1
00:00:02,302 --> 00:00:05,637
[ Rustling ]
2
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:08,374
[ Woman ]
Get your binoculars out.
3
00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:10,376
Okay, keep looking.
Keep looking.
4
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,311
See if you see it.
5
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:30,696
[ Woman ]
Up in there.
Do you see it?
6
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,631
Look again.
7
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:42,207
It's right up
on that branch.
Right there.
8
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:44,109
Let me see if I can
get it on the camera.
9
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,711
[ Man ]
♪ If Our Eyes Could ♪
10
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:49,448
♪ We Never Needed Words ♪
11
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,821
♪ I Built A Fire And ♪
12
00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:59,091
♪ Then Played Some Songs ♪
13
00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:01,226
♪ Until I Knew That ♪
14
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,729
Red-eyed vireo.
Red-eyed vireo.
Right there.
15
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,400
♪ [ Man Vocalizing ]
16
00:01:39,532 --> 00:01:41,467
There we go.
17
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,611
[ Man ]
Yeah, keep it simple,
stupid.
18
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:57,683
So we'll just go with
super crispy, cajun homestyle.
Let's keep everybody happy.
19
00:01:57,685 --> 00:02:00,719
I know. Totally.
[ Laughs ] totally.
20
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,621
Well, that's what she said.
She's like--
21
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:09,294
"what do you think people
are going to expect
at your wedding? Lobster?"
22
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,797
Well,
let's just talk sides
for a second.
23
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:26,178
I do not
just pay you compliments
when I want something.
24
00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:27,880
But you know what?
I do want something.
25
00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:30,415
She wants plates made
out of recycled mater--
26
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,584
[ Loud thumping,
banging ]
27
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:39,291
Steve,
I'll call you right back.
28
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:49,201
What are you doing
on the roof?
29
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,702
I'm-- I'm fine.
30
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,438
You're bleeding.
31
00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:56,241
Shit.
32
00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:03,448
That's a nice perk,
having a nurse in the house.
33
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:07,853
It's a clean scratch.
It will heal in no time.
34
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:11,590
Okay, so we'll get the gutter
fixed by sunday,
which is not a big deal.
35
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,659
I know a guy.
36
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:17,329
But can we all agree
on the "no bird-watching
on the roof" rule? Hmm?
37
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:22,668
Anyway, I don't think
it's unreasonable to not
want to see you get killed.
38
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,504
Hey, steve,
thanks for calling back.
39
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:28,640
How's the toast
coming along?
Oh, he's fine. He's fine.
40
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,777
Don't I just say,
"here's to dad and juliana"?
41
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,979
Yeah.
42
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:36,748
But typically the best man
will say a little more
about the couple.
43
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,418
Tell a story,
crack a few jokes...
44
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,520
And embarrass
your old man
a little.
45
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,656
Yeah, I-i was thinking miguel
would do the whole speech thing.
46
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,725
Okay, so,
47
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,861
defend these with your life,
and I mean that.
48
00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:55,601
You know what?
Actually this is a disaster
waiting to happen.
49
00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:58,537
I can give it to you
on the-- on the big day.
50
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:01,740
The toast? Don't worry.
It doesn't have to be
anything big.
51
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,942
Oh, god. Juliana.
52
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:06,345
I gotta go.
53
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,513
I have to go.
See you, dad.
54
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:14,253
What?
I flashed him.
55
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,256
[ Laughs ]
56
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:23,428
I mean, you've talked to him
about all this, right?
57
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:25,697
Yeah.
58
00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:30,736
♪ [ ROCK: Guitar ]
59
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,283
♪ What Gives This Mess
Some grace ♪
60
00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:48,020
♪ Unless It's Kicks, Man? ♪
61
00:04:48,022 --> 00:04:51,657
♪ Unless It's Fiction? ♪
62
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:56,962
♪ Unless It's Sweat
Or it's songs? ♪
63
00:04:56,964 --> 00:05:00,032
♪ What Hits
Against this chest ♪
64
00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:04,736
♪ Unless It's
A sick man's hand ♪
65
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:08,640
♪ From Some Mid-level Band? ♪
66
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:12,477
♪ He's Been Driving Too Long ♪
67
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:16,882
♪ On A Dark, Windless Night ♪
68
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:20,485
♪ With The Stereo On ♪
69
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:24,456
♪ With The Towns Flying By ♪
70
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:28,493
♪ And The Ground
Getting Soft ♪
71
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,663
♪ [ Continues ]
72
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:03,061
♪ [ Ends ]
73
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,836
[ Quacking ]
74
00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:26,952
[ Quacking continues ]
75
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:50,142
[ School bell ringing ]
76
00:06:50,144 --> 00:06:52,844
- so I got some news.
- what?
77
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,880
Caroline
quit YB.S.
78
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,915
Why?
I don't know.
79
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,651
Some bullshit
about the whole
"tufted titmouse" thing.
80
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,086
It's total insanity.
81
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,956
Oh, shit.
Here comes evelyn.
82
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,592
On my count,
just pretend like I said
something really funny.
83
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,495
What?
No, don't look.
Three, two, one.
84
00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:12,431
[ Laughing ]
Why aren't you laughing?
85
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:13,932
Hi!
Hey.
86
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,667
Love you.
Yeah.
87
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:19,171
Today was really
a banner day for us.
Why's that?
88
00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:23,909
Well, I thought personally our
approach to hydrochloric acid
was... Exemplary.
89
00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:28,747
So did you get
a chance to--
yes, I did. I did.
90
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:32,584
Yeah, I think I did
quite a good job.
91
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,220
Oh, boy.
[ Laughs ]
92
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,755
Thanks so much.
No problem.
Bye.
93
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:38,490
Bye.
94
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:42,127
Was that
her homework?
95
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,830
Yeah.
She totally wants me.
96
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:47,666
It's time to take this whole
"being lab partners" thing
to the next level.
97
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,901
As in the--
[ Moaning ]
98
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:54,806
Sex level.
You know what I'm saying?
[ Clicks teeth ]
99
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,008
- okay.
- you know what I'm saying?
100
00:07:57,010 --> 00:08:01,780
"Give it to me, timmy!
Timmy, I want you so bad.
I want you in my pants!"
101
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,615
[ Chattering ]
102
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,625
Shh.
103
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:26,738
Young birder's society.
All present. Mr. Secretary,
please read the minutes.
104
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,241
Hey, um, where's--
where's caroline?
105
00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:32,744
- she's no longer a member.
- why?
106
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,614
Mostly because her heart
wasn't in birding.
Is that a problem, rob?
107
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,550
Yeah, well, I-- I just
wanted to be in a club--
108
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:41,219
get out.
What?
109
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:44,155
This isn't a dating service.
Get the hell out of here.
110
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:50,562
I won't Miss this.
111
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,932
So now that
we're down to three,
112
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:56,268
I don't think we're
technically a club anymore
by school rules.
113
00:08:56,270 --> 00:09:00,906
Young birder's society,
all present. Mr. Secretary,
please read the minutes.
114
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:05,877
Thank you, Mr. Chairman.
I hereby submit the minutes from
the meeting dated 4th of march.
115
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:09,614
In new business, peter nessbaum
was awarded a golden feather
by unanimous vote...
116
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:11,883
For his sighting
of a long-tailed jaeger.
117
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:16,555
My proposition to investigate
the purchase of a hang glider
was defeated 4-1,
118
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,924
despite it being
an awesome idea.
119
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:21,159
Finally, caroline halperin
threatened to quit YB.S....
120
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:23,595
If I didn't stop calling her
tufted titmouse,
121
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:27,566
and, um...
Well, she ended up quitting.
122
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,067
Mr. Chairman.
Thank you, Mr. Barsky.
123
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,036
Mr. Chairman.
Mr. Portnoy?
124
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:34,005
I move to postpone officer
reports, committee reports
and special orders...
125
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,007
And proceed directly
to new business.
126
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,309
- all for?
- [ Timmy, david ]
Yea.
127
00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:39,044
All opposed?
Nay.
128
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,313
The motion passes
two votes to one.
Is there any new business?
129
00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:43,715
- Mr. Chairman.
- the chair recognizes
david portnoy.
130
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,717
I spotted this
on the street
this morning.
131
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,086
Got a weird feeling
about it.
Let me see.
132
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,055
It looks like
an eclipsed-plumage
white-winged scoter.
133
00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:54,759
move to mark image
as inconclusive
and carry on with the meeting.
134
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,761
Move to
find the bird again.
135
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,097
The chair
recognizes himself.
136
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,932
Mr. Portnoy, this is
not the first time...
137
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,068
You've brought something
like this to the committee.
138
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:05,670
For reference,
I cite the alleged
sun grebe last summer.
139
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:08,907
- I didn't have a picture--
- with all due respect, there's
a credibility gap here.
140
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,709
Mr. Barsky?
141
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:13,178
While I appreciate the spirit
of david's proposal--
142
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:16,348
a rare bird sighting
certainly could reverse
sinking membership.
143
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:20,719
But in my opinion I think we
should stick to more aggressive
recruitment strategies,
144
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,721
like getting a hang glider.
145
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:26,024
Thank you.
That's all, Mr. Chairman.
146
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,259
All for finding
david's duck?
Yea.
147
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:30,028
All opposed?
[ Both ]
Nay.
148
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,330
The motion is defeated
by a vote of two to one.
149
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:34,699
[ Snaps ]
150
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,104
Damn it.
151
00:10:42,241 --> 00:10:44,943
[ Dog barking ]
152
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,915
[ Dad ]
Dave?
153
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,820
Dave, is that you?
154
00:11:29,955 --> 00:11:32,123
Come up here.
155
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,240
Hey.
Hey.
156
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:52,711
So I've got everything
kinda sorted out
into three main groups.
157
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:57,348
Uh, save, throw,
charity.
158
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,951
You got something on your lip.
What's that?
Nothing.
159
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,486
Pen exploded.
160
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:07,726
Wait.
Are you kidding?
161
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,496
I thought I'd save
the good ones.
162
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,965
Mom worked really hard
for all of these.
163
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:17,335
Okay, well, yeah, you're right.
I don't know
what I was thinking.
164
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,104
Of course we'll keep that.
165
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:21,206
What's this?
166
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,108
[ Sighs ]
167
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:26,010
The blender?
168
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:28,379
You know what?
Juliana's got
a really nice blender.
169
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,982
I was thinking
we could give that one
to ted.
170
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,518
I'd rather
we gave juliana's to ted.
171
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,055
Sure.
172
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:39,124
Listen, I'll tell you what.
173
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:42,894
I have to meet
the string quartet
in, like, literally--
174
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,395
stay.
175
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,431
10 minutes.
176
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,867
So why don't you do this.
Take these,
mark what you want to keep.
177
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:51,770
The rest we'll either chuck
or give to the goodwill.
All right? Problem solved?
178
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,171
Fine.
179
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,073
Yeah?
See you.
180
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,841
Yeah.
181
00:12:59,378 --> 00:13:02,981
♪ [ Guitar ]
182
00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:14,092
[ Man ]
♪ They Say I Should
Pack it all in ♪
183
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:19,998
♪ But You're
All I've ever known ♪
184
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:25,937
♪ For Me
It's beginning again ♪
185
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:31,276
♪ 'Cause I Just Can't
Let go ♪
186
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:36,147
♪ [ Vocalizing ]
187
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:48,259
[ Mom ] You're the camera guy
now, huh?
[ David ] yeah.
188
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,361
You should be looking
for birds, not mom.
189
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:52,030
Birds.
190
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:55,166
Birds, not me.
191
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,035
[ David ]
Yeah.
[ Mom ] yeah.
192
00:13:57,037 --> 00:14:00,405
Amici, romani, cives--
193
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:04,909
- where the hell is david?
- he's right there.
194
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:07,912
[ Timmy ]
Not cool, man.
Sorry.
195
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:10,982
Where the hell have you been?
We're in crisis mode here.
Sorry.
196
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,551
I think I may have
found a-- oh, wow.
197
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,119
Look at chad.
198
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:16,588
Fortuna bona sit.
199
00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:20,058
Globos meos lambe.
200
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:23,061
So I checked every scaup,
scoter, eider,
201
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,163
including the palearctic
and neotropical options,
202
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,865
and none of them
are a match.
203
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,300
This again?
Did you even sleep?
204
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:31,970
So then I thought
maybe it's rarer than those.
205
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:34,939
Well, the critically endangered
ducks consist of
the west indian whistling,
206
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:36,507
the laysan
and the white-headed duck.
207
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:38,610
But it's not any of those.
208
00:14:38,612 --> 00:14:40,278
So what's rarer
than critically endangered?
209
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,247
[ Teacher ]
Prompti conicite!
210
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,182
Nothing.
After critically endangered
it goes extinct.
211
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,084
Exactly.
212
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:49,187
Oh, my--
oh, damn it.
213
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,456
Camptorhynchus labradorius.
214
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,458
This would be so huge.
215
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:56,060
If evelyn reed knew
that I rediscovered
an extinct duck,
216
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,929
she'd definitely
let me do her.
217
00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,597
Possibly doggie-style.
218
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:05,103
and the term "doggie-style"
Is offensive to women
and possibly dogs as well.
219
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:08,973
Guys, you're both
missing the point.
What do you think?
220
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:11,476
It has to be female,
not a male.
221
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:15,213
The wing marks concern me,
but to be fair,
wing marks always concern me.
222
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:18,650
"B" teams,
incendere ubi paratus!
223
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,458
Cool!
[ Applause ]
224
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,160
How does that work?
225
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,964
Okay, we need to
find this duck again.
226
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:35,333
What we need
is an expert opinion.
227
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:39,003
Well, uh...
I can get us a meeting
with lawrence konrad.
228
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:41,272
Just because he said
you had "nice style"
At a book signing?
229
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,241
Um, he said I had
"interesting style."
230
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:46,311
And yes,
that's exactly why.
Dick.
231
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:50,048
[ Chattering ]
232
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:57,121
Hello?
