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(far voice) Deb or Deborah, never Debbie.
Leave a faggy bond at home, okay?
I'm fucking this cat. You only hold your feet.
Understand?
Bye, fire sauce.
[cloudy]
He places MILFs on Milford High.
Now, he's behind bars!
Debbie Ward, former Texas Teacher of the Year...
... tried the rig contest last year
So his daughter can win.
Ow! Dirt!
Yes, he was kidnapped his daughter's main rival,
Miss Bianca del Rio,
who I am surprised to find out is a man.
He basically makes our teacher fired
just being gay!
That's when it was famous Homosexual New York
return to Milford High as the extraordinary Bianca del Rio .
Now he doesn't even look like a woman!
What kind of woman is unnatural ?!
He bites me!
(Reporter) Snake attack at a local high school.
Does her breast implant save her life?
[shouts]
Then Miss del Rio revenge,
and that's very good.
This is not true!
This is a conspiracy!
Deputy Principal, Deborah Ward exposed as
The famous First Miss.
Underage takers male virginity.
Okay, you don't need to push me.
That damages Texas teasers, Debbie Ward,
maintain innocence.
And to this day confirms that Bianca del Rio, not her...
... are people who should be locked up in County Prisons.
Lock him!
Rise and shine, bitch!
[panting] What are you doing here?
Do you want me to be punished?
Well, here I am.
Who thinks they will make us cellmates.
Life is very chaotic, isn't it?
This can't happen.
We will become prison friends.
We will eat together.
We will sleep in the same cell.
We will watch _ each other on the toilet.
Helps! Someone called me out of here!
We will be together a long time, you and me
No revenge, Debbie.
I might even give you a makeover.
You will look very bald. [chuckles]
Now, make sure no one arrives,
Because I have to take a big dump,
and the boy will smell!
[scream loudly]
Bianca!
One more night terror for the road, I guess.
Lucky you.
Now wake up.
Time for your release.
Please sit down.
We only have a few forms for you to fill out and, uh,
a little something special before you leave.
I just want to say thank you.
All of these experiences become revelations for me.
I am a new woman.
Of course you are.
You know I'm worried that is united for a long time
you might miss on some fun
that prison life must be offered.
Oh, but it didn't.
The first night was solitary,
with cockroaches crawling in my ears
I don't think I will succeed.
But then, I see it.
See who?
My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
I destroyed a cockroach the wall with my bare hands
and he is there on the goo, the face of Jesus!
And at that time, I knew I was born again.
Again.
Okay, I don't think that is something.
Oh that.
I baptize myself the toilet is just for sure.
And now I'm out,
I will do the job God intended me to do it.
Charity charity or what?
I will kill Bianca del Rio!
Excuse me?
With kindness.
I will kill him with Christian kindness.
That crazy bitch.
He can't even spell. Look at this.
[Thunder rumbles]
Awas, Bianca del Rio.
[tasting lips] I will come for you!
Will no one pick me up?
Ow! No!
ΓÖ¬
[crazy laugh]
[school bell rings]
No, no, Melanie.
I am very sure that the Earth is round.
- Hey, Mr. Martinez? - Uh, yeah.
Can you tell me about Sputnik again?
Oh, look at you, take interest in class.
Isn't Russian Sputnik for potatoes?
Well, actually, Sputnik was launched in 1957.
You remember that year...
That is your year Grandma sleeps with her uncle
and give birth to to your cousin's father.
[all laughs]
- Goodbye, Mr. Martinez. - Goodbye, kids.
Look, make sure you get it the papers are complete.
They will mature in a week.
And I know you potheads don't want to spend
Your Spring Break Work on homework.
Surprise, bitch!
Oh! Oh, ho-ho!
What are you doing here?
Dan Rex. Ooh... Ooh...
Where is Bailey?
Oh dear, I left Bailey kennel in New York City.
He is fine.
But Rex here is a helpless baby
and he can't be left alone, so tada!
[hard] Hello, Rex. How about rehab?
This bar looks closed.
That's because it's middle school, baby.
You hope Rex knows what is high school?
He was educated in the Barbie Dream House.
When you pull the rope, the elevator goes up.
Ooh, Science 101.
Oh, Mama, it's getting worse.
I ask for directions to on the way here.
He points to the windshield and says...
We go there.
Well, I like to see not much has changed.
Especially not in this case small Texas-ass city.
Bitch, it still looks like 1865.
Why are you still here?
Well, someone has to do it teach these kids
that the world is older from those pants.
Really, girl?
Long navy blue capri your age?
My age?
You have been away from New York City for a while.
This is back.
This bar looks dead and I spend my drink.
Wait a minute. Have you? drink lighter liquids?
I hope it's fair alcohol in a thermos
because he is the last one Xanax me with that nonsense.
Think they are Mentos.
New creator.
He should die, right?
Years ago.
Come on. Let's give you ride to your place.
Come on, girl, I got my car back!
- Do you get your license back? - Well, technically, no.
Oh come on, Rex baby. Put him behind. Baby seats.
I think the lesson is:
make sure your husband's penis is not in the drain
before you turn on garbage disposal.
Thank you for the tip!
And then on the show we have Marsha Marshall,
who will show us ten different ways
to decorate your cat for Easter.
Meow!
But first, go back to the news, in the headlines, Russia.
