Everybody has two families:
The stable family, we pretend to have
and then there's the real people we are related to.
My best friend Kenny says stable family's makes boring children.
And by stable families, I think he means the kind where mum,
and dad and kids all living in the same house all the time.
And by boring, he means not as cool as we are.
Still and undisputed, universal master of the jungle gym.
I'm getting too old for the super sonic death spiral.
Lucy, play is the great educator.
Alright, it's sole purpose is to prepare
juvenile animals for adulthood.
It's not play if you puked your guts out.
Hey, when you say's your dad was going to be home?
I guess I'll see your in a week then.
Hey, I'm not going to ditch you just 'cause my dad's home.
Lucy. It's fine... just go.
- It's fine... I'm cool here. - Yeah?
- You go! - Okay!
Mom says she fell in love with dad because he was fun
and goofy and everything felt bigger when he is around.
And he's still that way.
Except since dad's a lumberjack, he's only home four or five times a year.
When dad's here, we stopped everything.
Mom stays home, I skips school, it's like a vacation.
I don't know when I first started to notice
the argument my parents weren't having.
Hey, let's go out for breakfast.
I'm not a kid anymore. I won't help you.
Yeah, you are. And yeah you'll... Come on!
- We're lucky your dad has a job. - You always say that.
We're all doing the best we can.
Is lying to dad about your job doing the best we can?
He's out there working his butt off to support us. You'll hurt his feelings.
So, should I lie to you about what I'm doing to protect your feelings?
I'm surprised that you didn't get warned already
I would. I'd did anything interesting I would actually lied about.
Don't worry honey, you will! Just give it time.
Mom pretends she doesn't have a job when dad's here.
She says it's because dad kind of old school about family roles.
If you asked me, it's kind of lame that her
secret identity is being a tele-marketer.
- Mom? What? - Straight home.
I don't even have my license yet.
Oh! You're a natural. I mean, think of all the kids you know with license.
Is there any of them more capable than you? It'll be fun.
Wait! How are you going to get home?
If I can't find a ride in this outfits, I deserved to walk.
So you're saying she isn't that great?
No, Scott! I'm saying you don't have to say it out
loud each random thought that you have.
I bet you she's really great. You can always tell
the ones that are gonna be dirty freaky sluts.
Oh yeah... Juicy Lucy. Ooh... you like that. Ooh yeah!
- Huh! - Shit!
Ooh... yeah.
- Sorry. - You're dead, Kenny.
You're... you're totally dead.
- You're deader than death! - Hey!
- You're gonna wish you were dead.
I saw your dad leave this morning.
I'll tear your guts out and feed them to the rats.
I'll ripped your head off and pissed down the hole.
I'll bet if he didn't manually decapitated you,
and position your body in just the right angle,
- I'll bet he still couldn't - You're gonna wish you were dead.
Get a stream of urine going.
- Yuck it up, dead boy. - Hey Scott, what if I kiss you?
For real! Would you leave Kenny alone?
- Yeah. - Lucy, what are you doing?
Lucy. Come on, Lucy.
So you promised you won't hurt Kenny?
You're a terrible kisser.
What the hell? Who would want to deal with you anyway.
I believe you're our greatest resource,
and so to that end we planned to invest in you.
I'm happy to introduce to you one of the top tele-marketing
performing coaches in the state, Guy Carlsberg.
At the very based of our life is meaning.
And this meaning provides direction.
All of our actions are driven by our most basic believes.
It's this base of meaning, that prevents us from
drifting through an empty existence at work, at home
and in our relationships...
Really in all aspects of our lives.
I can't believe I almost make it to
sixteen without seriously kissing anyone.
And then the first one is Scott Booker.
No memories is malleable.
What has that have to do with Scott trying to lick the back of my throat?
It means that, every time you tell a story,
it changes a little bit in your memories, so...
you could say that I was your first kiss, and then after awhile,
it would be kind of like Scott never happens.
Kenny, I still got dirt in my mouth.
Oh yuck, I know. You wouldn't have to actually kiss me, I'm just saying.
I'm thinking of shaving my head.
Well, you'll probably look pretty cool.
I don't want to look cool.
You would have to kiss me.
- What? - To change the memory thing.
You have to do it!
Okay!
So of course when you start your soffritto
what's really important is to remember that
you're only as good as your pantry ingredients.
Now there's always in my word, two different kind of olive's oil.
The one that I cook with, keep in mind that there are both extra virgin.
One that I cook with,
and one that I finished with. The difference is about 30 bucks.
Then you gotta evaluate your entire pantry ingredients.