233
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,991
He's too busy.
I told you this.
Hello?
234
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:04,429
What? Oh, sorry
to keep you waiting.
235
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:07,231
My secretary is at lunch,
and this thing should've--
[ Chirping ]
236
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:10,134
There you go.
Anyone?
Uh, yellow warbler.
237
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,003
Bravo.
Do come in.
238
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,242
Nope.
239
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,645
[ Chuckles ]
No, no, no, no.
240
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,347
That's all wrong.
241
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:31,522
Yeah, well,
it does decline at the nape.
242
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:34,158
- which one of you saw it?
- uh, I did.
243
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,160
I'm sorry the picture
is so blurry.
244
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,530
I was on my bike
when I spotted it.
245
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,232
On your bike?
246
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,101
[ Laughing ]
247
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:48,673
That's marvelous.
248
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,708
That's the great thing
about this field.
249
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:54,345
Doesn't matter if
you're a high school kid
on your bike or...
250
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:58,016
An old egghead like me
with a boatload
of silly degrees.
251
00:16:58,018 --> 00:17:00,351
Absolutely anyone
can be a birder.
252
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,587
Except for blind people,
I suppose.
253
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:08,493
- so you think it could
actually be a rare--
- close the door, please.
254
00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:18,636
Any of you familiar with
the term "lazarus species"?
255
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,339
You. Glasses.
256
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:25,376
An organism rediscovered alive
after having been
considered extinct.
257
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,746
And while lazarus species
are very rare,
258
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,549
here in America
I had the pleasure
of being amongst those...
259
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,218
Who re-found
the ivory-billed woodpecker
in 2005.
260
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,387
Though certain scientists
do dispute my claim.
261
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,523
Fools.
262
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:41,259
February 20, 2005.
263
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,694
I remember because
it was three weeks...
264
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,297
After my life magellanic
woodpecker in chile.
265
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:48,232
Quite a month
for campephilus.
266
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,467
You remember all the dates
on your life list?
267
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:55,139
Now, on, uh, may 13th
of this year,
268
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:56,674
you might--
[ Chuckles ]
269
00:17:56,676 --> 00:18:00,211
I do stress might--
270
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,580
have spotted--
271
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,383
- yes!
- camptorhynchus labradorius.
272
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:08,820
- mm-hmm.
- the first bird to go extinct
in north America.
273
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:12,790
No one has seen
one of these fellas
since 1878.
274
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:16,327
So do you really think
that david saw
a labrador duck?
275
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:20,465
Of course
the photo is too blurry
to prove anything,
276
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:23,634
and it's certainly
out of consideration
for publication.
277
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,504
Trust me, what birder's way
does not need
is more controversy.
278
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:30,208
[ Sniffing ]
No, I think the only thing
to do here...
279
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,809
Is to find the bird again.
280
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,145
Well, it's probably migrating.
It could be anywhere.
281
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:36,714
Which means you need
to get a move on.
282
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:40,852
The labrador
is closely related
to sea ducks such as eiders.
283
00:18:40,854 --> 00:18:43,654
It's probably heading north,
maybe even migrating
with scoters.
284
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,491
Now, the good news
for you is...
285
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,860
That it'll be attracted
to the largest inland
bodies of water...
286
00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:50,628
Before
it hits the coast.
287
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:56,134
My guess is it'll be
in southern Connecticut
by sun fall tomorrow.
288
00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:59,303
So you think
it's actually possible
to find it again?
289
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:03,174
I do.
But I must warn you,
I love the chase.
290
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,543
I don't know whether
you've read my memoir--
291
00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:08,412
look to the skies.
I've read it five times.
[ Chuckles ]
292
00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:10,248
Then I don't need
to tell you...
293
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,617
That I spent 15 months
in ecuador...
294
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,852
Tracking
the pale-headed
brush-finch,
295
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:18,222
only to learn
that it was a mere
white-headed brush-finch.
296
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,424
If I had faced facts
a few days earlier,
297
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,193
you'd be looking
at a man with--
298
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:24,629
[ Tapping ]
Two legs.
299
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:28,232
I won't deny it.
I'm starting to get
very jealous of you lads.
300
00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:31,235
We have, um,
modern european history class
in 25 minutes.
301
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:33,171
Fair enough.
302
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:36,807
Well, do keep me informed.
Never hesitate to call.
303
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,377
Oh, and one piece of advice
from an old twitcher--
304
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:42,446
get yourselves
a better camera, one with
a strong telephoto lens.
305
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:47,885
Having the wrong gear
is precisely why this photo
is ultimately useless.
306
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,554
Good luck, gentlemen.
307
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,289
Dr. Konrad.
308
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:57,228
Mr. Konrad?
309
00:19:57,230 --> 00:20:00,464
Could you,
um, s-sign my book?
310
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,434
First edition.
Yeah.
311
00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:13,277
"Portnoy."
312
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,748
Was your mother
dorothy portnoy?
313
00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:21,752
Y-you know my mother?
314
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,721
Of course.
315
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,624
Back in
the '80s and '90s,
316
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:30,261
she helped pioneer
the use of marine radar...
317
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:32,296
To predict
migrant fall-outs.
318
00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:35,633
She was a real unsung hero
of birding.
319
00:20:37,869 --> 00:20:39,870
That must have been
awful.
320
00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:45,576
I'm deeply sorry
for your loss.
321
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:49,647
[ Pen scratching
on paper ]
322
00:20:53,885 --> 00:20:56,020
Why?
It's way too intense.
323
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:59,457
I'm sorry, but this
would take an official
YB.S. Vote, guys.
324
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,659
[ Sighs ] okay.
Move to discuss.
325
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:03,628
Um, second.
326
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,930
All right,
the chair recognizes
timothy barsky.
327
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,932
Thank you.
Mr. Chairman, Mr. Portnoy.
328
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,434
Simply put,
we must find this bird.
329
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,803
I think it could represent
a new hope for YB.S.,
330
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:15,273
which frankly is
on the brink of collapse.
331
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:16,841
I think with
the right publicity,
332
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,976
the sighting
of a labrador duck
could boost membership...
333
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,579
And the three of us
could reap untold rewards,
334
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:25,683
fame-wise, money-wise
and vagina-wise.
335
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:28,786
Thank you.
That's all, Mr. Chairman.
336
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,921
I concur.
Move to vote.
337
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:32,890
Second.
338
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:35,760
All in favor of searching
for the extinct labrador duck?
339
00:21:35,762 --> 00:21:37,662
[ Both ]
Yea.
340
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,430
All opposed?
Nay.
341
00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:41,532
Motion passes
two to one.
342
00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:44,302
I'll draw up
the budget.
You don't have to.
343
00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:45,903
I want to.
344
00:21:54,546 --> 00:21:56,480
Yeah?
Hey, uh--
345
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,316
I left something
in the lab yesterday.
346
00:21:58,318 --> 00:21:59,950
Oh. Okay.
347
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:02,486
I'm ellen,
by the way.
348
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:04,388
What?
349
00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:07,725
We're in a class together,
so I'm telling you who I am.
350
00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:09,960
Oh.
Oh, hi.
351
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:11,796
Hi.
There you go.
[ Chuckles ]
352
00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:13,431
Thank you.
353
00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:37,722
♪ [ Classical ]
354
00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:41,559
[ Peter ] all right,
so given the expected speed
of the labrador duck...
355
00:22:41,561 --> 00:22:46,464
♪ [ Continues ]
The bird will be forced to rest
in this 15-mile radius...
356
00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:48,699
Encompassing cedar lake
at cockaponset.
357
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:50,735
Okay, well,
I'm putting my money
on cockaponset.
358
00:22:50,737 --> 00:22:52,670
And not just because it has
the word "cock" in it.
359
00:22:52,672 --> 00:22:54,805
Well, I still maintain
it's a long shot at best,
360
00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:57,808
but as places go,
it is more likely than most.
361
00:22:57,810 --> 00:23:00,911
On the transportation front,
my cousin eric said
he'd loan me some wheels.
362
00:23:00,913 --> 00:23:03,848
- he did?
- yeah. He's a cool guy.
He likes me a lot.
363
00:23:03,850 --> 00:23:07,651
[ Doorbell rings ]
Hey, isn't your dad getting
married this weekend?
364
00:23:07,653 --> 00:23:09,887
Yep.
This is way more important.
365
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:12,456
- [ Juliana ]
David?
- yeah?
366
00:23:13,425 --> 00:23:15,826
David--
oh, hi, boys!
367
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:19,463
- hello, Mrs. Santos.
- juliana-- oww.
368
00:23:19,465 --> 00:23:21,132
David,
there's somebody here
to see you.
369
00:23:21,134 --> 00:23:23,634
A girl from your school,
I think.
370
00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:26,036
Go on in, hon.
[ Ellen ]
Thank you.
371
00:23:29,975 --> 00:23:32,009
♪ [ CLASSICAL: Off ]
You stole the lens?
372
00:23:32,011 --> 00:23:35,679
- preposterous.
- what's "project anus"?
373
00:23:35,681 --> 00:23:37,748
Anas. okay?
And it's none of
your business.
374
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,817
Just give me the lens.
375
00:23:39,819 --> 00:23:44,989
And what evidence do you have
of this alleged theft
of this alleged lens?
376
00:23:44,991 --> 00:23:47,825
Well, it was there earlier
this afternoon.
377
00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:51,195
I gave him the keys,
he went into the lab,
and then it was gone.
378
00:23:51,197 --> 00:23:53,664
Circumstantial.
It's sitting
right next to you.
379
00:23:53,666 --> 00:23:56,066
- oh, damn it, peter!
- oh, my god.
380
00:23:58,703 --> 00:24:01,071
Have you ever heard of
a labrador duck?
381
00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:05,943
I still don't get why
it's called project anus.
382
00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,778
Anas!
[ David ]
It's latin for "duck."
383
00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:11,115
- you guys speak latin?
- yeah. Sometimes.
384
00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:12,817
You could come
with us.
385
00:24:15,921 --> 00:24:19,557
This would seriously be
the first photo
of this extinct duck?
386
00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:21,559
Yeah.
Definitely.
387
00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:24,829
If I come,
I'm taking the picture.
388
00:24:24,831 --> 00:24:27,231
No, you're not. Okay?
That's not a possibility.
389
00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:29,767
- take it or leave it.
- we'll take it.
390
00:24:32,704 --> 00:24:35,739
- when do we leave?
- 7:00 AM. From timmy's
cousin's house.
391
00:24:35,741 --> 00:24:37,475
25 southridge drive.
392
00:24:37,477 --> 00:24:39,043
Cool.
393
00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:42,780
Where the hell
did that come from?
394
00:24:42,782 --> 00:24:45,149
She made me nervous.
Okay?
395
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:49,887
On the flip side,
one or possibly more of us will
get some action this weekend.
396
00:24:49,889 --> 00:24:52,623
Most likely be me.
[ David ] nope.
Not going to happen.
397
00:25:00,765 --> 00:25:02,733
Hey.
Need some help?
398
00:25:02,735 --> 00:25:05,503
I got it.
399
00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:07,538
Just help him,
donnie.
Yeah.
400
00:25:10,675 --> 00:25:12,743
Where you going?
Timmy's.
401
00:25:12,745 --> 00:25:15,045
Huh.
Sleeping over tonight.
402
00:25:15,047 --> 00:25:19,617
You know, uh,
I'm getting married...
Tomorrow.
403
00:25:19,619 --> 00:25:21,585
I'll be back
in plenty of time.
404
00:25:21,587 --> 00:25:23,087
Yeah, uh--
405
00:25:23,089 --> 00:25:25,189
come on, dad.
It's important.
I gotta go.
406
00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:27,157
All right--
okay.
407
00:25:27,159 --> 00:25:28,859
Okay. Okay.
408
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:31,729
I know I'm
supposed to give you
your grieving space.
409
00:25:31,731 --> 00:25:33,197
Don't quote
Dr. Schultz.
410
00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:37,902
It's just, you know,
the rehearsal
is at 10:00 AM.
411
00:25:37,904 --> 00:25:40,004
Rehearsal?
Yeah.
412
00:25:40,006 --> 00:25:43,207
The rehearsal is walking
from one side of the lawn
to the other. Right?
413
00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:44,875
[ Sighs ]
Okay, dave, com--
414
00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:46,911
time out.
You know? I-i--
415
00:25:46,913 --> 00:25:51,582
all right, I know.
I get that it's all gotta
seem pretty weird to you.
416
00:25:51,584 --> 00:25:54,752
And maybe juliana's
not your favorite person
in the world.
417
00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:56,954
Dad, I really don't
want to talk about this.
418
00:25:56,956 --> 00:25:59,857
Fast-forward
10 years from now.
Who's gonna care?
419
00:25:59,859 --> 00:26:01,725
She's gonna be
your really cool
kick-ass mom.
420
00:26:01,727 --> 00:26:03,794
You gotta look at things
like everything
happens for a reason.
421
00:26:03,796 --> 00:26:06,163
What?
You know,
what might--
422
00:26:06,165 --> 00:26:07,898
"for a reason"?
423
00:26:11,970 --> 00:26:13,971
You know,
I shouldn't have
said that.
424
00:26:13,973 --> 00:26:16,073
That's not
what I meant to say.
425
00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:17,908
What I meant--
no.
426
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:19,977
Bullshit.
Come on, david.
427
00:26:23,882 --> 00:26:26,083
[ Mom ]
I'm gonna catch you.
[ Laughing ]
428
00:26:26,085 --> 00:26:27,751
Here I come.
429
00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:30,688
[ Chattering, laughing ]
430
00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:34,858
You are too fast!
431
00:26:36,161 --> 00:26:38,095
I gotcha!
432
00:26:42,734 --> 00:26:44,268
[ Knocking on glass ]
433
00:26:47,739 --> 00:26:49,239
Sorry I'm late.
434
00:26:50,875 --> 00:26:53,978
Have we confirmed
he knows we're coming?
Yes.