Vladimir Putin has been assigned
New Prime Minister from Homosexual Propaganda,
Svetslap ZlopaΓöü
Svetlana Zlopasnost.
Oh! Well, that's how it is. That is a mouthful.
Gosh! He looks fun at a party.
Unless your party is gay,
because it's illegal!
Right, you are the queen of Russia.
Don't even think about it decorate your cat for Easter.
You might land in jail. [chuckles]
Does Russia even celebrate Easter?
Other countries are very strange.
[Audio TV] Oh, don't talk bad about Russia
They might hack your email.
Mama, you are back! What happened?
They released me.
There was no one there to pick me up so I had to walk home.
I'm sorry. I do not know.
No problem. Walking makes me good.
Give me time to clear my mind and think.
I come in six new ways
to make Bianca del Rio fired and get out of our lives.
What I need is a t-shirt cannon and four live raccoons.
Mama, you have to forget it.
After the trial and all the publicity,
there is no district can do to get rid of it.
This is over.
No no no no.
I will not let Bianca del Rio win.
- Uh-uh! - We need money.
We two payments behind on a mortgage.
Rent-A-Center takes over the chair.
And remember how did my breasts appear?
Of course.
Doctors say if I can't get next season ΓÇ £ BotchedΓÇ ¥ "
this will be $ 10,000 for reconstructive surgery.
That is if I want it same size.
- As before? - Like each other!
Mama, we are bankrupt.
Your small scheme only worsens the situation.
Is this what you want?
A world where strange and homosexuals are strange can you do whatever they want?
Noah-uh.
I don't pray for that President Trump every morning
to turn this country into large transgender toilet.
How will we do it? makes America great again with Bianca del Rio still in it?
Oh!
Where is my seat?
It's OK, Mama.
We will give you a job
and we will return on our feet again,
Get me back to the bra again.
Oh, prison is very difficult! Carly, you don't even know!
I will eat soup with spork.
Eggnog Our Christmas is affixed with Old Spice.
Revenge on Bianca
is the only one let me go.
There, there, Mama.
What are you watching?
ΓÇ £ Texas Today. Ç ¥ I have never missed an event.
(TV) Some human rights activists ¥ ¥ crazy
because in Russia they can throw anyone
they are even suspected of being gay
in prison without trial.
Well, you know me.
- I don't hate homosexuals. - No.
Even after Roger burned my neck with hair curlers last week -
and I still think that intentionally.
But, you know, you can
still fired here just to bein 'gay.
But that doesn't mean you have to be angry about that
and start waving your hand in the air with hot iron.
You must be grateful for what you have.
Exactly.
Just because it's legal to discriminate against anyone
at the bakery anytime, anywhere,
at least we don't throw you into prison.
Right.
You think Texas is evil,
You have to try to go to Saudi Arabia, Roger!
Worse than Russia.
They throw homosexuals outside the building there.
Oh my God, it's not fun and it's very moist.
A nice dress, Deborah.
When Rent-A-Center takes your seat,
I see them leaving you with the cloth.
[crazy laugh]
[snoring]
[shouts]
[crazy laugh]
Maybe the terrorist Arabs are going to something.
Ah, amazing.
Another episode of "Small House in Dreary."
Where does Ma Ingalls keep the moonshine?
Alcohol is above the sink in the kitchen.
Anything under the sink is poison.
So, help yourself whatever you want there.
I can't believe you bring Rex here.
Yes yes.
Well, I think he needs changes in scenery,
and he is not the only one.
Serious
Here you are.
You are still in the same school,
still in this case ragged old house.
Uh, honey, I moved.
Still in a new slum house,
still with those glasses.
And I know very well that Lasik made it to Texas.
Honey, you know they will take whatever reason they can
to shoot someone around here.
I am very glad you are driving all the way from Pulau Api
in a rental car criticizes my life.
Me too, Sis.
Great catchin 'up.
Okay, listen. I'm fine here.
- Do you get a raise? - No.
Sleep with a heat trainer?
- No! - Then how is this all right?
And I don't even talk about it that creepy curtain.
- Ah... - Listen.
Bianca makes you famous.
Well, famous for gay, which is like the famous straight away
unless you don't make it that much money.
And in America, the only reason is famous is -
say with me now -
make love and get paid.
Yes. I read your clothes.
I made that shirt... and this.
I make a lot of things.
I am a maker... new maker.
Weeee!
[Rex gurgles]
Yes... Uh, listen.
You need more Bianca in your life.
No! Bianca is on top in the closet where she is.
No one wants to see again Bianca,
let alone Bianca teach Chemistry.
Bianca does not just have to teach.
Listen, Ambrosia Salad already has the same ass-green wig
and the same broken heels since Stonewall,
and he still makes money, honey.
What is wrong with me being here teaching?
That's what I'm doing here.
- Well... - There...
Do you know what! Enough about me.
Okay... Good question.
Do you live for dinner?
Yes or no? Because I have a box of wine
it will not drink alone.
A girl's night?
Mm-hmm.
You have me in the box, bitch.
[both laugh] Come on, girl.
Don't throw water in my skillet!
Ooh, damn it.
ΓÖ¬
I make coffee.
What happened last night? I don't remember anything.
This is vodka!
This is the taste of coffee.
Your bitches put me past it last night
and that doesn't help.
- Oh, girl. - Oh!
You just quit the training, that's all.
Yes. It's easy like falling off a bicycle.
