Did you hear that?
Well, I don't hear anything.
Shut your fucking mouth.
I definitely heard something.
You should go check it out.
Um, no, let's go. I have a bad feeling.
Come on. It's probably nothing.
What are you talking about? How could that be nothing?
Why are you being such a little bitch about this?
- What? - I'm sorry.
I just heard you were a fucking man.
Anything?
Uh... no.
Fuck this.
Aah!
It worked!
- Quick, do it while he's down. - Yeah.
Huh? It's not working.
Fucking Amazon.
Aaaah!
I think he barely even feels it.
I got this.
Ugh.
- Do you want to cry for help? - Go ahead, we'll wait.
- Uh... - Where's his I. D.?
Lowell Orson Lehmann?
- Lehmann. - Good name for the news.
Age 42, 6'6", 235 pounds.
- Ooh. - You realize this expires
in, like, a month, right?
You bitches made the stupidest mistake of your lives.
Ah! It speaks?
I'm gonna cut your insides out.
I'm gonna skull-fuck your severed heads
while your parents watch!
You don't know what I'm capable of.
What? Of course we know.
We're your biggest fans, dude!
Seen everything you've ever done.
Well, everything we know about. We're pretty sure it's four.
- Since last May, is that right? - Five, plus Craig.
Totes. You know, you can follow us, if you want.
It's @TragedyGirls. That's two, plural.
See this?
You wouldn't believe how relieved we were
when you started knocking off freshies.
This town can be, like, so boring.
It took us a while to figure out, but we did.
How many weeks apart before he strikes again?
You really have a thing for girls with short hair.
Fortunately for everyone, I look great in a pixie cut.
She does.
All it took was a few boys to set the trap.
Do you know how many handjobs this girl had to give?
Like 30.
But you finally showed. And you didn't disappoint.
We are gonna have so much fun together.
Oh!
Aaah!
You smell that?
That's your fucking skin burning!
Make no mistake who's in charge, bitch.
We're on the same side, you know.
We want the same things.
We just don't know everything.
- That's where you come in. - We need a trainer.
A teacher. Yoda.
Now, McKayla here... she wasn't really sold on the idea.
Hmm. I had to be convinced.
Luckily, I understand the importance
of a close student-teacher relationship.
And I bet you are dying to impart
a little of your experience
on a few ambitious up-and-comers.
Am I right?
- Gross. - Hey!
Bad Lowell! No!
- No! - We'll see how you feel
after a few days to think it over.
What the shit?
You've got to be kidding me.
You couldn't even do that right?
Craig, bae.
Ambulance.
They're on their way. Just hang in there.
You're back down to four.
Do you ever do this?
The whole "industrial lye to melt the body" thing?
We stole it from "Breaking Bad,"
but it totally works.
Yeah, it took a lot of stray cats and dogs
to get this mixture down.
- Past his bedtime. - On it!
Stay the fuck away from me! Oh!
- She's got my vote. - Really?
- Just joking, bitch. - Hey, guys! Who's left?
Hey!
Oh, they just cut Rusty and Tina,
so we're rooting for Lucy and J.T.
- How was prom planning? - Really great.
Sadie and I have some really good ideas.
Well, it's your senior year. Enjoy it!
I'll try.
But I've got a big day tomorrow, so bye.
- Good night, sweetie! - Night, baby!
- Sorry I'm late. - All good, kiddo.
Thanks for the leftovers.
- No problem. - Did you take the truck out?
Yeah. Grocery run. And, yes, I filled the tank.
That's my girl.
- Night, pop. - Night, kid.
Hey! Have you seen the cat lately?
Nope. Sorry.
Weird.
We were gonna hang out, but then he just stopped texting.
Did you guys, like, hear from him?
It's been, like, a really long time.
- Because he was such a good guy. - I know, right?
I really hope nothing bad happened to him.
It's like... poof... he vanished, right?
I'm so scared right now.
Death is just an inevitable part of life, you know?
Yeah, we have to, like, treasure
the time we have or whatever.
It's, like, anybody could be next, even you.
You can find more information
about the recent unsolved murders
on our Tragedy Girls Twitter page.
You know, if you want.
I know, right?
Okay, quiet down, everyone. Quiet.
Okay, before we get started,
I think that we need to address the elephant in the room.
Craig is a model citizen of this school.
And if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here.
Okay?
Oh.
I'm gonna leave you with the sheriff.
Mrs. Kent.
Now, I know there's been a lot of speculation
as to what happened. And at this time,
we firmly believe Craig has run away from home.
No!
I mean... how do you know?
I'm not at liberty to say.
So, there's no suspicion of foul play?
What about the recent string of deaths in the tri-town area?
Okay, girls, could we just give it a rest, please?
No, it's okay, Charlotte. There's no need to panic,
but if anyone has further information about Craig,
do not hesitate to come forward so we can bring him home safe.
Really?
There's nothing else you want to warn us about?
No, Jordan.
Not at this time.
Mrs. Kent.
Thanks, Sheriff.
I know how easy it is to spread rumors
when you're in high school,
but can we please try and be respectful?
That goes for everyone.
The sheriff's office is in full-on denial.
But are they telling the full truth?
- How was that? - Eh, I could go again.
We need to emphasize the Upworthy-ness.
'Kay, one sec.
I can't believe everyone is so calm.
I mean, there's a dangerous killer on the loose...
so to speak.
Well, they jumped the gun on bringing in Jordan's dad.
There hasn't even been a stake-raising second death.
What's with you and that mama's boy anyway?
Nothing.
We're sort of friends.
Well, you don't need any friends.
- You have me. - Aw, someone's jelly.
I'm not jelly.
He just has a pathetic crush on you.
Ever since he got held back a year, he's been super-clingy.
Put him out of his misery already.
Um, we need him for the video editing?
