1
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,534
You're a generation of lazy.

2
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:09,542
You haven't done anything
for yourself.

3
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:13,216
But I'm gonna teach you
how to do...

4
00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:17,884
Chelsea...

5
00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:20,784
Chels.

6
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:23,726
What the fuck
are you doing here?

7
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:25,496
Mom and dad are outta town.

8
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:26,786
So you get me.

9
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,627
I don't need a babysitter.

10
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:29,889
Whatever.

11
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,059
Get ready for school.

12
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:52,754
Shaq...

13
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:56,584
This is the best vacation ever.

14
00:01:56,884 --> 00:02:00,730
I can't believe you own
this whole island.

15
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,262
You have to be the hottest,

16
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,161
most successful,

17
00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:10,101
smart and funny guy
I've ever met.

18
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:14,436
I'd do anything for you,
Shaquille Horowitz.

19
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,614
And I mean anything.

20
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:23,585
I'm here to save you

21
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:24,947
from yourself

22
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:27,589
now, in the comfort
of your home,

23
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,189
you can have...

24
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:32,430
"The winner's win, the
losers whine" seminar.

25
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,892
Leaders of men,
leaders of countries,

26
00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:38,465
have taken the dynamic,
fantastic course.

27
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,534
"Winners win,
losers whine."

28
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:43,468
They've changed
the course of countries.

29
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:44,868
Winners win.

30
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:46,805
You're the man.
No...

31
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:48,100
No, you're the man.

32
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:49,610
Is that chest hair?

33
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,246
I think it might be.

34
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,108
I'm the only one in control.

35
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:54,613
I'm the only one in control.

36
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,888
I'm Wilford gates,

37
00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:59,784
and I'm passionate
about your success.

38
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,080
Gates?

39
00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:02,601
You wanna give me
the scholarship?

40
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,164
Shaq.

41
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,169
Uh, hey dad.

42
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:22,173
Hey. What...

43
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:23,469
What's going on with you?

44
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,011
Nothing.

45
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,153
Yeah, well, you look like

46
00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:33,982
"honey, I shrunk
my accountant."

47
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:35,988
Look dad, in order
to be successful

48
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:39,196
one has to dress successful, so.

49
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:42,831
That depends on your
definition of success, really.

50
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:46,593
Well, speaking of that,
how's the job hunt going?

51
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,203
Oh, it's going...
It's going...

52
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,998
Cause, you know, just got
a couple of leads, but-...

53
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:52,898
I mean they're all-
you know, they're all

54
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,874
multi-national
corporations and things...

55
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,340
You know...
It's-— I can't-

56
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,207
that's not-

57
00:03:58,505 --> 00:03:59,984
you know...
I mean seriously,

58
00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:02,810
where are all the
locally-owned companies?

59
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,851
You know, like, family
business, you know.

60
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:05,850
Where are those things?

61
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,181
I can't...
I can't...

62
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:08,516
I mean, you know me,

63
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,658
when I'm... when I'm
looking at the...

64
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,453
And I see the-
I can't...

65
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:14,721
So I'm just...
I'm gonna keep looking.

66
00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:17,502
Just keep-
you know, like...

67
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,134
That's a good plan.

68
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:22,670
Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty
good, pretty good.

69
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:23,963
I should go.

70
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:26,404
Yeah'? Oh yeah,
you got school.

71
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,476
- Good... cool. Go.
- See you later, dad.

72
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:33,843
Shaq, thanks. I'm glad
we had this talk.

73
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,059
You can't be
running around wearing skinny jeans,

74
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,926
having a haircut like
a bad dyke from the '80s,

75
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,322
you have to embrace change.

76
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:49,260
You have to embrace the new you.

77
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,234
Otherwise you're gonna end up
living under a bridge.

78
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:52,535
Do you wanna end up
living under a bridge?

79
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:53,879
'Cause that's where
you're headed,

80
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:56,271
unless you're ready
to be successful.

81
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:59,803
You can't become successful by hating
successful people. You have to embrace them.

82
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:02,393
You have to go out there, and
you have to get what you want.

83
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:05,242
You have to
live your life like you're...

84
00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,621
Butt-faced again.

85
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:22,059
Woo-hoo.

86
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,764
Christ, you get a government
job I don't know about?

87
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,459
Uh, no, I have a meeting
with brew today.

88
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:28,596
Oh, yeah? Where at?

89
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,397
Cock in the box?
Cock fillet?

90
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:31,698
Kentucky fried cock?

91
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,638
McCockles?
McCockles, really?

92
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,814
Oh, I should've stopped
at cock in the box, huh?

93
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,605
Yeah. You need
to be nice to him.

94
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,304
Dude, the guy's
a cock gobbling tool

95
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:40,883
who thinks he's better
than everyone else.

96
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,251
- No, he's successful.
- Yeah, at gobbling cock.

97
00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:46,583
Seriously, don't fuck this up for me.
Please? I really want this scholarship.

98
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,925
I thought you were going to community
college with me and Chelsea.

99
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,193
Well, I was, but that was before

100
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,491
I could afford to go to SMU.

101
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,731
With the scholarship,
I can afford to go to SMU.

102
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,728
Dude, I can afford it,
but you don't see me

103
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,269
running off
to some fancy college

104
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:58,993
to get with
a bunch of pod people

105
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:00,635
and leaving my friends.

106
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,065
You have a 1.75 GPA,

107
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:03,689
you're lucky
to get into community.

108
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,334
I don't test well.
And you know that.

109
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,276
Did you at least remember
to get the costume?

110
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,506
Yeah,
it's in the back. You?

111
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:09,802
Yeah. What's yours?

112
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,280
Oh, man.
It's a pussy magnet.

113
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:14,245
Wait till you see.

114
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,313
What the fuck?

115
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:28,257
Hey, I picked up a shift
this morning.

116
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:29,762
Can you take Sage to school?

117
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,331
Yeah, no problem.

118
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,502
Okay, don't let your retard
friend say anything

119
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:36,035
that's gonna scar her,
all right?

120
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:37,433
She's only 11.

121
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:39,335
They're not retarded.
Shell be fine.

122
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:40,976
Who's retarded?

123
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,645
Hey, sweetie, you need
to ride with Chelsea

124
00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:43,669
to school today, okay?

125
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,282
What?

126
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,848
I don't wanna ride her
and her freak friends.

127
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,647
You don't have a choice, babe.

128
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,153
I can ride the bus.

129
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:56,859
Not in this neighborhood,
you can't.

130
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,130
We learned about
self-defense in gym class.

131
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,388
Testicles, throat, eyes.

132
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,371
You're riding with your sister today.
Deal with it.

133
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:13,133
But sideshow smells
like spoiled lunch meat.

134
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,243
Hey, this should go
without saying,

135
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,344
no smoking weed
with her in the car.

136
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,880
Weed? What is this
weed you speak of?

137
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:24,920
Seriously, a joint'?

138
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:26,555
It's like 8:30
in the morning.

139
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:27,847
All right, first of all,

140
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,085
it's medical.

141
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,191
I have anxiety issues
and you know that.

142
00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:32,804
Whatever,
I just don't wanna smell

143
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,193
like that stuff all day.

144
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:36,488
Hey, is that Van Horn?

145
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,725
Yeah, I think so.

146
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:45,398
What's up fellas?

147
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,042
Whats up?

148
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,445
You bussing it'?

149
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:55,549
Yeah, uh, my car is in the shop

150
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:57,617
till this afternoon.
It's a long story.

151
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,618
Fucking stop sign
was behind a tree.

152
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,790
Nice mouth. What's up
with the Amber alert?

153
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,119
That's chin chin,
she's my girlfriend.

154
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,398
Chin chin, say hi to my friends.

155
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,698
Nice. Where'd you pick her up,
a "Harry Potter" book signing?

156
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:18,964
Man, fuck you, sha-queer.

157
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,568
She's hot as fuck, man.

158
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:23,438
And you're just jealous 'cause
the last time you felt vagina.

159
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,257
You were being born
out of your mother.

160
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:27,074
And that's disgusting.

161
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,374
Nice car.

162
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,543
- Thanks.
- Can I drive it?

163
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,585
- Uh, sure.
- No, no, you can't.

164
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:34,319
- What's the big deal?
- Megan's law.

165
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:35,655
We should really git going.

166
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:39,055
Okay, can we at least
get a ride? You got room.

167
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,730
Seriously?

168
00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,490
Fuck you, sha-queer.
Fuck you, too.

169
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:49,762
He's a douche bag.

170
00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:51,274
Dude, whoa.
Be cool.

171
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:52,924
I won't be cool,
he's a douche bag.

172
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:54,737
- Yeah, but you know he's...
- He's what?

173
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,001
- He's got the...
- What?

174
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:57,612
He's kinda...
He's handicapped.

175
00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,315
What? So he gets
a free pass because of that?

176
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,549
That guy walks
around like he's king,

177
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,075
but he's really
just a douche bag.

178
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:03,552
And by the way, they don't
say, "handicapped,"

179
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:04,919
they say,
"physically challenged."

180
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,522
Are you sure? I think
handicapped is okay.

181
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,521
No, it's not okay.

182
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,610
- Th ey still call it "handicap parking."
- No, they don't.

183
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:23,205
What up. Peeps?

184
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,256
Shaq, can you
check out my printer?

185
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:28,040
Uh, sure.

186
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,935
You told Chels
to get Shaq out of the way

187
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:33,007
so we could be alone,
didn't you?

188
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,308
You know guys hit their
sexual peak at '18, right?

189
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:37,315
I'm sitting right here, moron.

190
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:40,853
I can understand every
skeezy word you say.

191
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,649
Sweetie, you understand

192
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:46,021
many, many more
words than Marion.

193
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:47,319
Marion?

194
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:48,488
It's sideshow.

195
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,131
The name's sideshow.

196
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,063
- Hey...
- Hey.

197
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,737
You.

198
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,507
Uh...

199
00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:58,673
Scene of the crime.

200
00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:00,876
- Yeah...
- That's nice.

201
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,874
Oh, my god.

202
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,513
I was, uh-I was
just messing around earlier.

203
00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:07,011
Yeah...

204
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:10,049
Uh, so the printer
you wanted me to look at.

205
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:14,849
Yeah, I don't actually
have a printer.

206
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,923
No, you don't.

207
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,662
Jesus, Shaq.
It's me.

208
00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:20,158
I know.

209
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,731
I'm Shaq.
Nice to meet you.

210
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,224
Are you gonna be a douche bag?

211
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,271
No.

212
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,871
Just...

213
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,164
So what do you wanna do?

214
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:36,040
I mean, we obviously
had a connection

215
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:37,906
the other night.

216
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:39,239
Right?

217
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,246
This is a good brand.

218
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,920
Um...

219
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:48,556
Chels, you're...
You're like my best friend,

220
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:53,456
and I wouldn't wanna ruin that.

221
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:54,753
So...

222
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,625
Fantastic.

223
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,698
Did you get that
off of like some big book

224
00:10:58,958 --> 00:11:00,960
of cliche things assholes say?

225
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,969
Or... you just
came up with that.

226
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,303
Dick.

227
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:20,655
Chels, Shaq.
Let's go.

228
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:47,011
Oops. I'm sorry.

229
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,810
That's okay.

230
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,987
You know I'm so hot for you.

231
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:54,758
I've been wanting
to do this for a long time.

232
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,549
Ahh! What are you doing
with my underwear. You freak?

233
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,349
No, I thought it was Rebecca's.
It's not what it looks like.

234
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,933
- Chelsea!
- I thought it was Rebecca's!

235
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,285
- I thought-hey! No!
- Testicles, throat, eyes!

236
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:33,278
I didn't know they were hers,

237
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,653
what 11-year-old
wears a thong?

238
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:36,164
It's the 21 st century, pervert.

239
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,491
I'm not a pervert.

240
00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:38,834
That's some pretty sick shit,

241
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:39,962
even for you, sideshow.

242
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,426
I thought they were Rebecca's.

243
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:42,799
He was sniffing them.

244
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:44,062
- Oh!
- I was not.

245
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,536
I'm burning them, you freak.

246
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,641
Okay, let me off here.
I don't wanna be seen

247
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,574
getting out a car
with two known pervs.

248
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,380
Two? No, no, no.
I'm not-he's the perv.

249
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:53,077
Tell it to Chris
Hansen, you freaks.

250
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:59,022
So, uh, how much for all this?

251
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:02,521
$5.50.

252
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,590
Hey, you...

253
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:06,864
You wanna see a picture
of my little girl?

254
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,428
Sure...

255
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,330
Ah, she's pretty.

256
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:20,043
Yeah, she's a child, you freak.

257
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,439
She's into rainbows
and unicorns, not your penis.

258
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,677
Lighten up kid,
I'm just fuckin' with you.

259
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,080
Unicorns...

260
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,356
Bag it up.

261
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:50,366
I got my eye on you.

262
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:10,891
So you're going for
the gate scholarship, huh?

263
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:12,754
Yeah. I was gonna tell
you this morning,

264
00:14:13,052 --> 00:14:15,464
but it was kinda awkward between
us, so I didn't really know...

265
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,533
All of a sudden, he's too
good for community college.

266
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,477
I didn't say that. I
didn't... I didn't say that.

267
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:22,559
And that's why he's going to Bret-ps
little winter break costume party.

268
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,164
Wait, your cousin Brei I?

269
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,102
You're going to his party?

270
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,140
But you hate him.
He hates you.

271
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,744
I wouldn't really say
"hate" is the word.

272
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,564
You know, what?
Gates is gonna be there,

273
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,059
and it's my chance
to impress him.

274
00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:37,416
Hey, retard. You parked
in a handicapped spot.

275
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,315
See? I told you
it was handicap.

276
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,172
Oh, you know, I didn't see it, man.
Wow.

277
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:42,926
Yeah, whatever,
sha-queer.

278
00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:45,492
I should kick your
fucking ass right now.

279
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,526
Hey, hobbit.

280
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,822
You calling me cripple?

281
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,602
You're all talk.

282
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:56,602
I didn't say anything.

283
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,103
Yeah, you did.

284
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:00,009
That's why I'm getting
the gates scholarship

285
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,110
and you're gonna be homeless

286
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:03,705
giving hand jobs under a bridge.

287
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:05,141
Now, move your car.

288
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:09,045
Well... it is
illegally parked.

289
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:12,687
Move it.

290
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,390
Dick beater.

291
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:50,193
Dude, I forgot
my gym shorts again.

292
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:52,929
- Coach.
- Shit.

293
00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:54,323
So are we cool?

294
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:57,193
Because this morning
was kinda awkward.

295
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,436
Yeah...
Totally.

296
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,899
BFF.

297
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:06,644
Dude, what'd you do
to my dad's pants?

298
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:08,106
Shorts, dude.
Check it out.

299
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:09,481
No, they're my dad's pants.

300
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:10,774
I know, you said that.

301
00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:14,717
Why didn't you
just cut your own pants?

302
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:15,751
Dude, I'm not cutting these,

303
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:16,515
they're my favorite jeans.

304
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,687
I can't cut these.

305
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,713
Wow, Chels. Those two have
done a lot of growing up.

306
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:50,477
Okay, but for the record, I said that
Shaq had done a lot of growing up.

307
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,654
Aww. Have we stepped
into Crushville?

308
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:54,980
Who are you texting?

309
00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:56,557
Oh, just a guy.

310
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:03,958
You made out with
Shaquille, didn't you?

311
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,100
- Wait, what guy?
- Just someone.

312
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:08,895
<i>Oh, you got
Shaq-adelic, didn't you'?</i>

313
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:18,475
Whatever. It was probably
a mistake, anyway.

314
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,011
So what's his name'?

315
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:21,751
Um...

316
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,768
- God, for fuck's sake. Give me that.
- Stop!

317
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:24,843
Oh!

318
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:27,116
- Stop it!
- He's just so hot.

319
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:30,917
That is so. So,
so not cool.

320
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,664
Why are you keeping
this guy a secret?

321
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:33,952
It sounds kinda hot.

322
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:36,464
He is, he's really sweet.

323
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:37,756
So what's his name'?

324
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,198
Uh, his names Hayden.

325
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:42,666
Hayden? We don't know
any Haydens, do we?

326
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:44,270
How long have you been dating?

327
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:46,271
- Well...
- Well... what?

328
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:47,533
How long?

329
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:50,815
Well, we like, text everyday.

330
00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:52,776
Please tell me that you've like,

331
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:55,542
actually seen this guy
in person, right?

332
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,321
We send pics too.

333
00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,318
Jesus...

334
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:03,560
You know, what? You two have set
our gender back like 20 years

335
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,557
with your little
pseudo relationships.

336
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,331
Awesome.

337
00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:10,966
I sent him a video once too.

338
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:14,034
Okay, wow. Like you've
never met him in person?

339
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,398
Shut up, you made out with Shaq.

340
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:19,401
Word.

341
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,099
That's why I think
we should open up

342
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:24,644
our medical marijuana
retail store.

343
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,383
What'? Think about it.

344
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:27,673
I know about weed,

345
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:30,386
and you know
about business stuff.

346
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:34,217
But coach NUTHERCUT,
isn't he like 30?

347
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,050
Yeah, well,
she is a cheerleader.

348
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:38,556
I guess the teenage cock
isn't doing it for her.

349
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,991
Speaking of which,
I heard that she is deformed

350
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:44,496
- in that ar ea.
- What?