I'm adding a little sea salt. Sea salt from Triponey.
Now, so I also like to use a little bit of extra... to finish with.
Now this is... there are both from a single...
You know the bad gal always sit in the back of the class.
What, you're calling me bad?
I'm back to boring kids with a stable families,
don't have the beautiful mom who goes to work in stripper heels.
Bye, thank you!
Hey!
- Missing your dad? - Yeah!
So now, we've got our condiments going.
We've got our noodles in the water...
We had a seminary thingy at work today.
Turns out I'm drifting through an empty meaningless existence.
See... I tried to tell you.
- How's the show always on? - I record it.
I've kissed two boys today. So I probably ruined my whole life.
- With the tongue? - What?
No, it's gross!
Well, then you're probably not ruined quite yet.
- Do you want to go down to the river? - We could.
Could if you want.
It's not like we did anything wrong.
Yeah! I know.
Okay! So don't say stuff like we could if we want.
What kind of way is that to talk to me.
Holy shit!
Okay...
This one I'm gonna remember.
Kenny?
I think I've just given him a seizure.
Okay, so now the calamari is perfectly tender...
Kenny... are you epileptic?
Chicken Caesar... yeah. You're gonna have to dress it yourself.
If I dressed it now, the leaves will turn all soggy by lunch time.
I expect you to cultivate a deeper basic meaning in your own life.
Okay, you're using actual english words that I recognised
but I've no idea what you're saying.
I don't want you to end up like me.
Mom, that has always been one of my life ambitions.
Okay! Good girl.
- I love you. - Go!
I'll see you later.
Hello Miss Burgenham. My name is Lainee
calling on behalf of Premier Interworks.
Goddamn it. I'm on the federal no-call list. Get a new job, you loser.
Alright, let me hear what you guys got.
They're restructuring our work schedule...
- ... because of the nature... - Overtime on a Sunday?
- I won't be late, I promised. - Mom, I made a pork and lamb ragu!
- More people are home on weekend. - Yeah, okay.
You know it made more sense to call. I'm really, really sorry, Lucy.
- Yeah, me too. - Okay, bye!
Okay!
Hey, want to stay for dinner?
- I can't. - Please?
You know, my mom don't just like to eat alone.
Go invite her over!
Why? Are you ashamed of me or something?
I'll give you some sauce to take home.
I wish my dad were here.
You know how I say about dreaming big?
Yeah?
Well, my bigger life... I get to eat dinner with you every single night.
I'm gonna cook you the most amazing meals.
So, the pen-ay is just about 30 seconds left to being perfectly cooked.
What you want to do at that point is take it out.
Maybe if I found dad a job here, we could be a real family.
Mom would have to quit working. Everything would be perfect.
I lost my parents at 16. And there is my boyfriend, Ron.
And Chuck... I mean my husband.
And I had Lucy at seventeen.
I was pretty much a total mess.
You probably hear this all the time but
you beat me, see myself on this floor.
It's so much lost at such a early age.
A lonely heart heal at their own pace.
Is this something I'm gonna need to lie about?
Lucy, what're you doing?
What am I doing? It is 5 am.
I'm sorry, Lucy. I should have call.
I fell asleep at my desk.
And where were you calling, Uzbekistan?
I just came home to shower, and changed clothes
and straight back to work and start the whole thing all over again.
And that's the best you can do? I fell asleep at my desk.
You know what... it's been a long night.
Yeah! It's been a long night here too.
Nice clogs.
Nice transsexual beauty queen costumes.
- You know school back's today. - I knew about it.
I was just checking.
I didn't know how much you've forgotten
about your alleged family life.
Well, have a great day, honey... okay! I'll be back home early tonight.
Are you going need to be congratulate for that?
Alright, just remember... no sexual energy. Okay... I mean...
if these people even sense we're going out, we'd be pretty shit!
We are going out?
I don't... I means... I don't know... I mean like...
What? Because of all the massive spring break weekends with you.
- Yeah, because of that! - It was 100 percent platonic.
Just become invisible. Tried to keep your animal desires under wraps.
Ooh... it'll be a tremendous struggle.
We were just this trained poodles jumping through hoops.
High school is not intended to challenge our intellect.
It doesn't even prepared us for anything real in life.
I mean what? After 4 years of poodle training we graduate,
and if we're really lucky
ours parents get to spend thousands of dollars of 4 more years
- of higher education... - Hey... what's up, Lucy.
Hi!
Where have you been? I never see you out or anything.
There's a party after the game on Friday.
I don't go to parties.
You should definitely start going to parties.
I'll text you the address. See you there.