He's legit talented. We only got one retweet today...
from your mom.
Sad.
Fine. We'll step up our game.
Now it's important to distinguish
what kind of killers we're talking about here.
Serial killers can operate over many years
and have very distinct patterns when selecting their victims.
While spree killers don't have cooling-off periods,
and kill like 2 or more people in a short amount of time.
- So it's like a Jeffrey Dahmer... - Ugh.
- Versus a Charles Starkweather... - Hmm.
But what kind of killer is operating in Rosedale right now?
And more importantly, is he behind the disappearance
of Craig Thompson?
- And even more importantly... - Who will be next?
Yeah, so, I think my roto here works pretty well.
And, uh, you guys really sell it with the performances.
This is great, Jordan.
Yeah, feel free to stop whenever.
You know, my dad says there's no killer
because he doesn't want to scare people.
But you guys want to tell the truth,
and so do I.
Cool. So can you just, like, upload it
whenever it renders or whatever?
Yeah. Okay.
- Thanks, J. - Oh, wait!
Uh, this is yours. "Martyrs" was just horrifying.
So fucked up. It's great, right?
Yeah, yeah. Um, you know,
I've been getting into more European stuff lately,
if you ever want to... come over.
- We have cheer. - Yeah. Sorry.
Okay. Yeah. Cool. It's cool.
Uh, maybe some other time, if you ever want to...
Great. So, I'll... I'll just post this,
once it's uh, uh, once it's all good.
Hashtag Tragedy Girls!
We've got a comment on our video already.
"I made 8,000 dollars this week, working from home."
Fucking spambots.
It's like nobody cares what we're doing.
I know.
- Well, how's our new pet? - Hmm.
So boring. It's like old drifter Periscope.
I can't believe he's being such a dick about helping us.
He's like, "I'm gonna gut you like a fish."
Get over yourself, man.
Well, that's it, I guess. I don't know
how we're gonna become horror legends
without an iconic killer.
Dude, I told you, we don't need him.
Your brains, my charisma, we can do anything.
No offense, but last I checked, that didn't work out so well.
That was like a million years ago.
We could kill the juice-bar guy.
Hi.
He knows.
Sometimes I just feel like nothing I do matters.
Like, I'm not special.
Look, we're about to graduate and go to college,
and we haven't even started our first killing spree.
Is that what you want?
Of course not. But it's about the story.
It's got to be legend-worthy.
Something people will never forget.
Hmm.
Wait.
We just need 100,000 followers by prom,
and we'll be on our way.
So we steal Lowell's gross identity,
and use it to leverage our online presence.
Then we frame him for everything.
Exactly. To the next phase.
To the next phase.
Be aggressive! Be, be aggressive!
Rosedale, Rosedale, we're the best!
Growing stronger than the rest! Be aggressive!
- Be, be aggressive! - Be, be beheaded
Whoo!
- Whoo! - Put your head down!
- Why do we do this? - Forget it.
- Hi, ladies! - Hi, Syl.
What?
- Super-cute shoes, McKayla. - Thank you.
But, as you know,
we are supposed to have the proper footwear
for the pyramids and the catching.
So?
So I just don't think they're very practical.
Don't get me wrong, I love them.
But maybe you could just sit this one out, okay?
I just want everyone to be safe.
Bye!
- Whoo! - Whoo!
- What a cunt. - Right?
Rosedale High is trending.
Hashtag RosedaleKiller or hashtag PrayForCraig?
Ugh. Neither.
It's your leather jacket of an ex-boyfriend.
Oh.
Jesus, are all of these pics just him and his crotch rocket?
- Yeah. - And these song lyrics...
He's so sensitive.
He has so many more followers than we do,
and it's literally the same thing!
- What?! - It's okay.
You've really grown so much in these last 12 hours.
Be strong.
Excuse me. Pardon me.
Hey.
What's up?
Hi, Tobes.
Hey, Kay-Kay.
How are you doing?
I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. I'm just...
I'm, like, really upset about Craig and everything,
- but... - That's good.
You need to be open right now to experience everything.
- I'm so open. - As scary as it may be,
you can't be afraid to ride that wave.
- I'm gonna ride it. - No matter how terrifying it is.
- Embrace it, okay? - I'm gonna embrace it so hard.
Yeah, so we happened to see some of your posts about Craig.
And they're really similar to what we're doing.
So we were just wondering if maybe you could
- give our blog a shout-out? - Yeah, I don't...
I don't think Toby really does shout-outs.
I don't know, I think that a shout-out from me
would be a little off-brand.
Something is definitely happening in Rosedale,
and I think that Craig would agree.
Look, I say what I feel.
If people connect with it, then... that's beautiful.
But I'm no hero.
Just one post. It'd really help us out.
I miss you so much, Tobes.
- I miss you too, Kay-kay. - Really?
I've been thinking a lot about us lately.
But everything that happened with Craig is just so...
so messed-up.
You know? All we have is each other,
and I need to express myself for the community.
The whole community needs me to be present for them.
You understand?
I have 15,000 followers.
We so need to kill him.
But why do we have to kill the cute ones first?
To make an omelet, you have to kill some ex-boyfriends.
Plus he's hella-annoying, and he's distracting you.
Yeah, but how do we do this?
I mean, what are we trying to say here?
How about "I just stabbed your basic bitch-ass in the throat
'cause of your emo status update."
Be serious.
Okay, you're the one who's always saying
that we have to have a higher plan and shit.
You're right. If we don't put thought into this,
we're no different
than the Texas Chainsaw reject we have tied up.
He's always just trying to escape.
So boring.
Why did you and Toby break up, again?
He said he needed to find himself.
But really he just found a sick deal on a motorbike,
which made him like 20% hotter.
Wait. I could see it as a "Death Proof" kind of thing.