351
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:46,168
Sideshow told me
that Eric told him

352
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:47,426
that my cousin, Dane...

353
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,400
Dane, from like
dead hooker surprise?

354
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,436
That's the one.
So anyway,

355
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:52,971
he was like making out with her

356
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:55,444
and he says that
she has oversized...

357
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,737
An oversized what?

358
00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:59,948
You know...

359
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:01,239
Eww!

360
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:04,209
But apparently the hose monkey

361
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:06,220
does have a talent
for fellatio though.

362
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,719
Oh, I totally respect her now.

363
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:10,619
Well, what makes her
blow-jobs so great?

364
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,237
I don't know,
maybe the E.T. Bitch

365
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:13,693
has two heads
like "alien."

366
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:18,067
Oh, my god.

367
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,894
I would love to make
a cheerleader Popsicle

368
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:22,729
out of that.

369
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:24,149
How many licks would it take

370
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,035
to get to the center
of a cheerleader?

371
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,575
Look at that ass.

372
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:31,246
- That ls an...
- Oh...

373
00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:33,608
Shaquille!
Marion!

374
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,186
Why aren't you
two participating?

375
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:38,081
- I'm anemic, a little weak.
- I have asthma.

376
00:19:38,377 --> 00:19:39,688
Son, what in the hell
are you wearing?

377
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:40,816
Shorts, sir.

378
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:42,624
You look like goddamn
huckleberry hound.

379
00:19:42,648 --> 00:19:43,956
And those aren't shorts.

380
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,295
Actually, shorts are just pants

381
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:52,060
that you chop off
at the leg, coach.

382
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:55,465
Precision, granted, but I mean, It's...
- Shaquille!

383
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:56,967
Shut up!

384
00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:59,903
Son, you're named after
a goddamn sports legend.

385
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:01,645
And look at you.

386
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:05,313
Why can't you two be more
like Van Horn over here?

387
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,951
He's dragging himself around.

388
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:12,188
That silly walk.

389
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:13,684
Arm all funky.

390
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,254
But you know what?

391
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:18,620
He doesn't let it stop him
from trying to succeed.

392
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,659
And you two...

393
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,694
Fake asthma.

394
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:24,629
Anemia. You should be
ashamed of yourself.

395
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:26,633
Goddamn ashamed.

396
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,837
Hit the track.

397
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,301
Now!

398
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,873
So, do you guys like, think that guys
even care that much about blow-jobs?

399
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,309
You're fucking
kidding me, right?

400
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:41,812
Yeah, I'm kidding.

401
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:46,955
Wait, you've never
done it, have you?

402
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:50,160
- Okay, well, I have sort of.
- Sort of?

403
00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:52,486
I think you'd know if you
had a dick in your mouth.

404
00:20:54,286 --> 00:20:55,697
Okay, well, I've never done it.

405
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,165
So I just want to be good at it

406
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:59,032
whenever it does happen to me.

407
00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:01,566
Okay.

408
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:04,137
Come here.

409
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:05,397
What?

410
00:21:05,464 --> 00:21:06,504
Come on, don't be a prude.

411
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:07,908
This is purely educational.

412
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,578
Come on.

413
00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:18,488
So dance your tongue
around the tip.

414
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:21,918
Like a dainty ballerina.

415
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:23,215
Like this?

416
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,325
Mm-hmm. Okay.

417
00:21:25,584 --> 00:21:27,564
Now put your lips around
your teeth like this.

418
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:28,864
And that way you don't bite it.

419
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:29,888
- Okay?
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

420
00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:31,524
Now, put it in your mouth,

421
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:34,270
and go as far down the
shaft as you possibly can.

422
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:37,669
You like
the smell of that? Yeah?

423
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:41,104
- It's like sweaty socks and bleach and fish and...
- Aww!

424
00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:50,043
Oh, like, this isn't something

425
00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:52,344
that you don't do every day?

426
00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:53,611
Whatever.

427
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:55,057
You freaks are the ones in here

428
00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:57,061
making out
with a piece of fruit.

429
00:21:57,349 --> 00:21:58,851
Don't think
this won't get around.

430
00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:00,688
You're a joke.

431
00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:03,126
Everybody already
thinks your air band...

432
00:22:03,422 --> 00:22:04,422
Is pathetic as fuck.

433
00:22:11,197 --> 00:22:13,643
- Hey, we're not just an air band-
- that... hold on.

434
00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:17,312
You know, what? You have fucked the
majority of the athletic department

435
00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:19,043
and you're currently
working your way

436
00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:21,210
through third string
junior varsity.

437
00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:23,750
You skanks just wish
you could get laid.

438
00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:26,546
Fact is, nobody
wants anything to do

439
00:22:26,812 --> 00:22:28,120
with a dyke air band.

440
00:22:28,414 --> 00:22:30,014
Look, I know you can't
help what happened

441
00:22:30,249 --> 00:22:31,489
between you and your stepfather

442
00:22:31,717 --> 00:22:33,253
when you were like 13, Lolita,

443
00:22:33,552 --> 00:22:34,929
but for the love of baby Jesus,

444
00:22:35,221 --> 00:22:37,599
keep the whisker biscuit
in your pants.

445
00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:39,767
Yeah, I mean,
some people are saying

446
00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:42,596
that your oversized lips

447
00:22:42,895 --> 00:22:45,398
are scaring some guys for life.

448
00:22:53,506 --> 00:22:55,986
Attention students.

449
00:22:56,275 --> 00:22:58,255
I'd like to personally announce

450
00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:00,115
that we are dedicating

451
00:23:00,412 --> 00:23:02,688
the east side of the cafeteria

452
00:23:02,982 --> 00:23:07,453
to memory of Jose Jimenez.

453
00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:09,755
Jose was a great student,

454
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:11,933
and a great friend to many.

455
00:23:12,191 --> 00:23:15,297
And although I had
hardly knew he was,

456
00:23:15,594 --> 00:23:19,872
I'm sure he hung out with the other
Mexican-American students at our school.

457
00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:21,509
Where do you think you're going?

458
00:23:21,801 --> 00:23:23,303
And where are
your spirit ribbons?

459
00:23:23,602 --> 00:23:25,707
Listen up, you ungrateful freak.

460
00:23:26,005 --> 00:23:27,005
You think it's easy

461
00:23:27,273 --> 00:23:28,809
trotting around
in this tiny uniform

462
00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:30,815
in a school filled
with geeks, freaks,

463
00:23:31,110 --> 00:23:32,953
and future sex offenders?

464
00:23:33,212 --> 00:23:34,212
Now...

465
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:35,880
You're gonna put
on a spirit ribbon,

466
00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:38,291
and act like you care
about the game.

467
00:24:11,250 --> 00:24:13,010
- Hey.
- Aren't you supposed to be in school?

468
00:24:13,085 --> 00:24:15,361
It's lunch time.

469
00:24:19,191 --> 00:24:20,191
Hey, Brett.

470
00:24:20,426 --> 00:24:22,565
Oh. If it isn't
Shaquille.

471
00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:24,364
Shaquille o'white guy.

472
00:24:29,568 --> 00:24:30,945
Yeah, that's awesome.

473
00:24:31,237 --> 00:24:33,277
So do you guys like call
each other up every morning

474
00:24:33,405 --> 00:24:34,406
and decide what to wear?

475
00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:35,742
Listen, Shrek.

476
00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:37,241
If I wanted to hear you speak,

477
00:24:37,343 --> 00:24:38,913
I would've acknowledged
your presence.

478
00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:40,722
Side, why don't you
go order something.

479
00:24:40,746 --> 00:24:41,747
Let the men talk.

480
00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:43,390
Whatever.

481
00:24:43,682 --> 00:24:46,595
Why don't you try a mouthful
of your uncle's cock?

482
00:24:46,886 --> 00:24:49,958
I hear it's a childhood
favorite of yours.

483
00:24:52,791 --> 00:24:54,793
I just want to thank you
for the opportunity...

484
00:24:55,094 --> 00:24:56,534
- You know, I'm honored...
- Save it.

485
00:24:56,595 --> 00:24:58,131
I'm doing it as
a favor for my dad.

486
00:24:58,430 --> 00:24:59,950
I still think you're
a fucking outcast.

487
00:25:00,032 --> 00:25:01,272
You're not one of us.

488
00:25:01,567 --> 00:25:02,637
Look, I've changed, okay'?

489
00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:04,710
I'm-I'm going to evolve
and I've decided

490
00:25:04,970 --> 00:25:07,211
that I wanna be
successful like you.

491
00:25:07,473 --> 00:25:09,214
Now, hold on. Before
you get all emotional,

492
00:25:09,475 --> 00:25:11,216
and earnest
on us, Dr. Phil.

493
00:25:11,477 --> 00:25:12,820
I should tell you.

494
00:25:13,112 --> 00:25:16,093
The party's been cancelled.

495
00:25:16,382 --> 00:25:18,055
No... no, no, no.

496
00:25:18,317 --> 00:25:19,317
Why?

497
00:25:19,385 --> 00:25:20,989
Well, if you must know.

498
00:25:21,287 --> 00:25:22,647
My parents
are fumigating the house

499
00:25:22,788 --> 00:25:24,961
for termites this weekend.

500
00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:28,466
So, no location, no party.

501
00:25:28,761 --> 00:25:30,297
No party, no Brett.

502
00:25:30,596 --> 00:25:32,098
No Brett, no gates.

503
00:25:32,398 --> 00:25:33,775
Sorry.

504
00:25:34,066 --> 00:25:36,103
Wait, um, we could
have it at my house.

505
00:25:36,402 --> 00:25:38,507
Your house is shithole.

506
00:25:38,804 --> 00:25:40,112
It is a shithole.
Umm...

507
00:25:40,406 --> 00:25:42,166
Sideshow's... we could
have it at sideshow's-

508
00:25:42,241 --> 00:25:43,652
sideshow has a fantastic house

509
00:25:43,943 --> 00:25:48,483
and his parents are going
to be gone for the weekend.

510
00:25:48,781 --> 00:25:51,762
- No shit?
- No shit.

511
00:25:52,017 --> 00:25:54,520
Are you sure you can pull
off a college party?

512
00:25:54,820 --> 00:25:57,994
I don't want a bunch of
warcraft, halo playin' virgins,

513
00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:00,429
standing around
eating chips and dip

514
00:26:00,693 --> 00:26:02,502
scaring off all
the symmetrical tail.

515
00:26:02,795 --> 00:26:04,832
- You understand?
- I do. I do.

516
00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:06,741
And you don't have
anything to worry about

517
00:26:06,765 --> 00:26:09,041
because I have thrown

518
00:26:09,335 --> 00:26:11,815
quite a few badass parties.

519
00:26:18,978 --> 00:26:20,138
- No high school kids.
- None.

520
00:26:20,212 --> 00:26:23,318
None. No worries.
I got it.

521
00:26:23,615 --> 00:26:25,060
Well, you should get to work

522
00:26:25,351 --> 00:26:26,557
run along then.

523
00:26:26,852 --> 00:26:28,695
I'm gonna go.
Gonna go.

524
00:26:28,988 --> 00:26:31,662
I would totally rub your feet.

525
00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:33,402
In fact, put 'em up here.

526
00:26:33,692 --> 00:26:36,332
Never think about my feet, okay?

527
00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:37,629
Hey, let's go.

528
00:26:37,896 --> 00:26:39,569
- I'm eating pie.
- Forget about your pie.

529
00:26:39,865 --> 00:26:41,208
Shaq. Hi...

530
00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:43,571
Rebecca...
It was good.

531
00:26:43,869 --> 00:26:45,371
Let's go.

532
00:26:52,411 --> 00:26:54,322
Oh, hey, can we stop
by my friend's house?

533
00:26:54,580 --> 00:26:55,991
I gotta pick something
up real quick.

534
00:26:56,015 --> 00:26:57,015
What friend?

535
00:26:57,082 --> 00:26:58,083
Um...
Just a guy.

536
00:26:58,384 --> 00:26:59,494
Wait, wait,
no, no, no, no, no...

537
00:26:59,518 --> 00:27:01,361
Dude, dude, calm down.

538
00:27:01,653 --> 00:27:03,893
- Don't be such a "Debbie downer"
- I'm a "Debbie downer"

539
00:27:03,922 --> 00:27:05,722
because I don't want
a drug deal on my record.

540
00:27:05,858 --> 00:27:08,018
I can't get into college
with a drug deal on my record.

541
00:27:08,260 --> 00:27:09,860
A drug deal'? What are
you talking about?

542
00:27:09,895 --> 00:27:11,431
Drug deal?
This isn't "Miami vice."

543
00:27:11,730 --> 00:27:13,930
I'm not going to buy ten keys
of coke from Tony Montana,

544
00:27:14,099 --> 00:27:15,099
all right?

545
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,508
This is rover.
He's cool.

546
00:27:16,769 --> 00:27:18,009
Sonny Crockett is "Miami vice,"

547
00:27:18,070 --> 00:27:19,413
Tony Montana
is "Scarface."

548
00:27:19,705 --> 00:27:21,116
You really should know this

549
00:27:21,407 --> 00:27:24,047
- you're a dude.
- Okay, whatever. The point is,

550
00:27:24,343 --> 00:27:26,016
I'm going in there
to buy some weed, okay?

551
00:27:26,278 --> 00:27:27,848
Personal use,
saw it on the news,

552
00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:30,115
it's perfectly legal.
Medical marijuana.

553
00:27:30,416 --> 00:27:32,191
Oh yeah, first off,
you're an idiot.

554
00:27:32,451 --> 00:27:34,732
Second off, you need a prescription
for medical marijuana,

555
00:27:34,953 --> 00:27:36,498
which you don't have,
and even if you did,

556
00:27:36,522 --> 00:27:38,099
you can't buy it from
some guy named rover,

557
00:27:38,123 --> 00:27:39,898
you need to buy it from
a licensed facility.

558
00:27:40,192 --> 00:27:41,392
Okay, well, it's almost legal.

559
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:42,732
No, it's not.

560
00:27:45,631 --> 00:27:46,939
Okay, and hey, don't be asking

561
00:27:47,232 --> 00:27:48,632
any of your weird
fucking questions.

562
00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:49,974
What weird questions?

563
00:27:50,269 --> 00:27:52,269
You're like MONTEL Williams
when you meet somebody.

564
00:27:52,304 --> 00:27:53,476
Just sit there and shut up.

565
00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:54,812
No, no, I make small talk.

566
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:56,610
I'm good at it.

567
00:27:56,909 --> 00:27:58,909
Okay, well, no.
People think it's weird.

568
00:27:58,977 --> 00:28:00,650
Just don't do it.

569
00:28:10,456 --> 00:28:12,060
Hey, rover!

570
00:28:12,324 --> 00:28:14,133
What the fuck?

571
00:28:19,798 --> 00:28:21,398
Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck is he?

572
00:28:21,567 --> 00:28:22,978
Hey, rover.
What's going on, man?

573
00:28:23,268 --> 00:28:25,270
Fuck how it's going,
and what's going on.

574
00:28:25,571 --> 00:28:27,778
Who the fuck is this
little motherfucker.

575
00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:29,717
Dude, don't worry, he's a
friend of mine, he's cool.

576
00:28:29,741 --> 00:28:30,981
I'll decide who's fucking cool,

577
00:28:31,176 --> 00:28:32,655
now who the fuck are you?

578
00:28:32,945 --> 00:28:34,322
- I said, he's a friend of mine.
- Shh.

579
00:28:34,346 --> 00:28:36,792
- His names Shaq.
- Did I ask you?

580
00:28:37,082 --> 00:28:39,084
I asked him. What the
fuck is wrong with him?

581
00:28:39,351 --> 00:28:40,830
He can't talk?
You can't talk?

582
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:42,793
You some kind of
mute or something?

583
00:28:43,088 --> 00:28:45,159
Or are you an undercover cop?

584
00:28:45,457 --> 00:28:46,595
Huh?

585
00:28:46,859 --> 00:28:48,136
Observe and report,
is that your thing?

586
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:49,640
I'm not a cop.
He told me not to talk.

587
00:28:49,928 --> 00:28:51,100
- He...
- What?

588
00:28:51,363 --> 00:28:53,043
Why would you tell him
not to fucking talk?

589
00:28:53,298 --> 00:28:54,909
It's no big deal, man,
I just didn't want him to say

590
00:28:54,933 --> 00:28:55,973
anything to freak you out.

591
00:28:56,034 --> 00:28:57,234
What is this guy liable to say

592
00:28:57,503 --> 00:29:01,474
that's gonna be fucking
freaking me out, man?

593
00:29:01,773 --> 00:29:03,377
I'll tell you what.

594
00:29:03,675 --> 00:29:04,915
He's freaking me out right now,

595
00:29:04,943 --> 00:29:07,321
and he ain't saying shit.

596
00:29:09,314 --> 00:29:12,352
Creepy-eyed motherfucker.

597
00:29:14,653 --> 00:29:17,497
I got my eye on you, columbine.

598
00:29:24,329 --> 00:29:25,899
All right.

599
00:29:27,232 --> 00:29:28,302
Come on.

600
00:29:35,841 --> 00:29:38,515
I told you, it's like a nest
for retards, this house.

601
00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:40,153
Huh?

602
00:29:40,412 --> 00:29:41,452
- Let's party!
- All right.

603
00:29:41,713 --> 00:29:42,748
- Let's do it!
- Yes.

604
00:29:46,351 --> 00:29:50,322
This is some
top-level shit.