How can you go off about poodle theory,
when you were just straight A 4.0.
How does Justin Haven have your cell number?
I don't know.
I don't even know he knows my name.
I don't get a 4.0
- if I'm always be in something. - Why?
- I need the power. - That's very gangster of you.
We're doom. You're too beautiful to be invisible.
Please don't say that!
Beautiful people are shallow and self-absorbed.
And come on... they never grow up.
Aah geez... Kenny!
- So you're looking for a job? - Maybe.
Don't you think you've a shot at General Contractor?
Just taking a look at what's out there.
- How was school? - The same.
Our seminar thing was about pride today.
Go figure!
You're gonna take pride in you know... raising you.
I don't have much credit that I can take
but I'm really proud of who you are.
What's the deal with hand jobs? How do you know if you're doing the right...
Lucy, please. I'm sorry, okay!
Went to a party Friday night with Kenny.
Well, that sounds like fun.
Probably not.
Don't you feel strong parental avoidance based on one.
This is everything.
You know there are people who actually lived back on high school
as being the best of their lives.
- I'm fine. - Hey, I knew you'd come.
- Kenny, right? - Hey ya, Timmo.
Man, I thought the catcher was going to cry after
- he miffed the tag at me on home plate. - I know!
- You were amazing. - I did it all for you.
We drinking here or what?
- Rage! - Rage?
To rage!
It's like I was saying when Brad called me,
don't be sneaking off on the sophomores, man.
To Lucy Diamond. The hottest bitch on North Central High.
Hey, who you're calling a bitch?
She's adorable.
Make a hole. Vomit express!
- Kenny! - He's fine.
He's fine. He just needs a little air.
- Hey! - What?
Hey, you over delusional sense of confidence.
Kenny!
Okay?
Can you please don't do that?
- I love you, Lucy. I do! - Ooh Kenny... Kenny!
Kenny! You are not in love. You're drunk.
Justin said that you're hot and you love him now.
Justin is a meat-head. He is cute, but dumb. He doesn't even get sarcasm.
- You know... you think he's cute. - No. I don't think he's cute. Come on!
No, I don't think he's cute. You are so heavy.
Don't step in that, yeah!
Hello!
Come here! There's my girl. How're ya...
- Make me a muscle. - Dad!
No more sign. I wanna be a chef.
All done being daddy's little lumberjack, huh?
- Welcome home. - So... What's happened?
So... you left March 12 at eight fifteen. Mom and I went
to the diner's. She got an omelet, I had pancakes and they...
- Yeah... okay, then what? - I drove home!
- You drove home? - Yeah!
In town?
Well, mom told me to come straight home, but I did go to the park.
Wait, mom let you drive alone?
Dad, I was... I was just trying to impress Kenny.
And there was this other guy there who made me kiss him, so...
What!?
Some bitch-tarded assholian
- made you kiss Kenny? - No, dad!
Some skanky guy Scott and I had to.
He was going to beat up Kenny if I didn't...
- Scott! Scott who? - Dad, it was nothing.
It was just stupid playground stuff and he...
Alright... okay! Where was the person formerly known as
your mother when all this kissing and driving was going on?
Dad! She was going to be late so
- I had to drop her off... - Late? Late for what?
- Good morning. - Lainee... what the
hell is going on?
I don't know what I was thinking, Chuck.
- I just... - Mom, I told him about the job.
A job?
What do I need... Do you want me to send more money?
Are you having trouble paying the bills?
It's something to do, Chuck!
It's get really lonely. What exactly do you
think I should be doing when you're gone?
Pay attention to raising your daughter.
I have been raising our daughter by myself for 16 years.
Kenny?
- Lucy. - I'm freezing. Move over.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
Lucy!
- You know I love you, don't you? - That was sex, Kenny. Not love.
- Lucy, I'm serious. - I gotta go!
Hello? Lucy?
Kenny?
PLANNED PARENTHOOD
Lucy! You have got company.
There was a really bad famine in the 3rd century.
These butcher, lured 3 little boys into their shop,
murder them, soaked them in a barrel of brim.
- It must have been a huge barrel. - Why, chopped them up!
He's been selling them as ham.
Then Saint Nicholas, brought the little boys back to life.
Saint Nicholas like Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas?
Yeah, a lot of people don't know that about.
I didn't. So what, they were like little boy zombies or something?
Well, you really didn't believe in Santa Elves, did you?
- No... no, you gotta... - I guess not, yeah.
- Hi. - Hey.
Hey, I thought we should get a head start on our homework
so it's not hanging over our head all weekends.
- Yeah. There's cookies inside. - Yeah.