I never forget how.
We have fun... and you release it.
And we even got a little Bianca del Rio there.
What? Oh! God.
Oh... I'm not sure this is progress.
I finally met the famous Bianca del Rio.
And he is much more fun than you, trust me.
Oh, shut up.
Hey, what? what's up with the bag?
Under your eyes?
Just pass it, honey.
Goodbye, woman.
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Where do you go?
Where do you go? !!
I know you don't come here to intervene.
No, but I can.
Now sister, listen.
What I say next to you,
I say brightly Baby Jesus is sweet.
Look at what you have experienced -
an old woman who lives alone on a fixed income.
You make money, but you never make enough to go.
It's called Texas Holdem.
I think I have a stack of cards in my ass.
Listen, I'm from here. I know how that is.
Pull Bianca from the genie bottle
and escape now.
Oh good!
And just go back to New York with you two?
Oh, not New York, honey.
I will go to Hollywood.
Well, technically, Long Beach, but...
Like Hollywood but for lesbians and obese people.
I appear on a cruise ship.
Cruise ship? How are you? take Rex on a cruise?
He can hardly stand on dry land.
Oh, I'm not leaving.
I live here with you.
Oh no, no, no, no!
- No no. - Ah yes.
No! You are not leaving me with this thing!
Maybe the sweet Texas sun has made your brain soft.
Rex is your problem; My Bailey.
That is the whole thing
Little Sisters, Big Messes program works.
I have been away for more than a year.
Rex is no longer my problem.
When you temporarily leave, you take your little gold fish,
but you leave you not enough fish with me.
Now I have a bigger fish to fry, be your Rex again.
(Rex) I'm fine.
I only need a few electrolytes.
- No no no no... - Oh yeah...
Get out of my car!
You don't bring him here before.
Why do you bring it here now?
Because before he has a man,
but because he swallowed the bag containing the money, yeah...
Is this Red Bull or Gatorade?
That's antifreeze! Get out of there!
Ha ha! I told you You will be a good mother,
and not just because of your hips.
Your life is empty.
I give it a goal.
Thank you again, bitch.
- No no no no. - You are welcome!
- Don't do this to me. - I go, bitch.
Don't do this to me.
- Write me on a cruise. - Stephen, it's not fair!
I hope you fall in love propellers, you evil bitch.
- No! - Oh, yes!
I will never release it, Jack.
Go fishing!
Damn!
Weee!
I think you are nocturnal.
Go, get out of here! Get out of here!
Keep your face Bianca away from me.
Look, Mama. I'm beautiful again.
Yes. Looks like
You smuggle fender across borders.
Don't worry, Carly.
You will get you real fake breasts immediately.
I have a plan.
Work plan, right?
Not too much complicated revenge plot.
Attacked by the raccoon, by the way.
What is the worst place on Earth?
Texas in July?
Worse than Texas.
Bigger than Texas.
Harder than Texas.
Russia?
That's where vodka is born.
And the election was stolen.
Who cares when you are the winner!
£Ç £ A payment of all fees, first class tickets to Moscow. Ç ¥
It smells like a scam.
Don't see a gift prostitute in the mouth,
because he might have teeth jacking up. [giggling]
I mean, how do I win the contest that I didn't even enter?
Because you didn't win.
Seeing... Bianca won.
£Ç £ We are happy to respect This Year's Teachers
Bianca del Rio,
in annual Alchemy and Factory expositions
and offer it $ 100,000 cash prize
paid in real American money. ¥
Looks good.
I think this means Bianca will return.
Crunch!
I'm watching that shows you like,
and they talk about it how they throw gays
of buildings in Saudi Arabia.
And I think, £Γ £ How do I get it Bianca del Rio to Riyadh? ΓÇ ¥
You can't throw someone from a building, Mama.
I know. I mean they hardly let you drive there.
So I think, okay,
what's the next best the worst place ever.
Russia!
Well why is that Bianca del Rio going to Russia?
Easy. I sent him a letter saying ' he won this teaching award,
only he must go to Russia to get it.
Know him, it's an offer his ego can't refuse.
And as soon as they get it see it well,
they will know he is a strange bait drag queen freak
and lock it.
Right, so pack those bags!
We will go to Russia!
I can't fly to Russia.
This is the middle school year.
[hiccups]
How much are you drunk?
I am fully aware.
This is my one hour chip.
I'm full.
And you can't go too.
You say that you just got the job from your application.
I do it! Last night in the park.
I know you think I'm not working hard,
but I will work two jobs at once if I have to,
or if one of them is really hot.
Remember when I told you that when you spoke
it makes people sad?
What should you lose?
Contact the number on the letter.
If it's legal, free travel to Russia -
and all that money!
Well, the expo is during spring break,
and $ 100,000 lots of money.
And as much as I hate to admit it, Stephen is right.
There is absolutely nothing keeps me here in Texas.
Less than anything.
Okay, alright.
Dasvidaniya, Texas!
Bianca del Rio goes to Russia!
[both laugh, cheer]
I can't wait to see Bianca in action.
No no No. You didn't come with me.
I'm sure there are some long-term my kennel can put you in
You owe me.
You leave New York, and I can't even say goodbye.
Prostitute, you are in the ICU.
Oh yeah. It's a fun party.
If I can't go to Russia, I think I'll just stay here,
without care.
Hey, you don't need you clean the deposit back, right?