435
00:26:57,148 --> 00:26:58,749
Eric!
436
00:26:58,751 --> 00:27:02,353
♪ [ Rock, Muffled ]
437
00:27:02,355 --> 00:27:05,356
♪ [ Continues ]
Timmy. My man.
438
00:27:05,358 --> 00:27:08,058
Eric. My man.
439
00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:12,363
[ Chuckles ]
You think I could
grab those keys now?
440
00:27:12,365 --> 00:27:14,999
Oh. Yeah.
The keys. Totally.
441
00:27:15,001 --> 00:27:17,368
Could you go
get them now?
Sure.
442
00:27:25,677 --> 00:27:27,978
You're eric's cousin?
443
00:27:28,813 --> 00:27:30,314
Yeah.
F-first cousin.
444
00:27:31,182 --> 00:27:33,317
Hmm.
445
00:27:37,222 --> 00:27:39,757
These are--
[ Scoffs ]
446
00:27:39,759 --> 00:27:42,226
These are keys
to a kryptonite
bike lock.
447
00:27:43,361 --> 00:27:45,229
Wait. You wanted
to borrow my car?
448
00:27:45,231 --> 00:27:47,097
Yeah.
Timmy!
449
00:27:47,099 --> 00:27:50,034
- I'm not going to
lend you my car.
- why not?
450
00:27:50,036 --> 00:27:52,169
For, like,
several reasons.
451
00:27:52,171 --> 00:27:56,940
There are insurance issues that
would not be easy to resolve,
to say the least.
452
00:27:56,942 --> 00:28:01,245
I have no reason to believe that
you or any of your friends are
safe and/or reliable drivers,
453
00:28:01,247 --> 00:28:05,082
not to mention
trish and I have plans
to use the car...
454
00:28:05,084 --> 00:28:07,751
To go up to sheep's meadow
to hang out and smoke weed.
455
00:28:07,753 --> 00:28:09,453
He does make some
convincing arguments.
456
00:28:09,455 --> 00:28:11,288
Thank you.
[ Timmy ]
Fine!
457
00:28:11,290 --> 00:28:14,058
Well, thanks anyway, eric.
You're a real cool guy.
458
00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:16,794
P.s. Grandma thinks
you're a communist.
459
00:28:16,796 --> 00:28:19,063
I am a communist.
460
00:28:20,832 --> 00:28:23,400
Bye, timmy's
little friends.
461
00:28:23,402 --> 00:28:25,269
Bye. Bye.
Bye.
462
00:28:26,805 --> 00:28:28,706
I hate him.
463
00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:30,340
If he hadn't dj'd
my bar mitzvah,
464
00:28:30,342 --> 00:28:33,911
my life would be
a lot better right now,
believe you me.
465
00:28:33,913 --> 00:28:36,780
So, is trish
eric's steady girlfriend?
466
00:28:36,782 --> 00:28:38,282
What?
467
00:28:38,284 --> 00:28:40,050
Oh! I found it!
468
00:28:40,052 --> 00:28:41,719
[ Groans ]
469
00:28:41,721 --> 00:28:43,887
Ever drive a cabriolet,
peter?
470
00:28:43,889 --> 00:28:46,090
Absolutely not.
471
00:28:46,092 --> 00:28:48,092
What?
You're the only one
with a license.
472
00:28:48,094 --> 00:28:50,761
I'm not driving
a stolen car, guys.
473
00:28:50,763 --> 00:28:53,397
[ David ]
It's not a stolen car.
We'll bring it back tomorrow.
474
00:28:53,399 --> 00:28:56,200
He'll just think
he forgot where he
parked it, right?
475
00:28:56,202 --> 00:28:59,470
Come on, man.
This is your chance
to not be a total pussy.
476
00:28:59,472 --> 00:29:01,305
You can impress
an actual girl.
477
00:29:01,307 --> 00:29:03,907
It's exciting.
Ellen?
478
00:29:03,909 --> 00:29:06,343
I think peter should do
what he wants.
479
00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:10,247
But, yeah,
I-i would be impressed.
480
00:29:11,449 --> 00:29:14,118
Very impressed.
481
00:29:16,187 --> 00:29:17,888
Thanks.
482
00:29:20,792 --> 00:29:22,860
[ Tires screech ]
[ Horn honks ]
483
00:29:24,229 --> 00:29:27,030
♪ [ POP: Man Singing ]
[ Horn honks ]
484
00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:31,135
[ Ellen snickers ]
[ Timmy ]
Peter, just merge!
485
00:29:31,137 --> 00:29:34,772
You have no idea
what kind of pressure
this is. No idea.
486
00:29:34,774 --> 00:29:37,274
Okay, well,
you don't have to spaz.
487
00:29:39,878 --> 00:29:42,212
Are you gonna
keep it under 35?
Yes.
488
00:29:42,214 --> 00:29:44,047
I am.
489
00:29:44,049 --> 00:29:47,217
That's probably
more dangerous.
490
00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:53,791
Timmy?
491
00:29:53,793 --> 00:29:55,425
Holy shit.
492
00:29:56,494 --> 00:29:58,862
What is this?
Is that crack cocaine?
493
00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:02,466
- I have no idea. Maybe.
- "maybe"?
494
00:30:02,468 --> 00:30:05,569
Just keep driving, peter.
I-it looks like--
495
00:30:05,571 --> 00:30:08,972
looks like crystals.
You know what?
Maybe it's rock candy.
496
00:30:08,974 --> 00:30:11,875
Ellen, grow up. Okay?
They're crystals.
497
00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:16,847
Oh, shit.
What?
498
00:30:16,849 --> 00:30:18,215
Crystal meth.
499
00:30:18,217 --> 00:30:20,384
Throw it
out the window.
What?
500
00:30:20,386 --> 00:30:22,486
No, we can't just
throw it out the window.
Yes, we can.
501
00:30:22,488 --> 00:30:24,087
Peter, think!
502
00:30:24,089 --> 00:30:26,990
What happens
if we return the car
without the drugs?
503
00:30:26,992 --> 00:30:30,194
Maybe eric
was trying to sell them
on behalf of some drug lords.
504
00:30:30,196 --> 00:30:33,530
And then when the drug lords
come looking for the money,
505
00:30:33,532 --> 00:30:38,035
suddenly eric doesn't have
the money or the drugs,
so they kill him.
506
00:30:38,037 --> 00:30:40,938
Eric sucks,
but he doesn't
deserve to die.
507
00:30:40,940 --> 00:30:43,240
Okay, just keep it hidden.
Give it, ellen.
508
00:30:43,242 --> 00:30:45,309
[ Glove box
opens, closes ]
Done.
509
00:30:45,311 --> 00:30:48,579
- I don't like it.
- I'm shocked.
I'm really shocked.
510
00:30:48,581 --> 00:30:53,383
Peter, for the love of god,
you have to speed up.
It's like we're in a wagon.
511
00:30:53,385 --> 00:30:58,989
[ Man ]
♪ But I Always Choose
Another way ♪
512
00:30:58,991 --> 00:31:03,160
♪ This Is Why This Love
Can't stay ♪
513
00:31:08,299 --> 00:31:10,467
[ Timmy ]
Now we're cruising.
514
00:31:10,469 --> 00:31:12,936
This is totally illegal.
Peter,
it's fine.
515
00:31:12,938 --> 00:31:15,606
You only have
your learner's permit.
[ Engine knocking, squeaking ]
516
00:31:15,608 --> 00:31:17,875
What's that noise?
517
00:31:17,877 --> 00:31:20,110
Sounds like
a black-and-white warbler.
518
00:31:20,112 --> 00:31:22,880
[ Timmy ] sounds like
a red-breasted nuthatch,
but it's coming from the engine.
519
00:31:23,514 --> 00:31:25,549
What's a finch look like?
520
00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:30,487
A finch, it's kind of like
a perching bird with
a small, sharp, pointy bill.
521
00:31:30,489 --> 00:31:33,323
Well, my boyfriend's band
is called the real finches.
522
00:31:33,325 --> 00:31:37,294
[ Timmy laughs ]
The real finches?
523
00:31:37,296 --> 00:31:40,063
Sounds like
a pretty hard-core band.
524
00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:44,067
Right, 'cause you're
into more hard-core stuff,
like beethoven?
525
00:31:44,069 --> 00:31:45,669
Um, bartók, okay?
526
00:31:45,671 --> 00:31:47,971
Maybe, like,
late beethoven, yeah.
527
00:31:47,973 --> 00:31:50,340
Right.
[ Laughs ]
528
00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:52,276
Hey, these
are totally retro.
529
00:31:52,278 --> 00:31:54,478
Oh, yeah, thanks.
They were my mom's.
530
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,414
- is she a big birder?
- you know his mom's dead,
right?
531
00:31:58,683 --> 00:32:01,251
What?
Oh.
532
00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:04,254
Guess that's before
you moved here. David
doesn't like to talk about it.
533
00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:05,989
Thanks, timmy.
534
00:32:10,962 --> 00:32:13,196
Okay, guys, I have
an announcement to make.
535
00:32:13,198 --> 00:32:17,167
I want everyone to
remain still while I talk,
especially you peter.
536
00:32:17,169 --> 00:32:20,203
There is a vehicle
that has been trailing us
for the past 10 miles,
537
00:32:20,205 --> 00:32:22,172
and there are definitely
guns in the vehicle.
538
00:32:22,174 --> 00:32:24,441
Oh, my god!
Peter, stay still.
539
00:32:24,443 --> 00:32:25,943
[ Peter ]
Sorry.
540
00:32:25,945 --> 00:32:28,145
They could be
eric's drug lord bosses.
541
00:32:28,147 --> 00:32:31,982
- david, can you just slow down
and see if they pass us?
- yeah.
542
00:32:36,721 --> 00:32:39,523
It doesn't have guns
on it.
543
00:32:39,525 --> 00:32:42,125
Oh, shit.
There they are.
544
00:32:42,127 --> 00:32:44,194
Oh, that was
a close one.
545
00:32:44,196 --> 00:32:46,063
How was that
a close one?
546
00:32:46,065 --> 00:32:48,332
It was a close one.
547
00:32:54,038 --> 00:32:56,173
What's with
all the people?
548
00:32:56,175 --> 00:32:59,276
Is this, like, an important day
for birding or something?
It's saturday.
549
00:33:08,152 --> 00:33:11,355
- hey, portnoy's back!
- hey, matheny.
550
00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:16,560
Are you like the boy wonder
of the birding world
or something?
551
00:33:16,562 --> 00:33:20,063
No, I just haven't
been here in a while.
552
00:33:23,201 --> 00:33:25,268
[ Ellen ]
So what's going on here,
exactly?
553
00:33:26,037 --> 00:33:27,504
Okay, um,
554
00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:29,740
first you have
the feeder fillers.
555
00:33:29,742 --> 00:33:32,609
And they just want a bird feeder
so they can attract a bird...
556
00:33:32,611 --> 00:33:35,312
Like a cardinal.
557
00:33:35,314 --> 00:33:38,782
And then there's listers,
like those guys over there.
558
00:33:38,784 --> 00:33:41,518
Now, listers, they like
the numbers and the data.
559
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:45,155
So they record everything
on these very meticulous
life lists.
560
00:33:45,157 --> 00:33:48,225
So if my dad was a birder,
he'd be a lister.
561
00:33:48,227 --> 00:33:50,327
- he's not a birder?
- no.
562
00:33:50,329 --> 00:33:54,364
He owns five chicken huts.
He literally makes a living
killing birds.
563
00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:57,134
So which kind of birder
are you?
564
00:33:57,136 --> 00:33:59,436
Well, there's one more.
The watchers.
565
00:33:59,438 --> 00:34:02,305
Now, the watchers--
this is lawrence konrad's
definition--
566
00:34:02,307 --> 00:34:05,609
they want to achieve
a transcendent connection
between nature...
567
00:34:05,611 --> 00:34:10,347
That erases any distinction
between, I guess,
human and bird souls.
568
00:34:10,349 --> 00:34:11,815
Let me guess.
569
00:34:11,817 --> 00:34:14,351
You're a watcher.
Mmm--
570
00:34:14,353 --> 00:34:18,055
well, there's actually
very few watchers out there.
571
00:34:18,057 --> 00:34:24,394
In the world of birding,
most of us are just listers
who strive to be watchers.
572
00:34:24,396 --> 00:34:27,531
[ Duck call quacking ]
573
00:34:29,802 --> 00:34:35,806
Old-school duck call.
Help us in finding
the, uh, you-know-what.
574
00:34:35,808 --> 00:34:38,308
[ Man ]
I don't know. What?
575
00:34:38,310 --> 00:34:41,478
Nothing.
You guys
heading out?
576
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,114
Yeah, we're going
to cockaponset.
The cock.
577
00:34:44,116 --> 00:34:45,715
You guys
from around here?
578
00:34:45,717 --> 00:34:47,584
No. Somers.
579
00:34:47,586 --> 00:34:50,120
All right, all right.
What do you see up there?
580
00:34:50,122 --> 00:34:53,190
Hooded warblers,
arcadian flycatcher,
581
00:34:53,192 --> 00:34:55,859
yellow-billed cuckoo,
yellow-winged vireo.
582
00:34:55,861 --> 00:35:01,098
Wait, you saw
a yellow-winged vireo
in New York?
583
00:35:01,100 --> 00:35:03,366
Yeah.
Yeah? Wow.
584
00:35:03,368 --> 00:35:04,868
Wow, wow, wow.
585
00:35:04,870 --> 00:35:07,104
Don't be an asshole,
jeff.
586
00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:08,672
[ David ]
What?
587
00:35:08,674 --> 00:35:12,275
Oh, I'm sorry. I mean
a yellow-throated vireo.
588
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:13,810
There you go.
Yeah.
589
00:35:13,812 --> 00:35:15,545
There it is.
590
00:35:15,547 --> 00:35:18,315
So what kind of stuff
do you guys see?
591
00:35:18,317 --> 00:35:20,150
We just had a great trip
to tanzania.
