And honestly...
I wake up happy.
I mean, I'm that guy.
I've got enough of everything I need.
I'm single, I like a party,
and I'm old enough to enjoy it.
Young enough to enjoy it.
I want to do something, and I do it.
There seems to be a little problem.
Oh. Must be the magnetic stripe.
And the weird thing is
I know it's all a cliché.
No strings, no obligations,
but what's the alternative?
Get into some life, wife, kids,
some kind of car with too many seats?
That's a world where you have to do whatever it is
other people want you to do to keep it going.
It's prostitution when you think about it.
But there is a nagging feeling that I'm missing something.
Sorry, I don't know what the problem is.
No, it's not your fault.
That should do it.
And maybe in the end, I'm worrying for nothing.
I mean, I'm not at this stage of my life
where I have to worry about most of this stuff.
Maybe I never will.
I must sound pretty selfish.
Or just drunk.
This is no good either.
You're kidding.
Are you serious?
Whoa. Come on, wait.
You know I have money.
I just don't have any on me...
or on my credit cards,
but I get paid all the time, and a lot.
Maybe next time.
Car fare?
And by the way...
as someone whose life really is prostitution,
I can tell you that until you're actually fucking for a living,
you shouldn't be complaining.
Wait a minute. That's not what I meant.
Thanks for the drink.
Call Beverly if you want to make it up to me.
Good evening.
Oh, shit.
Hello?
Hey. Ah, Jesus!
You have the right to remain silent.
Oh, wait. Stop.
Ow!
Don't test me!
Stop!
I warn you, lam a yellow belt.
Stop.
Stop!
Stop! Relax!
It's me!
Jesus!
What is wrong with you?
I heard a noise.
Ah...
Turn right... I heard a noise.
Everything is cool.
There's nobody there.
I swear.
It's all right.
Five-four-three-two-one-zero.
Ignition. Lift-off.
I guess that's really what I've been trying to write about.
I mean, who are we trying to fool?
We 're not only animals, we're the worst animals there are.
Why do we eat meat?
The Greek gods dined on ambrosia and nectar,
but we need to incorporate other species into us.
Look at Christianity.
"This is my body. This is my blood. ”
That's why I'm doing this chapter about the genocide in Rwanda.
The Tutsis were vegetarians,
and the Hutus were ranchers, who eat meat,
and they regarded the Tutsis as monkeys, as animals,
and that's why they had no trouble killing them. Don't you think?
Honestly, Ben, I don't know why
the farmer and the cowhand can't be friends.
But I do know that part of the reason
why some people regard other people as animals
is because they don't observe the social conventions
most of us take for granted.
Every human function is disgusting in our society.
I side with the public on this one.
I know what I am...
and that's an animal.
I'm human, but animal.
You're wasting a lot of thought on something
that's not going to get you high or laid.
I always say, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Well, you're very wise.
And broke.
That is so uncool.
Can't I just take some money back?
I get paid very soon, and when I do,
I'm going to float you another loan.
Until then, I'd like to borrow back what I lent you.
Why do you need to leave?
You just going to go out there and be part of the machine?
Hey, that machine is what keeps you in all this.
Now you know there's no one out there today, right?
Yeah.
So just hold it together and do whatever it is you do.
I'm writing a book.
What is it that you do?
Fuck it. I'm going to get the didgeridoo.
Please, didgeri-don't.
Forgot my ID.
I wish I could say you look trustworthy.
Buenos dias.
Hey, Steve.
There she is.
Miss Weather Center two years in a row.
Pretty much the usual.
There's this pocket of cold air coming in,
but you'll see it on the composite.
I'm going to talk to Dave about putting a real window in here
so we can see if any of this stuff is right.
It's right. Want one?
They're poison.
But there's two of them.
Got him.
God, you cut it so close.
Thrilling, isn't it?
Nice to see you, Mr. Dallas.
Victoria, looking lovely and authoritative.
Kyle, you want to blow your nose
and avoid a repeat of yesterday?
You said it wasn't a big deal.
I say a lot of things,
like did I mention Steve, glad you could make it?
Can I get some water?
And is there any way to turn these lights down a little?
Five seconds.
Four, three...
It's the Channel 18 Eyewitness Newsteam.
News at Noon, Chesapeake Edition
with Kyle Robertson at sports.
Do the Ravens finally have a kicker?
Steve Dallas in the Weather Center.
Beauty of a day out there,
and I'm going to tell you all about it.
And now, Victoria Riolobos
with the news.
Good afternoon.
Tragedy struck this morning as a Truxton man
backed his late-model SUV
into a daycare center.
One youngster remains in critical condition
after being struck by shrapnel-like debris
during the collision, but luckily,
the rest emerged scathed only by...
Do you think the graphic is in bad taste?
I don't know.
Kind of captures the mood.
She's really solid.
...Identified the driver under investigation.
And he's really high.
You know, Stu?
You don't just go spreading rumors about people like that.
The man is a working professional.
Lots of people have squinty red eyes,
insatiable thirst, and trouble walking.
He could be diabetic or something.
You're right. I'm sorry.
The bearded and bespectacled doctor
murdered at least 26 patients,
making him one of the world's most prolific killers.
So Steve, how's it looking out there today?
It's about time we saw some of this warmer weather.
Well, Victoria, let's get things started
with a little shot of the harbor
and some seagulls enjoying the sunshine.
How you doing there, fellas?
Today's high will get up to about 65 degrees
with unlimited visibility
which means if we could get this Knucklehead out of the way,
you could see clear down to Ocean City.
Coldest spot in the nation?
Why, that honor goes to...
Bismarck.
Smooth as silk.
That seem to you like someone on drugs?
...and at 100% humidity and 89 degrees
little Hilo, Hawaii is both the hottest
and wettest spot in the nation.
I guess that makes it the number one destination
for teenage boys, eh, Victoria?
I guess so, Steve.
So I know I don't have to tell you
that showing up with enough time for us to know
that you're going to be here, and in condition to work
is 90 percent of it.
And why the fuck are you paying attention
to your computer?
Are you ever going to friend me?
You think you're irreplaceable?
You have this job because you're handsome and you can talk.
And people trust me.
No one trusts you.
You think you're going to move to a bigger market?
Not with that nose.
You know, I could just as easily demean your job
if I had any idea what it entailed,
and honestly, I kind of resent you
making this so awkward for me.
What are you talking about?
Well, I need a little money till the end of the month.
It's the sixth.
Look, I didn't say give it to me-.
It's just an advance.
You know what the good thing is?
I know you can't go on like this forever.
Guys like you count on that,
but what if you're wrong?
Fire drill?
I really doubt that.
I just want to see my friend.
Step away from the door, sir.
I'm only going to ask you once.
You'll break the door.
Fucking local ditwad...
Wait a second. I know that guy.
- You what? - I said I know that guy.
- Everybody calm down. - I have a yellow belt!
Jesus, Ben. Let her go.
Told you I just wanted to see my friend.
I'll... I'll pay for the plant.
My dad died.