Good. Put it down. Good, good.
Bianca and Rex will go to Russia.
[cheering]
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
And listen. We will be friends.
Don't be handsome, ΓÇÿ causes if you do it,
I will throw you in the trash,
like you born on prom night.
Me-I-I just need to check in with the CDC before I leave.
They always want to know where I am.
And now I have to get Silkwood Shower.
It's dirty.
So how do I send Bianca to Russia? Get us out of debt and I wear a bigger bra?
First, we go to Russia.
Then, we witnessed the Minister Homosexual Propaganda
put Bianca in jail forever.
Next, we fix your breasts cheap dirt in Moscow.
The whole country is like that one giant Dollar store.
Then, with Bianca out of the picture,
I will get my old job back in school.
I mean, lose, win-win.
Wait. If we can't buy a recliner,
how will we be able to to get to Russia?
Well, I may already have myself declared legally dead
and collected insurance money
by pretending my imaginary twin brother.
But we will handle it when we return...
from Russia!
Woo hoo!
Do you have more wig glue? I go out.
I told you doesn't huff that thing.
You have almost no double-digit IQ as is.
I use it for legitimate purposes.
I've downloaded a lot of applications on my phone -
translator, local restaurant guide, both are hookup applications.
It turns out there are many bears in Russia
it is lesbian.
[laughs]
Where do you think you will dress like that?
Moscow!
How are you doing? pass airport security?
Okay, I will change, but I don't want to miss our 9:00 flight.
Yes, 9... at 9 pm! In the evening!
On Saturday!
It's Wednesday, you're stupid.
Here.
Now listen. I have two more days in high school
before we get out of here.
Don't swallow a full tube cents when I leave.
That only happens once.
[ship horns blow]
Mama, why Bianca can fly first class to Russia
and we are stuck hiding in this shipping container?
I have to be sure Bianca takes the bait.
Also, now I am legally dead,
I don't technically have another passport.
Why is your bag moved?
Oh, I have one raccoon together
if we need it.
Or if we are hungry...
This will be a long journey.
- Old Spices? - No.
Seduce!
Ah!
[raccoon raccoon]
ΓÖ¬
I am sure that the film is Γ £ PsychoΓÇ ¥
filmed in the bathroom.
Twinsies!
Oh, thank God.
The only thing that will happen makes this room worse
very pleasant share a bed with you.
You must be very lucky.
You know this place is really, really dirty.
That makes Motel 6 look luxurious.
No wonder Tolstoy is very sad.
Right?
Remember in Tolstoy Three when they
all holding hands in the furnace?
I don't know cartoons can destroy my dirty like that.
You have to speak less and maybe read more.
At least the room is equipped a free bottle of vodka.
Yes, okay, we can use it as a disinfectant.
I can see Alaska from my room!
I don't think so.
Hiiiii-eeeeee!
Yes, fortunately, we don't will have to be here long,
only a few days.
Well, we have to soak some local colors.
Oh my God.
I want to go to the Expo and let them know I'm here.
£Ç £ House HuntersΓÇ ¥! I like this show.
[TV, with Russian accents] I like number one home.
Open concept kitchen has a good flow between
living room and bedroom because there is no interior wall.
But we have to draw water from the back well
because there are no indoor pipes.
There is also no number three house.
The living room wall collapsed let lots of natural light,
we need because someone takes off the copper cable.
Desperate huts good,
but I-I-I don't like walls with so many nails in it.
We are not royalties.
I like number two home. This is in our price range.
But on the small side
and a little too close to Chernobyl.
Yes, but the inner wall and updated bathroom sell me.
I think house number two.
We, young heterosexuals are good the couple choose correctly.
The second house with the modern modernor,
equipment that works
and tasteful use rich colors,
clearly the work of a deviant homosexuals who must be punished!
"Home Hunter" has decreased
since they got rid of Suzanne Whang.
It's not £ £ House Hunters .ΓÇ ¥ That's ΓÇ £ Homo Hunters. And look! That Svetlana -
Russian bitch.
He is Minister Homosexual Propaganda.
He who is puts all gays in prison.
To make him wear that jacket?
No, asshole, because it's gay!
Russia has a very strict law,
that's why it's very important for you to be inconspicuous.
Do you know what the word means?
Not striking is my middle name.
I have meaningful parents.
Hey, girl!
So much because it doesn't attract attention!
What? I don't want people to know we are at a science exhibition.
What we have to do is to find the coordinator
and let them know that Bianca will be here tomorrow
to collect checks, then we exit here.
Siri. How do you say Γ £ hot nerdΓÇ ¥ in Russian?
(phone) I'm not Siri, you're a capitalist pig.
- Look. - Just look around.
You don't need an application for that.
Ugh! My boredom is zero feet.
[chat is not clear]
[Russian accent] For light bulbs, we cut potatoes into two.
Find two coins if you can avoid it,
two nails from the next house,
and a little of copper wire.
Now, copper wire is easy to take from neighbors,
because once you take both home nails fall.
He is funny.
When we return to the hotel, remind me to go
to the basement and find your standard.
Standard? Come from you?
You're the one found registry of sex offenders
and think of that a dating site.
Add all these ingredients along with potatoes
and we make electricity.
Any questions?
Da
When do we eat potatoes?
Oh
How many were distributed in in one and a half potatoes?
The whole family?
Potatoes to produce electricity. Not to eat.