592
00:35:20,152 --> 00:35:22,786
Saw an usambara eagle-owl,
among other things.
593
00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:25,288
Not a bad
for our first year.
First year?
594
00:35:25,290 --> 00:35:27,357
Last year we climbed
the seven summits.
595
00:35:27,359 --> 00:35:29,459
This year we're going
for the world big year record.
596
00:35:29,461 --> 00:35:32,629
Oh, so you're not birders.
You're more like
mountain dew ads.
597
00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:35,198
More like extreme hobbyists.
598
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,902
That means in 10 months,
we've seen over
350 endangered species,
599
00:35:38,904 --> 00:35:42,139
including finding
only the sixth-known nest
of a grauer's broadbill.
600
00:35:42,141 --> 00:35:44,407
- that's amazing.
- yeah.
- yeah.
601
00:35:45,476 --> 00:35:47,344
David saw
a labrador duck.
602
00:35:49,780 --> 00:35:52,215
You know that's extinct,
right?
603
00:35:52,217 --> 00:35:54,784
Yes.
Well, but--
604
00:35:54,786 --> 00:35:56,653
no, she isn't--
she's not a birder.
605
00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:59,456
She has no idea
what she's talking about.
Yes, I do.
606
00:35:59,458 --> 00:36:01,224
No, she doesn't.
607
00:36:01,226 --> 00:36:03,827
Okay, 'cause that is
a pretty big claim.
You know?
608
00:36:03,829 --> 00:36:05,829
Spotting
an extinct species.
609
00:36:05,831 --> 00:36:08,698
- you guys have a photo
or anything?
- no. No.
610
00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:12,569
She's confused. We can't have
a picture of something
that doesn't exist.
611
00:36:12,571 --> 00:36:14,604
Right.
Right.
612
00:36:14,606 --> 00:36:16,740
All right?
We should be going.
613
00:36:16,742 --> 00:36:18,441
Yeah.
Right, right, right.
614
00:36:18,443 --> 00:36:19,876
Well, good birding.
Good birding,
fellas.
615
00:36:21,279 --> 00:36:22,746
- good birding.
- [ Quack ]
616
00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:26,349
[ Murmuring ]
Labrador duck?
617
00:36:26,351 --> 00:36:28,785
I'm sorry, ellen,
you're a complete idiot.
618
00:36:28,787 --> 00:36:31,388
Whatever. They didn't
believe me anyway.
619
00:36:31,390 --> 00:36:33,757
Let's hope to god
you're right.
620
00:36:33,759 --> 00:36:37,727
♪ [ Rock ]
[ Man ]
♪ She Lived In Space, Man ♪
621
00:36:37,729 --> 00:36:40,597
♪ [ Continues ]
Hey, check it out.
622
00:36:41,799 --> 00:36:43,833
[ Geese honking ]
Yeah.
623
00:36:47,371 --> 00:36:49,673
- [ Peter ]
David?
- what are you doing?
624
00:36:49,675 --> 00:36:52,442
I'm just gonna
catch up with them.
625
00:36:55,546 --> 00:36:57,380
Almost there.
626
00:36:58,449 --> 00:37:00,417
There we go.
627
00:37:00,419 --> 00:37:03,486
[ Honking continues ]
628
00:37:03,488 --> 00:37:05,889
Could the labrador duck
be up there?
629
00:37:05,891 --> 00:37:07,724
No.
They're canada geese.
630
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:09,593
♪ [ Continues ]
631
00:37:09,595 --> 00:37:13,697
♪ Still Want To See Her
In the morning ♪
632
00:37:15,299 --> 00:37:17,000
[ Squeaking, hissing ]
633
00:37:17,002 --> 00:37:19,236
[ Engine knocking ]
634
00:37:19,238 --> 00:37:20,804
Shit.
635
00:37:20,806 --> 00:37:23,373
Oh, no, no, no.
636
00:37:23,375 --> 00:37:28,878
- it must be related to
the warbler noise. Shit!
- [ Peter ] nuthatch noise.
637
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,248
[ Timmy ]
Okay, shut up, peter.
638
00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:34,718
[ Engine dies ]
♪ [ Stops ]
639
00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:37,020
[ Steam hissing ]
640
00:37:39,590 --> 00:37:42,959
[ David ] think it's just
an overheated alternator thing
or something.
641
00:37:42,961 --> 00:37:45,395
[ Timmy ]
You have no idea what
you're talking about.
642
00:37:45,397 --> 00:37:46,796
[ Ellen ]
We should go home.
643
00:37:46,798 --> 00:37:49,366
[ Timmy ]
I knew it.
644
00:37:49,368 --> 00:37:51,468
I'm sorry.
You knew what?
645
00:37:51,470 --> 00:37:53,670
Come on.
646
00:37:53,672 --> 00:37:56,339
We all knew from the start
it was a mistake
to bring you. Okay?
647
00:37:56,341 --> 00:37:59,909
You're late,
you have to pee all the time,
and now you want to quit.
648
00:37:59,911 --> 00:38:03,380
I brought a telephoto lens
and five years of
photography experience.
649
00:38:03,382 --> 00:38:05,749
What did you bring?
Oh, um, let me think.
650
00:38:05,751 --> 00:38:08,285
Excellent leadership skills,
logic,
651
00:38:08,287 --> 00:38:11,054
an orange belt
in shaolin long fist,
652
00:38:11,056 --> 00:38:13,490
fluency
in latin and español...
653
00:38:14,458 --> 00:38:15,925
Awesome logic skills.
654
00:38:15,927 --> 00:38:20,497
Guys, I'm going to
go call the triple-a.
Where are we, exactly?
655
00:38:20,499 --> 00:38:22,832
Um, we're somewhere
near woodstock, so--
656
00:38:22,834 --> 00:38:25,001
wait.
Woodstock?
Yeah.
657
00:38:25,003 --> 00:38:28,705
Hold on one second.
Who are you
gonna call?
658
00:38:28,707 --> 00:38:31,941
Booty call. The reeds
have a house out here.
659
00:38:31,943 --> 00:38:34,344
Wait.
Evelyn reed?
Yeah.
660
00:38:35,379 --> 00:38:37,881
Hey, evelyn.
It's timmy.
661
00:38:40,084 --> 00:38:41,785
Timmy.
662
00:38:43,521 --> 00:38:45,955
Timmy barsky.
[ Scoffs ]
663
00:38:48,492 --> 00:38:50,694
- timmy barsky.
- we should get a backup.
664
00:38:50,696 --> 00:38:52,495
No, no, they're friends.
Kind of.
665
00:38:52,497 --> 00:38:56,900
I mean,
I guess she does call him
her personal math hobbit.
666
00:38:56,902 --> 00:39:00,603
Yeah, so we're in
a bit of a pickle-dick.
667
00:39:00,605 --> 00:39:03,506
N-no, it's a stupid line
from--
668
00:39:03,508 --> 00:39:06,376
I guess you probably
want to call your mom.
669
00:39:06,378 --> 00:39:10,380
Well, that would involve
telling her where I am,
so... No, thank you.
670
00:39:10,382 --> 00:39:15,118
She's in New Mexico at
a swing and salsa conference
this weekend,
671
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:19,022
so it was either this
or sitting around
on my own.
672
00:39:19,024 --> 00:39:20,857
So...
673
00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:22,959
Swing and salsa?
674
00:39:22,961 --> 00:39:24,928
Well, they're actually
really different.
675
00:39:24,930 --> 00:39:27,130
Okay.
676
00:39:27,132 --> 00:39:29,499
Oh, that's--
[ Laughs ]
That's a lot!
677
00:39:29,501 --> 00:39:32,669
Hey, I'm sorry
about your mom.
678
00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:35,605
I didn't mean
to bring it up.
679
00:39:35,607 --> 00:39:37,574
It's okay.
Timmy's an idiot sometimes.
680
00:39:37,576 --> 00:39:40,443
Really,
it's not a big deal.
681
00:39:40,445 --> 00:39:43,747
I mean,
of course it's a big deal,
but it's not a big deal.
682
00:39:44,849 --> 00:39:48,418
How long ago
did she pass away?
683
00:39:48,420 --> 00:39:51,020
Almost a year
and a half ago.
684
00:39:51,022 --> 00:39:53,456
Just, you know,
you have my--
you have--
685
00:39:56,927 --> 00:39:58,561
[ Timmy ]
Hey, guys.
686
00:39:59,764 --> 00:40:01,498
We're good.
687
00:40:02,933 --> 00:40:06,136
So what is
this top-secret mission
you guys are on?
688
00:40:06,138 --> 00:40:08,571
I mean,
I could tell you, but--
689
00:40:08,573 --> 00:40:10,407
you'd have to
kill me?
690
00:40:10,409 --> 00:40:13,143
No, of course not.
I'm a pacifist.
Peter would kill you.
691
00:40:13,145 --> 00:40:15,612
I'm a pacifist.
He's really not.
692
00:40:15,614 --> 00:40:19,416
- he has to say that.
It's his cover.
- oh, my god. You're so funny.
693
00:40:19,418 --> 00:40:20,984
[ Laughs ]
I know.
694
00:40:20,986 --> 00:40:23,987
I think we may have actually
found an extinct duck.
Wow!
695
00:40:23,989 --> 00:40:26,423
Oh, this is
public information now?
Uh, yeah.
696
00:40:26,425 --> 00:40:27,924
Get in the car.
697
00:40:46,677 --> 00:40:49,012
Thanks again, ev.
Hey, I should be
thanking you.
698
00:40:49,014 --> 00:40:52,048
I don't know
what I'd do without you.
Oh--
699
00:40:55,152 --> 00:40:57,854
uh, hey, you know.
I'm timmy.
700
00:40:57,856 --> 00:41:00,457
I'm-- I'm your--
701
00:41:00,459 --> 00:41:01,591
[ Engine starts ]
I'm your guy.
702
00:41:01,593 --> 00:41:03,493
♪ [ RADIO: Rap ]
You are!
703
00:41:03,495 --> 00:41:06,095
Bye, guys.
Oh, and girl.
704
00:41:08,866 --> 00:41:10,834
Why was she thanking you?
705
00:41:10,836 --> 00:41:13,102
Oh, my god,
she's so hot.
706
00:41:13,104 --> 00:41:15,672
How much this time,
timmy?
707
00:41:15,674 --> 00:41:18,575
I don't know.
Maybe the rest
of the year.
708
00:41:18,577 --> 00:41:21,110
You're doing her math homework
for the rest of the year?
709
00:41:21,112 --> 00:41:23,580
You wouldn't understand
our relationship. Okay?
710
00:41:23,582 --> 00:41:26,149
Oh, my god.
What?
711
00:41:27,651 --> 00:41:29,819
[ Timmy ]
No guns.
[ Peter ] what?
712
00:41:29,821 --> 00:41:32,489
They've taken
the guns.
713
00:41:32,491 --> 00:41:35,258
- you brought it with you?
- we need to call the cops.
Like, right now, guys.
714
00:41:35,260 --> 00:41:38,595
And tell them what, peter?
That we stole a car
loaded with narcotics?
715
00:41:38,597 --> 00:41:40,630
- you are a genius!
- keep it hidden.
716
00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:42,665
All in favor?
Aye.
Aye.
717
00:41:44,935 --> 00:41:47,036
You know what?
They'll kill us
in the woods. Okay?
718
00:41:48,205 --> 00:41:50,807
[ Knocking ]
719
00:42:00,684 --> 00:42:03,753
- eric.
- we have a situation.
720
00:42:04,588 --> 00:42:08,224
[ Bird chirping ]
721
00:42:08,226 --> 00:42:10,226
[ Ellen ]
What's that one?
722
00:42:10,228 --> 00:42:13,696
Uh...
Black-capped chickadee.
723
00:42:13,698 --> 00:42:16,599
How can you tell
which one it is
so quickly?
724
00:42:16,601 --> 00:42:19,736
Well, the best way is
to recognize its giss.
725
00:42:19,738 --> 00:42:21,604
What?
726
00:42:21,606 --> 00:42:23,540
[ Chuckles ]
G-i-s-s.
727
00:42:23,542 --> 00:42:25,208
General impression,
shape and size.
728
00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:27,544
That's how you make
a snap I.d of a bird.
729
00:42:27,546 --> 00:42:30,880
Yeah, I mean, I guess
it had a nice "jizz."
730
00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:33,316
You know--
I know "giss" sounds
like ejaculation.
731
00:42:33,318 --> 00:42:37,787
I mean, come on.
Chickadee jizz?
732
00:42:37,789 --> 00:42:40,156
Yeah.
It's in the tit family too.
Oh.
733
00:42:40,158 --> 00:42:44,060
Um, I guess another way is
you can I.d. It by its calls.
734
00:42:44,062 --> 00:42:47,130
So--
[ Bird chirping ]
735
00:42:47,132 --> 00:42:49,866
Uh... Downy woodpecker.
736
00:42:49,868 --> 00:42:51,768
[ Bird chirping ]
737
00:42:51,770 --> 00:42:53,269
White-breasted nuthatch.
738
00:42:53,271 --> 00:42:55,104
[ Bird chirping ]
739
00:42:55,106 --> 00:42:56,873
Carolina wren.
740
00:42:56,875 --> 00:42:58,908
[ Bird chirping ]
741
00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:01,010
The nuthatch again.
[ Bird chirping, loud ]
742
00:43:01,012 --> 00:43:04,180
What was that one?
It was a wood thrush.
743
00:43:05,849 --> 00:43:07,750
[ Sighs ]
Hold on.
744
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:10,853
Yeah?
Where are you?
745
00:43:10,855 --> 00:43:14,691
- timmy's.
- you drove to timmy's
in eric's car.
746
00:43:17,127 --> 00:43:18,628
Peter drove.
747
00:43:18,630 --> 00:43:20,597
Mm-hmm.
748
00:43:20,599 --> 00:43:24,033
David, what the hell
is going on?
749
00:43:26,670 --> 00:43:28,972
We may have discovered
an extinct duck.