Don't you...
No, no, no!
And could I get some Visine please?
Great.
I mean, would you like your kitty cat to be used as bait?
You have three-and-a-half pounds of crayfish.
I need three-and-a-half pounds of crayfish.
What the hell is going on?
I was telling him they're too little to eat,
and we have a strict no return policy.
What difference does it make what I want them for?
These are the babies of a species.
We judge a culture on how it treats its children, right?
They were hatched one day and raised to be murdered the next.
We're talking about one of the most sophisticated nervous systems in the world.
It's like us, the dolphins,
then them.
A hundred bucks.
You know, anyone who is going fishing today
has probably come and gone.
How about a markdown?
I don't give a shit.
I'm not arguing with the spirit of Operation Crayfish.
I'm just saying it was overfunded.
It's really beautiful.
I forgot, you know. It's been so long.
Yeah, I haven 't been back since my parents died.
Your parents aren't dead.
Well, you know, since they moved.
Because we've been circling our destination for...
three hours now,
and my feeling is we should get dressed
and rock this funeral.
I think I'm ready.
Goddamn.
Shit!
I still say it's better than ending up as bait.
They mate for life, you know.
Not those.
Uh-oh, look. He blew a foot.
Can you imagine if you had to shoot your car every time you got a flat?
Those people understand the land,
and they live by it.
I don't feel so good.
Although Sam Baker was not a religious man,
he found comfort and joy in his children, Teresa and Benjamin,
and his lovely wife, Angela.
Now reading from the Old Testament.
The Song of Solomon.
"Arise my love, my fair one.
Look at her, the slutty, wicked stepmother.
She wants it all to herself.
"...the flowers appear on the earth."
You can practically see through that dress.
I don't think so.
"...is heard in our land."
I'm sorry.
We got a late start.
It's okay.
It doesn't matter. You're here.
I just wish I could see him.
I just wish he could see that beard.
Your coat smells weird.
I'm just saying...
I think we sort of have to step up into the role of adults now
and decide what's going to happen with the estate.
I have some ideas,
some of which I actually ran past Dad,
so I know he wasn't opposed,
about basically dealing with the store.
How are the ribs?
They're good.
They're small, so they're either really cheap
or off a really, really young pig.
Well, steak's... Steak's pretty good.
I'll tell you what looks good is...
what do we got here, Ben?
Some deep-fried onions
dipped in Ranch.
Bet it tastes like springtime.
Boy, that vegetarian lifestyle takes a lot of discipline.
And the farm.
There's just that cruddy house,
but we're talking about almost 150 acres of land.
I don't think we should be talking about this right now.
Jesus, Steve, eat your fucking ribs.
Are you sure nobody wants any wine?
I got the best one on the laminate.
What are you even doing here?
I'm his ride.
Look, Ben, I wanted to discuss this just as family,
without her, and certainly without your ride.
I don't think that you're suited to deal with any of this stuff.
And I don't mean that as an insult.
I just know that you've been happy with your life as it is.
And when you consider what the property is actually worth...
It's so weird to be home
and to think that he's not here,
how we just put him in a hole in the ground.
You know, Terri, maybe...
maybe now really isn't the best time.
I'm just saying you can just sit back and I'll take care of you.
And I'll take care of this.
To taking care of things.
You can stay a night.
You said that guy with the mustache will cover for you.
Delia? Yeah, she'll do.
She's a good emergency measure, but...
but what am I doing here?
I mean, don't you want me to go home
and water the plant at least?
I just want all this to go away.
Look, man, you're going to have to face it.
Your sister is still a total buzzkill.
So you'll stay? I've got a sleeping bag.
I could be persuaded.
What's that, Obi-wan?
You want me to stay, too.
You got my fucking skates, Ben.
Hey...
I just wanted to say...
sorry for your loss.
Well, that's life, isn't it?
We're like waves in the ocean.
We roll in...
we have our existence, we break on the shore.
Hmm, what a beautiful and nautical way to think of things.
Now you might want to shut that window.
We're expecting some showers coming in from the coast.
I doubt it. Hasn't rained here in a while.
Well, you're the weather man.
Look, I don't know if I'm going to be staying in the house much longer,
so if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to be by myself.
Well, if you're interested in leaving right now,
I can get you on the next scheduled flight.
Thanks, but uh...
I try to avoid things that keep me from feeling.
Shhh!
"Whatever remains of me is hopefully not limited
"to my estate,
"my belongings.
"Know that what I leave you is in no way
"a measure of my feelings.
"Angela, you are the executor with all that entails.
"From the first time I saw you in my store,
"leading that field trip of very special young students,
"I knew the power of your soul
"to heal others was surely from another place.
"I would have left the planet long ago
"if not for making love to you,
"the kindness of your curves,
"your moistness in the morning,
"my ringers gently“
Oh, come on.
Yeah. Wow.
Again, what are you doing here? He's with me.
I'll leave. You got to bring him.
He's my husband.
Please, can we stop all this bickering?
A man died here, a very rich man.
That's okay, Mr. Stevens.
I'll read that part later.
All right.
"To Angela...
"according to her wishes,
"I leave the stars in the sky that we shared together.
"I would give them to her,
"but no one owns them."
Is that it? No, there's a bunch more sex stuff here.
Oh, good.
Okay...
"To Terri, my beloved daughter,
"I leave the lump sum of $100,000
"and $250,000 in double A bonds
"to do with as she wishes,
"hopefully for the education of her children
"should she have any."
Had to get that in there.
"To my only son Ben,
"!'m assuming that you're here,
"I leave my house, my business,
"and the remainder of the estate,
"with the hope that he get his shit together."
- What? - You got to be kidding me.
That would include the farmhouse and it's 144 acres,
the grocery store and its underlying property on Main Street,
that's the whole block,
and the rest of his assets
which totals close to 2.5 million dollars.
Oh, my God.
I need some air.
This is total bullshit. Jesus, Terri.
Was even competent when he wrote this?
Your father was quite lucid.
I'm sorry. My suit was really itchy, I...
So I'm not mentioned in there at all?
It's a lot of money.
2.5 million dollars?
It's more than a lot of money.
No, honey. I meant the 350 for us.
It is. Why aren't you happy?
You told me you thought she was going to get everything.
She's up to something. Believe me.
Like she boned a 77-year-old man
for five years for nothing.
But the will said this is what she wanted.
Why does she hate me so much?
It's really amazing.
I mean, it's all here, pretty much as simple
as filling out some change of address stuff.
What's the deal?
You overdo it on the celebrating?
Because I just started.
I don't know. You don't know what?
This is what we've been working for your whole life,
to inherit this money.
You know what we should do?
Order pizza.
Call those assholes up at Massata's and say,
"Guess what? You have to deliver
"all the way out to the Baker farm."
Pay them $1000 if that's what they want.
"Get in that Tercel
"and get that pizza out here now, fuckers."
And they'll do it.
I'm not hungry.
It hurts my head, all these facts and figures.
What are you talking about? You're four credits shy of being an MBA.