[all sighs]
Hi. I am Richard Martinez,
and I am a science teacher from America and...
... and this is my friend Rex,
and we came here for, uh, science fairs.
Hi. Mitya.
Short for Dmitriy.
Mitya, nice to meet you '.
[chuckles]
Oh look!
There are others.
We can have lunch soon, Mama.
The raccoon is not too filling.
Yes, yes. I just found Bianca
and then get the police rush here and catch it.
That will be glorious!
Why do Russian prostitutes pee on the mattress?
ΓÇÿ Because he thinks you, Deborah!
[panting] Fake news!
[shouts]
Hasta la pavement, bitch!
Debbieeee !!!!
[laughs crazy]
He is dressed like Richard ?!
How will I ask the police to arrest him? if he's just a run-of-the-mill gay burger
without fire sauce and extra cheese?
Mmm, cheese... You make me hungry.
Come on. Let's go back to the hotel.
I know the way get rid of him there.
America is a long way to come only for the small Alchemy Exhibition.
Well, I...
I mean, a friend of mine gets a prize.
So I just came here tonight to, uh, meet with the organizer.
Ah, Sacha is gone, but will come back tomorrow.
Will you, um, be here tomorrow?
Yes.
I see you?
Sure.
- Good. - Good.
See you later.
- Da. - Mm-hmm.
- Yes. - See you.
See you later.
Ahhh!
See you later...
Please don't die.
Everything I say is save it in your pants.
Russia is dangerous enough for both of us
without you making a spectacle of yourself.
Oh, don't come for me.
I see you there with the nerd queen.
Dear God, your meeting is cute very sad,
if I still have a gag reflex I will vomit.
Mitya is the only one who attracts people in that place.
And really, that is what they call
science fair here in Russia?
Thin enough for a country that elections are hacked.
Exactly! Who doesn't explain
how they are capable the plane ticket
and a $ 100,000 prize.
You always think about everything.
You know what...
You always don't think about everything.
Do you see? Do you see what you did there?
You and Stephen always say that we are friends,
but you talk about me like me your niece with Alzheimer's.
What I say is that you have to trust me more.
Why don't you just relax
and enjoy all that Russia has to offer?
Yes yes. Relax. Enjoy...
[panting] Oh !!!
[Russian Accent] Is this your room?
Uh, you-huh.
What seems to be the problem, officer?
Who is this suitcase?
- Oh... - Bianca.
Does Bianca light up the drag queen or degenerate homosexuals?
Yes.
Actually, Bianca will take, uh, this outfit and... wig
to his mother to cheer him up because, uh, he really hurts.
Cancer.
[pretend to cough]
Hmm!
Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
I-I-I has, just...
Oh good. Big. [car door slammed]
So far, your plan is relaxed and waiting to see
what Russia provides for us really works well.
isn't it? Now what will we do?
Now there are police confiscate all our obstacles!
I checked your bag.
Most of them come from mall outlets too.
There are 50 cents in my wallet.
We will replace the rest when we go home.
They expect Bianca del Rio tomorrow at the expo.
But how will Bianca go there and collect the $ 100,000 check
when Bianca is brought in a bag?!
You can use my clothes. You can have my wig.
We will let this dress come out behind... Lots.
And no one will know better.
Well, it won't work because they might already do it
see my photos on the internet.
Internet ?! They have almost no electricity.
You have seen your girlfriend and the potatoes.
That's sad.
Bianca has brown hair, and your clothes are
is walking bacterial test strips!
What we need to do is to find someone
in this country that drags.
We can make Bianca new.
I can enter, take a check, and get out of here!
Because the longer we stay here, the greater opportunity we have
someone gives us one direction tickets to Siberian hell holes!
You are very dramatic.
Good. I will ask some people in this application
if there is a gay bar around here.
I'm sure there are tragic drag shows.
Always there.
We will steal some appearance, collect the check,
and return to Texas. [pretend to choke]
What do you know!
I think I have some left vomiting reflexes.
I am full of surprises. [giggling]
[scoffs] Dirty.
Mama, you will never guess what I got.
Stop scratching or it won't heal properly.
This will not heal properly until the doctor fixes me.
We have been in Moscow for two hours and Bianca hasn't been jailed.
What kind of country is this?
We call the police and are reported
the room is full of flames pull queens and homosexuals.
What else can we do?
Can we get some lunch and find the doctor?
We will get food on the road.
The weird burger was found the gay bar they were headed for.
This can be our big breakthrough.
Um... Burger.
But first...
we need disguises.
Where are we?
I don't know. We are in Russia.
It smells like despair.
We must be close.
[knock on the door]
Da?
Glasnost!
ΓΓ¬ Spread my wings and fly... ¬ ¬ ΓÖ¬ Will tell anyone ¬Ö¬
ΓÖ¬ Will tell anyone ¬Ö¬
¬ ¬ He is an undercover ΓÖ¬
ΓÖ¬ Will tell anyone ¬Ö¬
[Russian Accent] Welcome to the Katya Club.
I am your hostess, Katya.
Hello, Katya.
This is my friend Rex, and my name is Richard.
Ah yes. Nice to meet you!
Oh
Mwah. [nervous laugh]
Hmm
Uh, I want to know, Katya, if you can help us.
I am looking for some obstacles.
Oh, perfect.
This is Gorky Park.
He is one of us the best obstacles.