I can work with that.
Yas, queen.
Hey! Hey!
- Yeah, yeah, like that. - Making its way downtown.
Ugh! Oh.
Dinner time!
Eat up, Lehmann.
It's all good protein.
We... look... amazing.
- Hot, right? - Yeah.
But we're totally gonna have to start wearing masks,
'cause if we keep dressing this good...
people gonna know it's us.
Let's talk Toby.
Okay, so, he will be at his house,
working on his hog. Sexy.
Um, but, then he likes to go for a ride on Connor Road
to, like, think.
Let's give him something to think about.
Hello?
Who is this?
Angela?
Tatum?
Michelle?
McKayla?
I was number 4?
Proceeding with phase 2.
Go around!
Aaah!
Aah!
Aah! How'd it look?
- Here you go. - Ooh!
Again?
Motherfucker!
Oh!
Shut up. Someone might hear you.
More to the left. His heart is more to the left.
Ugh!
- You're just hitting bone, dude. - I'm trying.
Give it.
Ugh!
- Help! Help! - Someone's coming.
Help me!
Shh!
- Hey. - Hey. Everything okay?
Yeah. Just a little car trouble.
Oh. Can I help out?
That's all right.
I know how to change a tire.
- You sure? - Yeah.
Pretty good with my hands.
And... And tires.
Help!
Shh.
Uh, my friend is really into Candy Crush.
She hasn't scored a jelly in, like, a hot minute, so...
- Oh. Okay, I know how that is. - Yeah.
If I'm gonna be murdered, I'm so happy it's you.
M-Kay!
What the fuck?
Nothing.
Got him.
Ugh. Okay.
- You ready to rehearse this? - Yeah.
So, we were just driving down the street
after our morning workout, obviously.
And there was this body there.
And I'm not a CSI person, but it looked like he was murdered.
Okay.
I'm not a CSI person,
but it looked like he was murdered.
Murdered? The coroner's report says it was an accident.
- So devastating. - But wasn't there evidence
that he was stabbed multiple times?
That's just what we heard.
You can watch the video on our YouTube channel, Tragedy Girls.
Girls, plural. We have a Twitter and a Tumblr.
Look, girls, points for enthusiasm,
but please let the professionals handle this, okay?
Just one interview.
I mean, we can say whatever you want us to say.
We'll post a link on our website.
We can help each other out.
Real journalism is based in facts, not hashtags.
Why are you even here?
Young people and road safety. That's the real story.
Now, if you'll excuse me, please.
Can we get the shots of the cars parking?
- Please, like, right now? - Sure.
Parked cars. They're not going anywhere.
I tried to show my dad your page, but he won't budge.
He just said, "Motorbikes are dangerous."
Okay, well, maybe we can use this to our advantage?
Make a "Rosedale Murder Cover-Up" video?
He also said I probably shouldn't be making movies
with you guys anymore.
- And what did you say? - Told him to fuck off.
Not using those exact words, but you know,
I think we left things ambiguous enough
that he probably knows what I'm gonna do.
But, guys, if there's some sort of psycho on the loose,
you need to leave it alone.
Don't be lame, we're not scared.
No, I'm serious. I...
Look, I just don't want see... anybody get hurt.
Well, I promise we'll stop
if I ever feel like we're in danger.
Okay?
Okay.
Well, we're late for Prom Committee.
But, hey, Jordan,
maybe you should find a date to prom, you know,
'cause it's gonna be fun and you don't want to go alone.
Because that's extremely pathetic.
Maybe your daddy can help you find someone.
Je-scuse moi?
Could you repeat that, Syl? For the record?
Yes. Like I was saying, two of our fellow classmates are gone,
and I think, to honor them, we should tone down the dance.
It is so tragic we lost Craig before his time...
And my ex, Toby. May he rest in peace.
As a junior, you may not quite understand this yet, Syl,
but I think it would actually dishonor their memory.
Yeah, if we don't have prom, then the haters win, Syl.
Plus, we already made the deposit on the deejay.
And that shit's nonrefundable.
I hear you, but that was before everything happened.
I think we should donate our budget to the families.
Right?
Goodness.
Order! Syl makes, like, some really good points,
but I think we should celebrate how they lived.
Well, I think we should vote on it.
And I'd like to be the first to motion this.
- Seconded? - Mm-hmm.
Well, let the record show
that both the president and the vice president
are vehemently opposed to this change.
- Vehemently! - Well, I would just like
to thank you all for coming, and I just really hope
that we can all band together as a class
and really respect each other and bring together...
- What the hell is that? - Syl made it. It's a library.
A library for what?
People make these and put them in front of their houses
with used copies of "Twilight,"
and old people borrow books from them.
It's a thing.
How did that prissy bitch get so good at woodshop?
"I really hope that my work can inspire
free little libraries everywhere,
and really do some good. You know?"
And it's going to the state competition this weekend
as Rosedale's official entry.
Not anymore.
So, if I move my shift at the shelter,
that would clear up the afternoon
to go to the old folks' home.
- Right? - Okay.
Who did this?
How am I supposed to get my lending-library scholarship now?
Don't just stand there, help me!
How could you let this happen? You get every piece.
No matter how hard I work, it'll never be the same.
Oh... my God.
You are ruining it! Just... Just get out.
Okay? Go, go, go, go. We're leaving.
Thank you.
Goodnight, Mr. Gordon.
Night, uh, you.
Hello?
I'm still working in here.
People.
I said I'm still in here!
Look, Mr. Wan said that I could!
You have got to be kidding me.
Jesus, you scared me.
Sorry, I thought I was the only one in here.
Did your Drama Club run late?
Okay, can I help you?
I'm kind of working on something.
Okay.
Okay, what is this?
Uh, Mr. Gordon?!
Anyone? No?
- McKayla? - Shit.