I'm not a businessman. I hate businessmen.
If Jerry Garcia hadn't lured you away
you would have been a great businessman.
Who knew there was so much money in a country store?
I don't want money.
You don't have to put such a shitty spin on everything.
Maybe this is your father's way of giving you
a chance to be what you always wanted to be.
This is my father reaching from beyond the grave to control me.
The whole thing just insinuates that I'm crazy,
that there's something wrong with the way that I live,
but I'm fine. Everything's fine.
I'm supporting you. Of course everything's fine.
Look, I'm the last person that should be saying this,
but what about me?
How's that?
What's the difference? I don't like hurting you.
Well, I don't like that making a baby feels like chemotherapy.
Look, honey, your dad just died.
And I'm shooting you full of hormones.
If that doesn't make you crazy...
Are we going to do this?
You still look beautiful.
Thank you.
Sorry!
I'll be out in a minute.
So you're really leaving?
What are you going to do now?
Some friends of mine have a farm in upstate New York.
Maybe I'll go hang out with them for a while.
Just growing incense and making your own clothes?
Not that you need any.
No, actually, I have a degree.
I'll probably go back to teaching special ed.
You got to look out for Number One, I guess.
You are so lovely.
What's your point?
It's just I knew the first Mrs. Baker
and she wasn't even remotely in your league.
I mean, ever.
Are you stoned?
Sure, I'm the weird one.
You had sex with a 900-year-old man.
That barrel chest, those toenails.
It probably sounds like a big joke,
since that's what love always sounds like to people like you,
But Sam took pleasure in everything in his life
that was real, his food, his farm,
his business, and yes, his wife.
So when you were a little girl and you imagined being with somebody,
that was it?
I can't believe you.
Sam needed me.
And he deserved me because he was wonderful to me.
You forget you're talking about someone I knew
longer than you actually.
He stopped talking to his son.
Ben stopped talking to him...
and it broke his heart.
Okay, well, maybe you'd better run along and get high,
so at least one of us can forget
we had this conversation.
Honey, what are you doing out there?
Just trying to keep these toys from killing the lawn.
I'll be up in a minute.
Is something burning? I smell smoke.
- Morning. - Morning.
I could make you some eggs if you want.
Wait, now, are they the kind with blood spots in them?
They're eggs from chickens who walk around.
So they do have blood spots in them.
Okay, everybody, are you sitting down?
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit.
I had a... sit!
I had an incredible night.
And I swear to God it was a visitation,
and Dallas, I can't thank you enough.
Are you okay?
I am beyond okay.
I'm past okay.
I'm not even looking back at it anymore.
Steve was right. This is my chance.
Of course I can't do it alone, but I was thinking
about taking the money from the grocery store
and creating an institute where people can come and study
how to regain man's balance with nature.
Horticulture, agriculture, aquaculture.
Angela, you know about all of this shit,
and you can give lessons on cleaning and all that woman stuff,
and Steve, if we're going to have a society,
we're going to need a TV station.
You could have the whole station.
That sounds great.
You look like you haven't slept much.
Why don't you sit down and we'll have some breakfast
and talk about the plan.
You understand I'm talking about fundamental changes to society.
- Mm-hmm. - I'm not hungry.
I have a mission statement to write.
Is it... always like that?
He usually doesn't make that much sense.
I'll be right back.
Hey, genius at work.
I'm modeling it on Plato's School of Athens
only not the Socratic method. It's more like Buddha.
You can relax. I can see what's going on in your face right now.
It's one tenth of what's going on in my mind.
You told me that my father had a plan for me,
to do what I wanted, and this is what I want,
and I'm not leaving you behind.
The TV station thing was just off the top of my head.
I want you to know that I'm grateful,
and the way that I figure it,
there's enough for me to keep the grocery store,
and for you to have the farm
and the house.
And it's not a gift.
You've earned it.
Suddenly the plan seems more appealing.
But I don't think you're... you seem a little...
The journey to enlightenment is stressful.
No, it's not enlightened.
Great, Mom's home.
Why are you still here?
Why are you so angry?
This was my mother's.
I need you to mellow out.
I need to keep my wits about me.
I'm going to get this all down. Please, you're out of control.
Let's take the edge off. Great...
This is my wedding all over again. What are you doing?
This is important shit. This is a chance to right your life.
Drugs are not the answer.
That's what I've been saying.
Thank God you're here, cuz I can't do it all alone.
Jesus, get out and go away. I need to talk to my brother.
- He doesn't want to talk. - Yes I do. I have a plan.
- I'm going to start... - You don't have to tell her your plan.
Steve, I would prefer to forgo your input
and that most recently resulted in my brother becoming fat,
unemployed, and growing that superbly antisocial beard.
- Do not talk to him like that. - No, it's okay.
You know what, Terri? I am going to get out of your way,
you can direct that rage where it really belongs,
at your grieving family.
He doesn't understand what's going on.
The decisions that you make now
could secure a real future.
You don't think I know that?
I'm sorry. I guess I just got blindsided yesterday.
It blew me away, too. I didn't want the headache, but then I thought
all of this is part of something amazing.
Life stuff, renewal, rebuilding.
Yes, exactly.
I mean, this chrysalis has served us
as we developed from pupae to adult,
and now it has to be shed and eaten.
What are we talking about?
I really want to utilize this capital
to right some major wrongs,
educate some mysteries, set some ideas free.
Well, why don't I find a way to manage my finances
so I can support you in eight months
after you've pissed away what it took Dad a lifetime to make.
I hear where you're coming from,
but it's just money. It doesn't mean Dad loved me more than you.
What? It doesn't mean Dad loved me more than you.
He didn't...
love you more.
You were the squeaky wheel,
so you got all the oil.
And if I were you,
I wouldn't rush off to go change the world quite yet.
Hello...
Anybody?
I'm going to go now.
Ben?
Yeah, I'm up here.
Look at you.
Master of all that you survey. Yeah.
You know, I wouldn't go if I didn't have this job thing.
I'll be back out next weekend, I promise.
Plus, you can always call.
Oh, I'll call. I'll call as soon as I get that big fat check for you.
Hey, you know, I didn't think you were really going to do that.
Hey, buddy?
I love you.
Take a shower, okay?
Wait, so you're just going to leave?
Yeah, I got to get going.
It was really great to see you, and thanks for the pie.
That was for dinner.
I'll be eating dinner.
No, for everyone.
You're not as giving as I thought you were.
I don't want the pie back. I just...
Well, I guess you know Ben better than I do.
Is he going to be okay here by himself?
By himself?
What, now you're going to leave?
I mean, with that poor kid up there? So he's not okay.
He's right as rain.
I mean, his father just died,
he's got a drug problem,
probably some kind of manic-depressive disorder,
and honestly, he wasn't that well screwed together to begin with,
but he's an adult, and I have to go back
to do the 4:30 weather.
And although you're under no obligation
would it be so bad to take another two or three weeks
before you do whatever bullshit you have to do?
You mean teaching disabled kids?