Great, extraordinary talent! And it's not a fat joke.
ΓÖ¬ He is an unknown girl... ΓÖ¬
¬ ¬ Girl, girl... ¬ ¬
ΓÖ¬ And he will save the world ΓÖ¬
ΓÖ¬ World... ΓÖ¬
ΓÖ¬ He is a girl disguised ΓÖ¬
I'm actually looking for for some drag, as-
like in clothes, for me.
Huh?
This is a very long story.
Well, the story is long made up by vodka.
Pass here.
What kind of plastic surgeon has an office in the hall?
This is uncomfortable like I thought.
Focus. Bianca del Rio is there.
I want you to go in there
and come back out with full report.
If we are lucky, the police will do it collect whole fruit baskets.
When I have a student, they get classes and sass.
When Deborah has a student, they get an old, wrinkled donkey.
[laughs]
Class is dissolved!
[shouts] Deb!
Go now! Go!
But, Mama...
Oh, and be careful for those eye holes.
They say they are not interested in your women's business.
With this foreign pervert, you never know.
Go.
You get this.
[creaking door]
[sniffing]
[scoffs]
ΓÖ¬
So let me understand...
You are found to be a gay teacher and then fired.
Uh, yeah.
Okay, and then sent to jail?
No no No.
I really returned to school was dragged as Bianca del Rio.
Oh So you are found in drag
and then sent to prison?
No no. I am still teaching there.
The person who fired me was a person who was imprisoned.
Texas, it must be a magical place.
What is winter like?
Bitter and haunting?
Uh, no, it's not haunting. Pretty average.
Oh! Let's drink to Texas, the magical kingdom of heaven.
You know, I never thought about it like that,
but Texas doesn't even sound that bad
compared to Russia.
Ugh
When I think of sad times here in Russia, I say to myself,
ΓÇ £ Katya. At least you don't live in Saudi Arabia. ΓÇ ¥
They have murders, of course,
but think of desert pulls.
Replace your slippage?
That's disgusting.
Well, look on the bright side.
You might be able to make pearls.
Can I have a pearl necklace?
[chuckles]
You know, me-I I'm just curious.
That's like, why are all these posters
from Svetlana's bitch?
Uck! The queen here is obsessed with her.
But isn't he the one who hates all gays?
Yes, but not always.
He was at one time in Moscow biggest, how do you say like, um,
witch wand.
- Fag hag? - Da!
That is a classic story.
Women like gays.
Gay women love.
Women turn their hair red.
Gays talk nonsense at lunch.
Women become Ministers Homosexual Propaganda,
send all gay friends to the Siberian labor camp.
Seduce! That must have been had lunch.
No, this is a bad brunch.
One egg and a piece of toast for a party of twelve.
There are no worse than hungry queens.
Park Gorky is one of them.
He is the only survivor.
What happens to others?
He eats it.
Look at that damn bitch.
How else? survive winter in Siberia?
However, I'm sorry I became emotional.
[sighs] Let me ask you.
Who is this strange man Do you hang out with?
He is a boyfriend?
Girlfriend?
Oh, with Rex?
Oh my God, it's not my boyfriend.
He is around here.
He whistled in a man before.
Oh, that's right he was in the bathroom.
I don't suck dick, but I will put it in my mouth
until the swelling drops.
[giggles, then sighs]
I catch you.
Oh yeah, dad!
Oh!...
Oh wait. You are serious.
You too, tranny.
[scream] Keep your hands away from me.
Oh no! Secret police!
I'm not one of them!
Hold that thought.
[siren blaring]
Oh no! Rice carts!
[shouts]
[inaudible chat]
Nyet!
[bicycle bell rings] Weeee!
Wait! Wait!
you!
[gasping]
[Crowd shouting, shouting]
The whole trip -
I should have known You were behind him!
Eat garbage, sissy pants!
Ah, damn it!
Ahhh! Hey!
[cackles]
[both scream]
Bastard basis!
Mama!
[laughing triumphantly]
Mama!
[panting] So, what you do
to get out of prison, Deborah?
Do you have sex with the warden?
I know that he is your uncle.
Oh, save your insults, Bianca del Richard,
ΓÇÿcause now I'm the person hold the cat
and you are the person skinning his legs.
Wait. Hold.
How strict is what is your Spanx, Deborah?
Does it cut from circulation to your brain?
I mean, what have you done here?
Revenge!
I finally take revenge on Miss Bianca del Rio!
Really queen, revenge?
I am standing here
and the presence of your daughter taken to prison.
Yes, technically it's not part of the plan.
Yes and... now we lose them.
Well, I have you!
Wait, wait.
I don't know the way back to the hotel.
Wait for me
[laughs]
[chatting back and forth]
Do you have an idea how dangerous is Russia?
We shouldn't come here in the first place.
No! You never Should come to Texas.
You bring this yourself, gay boy.
All I want to do is teach.
You are the person who should be
take care of yourself damn business.
You are not supposed to be queer are around children.
Funny coming from you.
Aren't you caught having sex
with a high school student, Miss First?
He looks legal - from the waist down.
You are jealous.
The only person who is dangerous the little boy here is you.
Where is your daughter, Carly? In prison?
He knows there may be a sacrifice.
Besides that, it's worth it
see the prostitute friend from you is locked.
He prefers prostitutes.
Oh yes? Well, you are next, fire sauce.