- Damn it, M-Kay! - I'm sorry.
Not really feeling this whole pantomime thing anyway.
- Stay in character! - Ugh.
Oh!
Aah!
Oh! Aah!
Aah! Aaaah!
Did that just...
I can't even...
That is some serious "Final Destination" shit.
Damn it.
This is still gonna look like an accident, again!
What do we do?
Ugh. Like this?
Yeah, just so there's no possible way
she could have done this herself.
Check it out.
"Your shoes are not regulation."
McKayla... just a few words.
How does it feel to see your conspiracy theory come to life?
Honestly, I'm not surprised.
You know, I've been the voice of reason in Rosedale...
- I'm sorry, you can't do this. - Excuse me,
- we're doing an interview. - Ma'am, I'm sorry.
- This is not allowed. - I was doing...
But I look really cute today.
Can I get a picture with you by your locker?
- That would really help me out. - Yeah.
Thanks.
Hey. Uh, you guys need to take it down a notch.
Why? We're finally getting
the recognition that we deserve
on this very important public-safety issue...
or whatever.
- Whoa, what happened there? - Nothing.
- Is that blood? - Heavy-flow day.
I don't know. That's not how that works, right?
Sadie Cunningham and McKayla Hooper
to the principal's office immediately.
Sadie and McKayla.
Okay, my dad is really pissed at you guys.
Why?
He wants to bring you in...
for interfering with an investigation.
- Shut up! Really? - Okay, well, um...
if... if Sadie needs, like, an alibi or something,
just to get her out of a jam, just tell her...
She can say she was with me
watching some Dario Argento movie, okay?
- Dario DiGiorno. - Dario Argento.
Dario Arpeggio. Mario Wario.
I don't know. I don't care. Bye-sies!
- Hey, can I? - Obviously.
Hmm.
Now, I want to assure you both
that no one here is accusing you girls of anything.
- We were just trying to help. - But if you guys
would just admit that something's going on...
I don't need advice from teenagers
on how to protect this community.
Okay, no one here is the bad guy.
If there is a perpetrator,
you're not helping to catch him, you're encouraging him.
So, you're saying there's a perpetrator?
Does he text you when you're next?
Do you have any idea what that girl's family is going through?
Yes, we've been in contact with them through our blog.
They only want justice for their daughter.
We were on Prom Committee and on Cheer Squad together.
They asked us both to speak at her memorial service.
We all need to find a way to grieve.
And remembering Syl's spirit on the Internet is part of that.
Thank you for your time, girls.
Thank you.
I need you both to account for your whereabouts last night.
- I was with Sadie. - Watching a movie.
With Jordan Welch.
This is un-fucking acceptable, Gerald.
They're jeopardizing the whole investigation.
Well, if you want to police these kids on Twitter,
be my guest.
And a big thanks to Jordan Welch
for putting that together under such short notice.
Jordan.
She will be missed.
Also, I hope that I can fill her shoes as cheer captain.
For more information, or to donate
to a charity in Syl's name,
you can visit our blog at Tragedy Girls...
I got something to say.
Um...
Big Al, everyone.
Thank you, ladies.
You all know me.
I've been a firefighter in this community
for eight years,
fire marshal for two,
not to mention going to state handball championships
three years running, right here in this very gym.
87-39... record still stands.
I know what's happening in this town.
And these girls are right.
Someone is targeting our kids!
And the sheriff's department is not doing enough about it.
We have to stand up for our community
and find who's responsible.
If that means myself and some volunteers
are searching every block, every abandoned property
to find the guy that's out there doing this,
we will, and that's a promise!
That's what I'm talking about, Big Al!
Can you believe he just stole the mic from us like that?
I know, right?
Dick. So hot, though.
So hot.
My, uh, smoke alarm is broken again.
That's very dangerous, Mrs. Kent.
Mm-hmm.
Not too much, or he might smell it.
Shit!
- Watch out, M-Kay! - Why do we have to do this?
Why can't we just hit him with an ax or something?
Because he's huge, and he's probably expecting someone
to attack him.
We've got another bottle in the car.
She's not like you.
Whatever, Hannibal.
She makes little plans.
Always bossing you around.
Now you, you... you're more like me.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Ask yourself...
who really takes all the risk?
Who really wants the kill?
Hmm?
No, without you, she's, um, nothing.
No, Sadie and I are like the same person.
She orders you around.
Not always.
She'll take all the credit, you know,
just like the desperate little fan girl that she is.
You can't trust her.
- What am I supposed to do? - Just release me,
and we'll kill everybody that gets in our way.
It's okay.
Just... Just open the door, McKayla.
Okay.
Oh, my God, Lowell.
This is kind of sad, bro.
Like you could ever get in between me and my BFF.
You know I'm right.
Before this is over,
she'll betray you.
Oh, Big Al, you're so big!
Thank you, Mrs. Kent.
I just love your big, meaty hands!
Is that what she sounds like?
I don't know.
I feel like she would be like, "Ooh!"
I feel like her laugh is like a "hoo."
Like a "hoo-hoo-hoo hoo hoo!"
Hi.
Keep in touch with the fire station,
I don't want a bunch of those "heroes" forming a mob.
- Sheriff, uh, you got a minute? - Make it quick, son.
Look, I know that you don't like them,
but Sadie and McKayla have found some really good patterns...
Not this again.
Can you at least take a look at it?
Because of their bullshit, I'm working 'round the clock
to keep this town from going crazy.
Go home.
Can we talk?
Okay, look, I've been editing their blog
for a couple weeks now, and I feel like,
if you just took a look at it once, then...
Jordan, I think about your mom every day.
But this is not the same.
Finding this guy does not bring her back.
And you running around, spreading lies
with that Cunningham girl does not honor her memory.
Understand?