So, there's a pill you can take to keep from getting pregnant.
It's a emergency contraception plan B pill. I got it at Planned Parenthood.
You went there?
So even in the spirit of Easter,
you're saying bringing people back from the dead
is not such a good thing.
Well, I mean if it's a full on miracle with no
side effects like brain's damage, or motor control,
then yeah... it's a good thing but
I think the grey area of moralistically
is in the quality of life after resuscitation.
Sure! I get to smell like pickles.
Right! See... that's no good, you know.
- I got that! - Homework.
- Hello! - Chuck, this is Libby.
Oh... hey, how're you doing?
It's best to take the pill before 72 hours from this morning.
I already took it.
I'll tell what. I've got a better idea.
Why don't you guys come over here for brunch.
Yeah, Lucy always made some mountain of food.
They're like brother and sister already, so...
- you know, we're already like family. - Okay!
- 11 o'clock on Sunday? - Alright.
Fantastic! Alright, I'll see you then.
We're gonna have Easter brunch on Sunday together. How great is that?
Did you know that I used to babysit your mom?
Of course she does.
Remember I told you about the babysitter
- who puked in our Jack janitor? - Ooh, I forgot all that!
- And what you did... didn't you... - What?
Give Lainee's cousin the teething to wear
that you found in her mother underwear's drawer?
I was 14. I had no idea why the women were
so upset and the men couldn't stopped laughing.
It was a vibrator.
Yeah, I got there on my own. Thank you.
So then Lucy, winds up having to kiss this
shitdiculous kid Scott something, Scott...
Booker.
Scott Booker.
Scott Booker. Scott mix smell ass Booker. Yes!
Apparently to save Kenny from getting a beating.
See, that's completely unfair.
Hey, let's do that thing where we all go round
and say what we're thankful for.
- All I'm saying what's unfair? - At Thanksgiving...
Teenage boys have feelings too. Did it occurred to you that
Scott or Kenny might have been embarrassed or upset by what happened?
I'll start... I am thankful to live in a country...
I can tell you all about teenage boys and their penis-centric feeling.
...nonfiction novel and
- reality television. - Ooh, that's such a
stupid over generalization.
I am thankful for the multi Italiano cookbook which I got...
It's just as hard to be a teenage boy as it is
to be a teenage girl. Isn't that right, Kenny?
As a former pregnant teenager, I'd say it's way tougher being a girl.
Lenny, I know you were lost in your grief
and your anger when your parents died.
And... and even Chuck dropped out of High school.
Everyone said he'd a chance of playing college ball.
I don't want Kenny to have to give up his life like Chuck did.
Kenny has just as much at risk in a sexual relationship as Lucy does.
What the F... ing shit?
I think the issue isn't so much who has a more difficult time,
I think it's challenging for all of us...
- Maybe you didn't know? - No, I don't.
I don't need you to tell me what you think my daughter is doing...
Nothing is being taught...
And I don't have to standby and pretend
that there's nothing I can do about it.
The real issue is how do we hold society more accountable?
That's enough!
Are you making accusing against our daughter? How dare you?
And I didn't give up my life. My family is my life.
You know in the eastern religions they... they believe that our entire
life's were just an illusion and none of this is actually real.
The Buddhists call it samsara.
Hey... hey!
Who's a good boy?
- What a samsara Easter. - You know I didn't tell her anything.
I know.
Our parents are never to be within 500 yards of each other.
That's absolutely imperatives.
I don't want to have sex again.
It's not because of your mom and my dad's.
- I just want to wait till we're older. - Okay.
That's it? Okay?
Hello, Chica.
Do you know how long we've been doing this?
Easter leftovers feast for the dogs? Since we were 8.
Right and we have been friends since we were six.
That's 10 years, Lucy. You know, most marriages don't even last that long.
I just want us to last.
I thought guy's was supposed to have a sexual thought every 30 seconds?
I didn't say I wouldn't think about it.
- Hey! No alcohol. - Agreed, but...
You realised this make us like totally abnormal, right?
We could always take up smoking.
Yeah, or latexbondage. I hear that's fun.
Scott?
Hey, Lucy. Look what I went and found.
Here you go.
Scott.
I was raised in Saint Bartholomew orphanage.
And while I realised that was a pretty strict
upbringing and a different time...
We didn't force girl's to do things back then.
Yes, sir!
Dad, it wasn't even his idea.
Do you know what happened
- to Saint Bartholomew? - No, sir!
They took a knife and they skinned his feet.
And he's alive. He's watching this happened. Now, they just want
1 big piece of skin. So, you know...