750
00:43:28,974 --> 00:43:33,142
We're at a park in Connecticut
just trying to look for it,
and we'll be back by tomorrow.
751
00:43:33,144 --> 00:43:36,045
An extinct duck?
Yes.
752
00:43:36,047 --> 00:43:39,349
We're just--
all right, first,
you're seriously grounded.
753
00:43:39,351 --> 00:43:42,218
Second-- and let me
make this abundantly clear--
754
00:43:42,220 --> 00:43:45,288
if we end up waiting
around for you tomorrow
just to waltz in--
755
00:43:45,290 --> 00:43:48,825
you've already
made it abundantly clear
how you can't handle waiting.
756
00:43:52,696 --> 00:43:55,131
You know what?
Don't come.
757
00:43:55,133 --> 00:43:56,733
[ Quietly ]
Shit.
758
00:43:56,735 --> 00:43:58,267
Dad.
759
00:43:58,269 --> 00:44:01,838
Dad, I'm sorry.
No, no. You're
a young man now.
760
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:03,906
You can make
your own decisions.
761
00:44:03,908 --> 00:44:06,142
I'll have ted be the best man.
762
00:44:11,348 --> 00:44:13,016
Sure.
763
00:44:14,952 --> 00:44:16,185
Fine.
764
00:44:16,187 --> 00:44:17,854
[ Clicks ]
765
00:44:24,261 --> 00:44:26,362
That was your dad?
Yes.
766
00:44:27,364 --> 00:44:30,700
Hey, everything okay?
Yes.
767
00:44:30,702 --> 00:44:33,269
- are you sure?
- my dad's getting married
tomorrow.
768
00:44:33,271 --> 00:44:35,304
To my mom's nurse.
769
00:44:36,874 --> 00:44:39,942
Do you wanna
talk about it?
No.
770
00:44:39,944 --> 00:44:42,045
Wait, david.
How are we gonna
get back in time?
771
00:44:42,047 --> 00:44:43,746
We're not.
772
00:45:12,876 --> 00:45:16,112
[ Timmy ] I'm just saying,
I think the dunnock
is the sluttiest bird.
773
00:45:16,114 --> 00:45:19,015
- [ Ellen ] why?
- he or she has a partner...
774
00:45:19,017 --> 00:45:22,018
And then immediately
goes to another partner.
775
00:45:22,020 --> 00:45:24,954
Kinda like you, ellen.
Thank you, timmy.
Thank you.
776
00:45:24,956 --> 00:45:27,190
It's right there
behind the bush. See?
Okay.
777
00:45:28,225 --> 00:45:30,293
[ Chirping ]
778
00:45:31,962 --> 00:45:33,796
One o'clock.
One o'clock.
779
00:45:33,798 --> 00:45:36,165
You gotta look
right at it
and just put the--
780
00:45:36,167 --> 00:45:38,134
oh-- oh.
781
00:45:38,136 --> 00:45:40,136
[ Chirping ]
782
00:45:40,138 --> 00:45:42,905
Hey, put down
eastern for me.
You got it.
783
00:45:44,141 --> 00:45:46,976
It's like I'm talking to it
and it replies. See?
784
00:45:48,145 --> 00:45:49,846
Pss, pss.
Peter, shut up.
785
00:45:49,848 --> 00:45:52,448
[ Chirping ]
786
00:45:52,450 --> 00:45:56,152
♪ [ Man Vocalizing ]
787
00:46:07,331 --> 00:46:11,067
[ Timmy ] okay,
a lot of spider webs, guys.
788
00:46:11,069 --> 00:46:14,504
[ Ellen ]
Oh, big spider, big spider.
Big spider.
789
00:46:14,506 --> 00:46:16,272
[ Peter ]
Guys, I hear their spiders
are murder.
790
00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:19,308
♪ [ Vocalizing Continues ]
791
00:46:37,861 --> 00:46:39,295
[ David ]
There it is.
792
00:46:44,501 --> 00:46:48,137
[ Peter ] all right, so there's
a bridge about two miles
north-northeast of here.
793
00:46:48,139 --> 00:46:50,540
[ David ]
It's getting dark. I think
we should just cross here.
794
00:46:50,542 --> 00:46:53,810
Exactly. I don't know
about you guys.
I'm crossing this river.
795
00:46:53,812 --> 00:46:56,512
[ Peter ]
It's way too dangerous.
[ Timmy ] oh, come on, peter!
796
00:46:56,514 --> 00:46:59,949
You know women cite
physical bravery as the
number one quality in a man?
797
00:46:59,951 --> 00:47:02,251
It's a sense of humor.
798
00:47:02,253 --> 00:47:04,287
Ellen, brave or funny guys?
799
00:47:04,289 --> 00:47:07,190
- funny.
- what?
800
00:47:07,192 --> 00:47:08,524
Okay, well, whatever.
801
00:47:08,526 --> 00:47:10,426
With hot women, anyway,
802
00:47:10,428 --> 00:47:12,862
as in evelyn reed,
it's physical bravery.
803
00:47:12,864 --> 00:47:15,832
- so ha.
- can we stop it
with evelyn reed already?
804
00:47:15,834 --> 00:47:19,902
- [ Timmy ] um, jealous much?
- [ Ellen ] timmy,
you keep kissing her ass,
805
00:47:19,904 --> 00:47:21,470
hoping something
will happen--
806
00:47:21,472 --> 00:47:25,608
- which it will.
- when she's so clearly
dork-baiting you.
807
00:47:25,610 --> 00:47:27,944
Okay, evelyn reed
likes me, all right?
808
00:47:28,912 --> 00:47:30,413
What's dork-baiting?
809
00:47:30,415 --> 00:47:34,016
It's when a cute girl
is super nice
to a nerdy guy--
810
00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:36,519
- I'm not nerdy.
- so that he'll worship her...
811
00:47:36,521 --> 00:47:39,055
And fix her computer
and make her feel good
about herself...
812
00:47:39,057 --> 00:47:41,190
And, oh, also
do her homework.
813
00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:43,893
I'm doing her homework
because we're friends,
all right?
814
00:47:43,895 --> 00:47:45,528
That's what friends
do for each other.
815
00:47:45,530 --> 00:47:47,496
You wouldn't know 'cause
you don't have any friends.
816
00:47:47,498 --> 00:47:51,334
Timmy, it took her
45 minutes
to drive us here.
817
00:47:51,336 --> 00:47:54,103
So now you're gonna go
and do her homework
for the rest of the year.
818
00:47:54,105 --> 00:47:56,372
Just go.
Doesn't that sound
messed up to you?
819
00:47:56,374 --> 00:47:59,275
- let's just go.
- she calls you
her "personal math hobbit."
820
00:47:59,277 --> 00:48:01,310
That's bullshit.
I'm not gonna believe that.
Yeah?
821
00:48:01,312 --> 00:48:03,246
David told me.
822
00:48:05,449 --> 00:48:07,316
What?
823
00:48:07,318 --> 00:48:09,118
Is that true?
824
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:13,356
- I'm sorry.
- shut up!
825
00:48:13,358 --> 00:48:15,291
- is that true?
- I didn't mean to say it--
826
00:48:15,293 --> 00:48:19,262
just please stop talking!
Why are you such a bitch to me?
827
00:48:19,264 --> 00:48:22,064
Let's go, timmy.
No, I know.
You take her side!
828
00:48:22,066 --> 00:48:24,066
I'm not taking
anyone's side.
Of course you are.
829
00:48:24,068 --> 00:48:26,002
You don't give a crap
about me or peter!
830
00:48:26,004 --> 00:48:28,404
Come on. Let's just cross
the river, okay, guys?
831
00:48:28,406 --> 00:48:30,539
Stop being a pussy!
832
00:48:30,541 --> 00:48:33,409
You have to realize
that everyone in the world
is full of shit, okay?
833
00:48:33,411 --> 00:48:36,012
He doesn't give a crap
about you, me or finding
the labrador duck.
834
00:48:36,014 --> 00:48:37,947
He just wants to pork
ellen of troy over there!
835
00:48:37,949 --> 00:48:41,984
I am not a pussy,
okay?
What are you talking about?
836
00:48:41,986 --> 00:48:46,255
Every time I look at you,
you're trying to talk to her
and feel her up.
837
00:48:46,257 --> 00:48:49,325
Don't get your hopes up, dave.
She's probably just
dork-baiting you!
838
00:48:49,327 --> 00:48:51,661
I don't even like ellen!
You don't know anything
about me!
839
00:48:51,663 --> 00:48:54,130
Oh, yeah!
I wouldn't know anything
about my best friend!
840
00:48:54,132 --> 00:48:56,332
[ Gasping ]
Because his mom died
he's all messed up or whatever!
841
00:48:58,035 --> 00:48:59,702
Fuck you!
842
00:48:59,704 --> 00:49:02,038
- [ Timmy ] shit!
- [ Ellen ]
Are you okay?
843
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:05,508
- [ Gasping ]
- [ David ]
Peter. You all right?
844
00:49:05,510 --> 00:49:07,343
Peter.
His inhaler!
845
00:49:07,345 --> 00:49:11,080
Where is it?
Shit. Okay, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop.
846
00:49:11,082 --> 00:49:13,082
It's okay. Stand up,
stand up. Go on!
847
00:49:13,084 --> 00:49:15,318
[ Ellen ]
Peter, stand up.
Peter, stand up!
848
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:17,186
Stand up.
Come on. Get it.
849
00:49:17,188 --> 00:49:19,055
You gotta get him
to the shore.
I know, I know!
850
00:49:19,057 --> 00:49:21,290
Okay, okay. Come on.
This side. This side,
this side, this side.
851
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:23,025
[ Peter wheezes, coughs ]
852
00:49:23,027 --> 00:49:25,328
[ Peter gasping ]
853
00:49:25,330 --> 00:49:27,063
[ Timmy ]
Oh, my god!
It's so cold!
854
00:49:27,065 --> 00:49:29,098
Up. Come on.
Oh, my god.
855
00:49:29,100 --> 00:49:30,733
- [ Ellen ] okay.
- [ Timmy gasps ]
856
00:49:30,735 --> 00:49:33,135
- [ David ] oh!
- [ Ellen ] guys,
it's sounding really bad!
857
00:49:33,137 --> 00:49:34,637
[ Coughing ]
Okay, okay, okay.
858
00:49:34,639 --> 00:49:39,141
I'm just gonna give you
mouth-to-mouth, okay?
Lean back. Lean back.
859
00:49:39,143 --> 00:49:41,610
- stop. Okay, ready?
One, two, three.
- no.
860
00:49:41,612 --> 00:49:44,213
[ Coughing ]
861
00:49:44,215 --> 00:49:46,282
[ Ellen ]
Guys!
Oh! I got it!
862
00:49:46,284 --> 00:49:48,150
I found it!
Yes! Yes!
863
00:49:48,152 --> 00:49:50,086
- throw it to me!
- [ David ] yes. Come on!
864
00:49:50,088 --> 00:49:51,620
[ Peter gasping ]
865
00:49:51,622 --> 00:49:53,723
[ Ellen ]
Timmy, just throw it!
[ Peter coughs ]
866
00:49:53,725 --> 00:49:55,725
Oh, shit. Okay.
867
00:49:55,727 --> 00:49:57,560
Throw it!
All-all right. Okay.
868
00:49:57,562 --> 00:50:00,062
Okay. Oh, god!
869
00:50:00,064 --> 00:50:02,098
- what the hell, timmy!
- are you trying to kill him?!
870
00:50:02,100 --> 00:50:03,399
I'm sorry!
I'm a birder!
871
00:50:03,401 --> 00:50:05,134
I got it.
872
00:50:06,136 --> 00:50:08,471
Okay, now--
peter!
873
00:50:08,473 --> 00:50:11,507
[ Wheezing ]
874
00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:15,511
[ Inhaler hisses ]
Yeah.
[ Sighs ]
875
00:50:15,513 --> 00:50:17,480
It's over.
876
00:50:17,482 --> 00:50:20,683
[ Both panting ]
877
00:50:20,685 --> 00:50:23,519
That sucked!
[ Panting ]
878
00:50:25,522 --> 00:50:27,490
[ David ]
Are you all right?
879
00:50:28,725 --> 00:50:30,726
[ Exhales ]
[ Grunts ]
880
00:50:30,728 --> 00:50:32,395
You okay?
881
00:50:38,769 --> 00:50:40,569
Thanks again
for the t-shirt.
882
00:50:40,571 --> 00:50:42,638
It's a good color
for you.
883
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:45,041
It really is.
[ Owl hooting ]
884
00:50:45,043 --> 00:50:46,709
- [ Ellen ]
So how long--
- shh.
885
00:50:47,711 --> 00:50:49,745
[ Hooting ]
886
00:50:49,747 --> 00:50:51,580
Great horned owl.
887
00:50:51,582 --> 00:50:53,616
Nice.
888
00:50:56,286 --> 00:50:58,087
Personal frickin' hobbit.
889
00:50:58,089 --> 00:51:00,623
There are tons of girls
out there, timmy.
890
00:51:00,625 --> 00:51:03,759
Easy for you to say,
Miss I-have-crazy-wild-sex-
Whenever-i-want.
891
00:51:03,761 --> 00:51:05,461
What?
892
00:51:05,463 --> 00:51:07,463
You don't have to rub it
in our faces.
893
00:51:07,465 --> 00:51:09,165
What are you
talking about?
894
00:51:09,167 --> 00:51:11,367
I've never even
had sex, okay?
895
00:51:11,369 --> 00:51:13,803
That's bullshit.
You're dating a guy in a band.
896
00:51:13,805 --> 00:51:16,806
We've only kissed, and he
lives in Minnesota anyway.
897
00:51:18,675 --> 00:51:22,778
- is that where you're from?
- I lived there for a year.
898
00:51:22,780 --> 00:51:28,617
And then before that Delaware,
Texas, guam and germany.
899
00:51:28,619 --> 00:51:30,419
Germany. Yeah.