I just want you to listen to me.
We're not done here.
Dude, finish strong! Finish strong! One more!
Yeah!
Whoo! Good job, boy!
- Aw. - Yeah!
Come on.
Damn, you've been really working out, huh?
Good job, good job, man. You're good to cut the lights
and lock the door when I get out, right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - All right, cool.
Let me get ya, let me get ya.
All right. Thanks, Drew.
No problem.
Whoo, Big Al!
Perfect.
Okay, so remember the safe word is "torso."
Dude, I know. You told me like a million times.
Oof.
Nice one!
But you should use the other mirror.
It's got, like, way better lighting.
Hey, um, I think they're closed.
Yeah, I know, I just saw what's-his-name
and he was like, "You can get in a quick 30."
Pump some iron, as long as I've got
this big strong muscle-y Al to take care of me!
Yeah, well, I'm just finishing up, so...
Yeah, no, that's fine. I'm just gonna, um,
I'm just gonna do a couple, like, sets.
You know what I mean? Like, for my body.
I've never seen you in here before.
You know what, I was thinking, like, the same thing.
I was like, "Wow, it's weird," right?
Like, I'm here all the time.
I mean, like, so are you, obviously.
Oh, I'm such a klutz.
Oh, hey, don't worry about that.
No, no, no, let me refill it for you.
No, really, I'm about to leave...
I insist.
Big bottle.
Shit.
Here you go.
Thank you. You didn't have to do that.
Yeah.
Um, so, do you have any, I don't know, like, tips...
for a girl who's trying to... tighten?
Tighten up. Well, for your build,
you might want to start with more free weights.
Free weights. Cool. Yeah, no, good. Good idea. Ooh.
- How about that? - Hmm.
Mmm. Water. Mmm.
Ah! So refreshing. Mmm.
Mmm.
You okay?
Yeah, no, I'm fine.
Someone's here.
- I didn't hear anything. - I did.
- Maybe we should hydrate. Oh. - Stay here.
Do you want to take this with you?
Somebody back here?
What are you doing?
Sorry about that. Can't be too careful,
especially with a nut-job on the loose.
No worries.
So, you want me to spot you?
What the hell?
Dude! I said I got this!
Sorry! Torso! Torso!
Ugh!
Call the police!
You bitches crazy!
Well, at least this won't look like an accident.
Dude. I totally had it.
He drank the water and everything.
Jordan's on his way to my house, like, right now.
- We need to go. - Okay, fine,
but you're not hearing the last of this, okay?
I've got a lot to talk to you about.
You always have a lot to talk to me about.
I've got notes, girl. I've got notes.
Hey J. What's up?
My dad left his work computer logged in,
so I copied the police reports, crime-scene photos,
and documents from all six murders.
- This is amazing. - Yeah. It's, uh, super-illegal.
So...
You did this for me?
- Your dad would, like, freak out. - Don't worry about him.
Look, I know telling you to let it go
only seems to spur you on...
so, uh, fuck it.
I'm all in.
You're such a good friend, J.
Whoa, look at that splatter pattern.
- Yeah. That's... - How awesome is that?
Yeah. It's really... It's really great.
- That's crazy. - We can...
We can turn this off anytime. Anytime we want, really.
I like them.
Come in.
Hey, sunshine.
Oh, you shouldn't have let me sleep in.
I have to be ready for school.
School's canceled today, hon.
Look, I don't know how to say this,
so I'm just gonna say it.
There's been another murder.
What?!
The body of decorated firefighter
Albert "Big Al" Hill was discovered
earlier this morning by his longtime trainer.
Your friend of 20 years found brutally murdered
in the one place that you were supposed to feel safe.
Will you ever look at the gym the same?
There's a hole in my heart where Al used to live.
- Honey? - Yeah.
- Another murder! Town meeting. - Okay.
We have to find a way to remember Al.
We have to find a way to remember Al!
We at Channel 5 remember Al,
and we are asking you, if we don't start yielding
to the warning signs of our local hero,
who will be next? Back to you.
He had gotten so strong. So strong.
Are we still live?
You know, Big Al was the toughest S.O.B. I ever met.
Cracked my tooth once playing handball.
- Steven... - I'm just saying,
the guy was kind of a hot head.
Really surprised they made him fire marshal.
Well, there's an emergency town-hall meeting
this afternoon. Now, baby,
you don't have to go if you don't want to.
I, um, I'm still trying to process this.
But I think I'll be there.
McKayla, I do not want you out by yourself at night anymore.
It's too dangerous.
But I still have Prom Committee.
I won't go anywhere without Sadie.
We'll keep each other safe.
Please?
But I want regular text updates.
Yes.
That's my girl.
Waffle me.
Thank you, baby.
Please, please. Can I have your attention?
Our town, our community,
our entire way of life is under attack.
We will overcome this, but we must have faith.
We must have patience with our law enforcement
and with each other.
This is a time for remembering, for mourning.
And now I'd like to turn the floor over
to Sheriff Welch, if you please.
Thank you, Madam Mayor.
I'd like to stress to everybody
that the most important thing to do is stay calm
and not make our community even more vulnerable.
I've consulted with the state police and the FBI.
And with their help,
a strict curfew of 8:00 p.m. will be in effect.
Son of a bitch!
- Please, remain calm. - Curfews can't keep us safe!
What are you hiding, Sheriff?
- What about our missing pets? - This is exactly what he wants!
Hashtag RememberAl! RememberAl!
Remember Al! Remember Al!
Remember Al! Remember Al! Remember Al! Remember Al!
Remember Al!
Remember Al! Remember Al!
Hyah!
Okay!
Who's ready to show this psycho that we are not afraid?!
- We are! - Right!
Let's march down Main Street
and give Sheriff Welch a piece of our mind!
- Yeah! - Remember Al!