Oh, now they're disabled.
Do you have any actual plans?
I guess I could take my time moving out. Great.
You get a week,
and I'm not adopting him.
Perfect. I'm going to leave you my number...
in case you have to get in touch.
Because, you know, I'm on TV.
Yeah, actually Sam bragged about you once.
I think he liked you, but he couldn't really express it.
Yeah, it always came out as "moron-troublemaker."
He hated the Irish, too.
People forget that.
Okay, now will you let me know if I run over a chicken,
'cause the pie is all I can eat right now.
How long does he stay up there?
Let me know.
Hey. Hey.
How are you holding up?
I don't know.
It's all temporary, right?
Angela, you knew when you decided
to get involved with a man so much older
it wasn't for life.
You are so sentimental.
Okay, all's I'm saying
is that you had that experience.
Now don't be afraid to be with a man your age.
You got a whole time ahead.
Ben asked me to put these up.
I have some. They upset people.
Hey, Mom. Sam Stallsworth is outside.
You're going to have to negotiate the lettuce with him.
Now listen, I've got to go.
I might need my hands.
Okay.
Hello, Terri. Good morning, sunshine.
It's hard, huh...
without him?
Yeah, try to keep busy.
Uh, about Ben.
Oh, God, don't stick your nose in that, too.
I'm living with him, Terri.
Nobody asked you to. In fact, I'm surprised you didn't blow out of town
on the next guy who came through.
Oh, Jesus. That tongue.
I think you just spoiled all the vegetables in here.
You know, you came into my family very recently,
and you started telling everybody what to do,
which was nothing.
Do nothing. That is not true.
You convinced my father to let a thriving business go to seed.
"These are the good years.
"Life is for living."
I mean, Christ, a man his age
throwing himself at yoga and guitar lessons?
You don't believe in growing!
You don't grow!
You're a tumbleweed
who blows around whenever the wind changes.
Shit, I swore I wouldn't engage.
L got to go-
You know, people hide in charity.
Once in a while, assume other people are as good as you.
Not worse.
They're not.
How was the vacation?
It wasn't a vacation.
Oh, did you get your eyes done?
Delia got some fan mail, you know. ls that right?
A hundred bucks says Delia's fan mail
came from a member of the cafeteria staff.
Corporate thinks each piece of mail
represents 1000 viewers.
What, did she do a really good job?
Hey, what was with you wrestling that bum the other day?
Nicely done. So did you know him or something?
You know how it is, you buy someone a cup of coffee
and suddenly they're your best friend.
Do I need my eyes done?
30 seconds. It would be illegal to make them any bluer.
See, that's what I think.
Spinach check.
You have no whitening trays.
Now I really can't stay.
God, it must be tough having to win the viewers over
one at a time like this.
You know, while you were off getting your eyes done over the weekend,
Paul flew me to Martha's Vineyard to show me this house
and it wasn't one of those stupid Cape Cod houses the tourists love.
This was a year-round home
where you could really be a part of the island.
Paul understands the limitations of our job
and let's face it,
it's a short window,
and it's not really based on skill.
Yeah, I know that.
Lucky for me, my finances
have kind of been taking care of themselves.
Sandwich guy told me you nailed the baseball pool.
No, really, I'm coming into a little piece of property
up in Lancaster myself.
I'll probably unload it.
Brian Williams has a place up there.
I don't think so.
Thanks for the ride.
Which is why I'm sick and tired of the bullshit.
Excuse me, sorry.
I was just passing through.
Sit, please. Join us.
Everybody, this is Angela...
my stepmother.
Didn't we meet at the plastic bag rally?
Your skin is so white.
I think we should listen now.
If we create a nonprofit society,
we can reap the tax benefits
of said society.
It is going to be a beginning
and an ending of life as we know it
and that is why I am calling it
The Omega Society.
I hate to stick my nose into this, but...
No, everyone's voice has equal merit.
The Omega Society sounds like the Omega Institute.
It's a holistic organization,
environmentalism, spiritual rebirth.
It's total synchronicity is what it is.
Not only is it the perfect name for our society,
but it already exists.
I think there's an Omega Society, too,
so I don't think legally we can...
Justin, it's not about what is legal.
I grew up out here.
There are Amish people on three sides of this farm.
They don't vote. They don't join the Army.
They don't send their children to our schools.
When you live off the land,
and you're honest,
things fall into place.
You are a beacon to that Babylon out there.
My cousin lives in Oregon.
Ben's right.
So I've never seen you at the Marriott before.
Oh, I really shouldn't.
You just going to go home and stare at an empty dog bed?
Chester doesn't get home from the hospital
till tomorrow, right?
His name is Clarence.
He got out of the hospital today,
and my mom is watching him.
But you sure are a good listener.
So are you,
and a very beautiful one actually.
I think Clarence needs me.
Seriously, I'm really fast.
Did you give my number to someone?
I don't even have your... Shh, one second.
Hello?
I really didn't mean to bother you.
Ben's fine, but we just got this registered letter.
Terri is challenging the will.
Why? I mean, I know why,
but under what grounds?
Well, it's Ben's competency.
There's going to be a hearing, and he has to see a psychiatrist.
Can you believe this?
This morning, the bank account was shut down.
It's a classic obstacle to a pioneer.
It's like Galileo or Che, or Jesus.
Every great move has a counter move.
But let me tell you, my sister's greed
is not going to stop the evolution of mind and body
that's going on out here.
No, no, no, look. You need to calm down.
- Just get a lawyer. - A law...
You think I'm crazy now?
Go see the shrink.
It's like giving them the money if you don't go.
I could be my own lawyer you know.
There you go.
I could prepare a brief, one of those 600-page obstructionist babies.
They don't know who they're fucking with.
Hey, are you still there?
Yes, any other fires to put out?
It is just getting more and more intense,
and there are a lot of other people involved now.
Like you and me?
No, I mean, there are these hippie kids now
and the store, and now this court thing.
He just seems very agitated.
And I mean, I've been trying to deal with it, but...
I'm just glad I could call you.
You can always call me.
I'm leaving. Maybe you should...
Oh, my God. ls there someone there?
No, I'm alone.
Now.
I'm sorry. It's fine.
You're just doing your job.
My job, actually.
Well, I don't really know him.
He's Ben. He's a blast most of the time.
But you didn't know his mother.
He inherited some things that weren't in the will.
Yeah, Sam mentioned that.
Probably nothing like the free love, whole foods thing you grew up in.
My father was an actuary for The Hartford insurance company.
He died at his desk. I was still at Andover.
Huh. Like say about Sam's age?
What? So you must be loaded?
Is he going to be okay or not?
This is the way it usually goes.
The best thing to do is keep feeding him.
Food is nature's Vicodin.
That's good, too, by the way, if you have it.
You should finally be getting some rain up that way, you know?
Mm, I'm not too sure about that.
Well...
goodnight.
Yeah, goodnight to you, too.
Woo!
Wooooo!
Woo!
Wooooo!
Ben?