900
00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:32,655
My dad's
in the air force.
901
00:51:32,657 --> 00:51:35,191
That's so badass.
902
00:51:36,828 --> 00:51:42,731
I'm always the new girl,
and then whenever I make
a friend, we move.
903
00:51:42,733 --> 00:51:44,834
Where are you going next?
904
00:51:44,836 --> 00:51:48,704
Actually, it looks like
we'll be in somers for good now.
905
00:51:53,610 --> 00:51:56,812
Okay, well,
I have a confession to make.
906
00:51:56,814 --> 00:51:59,849
Um...
907
00:51:59,851 --> 00:52:03,519
Technically speaking,
I've never...
Really done a girl.
908
00:52:03,521 --> 00:52:05,721
Not even missionary style.
909
00:52:05,723 --> 00:52:08,424
You're 15. It's okay.
910
00:52:08,426 --> 00:52:11,160
It's not a big deal.
I've only kissed,
like, one boy.
911
00:52:13,363 --> 00:52:15,197
Okay, well, I have
another confession to make.
912
00:52:15,199 --> 00:52:17,366
Um...
913
00:52:17,368 --> 00:52:20,536
Technically speaking,
I've never...
914
00:52:20,538 --> 00:52:23,439
Really kissed a girl.
915
00:52:23,441 --> 00:52:25,441
Me neither.
916
00:52:30,814 --> 00:52:32,882
- spin the stick?
- right.
917
00:52:34,684 --> 00:52:37,586
I've, um--
I've never really
kissed a girl either.
918
00:52:37,588 --> 00:52:39,688
No!
919
00:52:39,690 --> 00:52:40,856
[ Ellen, david chuckle ]
920
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:44,727
Sorry.
921
00:52:44,729 --> 00:52:47,663
[ Laughing ]
That's what
I asked him.
922
00:52:47,665 --> 00:52:50,232
Don't patronize me.
That's what happened.
923
00:52:50,234 --> 00:52:52,668
I can tell you that story
does not get better with age,
924
00:52:52,670 --> 00:52:54,470
unlike this wine.
925
00:52:54,472 --> 00:52:56,772
Thank you.
Not from a box.
Special occasion?
926
00:52:56,774 --> 00:53:00,943
- so you bribed a cop?
- I invented a great meal,
thank you very much.
927
00:53:00,945 --> 00:53:03,679
[ Woman ] debatable.
[ Man ] french fries
with honey...
928
00:53:03,681 --> 00:53:05,381
Is not that great
a meal.
929
00:53:05,383 --> 00:53:07,917
It's paying for david's college,
so no complaining.
930
00:53:07,919 --> 00:53:09,652
Where is david anyway?
931
00:53:09,654 --> 00:53:15,324
He's, uh-- he's actually
on a bird-watching trip.
932
00:53:15,326 --> 00:53:17,226
I didn't know
he was still into all that.
933
00:53:17,228 --> 00:53:19,862
Oh, yeah.
Definitely into it.
934
00:53:19,864 --> 00:53:22,598
- [ Woman ] that's great.
- is he still planning
on skipping college...
935
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:24,867
And making wildlife films?
936
00:53:26,336 --> 00:53:29,438
What? When did he
tell you that, ted?
937
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:32,575
I don't know. The--
the last time I saw him.
938
00:53:32,577 --> 00:53:34,910
At the, you know--
the funeral.
939
00:53:34,912 --> 00:53:37,346
Uh--
[ Ted chuckles ]
What?
940
00:53:37,348 --> 00:53:39,715
No, I guess
we haven't talked about it.
941
00:53:40,817 --> 00:53:43,385
All right.
Would you like some more wine?
942
00:53:43,387 --> 00:53:45,821
Yes!
Of course.
943
00:53:45,823 --> 00:53:47,489
[ Ted laughs ] you would.
[ Woman ] what's that
supposed to mean?
944
00:53:47,491 --> 00:53:49,425
[ Mara ] really?
[ Ted ]
Just saying.
945
00:53:49,427 --> 00:53:52,761
[ Insects chirping ]
946
00:53:52,763 --> 00:53:54,597
Hey, peter?
Yeah?
947
00:53:55,966 --> 00:53:58,901
Do you ever wish that earth
was more like middle-earth?
948
00:54:00,237 --> 00:54:01,704
All the time.
949
00:54:03,306 --> 00:54:04,740
[ Branch snapping ]
950
00:54:05,675 --> 00:54:07,376
Drug lords.
951
00:54:09,579 --> 00:54:11,313
I'll stand guard.
952
00:54:25,962 --> 00:54:27,630
Yes!
953
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:45,781
- I can see you.
- oh, jesus!
954
00:54:45,783 --> 00:54:48,050
- close your eyes, all right?
- sorry.
955
00:54:56,493 --> 00:54:58,327
Done.
956
00:54:58,329 --> 00:54:59,795
Sorry.
957
00:55:04,634 --> 00:55:06,068
Can I see?
958
00:55:07,671 --> 00:55:08,871
Sure.
959
00:55:15,879 --> 00:55:17,413
There it is.
960
00:55:17,415 --> 00:55:20,916
First drawing?
Yeah.
961
00:55:20,918 --> 00:55:25,054
Really trying
to perfect that one. Yeah?
962
00:55:25,056 --> 00:55:27,323
Yeah, it's-- it's weird.
963
00:55:29,025 --> 00:55:30,826
It's fine.
964
00:55:37,834 --> 00:55:41,837
Last year I came home early
from school one time
and my dad was doing drugs.
965
00:55:45,408 --> 00:55:46,809
Wait.
966
00:55:46,811 --> 00:55:48,644
Like "drug" drugs?
967
00:55:48,646 --> 00:55:50,546
Yeah.
968
00:55:50,548 --> 00:55:52,681
Like snorting
crushed oxycontin.
969
00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,983
It was pretty intense.
970
00:55:56,720 --> 00:56:00,456
I have this image
stuck in my head
of his face when he saw me.
971
00:56:02,625 --> 00:56:04,893
I've never told anyone
except for my shrink.
972
00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:09,765
I-i have a shrink too.
973
00:56:09,767 --> 00:56:11,767
Yeah, I would hope so.
974
00:56:16,439 --> 00:56:19,007
Your dad's getting married
in, like, 20 hours.
975
00:56:20,643 --> 00:56:22,144
Yeah.
976
00:56:24,547 --> 00:56:27,516
And you said
he's marrying
your mom's nurse?
977
00:56:27,518 --> 00:56:29,051
Yeah.
978
00:56:31,020 --> 00:56:32,855
Was there, like--
979
00:56:32,857 --> 00:56:34,923
forget it. I--
o-overlap?
980
00:56:36,493 --> 00:56:40,829
Yeah. I don't know.
Maybe.
981
00:56:40,831 --> 00:56:42,631
I'm sure that there wasn't.
I mean, I--
982
00:56:42,633 --> 00:56:44,700
my mom was sick
for a long time.
983
00:56:44,702 --> 00:56:46,702
I've definitely
thought about it.
984
00:56:51,074 --> 00:56:53,876
You know...
985
00:56:53,878 --> 00:56:57,713
You're actually
a lot easier to talk to
than my shrink.
986
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:02,985
And definitely a lot easier
to talk to than timmy and peter.
987
00:57:02,987 --> 00:57:05,454
[ Chuckles ]
988
00:57:05,456 --> 00:57:06,922
Thanks.
989
00:57:10,059 --> 00:57:12,628
I don't really
have a boyfriend.
990
00:57:14,931 --> 00:57:17,199
He was just a guy
that I kissed at a party,
991
00:57:17,201 --> 00:57:20,936
and I said
he was my boyfriend,
but... He's not.
992
00:57:27,177 --> 00:57:28,811
Okay.
993
00:57:39,923 --> 00:57:41,557
Yeah, so--
994
00:57:42,559 --> 00:57:44,526
I should go back to bed.
995
00:57:45,595 --> 00:57:48,664
Okay, I'll--
I guess I'll guard.
996
00:57:48,666 --> 00:57:52,468
Sit guard.
Right. Okay. Yeah.
997
00:57:52,470 --> 00:57:53,735
All right,
well, good night.
Night.
998
00:57:53,737 --> 00:57:54,937
Night.
999
00:58:01,911 --> 00:58:03,579
Awesome.
1000
00:58:27,003 --> 00:58:29,238
[ Footsteps ]
Shh.
1001
00:58:42,752 --> 00:58:45,754
[ Vehicles approaching ]
1002
00:58:52,662 --> 00:58:54,196
What was that?
1003
00:58:54,198 --> 00:58:55,898
I don't know.
1004
00:58:56,833 --> 00:58:58,166
Timmy?
1005
00:58:58,168 --> 00:59:00,536
[ Timmy ]
Goddamn drug lords!
1006
00:59:02,672 --> 00:59:06,275
[ Grunting ]
Wait up.
1007
00:59:09,979 --> 00:59:12,047
[ David ]
Timmy! Timmy.
1008
00:59:14,250 --> 00:59:16,985
It's go time.
Wait, wait.
Your plan is to knife them?
1009
00:59:16,987 --> 00:59:19,288
Just put away
the knife, timmy.
1010
00:59:19,290 --> 00:59:21,323
It's your funeral.
1011
00:59:30,233 --> 00:59:34,136
Whoa. Nice outfits.
How we doin'?
1012
00:59:35,171 --> 00:59:37,306
Any luck
finding the labrador?
1013
00:59:37,308 --> 00:59:39,074
Why are you
following us?
1014
00:59:39,076 --> 00:59:41,143
We're actually
following our guide.
1015
00:59:41,145 --> 00:59:42,911
Who's your guide?
1016
00:59:47,183 --> 00:59:48,784
Gentlemen!
1017
00:59:49,819 --> 00:59:52,321
[ Konrad ]
Birding on an AT.V.
1018
00:59:52,323 --> 00:59:55,190
Seems like
an oxymoron,
1019
00:59:55,192 --> 00:59:58,260
but it gets the job done.
1020
00:59:58,262 --> 01:00:02,030
You know, ever since
you boys left my office,
1021
01:00:02,032 --> 01:00:03,699
I've been kicking myself.
1022
01:00:03,701 --> 01:00:06,335
How could I,
a noted veteran of the field,
1023
01:00:06,337 --> 01:00:10,305
entrust what is probably
the biggest ornithological find
of the century...
1024
01:00:10,307 --> 01:00:13,241
To-- no offense now--
amateurs?
1025
01:00:13,243 --> 01:00:16,211
Lately I've been spending
a bit of time guiding
these gentlemen here,
1026
01:00:16,213 --> 01:00:19,247
and I just thought
the more chaps helping--
we don't need your help.
1027
01:00:21,751 --> 01:00:25,354
Well, I think we can all agree
that the most important thing
here is finding the bird.
1028
01:00:25,356 --> 01:00:28,190
We're simply doubling
the size of our search party.
1029
01:00:28,192 --> 01:00:29,958
Just a few years ago,
1030
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:32,628
even with hundreds of people
combing that Arkansas bayou,
1031
01:00:32,630 --> 01:00:34,763
we still couldn't prove
our claim on finding--
yeah, we know.
1032
01:00:34,765 --> 01:00:37,165
The ivory-billed
woodpecker.
We're fans.
1033
01:00:37,167 --> 01:00:40,268
You're trying to poach
our sighting.
1034
01:00:40,270 --> 01:00:42,004
Who's the new girl?
1035
01:00:43,373 --> 01:00:45,173
Her name's ellen.
1036
01:00:45,175 --> 01:00:48,844
Guys. I'm sorry.
Can we take a second?
1037
01:00:48,846 --> 01:00:50,278
Of course.
1038
01:00:57,086 --> 01:00:59,888
What--
sorry.
1039
01:01:07,697 --> 01:01:10,365
- iis non credo.
- verum est.
1040
01:01:10,367 --> 01:01:12,334
Fugiamus.
1041
01:01:12,336 --> 01:01:14,136
Consentiens frustrabo.
1042
01:01:15,772 --> 01:01:17,439
Carpe diem?
1043
01:01:18,908 --> 01:01:20,108
[ Boys ]
Carpe diem.
1044
01:01:21,978 --> 01:01:25,847
So you're saying we're all gonna
get a shared sighting credit?
1045
01:01:25,849 --> 01:01:28,950
Oh, certainly. I'm sorry.
I should have prefaced
all this by saying--
1046
01:01:28,952 --> 01:01:32,421
it's fine. We think
we saw something flying
south a few hours ago,
1047
01:01:32,423 --> 01:01:34,756
heading toward cross lake.
I think we should
stick with cedar's.
1048
01:01:34,758 --> 01:01:36,992
It's the most obvious choice.
1049
01:01:36,994 --> 01:01:39,895
Of course. We can split up.
We'll go to cedar, and you
can go to the river--
1050
01:01:39,897 --> 01:01:42,464
a sea duck
resting on a river?
1051
01:01:42,466 --> 01:01:45,100
Have you even been
birding before?
1052
01:01:45,102 --> 01:01:46,234
- [ Timmy ] watch it.
- oh, really?
1053
01:01:46,236 --> 01:01:47,836
It's just what I saw.
1054
01:01:47,838 --> 01:01:49,271
[ Peter ]
Eos abducam.
1055
01:01:49,273 --> 01:01:51,273
- peter.
- hey.
1056
01:01:51,275 --> 01:01:53,375
- peter, what are you doing?
- non sum vagina.
1057
01:01:53,377 --> 01:01:55,343
Hey!
No, no, no, no!
1058
01:01:55,345 --> 01:01:57,145
[ Peter shouts ]
Hey, off,
you crazy kid!
1059
01:01:57,147 --> 01:02:00,348
Stop! Stop!
1060
01:02:00,350 --> 01:02:03,852
Get off the--
are you crazy?
Are you insane?
1061
01:02:03,854 --> 01:02:05,454
[ Jeff ]
Go, go, go!