605
00:29:51,857 --> 00:29:53,034
None of that
ghetto-ass dirt weed

606
00:29:53,058 --> 00:29:54,258
them Julios be trying to push.

607
00:29:54,526 --> 00:29:56,028
This...

608
00:29:57,396 --> 00:29:59,000
Is premium velvet.

609
00:29:59,264 --> 00:30:00,572
More THC per ounce

610
00:30:00,866 --> 00:30:04,336
than any other weed
on the motherfucking planet.

611
00:30:04,603 --> 00:30:06,378
Now...

612
00:30:06,672 --> 00:30:09,175
I call it the equalizer

613
00:30:09,441 --> 00:30:12,285
because I don't care
who you are.

614
00:30:12,578 --> 00:30:14,353
Be it the janitor,

615
00:30:14,613 --> 00:30:17,856
or the president
of the United States

616
00:30:18,116 --> 00:30:21,791
of the motherfucking world.

617
00:30:24,022 --> 00:30:25,729
When you smoke this shit,

618
00:30:26,024 --> 00:30:28,800
you're all gonna
be on the same level.

619
00:30:29,094 --> 00:30:31,404
Laying on the floor,

620
00:30:31,697 --> 00:30:34,940
staring at the ceilings.

621
00:30:35,234 --> 00:30:39,580
Not thinking about
a motherfucking thing.

622
00:30:48,780 --> 00:30:52,250
Hey!

623
00:30:54,953 --> 00:30:56,830
Shit.
This weed might make

624
00:30:57,122 --> 00:31:00,501
your ol' creepy eyes
over here even cooler.

625
00:31:00,792 --> 00:31:01,869
Why do you keep saying that?

626
00:31:01,893 --> 00:31:04,806
I'm not creepy.

627
00:31:05,097 --> 00:31:06,269
I'm not.

628
00:31:06,565 --> 00:31:10,138
Oh, you're creepy, all right.

629
00:31:10,435 --> 00:31:14,781
But hey, I mean,
I'm cool with it.

630
00:31:15,073 --> 00:31:18,646
I don't cast dispersions.

631
00:31:18,944 --> 00:31:22,255
Now, make no mistake, about it,

632
00:31:22,514 --> 00:31:25,620
you're a creepy little fucker.

633
00:32:01,553 --> 00:32:03,464
This is $250.

634
00:32:11,997 --> 00:32:14,008
Are you crazy? We can't throw
a party at my parents' house,

635
00:32:14,032 --> 00:32:15,807
- they'll kill me.
- Come on, we're lucky.

636
00:32:16,068 --> 00:32:17,312
You know, 'cause they're gonna be
out of town, they'll never know.

637
00:32:17,336 --> 00:32:18,616
Dude, you don't know
how to throw

638
00:32:18,870 --> 00:32:20,975
a high school party,
let alone a college party.

639
00:32:21,239 --> 00:32:25,346
What, are you kidding? You remember the
halo pajama jammy jam? It was legendary.

640
00:32:25,644 --> 00:32:26,714
These are college people,

641
00:32:27,012 --> 00:32:28,652
they're not like
normal people, all right?

642
00:32:28,914 --> 00:32:31,656
College girls have expectations.

643
00:32:31,917 --> 00:32:33,863
That's why I have this.

644
00:32:34,152 --> 00:32:35,552
- What's this?
- It's a cheat sheet.

645
00:32:35,754 --> 00:32:37,714
A guide, if you will,
to throwing a college party.

646
00:32:41,727 --> 00:32:43,400
It's blank.

647
00:32:43,695 --> 00:32:46,107
Okay, I haven't had time
to fill it in yet.

648
00:32:46,398 --> 00:32:49,936
So what are some things we're gonna
need to throw a college party?

649
00:32:50,235 --> 00:32:52,374
- I don't know.
- Aw, come on, man. Think about this.

650
00:32:52,671 --> 00:32:53,671
Come on, get-

651
00:32:53,739 --> 00:32:54,982
we've seen a lot of these movies

652
00:32:55,006 --> 00:32:57,043
about you know, parties,
college chicks.

653
00:32:57,342 --> 00:32:58,902
Like what... what do
they have in those,

654
00:32:59,177 --> 00:33:01,097
that we don't have that
we need to put into this?

655
00:33:01,213 --> 00:33:02,419
Beer. Kegs of beer.

656
00:33:02,714 --> 00:33:04,352
Kegs of beer.

657
00:33:04,616 --> 00:33:07,028
See, it's easy.

658
00:33:07,285 --> 00:33:08,285
Good-
kegs of beer... yes!

659
00:33:14,059 --> 00:33:17,302
Shaquille Horowitz,
we need to talk.

660
00:33:17,596 --> 00:33:19,872
I hear you're th rowing a party.

661
00:33:20,132 --> 00:33:22,203
I know you're throwing
a party and I wanna go.

662
00:33:22,467 --> 00:33:24,743
I have to go.
I'm popular. Got it?

663
00:33:25,036 --> 00:33:26,447
I can make it worth your while.

664
00:33:26,738 --> 00:33:28,718
Or I can make it a nightmare.

665
00:33:28,974 --> 00:33:31,113
Your call, loser.

666
00:33:31,410 --> 00:33:32,980
See you tonight, fellas.

667
00:33:38,550 --> 00:33:41,656
So, do you think I wouldn't
ask you again, slutster?

668
00:33:41,953 --> 00:33:43,261
Shaq?

669
00:33:43,555 --> 00:33:44,966
There's not really
anything to tell.

670
00:33:45,257 --> 00:33:47,100
Okay, lie.

671
00:33:47,392 --> 00:33:50,896
Hey, did you guys know that sideshows
having a costume party tonight?

672
00:33:51,163 --> 00:33:52,733
- Sideshow's having a party?
- Yeah.

673
00:33:52,998 --> 00:33:53,998
Wait, our sideshow'?

674
00:33:54,266 --> 00:33:55,939
Like the Shrek-looking
blockhead?

675
00:33:56,234 --> 00:33:57,311
Yeah, that's what Hayden says.

676
00:33:57,335 --> 00:33:58,905
That's can't be right.

677
00:33:59,171 --> 00:34:00,172
'Sup ladies.

678
00:34:00,472 --> 00:34:01,644
Hey, Chelsea.

679
00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:04,420
So what's this
I hear about a party'?

680
00:34:04,676 --> 00:34:06,178
Huh? What?

681
00:34:06,478 --> 00:34:07,838
How does everybody
know about that?

682
00:34:08,013 --> 00:34:10,584
So it's true?

683
00:34:10,849 --> 00:34:12,328
Uh, yeah.

684
00:34:12,617 --> 00:34:14,495
Um, actually, that's what
I wanted to talk to you about.

685
00:34:14,519 --> 00:34:17,193
Okay. What did
you want to ask me?

686
00:34:17,489 --> 00:34:20,629
Uh... this is kinda awkward
'cause of this morning.

687
00:34:20,926 --> 00:34:22,428
And all but um,
I was gonna ask you

688
00:34:22,694 --> 00:34:23,832
if maybe you'd, um...

689
00:34:24,129 --> 00:34:26,700
Yes! Yes,
of course I will.

690
00:34:26,998 --> 00:34:28,944
Wow. Wow!

691
00:34:29,201 --> 00:34:30,509
Gee, this is great.

692
00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:33,476
I actually didn't know
how I was gonna get a keg.

693
00:34:33,772 --> 00:34:35,183
I remember that
you and your sister...

694
00:34:35,207 --> 00:34:36,686
You have your sisters ID.

695
00:34:36,975 --> 00:34:39,956
I thought you were gonna say no.

696
00:34:40,212 --> 00:34:44,820
Yeah, of course. You can't
have a party without a keg.

697
00:34:45,116 --> 00:34:46,116
Right?

698
00:34:46,184 --> 00:34:49,722
I know. You can't.

699
00:34:50,021 --> 00:34:52,661
You are so cool.

700
00:34:52,958 --> 00:34:54,403
Yeah, Chelsea, I mean...

701
00:34:54,693 --> 00:34:56,832
You are so cool!

702
00:34:57,128 --> 00:35:01,042
So let us go forth
and get a keg.

703
00:35:01,333 --> 00:35:02,333
- Yeah?
- Let's.

704
00:35:02,467 --> 00:35:05,539
You, me...

705
00:35:05,837 --> 00:35:08,317
So, what are gonna
be for the party tonight?

706
00:35:08,573 --> 00:35:09,711
I don't know.

707
00:35:10,008 --> 00:35:13,888
I'm thinking about being
a slutty German barmaid.

708
00:35:14,179 --> 00:35:15,852
♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

709
00:35:16,147 --> 00:35:17,888
♪ we wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

710
00:35:18,183 --> 00:35:23,098
♪ we wish you a merry Christmas
and a happy new year <i>♪</i>

711
00:35:30,028 --> 00:35:31,735
♪ With tidings we bring... ♪

712
00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:34,030
- What up, my Rasta brotha?
- I'm not your brother.

713
00:35:34,099 --> 00:35:37,512
And don't be giving me that
island Rasta bullshit, white boy.

714
00:35:37,769 --> 00:35:38,769
Where's the bathroom'?

715
00:35:38,904 --> 00:35:39,904
It's for employees only.

716
00:35:40,005 --> 00:35:41,609
So buy something or leave.

717
00:35:41,907 --> 00:35:44,114
- Hello.
- What do you want?

718
00:35:44,409 --> 00:35:48,186
I would like to purchase
this beef stick,

719
00:35:48,446 --> 00:35:51,052
this energy shot...

720
00:35:51,349 --> 00:35:52,794
I'm working the graveyard shift.

721
00:35:53,084 --> 00:35:54,085
Ah, this...
What is this?

722
00:35:54,386 --> 00:35:56,388
Lemon, lime. Delicious.

723
00:35:56,688 --> 00:35:59,635
Uh, fried pie...

724
00:35:59,925 --> 00:36:04,601
This adorable cupcake, and...

725
00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:07,706
And a keg of beer.

726
00:36:09,401 --> 00:36:12,245
Not-not-
not for me.

727
00:36:12,537 --> 00:36:16,314
It's for my husband.

728
00:36:16,608 --> 00:36:20,146
It's his turn to bring the
beer for the union...

729
00:36:20,445 --> 00:36:21,890
Meeting.

730
00:36:22,147 --> 00:36:23,717
Uh, yeah.
The union.

731
00:36:23,982 --> 00:36:26,394
Uh, local steelworker 896.

732
00:36:26,651 --> 00:36:28,631
Uh, got a lot of meetings.

733
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,059
Lot of negotiations,
big vote coming up.

734
00:36:31,323 --> 00:36:32,323
Yeah...

735
00:36:32,557 --> 00:36:33,801
You know, there's
talk of strike.

736
00:36:33,825 --> 00:36:35,270
- Yeah...
- You know, uh...

737
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:36,760
Jimmy Hoffa's actually talking

738
00:36:36,828 --> 00:36:38,398
about making big changes,

739
00:36:38,663 --> 00:36:40,663
but I don't think it's gonna
set well with the mob-

740
00:36:40,799 --> 00:36:42,176
you know, honey,
we shouldn't-

741
00:36:42,467 --> 00:36:44,174
we shouldn't bore
this poor gentleman

742
00:36:44,469 --> 00:36:47,609
with your boring union talk.

743
00:36:47,906 --> 00:36:49,283
- Okay.
- Yeah.

744
00:36:49,574 --> 00:36:52,282
It'll be $63.50.

745
00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:55,319
Great, you wanna get this one...

746
00:36:55,614 --> 00:36:56,614
Honey?

747
00:36:56,848 --> 00:36:59,158
- I do.
- Sweetie, sweetie bear.

748
00:36:59,451 --> 00:37:00,930
With my wallet.

749
00:37:01,186 --> 00:37:03,029
- And the money.
- Yeah.

750
00:37:03,321 --> 00:37:05,699
- For the keg of beer we are purchasing.
- Yep.

751
00:37:07,926 --> 00:37:10,304
At the tone,
please record your message.

752
00:37:10,595 --> 00:37:12,836
- - Hey cock
wizard, it's Brett again.

753
00:37:13,131 --> 00:37:14,667
You remember me, right?

754
00:37:14,966 --> 00:37:18,140
The head of the
scholarship committee.

755
00:37:18,436 --> 00:37:20,507
Yeah, you know, where your
whole futures riding on?

756
00:37:20,805 --> 00:37:22,614
Yeah. Yeah, me again.
Don't fuck it up.

757
00:37:25,844 --> 00:37:28,654
So, uh, I think we made
a pretty good team in there.

758
00:37:28,947 --> 00:37:30,267
Well, I know three
very hot chicks

759
00:37:30,348 --> 00:37:32,487
that are going
to a wicked costume party.

760
00:37:32,784 --> 00:37:34,229
Yeah...
Um, about that.

761
00:37:34,519 --> 00:37:35,725
What about that'?

762
00:37:36,021 --> 00:37:38,023
Well, it's not really
my party per Se. So...

763
00:37:38,323 --> 00:37:40,030
Yeah, whatever, dickwad.
We're coming.

764
00:37:40,325 --> 00:37:42,134
Yeah, I'm gonna be
a slutty German barmaid.

765
00:37:42,394 --> 00:37:44,340
Dude, I gotta piss.

766
00:37:44,629 --> 00:37:46,404
Now?

767
00:37:46,698 --> 00:37:48,507
Classy...

768
00:38:03,748 --> 00:38:05,523
Well, you see,

769
00:38:05,817 --> 00:38:07,592
it's a funny thing.

770
00:38:07,886 --> 00:38:10,366
I have all six ID's,

771
00:38:10,655 --> 00:38:14,034
but there only seems
to be five of you.

772
00:38:14,325 --> 00:38:18,865
Now why do you suppose
that would be?

773
00:38:19,164 --> 00:38:21,371
Perhaps, because the only ID

774
00:38:21,666 --> 00:38:24,579
belonging to anyone
over 21 years of age

775
00:38:24,869 --> 00:38:25,574
isn't here.

776
00:38:25,870 --> 00:38:26,870
We're really sorry.

777
00:38:27,038 --> 00:38:30,611
Shut your mouth,
Mr. Manson.

778
00:38:30,909 --> 00:38:32,582
Don't think I'm not
onto your little cult.

779
00:38:32,877 --> 00:38:34,255
You think you're gonna
have a crime spree

780
00:38:34,279 --> 00:38:35,589
in my neighborhood
and get away with it?

781
00:38:35,613 --> 00:38:37,923
- Crime spree'?
- Well, let's see...

782
00:38:38,216 --> 00:38:40,628
Well, we got one act
of indecent exposure,

783
00:38:40,919 --> 00:38:42,728
coupled with vandalism.

784
00:38:43,021 --> 00:38:45,968
And since Mr. Motomol said you
referred to him as an island brother.

785
00:38:46,257 --> 00:38:47,793
Which I can only surmise

786
00:38:48,093 --> 00:38:50,767
is a slur against his ethnicity,

787
00:38:51,062 --> 00:38:53,372
that makes it a hate crime.

788
00:38:53,631 --> 00:38:55,133
One count of fraud,

789
00:38:55,433 --> 00:38:56,776
one count of
presenting a false ID

790
00:38:57,068 --> 00:38:58,877
in an attempt to commit a crime.

791
00:38:59,137 --> 00:39:00,707
Various vehicle
violations that I'm sure

792
00:39:00,972 --> 00:39:02,110
by the looks of that heap.

793
00:39:02,407 --> 00:39:04,614
As well as the Mann act
for you, Mr. Manson.

794
00:39:04,909 --> 00:39:05,909
Mann act?

795
00:39:06,077 --> 00:39:07,715
Get your hands on your head.

796
00:39:07,979 --> 00:39:10,220
I'm right behind you, boy.

797
00:39:10,482 --> 00:39:13,395
I got my hand on my gun.

798
00:39:13,651 --> 00:39:14,994
The Mann act.

799
00:39:15,286 --> 00:39:18,096
Whoever knowingly transports
any woman or girl

800
00:39:18,389 --> 00:39:19,467
for the purpose of debauchery,

801
00:39:19,491 --> 00:39:21,402
or any other immoral purpose.

802
00:39:21,659 --> 00:39:23,137
I hope you hadn't
had anything planned

803
00:39:23,161 --> 00:39:27,632
for the next 25 years.

804
00:39:27,932 --> 00:39:29,138
- Hey, dad.
- Oh, hey, baby.

805
00:39:29,434 --> 00:39:32,847
How are you?

806
00:39:33,138 --> 00:39:34,415
What did these guys do?

807
00:39:34,439 --> 00:39:35,599
Well, they tried to buy beer.

808
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:39,520
The fat one exposed himself.

809
00:39:39,811 --> 00:39:42,087
Hey, look with your head-
hey, look ahead!

810
00:39:42,347 --> 00:39:44,327
He's a little smurf.

811
00:39:53,792 --> 00:39:57,262
Well, Van Horn says
your good people.

812
00:39:57,529 --> 00:39:59,440
So I'm gonna cut you a break.

813
00:39:59,697 --> 00:40:01,836
But I have to confiscate
the beer though.

814
00:40:02,133 --> 00:40:04,113
- Really?
- Yeah, really.

815
00:40:04,369 --> 00:40:08,442
You know, you should try to be
more like Van Horn over there.

816
00:40:08,706 --> 00:40:10,811
He's a goddamn inspiration.