Is he ready?
Ben, Terri's here.
I can't believe you're doing this.
Yeah, well I can't believe you're still here.
Ben?
Benji. We're going to the doctor, okay?
There isn't anything to be...
Ben?
Great.
Why aren't you inside?
Greetings.
Sorry to keep bothering you like that.
I don't think getting a glass of water
is the biggest inconvenience for these people right now.
I was just explaining my admiration
for these people.
They live off the land in kindness.
They don't believe in war or pollution.
I'll tell you. One day, when there's no earth left, because we used it up,
there will be 10 square miles of Lancaster County where God still exists.
Why are you naked?
I didn't want that chemical smell on me anymore.
That smell is not chemicals.
It's B.O. because you have stopped showering
and you ruined everything I bought you at The Gap,
which you loved. I don't anymore.
We are going.
This entire incident is inappropriate
and probably illegal, and if I were Mr. Yoder,
I would make you pay for the fact that I missed two hours of farmwork
so I could ride into town on a buggy
to get a cop out here.
You're wrong. We're having a conversation!
I don't want to speak out of turn here,
but Felty and Sarah are not being hospitable.
They're pacifists, and this is how they respond
to being held hostage.
Gosh, I'm...
I-I never meant to... I didn't...
Ben, I think you can keep the apron.
Let's go.
Yes, the best way to get the soda out of the bottle
is to shake it and shake it and shake it.
You need a ride?
Yes.
Next time, go over to the highway
and get Anderson to ring the fire bell for you.
I will. I apologize.
I might have been in a bit of a panic.
I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Yoder.
I am sorry to hear about your father.
Thank you very much.
We all miss him, obviously.
He was lucky to have a long life.
Such a caring daughter.
All he cared about was his family.
Surely there's no other reason for being on this Earth.
What would you do if you couldn't have children?
I would pray to God to send them to me.
What if you don't believe in God?
Maybe that's why you can't have children.
Honestly, Ben, you really fucked me here.
My independence of mind is obviously a threat to them.
Them? Society.
With all their poison.
I'm not putting it in my body.
And I respect that deep-fried temple that you built,
but you have to stop running naked.
I know. I panicked.
Even the most committed messenger has a moment of doubt.
Keep that word "committed" in mind.
Next time. Oh, you mean in the courtroom?
Because that's where we're heading,
and they might not stop with the money.
They can force you to take the medicine,
and they can lock you up.
We're studying in here.
Anyone hungry?
Not really.
L got to go-
Be", you okay?
I don't know. I'm feeling a little stressed out.
I'm stressed out. You're crazy.
Let's use the word freely as if it gives us power.
Goodnight.
I see you've been arrested a few times.
Public outbursts, indecency.
A misdemeanor related to your profession
which you listed here as "small farmer."
I also see that you've never considered medication.
Anti-depressants?
They have been suggested,
as they have been to most of America.
Well, I was thinking more like a mood stabilizer,
which for most is a very effective therapeutic solution.
No need to resist the magic of lithium, I know.
We should sprinkle its salty goodness over the fries at McDonald's
until we're "Dawn of the Dead" drooling towards Banana Republic,
pushing our carts dazed through the market,
throwing the meat in,
black blood pooling under so much plastic.
That's an interesting image.
Which I wouldn't have if I was zonked on that shit.
I wouldn't feel this hum I've got going.
Clear, sharp, and purposeful,
like every ion in my body is vibrating with genius.
Marijuana is a chemical.
It's green and from the Earth.
But it's a drug,
a way of dealing with your symptoms.
Like the drug you get when you go into a restaurant
or come home after work,
or offer a stranger the moment they come into your house.
Our whole social system is built around some drug.
Most cultures made beer before they had an alphabet.
I'm going to ask you some questions,
and you can just tell me yes or no, okay?
Do you experience sensations of things that are not there?
Do you hear voices?
Are you afraid right now?
There are times that are wonderful,
and there are times that are horrible.
And the wonderful thing is right now, I feel alive.
But the terrible thing is that you're not asking me
how I feel about my father dying.
Oh, well I was going...
I feel alone in the universe,
except for Steve.
So why do you think you're here?
Because I won the lottery.
Everybody's got their hand out.
Now action back lo Barry with his suited ace.
80,000 to call to see a flop here.
And he will have position after.
Yes, yes, you'll clean up later.
No... motherfucking goddamn dammit!
Look at it. It's huge.
Leaves and acorns everywhere.
You got to get rid of it.
The building is called The Oaks.
It's the only one left.
It's just a tree.
It blocks all the natural light,
Plus, it decreases the value of my unit.
I can circulate a petition if you want,
but you know everybody feels the same,
and you got to be sick of cleaning up all this crap.
I'll see what I can do.
Great, that's all I can ask.
Oh, and Steve...
thanks for the Oriole tickets.
Freebies, Arman. Don't be impressed.
I happen to be in charge here.
Stop asking me where the debate is,
because I'm not going.
Ben? We all agreed on the starting place,
and that's where it's going to be.
and it's not about whose got the most...
Ben, who's in there with you?
Hey.
Were you on the phone?
No.
My diagnosis, as I wrote,
is classic bipolar disorder.
Euphoric with schizoid tendencies.
See? I told you.
So in your assessment, Dr. Vincent,
you see Mr. Baker as being incapable
of understanding any consequences
for his actions.
Yes.
That is all we have to say, Your Honor.
Uh, Mr. Baker...
have you been having difficulty
distinguishing between real and unreal?
My whole life.
This is a very serious diagnosis.
Would you describe him as a danger to himself or to other people?
Actually, I would say no.
Not at this moment.
It is, of course, completely possible.
Well, I'm prepared to rule on this.
Mr. Baker, Ms. Coulter,
I have to agree with Dr. Vincent's finding
that Mr. Baker is... I'm sorry to talk about you as though you weren't here,
but this 11-page handwritten brief
didn't help, son.
He is seriously mentally troubled.
And he's likely to behave with this money
in a extremely irresponsible manner.
But hopefully, he won't,
because as long as he's not a threat to himself or other people,
he can go out and buy the world's largest hat, if he wants to.
Your Honor, you don't understand.
Look, your father could have left his money to his dog.
The law is crystal clear.
If the government gets their piece,
the mandates of the deceased are to be observed.
Ben, I'm just looking out for you, I swear.
No, I'm looking out for you.
Every time I think you're crazy
along comes the justice system.
Woo!
Is this great or what?
Yeah, Glenlivet scotch in a shit hole like this?
I'm buying everything.
Bartender, drinks on the house!
My man! Yeah!
I am not buying everybody a drink.
No, I think he means drinks are on him.
What did I say?
Hey, my mom... my mom just gave me the message.
Congratulations. Oh, thanks. It means so much.
I don't know if you've ever met my friend, Steve Dallas.
Steve, this is Zed Starkevitch. Hi.
He's kind of the chief administrator of the whole Omega Society.
I guess we should be saying congratulations to you.
Can we get another beer?
To transforming society from within.