They're taking their time. One long slice at the leg...
and they carefully peeled the skin away from the muscle.
Now, most people die when they reached the mid-section but Bartholomew,
is one of the apostles.
He's still alive, even after they skinned his face off his skull.
Dad... come on! There is no really...
Your apology should be so sincere, that it breaks my heart.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Lucy. I really didn't mean it. I really am sorry.
Real men treat women with respect.
- Say it. - Real men treat women with respect.
Have a good Easter, Scott.
Scott, I'm so...
- Scott was scared to dead. - I just need him to apologizes to Lucy.
- Well, you'll be lucky if his family - Seeing he's out driving around...
doesn't pressed charges.
Oh please! You've your job now, right?
So somebody had to make time for parenting.
You call that parenting?
What... I'm not enough to get jealous about anymore,
you have to throw Lucy in too?
Anything I need to be jealous about? Who should I be jealous about?
Go cool off before you do something really stupid.
Mom, are you okay?
Yeah, I'll be.
- Hello? - How's the hottest bitch
- of North Central High. - Would you stop calling me that.
- Boy troubles? - This jerk won't leave me alone.
Get used to it.
Hey sweetie. I just called work, they're short a couple of guys.
Can't even give this guy some privacy.
Same old... same old.
What... you're leaving?
Yes, I just called work. They're short of a couple of guys. I gotta go.
Jesus... Chuck, you're lying. You're lying right in my face.
Now I am the liar? I'm the one that keeps us going, lady.
You think you make enough with your little job to pay for all this?
I'm leaving because I've to work. Somebody have to work...
You know what? Go, just go then. Run away...
How is the hottest bitch of North Central High?
Building self-esteem is one thing, but maintaining a high level esteem
required you incorporate 629
into your life and make them a habit for you.
What a piece of shit!
- Hey. - Hey.
So you want to add a little bit herbal and...
a little fresh paisley, a little bit...
Kenny says we hit rock bottom with the Easter freak feast.
I always picture rock bottom with way more hard drugs and bad cooking.
So when these last 30 seconds is when everything really great,
that can happen can, but also when it could be a disaster.
And now it gets you in the right spot, and then you take it to the plate.
Hey!
I got your text. What's going on?
- I'm okay! Just... - Hey!
You don't actually seem that ok!
Do you remember that morning I came into your room?
Well, I think we can improve on that memory.
What about our abstinence promise?
It will be like a do-over.
Do-overs don't count.
- I've to go live with my dad. - What?
They've changed my parenting plan.
Apparently my dad's really been working his sobriety.
They can't make you move clear across the state.
We're minors. They can make me do anything they want.
We have to wait until the school years over.
No, Lucy... power corrupts. And parental power corrupts absolutely.
Is it because of me, because of us?
- Probably. - My God!
We are stupid. We have ruined everything.
Hey!
Yo!
- Where's Kenny? - I don't know.
Hey, you know what happen right there?
You! You have been right there.
That is something I never needed to know.
Your dad was the only man I'd sex with until this year.
Mom, I... come on!
Where is Kenny? Where are you?
Text to the masses, cutting classes...
smacking them asses...
Hello shawty! No, look... seriously. There's a really great party tonight.
Everyone's gonna be there.
It's too bad I hate everyone or else I'll be there too.
You're weird, you know but in a super hot way.
You're clueless, you know but in a dull and obvious way.
I see your future, Lucy Diamond. You'll lighten up and you'll have fun.
In high school, I thought I was going to be famous.
Famous for what?
I don't know. I just... I still think I wasn't going
to end up so, so regular.
Boring.
My parents died in a car crash when I was in high school, so...
- actually I like kinda stood out. - Jesus!
And Chuck was an orphan so I figured he was
the only person who could understand me.
- He sort of rescued you? - No, that was Lucy.
She forced me to fight my way back to regular and boring.
Ooh, there's nothing about you that's regular and were boring.
He hasn't been in school all week. He wouldn't just leave.
- He's really not here, Lucy. - No, I'm coming over there.
Justin said you want to ride with us to the party.
I got this for you. Seems like you weren't into beer.
- Saint Judah. - Huh?
Patron saint of lost causes. Beaten to death
with a club and beheaded 1st century AD.
Isn't that a Beatles song?
Nice car. Does it go fast?
High school hero can't dance? No!
Are you gonna rapped or are you gonna dance? Come on!
I could dance. I could dance.
I think your girlfriend is kinda jealous of us talking.
Jaime? No, me and her broke-up a long time ago.
You don't think I'm good enough, so I can't hang out with you guys?