1062
01:02:05,456 --> 01:02:06,855
Come on!
Get on! Get on!
1063
01:02:14,130 --> 01:02:16,732
Holy shit!
Thrilling.
1064
01:02:18,234 --> 01:02:20,135
So what now?
1065
01:02:20,137 --> 01:02:22,771
What do you mean?
I don't know.
1066
01:02:22,773 --> 01:02:24,840
Peter just stole
your friend's AT.V.,
1067
01:02:24,842 --> 01:02:27,008
and you're trying to
steal our sighting.
1068
01:02:27,010 --> 01:02:29,444
- just that.
- that's one way
of looking at it.
1069
01:02:29,446 --> 01:02:31,747
Another way is to say
that we're four birders...
1070
01:02:31,749 --> 01:02:35,016
Looking to find
an extinct duck, standing
on the brink of history.
1071
01:02:35,018 --> 01:02:38,186
How do we know you're not
gonna steal the credit
for the sighting?
1072
01:02:48,097 --> 01:02:49,531
Are we cool?
1073
01:02:50,466 --> 01:02:52,100
Yes.
1074
01:02:54,804 --> 01:02:57,839
Miguel forgot a tie.
You have one?
1075
01:02:57,841 --> 01:02:59,541
He's not gonna want
one of my ties.
1076
01:02:59,543 --> 01:03:01,777
Let me see
what david has.
1077
01:03:21,097 --> 01:03:23,165
[ Sighs ]
1078
01:03:45,988 --> 01:03:47,956
Don, I'm gonna need
the list for the--
1079
01:03:49,525 --> 01:03:51,593
what the hell
is all this?
1080
01:03:53,529 --> 01:03:56,131
I think I might be
an asshole, ted.
1081
01:04:01,571 --> 01:04:04,873
[ Konrad ]
It's rare I go birding
with the younger generation.
1082
01:04:04,875 --> 01:04:08,143
I had hoped that my daughter
would follow in my footsteps,
1083
01:04:08,145 --> 01:04:11,179
but she and my ex-wife
detest me.
1084
01:04:13,182 --> 01:04:15,984
Did you and your mother
bird together?
1085
01:04:15,986 --> 01:04:18,386
Yes. A lot.
1086
01:04:18,388 --> 01:04:21,623
She would have
adored this.
1087
01:04:21,625 --> 01:04:24,159
You probably don't remember,
but back in the '90s,
1088
01:04:24,161 --> 01:04:27,095
she discovered a new colony
of piping plovers.
1089
01:04:27,097 --> 01:04:29,231
Piping plovers. I have
all the newspaper clippings.
1090
01:04:32,301 --> 01:04:34,970
There's nothing like
the feeling of discovery.
1091
01:04:40,543 --> 01:04:44,613
How's your father doing?
It must be difficult
for the two of you now.
1092
01:04:44,615 --> 01:04:46,948
He's, uh,
he's getting married.
1093
01:04:47,917 --> 01:04:50,485
I see.
1094
01:04:50,487 --> 01:04:53,922
Yeah.
Well, everyone
copes differently.
1095
01:04:53,924 --> 01:04:56,658
Yeah. And some people
are just dicks.
1096
01:05:00,263 --> 01:05:03,365
Your father
is not a dick.
1097
01:05:03,367 --> 01:05:06,101
I'm sorry,
but you don't know him.
1098
01:05:06,103 --> 01:05:09,204
Well, I do, actually.
1099
01:05:09,206 --> 01:05:12,073
He helped with archiving
dotty's research materials...
1100
01:05:12,075 --> 01:05:14,075
At the magazine
after she died.
1101
01:05:15,211 --> 01:05:17,345
What?
1102
01:05:17,347 --> 01:05:20,548
Wait, wait, how?
How is that possible?
1103
01:05:23,586 --> 01:05:25,620
Birds are my muses.
1104
01:05:27,123 --> 01:05:31,326
And I strive to be
a true watcher.
1105
01:05:31,328 --> 01:05:34,329
I can remember when I spotted my
first greater prairie chicken...
1106
01:05:34,331 --> 01:05:36,197
But not
my own daughter's birthday.
1107
01:05:36,199 --> 01:05:38,066
But you're already--
1108
01:05:38,068 --> 01:05:40,635
I'm 63 years old
and very much alone.
1109
01:05:40,637 --> 01:05:43,004
I guide assholes
for money.
1110
01:05:43,006 --> 01:05:46,041
I have one leg
and no driver's license.
1111
01:05:46,043 --> 01:05:48,543
Please do not confuse me
with a role model.
1112
01:05:54,116 --> 01:05:56,318
Why don't you have
a driver's license?
1113
01:05:56,320 --> 01:05:58,420
A bit of a mix-up...
1114
01:05:58,422 --> 01:06:03,358
Between what I thought
was an albino nighthawk
and a high-speed police chase.
1115
01:06:08,064 --> 01:06:09,631
[ Dotty ]
Get your binoculars out.
1116
01:06:09,633 --> 01:06:12,600
Okay, keep looking.
Keep looking.
See if you see it.
1117
01:06:36,058 --> 01:06:37,559
Remarkable.
1118
01:06:38,728 --> 01:06:41,262
Yeah, it's empty
though.
1119
01:06:41,264 --> 01:06:42,764
[ Exhales ]
Here goes nothin'.
1120
01:06:44,100 --> 01:06:46,768
[ Quacking ]
1121
01:06:48,637 --> 01:06:50,271
[ Duck quacking ]
1122
01:06:50,273 --> 01:06:54,342
Was that it?
Maybe.
It was a little muffled.
1123
01:06:54,344 --> 01:06:57,045
No, it was definitely
a greeting call.
1124
01:06:57,047 --> 01:06:59,381
- [ David ]
I think that maybe it was--
- oh, my god!
1125
01:06:59,383 --> 01:07:02,384
That would be
a male mallard.
Oh.
1126
01:07:02,386 --> 01:07:04,419
[ Quacking ]
[ David ]
Wait.
1127
01:07:04,421 --> 01:07:06,454
Why did it answer
to a scoter call?
1128
01:07:07,590 --> 01:07:09,657
Maybe it was raised
by scoters.
1129
01:07:09,659 --> 01:07:12,193
It was not raised
by scoters, okay?
1130
01:07:14,730 --> 01:07:19,100
[ David ] cross lake
is a few miles up. I think
maybe we should just go there.
1131
01:07:19,102 --> 01:07:21,369
Why would it go
to the lake that's
farther from shore?
1132
01:07:21,371 --> 01:07:24,239
It's not unheard of.
It's practically
unheard of.
1133
01:07:24,241 --> 01:07:26,374
Guys?
1134
01:07:26,376 --> 01:07:28,410
Is that your duck,
david?
1135
01:07:36,452 --> 01:07:38,186
Oh, my god.
1136
01:07:39,822 --> 01:07:41,456
[ Ellen ]
What's it doing?
1137
01:07:41,458 --> 01:07:43,558
[ David ]
Shh. It's preening.
1138
01:07:46,395 --> 01:07:49,064
The light
couldn't be better.
1139
01:07:49,066 --> 01:07:50,665
[ Konrad ]
It's a magnificent bird.
1140
01:08:04,747 --> 01:08:07,849
[ Shutter clicking ]
1141
01:08:23,466 --> 01:08:25,100
- [ Gunshot ]
- [ Timmy ] shit!
1142
01:08:42,852 --> 01:08:44,886
Hey, fellas!
What the hell, man!
1143
01:08:44,888 --> 01:08:47,222
[ Vehicles approaching ]
I'm carl senior.
1144
01:08:47,224 --> 01:08:49,157
This is my son,
carl junior.
1145
01:08:49,159 --> 01:08:51,826
- oh, awesome!
You just shot an extinct duck!
- timmy, calm down.
1146
01:08:51,828 --> 01:08:53,862
I'm not sure you know
what that word means.
1147
01:08:53,864 --> 01:08:56,364
[ Jeff ]
Your friend is nuts!
1148
01:08:56,366 --> 01:08:58,633
[ Dog barking ]
[ Jeff ]
Whoa.
1149
01:08:58,635 --> 01:09:00,702
[ Carl sr. ]
Easy, cruise.
[ Jeff ] hey.
1150
01:09:03,272 --> 01:09:05,640
[ Peter ]
Whoa.
1151
01:09:05,642 --> 01:09:08,376
- how did this happen?
- these morons shot it.
1152
01:09:08,378 --> 01:09:11,779
Everyone, relax.
You shot
an extinct duck, sir.
1153
01:09:11,781 --> 01:09:14,916
Does extinct mean
something different these days?
[ Duck quacking ]
1154
01:09:16,218 --> 01:09:17,719
[ Wings flapping ]
1155
01:09:21,257 --> 01:09:25,460
[ Wings flapping ]
[ Quacking ]
1156
01:09:25,462 --> 01:09:27,362
It's suffering.
1157
01:09:27,364 --> 01:09:30,565
[ Carl sr. ]
Give it to me. Please.
1158
01:09:32,601 --> 01:09:34,202
Please.
1159
01:09:39,742 --> 01:09:41,576
[ Neck snaps ]
1160
01:09:41,578 --> 01:09:44,379
[ Sighs, coughs ]
[ Konrad ]
May I see the animal?
1161
01:09:52,555 --> 01:09:55,356
[ Konrad ]
This isn't a labrador duck.
[ Timmy ] what?
1162
01:09:55,358 --> 01:09:59,260
Its neck does decline strangely,
but I think what we have here...
1163
01:09:59,262 --> 01:10:01,963
Is an oddly-plumaged
hybrid mallard.
1164
01:10:01,965 --> 01:10:05,400
- look at the wing markings.
- see, the wing markings
always concerned me.
1165
01:10:05,402 --> 01:10:07,202
Yep. It's definitely
an odd hybrid of sorts.
1166
01:10:07,204 --> 01:10:09,837
Just shut up, jeff.
[ Carl sr. ]
If it's okay with you guys,
1167
01:10:09,839 --> 01:10:12,540
we'd like to take the duck
for our banquet.
1168
01:10:12,542 --> 01:10:15,376
Banquet?
We're hunting
for our church banquet.
1169
01:10:15,378 --> 01:10:18,479
All the proceeds are going
to the save darfur foundation.
1170
01:10:18,481 --> 01:10:21,849
Well, that's a bit
of silver lining.
1171
01:10:21,851 --> 01:10:23,885
David, it's--
1172
01:10:26,255 --> 01:10:28,289
david, it was just
a hybrid mallard.
1173
01:10:37,266 --> 01:10:39,968
[ Sobs ]
1174
01:10:45,841 --> 01:10:48,610
[ Exhales ]
It looked at me.
1175
01:10:52,481 --> 01:10:54,482
It didn't have to suffer.
1176
01:10:55,451 --> 01:10:56,918
I know.
1177
01:11:01,824 --> 01:11:03,858
Why did she have to die?
1178
01:11:07,029 --> 01:11:10,465
[ Sobbing ]
1179
01:11:11,634 --> 01:11:13,668
I don't know why.
1180
01:11:17,006 --> 01:11:19,040
[ Sobbing ]
1181
01:11:21,944 --> 01:11:24,946
You know in Indiana jones
and the temple of doom,
1182
01:11:24,948 --> 01:11:27,815
the bad guy that goes around
and rips the heart
out of people...
1183
01:11:27,817 --> 01:11:30,718
And holds it up
in front of their face
so they watch it beat?
1184
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:33,788
Yeah,
I hate that part.
[ Sniffles ]
1185
01:11:42,298 --> 01:11:45,667
[ Breathes deeply ]
1186
01:11:45,669 --> 01:11:48,670
I don't see how
it'll ever stop hurting.
1187
01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:55,643
Well, um, maybe one day...
1188
01:11:55,645 --> 01:12:00,748
It'll feel less awful
than "ripping an organ
out of your chest" pain.
1189
01:12:02,484 --> 01:12:04,686
But my guess is
it'll always hurt.
1190
01:12:13,562 --> 01:12:15,029
Yeah.
1191
01:12:18,867 --> 01:12:20,902
[ Sniffles ]
1192
01:12:20,904 --> 01:12:23,404
Thank you.
You're welcome.
1193
01:12:28,677 --> 01:12:31,379
What-what time is it?
1194
01:12:31,381 --> 01:12:34,415
I don't know.
I think my phone died
three hours ago.
1195
01:12:34,417 --> 01:12:36,017
Will we make it back
for the wedding?
1196
01:12:36,019 --> 01:12:39,120
I mean, we don't have a car.
I wonder if I have
cell service.
1197
01:12:40,422 --> 01:12:42,390
- oh, my god.
- what?
1198
01:12:42,392 --> 01:12:44,459
What?
Oh, my god, no.
1199
01:12:52,835 --> 01:12:55,570
This is--
this is worse
than it looks.
1200
01:12:55,572 --> 01:12:57,472
- we need to get you home.
- [ David ] yeah.
1201
01:13:16,492 --> 01:13:18,760
So, those guys
weren't really drug lords.
1202
01:13:18,762 --> 01:13:21,496
No, they were pretty much
the opposite of drug lords.
1203
01:13:24,833 --> 01:13:26,934
[ Ellen ]
You're not going
to taste that, are you?
1204
01:13:29,471 --> 01:13:31,606
Just kidding.
It's rock candy.
1205
01:13:31,608 --> 01:13:34,575
- I said it was rock candy!
- your first correct I.d.
1206
01:13:34,577 --> 01:13:36,911
It's going on
my life list.
1207
01:13:48,957 --> 01:13:51,025
[ Man ]
Now we'll hear
a musical selection...
1208
01:13:51,027 --> 01:13:54,695
From the son of the bride,
miguel santos.
1209
01:13:54,697 --> 01:13:56,164
Miguel?