To being a tapeworm
gnawing on its intestines,
sucking and feeding on the bile and waste,
growing stronger every minute.
Okay, I'm going to let you two celebrate.
Zed, can your mom take you and Ben home?
My mom's blind.
I'm bottling this moment.
You done celebrating?
You got to come out here.
You got to see this.
Where's Ben? Still hanging out.
Look at all these stars.
Have you seen this?
Yeah.
Yeah, I have.
H's pretty great.
Can you dance?
You can't handle it.
Come over here.
What is this?
What are you talking about?
Don't mess with me.
This. This place and you.
You, your face.
I don't know what to say.
Because you like me.
What?
Kiss me again or slap me or something,
but you got to stop looking at me all beautiful like that,
or you're going to get more of this.
So you'd like more?
I don't know.
I don't know who you are.
I know it's horrible.
But this is really it.
This is who I am.
There's some good in it, I promise.
I have hobbies and stuff.
I always pick up the check.
You're stoned.
You're always stoned.
Actually, I'm drunk right now,
but again, that's part of who I am.
My personal ad? "Loves to have a good time."
That's what I mean.
I eat life out of the big box.
I'm not hiding out here in the sticks
or wherever it is you're going to next.
Doesn't it seem strange
that someone who eats life like you do,
who has it all, is trying to escape it?
I like you.
I bet you haven't had an interaction with anyone
in the last ten years that wasn't warped somehow.
My guess is you got some kind of freefall going on in there,
but you hide it all under this veil of charm
that people prefer to real interaction.
I don't.
You think I'm charming?
Just to be clear,
if I'm sober, you're interested?
Goodnight.
People treat the environment like it's a big toilet.
They can dump everything they don't want, and flush it down,
and they're never going to see it again.
Who the hell do you think you are?
Excuse me?
People get a little bit of money,
all of a sudden, they think everything they say is true.
You're still a big fat nothing.
What?
You're just a crazy jackoff
making bullshit plans that will never amount
to anything, because that's what you are.
Nothing.
Holy shit!
Who are you?
Who do you think you are?
Huh?
Jesus Christ.
Ben, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Did you hear what he said to me?
I just ordered a beer.
Ben, I heard him, man. That's all he said.
You're fucking crazy, man.
So you talk to the doctor and I'll talk to Slochum.
He's okay?
Yeah, couple of stitches.
Well, tell him I'm really sorry.
Solomon, why don't you have a seat while your dad and I have a word?
Ben, I'll be with you in a minute.
Let me get some coffee. I'll run you home after.
Hey.
Hi.
You ever read this shit?
I mean, every issue is exactly the same.
I guess.
I mean, look at this.
Why do you need a toothbrush on a desert island?
Why are you here?
Because I talk to God.
Oh, really?
Why are you here?
Me? I don't know.
They want me to take some medication,
be like everybody else.
Solomon, we'll see you again on Thursday, okay?
Ben, shall we?
God wants you to take your medicine.
Seat belt.
He's still asleep.
It's incredible that a woman with such a great hangover cure
would be against drinking.
I'm not against drinking.
Do you remember Sam at all?
Have you talked to Terri?
She doesn't know what to do.
She's just going to wait until it doesn't look so bad,
which means it's over.
I think even Ben knows that.
Well, I guess you could come back to the city with me,
and I know what you're going to say about cities,
but it's Annapolis, not really even a city.
But why would I go with you?
What about dinner? Can I stay?
Can we think that far ahead?
What about your job?
I can't face doing the weather
in this completely unadulterated, unpolluted state.
Plus, every time I leave here, something terrible happens.
He's a grown man.
I mean, it's admirable, but...
I don't think the issues of his life are your problem.
My problem? You just spent
the last five years taking care of Methuselah.
We were married.
See, nobody believes in friendship.
People talk about it. You see it on TV.
People drop by and then go to the doctor together.
No one eats alone.
But most people are alone.
That's the thing about friendship.
It's a lot rarer than love.
Because there's nothing in it for anybody.
They're just two forms of the same thing.
Don't you want me to stay for dinner?
I'll let you cook.
Just go easy on the sherry.
Remember our agreement.
We don't have an agreement.
Do you like chicken?
Like? Try love.
Go get one.
You want me to kill someone at the store for it?
Are you kidding?
Come on, take it.
You want to be here? Be here.
It's like picking out a lobster.
Goddammit.
Shit.
It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's... it's all right.
It's going to be okay.
Who am I kidding?
Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, fuck.
Shit.
Jesus...
Dinner.
Is that him?
Her.
Smells pretty good.
Hey, everybody.
I feel like we should say grace or something.
Steve?
Fine, fine, I killed the chicken.
Am I supposed to feel bad about that?
People do it every day.
No, they really don't.
Well, then how am I supposed to feel?
I don't know.
Grateful, maybe?
Oh...
Right.
Um...
Thank you, God, and this chicken,
of course, who made the ultimate sacrifice
in harm's way.
Uh, amen.
Great, let's eat.
Would you?
I thought I was going to have a problem with this,
but damn, that's a juicy bird.
It does smell really good.
You want some?
Yeah, I think I do.
Ben?
Okay, you got my phone number.
Oh...
Here, take it. It's my last one.
I'm going to lay off for a while.
What am I going to do with one joint?
Better try and get by, but when I come back,
I'm bringing you the biggest bag of dope you've ever seen.
I don't think so. Okay, maybe you've seen a bigger one.
But I'm bringing a lot.
Do what you want. I don't know where I'll be.
That's kind of ominous.
And because of its non sequitur nature,
I'm going to take that as a yes on the weed.
Why don't you take all of this as clarity?
You don't have to come back, okay?
Suddenly you're going to get your own weed?
Look, I'm done. That's it. It's over.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about, we took this ski lift to the top of the mountain.
We got off. You're going one way, and I'm going the other.
There's only one way to go, down.
You can't get on the lift without me.
In fact, you can't even ski.
I can ski. When have you been skiing?
You told that girl you could ski and I backed you up on it,
but you'd never been skiing.
Then you told her you'd never been skiing,
and you sold me out, remember?
Forget about skiing. You're talking stupid shit.
I need you to take this seriously for once.
Take something seriously!
Oh, I get it.
You're strong. All has been revealed.
I'm just saying this is my problem,
and you're exacerbating it.
You are truly batshit.
I'm sure it's scary to take fixing me off your list of things to do,
because all that's left is fixing you.
Oh, wow.
Thank you for that.
Yeah, 'cause I'm the selfish one here.
There's no chance you're the asshole.
Look, you don't know me, and you don't owe me, okay?
Well, if you feel the need to punch me in the balls knock yourself out.
I'll try to clear my schedule for the next time the clarity wears off.
Are you going?
Yeah, I got to get back.
Oh.
I got the job, you know.
No, of course.
You don't want to walk me to the car?
Well, if you're leaving, you're leaving.
I mean, I can call you or something.
Well, do you not want me to go?
Well, it's not going to be easy here.
And not because I'm pining for you.