- She's wrong about that. - Yeah.
- You're drunk. - I know.
Come on.
Look, everyone staring at us now.
- Let them watch! - Okay...
Okay, you've got to give them a show.
Come on! I even have my sweat-shirt on.
Come on... I can't move my arms. Hey, stop!
Come on, cut it out. That's hurt... cut it out.
That was awesome!
So the word, consensual mean anything to you?
What did you think was going to happen?
I need you... I need you to leave.
- Is everything okay? - Does it actually looks like I'm okay?
Why do you smell like vomit?
How many possible answers can there be to that question?
Kenny is gone.
- He didn't even say goodbye. - Oh Lucy, honey. I'm so sorry.
Someone gave me peppermint schnapps at the party.
Once I got sick on cinnamon schnapps.
And now I gargle a little every-time I walked past a Cinnabon.
- Hey Mom... - Yeah?
I puked inside my shirt.
It's been my experience, parents usually
know more than you think they do.
My dad's away working.
It might helped both of you if you let your mother know.
She thinks I'll ended up just like her.
Evidences I collect today can be held anonymously for 30 days.
You've that amount of time to decide if you want to file a police report.
There's a drug Truvada... it would help prevent you from getting HIV.
Like AIDS... HIV?
It has to be taken for 3 weeks and the side-effects
are intense like a really bad flu.
I'm a sophomore in high school. I kissed a total of 3 boys.
The medication I would encouraged you to consider given the situation.
Hey... hey! How are you? I... I try to call you.
I've been really worried.
Hey Lucy! Wait up.
I'm not Justin. I'm not like him, Lucy. I didn't do anything.
No, you didn't do anything. You didn't say anything.
You just let him think it was okay.
Yeah... I don't think he's going to listen to anything.
Okay... well, congratulations because you're so much
the better person, it's impressive.
Sorry, I left without saying goodbye. In my bigger life,
I'm far way more mature than that. Not such a detestable chicken shit.
How are you feeling?
Like I'm covered in coals and I wanna puked through my eyes.
I can't believe you've the flu on your birthday.
Yeah!
- Rotten luck, huh! - Wanna open dad's first?
Wow, life-time achievement award for worst present ever.
I think they're adorable.
- Is that from Kenny? - Yeah.
Oh, these are pretty bottles.
It is olive oil.
Must be good stuff.
It is really, really good.
Something smells great!
Oh... It's just chicken.
I didn't have time to plan it, make it more elaborate.
Oh, I didn't know you were fixing anything.
- It's my birthday! - I'm so sorry. I... I...
I just thought that we would go out together when you're feeling better.
You know, I'll sit with you while you eat.
Hey mom! You don't have to.
- No, I'm gonna call and cancel this- - Mom...
Honestly! That would just make it worse.
I'm fine.
So with this dish, I recommend a delicate dry
white wine from the Pouilly or from the Veneto
My favourite is Pinot Grigio, riddled in with the greenness
in the hills of the eastern side of the Fréville mountains.
If I hadn't had sex with Kenny, if I had been more strict with mom...
If I made it clear to Dad, that we needed him here.
If I hadn't been such a stupid drunken dumb-ass who
didn't even consider something hideous could happen...
With just a little bit... of toasted sliced almonds.
Hey, I got your postcard.
Yeah, well, just because I send you a postcard everyday
doesn't mean I think about you all the time.
- That would be blatantly pathetic. - Yeah... yeah, even for me.
I'd this dream where we were at the Jungle gym.
Wait, I'm confused. I thought that was real life.
No, no... listen.
In a dream, we start at the Jungle gym. We walked in opposite
direction until we met on the other side of the world.
And then I thank you for
- always having my back. - Yeah...
Shut up!
You know what we should do this summer? There's an Italian class
at the library and it's free and we could take it and...
It's just my dad had already signed me up
for summer class as it's a college year.
That's stupid.
But there's a week right before
school start again and...
- What before school start? - Well, it wasn't my idea, okay.
Kenny, you're kidding me? You're telling me I'm not gonna
- see you all summer. That's crazy! - Lucy! Lucy... Lucy...
Hey! I...
Okay, I imagined you think you're being devoted and persistence
- but this is known as stalking. - Okay, I promised I will
leave you alone.
Oh, so you're stalking me just to promise to leave me alone this summer.
Please just let me say one thing, okay.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately...
Oh, that's too late to start thinking. Just stick to
mindlessly following your peer's group.
- That peer group thing... - Yo... incoming!
Artful move there, dude.
Oh, so it's going to be like that, huh.