Remember Al! Remember Al!
Ugh. I feel like we've been walking for fucking hours.
My calves are killing me, and we're only a third of the way.
Ugh. Damn it!
Who are you texting?
No one. Come on, let's go to the front for a better shot.
Excuse me. Pardon me.
And with a show of force and goodwill like this,
- one thing is certain. - Our Midwestern town
won't take any more shit from this serial killer.
Like and favorite!
Did you...
I was with you the whole time.
Excuse me!
Sadie, McKayla.
Quick sound bite from the Tragedy Girls?
Oh, I can't even deal with this right now.
Uh, we are shocked and saddened
that another death has transpired
due to the apathy of our law enforcement.
- Good one. - Is that a direct quote?
Hey, wait your turn! Are you afraid that the killer
will target you next because of your infamous blog?
Um, we will not rest until we stop this menace of society!
Please continue to follow Tragedy Girls on Twitter.
Excuse me. Thank you.
- Yeah? - Hey, hon.
A lot of people have been calling the house...
- CNN, ABC, Barbara Walters. - Sweetie,
there's someone who calls
who just breathes into the phone.
Mom, Dad, just hang up the phone.
Don't talk to anyone. And lock the doors.
What if it's him?
There's a good chance.
So, you believe you're being followed?
I've been getting these weird texts, like when I'm at school.
Someone's been invading my privacy.
- I know it. - And I'm pretty sure
- I've seen this guy before. - He could be the killer.
- He was old. - Not like you old,
like Father Time old, but, like, old.
- Kind of out of shape, um... - 6'6".
- And really old. - Something like this?
This looks like Stewie from "Family Guy."
That's terrible, but, yeah.
Yeah, his eyes were a little bit more beady.
- You should hire somebody. - Do you think you could, like,
dispatch someone to, like, my house?
Or escort me to school, just in case?
Even with all the extra help, I can't spare a single deputy.
- What? - The fuck? You're the police.
I could be killed!
Maybe stop checking in your location online,
and he won't find you.
I'd rather die.
Phones off!
But it's a matter of life and death.
What if we have to call 911?
I said, phones off!
You know, maybe we should continue with a conversation
about the dark side of social media.
Anyone?
Narcissism? What about shallowness?
Sociopathy?
- I object! - Yeah, you're singling us out.
People have died! People who can't be replaced.
I have just about had it with the both of you,
feeding off misery like parasites.
You should both be ashamed.
Parasitic.
- I can't do this anymore. - You're just going to quit?
You can't just abandon our videos.
We gave you all the footage.
- You can have it back. - I thought we made a good team.
We do. I... My dad needs me
more than you guys right now.
- Fuck your dad. - M-Kay!
Don't talk about my dad like that.
No. If Sheriff Welch knew his dick from his donuts,
he would've solved this already. He's useless.
Just like when your mother was murdered.
- Fuck you! - Fuck you!
That's enough!
Come on, Sadie. We don't need him.
We could Snapchat a used tampon and it would be huge.
- Jordan needs to die. - He's harmless.
He's making you soft.
I am not soft. I am fierce.
And you shouldn't have brought up his mom.
Are you still feeling guilty about that shit?
Hey, girls.
If you hear anything weird, don't hesitate.
No psychos are gonna get in here on my watch.
- Yes, Dad. - Yes, Mr. Cunningham.
All right, I'm gonna hit the hay. Night.
Jordan knows more than he's letting on.
He doesn't know anything.
Dude, the way he was looking at me.
He's always hanging around, watching.
It's only a matter of time before he spills to his dad.
You're over-reacting.
Fuck.
- What? - My phone.
My fucking phone.
- Which one? - The important one.
I swear it was right...
He took it.
Jordan? You're being paranoid.
Earlier, with the drive.
I mean, right in front of my fucking face.
This is like a total breach! He dies tonight!
Lowell could be outside, figuring out
how to disembowel us or whatever.
- It's not even worth the risk. - If we go to jail,
everything that we've worked for is fucked.
Look, don't worry. okay?
I'll sneak into his house after curfew,
and I'll slit his throat.
It'll be quick...
like it never even happened.
No, he's my friend.
I'll do it.
Are you, uh, going back to the station again?
No, figure I'll stay in tonight.
We got some extra guys from Chamberlain on shift.
They've got it under control.
We'll have some fun.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What the hell are you doing here?
I wanted to see you,
but I didn't think your dad would be here.
He will freak out if he catches you.
Is that an Elvis Presley frog?
Goddamn right, it's an Elvis Presley frog.
"You ain't nothing but a hound frog."
That's it.
Are we gonna talk, or did you just come over
- to make fun of me? - Sorry.
It's just exactly how I pictured it.
And how did you avoid the deputies?
I didn't, really. They're just bad at their jobs.
They've never been fantastic.
It's like a thousand degrees in here.
Um, um, listen,
there's something that I have to tell you.
Come on, you got this.
I have something I need to tell you, too.
Okay. Um, you want to go first?
I don't think that's a good idea.
- You go. - Okay.
Um, something McKayla said the other day...
My mom's death has never been ruled a murder.
What are you saying?
I'm saying that I think she knows more than she lets on,
about what's happening, about who's killing people.
But she was just a kid when your mom passed away.
Yeah. Yeah, I know. I-I know it sounds crazy,
and I know that you want to protect her,
but maybe she knows the killer.
What makes you say that?
Okay, the morning after Syl's death,
she had splatter stains on her shoes.
And to be fair, I didn't get a good look at it, but...
Oh, you'll get a good look at it.
In the town meeting, she sent a text, like,
right before everyone got a picture of Big Al dead.
People text all the time.
Okay. All right?
Does everyone have
a second unregistered cellphone in their backpack?
- I fucking knew it! - What?
- Yeah. - What did you see on it?