I mean, you know I'm not going to leave.
You're counting on it, so really, you're just using me.
And throw in the fact that...
maybe I do have feelings.
Oh, God, so do I.
No... half a day sobriety isn't going to open that door.
Oh, you can still walk me outside, you know.
No funny business, I promise.
You should go.
I'll stay here until I feel okay about going.
So you can feel okay about going.
Now, about this tropical depression
brewing off the Florida Keys,
it's too early to tell if this Gulf air will hold
and create hurricane conditions.
So Victoria, we will keep an eye on that.
Thank you, Steve.
We certainly will.
State officials announced today...
Dallas? Steve Dallas?
Yes, mein fuhrer. ..
You know, for a second out there,
I thought you were sober.
Then I realized you're probably on some drug I've never even heard of.
Look at this shit.
Why don't they get us tubes, like astronauts?
I don't know. The sandwiches are pretty good.
Chicken baloney?
Do you have any idea where that even comes from?
Yeah, a chicken.
It's a lot harder than that.
I didn't know you painted.
I don't really.
But somehow, tracing these lines
is really going to help me remember this place.
'Cause let's face it, the next time I come back
it probably won't be here.
Thanks for cheering me up.
Try it.
I really screwed up.
It wasn't in your control.
Gauguin packed up as far from this craphole as possible.
The world wasn't even one tenth as polluted as it is now.
You feel like packing up?
No.
I don't even feel that.
I just feel like...
it's a pretty nice day, and...
I hate myself for being the guy who only has that to say.
Need another club soda, Mr. Dallas?
Does anyone ever need another club soda?
What's going on here?
Oh, a real estate seminar.
Lot of ladies trying to change their lives.
Is it good?
It's filled with bizarre details and super weird bullshit.
You've never read anything you liked that was like that?
It was not me.
Actually, it was me.
That's what makes it so depressing. Now it's just this.
Unfinished, unfocused, unrelenting.
I'm a guy in a desert that's running towards a mirage.
I'm still really thirsty, and my mouth is full of sand.
Write that down.
I don't think it's mine.
It's going to take time.
I just wish it was some crippling depression
instead of this disappointment.
How do you all live here without looking
for a high place to jump from?
I can't sell you on life.
Because there's nothing to it.
Nothing at all.
Life doesn't stand up to thinking.
Smell the air out there.
There are wonders.
All I feel is time passing.
And it's overwhelming.
I wasted so much.
I gobbled it all down
without even tasting it.
So start over.
Just like that.
I'm sorry. I'm going to give it ten more minutes if that's okay.
That's decaf, right?
Sorry I'm late.
Oh, my God. You shaved.
What can I say? You know how erratic I am.
What did you want to talk to me about, Ben?
Actually, I wanted to thank you.
I didn't wait 40 minutes for you to show up so we could have a fight. Terri, I mean it.
I can't help but think that... even through all this,
that what Dad wanted was for us to deal with all this together.
I'm sorry, but I know you're only one sentence away
from telling me you want to turn the store
into an 1850's laundromat
that runs on whale oil or something.
Except God forbid anybody hurt a whale.
No.
I have become acutely aware
of my limitations.
And I guess what I'm saying is
is that whatever you have in mind
I'm okay with it.
Excuse me?
Are you wearing a wire?
I'm serious.
Well, I've been tossing around the idea
of converting the store into something more modern.
And profitable? Is that a sin?
No, that's good. That's what I wanted to hear.
Because I have some plans for the farm.
What, give it to Angela? Perfect.
You don't even know her.
Yeah, I know she has some freaky power over all the men in my family.
And that probably comes from under her sundress.
Terri, I'm asking you please.
Don't talk about her like that.
Okay...
Okay.
It's a million dollars of undeveloped land.
And that's why I want to have a say about what happens to it.
And you get lunch.
Look, whatever it takes.
I just don't want it to be like this anymore.
You look just like Dad.
Okay, we feed in 15 seconds.
Come on, people.
I don't have a fucking image.
All right, this is a newsroom.
Can I get some people walking back and forth please?
And let's clean up this... oh, forget it.
Three, two...
As promised, we're continuing to track this storm
now from the National Weather Service
known officially as Hurricane Gordon
about to make landfall just south of Charleston here.
Expect 85 mile-per-hour winds
and flooding.
Two to three inches per hour.
Now you folks in the area,
whether the government makes you or not,
just get yourselves out of there.
Your lives are a hell of a lot more important than your houses.
This is Steve Dallas in the Channel 18 Storm Center.
Stay dry and stay safe.
And we're out.
Nicely done, yes!
I loved that bit about the people down in Charleston.
Our local old ladies are going to cream.
From what Delia tells me,
this is a hell of a storm. Those people needed to be warned.
Yeah, well those people lost power six hours ago.
They're not watching TV.
Jesus, really?
So why the hell are we doing this?
Local people are interested.
They might run us national
unless those douchebags in Baltimore snake us again.
I don't want to bother you.
Oh, I'm just going through some of your dad's stuff.
I probably should have buried him in his madras shorts.
Would have felt more like a vacation.
I talked to Terri like you suggested.
It wasn't bad, right?
It was great.
And um...
the other night, too.
That really happened, didn't it?
Yes.
Yes, it did.
I can't tell you how much that meant.
Well, someone had to welcome you back to the world.
How did you end up with my dad?
Uh... I guess it was all this.
It's hard to resist the temptation to step into a normal life.
I know you told my dad you didn't want anything.
Yeah, I said that.
And I really meant it, but...
you think he would just give me like one little thing.
Anything, just for sentimental reasons,
a gesture.
Well, you deserve whatever you want.
I keep trying to find a way...
No, no, no. Not from you.
I mean, it's sweet. Thank you, but...
it's not the same.
I thought since, you know, you didn't know what you were going to do
that you could talk to Steve about the farm and the house.
I'm sure he doesn't know what he's going to do either.
What do you mean?
I'm giving this all to Dallas.
What?
I promised it to him after the will.
Huh.
I didn't know that.
It's an odd marriage, but I kind of owed it to him.
Why, did you want it? No, mm-mm.
Are you okay?
Sure. You?
Yeah, Terri's going to help me find a smaller place.
I'll never forget how you held this family together.
It's me. I hope I'm using this right.
It keeps asking me to press star,
which I don't think we have on this phone.
Oh, there it is.
Uh, listen man...
Listen, man, I know we haven't talked.
I'm just going to say it.
I miss you, and I've been thinking about things
and I want to make good on things.
And I know Angela miss...
Okay, now I've got to talk fast, because if I stop talking
the thing will cut me off.
Come down if you're ever free
and I'm good, bye.
Hello?
Morning, slugger. Four reports in six hours.
Station manager's wet dream.
You got two hours to get cleaned up for your 12:30.
That's it. I'm done.
What? I think it's time you find a new entertainment reporter,
someone who's comfortable with...
what a waste of time this is,
someone who isn't aware of the fact that
any six year old can stick their arm out the window
and tell you what it's going to be like today.