- Alright! - I feel like I need to make
amends for my part in that.
Always picking on my rebounds, huh... Timmy boy.
Damn. Pretty step-up, Tim.
- Justin, you just got ditch! - Excuse me...
Hey, I'm going fishing. Do you think you might want to come along?
I've only just stop thinking of you as an heinous ass-hole.
Okay, it's just fishing. It's to celebrate
the end of the school year. And to
show you I'm not a heinous ass-hole. It doesn't mean anything.
Okay, maybe!
Well, you know when Mario Batali was our age, he was living in Spain.
I live in a region that's famous for it's chicken fried steak.
I'm so far behind in my life.
You know I read that women who have had more than one sexual
partners are later more contended in their marriages.
Wow, that's statistically really romantic of you, Mr. Idle Leftfield.
You know if you ever do decide to hook up with someone else,
just don't tell me about it, okay. I mean... I...
I have a really visual imagination. I don't need those pictures in my head.
You're telling me, you want me to lie to you?
Yes, please lied your ass off. Just be convincing.
I should warn ya. I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy.
Like to wear tighty whitties and listen to Bob Seger and ZZ Top.
No... I mean, I believe in going slow.
- You mean with sex? - Yeah.
You know I just think... you know...
Real intimacy is physical and emotional, right.
I just... I feel like I need to really know someone before we can...
Kiss?
No, kissing would be ok.
Not the full on horizontal Bob?
And now you're making fun of me
- No, no, no, I'm serious. - No, no... you're making fun of me.
You have no idea how cool I think that is.
It's cool.
I get all the love songs now, doesn't used to make sense to me before.
He's married, isn't he?
Why do you say things like that?
I hate that you're right all the time.
I'm a complete pessimist so the odds are always with me.
Why do people stay together? In bad relationships I mean.
They eat so much shit for so long,
they don't even recognize the taste of it after a while.
You think I've been eating shit, don't you?
- Lucy, wait! - It's okay. I would like to.
Do they have to be oyster mushrooms?
How do you tell which ones is the oyster mushrooms?
Like a lightish-brown, kind of fan shaped.
Stop.
Wait, I'm gonna ask somebody.
Never mind, I'll be home in a little bit.
Shit, shit! Quickly, quickly!
Hey, kiddo!
Quickly put your jeans on!
Hello... hello?
Anyone here?
Lucy?
- Hello? - Bob?
Hey! I'm with the family now.
Is that your estranged wife that you have your arm around right now?
The one you can't stand to touch?
- Please, please, please please... - Lainee?
Jeff? Is that... is that you?
Just because we didn't have sex does not mean you weren't cheating.
You should know that, you're being unfaithful to everyone around you.
Lainee!
Dad, it's just me.
Lucy...
I'm coming over there if you keep this up.
Look... don't! I'll just..., let me go to the...
Mr. Diamond... I'm Tim, I'm sorry that we had to meet this way
Just one second.
Tim, Tim... will you please stop it!
Daddy!
- Don't make a scene. - No, you make a scene! This is entirely
and completely your old-fashioned guy kind of scene!
Hey, sweet-sweetie, look I got you these.
Why don't you go put that in the... in the car with Mummy, huh.
We love each other. We're going to get married.
No, we do not. We're not... just go!
Daddy... daddy, are you okay?
And Saint Agathe was forced into a brothel, but no man... could... enter.
Those who even dare to touch her got sick and die.
She was thrown into the prison and tortured.
Her breasts were crushed and then cut-off.
She was forced to roll in hot coals.
But through-out it all, she refused to give up her virginity.
So, I should wanna be tortured and mutilated
rather than have sex with a guy I really liked?
Is that the moral to the story?
This is not the person I want you to be, Lucy.
What do you want me to be? You want me to be like mom who
as it happen, you got pregnant when we were both exactly my age.
Your mother and I gave up everything. We got married to have you.
What? How about if I'm a self-center immature controlling high school
drop-out who uses every excuse not to be with my family?
Is that the person you want me to be?
You're such an awesome role model, dad.
You know we need to showing up every
3 months to provide your moral guidance.
I got it. I got it!
We could get a restraining order.
Why? He'll just come back in
a few months and everything will be the same.
I don't want that!
- Are you and dad over, then? - We were over a long, long time ago.
I wish my parents were still alive.
Do you miss them?
Yeah, but I missed them all for you.
- I wish you had them. - Grandparents would be kind of cool.
I came from a good family, you know.
And any mess I have made of my life, I'd no one to blame but myself.
There's no one I want to talk to... Except Kenny and you.
- Hello. - Lainee, is that you?