817
00:40:15,146 --> 00:40:18,150
Hey, I just wanna say thanks for
helping us with the cop back there.

818
00:40:18,449 --> 00:40:19,723
Fuck you, man.

819
00:40:20,018 --> 00:40:21,361
I did it for the party.

820
00:40:21,653 --> 00:40:23,792
I still think
you're a faggot.

821
00:41:05,530 --> 00:41:08,130
- Can you believe... -i can't believe
we're not in jail right now.

822
00:41:08,399 --> 00:41:11,539
Or we didn't have a serious
accident with a nightstick.

823
00:41:13,605 --> 00:41:14,777
Hold it, one second.

824
00:41:15,073 --> 00:41:16,108
Um, hey, brew.

825
00:41:16,407 --> 00:41:17,112
It's Brett'.

826
00:41:17,408 --> 00:41:18,408
Uh...

827
00:41:18,443 --> 00:41:19,854
Hey, sticky buns.
Yeah...

828
00:41:20,111 --> 00:41:21,784
Hey, you got a band
lined up. Right?

829
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,254
Of course I have a band
lined up for the party.

830
00:41:25,550 --> 00:41:26,961
Mm, I hope so.

831
00:41:27,252 --> 00:41:29,095
I hate to see that
scholarship get taken away.

832
00:41:29,387 --> 00:41:31,594
Okay. Um...

833
00:41:31,890 --> 00:41:33,170
All right, see you tonight, bud.

834
00:41:33,224 --> 00:41:35,431
Uh, deuces to you, as well.

835
00:41:35,727 --> 00:41:38,571
Okay...
Oh, he hung up.

836
00:41:38,863 --> 00:41:39,864
I know a great band.

837
00:41:40,131 --> 00:41:41,131
Oh, do you?

838
00:41:41,266 --> 00:41:42,409
The only band you need to know

839
00:41:42,433 --> 00:41:44,640
is the Brei I penis band, okay?

840
00:41:49,641 --> 00:41:51,712
Um...

841
00:41:51,976 --> 00:41:53,956
Chelsea, I have a really
huge favor to ask you.

842
00:41:54,245 --> 00:41:56,623
Okay, dude,
I forgive for everything.

843
00:41:56,915 --> 00:41:58,475
Of course the bitchin'
daisies will play

844
00:41:58,583 --> 00:42:00,654
for your party tonight.
I love you.

845
00:42:00,952 --> 00:42:03,091
I mean...
Like- I...

846
00:42:03,388 --> 00:42:05,595
The thing is,
I love your band...

847
00:42:05,890 --> 00:42:08,302
The bitchin' daisies
are awesome.

848
00:42:08,593 --> 00:42:11,631
But...

849
00:42:11,930 --> 00:42:14,774
Brett really wants
Dane's band to play.

850
00:42:17,468 --> 00:42:18,469
So...

851
00:42:18,770 --> 00:42:19,942
Oh...

852
00:42:20,238 --> 00:42:22,275
Yeah...

853
00:42:22,573 --> 00:42:24,917
You know, we're not really ready
to play a gig yet, anyway.

854
00:42:25,176 --> 00:42:28,282
I was just... I was just
trying to help you out.

855
00:42:28,579 --> 00:42:30,957
You were...

856
00:42:31,249 --> 00:42:33,695
Dane! Dead hooker surprise.

857
00:42:33,985 --> 00:42:35,623
Dane. Yeah.

858
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:39,129
You know, I don't know that
they would play a house party.

859
00:42:39,424 --> 00:42:40,630
I was thinking that

860
00:42:40,925 --> 00:42:43,303
but I figured
since you're his cousin.

861
00:42:43,594 --> 00:42:46,268
You'd talk to him.
Talk him into it.

862
00:42:46,531 --> 00:42:47,531
Sure.

863
00:42:47,598 --> 00:42:48,668
I could do that.

864
00:42:48,967 --> 00:42:50,969
It would mean a lot to me.

865
00:42:51,269 --> 00:42:52,612
No problem,

866
00:42:52,870 --> 00:42:54,510
I mean that's what
friends are for, right?

867
00:42:54,539 --> 00:42:57,349
Well... wow.
Yes.

868
00:42:57,642 --> 00:42:59,212
Um, you're the best.
You know that.

869
00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:03,617
And um, you know, I'm like
your band's biggest fan.

870
00:43:03,881 --> 00:43:05,690
- I think so.
- Really?

871
00:43:05,984 --> 00:43:10,023
Cool, 'cause I'm pretty sure
you've never like heard us play.

872
00:43:10,321 --> 00:43:11,698
Funny how that worked out.

873
00:43:11,990 --> 00:43:14,300
Okay. All right.

874
00:43:39,817 --> 00:43:43,094
Chelsea, this is your sister.

875
00:43:43,388 --> 00:43:44,833
We need to talk.

876
00:44:03,341 --> 00:44:05,218
Sorry, folks, I don't
handle novelty acts.

877
00:44:05,510 --> 00:44:06,614
Uh, what'?

878
00:44:06,911 --> 00:44:08,720
The whole eclectic
nerd thing has passed

879
00:44:09,013 --> 00:44:11,289
kids want mopey, sad,
vampire, "twilight" stuff.

880
00:44:11,582 --> 00:44:13,220
I- were not
actually in a band.

881
00:44:13,518 --> 00:44:14,758
We're here about a band.

882
00:44:15,053 --> 00:44:16,930
Oh, really? Well, I
like the sound of that.

883
00:44:17,221 --> 00:44:18,393
What's it for?

884
00:44:18,689 --> 00:44:20,362
A huge party.
Tons of hot college chicks.

885
00:44:20,625 --> 00:44:23,367
Yeah? Yeah?
What band are you looking for?

886
00:44:23,628 --> 00:44:24,629
Dead hooker surprise.

887
00:44:24,929 --> 00:44:26,306
Ahh.

888
00:44:26,597 --> 00:44:28,873
DHS.
A good choice.

889
00:44:29,133 --> 00:44:30,874
And one of my top acts.

890
00:44:31,135 --> 00:44:32,613
No way they're
doing the party though.

891
00:44:32,637 --> 00:44:33,911
They're way too big for that.

892
00:44:34,205 --> 00:44:36,005
And besides, they're
recording an album, so...

893
00:44:36,207 --> 00:44:37,481
No live performances.

894
00:44:37,775 --> 00:44:40,915
Ahem, um, I didn't
wanna actually say this but...

895
00:44:41,212 --> 00:44:43,283
She's the cousin
of the bass player.

896
00:44:43,581 --> 00:44:46,289
Hey, everyone is someones cousin.
Okay. Skippy?

897
00:44:46,584 --> 00:44:48,655
And bass players
are temporary at best.

898
00:44:48,953 --> 00:44:50,330
Hardly part of the band at all.

899
00:44:52,090 --> 00:44:53,867
Now perhaps you'd prefer
one of my other bands.

900
00:44:53,891 --> 00:44:55,393
How about pants on to the beast?

901
00:44:55,660 --> 00:44:58,903
Uh, baby bat-fer, nigga please,
dead bed, Lance Boyle,

902
00:44:59,163 --> 00:45:00,441
and one
of my personal favorites,

903
00:45:00,465 --> 00:45:01,637
ass gasket.

904
00:45:01,933 --> 00:45:03,573
Well, we really need
dead hooker surprise.

905
00:45:03,601 --> 00:45:05,239
We kinda promised
that we could get them.

906
00:45:09,841 --> 00:45:12,151
Ah! That was really
stupid, wasn't it?

907
00:45:12,443 --> 00:45:13,443
Dumb.

908
00:45:13,511 --> 00:45:14,854
- Hey, Chelsea.
- Dane.

909
00:45:15,146 --> 00:45:16,352
Hey, what are you doing here?

910
00:45:16,647 --> 00:45:17,955
Hey, Dane, how's it going?

911
00:45:18,249 --> 00:45:20,169
Hey, I love that new sound
you come up with, man.

912
00:45:20,251 --> 00:45:21,251
Great stuff.

913
00:45:21,452 --> 00:45:22,760
I haven't seen you forever.

914
00:45:23,020 --> 00:45:24,020
How are Sage and Rebecca?

915
00:45:24,155 --> 00:45:25,600
They're great.
Were great.

916
00:45:25,857 --> 00:45:27,577
- Becca still keeping you in line?
- Trying.

917
00:45:27,825 --> 00:45:29,636
Nice. Hey, anything you
need, just let me know.

918
00:45:29,660 --> 00:45:32,140
Well, actually,
that's why were here.

919
00:45:32,430 --> 00:45:33,510
I was kinda hoping you guys

920
00:45:33,631 --> 00:45:34,991
could play a party
for me, tonight.

921
00:45:35,099 --> 00:45:37,136
Crazy, huh?

922
00:45:37,435 --> 00:45:39,675
I told them you're way too big
for that sort of nonsense.

923
00:45:39,804 --> 00:45:40,804
It's really important,

924
00:45:41,038 --> 00:45:42,540
it would help me
out of a major bind.

925
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:44,979
- Tonight?
- Yeah, sorry it's such short notice.

926
00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:46,653
Really.

927
00:45:46,944 --> 00:45:48,822
You know what? We were
supposed to do rehearsal.

928
00:45:48,846 --> 00:45:50,624
But I'll just tell the
other guys we have a gig.

929
00:45:50,648 --> 00:45:52,821
Really? Thank you,
that is so awesome.

930
00:45:53,117 --> 00:45:54,391
Sow of a bitch.

931
00:45:57,889 --> 00:45:59,698
Hey, I heard the lambda omegas

932
00:45:59,991 --> 00:46:02,336
have bikini models in these baby
pools full of whipped cream.

933
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:03,998
Lambda omegas are gay.

934
00:46:04,295 --> 00:46:05,865
Now that's just
what I'm talking about

935
00:46:06,164 --> 00:46:07,336
you know why they're gay?

936
00:46:07,632 --> 00:46:08,632
Why?

937
00:46:08,699 --> 00:46:10,872
'Cause they have no originality.

938
00:46:11,169 --> 00:46:12,512
We're gonna use...

939
00:46:12,803 --> 00:46:13,803
Jell-o.

940
00:46:13,871 --> 00:46:14,871
Jell-o?

941
00:46:15,006 --> 00:46:16,679
Yeah. Jell-o.

942
00:46:16,974 --> 00:46:19,648
He's got brains.

943
00:46:19,911 --> 00:46:21,390
That's gross.

944
00:46:21,679 --> 00:46:23,659
Did I tell you to stop?

945
00:46:27,852 --> 00:46:29,763
I...

946
00:46:30,054 --> 00:46:31,260
I really owe you one.

947
00:46:31,556 --> 00:46:32,556
Yeah, you do.

948
00:46:32,723 --> 00:46:35,932
- I'm gonna go.
- I'm gonna go.

949
00:46:44,101 --> 00:46:45,774
Hey, sha-queer.
Yeah, it's Brei l.

950
00:46:46,070 --> 00:46:47,674
Word is you're fucking up, okay?

951
00:46:47,939 --> 00:46:49,350
Get the beer,
stop fucking around.

952
00:46:49,607 --> 00:46:51,348
I don't wanna have to tell gates

953
00:46:51,609 --> 00:46:53,887
that you're bitch ass can't
fucking man up and get the beer.

954
00:46:53,911 --> 00:46:55,948
So call me back with some
good news, all right'?

955
00:46:56,247 --> 00:46:58,022
Is it supposed to be this soft?

956
00:47:06,691 --> 00:47:09,433
Fuck the Diaz brothers,
I'll bury...

957
00:47:09,727 --> 00:47:11,468
What the fuck?
What are you two doing here?

958
00:47:11,762 --> 00:47:13,162
You know this is
my relaxation time.

959
00:47:13,364 --> 00:47:14,484
I know, sorry to bother you.

960
00:47:14,599 --> 00:47:15,805
But this is really important.

961
00:47:16,100 --> 00:47:17,807
How could you
bring him here again?

962
00:47:18,102 --> 00:47:19,142
You know he creeps me out.

963
00:47:19,403 --> 00:47:20,541
We're not here to buy drugs.

964
00:47:20,805 --> 00:47:21,909
So...

965
00:47:22,206 --> 00:47:24,243
Drugs?

966
00:47:29,447 --> 00:47:32,121
Why would you even say that?

967
00:47:39,090 --> 00:47:42,435
That's it.
Lose your clothes.

968
00:47:42,727 --> 00:47:44,400
If you're wearing a wire, I
swear to god-

969
00:47:44,662 --> 00:47:45,662
no no no no no, I'm not.

970
00:47:45,896 --> 00:47:47,176
We're just here
about a beer keg.

971
00:47:47,431 --> 00:47:49,809
We would like some beer keg.

972
00:47:52,470 --> 00:47:54,916
- Kegs of beer?
- Yeah.

973
00:47:55,172 --> 00:47:57,083
- For what?
- Party we're throwing

974
00:47:57,341 --> 00:47:58,341
what kind of party?

975
00:47:58,476 --> 00:47:59,614
Dude, a badass party.

976
00:47:59,910 --> 00:48:03,653
Yes.

977
00:48:03,948 --> 00:48:05,086
There gonna be girls there?

978
00:48:05,349 --> 00:48:06,692
College girls.

979
00:48:06,984 --> 00:48:08,258
Coeds, bro.

980
00:48:08,519 --> 00:48:09,679
Will you come look at my ass.

981
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,025
I think this thong
is giving me a rash.

982
00:48:12,323 --> 00:48:14,132
Or like...
I don't...

983
00:48:14,425 --> 00:48:18,202
Baby, can you not see that I'm
trying to do business over here.

984
00:48:18,496 --> 00:48:21,443
You know, I might be
allergic to your dick.

985
00:48:27,538 --> 00:48:31,145
Just say it.

986
00:48:31,442 --> 00:48:32,819
Okay.

987
00:48:33,110 --> 00:48:35,613
Okay. Yeah.

988
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:37,291
I'll take care of that.

989
00:48:45,222 --> 00:48:48,169
You hear that?

990
00:48:48,459 --> 00:48:49,619
Oh no, I don't hear anything.

991
00:48:49,827 --> 00:48:51,307
Helicopters, man.
You don't hear that?

992
00:48:51,362 --> 00:48:52,067
I don't hear any-

993
00:48:52,363 --> 00:48:53,808
fucking feds.

994
00:48:55,499 --> 00:48:58,173
Fuck!

995
00:48:58,469 --> 00:49:02,713
They use those silent
military helicopters now.

996
00:49:03,007 --> 00:49:06,819
But I can hear them.

997
00:49:07,078 --> 00:49:08,078
You guys gotta go.

998
00:49:08,212 --> 00:49:09,323
- Yeah, we should go.
- Okay.

999
00:49:09,347 --> 00:49:10,485
Get them outta here.

1000
00:49:10,748 --> 00:49:13,490
Okay, okay, okay.
I'm going, I'm going.

1001
00:49:14,819 --> 00:49:15,820
Shit.

1002
00:49:17,588 --> 00:49:20,660
Okay, okay. Okay.

1003
00:49:25,196 --> 00:49:26,834
Uh, rover?

1004
00:49:27,098 --> 00:49:28,236
He's kind of a lunatic.

1005
00:49:28,532 --> 00:49:30,341
Yeah, but he's buying us
beer though.

1006
00:49:30,601 --> 00:49:32,342
We'll see.

1007
00:49:41,078 --> 00:49:42,078
You can't be serious.

1008
00:49:42,279 --> 00:49:43,587
Oh, what's...
What's this?

1009
00:49:43,881 --> 00:49:45,258
What is that? It looks
like a fucking dress.

1010
00:49:45,282 --> 00:49:47,193
Dude, it's a slip.

1011
00:49:47,451 --> 00:49:48,589
It's Freudian slip.

1012
00:49:48,886 --> 00:49:50,729
I've got the terms,
the ego, libido,

1013
00:49:51,021 --> 00:49:52,967
some big word...
It's smart.

1014
00:49:53,257 --> 00:49:54,793
Oh...

1015
00:49:55,092 --> 00:49:56,092
I don't get it.

1016
00:49:56,193 --> 00:49:58,195
Um, smart people will get it.

1017
00:49:58,462 --> 00:49:59,532
College people.

1018
00:49:59,797 --> 00:50:01,299
So you won't have
to worry about it.

1019
00:50:01,599 --> 00:50:03,636
Really, though?
A priest?

1020
00:50:03,934 --> 00:50:05,811
I mean, who wants
to party with a priest.

1021
00:50:06,103 --> 00:50:07,103
What?

1022
00:50:07,271 --> 00:50:09,148
Catholic school girls.

1023
00:50:21,385 --> 00:50:24,491
Strip club, really?
You took me to a strip club?

1024
00:50:24,789 --> 00:50:26,199
What, are we gonna
find a girl willing

1025
00:50:26,223 --> 00:50:27,367
to jell-o wrestle
at the mall?

1026
00:50:27,391 --> 00:50:28,597
I was hoping that we would.

1027
00:50:28,893 --> 00:50:31,339
- I'm... okay, I'm starting to panic.
- Oh, my...

1028
00:50:31,629 --> 00:50:32,972
All right, calm down.
Calm down.

1029
00:50:33,264 --> 00:50:35,208
We just need to pick up
one of these girls. All right?

1030
00:50:35,232 --> 00:50:37,144
Where they... oh, that one
is perfect, right there.