Dave, I would like to introduce you
to Delia, an actual meteorologist
and yeah, she doesn't look like Miss America.
She looks like someone who went to MIT,
because she did.
Can't you ever just make it easy?
Do you have to suck the good out of everything?
Good luck, sweetheart.
He kissed me.
Amish Farms Superstore?
Yes, but without the question mark.
If you believed in anything,
you would realize this is why people go to hell.
Have you talked to Ben?
Ben agreed to this?
Underground parking?
Honestly, we spoke,
in rational means as a family
and this was the decision that we made.
And luckily for the both of us
you're not part of the family.
No, no, congratulations. You won.
And I don't mean the battle over the will.
I mean for biggest twat of the year.
Boy, you really don't know how to talk to a woman
you're not trying to screw.
Ben and I reconciled,
and your opposition to that makes me feel
like you just don't want to be alone
in whatever weed-powered dance
you two have shared for the last 25 years.
I want him to get better.
Then for once, leave him be.
He is going to have a lifetime of prosperity.
And I'm sure he and Angela will be very happy.
What?
Maybe it's sick, but those two found each other.
I know it sounds weird, but I actually believe
that my brother and my stepmother
belong together.
Wait, they're together? Says who?
Oh, Steve, they are.
Sorry, you're going to have to find someone else
who's in worse shape than you now.
Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself, too.
Beard. Yeah.
You like it? ls Angela here?
I don't know if you got my messages.
I wanted you to come so I could tell you the great news
that the farm is yours
to do whatever you want with. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Angela around?
Now, don't be mad,
but Terri's going to get the store.
- It's just the best way to go. - That is great, great news.
Do you know where Angela is?
Are you okay?
I think she's upstairs.
Upstairs where you were just screwing her?
What are you talking about? I don't know if you were just screwing her.
That's a weird thing to say.
Really? Because it is sick.
If it isn't Amish country's own Mary Magdalene.
Did you wash his feet first
or just pull him down off the cross and bone him?
Hold on. Calm down. What?
You're being very... No, stay out of this.
I'm warning you, Ben. Stay out of this.
Why are you angry?
Because you fucked my friend.
Who told you that? Everybody knows.
That's none of your business.
I guess nothing was none of my business.
I never promised you anything.
You got the farm. Isn't that what you wanted?
Stop it! I'm not going to have the two people I care about most in the world fight like this.
You got it all wrong. Now cool it.
Fine, fine.
What happened?
Oh, God. This is so bad.
You assholes, both of you. Such assholes.
You don't care about anything. Jesus, you know what she means to me.
It's not what you think.
L-I didn't know, but it doesn't change anything, I swear.
The hell it doesn't!
I thought I meant something to you.
Because I thought you were helping a sick friend,
not making a real estate deal.
What? I was!
But aren't I entitled to something?
Yes!
You don't know where I have been,
the shit I have done to deserve you.
I talked to Terri...
and it's yours to do whatever you want with it.
And... don't know what to say except...
I hope you take a look at yourself...
and realize how much is there.
Steve...
you got to get your shit together.
I hope one day you find out what you really care about.
I hope one day you learn to solve a problem
without sleeping with it.
What happened between me and Ben had nothing to do with you
or my feelings for you.
Oh, come on. You sell all this nature shit
and honesty and feelings,
when you're just this empty little girl with no responsibilities
who gets anything and everybody she wants
because she's so goddamn pretty.
And believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
I do the weather on TV.
You got a week to get off my land.
I got that.
Thanks.
You're the new guy?
Pulled all the strings and got a south unit?
Sorry.
I'm Natalie.
That's Connor.
Ben.
Buenos dias.
You wanted to see me? Wanted to see you?
I was calling you...
What is that?
Last one in the case.
You're out of luck.
Ah, hell.
I must have called you 100 times.
You never answered. I just thought you wanted to fire Delia.
And obviously, I was right.
Interesting thing about Delia.
I ran it by corporate,
and if she promises to get a boob job,
which she's on board with,
she can do the weather.
Why did you want to see me?
With Victoria getting married...
God, I never thought that was going to happen.
With Victoria getting married,
there's an opening on the anchor desk.
Now as much as I prefer someone who shows up,
after the last Storm Watch
and then you disappearing like that,
we received, like, 7000 letters
expressing their concern for you
and a wish to see you again.
You mean seven letters.
The point is
we have an opening
if you want it. The big seat.
Plus, now we've got this totally stacked chick
next to you doing the weather,
and you'll never want for money.
God, I'm just wondering
what it would take to get fired around here.
Is this your coffee or mine,
because I have to drive home.
They're all my coffee.
Overpaid prick.
Five seconds.
Good afternoon, Annapolis.
Federal investigators responding...
You missed my shower.
Sorry, I got hit by a pile of money.
Any lots available near you on Martha's Vineyard?
Don't you want me to be happy?
Not sure I want that for anybody.
I'm going to miss fucking you.
I used to think there was more,
but there isn't.
One new message.
Hi, this is Beverly
confirming your date for the night.
Her name is Carla, and she's a petite redhead.
That is, the good redhead.
Think Nicole Kidman, not Howdy-Doody.
Just so you know, she has a lot of regulars.
Hey.
You get my letter?
Letter? I got a FedEx full of weed.
Subtle.
Want some salmon?
I thought salmon was for assholes.
Everything else had so much mercury.
I drove 2 1/2 hours...
and I ended up back in my own apartment.
Except I don't have the view.
Me either.
They cut the tree down.
Good for you.
How was she?
Wasn't worth a tree.
You going to open the wine?
You can have some.
There's a glass in the...
Oh, Jesus.
Don't be so proud of yourself.
You know like less than 10% of the people
who even take the shit you're on
ever stay on it.
I defer to your drug expertise.
Why did you fall in love with her and ruin everything for me?
I didn't fall in love with her.
That's worse.
You ruined everything.
No, you ruined everything!
First of all, I'm not in love with her,
and I never was.
But you slept with her anyway?
Why would you do that?
Okay, let's say I understand that.
But you don't.
She helped me.
Let me feel something again.
So she makes me stop getting high,
but you get sex.
What a shitty, shitty deal.
And for what?
For this?
What happened to you?
I am still me.
Bullshit. You're Ben lite.
I'm Ben prime. I'm still the same guy from sixth grade.
No.
Ben, you're a million miles away from that kid
I swear.
This isn't bad.
I'm just functioning now like everyone else.
So this is it?
Well, maybe that's what's wrong with the world.
We keep looking and grabbing
and eating and smoking
and never stop to think.
Who could want more than this?
You're here.
That's all that matters.
Hey, there. Hi.
I know. It's a lot of junk.
But I'm a really good mother.
Hey. I'm sorry.
I was going to leave in the morning.
Well, I...
What?
You know anything about running a farm?
More than you.
Come inside.
No.
Why are we here?
We're waiting for the rain to stop.
Can I ride it?
Could you?
Hey.
Um, Mom said Wednesday.
I don't know why she said Wednesday.