- Ron? - It's me.
- Oh, my God! - I know, right...
- I just thought that I... - Ron...
- Where are you? - Well, actually I'm...
You know it's been years and years and years.
- Well, I know I did. - So I tried to...
This is not the person I want you to be.
Mom!
- Did dad ever try to find his parents? - What?
I thought maybe that's why he was gone all the times.
- Hey, you know what I was thinking? - No, almost never.
We get a way for awhile. We take a little road trip.
Ron was saying that his parents owned a restaurant in Fairview.
Ron?
As in your high school boyfriend, Ron?
Well, we could have dinner with Ron.
And then just you and me, we could stayed for a few days.
- Why would we do that? - Because we never do anything.
We deserve something fun. And 'cause, it's got... you know all that
nature and beauty stuff going on.
- I guess... - Okay, great!
We go packed if we're gonna go. We should hit the road.
Ron parents owned "The Two Sister's Cafe"?
- You've heard of it? - You haven't heard of it?
Ron been helping his dad past few weeks.
He's supposed to leave this morning but
he said he'll wait for us if we came up.
Are you done?
Hi, Lainee.
- This is Lucy. - Oh... hi!
Stop staring.
- I like him. - Yeah, me too.
- He's kind of like your Kenny. - Yeah, maybe.
Ron owns a restaurant on a beach. It's like a really high-end place.
- What beach? - Puerto Vallarta.
The Puerto Vallarta that's in Mexico?
- He likes us to come down there. - Like a vacation?
Ron really, really likes you, Lucy. You could work
at a professional kitchen. We could learn to speak Spanish.
It's the kind of vacation where I get a job?
He needs to leave tonight. It would take a couple of days
to get down there but we could all get to know each other better in the car.
You realized that's insane, right?
Right, that's probably part of the appeal.
Remember when you told me that you and dad were done?
Oh actually no, wait. That's was today!
No... no!
This is not about me and your dad.
No, so what's this about? Because it's not about
me working in a professional kitchen.
- It'll be fun. - Mom, stop! We're not doing this.
You're not the one who decides. I'm the mom and you're the kid.
Based on what?
Your great sense of responsibilities or
your amazing problem solving skills?
You want us to move to Puerto Vallarta with
some stranger from what, God knows...
No! He's not a stranger!
Lucy, please! I have to know, I have to do this!
Have to know what? How awesome your life
would've been if I hadn't been born?
God, no! No, Lucy, you're the only thing that's turned out right.
You're... everything!
I just... I just can't do it anymore.
Can't do what? Be my mom?
I just...
...feel like I'm... like I'm dying.
I...
I need something. I need... something else.
I need to... belong.
I need to find something.
Okay, mom.
If you need to go... go.
- I can't go without you. - I'm 16. I'm not pregnant.
I'm not getting married.
Who can take better care of me than me?
No, Lucy, I...
You're gonna make me run away to Mexico
with you and your high school boyfriend? No!
You go.
I... I can maybe go for two weeks.
I'll take it.
- I'll give you the ATM card. - Okay.
- Okay, two weeks. - Okay.
Jean Paul Satre said we experience sense of being abandon
when we realize there is no God.
- Or in this case parents to guide us. - I love you.
But it forces us to take absolute responsibility
for our actions and choices.
I think I'm responsible.
You're the most responsible person that I know.
- Well, you don't know that many people. - Still, I know a lots of people.
- Did you hear me before? - I did.
Thanks for having my back.
Always have.
Always will.
Please don't hate me for this. I'll call you everyday.
My dad will be back in an hour, so...
- So I'm sure you would have to meet.. - Yeah, I'll be back in here.
Hi, I'm Lucy Diamond.
My name is Gerald.
My mom's the one who ran away to Mexico with your son.
Yeah, that kind of circle back around, didn't it?
- Are you hungry? - What are we serving?
Eggs in hell. Oh, no offense, it's just custom sauce.
None taken.
Actually saw this place on the food network.
- Really? - Yeah.
Well, we do okay for a food cafe stuck out in the middle of nowhere.
Nicely done. The Jalapeño doesn't overpower the other flavours.
This is like a... plate of home-cooked Americana.
Cool.
You know, if you like this, I make a mean risotto.
- Oh, I love risotto. - Yeah.
It's comfort food.
Here's how I think my bigger life will look.
My parents split up.
I graduated from the culinary institute.
Kenny gets a PhD in something brainy and world changing.
Later I publish a best-selling cookbook
based on the recipes from my restaurant.
Mario Batali writes the introduction.
Hey, if memory is malleable, then the future is too, right?