1031
00:50:37,168 --> 00:50:38,168
- Right there?
- Yes.

1032
00:50:38,302 --> 00:50:39,679
- That's a cop.
- What?

1033
00:50:39,970 --> 00:50:42,746
That is a cop. I will not
do time for a stripper.

1034
00:50:43,007 --> 00:50:44,452
You know how I feel about time.

1035
00:50:44,742 --> 00:50:46,787
I couldn't even get through
the first season of "OZ."

1036
00:50:46,811 --> 00:50:48,051
- Okay.
- I will not be Beecher.

1037
00:50:48,078 --> 00:50:51,582
Get out of the car.

1038
00:50:51,849 --> 00:50:54,022
It's like crazy.

1039
00:50:54,318 --> 00:50:56,798
Hi. Excuse me, miss.

1040
00:50:57,087 --> 00:50:58,430
What the fuck do you want, huh?

1041
00:50:58,689 --> 00:51:01,499
Uh... I was
just wondering...

1042
00:51:01,792 --> 00:51:03,999
Are you an employee
of this establishment?

1043
00:51:04,295 --> 00:51:05,575
Are you asking
if I'm a stripper?

1044
00:51:05,763 --> 00:51:08,175
Are you'?

1045
00:51:08,466 --> 00:51:10,810
I'm gonna have
to call you back, okay?

1046
00:51:11,101 --> 00:51:13,672
Ahem, look, little freaky boy,

1047
00:51:13,971 --> 00:51:15,971
I'm not gonna blow you
and your priest friend here,

1048
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:17,480
okay'? Why don't you
run along, okay?

1049
00:51:17,641 --> 00:51:18,779
- That's not...
- No, no.

1050
00:51:19,043 --> 00:51:20,784
We were just wondering,
if maybe you know...

1051
00:51:21,045 --> 00:51:24,891
- You and... - hey, what the
fuck, man, ls some on here?

1052
00:51:25,182 --> 00:51:26,183
Nothing, man, is...

1053
00:51:26,484 --> 00:51:27,804
Were you going
to blow these guys?

1054
00:51:28,052 --> 00:51:30,293
- No... no, no, no.
Santos, por favor.

1055
00:51:30,554 --> 00:51:33,660
Don't start, okay? Don't
start your shit! Huh?

1056
00:51:33,958 --> 00:51:35,699
Are these your regulars, huh?

1057
00:51:35,993 --> 00:51:37,995
Is this the guy
you've been texting?

1058
00:51:38,295 --> 00:51:39,575
- No, no texting.
- No, no. No...

1059
00:51:39,864 --> 00:51:41,344
- We don't text.
- What if it is, huh?

1060
00:51:41,465 --> 00:51:44,309
I can text whoever I want,
whenever I want, huh'?

1061
00:51:44,568 --> 00:51:47,742
- Oh, really?
- We are th rough, Santos. We're through!

1062
00:51:48,038 --> 00:51:50,678
Fucking cut this guy!

1063
00:51:50,975 --> 00:51:53,256
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Dude, guys. Hey, guys!
- Hey... hey...

1064
00:51:53,310 --> 00:51:56,056
- Dude, wait! Relax, relax!
- Santos, you're not gonna cut anybody, okay?

1065
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:58,358
- Why don't you put it away?
- We don't want any trouble, man.

1066
00:51:58,382 --> 00:51:59,520
Yous got trouble, boy!

1067
00:51:59,817 --> 00:52:01,328
You think I'm going
to let you sex text her

1068
00:52:01,352 --> 00:52:03,389
with your sex texting
fingers, motherfucker?

1069
00:52:03,687 --> 00:52:05,257
I am not your woman
anymore, okay?

1070
00:52:05,556 --> 00:52:06,660
I am not your woman.

1071
00:52:06,924 --> 00:52:08,028
What do you mean?

1072
00:52:08,325 --> 00:52:09,325
Of course you are!

1073
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:11,267
Ugh! You really are
an idiot! God-

1074
00:52:11,562 --> 00:52:13,707
- where the fuck do you think you're going?
- Let go of me!

1075
00:52:13,731 --> 00:52:15,375
- Hey hey hey!
- Let go of me! Lit go of me!

1076
00:52:15,399 --> 00:52:17,077
- If yous fucking touch
me, asshole... -Oh.

1077
00:52:17,101 --> 00:52:19,445
Santa Maria PURISIMA,
swear to you!

1078
00:52:19,737 --> 00:52:21,739
- Hey, calm down.
- I'll fucking cut you!

1079
00:52:31,615 --> 00:52:33,424
Who the fuck
do you think you are?

1080
00:52:33,717 --> 00:52:34,855
Huh?

1081
00:52:35,119 --> 00:52:36,598
Who the fuck
do you think you are?

1082
00:52:36,887 --> 00:52:38,230
Maria, please!

1083
00:52:38,522 --> 00:52:41,264
- I wouldn't touch you anyway...
- Oh, really? Oh, really?

1084
00:52:41,559 --> 00:52:43,266
You know, what'?
I fucked them both!

1085
00:52:43,561 --> 00:52:45,302
Huh? What are you
gonna about that.

1086
00:52:46,730 --> 00:52:48,073
It's fucking over!

1087
00:52:48,365 --> 00:52:49,365
Did you?

1088
00:52:49,567 --> 00:52:51,205
Shit!

1089
00:52:51,468 --> 00:52:52,879
Fuck you!

1090
00:52:53,137 --> 00:52:54,878
It's over, motherfucker!

1091
00:53:06,383 --> 00:53:07,453
Fuck!

1092
00:53:08,953 --> 00:53:10,296
Maria!

1093
00:53:10,588 --> 00:53:12,590
Come here!

1094
00:53:26,070 --> 00:53:27,913
You know, what?
Screw those idiots.

1095
00:53:28,172 --> 00:53:30,243
We're way better
than their Shitty party.

1096
00:53:30,507 --> 00:53:31,850
Better than
dead hooker surprise?

1097
00:53:32,142 --> 00:53:33,815
Uh, yeah.
They're has-beens.

1098
00:53:34,111 --> 00:53:35,351
Yeah, aren't they like 30?

1099
00:53:35,646 --> 00:53:37,091
Has-beens, huh?

1100
00:53:37,348 --> 00:53:39,350
Yeah, look, we ladies
are the hot new things.

1101
00:53:39,650 --> 00:53:41,687
And we don't play
any lame poser parties.

1102
00:53:41,986 --> 00:53:44,193
And that party represents
everything that we hate.

1103
00:53:44,488 --> 00:53:47,958
Yeah, like I wanna see Shaq
kissing Brett's ass all night?

1104
00:53:48,258 --> 00:53:51,262
Wait. We're still going
to the party, right?

1105
00:53:51,528 --> 00:53:53,633
Chelsea's not going
to any parties.

1106
00:53:53,931 --> 00:53:55,274
What?
Did you not think

1107
00:53:55,532 --> 00:53:57,705
I'd hear about your
run-in with the law'?

1108
00:53:58,002 --> 00:53:59,811
It was not
a big deal. Really.

1109
00:54:00,104 --> 00:54:04,712
Trying to buy beer in the middle
of the day, with a stolen ID?

1110
00:54:05,009 --> 00:54:06,852
Sounds like a substance
abuse problem to me.

1111
00:54:07,144 --> 00:54:08,487
A substance abuse problem?

1112
00:54:08,779 --> 00:54:09,814
Seriously?

1113
00:54:10,114 --> 00:54:11,525
It was just beer.

1114
00:54:11,815 --> 00:54:13,556
It was a whole keg.

1115
00:54:13,851 --> 00:54:17,526
Some of us can handle
a couple of drinks.

1116
00:54:17,821 --> 00:54:19,198
You know, what?

1117
00:54:19,490 --> 00:54:21,170
I'm not having this
conversations with you.

1118
00:54:21,225 --> 00:54:22,533
- You're grounded.
- What?

1119
00:54:22,826 --> 00:54:24,464
No, you can't do that.

1120
00:54:24,728 --> 00:54:25,798
Dad left me in charge.

1121
00:54:26,063 --> 00:54:27,303
Since when does dad give a shit

1122
00:54:27,364 --> 00:54:28,364
about what any of us do?

1123
00:54:28,632 --> 00:54:29,975
You want me to call him?

1124
00:54:30,234 --> 00:54:32,180
'Cause I can.

1125
00:54:32,469 --> 00:54:34,415
Or you can cell him.

1126
00:54:34,705 --> 00:54:35,945
You want to'?
I'm sure he'd love

1127
00:54:36,173 --> 00:54:37,653
to have this business
trip interrupted

1128
00:54:37,908 --> 00:54:40,479
and hear all about
your crime spree.

1129
00:54:40,744 --> 00:54:42,382
Want to?

1130
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:44,921
No'?

1131
00:54:45,215 --> 00:54:46,660
Didn't think so.

1132
00:54:55,325 --> 00:54:56,395
So does this mean

1133
00:54:56,694 --> 00:54:58,435
we're not going
to the party tonight?

1134
00:54:58,729 --> 00:55:00,572
Oh, no. We're going
to the party.

1135
00:55:00,864 --> 00:55:03,743
Come on, Bridget.
Let's get some cute costumes.

1136
00:55:20,350 --> 00:55:22,057
We are so getting laid tonight.

1137
00:55:22,352 --> 00:55:24,059
Hey, this is a college party.

1138
00:55:24,354 --> 00:55:26,300
We gotta show some maturity.

1139
00:55:26,590 --> 00:55:27,864
I love your band, it rocks!

1140
00:55:28,125 --> 00:55:29,433
Oh, yeah. Yeah!

1141
00:55:29,727 --> 00:55:31,798
My dick is so heavy right now.

1142
00:55:58,956 --> 00:56:00,833
Look at this!

1143
00:56:01,125 --> 00:56:02,763
Oh!

1144
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:16,582
Hello.

1145
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,343
- How are you doing?
- Yes, okay.

1146
00:56:26,850 --> 00:56:27,850
Are you okay?

1147
00:56:28,085 --> 00:56:29,530
No! I suck
at everything.

1148
00:56:29,820 --> 00:56:32,596
You were like "miss
everything" in high school.

1149
00:56:32,856 --> 00:56:34,096
I know, right?

1150
00:56:34,358 --> 00:56:36,269
I was like a celebrity
in high school.

1151
00:56:36,527 --> 00:56:38,529
In college it's like
I don't even matter.

1152
00:56:38,829 --> 00:56:41,139
It's like people treat me
like I'm a regular person.

1153
00:56:41,431 --> 00:56:43,934
You were-are like,
the hottest girl

1154
00:56:44,201 --> 00:56:45,703
that ever went to our school.

1155
00:56:46,003 --> 00:56:48,609
I masturbate to your
yearbook picture every day.

1156
00:56:48,872 --> 00:56:50,146
Really?

1157
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:53,114
In fact, every guy I know
wanted to tap that ass.

1158
00:56:53,377 --> 00:56:55,186
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

1159
00:56:55,479 --> 00:56:59,188
That is the sweetest thing
I've ever heard.

1160
00:56:59,483 --> 00:57:00,689
Do I look fat?

1161
00:57:00,984 --> 00:57:02,554
What?

1162
00:57:02,853 --> 00:57:04,973
My mom says everyone gains
weight their freshman year.

1163
00:57:05,022 --> 00:57:07,969
That's crazy.
You look awesome.

1164
00:57:08,225 --> 00:57:11,729
Why do all the guys
say I'm crazy?

1165
00:57:17,901 --> 00:57:20,245
Hey! Huh?
The party's looking wicked!

1166
00:57:20,537 --> 00:57:23,677
- Did you feel my abs there'?
- Yeah...

1167
00:57:23,974 --> 00:57:25,419
Uh, you ladies need some drinks?

1168
00:57:25,709 --> 00:57:27,309
- Yes, please.
- Okay.

1169
00:57:27,377 --> 00:57:28,981
Oh, no.
They'll get 'em.

1170
00:57:29,246 --> 00:57:31,286
- Oh, yeah...
- So you're impressing me, little man.

1171
00:57:31,315 --> 00:57:33,226
- Growing up...
- Hey, thanks, thanks.

1172
00:57:33,517 --> 00:57:36,196
Uh, hey, are you gonna put in a good
word for me with gates now for...

1173
00:57:36,220 --> 00:57:37,824
Oh, yeah, sure.

1174
00:57:38,088 --> 00:57:40,233
You know, what? The alum judge
should be here any minute.

1175
00:57:40,257 --> 00:57:42,168
Okay, so what do I say?
Do I have a speech prepared?

1176
00:57:42,192 --> 00:57:43,192
'Cause I mean,
I have one-

1177
00:57:43,260 --> 00:57:44,568
chest bump!

1178
00:57:50,767 --> 00:57:52,007
So are you like a brew?

1179
00:57:52,269 --> 00:57:54,180
Um, well, yeah, kinda...

1180
00:57:54,438 --> 00:57:55,883
His names Shaquille.

1181
00:57:56,173 --> 00:57:57,413
OMG!

1182
00:57:57,708 --> 00:58:00,587
Are you like, related
to Shaquille O'Neal?

1183
00:58:00,878 --> 00:58:03,119
Uh, yeah...

1184
00:58:03,413 --> 00:58:06,917
I'm not wearing any panties.

1185
00:58:08,552 --> 00:58:10,395
Look at my little friend here.

1186
00:58:10,687 --> 00:58:12,462
Coming over
to the hetero side I see.

1187
00:58:12,756 --> 00:58:15,066
So is this your party?

1188
00:58:15,359 --> 00:58:16,394
It's ah...
It's my party.

1189
00:58:16,693 --> 00:58:18,093
I party party.
I fight for my right.

1190
00:58:18,295 --> 00:58:19,399
So um...

1191
00:58:19,696 --> 00:58:21,336
How come I haven't
seen you around campus?

1192
00:58:21,431 --> 00:58:22,637
It's kinda complicated.

1193
00:58:22,933 --> 00:58:25,277
He's still in high school.

1194
00:58:25,569 --> 00:58:27,913
Well, if you're throwing parties
like this already,

1195
00:58:28,205 --> 00:58:31,243
you are going to be
a maniac in college.

1196
00:59:02,239 --> 00:59:04,310
So are you gonna
show me around, or what?

1197
00:59:04,608 --> 00:59:07,020
- Um, yeah, sure.
- Okay.

1198
00:59:07,311 --> 00:59:08,955
Hey, I hate to break up
this touching moment,

1199
00:59:08,979 --> 00:59:10,356
but where do we set up'?

1200
00:59:10,647 --> 00:59:11,955
Dane, Dane.

1201
00:59:12,249 --> 00:59:13,819
Out by the pool, man.
Out in the back.

1202
00:59:14,117 --> 00:59:16,961
- Outside'?
- Yeah. That's awesome.

1203
00:59:17,254 --> 00:59:18,631
- Awesome.
- Great Dane.

1204
00:59:18,922 --> 00:59:21,801
Come on.

1205
00:59:22,092 --> 00:59:23,969
I'll hang out with you,
just give me one sec.

1206
00:59:24,261 --> 00:59:25,604
I promise, I'll be right there.

1207
00:59:25,862 --> 00:59:26,862
You...

1208
00:59:27,130 --> 00:59:28,473
Hey, sideshow.

1209
00:59:28,765 --> 00:59:30,711
- Yep.
- Come here.

1210
00:59:31,001 --> 00:59:32,139
Hey. Um.

1211
00:59:32,436 --> 00:59:34,013
Could you help the band
set up in the back?

1212
00:59:34,037 --> 00:59:35,778
- Yeah.
- Also...

1213
00:59:36,039 --> 00:59:38,383
Keep the lead singer away
from drugs and alcohol.

1214
00:59:38,675 --> 00:59:39,983
No drugs?

1215
00:59:40,277 --> 00:59:41,277
No alcohol.

1216
00:59:41,511 --> 00:59:44,458
Seriously.
- Gotcha.

1217
00:59:44,715 --> 00:59:46,319
So what's up, man'?

1218
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:51,463
- Hey!
- Hey.

1219
00:59:51,722 --> 00:59:53,800
What? Mommy and daddy
are outta town for the weekend?

1220
00:59:53,824 --> 00:59:56,264
- That's good.
- What do you mean exposed himself to the maid?

1221
00:59:56,326 --> 00:59:58,206
Okay, here's the thing.
This is shit, all right?

1222
00:59:58,362 --> 01:00:00,865
I'm just saying, it's way
beneath my number one act.

1223
01:00:01,164 --> 01:00:02,644
It's a house party.
What'd you expect?

1224
01:00:02,866 --> 01:00:04,812
Was he hard or was he flaccid?

1225
01:00:05,068 --> 01:00:06,342
Yes it makes a big difference.

1226
01:00:06,636 --> 01:00:09,139
Hard shows intent.
Flaccid is clearly an accident.

1227
01:00:09,406 --> 01:00:10,578
All right.
Here's the scoop.

1228
01:00:10,874 --> 01:00:12,485
Um, the lead singer,
just got out of rehab,

1229
01:00:12,509 --> 01:00:14,318
he's got a little bit
of a alcohol problem.

1230
01:00:14,578 --> 01:00:16,387
So no booze.
Uh, you following me?

1231
01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:18,717
Yeah, no alcohol.
Got it.

1232
01:00:19,016 --> 01:00:21,997
Isn't that what
"do not disturb" means?