Nothing yet. It's locked,
and I haven't finished cracking it.
I probably shouldn't be telling you this,
but I kind of broke into the school
and I got her psych profile
while everyone was doing the march.
- Those are private! - I know, I know,
I must seem insane right now, but I think
there might be something seriously wrong with her.
She's got, like, a lot of red flags.
That doesn't mean anything.
Just stop defending her, okay?
Look, if she has something to do with this,
or if she's working with someone,
I think they might be ramping up to something big.
- You're being crazy, J. - No, I just...
I know what it's like
to lose someone that you really care about.
And I don't know
if I could live with myself if anything happened to you.
You don't mean that.
No, I do. I mean, I think
you're pretty much the most amazing, brilliant,
unique person I've ever met.
- Really? - Yeah.
I think you're special. To me, at least.
And you have really good taste in obscure movies,
and, like, your hair is, like, super cool.
And I...
Ugh. Vom.
Lehmann?!
- Did you hear that? - No, what?
Listen.
Shit.
Uh, one second, Dad.
Shh!
What the...
Jordan!
Aaaah!
Shit!
Aaah!
Aaaah!
Jordan.
Hold on there, son.
What you doing here?
She saved my life.
Thank you.
Yes, uh, I need an ambulance at 461 Cedar Lane.
We have one person bleeding from a large knife wound.
In the two weeks since the attack at my home,
there have been no new sightings
of the so-called Rosedale Ripper.
I'd like to acknowledge the bravery and forthrightness
of Rosedale's very own Sadie Cunningham.
Sadie!
I was humbled to witness her courage firsthand
as she fought off her attacker.
I am eternally indebted to you for saving my son's life.
Go, Sadie!
Hi. Trish, Channel 5. I just want to know,
what's next for the Tragedy Girl?
Uh, actually, it's...
I mean...
I'm going to continue to fight for what's right
and really work to make the community a safer place.
You know?
Madam President, can I speak to you for a moment?
Sure.
- What's up, M-Kay? - We need to talk.
- Not now. We're at school. - Who cares?!
Lower your voice. They're watching me.
Bitch, you love it.
I saw you up there on that podium.
What, are you jelly?
I am so not jelly.
Is this about the Tragedy Girl thing?
Look at you, dude.
Hooking up with that loser out of pity.
See, I thought you were the one with the plan.
The vision? A night to remember?
Not just cut and run when shit gets real.
Okay, last I checked, it was me who had to mop up your mess.
We'll discuss this later.
We wouldn't have a mess to mop up,
had you had the guts to...
had you had the guts
to buy the gold balloons like we had talked about.
See, I for one, don't want my prom
to look like the inside of your ratchet-ass trailer.
You're such a cliché!
Don't blame me because your part of our plan
is always boring and uninspired.
Okay, there is nothing special about what you do!
You only hold me back!
Well, I've never needed you.
We don't need you.
Fuck you, Sades.
Fuck these stupid fucking stars!
What the fuck are you looking at?!
What?!
Uh, hi, Mr. Cunningham.
Uh, just here to pick up Sadie.
Uh, uh, J-Jordan.
Jordan Welch.
Uh, we've met a couple times.
My dad's the... sheriff.
Uh, one time in middle school, you told me, like,
"Stay away from my daughter."
Uh, I'm here... I'm here for prom.
- Um... - Sadie!
It's a great house you have here.
- Hey. - Hi.
Uh, could we get a picture real quick if that's okay?
There you go.
You got to tap the screen.
It's just a little... little tap on the screen.
- Uh... - Here.
That's great.
- Dinner's in the fridge, Pop. - Thanks, sweetheart.
Bring her home safe.
Yeah. Yes.
There we go. Okay.
And...
There we go. It really is an art form.
Easing off the clutch.
Ease off the clutch.
Ease off the clutch!
Prom! Prom! Prom! Prom!
- Prom! Prom! Prom! - Your ride's here!
Don't rush her.
- Oh! Look at my baby girl! - Aww, look at that girl!
Angelica ain't got nothing on my baby.
Look at you.
- Cut it out, guys. - Oh, you only go to prom once.
And I cannot believe those boys at your school
were too afraid to ask you out.
- Why you got to bring that up? - I'm just saying,
they shouldn't be afraid of a beautiful woman.
Well, it's just, you know, things got a little crazy,
and there weren't a lot of guys left to ask me.
Will Sadie be there?
Yeah, I-I think so.
I'll tell her that you guys said hi.
- I love you. - I love you, too.
I'll get the door.
Rosedale High, please.
Yes, ma'am.
- Isn't this great? - Sure.
I'm kind of thirsty. I'll be right back.
Okay.
- Nice dress, Sadie. - You too.
I want you to know how proud I am.
You really turned your attitude around
in spite of everything that's happened.
- I guess a lot has changed. - I hope you don't mind,
but I put your name forward for a scholarship.
Young women who have overcome adversity.
- Thanks, Mrs. K. - You're welcome.
I think I need to go outside, get some fresh air
before I lose it. You have a good night.
- You, as well. - Okay.
Hey! Come on, what you doing? It's a great song.
Just sitting for a bit.
Hey, look, um...
I-I know that things haven't really been the same for you
ever since we got together.
But I-I just want to let you know I'm so sorry
for telling you all that shit about McKayla.
I know she had nothing to do with the murders.
Like, s-she couldn't have. That's insane.
Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
Hello? Hello? Oh, there we go.
- How you doing Rosedale High?! - Yeah!
Yeah! Whoo!
Okay, I'm just gonna say a few words,
and then this boring old dude will get offstage, I promise.
To say that this was a tough year
would be a massive understatement.
- Yeah. - No shit.
But if there's one good thing that we can take away
from these dark times, it's this.
Our friends.