You better take care of yourself.
Where do you go?
Oh, I got the next room.
Have special rates.
[scoffs]
[telephone buzzing]
This bitch.
The right time.
Sorry it doesn't bother anything.
Rex doesn't answer the phone.
Where is he?
Netflix and other cool?
Upstream and hump?
Amazon and anal?
We are in Russia. Rex is in the Gulag.
Come on, girl. Who is the Gulag?
It's a Russian prison.
They have taken Rex, they have taken Bianca,
and I am in some a scary hotel with Deborah.
He traps me, again.
Well, I think now is not the best time to tell you
that I am not really on a cruise ship, woman.
I am a contestant ΓÇ £ RuPaul Drag Race. Ç ¥
[giggling]
Well, if you've called
I think both of us don't get $ 100,000.
Sister, how dare you say that!
Do you know what I've gone through here, girl?
Save it, Martin Luther Queen.
I'm stuck here.
I have to find the way to get Rex out of jail
and bring us back to America.
And just drag it won't fix it.
Bianca del Rio solved your previous Deborah problem.
Now I know he can do it again.
Listen, if obstacles can be fixed faces like you...
Uh, I'm closing now.
- Good business, Bitch. - Thank you, woman.
Do you see it, girl? They pull a pag. Seduce!
Yes, right. There are always All Stars.
Grumbling!
You know it's not you should be on your cellphone.
Look, I need your help pull together some new looks.
This is an emergency.
That's what I told you on the runway, gay.
Now get it!
Rabbit, achieve that Morocco is strange above your head
and pull me out # 12 wig brunette now.
Are there anyone else here
hear annoying screams sounds that don't want to stop!
La-la-la-la-la-la-la!
We have to help Bianca del Rio.
Oh, whose face looks like a broken pi├▒ata?
I can't believe you will say something like...
- But! - Yes ma'am.
Anything to keep you silent.
Just reach left,
past the gerbil cage, which is open.
Oh! I thought I found Natalee Holloway.
ΓÖ¬
I know you are following me.
[with a Russian accent] Not me. Is a bowl of borscht!
Fresh meat.
More like bread back in the day.
Someone smells fishy... Too suspicious.
They think I'm one of you.
If by one of you, you mean blonde slut, then yes.
Yes, yes.
The guard calls me tranny. He said I have fat slips.
I know you. You are the girl from Richard's school.
Your mother is crazy and a snake bites your breasts.
Do we meet again in Texas?
Oh no. Stephen is made a picture book
for me to read on the way so I will know
who are all the players,
and he is not are you fair, girl.
[giggling] What are they going to do to us here?
Leave us here forever, if they want.
That's not fair.
Welcome to my world,
they now think you are one of us is your world too.
Like that.
Fire us, imprison us, don't text us back -
whatever they want.
I'm sorry. I don't know like this.
Oh, you're from Texas.
I'm sure there are many you don't know.
I am Vickie Leaking.
I run this joint.
What is the fish stick for? the dress?
No, to cut stout bodies the queen wearing Jaclyn Smith
and try to start what they can't solve.
Unfortunately, Rampage is a brand, is not a way of life.
Don't remove me because of that You are above the Wet Seal.
I have a knife in my wig. Let's dance, bitch.
Quiet, Warm Topic!
I only take your temperature.
Thank you for that.
Do you really have a knife on your wig?
Emery board and lipstick.
[chuckles]
I am Carly, by the way.
I'm Rex... And don't worry about him.
He only tests you.
The first night of all tries to see how difficult you are.
Anyone trying to screw you up, you just screw it up again.
Hopefully, my mother will be here right away to get me out.
Same mother who tries to use you
to get revenge on others?
You are not an accomplice; You are the victim.
Do you think so?
I can speak for many queens when I speak
You can't let a bad mother
stay on the road You become extraordinary.
You have a cute face and legs, feet, feet.
[giggling]
I have spent my whole life homosexual hatin ',
but you are very good.
Oh no, baby. I am very bad.
You only see me as a real person for the first time.
That's all we are. We are all just ordinary people.
Except for that bitch. I don't know what it is.
Do you want to play Go Fishy?
Are you smuggling it a deck of cards in your wig too?
Search cavities are not too thorough...
Unfortunately.
[sound collision]
I'm not Jessica Fletcher,
but I know when I'm being followed!
Come on out, Deborah.
How do you know it's me?
I have eyes.
Yes, four eyes!
[both laugh slyly]
Look, Deborah, I will temporarily ignore
your psychotic blend bottom-home homophobia
and lack of southern charm.
Given that we both have
those two people we care about in prison,
I think we should work together to get it out.
Will you do it?
Yes, I will. And I hate you.
I'm sorry. Hatred is a strong word.
What do I want to say do I really hate you.
You don't hate me!
I hate you. I'm a good person.
I follow the teacher from the Bible!
Shhh !!! Shut up! They will hear you.
What? Are police officers still around?
No, rat.
Their screams are like a damn mating call.
Come. Let's go inside.
I really wish I did it a terrible dress
so I can talk to you hag to hag.
I will call you ΓÇ £ meet you next Tuesday, ΓÇ ¥
but that means I ever want to see you again.
Just say, Deborah.
We are in Russia. No one knows what that means.
No, we have a vagina here.
Are women. Women like him, little.
Not big on the hips, but big vagina.