1233
01:00:22,252 --> 01:00:24,198
And drugs.
A bit of a problem too.

1234
01:00:24,488 --> 01:00:25,728
Powders, pills,

1235
01:00:26,023 --> 01:00:27,700
anything he can get
his hands on, he'll do it.

1236
01:00:27,724 --> 01:00:29,204
So keep the medicine
cabinets cleared.

1237
01:00:29,259 --> 01:00:30,299
Okay, no-
no drugs. Got it.

1238
01:00:30,527 --> 01:00:32,200
Oh, and girls.

1239
01:00:32,496 --> 01:00:33,816
Bit of a sexual addiction
as well.

1240
01:00:34,064 --> 01:00:35,236
No sex, drugs or alcohol?

1241
01:00:35,532 --> 01:00:36,652
And don't mention it to him,

1242
01:00:36,833 --> 01:00:38,244
he's a bit sensitive
about it also.

1243
01:00:38,535 --> 01:00:39,946
Mum's the word.
Cool?

1244
01:00:40,237 --> 01:00:41,981
- Mum's cool.
- Okay, I gotta get out-fa here.

1245
01:00:42,005 --> 01:00:43,816
I got the banana shits
opening for huffing paint

1246
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:45,114
tonight at the wagon wheel.

1247
01:00:45,409 --> 01:00:47,387
And those fuckers are always
trying to skim the door.

1248
01:00:47,411 --> 01:00:49,220
What'? Can they prove
it was semen?

1249
01:00:49,513 --> 01:00:51,186
Yes, semen is Latin for sperm.

1250
01:00:51,448 --> 01:00:53,928
That's a fact!

1251
01:00:54,217 --> 01:00:58,222
Oh, hey. Thank you so much
for showing up.

1252
01:00:58,522 --> 01:00:59,626
Where do we set up, huh?

1253
01:00:59,923 --> 01:01:00,923
Uh...

1254
01:01:03,093 --> 01:01:04,470
Right there.

1255
01:01:04,761 --> 01:01:08,265
Yep. Oh, shit.
Look who it is.

1256
01:01:08,565 --> 01:01:11,205
Boys, it's the party master
himself, huh'?

1257
01:01:11,468 --> 01:01:12,640
Mm-hmm.

1258
01:01:12,936 --> 01:01:14,576
Hey, you're really starting
to impress us.

1259
01:01:14,604 --> 01:01:17,551
True that. I haven't wanted
to punch you all night

1260
01:01:17,808 --> 01:01:19,048
why would you wanna punch me?

1261
01:01:19,309 --> 01:01:20,310
I don't know.

1262
01:01:20,610 --> 01:01:21,610
Something about you face,

1263
01:01:21,812 --> 01:01:23,257
I just wanna fucking punch it.

1264
01:01:23,547 --> 01:01:25,151
Now no need to dwell
on the past.

1265
01:01:25,449 --> 01:01:26,449
The important thing is

1266
01:01:26,650 --> 01:01:28,010
he doesn't wanna
punch you anymore.

1267
01:01:28,085 --> 01:01:29,362
Now, hold on,
hold on, hold on...

1268
01:01:29,386 --> 01:01:30,990
At this moment
I don't wanna punch ya.

1269
01:01:31,288 --> 01:01:32,598
Who knows what
the future may hold.

1270
01:01:32,622 --> 01:01:34,222
See'? Now that's
what I'm talking about.

1271
01:01:34,424 --> 01:01:36,665
Progress, huh? You're
starting to become one of us.

1272
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:38,360
Bretts, I really...
I appreciate it.

1273
01:01:38,628 --> 01:01:41,006
- We like you. In a hetero way.
- Kinda...

1274
01:01:41,298 --> 01:01:43,005
I'm almost starting
to feel bad here,

1275
01:01:43,300 --> 01:01:45,302
I always kinda pegged you
as a "gay."

1276
01:01:45,602 --> 01:01:46,842
You're not the only one.

1277
01:01:47,137 --> 01:01:49,981
Oh... I'm not...
I'm not gay.

1278
01:01:50,273 --> 01:01:51,513
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

1279
01:01:51,808 --> 01:01:53,515
<i>♪</i> we get the bitches
to drop those... <i>♪</i>

1280
01:01:53,810 --> 01:01:56,017
♪ britches. <i>♪</i>

1281
01:01:57,614 --> 01:01:58,820
Yeah.

1282
01:01:59,116 --> 01:02:00,322
That's how we do.

1283
01:02:00,617 --> 01:02:02,858
It's Van Horn.
Trying to get some play.

1284
01:02:03,153 --> 01:02:04,433
Holy shit,
what's he doing there?

1285
01:02:04,654 --> 01:02:07,100
Is that the pikachu dance or...

1286
01:02:07,357 --> 01:02:09,132
I thought you guys
liked Van Horn?

1287
01:02:09,426 --> 01:02:10,996
He's a freak.

1288
01:02:11,294 --> 01:02:13,365
But he's a funny little
shit though, watch this.

1289
01:02:13,663 --> 01:02:18,112
Hey, Van Horn! Get your
little ass over here, buddy.

1290
01:02:18,368 --> 01:02:21,474
Come on, come on, come on...

1291
01:02:21,771 --> 01:02:23,216
Woo!

1292
01:02:23,507 --> 01:02:25,518
You know, we were just
admiring your moves from afar.

1293
01:02:25,542 --> 01:02:26,714
- God. Yeah.
- Really?

1294
01:02:27,010 --> 01:02:29,354
Yeah. Why don't you
show us what you got?

1295
01:02:29,646 --> 01:02:30,646
- Huh'?
- Okay.

1296
01:02:30,881 --> 01:02:32,986
Go Van Horn, go Van Horn, go!

1297
01:02:33,283 --> 01:02:35,320
Go Van Horn, go Van Horn, go!

1298
01:02:40,390 --> 01:02:41,892
What the fuck
is wrong with you guys?

1299
01:02:42,192 --> 01:02:43,500
Oh, shut up carpet muncher.

1300
01:02:43,793 --> 01:02:44,897
Go back to your coven.

1301
01:02:45,195 --> 01:02:47,300
Fuck you, douche toaster.

1302
01:02:47,564 --> 01:02:49,009
Whatever, come on, boys.

1303
01:02:55,805 --> 01:02:57,375
Uh...
Chelsea!

1304
01:03:00,977 --> 01:03:02,820
Dude, what happened?

1305
01:03:03,079 --> 01:03:04,717
You don't wanna know.

1306
01:03:05,015 --> 01:03:09,430
Well, there's a little
issue with the band.

1307
01:03:09,719 --> 01:03:12,859
The spice was flow,
the spice was flow.

1308
01:03:16,493 --> 01:03:17,563
What is this?

1309
01:03:17,861 --> 01:03:19,341
Nothing, we just
smoked a little weed.

1310
01:03:19,396 --> 01:03:21,076
What part of no drugs
don't you understand?

1311
01:03:21,231 --> 01:03:22,710
It's weed, it's not a drug.

1312
01:03:22,999 --> 01:03:24,376
- This...
- The spice was flow...

1313
01:03:24,668 --> 01:03:26,341
This is more than just weed.

1314
01:03:26,603 --> 01:03:28,748
- The spice was flow...
- Rover said it was pretty strong.

1315
01:03:28,772 --> 01:03:29,512
Did he go to the bathroom?

1316
01:03:29,773 --> 01:03:30,911
- Yeah.
- Alone?

1317
01:03:31,208 --> 01:03:32,808
Well, I wasn't gonna
watch the dude piss.

1318
01:03:33,043 --> 01:03:34,987
Ah, that's great because
now he's not gonna be able

1319
01:03:35,011 --> 01:03:36,183
to perform tonight.

1320
01:03:36,446 --> 01:03:37,990
Dude, just let him calm down
a little bit.

1321
01:03:38,014 --> 01:03:39,550
He'll be fine.

1322
01:03:39,849 --> 01:03:41,394
- You really screwed me on this.
- What did I do?

1323
01:03:41,418 --> 01:03:42,695
This! You had to get
him high, didn't you?

1324
01:03:42,719 --> 01:03:44,198
He used his rock star
charm on me.

1325
01:03:44,454 --> 01:03:45,956
I couldn't say no to the guy.

1326
01:03:46,256 --> 01:03:49,032
In fact, now I understand how
all those women get tricked.

1327
01:03:49,292 --> 01:03:50,600
Well, that's fantastic.

1328
01:03:50,894 --> 01:03:52,905
That's really fantastic.
Because now we have no band.

1329
01:03:52,929 --> 01:03:55,374
Brei I 's gonna freak. Probably
not gonna introduce me to gates.

1330
01:03:55,398 --> 01:03:58,208
What so if you don't get into some
prissy college, it's my fault?

1331
01:03:58,468 --> 01:04:00,746
You know, fuck Brei I and all
his clone ass friends anyway.

1332
01:04:00,770 --> 01:04:02,170
No no no no no.
Bretts going places.

1333
01:04:02,272 --> 01:04:03,952
He's got his eyes
on the future, all right?

1334
01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:05,041
He's gonna be successful.

1335
01:04:05,308 --> 01:04:06,586
What do you have
your eyes on, huh?

1336
01:04:06,610 --> 01:04:07,930
What? Your next
big bong purchase?

1337
01:04:08,211 --> 01:04:10,056
What about us going
into business together, huh?

1338
01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:11,400
That's looking
towards the future.

1339
01:04:11,581 --> 01:04:13,254
What future? What business?
All right?

1340
01:04:13,550 --> 01:04:15,695
You just have a bunch of
stupid ideas you cram together

1341
01:04:15,719 --> 01:04:17,494
and you can't commit to one.

1342
01:04:17,787 --> 01:04:20,066
- That's not exactly a plan.
- But it's just a matter of time.

1343
01:04:20,090 --> 01:04:22,290
Maybe if you put a little more
energy into some of this.

1344
01:04:22,392 --> 01:04:24,392
Instead of kissing ass to all
these douche nozzles.

1345
01:04:24,628 --> 01:04:26,471
Then we could've come up
with something by now.

1346
01:04:26,763 --> 01:04:29,403
I see what this is. You're just jealous.
You're jealous, all right?

1347
01:04:29,566 --> 01:04:31,671
'Cause you don't want me
to succeed with those people

1348
01:04:31,968 --> 01:04:33,488
because you don't
wanna wake up one day

1349
01:04:33,770 --> 01:04:35,078
and just find out
you're a loser.

1350
01:04:35,338 --> 01:04:37,218
You know, what? Good luck
with your new friends.

1351
01:04:37,307 --> 01:04:39,082
- 'Cause I'm done helping you.
- That's fine!

1352
01:04:39,342 --> 01:04:40,622
'Cause you help
is just an anchor

1353
01:04:40,810 --> 01:04:42,585
dragging me down
to retard central.

1354
01:04:44,014 --> 01:04:45,425
Hey, where the fuck is the band?

1355
01:04:45,682 --> 01:04:47,320
Uh, you know musicians...

1356
01:04:47,617 --> 01:04:48,618
Never on time.

1357
01:04:48,918 --> 01:04:50,329
I'm on it.

1358
01:04:54,457 --> 01:04:55,834
Okay, so there's this chick

1359
01:04:56,126 --> 01:04:57,696
in this like
little angel outfit,

1360
01:04:57,994 --> 01:04:59,302
and she's totally hot.

1361
01:04:59,596 --> 01:05:01,337
Yeah, no. I totally saw her.
She is hot.

1362
01:05:11,007 --> 01:05:12,816
What do I do'?

1363
01:05:13,109 --> 01:05:15,055
I don't know, just talk to her.

1364
01:05:15,345 --> 01:05:16,983
"Just talk to her."
Like I can't...

1365
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:18,486
I can't just talk to her.

1366
01:05:18,782 --> 01:05:20,359
I mean, why would you
even wanna talk to me?

1367
01:05:20,383 --> 01:05:21,521
You shouldn't even know me.

1368
01:05:21,818 --> 01:05:25,891
Well, because you're hot.
And you're cool.

1369
01:05:26,189 --> 01:05:29,136
Yeah, I would like you
Bridget if I was... her.

1370
01:05:29,392 --> 01:05:30,962
Yeah, hey, girls.
How's it going?

1371
01:05:31,227 --> 01:05:33,070
Hey, Judas.

1372
01:05:33,363 --> 01:05:36,207
Oh, if you're wondering if we'd seen
your soul lying around somewhere.

1373
01:05:36,499 --> 01:05:39,241
The answer ls nope.

1374
01:05:39,536 --> 01:05:42,039
Wow. Okay. I don't know where
that's coming from but okay.

1375
01:05:42,339 --> 01:05:44,478
Fuck, really?
Like really? Seriously?

1376
01:05:44,741 --> 01:05:48,052
I mean, like you lost your brain
and your soul all in the same day.

1377
01:05:48,345 --> 01:05:50,825
It's rather unfortunate, brah.

1378
01:05:51,081 --> 01:05:54,255
Okay, Bridget. I will be
taking this from you.

1379
01:05:56,353 --> 01:05:58,333
Chels, um...

1380
01:05:58,588 --> 01:05:59,760
I...

1381
01:06:00,056 --> 01:06:01,057
you want me to...

1382
01:06:01,358 --> 01:06:04,737
Play music tonight.

1383
01:06:05,028 --> 01:06:07,167
My band?

1384
01:06:07,430 --> 01:06:08,670
That I offered to you?

1385
01:06:08,932 --> 01:06:10,052
Aw, Chels, fuck the details.

1386
01:06:10,333 --> 01:06:11,413
This is our chance to play.

1387
01:06:11,701 --> 01:06:14,773
For actual people.

1388
01:06:15,071 --> 01:06:16,675
For them.

1389
01:06:16,940 --> 01:06:18,112
I'll do this for them.

1390
01:06:18,408 --> 01:06:20,183
Not for you.

1391
01:06:20,443 --> 01:06:24,858
We're gonna play music!
For actual people!

1392
01:06:25,115 --> 01:06:27,755
Wait... we're gonna play
music for actual people?

1393
01:06:43,299 --> 01:06:44,299
Are you nervous?

1394
01:06:44,434 --> 01:06:46,311
No.

1395
01:06:46,603 --> 01:06:48,776
Yeah. I'm terrified.
Aren't you?

1396
01:06:49,072 --> 01:06:50,278
Text me back, stupid.

1397
01:06:50,573 --> 01:06:52,280
Easy there, Tara Reid.

1398
01:06:52,575 --> 01:06:54,577
Well, he texted me,
and then I texted him back.

1399
01:06:54,878 --> 01:06:57,423
- And now he's like completely not
even responding" - okay, Alexa.

1400
01:06:57,447 --> 01:06:58,847
You need to stop
freaking out, okay?

1401
01:06:58,882 --> 01:07:00,059
We're about to play some music.

1402
01:07:00,083 --> 01:07:01,391
What if we suck?

1403
01:07:01,651 --> 01:07:03,529
We're not going to.
We've been telling everybody

1404
01:07:03,553 --> 01:07:05,264
how we're not just
an air band for like ever.

1405
01:07:05,288 --> 01:07:07,097
Don't you wanna
prove them wrong?

1406
01:07:07,390 --> 01:07:10,837
- Yeah, let's go out there and kick some ass.
- Good attitude.

1407
01:07:11,127 --> 01:07:13,004
Hayden?

1408
01:07:13,296 --> 01:07:14,798
Cheater!

1409
01:07:15,098 --> 01:07:18,477
Oh, okay. In all fairness. You
two weren't dating for real.

1410
01:07:18,768 --> 01:07:19,803
Mean!

1411
01:07:20,970 --> 01:07:23,678
It's your problem.

1412
01:07:23,973 --> 01:07:25,316
Hey, where're they going?

1413
01:07:25,608 --> 01:07:26,608
What do you want?

1414
01:07:26,676 --> 01:07:27,950
I just wanna say thank you.

1415
01:07:28,244 --> 01:07:29,244
Thank you.

1416
01:07:29,446 --> 01:07:31,289
Seriously, no ulterior motives.

1417
01:07:31,581 --> 01:07:32,992
- I just...
- You're kidding me.

1418
01:07:33,283 --> 01:07:37,095
- I'm serious, Chelsea.
- No fucking way.

1419
01:07:37,353 --> 01:07:40,459
It's Rebecca.

1420
01:07:40,757 --> 01:07:43,363
Rebecca's here. And she's drinking...
Whiskey.

1421
01:07:43,660 --> 01:07:44,934
Oh, whoa whoa whoa, no no no.

1422
01:07:45,195 --> 01:07:46,939
We're having a good night.
It's a party night.

1423
01:07:46,963 --> 01:07:48,203
You don't know whiskey Rebecca.

1424
01:07:48,298 --> 01:07:50,278
She's evil.

1425
01:08:01,845 --> 01:08:04,724
Hold on.

1426
01:08:05,014 --> 01:08:07,494
Restroomo El Occupado.

1427
01:08:16,993 --> 01:08:19,064
Wait a second, I know you.

1428
01:08:23,032 --> 01:08:27,674
You're Chelsea's sexy
older sister, aren't you?

1429
01:08:27,971 --> 01:08:30,144
You're not one
of her lame friends, right?

1430
01:08:30,406 --> 01:08:32,147
Who me?
Fuck no!

1431
01:08:32,408 --> 01:08:34,251
I'm not one of those freaks.

1432
01:08:34,544 --> 01:08:37,718
I'm a motherfucking Brett.