1210
01:14:04,173 --> 01:14:09,677
♪ Meet Me Tonight
In dreamland ♪
1211
01:14:09,679 --> 01:14:14,482
♪ Under The Silv'ry Moon ♪
1212
01:14:14,484 --> 01:14:19,554
♪ Meet Me Tonight
In dreamland ♪
1213
01:14:19,556 --> 01:14:24,525
♪ Where Love's
Sweet roses bloom ♪
1214
01:14:24,527 --> 01:14:28,095
♪ Meet Me In Dreamland ♪
1215
01:14:28,097 --> 01:14:34,001
♪ Oh, Sweet Dreamy Dreamland ♪
1216
01:14:34,003 --> 01:14:39,040
♪ There Make My Dreams ♪
1217
01:14:39,042 --> 01:14:44,145
♪ Come True ♪
1218
01:14:49,184 --> 01:14:51,652
Thank you, miguel.
1219
01:14:51,654 --> 01:14:55,223
Mm! And now the rings.
1220
01:14:55,225 --> 01:14:56,891
David?
1221
01:15:07,836 --> 01:15:09,904
Working at
your own wedding?
1222
01:15:09,906 --> 01:15:13,508
Right?
It's pretty messed up.
1223
01:15:13,510 --> 01:15:15,877
You know, there's a million
people to talk to out there.
1224
01:15:15,879 --> 01:15:19,113
I know. It's what I get
for hiring eric, I guess.
1225
01:15:19,115 --> 01:15:21,883
That is what you get.
1226
01:15:33,095 --> 01:15:35,062
Dad?
1227
01:15:35,064 --> 01:15:36,764
Yeah?
1228
01:15:40,102 --> 01:15:42,103
Were you seeing juliana...
1229
01:15:43,872 --> 01:15:45,907
Before or after mom--
1230
01:15:47,276 --> 01:15:49,176
definitely after.
1231
01:15:53,682 --> 01:15:55,049
Good.
1232
01:16:03,091 --> 01:16:06,060
Your mother
was the love of my life.
1233
01:16:06,995 --> 01:16:08,796
You know that.
1234
01:16:11,300 --> 01:16:13,067
No, I didn't.
1235
01:16:16,772 --> 01:16:20,641
Oh, jesus christ!
1236
01:16:22,311 --> 01:16:26,714
David, I'm sorry.
I should have done a better job
of explaining it all.
1237
01:16:26,716 --> 01:16:28,649
We spoke about it.
No, we didn't.
1238
01:16:28,651 --> 01:16:30,818
We didn't speak about it.
Not really.
1239
01:16:31,753 --> 01:16:33,287
We didn't.
1240
01:16:39,127 --> 01:16:42,863
You know, it's--
you remember that--
1241
01:16:42,865 --> 01:16:45,366
I just don't want to pretend
that we don't Miss mom.
1242
01:16:48,804 --> 01:16:50,237
Me either.
1243
01:16:56,044 --> 01:16:58,112
Wanna grab that chicken?
1244
01:17:09,992 --> 01:17:12,927
[ Ellen ]
They thought we were
terrorists. It was awful.
1245
01:17:12,929 --> 01:17:15,363
Hey. Excuse me.
1246
01:17:15,365 --> 01:17:17,832
Are you in a band
or something?
1247
01:17:17,834 --> 01:17:19,266
Excuse me?
1248
01:17:19,268 --> 01:17:22,136
♪ [ Jazz ]
[ Chattering ]
1249
01:17:25,307 --> 01:17:27,375
[ Feedback ]
1250
01:17:30,012 --> 01:17:32,713
[ Taps on microphone ]
Hello?
1251
01:17:32,715 --> 01:17:34,281
♪ [ Stops ]
[ Chattering continues ]
1252
01:17:34,283 --> 01:17:37,151
Hey!
[ Chattering stops ]
1253
01:17:37,153 --> 01:17:39,286
Hey, everyone. Um--
1254
01:17:40,922 --> 01:17:43,791
so technically
I'm the best man here,
1255
01:17:44,993 --> 01:17:47,828
and I guess
I'm supposed to give a toast.
1256
01:17:47,830 --> 01:17:50,331
Um--
1257
01:17:50,333 --> 01:17:52,900
[ Sighs ]
Where do I start?
The thing is,
1258
01:17:54,436 --> 01:17:58,906
the last couple of days
I've been looking
for an extinct duck.
1259
01:17:58,908 --> 01:18:00,941
[ Scattered laughter ]
No.
1260
01:18:00,943 --> 01:18:03,678
No, it's not like
a metaphor or something.
1261
01:18:03,680 --> 01:18:06,013
Turns out
it wasn't extinct.
1262
01:18:06,015 --> 01:18:08,849
Actually, it wasn't the duck
I thought it was,
1263
01:18:08,851 --> 01:18:10,818
and it got shot,
1264
01:18:10,820 --> 01:18:13,220
uh, but in a weird way,
it turns out...
1265
01:18:13,222 --> 01:18:17,024
It might actually
help the whole situation
going on in darfur.
1266
01:18:18,026 --> 01:18:20,094
Sorry. Anyway--
1267
01:18:20,096 --> 01:18:23,164
[ Exhales ]
1268
01:18:23,166 --> 01:18:26,834
I'm-i'm glad
I made it here... Today.
1269
01:18:27,969 --> 01:18:30,071
Well, the last few years
have been--
1270
01:18:31,373 --> 01:18:33,841
they've been kind of rough
for our family.
1271
01:18:33,843 --> 01:18:35,443
Um--
1272
01:18:36,445 --> 01:18:39,246
david--
I know. Sorry.
1273
01:18:39,248 --> 01:18:41,315
Dad likes to fill holes
with lists.
1274
01:18:41,317 --> 01:18:43,851
That's what he does.
1275
01:18:43,853 --> 01:18:47,455
He writes lists of everything,
like lists of lists,
1276
01:18:47,457 --> 01:18:52,426
and I like to find
rare birds, so I'm not
really one to talk, but...
1277
01:18:52,428 --> 01:18:56,363
It doesn't--
doesn't really work.
1278
01:18:56,365 --> 01:19:01,102
Which is why
I'm so glad he found juliana.
1279
01:19:01,104 --> 01:19:04,872
Because I know my mom
really liked her...
1280
01:19:04,874 --> 01:19:08,075
And my dad
obviously likes her too.
1281
01:19:09,911 --> 01:19:11,946
That's all that matters.
1282
01:19:13,882 --> 01:19:16,117
And...
1283
01:19:16,119 --> 01:19:18,119
That's why
we're all here, right?
1284
01:19:21,156 --> 01:19:22,857
So...
1285
01:19:24,392 --> 01:19:27,962
I wish them a happy
and long life together.
1286
01:19:27,964 --> 01:19:29,930
Here's to dad and juliana.
1287
01:19:42,043 --> 01:19:44,245
You were perfect.
1288
01:19:45,413 --> 01:19:47,815
♪ [ Resumes ]
1289
01:19:51,520 --> 01:19:54,555
[ Chattering ]
1290
01:19:58,794 --> 01:20:03,297
♪ [ Timmy Whistling ]
1291
01:20:03,299 --> 01:20:06,967
So, does eric know
that we, like,
destroyed his engine?
1292
01:20:08,403 --> 01:20:10,337
[ Timmy ]
Uh, you know,
1293
01:20:11,406 --> 01:20:13,240
timing's not quite right.
1294
01:20:13,242 --> 01:20:15,476
Yeah, he's not
gonna be happy.
1295
01:20:15,478 --> 01:20:20,514
I got some serious shit on him
that I've been saving
for a moment like this.
1296
01:20:20,516 --> 01:20:22,249
Got it.
1297
01:20:22,251 --> 01:20:25,152
Think I'm gonna
head home now.
Yeah, me too.
1298
01:20:26,421 --> 01:20:28,522
[ Timmy ]
Good times!
1299
01:20:28,524 --> 01:20:30,224
Totally.
1300
01:20:37,265 --> 01:20:40,367
[ Peter ]
Bye.
1301
01:20:40,369 --> 01:20:43,170
[ Peter ]
So how long should I wait
till I call kim?
1302
01:20:43,172 --> 01:20:45,973
What,
you got her number?
Yeah. [ Laughs ]
1303
01:20:45,975 --> 01:20:47,942
Why didn't you
tell me that, dude?
1304
01:20:47,944 --> 01:20:50,211
I should go too.
1305
01:20:50,213 --> 01:20:52,179
I guess.
1306
01:20:52,181 --> 01:20:55,382
So, weirdly enough,
I had a lot of fun
this weekend.
1307
01:20:55,384 --> 01:20:57,518
So did I.
1308
01:20:57,520 --> 01:20:59,620
Peter gave me
his old pair.
1309
01:20:59,622 --> 01:21:02,456
They're not as good as yours,
but I'm kinda getting the--
1310
01:21:05,627 --> 01:21:07,161
hi.
1311
01:21:15,003 --> 01:21:18,472
So, um... I guess
I'll see you tomorrow.
1312
01:21:18,474 --> 01:21:21,108
Yeah. Okay.
Definitely.
1313
01:21:24,379 --> 01:21:26,146
Bye. Yeah. Bye.
See ya.
1314
01:21:30,252 --> 01:21:34,455
[ Man ]
♪ It's Too Late Now
To rush apart ♪
1315
01:21:34,457 --> 01:21:38,359
♪ Your Aching Heart
Wasn't on fire ♪
1316
01:21:38,361 --> 01:21:42,396
♪ And If You Drain
The fluid from ♪
1317
01:21:42,398 --> 01:21:46,333
♪ My Screaming Lungs,
I know I'll die ♪
1318
01:21:49,070 --> 01:21:52,006
♪ And It's Hard To Know
What's right ♪
1319
01:21:53,008 --> 01:21:55,609
♪ I Need You Tonight ♪
1320
01:21:57,012 --> 01:22:01,916
♪ You Need Me Tonight ♪
1321
01:22:10,926 --> 01:22:14,061
♪ It's Too Late Now
To hold on to the crutch ♪
1322
01:22:14,063 --> 01:22:16,297
♪ When You Open Arms
And open hearts ♪
1323
01:22:16,299 --> 01:22:19,099
♪ They Never Open Much ♪
1324
01:22:19,101 --> 01:22:23,070
♪ If I Drain The Beauty From ♪
1325
01:22:23,072 --> 01:22:26,640
♪ Your Beating Blood,
I know I'll die ♪
1326
01:22:26,642 --> 01:22:29,944
♪ No ♪
1327
01:22:29,946 --> 01:22:34,048
♪ I Never Try To ♪
1328
01:22:41,656 --> 01:22:44,024
♪ But It's All Been Done ♪
1329
01:22:44,026 --> 01:22:47,394
♪ We'll Hold On Tight ♪
1330
01:22:47,396 --> 01:22:50,731
♪ I Will Hold Onto You ♪
1331
01:22:50,733 --> 01:22:55,669
♪ And The Feeling
Of an empty love ♪
1332
01:22:55,671 --> 01:23:00,007
♪ While I Hold Onto You ♪
1333
01:23:00,009 --> 01:23:07,481
♪ And My Lord
I know it's true ♪
1334
01:23:13,521 --> 01:23:17,391
♪ [ Guitar ]
1335
01:23:30,271 --> 01:23:34,241
[ Man ]
♪ And I've Been A-walkin'
Down that road ♪
1336
01:23:34,243 --> 01:23:39,546
♪ And I Can Feel
The wind between my toes ♪
1337
01:23:40,548 --> 01:23:43,784
♪ The Water, Oh, So Sweet ♪
1338
01:23:46,721 --> 01:23:51,225
♪ And I Been Thinkin'
Maybe it's right ♪
1339
01:23:51,227 --> 01:23:56,030
♪ And I Can Finally
Feel the things I love ♪
1340
01:23:57,032 --> 01:23:59,733
♪ Shiver When You Talk ♪
1341
01:24:02,670 --> 01:24:06,640
♪ Do Your Lips Feel All Of
The things that mine do? ♪
1342
01:24:06,642 --> 01:24:12,413
♪ Do You Feel That Tingle
Inside of your shoe? ♪
1343
01:24:14,249 --> 01:24:16,550
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
1344
01:24:19,287 --> 01:24:23,657
♪ And Nothin's ♪
1345
01:24:23,659 --> 01:24:25,826
♪ Wrong ♪
1346
01:24:25,828 --> 01:24:29,196
♪ It's Just Love ♪
1347
01:24:32,200 --> 01:24:36,370
♪ And I've Been Hurt
And my heart's empty ♪
1348
01:24:36,372 --> 01:24:39,807
♪ Soakin' In It
That is tempting ♪
1349
01:24:39,809 --> 01:24:42,476
♪ But ♪
1350
01:24:42,478 --> 01:24:45,479
♪ That All Floats Away ♪
1351
01:24:47,549 --> 01:24:50,551
♪ And My Heart's
Been breakin' ♪
1352
01:24:50,553 --> 01:24:52,653
♪ Like A Biscuit ♪
1353
01:24:52,655 --> 01:24:56,857
♪ You Are The One
Who can finally fix it ♪
1354
01:24:58,593 --> 01:25:01,528
♪ Will We Both Be Okay? ♪
1355
01:25:04,365 --> 01:25:08,368
♪ Do You Look At Our Hands
And see that they're creased ♪
1356
01:25:08,370 --> 01:25:14,108
♪ From A Trembling Here
That cannot be released ♪
1357
01:25:15,710 --> 01:25:18,212
♪ Ee-ee-ee-eee ♪
1358
01:25:20,782 --> 01:25:25,185
♪ Nothing's ♪
1359
01:25:25,187 --> 01:25:27,221
♪ Wrong ♪
1360
01:25:27,223 --> 01:25:30,424
♪ It's Just Love ♪
1361
01:25:33,361 --> 01:25:37,364
♪ Nothing's ♪
1362
01:25:37,366 --> 01:25:39,500
♪ Wrong ♪
1363
01:25:39,502 --> 01:25:42,636
♪ It's Just Love ♪
1364
01:25:49,711 --> 01:25:53,614
♪ It's Just ♪
1365
01:25:53,616 --> 01:25:55,382
♪ Love ♪