No matter where you go in life,
you will always have with each other
a bond that is unbreakable.
I believe that the votes have been tallied.
Yes?
This year's king and queen
are Jordan Welch and Sadie Cunningham.
Dude!
What the...
Come on.
We will now commence the prom king and queen's first dance.
All hail Jordan and Sadie.
I can't believe this is happening.
- I think it's rigged. - No, no, not just that.
We survived not just a serial killer
but high school.
And now we're here. And I just... I can't tell you
how lucky I feel to share this dance with my best friend.
Jonathan and Tracey, what are you doing out here?
Back inside. Now.
- Yes, Mrs. Kent. - Yes, Mrs. Kent.
Mrs. Kent.
Smoking can cause fires.
Or didn't Big Al teach you that?
McKayla, what are you doing out here?
Oh, just waiting for a friend.
Speak of the devil.
Jesus Christ. McKayla!
- Why? - Shh.
Please raise your hand
if you have something to say, Mrs. Kent.
Now?
No.
I have an appearance to make.
So, I know we haven't gotten a chance
to talk about when summer's over,
but have you thought about Kent State?
I haven't really decided.
Because even if you went with Ohio, like,
we'd still be pretty close by. That'd be cool.
- Jordan, listen... - Hey, dude.
Uh, one sec.
Sadie? You're so brave.
I love you.
Get the fuck out of my face.
Yeah, but thanks. I appreciate it.
No problem.
M-Kay!
Hey.
McKayla, what'd you do to Mrs. Kent?
She got what she deserved.
What do you think?
Cute, right?
M-Kay, you don't have to prove anything to me.
We made a splash. That's enough. Don't fuck up your future.
Fuck up my future?
What happened to you?
We used to be the same, you and me.
Do you remember our first time?
- M-Kay, don't. - Don't what?
I mean, it was your plan, after all.
Poor old bag didn't even see it coming.
One minute, she's driving two girls home from dance practice.
The next, she's lying in a ditch.
Poor Mrs. Welch.
- It was an accident. - An accident?
Is that what you tell yourself?
Because we both wanted it!
But, oh, you were the one who was cold as ice.
I remember crying and crying the next day...
jumping every time the phone rang...
scared that I would blurt it all out at the dinner table...
...that I would let down my best friend.
And then you abandoned me?
I mean, you even became friends with her son!
Him over me!
I thought I was going crazy!
The old Sadie, she wasn't like everybody else.
No, she was something real special.
And she would agree with me.
But if you want to be dancing under that spotlight
with those fucking sheep,
then you're better off dead with the rest of them.
- I never meant to hurt you. - Oh, please.
I'm like, so over it.
I believe you've already met my prom date.
Been waiting a long time, for this...
to gut you...
feast on your flesh.
Oh, scary, Lowell. Nice.
See, he's not much of a sweet talker,
but he knows how to show a girl a good time.
So, that's it?
You're just gonna kill your best friend?
Dude, no. No, I'm here to save you.
We're gonna finish this just like we planned.
A night to remember.
No!
Sadie, run! Hurry!
No!
Come on, Jordan, climbing up the stairs?
It's like you want to get caught.
Just like your mother.
Sadie, come to me, baby.
Hey! Michael Myers knock-off!
I told you, she's off limits!
Did you think I'd forget what you did to me?
Chained, tortured, dog food?
I'm gonna repay the favor until you're begging me to kill you!
Lowell, calm down.
We both know that you're not very good with the thinking,
especially after all the chloroform.
You and I, we're the same, remember?
No.
You spend your life
putting fake bullshit on the Internet!
I'm gonna show you what it really looks like!!
Stay away from her!
I missed you so much.
Shut up. I missed you so much!
Sadie.
Sadie, come here. Sadie, get away from her.
Get away from her. We need to call the police.
You're gonna pay for what you did.
Jordan, wait.
She's my best friend.
She just tried to kill you!
And... And me!
She murdered my mom! She...
You ruined my life.
So did I.
Sadie, no, no, no. Listen to me.
I love you... the real you.
Come on, you're nothing like her.
Oh, J.
You don't know me at all.
Is my son in there?!
No!
I guess you were right.
- Best night ever. - Best night ever.
No-o!
Months have passed since the Rosedale Massacre
claimed the lives of nearly 124 students.
But the healing has only just begun.
From this moment, I resign my post
as the sheriff of this community
to focus on charity work
in... my son's name.
Later in the hour, we'll have new information
on Lowell Orson Lehmann,
and how he planned and carried out the grisly murders
in our sleepy town.
As for Rosedale's so-called Tragedy Girls,
the brave Sadie Cunningham and McKayla Hooper
have managed to turn tragedy into triumph.
With an upcoming book tour, major interviews,
and a Lifetime movie in the works,
I sat down with the girls
to discuss their plans for the future.
Uh, we'd just like to be normal, down-to-earth students.
I mean, living a life of anonymity, really.
Getting full scholarships certainly helps,
but for now, I'd like to focus on my program as a film major.
McKayla, what do you feel is your greatest triumph?
Finding a best friend like Sadie.
That's awesome, tight?
Hashtag blessed.
Ugh! Dude, I hate that top!
- Shut up, you look great. - You guys all set?
- Yes. - Yeah.
Look, be careful. Call if you need anything.
- Dad... - Look out for each other.
There are 10 dinners in the freezer.
Thanks, kiddo.
- Dad, stop crying! - Love you.
- Let's do it!
- Be careful, no texting! - No promises!
- We did good. - Yeah.
If you're one of our regular viewers,
consider clicking the link to Jordan's charity below.
It's for, like, a really good cause.
We may have survived Rosedale...
But we're ready to start a whole new chapter.
- Stay tuned. - And keep following...
The Tragedy Girls. Whoo!
♪ So fuck tomorrow, we only getting younger