1433
01:08:38,014 --> 01:08:39,493
Good.

1434
01:08:41,251 --> 01:08:42,594
So are you drunk?

1435
01:08:42,886 --> 01:08:43,887
I'm not drunk.

1436
01:08:44,187 --> 01:08:45,564
That's too bad.

1437
01:08:45,855 --> 01:08:47,232
I'm a fan of the drunk girl.

1438
01:08:49,058 --> 01:08:50,935
I used to be a drunk girl.

1439
01:08:51,227 --> 01:08:52,227
You'll be my drunk girl?

1440
01:08:52,495 --> 01:08:54,441
- Yeah, <i>I</i> like to drink.
- Mm-hmm.

1441
01:08:54,731 --> 01:08:55,835
Yeah, you wanna party?

1442
01:08:56,099 --> 01:08:57,243
Yep, you wanna party with me?

1443
01:08:57,267 --> 01:08:58,541
- Yeah'?
- Yeah.

1444
01:08:58,835 --> 01:08:59,939
Party with me right now.

1445
01:09:00,236 --> 01:09:01,476
- Let's party right now.
- Now.

1446
01:09:01,504 --> 01:09:02,608
Now.
Yeah, let's party now.

1447
01:09:02,906 --> 01:09:04,383
- You wanna do it, now?
- Let's do it now.

1448
01:09:04,407 --> 01:09:05,545
- Let's do it.
- Let's party.

1449
01:09:05,842 --> 01:09:07,152
- I'm gonna do it now.
- Let's do it now.

1450
01:09:07,176 --> 01:09:07,881
- Let's do it.
- Let's party.

1451
01:09:08,177 --> 01:09:09,520
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.

1452
01:09:09,779 --> 01:09:13,750
Well, light this motherfucker
up then, biatch!

1453
01:09:14,851 --> 01:09:16,023
- Hey, Shaq.
- Hey...

1454
01:09:16,286 --> 01:09:18,232
Where's the band'?
Better not fuck this up.

1455
01:09:18,521 --> 01:09:19,721
Gates will be here any minute.

1456
01:09:19,756 --> 01:09:21,463
Oh. Don't
even sweat it, Brei l.

1457
01:09:21,758 --> 01:09:25,467
- I got it, playa!
- Yeah, you better.

1458
01:09:25,762 --> 01:09:28,402
Um, I've got it
all under control.

1459
01:09:38,474 --> 01:09:40,613
No offense, but this shit
tastes like ass.

1460
01:09:40,910 --> 01:09:43,481
Yeah, that's the only
thing I hate about dust.

1461
01:09:43,780 --> 01:09:46,556
It tastes like ass.

1462
01:09:46,816 --> 01:09:48,818
Dust, like, angel dust?

1463
01:09:49,118 --> 01:09:52,292
Yeah, you know, like
peace pill, love boat,

1464
01:09:52,589 --> 01:09:55,627
crystal flakes, embalming
fluid, rocket fuel,

1465
01:09:55,925 --> 01:09:58,235
whatever you wanna call it, man.

1466
01:09:58,494 --> 01:10:00,167
That's all wrapped up
in that joint.

1467
01:10:00,463 --> 01:10:01,999
It better,

1468
01:10:02,298 --> 01:10:04,676
or I'm gonna kick that drummer
that sold it to me's ass.

1469
01:10:04,968 --> 01:10:06,811
What the fuck
is wrong with you, huh?

1470
01:10:07,103 --> 01:10:08,914
What kind of person
doesn't tell another person

1471
01:10:08,938 --> 01:10:10,315
they're smoking angel dust.

1472
01:10:10,607 --> 01:10:13,087
Dude, you're kinda being
a dick right now.

1473
01:10:13,343 --> 01:10:15,482
I can't feel my lips.

1474
01:10:15,778 --> 01:10:18,088
Hey, don't we have
chem. Class together?

1475
01:10:18,348 --> 01:10:20,658
Hi.
Mister oh...

1476
01:10:20,950 --> 01:10:24,090
Me likey,
miss slutty German barmaid.

1477
01:10:24,354 --> 01:10:26,527
Hey, hands off, encino man.

1478
01:10:26,823 --> 01:10:28,223
Don't you have
something to protest?

1479
01:10:28,358 --> 01:10:29,398
Oh, are you off the roids.

1480
01:10:29,592 --> 01:10:31,435
You're looking kinda petite.

1481
01:10:33,830 --> 01:10:36,868
I'm gonna fucking die.

1482
01:10:37,166 --> 01:10:38,338
I'm gonna die.

1483
01:10:38,635 --> 01:10:41,172
My mama will freak out
and I'm gonna die.

1484
01:10:41,471 --> 01:10:43,749
<i>I seen what
this shit does to people on TV.</i>

1485
01:10:43,773 --> 01:10:45,309
Okay? First you all
run around naked.

1486
01:10:45,608 --> 01:10:47,953
Run around naked chasing cops,
fighting cops, beating cops up,

1487
01:10:47,977 --> 01:10:50,137
trying to fly, jumping off
of buildings, trying to fly.

1488
01:10:50,179 --> 01:10:52,992
Jumping off buildings, I'm gonna wake
up in a zoo, naked covered in blood.

1489
01:10:53,016 --> 01:10:55,519
I can't feel my lips.

1490
01:10:55,818 --> 01:10:58,628
I can't feel my lips. I can't
feel my face. My head.

1491
01:10:58,888 --> 01:10:59,992
Mellow out!

1492
01:11:00,289 --> 01:11:01,734
- My hearts...
- Meow!

1493
01:11:02,025 --> 01:11:03,231
My heart's beating so fast.

1494
01:11:03,526 --> 01:11:06,029
You're gonna die!

1495
01:11:07,964 --> 01:11:08,669
What? Wow.

1496
01:11:10,500 --> 01:11:11,877
What the fuck is this shit?

1497
01:11:17,907 --> 01:11:19,682
Chelsea!

1498
01:11:19,976 --> 01:11:22,650
Hey, sista!

1499
01:11:22,912 --> 01:11:25,654
- What'?
- I got a costume.

1500
01:11:25,915 --> 01:11:27,656
It's a cat.

1501
01:11:27,917 --> 01:11:29,225
Do you want a drink?

1502
01:11:29,519 --> 01:11:32,864
Whiskey'?
Seriously?

1503
01:11:33,156 --> 01:11:35,158
Mmm.

1504
01:11:35,425 --> 01:11:37,496
- You took my ID.
- You're drunk.

1505
01:11:37,760 --> 01:11:39,398
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.

1506
01:11:39,696 --> 01:11:41,334
I know why you're saying that.

1507
01:11:41,597 --> 01:11:44,043
- It's because you can kinda hear me slurring.
- Yeah.

1508
01:11:44,333 --> 01:11:45,733
I can kind hear it
a little bit too.

1509
01:11:45,835 --> 01:11:48,111
But I'm not drunk.

1510
01:11:48,404 --> 01:11:49,524
If you embarrass me tonight,

1511
01:11:49,605 --> 01:11:51,607
I swear...

1512
01:11:53,743 --> 01:11:56,121
Shaquille!

1513
01:11:56,412 --> 01:11:57,914
Whiskey Rebecca.

1514
01:11:58,214 --> 01:12:01,525
Whiskey Rebecca, Shaquille.

1515
01:12:01,784 --> 01:12:03,263
I gotta go, kid. Bye.

1516
01:12:03,553 --> 01:12:05,123
Rebecca!

1517
01:12:05,421 --> 01:12:06,899
- Damn it.
- Hey, don't worry about it.

1518
01:12:06,923 --> 01:12:08,095
Look, I'll look after her,

1519
01:12:08,391 --> 01:12:10,530
you just really need
to help with the band.

1520
01:12:14,363 --> 01:12:17,901
Um...

1521
01:12:18,201 --> 01:12:20,147
I'm gonna go do that.

1522
01:12:20,436 --> 01:12:21,813
Yeah, I gotta...

1523
01:12:22,105 --> 01:12:26,611
Do... the band stuff

1524
01:12:26,909 --> 01:12:28,320
- I'll see you later, okay?
- Yeah.

1525
01:12:29,378 --> 01:12:32,291
Sit, sit.

1526
01:12:32,582 --> 01:12:34,152
Okay, are you okay'?

1527
01:12:34,450 --> 01:12:35,622
Yeah...

1528
01:12:35,918 --> 01:12:38,330
Okay, I'm gonna go pee
so you stay right here.

1529
01:12:38,621 --> 01:12:39,929
- Okay?
- ' Kay.

1530
01:12:40,223 --> 01:12:42,225
Okay, don't move.

1531
01:12:52,068 --> 01:12:53,911
- Excuse me, miss.
- Yeah?

1532
01:12:54,170 --> 01:12:57,242
Do you know where I might find
Mr. Shaquille Horowitz?

1533
01:12:57,507 --> 01:12:58,507
No...

1534
01:12:58,641 --> 01:13:00,279
But do you wanna make out?

1535
01:13:02,145 --> 01:13:03,988
Maybe later. But thank
you for your time.

1536
01:13:04,280 --> 01:13:04,985
Mm-hmm.

1537
01:13:06,816 --> 01:13:08,523
Hey, there.

1538
01:13:08,818 --> 01:13:11,662
Why so sad, huh?

1539
01:13:11,954 --> 01:13:14,161
I cannot believe
he cheated on me.

1540
01:13:14,457 --> 01:13:15,936
Ooh, wow.

1541
01:13:16,192 --> 01:13:18,103
Really?

1542
01:13:18,361 --> 01:13:20,973
You're way too mature for some high
school jackass bringing you down.

1543
01:13:20,997 --> 01:13:25,036
I know! I started babysitting
when I was like 12.

1544
01:13:25,334 --> 01:13:26,813
Wow. Really?
Here, take this.

1545
01:13:27,103 --> 01:13:28,423
This'll make you
feel better, huh?

1546
01:13:28,671 --> 01:13:29,671
Okay.

1547
01:13:29,806 --> 01:13:31,285
Yeah, cheers.

1548
01:13:35,812 --> 01:13:38,019
Yeah, you know...

1549
01:13:39,482 --> 01:13:40,482
You're, um...

1550
01:13:40,716 --> 01:13:41,716
You're all woman.

1551
01:13:56,165 --> 01:13:58,873
So sophisticated.

1552
01:13:59,168 --> 01:14:02,479
God, you got yourself some ample
tits there, don't you, huh?

1553
01:14:04,974 --> 01:14:07,386
You think
I'm sophisticated?

1554
01:14:07,677 --> 01:14:08,883
Yeah, oh, totally.

1555
01:14:09,178 --> 01:14:11,419
You know, you're so hot like...

1556
01:14:11,714 --> 01:14:12,419
Like stripper hot.

1557
01:14:14,016 --> 01:14:15,427
Yeah.

1558
01:14:21,991 --> 01:14:24,164
Do you wanna be my boyfriend?

1559
01:14:24,427 --> 01:14:26,338
Yeah. I'd love to be
your boyfriend.

1560
01:14:26,596 --> 01:14:30,203
- Yeah'?
- Oh, yeah.

1561
01:14:30,499 --> 01:14:33,673
At least the next three
to five minutes, anyway.

1562
01:14:38,774 --> 01:14:41,186
Yes. Bridget.
Hah.

1563
01:14:41,444 --> 01:14:43,583
Can I help you'?

1564
01:14:43,880 --> 01:14:45,882
Um, yeah, actually.

1565
01:14:46,182 --> 01:14:48,355
Have you seen... well, I
don't wanna interrupt.

1566
01:14:48,618 --> 01:14:50,195
I'm really sorry.
This was really awesome.

1567
01:14:50,219 --> 01:14:51,391
Have you seen Chelsea?

1568
01:14:51,687 --> 01:14:53,633
Um... no.

1569
01:14:53,923 --> 01:14:55,732
Okay, I'll go find her.

1570
01:14:56,025 --> 01:14:59,029
But uh, very nice.

1571
01:15:10,573 --> 01:15:13,281
Uh, excuse me?

1572
01:15:13,576 --> 01:15:14,987
- Chin chin.
- Oh. Hey.

1573
01:15:15,278 --> 01:15:17,451
Hey. You're drinking.

1574
01:15:17,747 --> 01:15:19,988
Uh... is-
where is your parent guardian?

1575
01:15:20,283 --> 01:15:21,990
Oh. Freudian slip?

1576
01:15:22,285 --> 01:15:24,390
Clever.

1577
01:15:24,654 --> 01:15:26,099
- You think so?
- Mm-hmm.

1578
01:15:26,389 --> 01:15:28,200
Oh, well, 'cause I thought
I was kinda obvious.

1579
01:15:28,224 --> 01:15:29,897
With- and people
have been...

1580
01:15:30,159 --> 01:15:31,433
Where is Van Horn?

1581
01:15:31,727 --> 01:15:33,167
Aren't you in like
the seventh grade?

1582
01:15:33,329 --> 01:15:34,569
- Eighth.
- Eighth...

1583
01:15:34,830 --> 01:15:36,434
Oh, okay.

1584
01:15:36,732 --> 01:15:39,178
Okay. Eighth grade.

1585
01:15:39,468 --> 01:15:40,674
Here.
I'll take that away.

1586
01:15:40,970 --> 01:15:43,416
Meow!

1587
01:15:43,673 --> 01:15:45,516
Oh, my god.

1588
01:15:45,808 --> 01:15:47,151
It's Rebecca.

1589
01:15:47,443 --> 01:15:48,443
Whatever.

1590
01:15:48,678 --> 01:15:50,954
Uh, Rebecca...
Oh...

1591
01:15:51,247 --> 01:15:52,692
Seriously, no drinking.

1592
01:15:52,982 --> 01:15:54,626
Chill, man. Just go
take care of your shit.

1593
01:15:54,650 --> 01:15:55,958
I'm good.

1594
01:15:59,956 --> 01:16:02,436
- - You wanna
take this somewhere else?

1595
01:16:02,692 --> 01:16:04,000
What?

1596
01:16:04,293 --> 01:16:05,293
I'm your boyfriend now.

1597
01:16:05,461 --> 01:16:06,997
You announced this to me.

1598
01:16:07,296 --> 01:16:09,105
- What?
- You don' think it's a good idea?

1599
01:16:09,365 --> 01:16:10,673
Come on.

1600
01:16:10,967 --> 01:16:12,139
What? Why?

1601
01:16:12,435 --> 01:16:15,382
We're in, babe. Come on,
let's go in here.

1602
01:16:30,119 --> 01:16:31,564
Ahem. Hey, Brett.

1603
01:16:31,854 --> 01:16:33,734
Oh, hey, buddy. Gates
should be here any minute.

1604
01:16:33,956 --> 01:16:35,634
I can't wait to give you
that recommendation.

1605
01:16:35,658 --> 01:16:36,966
Yeah, Brett.

1606
01:16:37,226 --> 01:16:38,296
She's...

1607
01:16:38,561 --> 01:16:40,336
Just close the door
and walk away.

1608
01:16:40,629 --> 01:16:43,405
Be cool.

1609
01:16:43,699 --> 01:16:45,542
- Hey.
- What's the problem, Shaquille?

1610
01:16:45,835 --> 01:16:47,115
There's enough ass to go around.

1611
01:16:47,203 --> 01:16:48,648
Go find your own, okay?

1612
01:16:48,904 --> 01:16:50,247
Brett, she's pretty drunk.

1613
01:16:50,539 --> 01:16:51,813
Yeah? What's your point?

1614
01:16:52,074 --> 01:16:54,418
Oh, I just don't think
it's a good idea.

1615
01:16:54,710 --> 01:16:56,747
- You know, so...
- Don't be a pussy, man.

1616
01:16:57,046 --> 01:16:58,252
Girls get drunk

1617
01:16:58,547 --> 01:17:00,158
so they can use it
as an excuse the next day.

1618
01:17:00,182 --> 01:17:01,252
It's how it works.

1619
01:17:01,550 --> 01:17:03,052
I just don't agree.
Alexa's my friend.

1620
01:17:03,352 --> 01:17:04,660
And so...

1621
01:17:04,920 --> 01:17:06,760
You really are a little
pussy, aren't you, huh?

1622
01:17:06,922 --> 01:17:09,002
- Why don't you just be cool'?
- How 'bout this, man?

1623
01:17:09,258 --> 01:17:11,870
How about I kick your ass and then I
do your friend, how's that sound?

1624
01:17:11,894 --> 01:17:13,100
No, no, lay back.

1625
01:17:16,432 --> 01:17:18,605
Oh, you're gonna regret that.

1626
01:17:39,288 --> 01:17:40,288
Whoa, whoa.

1627
01:17:40,556 --> 01:17:42,968
Oh, this isn't good. Okay.

1628
01:17:43,259 --> 01:17:45,339
I should've known you were
just Southside trash, man.

1629
01:17:45,594 --> 01:17:48,302
You'll always be a loser.
Just like your daddy.

1630
01:17:48,597 --> 01:17:50,270
Oh, yeah?
Tiger claw!

1631
01:17:50,566 --> 01:17:51,566
Get the hell outta here.

1632
01:17:51,700 --> 01:17:52,940
Hey, leave him alone, asshole.

1633
01:17:53,235 --> 01:17:54,875
Oh, really. What's this
guy gonna do, huh?

1634
01:17:54,904 --> 01:17:56,474
Testicles, throat, eyes.

1635
01:17:56,772 --> 01:17:58,080
Oh, sh it.

1636
01:18:00,576 --> 01:18:01,748
Get him, Brei l.

1637
01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:13,825
I'm looking
for a Shaquille Horowitz.

1638
01:18:14,123 --> 01:18:17,332
Shaquille!

1639
01:18:17,626 --> 01:18:20,072
What's the deal,
Horowitz? Huh'?

1640
01:18:20,329 --> 01:18:24,175
He was trying
to take advantage of Alexa?

1641
01:18:24,467 --> 01:18:25,969
Nice try.

1642
01:18:26,268 --> 01:18:28,188
He was the one that was all over her.
It was him.

1643
01:18:28,304 --> 01:18:30,682
No. No. No.

1644
01:18:30,973 --> 01:18:32,452
Lucky I got there when I did.

1645
01:18:32,741 --> 01:18:34,982
It's a lie.
And you know it.

1646
01:18:35,277 --> 01:18:36,517
To think I tried to help you.

1647
01:18:36,812 --> 01:18:38,092
I guess it's true what they say,

1648
01:18:38,247 --> 01:18:39,647
"take the boy
outta the trailer park

1649
01:18:39,849 --> 01:18:41,793
but you can't take the trailer
park out-fa the boy."

1650
01:18:41,817 --> 01:18:44,923
Actually, no. No one
actually says that.

1651
01:18:45,187 --> 01:18:46,996
But seriously, everyone
has to believe me.

1652
01:18:47,289 --> 01:18:48,700
It was him.

1653
01:18:48,991 --> 01:18:51,597
Why would I get with some
drunk trailer skank? Huh?

1654
01:18:51,861 --> 01:18:54,501
I can get any girl I want.
Just think about it.

1655
01:18:54,797 --> 01:18:57,437
These losers can't
get laid any other way.

1656
01:18:57,700 --> 01:19:00,180
I mean, look at him. He even
looks like a sexual deviant.

1657
01:19:00,469 --> 01:19:01,469
Freak!

1658
01:19:03,939 --> 01:19:06,010
You used my whore.

1659
01:19:06,308 --> 01:19:08,879
Now I expect to be
my money paid.

1660
01:19:09,178 --> 01:19:11,886
Fuck you, Santos! I don't
work for you anymore, okay?

1661
01:19:12,181 --> 01:19:14,491
Oh, you don't?
Huh? You don't?

1662
01:19:14,783 --> 01:19:16,558
Who do you work for then, huh?

1663
01:19:16,852 --> 01:19:18,195
You work for him?

1664
01:19:18,487 --> 01:19:20,465
I can work for whoever
the hell I want to, asshole.

1665
01:19:20,489 --> 01:19:21,490
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

1666
01:19:21,790 --> 01:19:24,031
Okay. Let me
show you this.

1667
01:19:24,326 --> 01:19:26,135
Huh.

1668
01:19:26,395 --> 01:19:27,635
Cojones.

1669
01:19:27,897 --> 01:19:31,367
You transfer to sexual,
freaky dressed man.

1670
01:19:31,667 --> 01:19:33,044
He's a freak!

1671
01:19:33,335 --> 01:19:36,976
Whoa! Okay.
Lets just bring it down.

1672
01:19:37,239 --> 01:19:39,310
This is priceless, huh, guys?

1673
01:19:39,575 --> 01:19:40,883
What the fuck, mate?

1674
01:19:41,177 --> 01:19:43,021
Hey, look. I don't know
what kind of fucked up dope

1675
01:19:43,045 --> 01:19:44,251
you're selling here.

1676
01:19:44,547 --> 01:19:46,857
But all I know is,
my lead singer just wants

1677
01:19:47,149 --> 01:19:48,589
to stare at
the motherfucking ceiling

1678
01:19:48,751 --> 01:19:50,424
thinking about
motherfucking nothing!

1679
01:19:50,719 --> 01:19:51,993
Motherfucker!

1680
01:19:52,254 --> 01:19:54,132
Hey, calm down. All right.
We can talk about this.

1681
01:19:54,156 --> 01:19:55,156
Oh, shit!

1682
01:19:55,391 --> 01:19:56,701
Dr. gates.
I'm Shaquille Horowitz.

1683
01:19:56,725 --> 01:19:59,262
Look, uh.
I can explain everything.

1684
01:19:59,562 --> 01:20:00,939
Oh, I'm sure you can, son.

1685
01:20:01,230 --> 01:20:03,506
But I think maybe you have
a few things to sort out.

1686
01:20:03,766 --> 01:20:05,439
We can revisit
this opportunity next year.

1687
01:20:05,734 --> 01:20:08,180
No, no, no.
I wanna revisit that now.

1688
01:20:08,437 --> 01:20:10,781
I need the recommendation now.

1689
01:20:11,073 --> 01:20:12,450
Fuck you!

1690
01:20:12,741 --> 01:20:14,778
I think I've seen enough
for one night, don't you?

1691
01:20:15,077 --> 01:20:17,523
Sir, if you just let me explain,

1692
01:20:17,780 --> 01:20:18,780
I...

1693
01:20:19,949 --> 01:20:22,259
I threw this party for you.

1694
01:20:22,551 --> 01:20:23,791
It's gone terribly wrong.

1695
01:20:24,086 --> 01:20:27,533
But um...
Look, I come from nothing.

1696
01:20:27,790 --> 01:20:31,795
And I will stop at nothing to
get your recommendation.

1697
01:20:32,094 --> 01:20:33,630
Just please give me a chance.

1698
01:20:33,929 --> 01:20:36,239
Give it to someone
who gives a shit, freak.

1699
01:20:36,532 --> 01:20:38,443
Mr. gates. I'm sorry you had
to witness all this.

1700
01:20:38,467 --> 01:20:40,538
I had no idea he was
such a sexual creep.

1701
01:20:40,803 --> 01:20:42,111
He's a gay Henry.

1702
01:20:42,404 --> 01:20:46,147
You're some kind of freaky
kind of sex dress man.

1703
01:20:46,442 --> 01:20:47,648
Huh?

1704
01:20:47,943 --> 01:20:49,621
Don't worry about it.
Brei is, let's get him.

1705
01:20:50,646 --> 01:20:52,216
Wait! Wait!

1706
01:20:52,481 --> 01:20:53,721
No, he didn't do anything.

1707
01:20:53,983 --> 01:20:57,055
He... he's-
he is the asshole.

1708
01:20:57,319 --> 01:20:58,319
He is the one.

1709
01:20:58,454 --> 01:20:59,454
Yeah, right.

1710
01:20:59,722 --> 01:21:01,167
In your dreams,
you Southside slut.

1711
01:21:01,457 --> 01:21:03,903
I mean, really, this girl?
Like, are you kidding me guys?

1712
01:21:04,159 --> 01:21:07,299
I think it's time
you boys made your exit.

1713
01:21:07,596 --> 01:21:10,634
Oh, really? What the
fuck are you gonna do'?

1714
01:21:10,933 --> 01:21:13,174
Me'?

1715
01:21:18,007 --> 01:21:20,180
I'm not gonna do shit.

1716
01:21:20,476 --> 01:21:22,922
'Cause I'm a lover,
not a fighter.

1717
01:21:23,178 --> 01:21:25,454
But him?

1718
01:21:25,748 --> 01:21:27,625
Now he's a fighter.

1719
01:21:33,822 --> 01:21:35,096
Come on!

1720
01:21:43,165 --> 01:21:44,667
Creepy eyes.

1721
01:21:44,967 --> 01:21:47,811
Get in there
and enjoy your party, okay?

1722
01:21:48,103 --> 01:21:49,707
Southsider forever.

1723
01:21:52,875 --> 01:21:54,286
I gotta find me a woman.

1724
01:22:02,518 --> 01:22:04,361
Um, how about that drink?

1725
01:22:10,893 --> 01:22:14,864
Shaquille, you don't have to be like
those assholes to be successful.

1726
01:22:15,164 --> 01:22:16,675
I thought that's
what you wanted though,

1727
01:22:16,699 --> 01:22:18,804
I thought that they
were your friend.

1728
01:22:19,068 --> 01:22:20,411
You have real friends.

1729
01:22:20,703 --> 01:22:22,512
Those guys? They'll never
be anyone's friends.

1730
01:22:22,805 --> 01:22:25,149
Then why scholarship with them?

1731
01:22:25,407 --> 01:22:28,149
Why do you think?

1732
01:22:28,410 --> 01:22:29,855
The parties, man!

1733
01:22:30,145 --> 01:22:34,560
And the never-ending supply
of hot college pussy!

1734
01:22:34,850 --> 01:22:36,386
And Brett, he is a pimp.

1735
01:22:38,721 --> 01:22:41,827
Now you didn't buy into that whole
motivational thing did you?

1736
01:22:42,091 --> 01:22:44,833
No.

1737
01:22:45,094 --> 01:22:46,903
And you, you know
how to make it happen.

1738
01:22:47,196 --> 01:22:49,733
Mm-hmm.

1739
01:22:50,032 --> 01:22:52,774
Mmm.
Yeah...

1740
01:22:53,068 --> 01:22:56,106
You got the scholarship,
don't worry.

1741
01:22:56,405 --> 01:22:58,442
Aren't you gonna show me around?

1742
01:22:58,741 --> 01:23:00,584
Well Shaquille, um...

1743
01:23:00,876 --> 01:23:03,720
Looks like I'll be
seeing you around real soon.

1744
01:23:04,012 --> 01:23:06,686
We will-we will'?

1745
01:23:06,949 --> 01:23:08,792
Wow.

1746
01:23:14,556 --> 01:23:16,467
Hey there, maybe had enough?

1747
01:23:16,759 --> 01:23:17,897
What?

1748
01:23:18,193 --> 01:23:19,704
Hey, come on.
You're biting the cap off.

1749
01:23:19,728 --> 01:23:21,128
I had one drink.
Are you kidding me?

1750
01:23:21,397 --> 01:23:24,606
- Really? Really?
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

1751
01:23:24,900 --> 01:23:27,813
- Oh... you are... yeah...
- One drink, one drink.

1752
01:23:32,574 --> 01:23:34,485
♪ photobucket, Facebook asshole ♪

1753
01:23:34,777 --> 01:23:37,986
♪ in your SUV ♪

1754
01:23:38,280 --> 01:23:40,590
♪ yeah, you suck ♪

1755
01:23:43,252 --> 01:23:46,392
♪ yeah, you suck ♪

1756
01:23:46,655 --> 01:23:48,657
♪ skinny jeans
and bed head haircut ♪

1757
01:23:48,957 --> 01:23:52,302
♪ you're not a chick
so don't wear makeup <i>♪</i>

1758
01:23:52,594 --> 01:23:54,232
♪ yeah, you suck ♪

1759
01:23:57,266 --> 01:24:01,840
♪ yeah, you suck ♪

1760
01:24:02,137 --> 01:24:05,414
You suck balls!

1761
01:24:05,674 --> 01:24:07,620
♪ Your faux-hawk hairdo,
big blonde girlfriend ♪

1762
01:24:07,910 --> 01:24:10,982
♪ your both douche bags
so use protection ♪

1763
01:24:11,280 --> 01:24:15,456
♪ 'cause your babies
are gonna suck <i>♪</i>

1764
01:24:15,751 --> 01:24:16,821
♪ don't have babies ♪

1765
01:24:17,119 --> 01:24:20,862
♪ you suck ♪

1766
01:24:21,156 --> 01:24:25,468
♪ you're too stupid
to be ironic ♪

1767
01:24:25,761 --> 01:24:31,211
♪ so don't try
to impress me ♪

1768
01:24:31,500 --> 01:24:33,776
♪ you suck
you suck ♪

1769
01:24:34,036 --> 01:24:35,640
<i>♪</i> everything
about you sucks <i>♪</i>

1770
01:24:35,938 --> 01:24:36,939
♪ you suck ♪

1771
01:24:37,206 --> 01:24:39,277
♪ you suck ♪

1772
01:24:39,541 --> 01:24:41,319
{Crowd member] Fuck you!

1773
01:24:41,343 --> 01:24:43,223
You guys
are fucking horrible!

1774
01:24:44,813 --> 01:24:47,521
The worst fucking band ever!

1775
01:24:52,387 --> 01:24:54,663
Dude, are you all right?

1776
01:24:54,957 --> 01:24:55,992
Of course I'm all right.

1777
01:24:56,291 --> 01:24:57,435
Why the fuck wouldn't
be all right?

1778
01:24:57,459 --> 01:24:58,459
My nose hurts.

1779
01:24:58,527 --> 01:25:00,063
- Stop whining.
- It hurts.

1780
01:25:00,362 --> 01:25:03,036
Hey, your eye looks
pre y messed up.

1781
01:25:03,332 --> 01:25:05,252
Who the fuck are you'?
Why are you talking to me?

1782
01:25:05,534 --> 01:25:07,172
Your eye looks pre y bad.

1783
01:25:07,469 --> 01:25:09,745
Hey, is that whiskey?
Can I have some?

1784
01:25:10,038 --> 01:25:11,038
Yeah, knock yourself out.

1785
01:25:16,078 --> 01:25:17,386
Daddy?

1786
01:25:17,679 --> 01:25:20,990
Who the fuck is all this?

1787
01:25:21,250 --> 01:25:22,854
Whiskey? Did you just
give her whiskey?

1788
01:25:23,151 --> 01:25:25,722
Yeah, no,
it's not what it's-

1789
01:25:26,021 --> 01:25:28,001
what the hell
happened to your eye?

1790
01:25:28,257 --> 01:25:29,736
It's a long story. Man.

1791
01:25:30,025 --> 01:25:33,336
He tried to take advantage
of a drunk girl at the party.

1792
01:25:33,595 --> 01:25:35,075
- What?
- It's not what it. Hey man...

1793
01:25:35,163 --> 01:25:36,683
Calm down, it's not
what it seems like.

1794
01:25:36,732 --> 01:25:38,734
Okay'?

1795
01:25:39,034 --> 01:25:40,845
You thought you could
take advantage of my daughter,

1796
01:25:40,869 --> 01:25:41,574
is that what you thought?

1797
01:25:41,870 --> 01:25:43,372
No, it's what...
No. No!

1798
01:25:43,672 --> 01:25:45,083
She showed up.

1799
01:25:45,374 --> 01:25:46,684
Is that what you thought?

1800
01:25:51,046 --> 01:25:52,957
So, what'd you think?

1801
01:25:53,248 --> 01:25:54,968
Chels, it was really...
It was really great.

1802
01:25:55,017 --> 01:25:56,087
You're really awesome.

1803
01:25:56,385 --> 01:25:58,729
- It was horrible.
- It was horrible.

1804
01:26:00,856 --> 01:26:02,563
You look really nice though.

1805
01:26:02,858 --> 01:26:05,930
Some might even
say, "hot."

1806
01:26:06,228 --> 01:26:09,038
Who are you?

1807
01:26:09,298 --> 01:26:13,371
Look, I'm-I'm sorry I'm sorry, that
I've been acting like such a jerk.

1808
01:26:13,635 --> 01:26:14,909
Um...

1809
01:26:15,203 --> 01:26:17,181
What happened between us
really did mean something.

1810
01:26:17,205 --> 01:26:20,743
Then why are you
being such a dick?

1811
01:26:21,043 --> 01:26:23,643
I don't know, I just... I wanted
so badly to get out of this town.

1812
01:26:23,812 --> 01:26:25,492
I just didn't think
that this could ever...

1813
01:26:25,547 --> 01:26:26,252
Work.

1814
01:26:26,548 --> 01:26:27,548
Hello, don't you think

1815
01:26:27,783 --> 01:26:29,490
I want to git out of here, too?

1816
01:26:29,785 --> 01:26:34,131
And besides, no one ever really
knows how anything is gonna work.

1817
01:26:36,158 --> 01:26:39,401
So... I think I'm over
the whole band thing.

1818
01:26:39,661 --> 01:26:40,401
Really?

1819
01:26:40,662 --> 01:26:41,662
Yeah.

1820
01:26:41,830 --> 01:26:43,241
I thought it was your life.

1821
01:26:43,498 --> 01:26:47,469
I'm 17, dude. I don't
know what my life is.

1822
01:26:47,769 --> 01:26:49,976
You know what, Chels?

1823
01:26:50,272 --> 01:26:51,342
Life is a highway,

1824
01:26:51,640 --> 01:26:53,916
and you just gotta ride
it all night long.

1825
01:26:54,176 --> 01:26:55,336
Sometimes, "teen wolf" style,

1826
01:26:55,577 --> 01:26:57,250
you get up there,
you do a handstand,

1827
01:26:57,512 --> 01:27:00,152
the cure is blaring out of the
windows, it's a good time.

1828
01:27:00,449 --> 01:27:02,060
You know, when you hit
a bump on that road,

1829
01:27:02,084 --> 01:27:03,724
and hopefully you don't
fall off the side,

1830
01:27:03,752 --> 01:27:05,592
and people are watching,
and it's embarrassing-

1831
01:27:05,687 --> 01:27:07,963
shut the fuck up.

1832
01:27:13,428 --> 01:27:15,374
Party!

1833
01:27:51,533 --> 01:27:53,410
Whoo!

1834
01:27:53,702 --> 01:27:55,010
So... was that
good for you?

1835
01:27:56,304 --> 01:27:58,910
Nah, I've had better.

1836
01:28:02,210 --> 01:28:04,520
Well, it's been
a long day, I mean...