Katya, this is Debora, that I told you.
Evil magicians from the Western Hemisphere!
Oh, fuck you!
I am a good Christian, just like my president.
And I arrived at this State without God is yours -
it smells like a burning cat -
to try to find justice!
Nyet. You are obviously selfish, vindictive cunt, but it doesn't matter.
Look at this place. That is ruined!
They take everything, everyone.
I almost escaped with my life and only a little money.
Do you know what!
Rex never dies hookup application.
He will definitely be detained under the Kremlin in a secret prison
operated by extraordinary Miss Svetlana Zlopasnost.
You think you can bring us in?
Maybe go to mainframe?
I hope, but I've been maximal on sexual assistance
already this fiscal quarter. Does not work.
Then what will we do?
There are secret programs where local prostitutes
try to convert queers to straight,
but even as a Russian prostitute, you two will be stretching. No.
Well, maybe you can give us some disguises.
We must find our way inside.
We can visit as a relative.
Simple simple £Ç £ helloΓÇ ¥ and ΓÇ £ goodbye. Ç ¥
Maybe it works, but we have to go now.
Gorky Park is there. This is past the meal time.
Come on fast!
Come on, Debbie!
tether. Secret police everywhere.
No one will believe this disguise.
I have never felt so beautiful.
Eh... All Russian women look like men.
Who knows the difference?
Now, we only you visit, sister.
Now go to the door on the right. They let you in
Wait, wait, wait. Do you not come with us?
No. Too dangerous for Katya.
If I can't see you, nice to meet you...
and good luck...
You will need it. Bye
Wait, I...
Come on.
When we go inside, I will get
all information from Carly that I can.
Yes, funny comes from you.
You don't even know the difference between
French bread and French braids!
I will take care of it.
you! You fell for this whole scam.
You think you get a prize money
for science fairs in Russia. [chuckles]
I mean to suck it, gay woman! I win!
Can you save it ?! These are the horny rats!
Going away!
ΓÖ¬
Categories are... reality prison prisoners.
This appearance is not ΓÇ £ Jail House RockΓÇ ¥
like giving me ΓÇ £ Folsom Prison Blues. Ç? ¥
Oh, it's not that bad. Maybe it's a little tight.
Strict?
He must get ten lives to kill them.
(Russian Guard) Okay, the playing time is over.
Go back inside.
You have visitors.
You too, tranny.
I am clearly in the middle of something.
Who is this?
That means a woman with a fat donkey.
Oh, that's Bianca.
I don't know him.
I can see you.
(Guard) Nyet!
There is no touch!
I will not touch it.
He is like a vending machine full of STD.
How can you enter here?
Well, of course, I told them I was your younger sister who was much younger.
They are stupid, not blind.
However, where are you All Bianca del Rio?
This is not what I expected.
Don't you remember?
They take Bianca. He goes.
Everything you need is in the suitcase.
You are too worried.
This place is much better from our hotel, by the way.
At least here there is room service.
And what will you do if they send you to Siberia
and make you eat someone to stay alive?
Is she sexy?
Focus!
How do you survive, Carly?
Well, I'll be much better if I'm not
trapped in a Russian prison, thank you.
We must defeat the queer!
You know how important that is.
What you think is Bianca.
You don't even care about what happened to me.
Maybe those who are gay are not too bad, Mama.
I mean when Jacklyn Smith tries to stab me,
Rex is the person who protects me -
more than you have ever done.
The fruit fly?
Yes. I thought you were wrong about them.
No You don't mean that.
That must be the Old Spice talk.
Listen. I don't want you to worry
but we are trying to work on plans
to get you out of here.
I'm not worried.
I have made this prison my bitch.
All queens work for me now,
and the heat keeper give me three meals a day.
He brings you food?
Not exactly.
Now, Bianca and I will get it the two of you get out of here together,
but I have my own plan.
Other plans, Mama?
Yes. Bianca thinks I will help her,
but after you are free,
I will expose for what he is, and no!
He leaves!
You will do it after he helped me out?
That's why we came here.
I will not leave Russia Bianca is locked forever.
[chuckles]
Listen. There must be other ways to enter here.
Do you think I can pass as one of the guards?
Hmm... Origami is more upright than you.
The only other choice is actually
is more suitable for you than for me.
Oh, you mean slut!
Yes. We have straight conversion therapy tomorrow.
I will have sex with a dirty Russian for science.
I can't wait for to hit the bastard. [giggling]
(Guard) No touch!
That's not what happened You said last night.
Time is over.
- See you later, Sis. - Goodbye.
This disguise barely makes us go to the door as a family.
Nobody will believe that we are prostitutes,
not even here in Russia.
We can't just like that leave Carly there.
Prison's doin ' bad things to him.
He is not strong like me.
I know. You can pull the train. [laughs]
Good. I despise you as much as you like,
but I have to get it my child is back.
Okay, alright. I will plan
to get Rex and your cruelty descendants from prison.
If you have the wig now,
I will seize it directly from your head.
Yes, that's it difference between us.
I just captured you have hair from the roots.
[chuckles]
- Yes hungry? - I can eat.
ΓÖ¬
None.
That glue-sniffin doll will end in Siberia...
If Gorky doesn't eat it first.
Well, finally he's ready.
Oh look. It's me in a faggy tie.
Bianca del Rio, what are you doing here?
This is yours 'Come to the moment of Jesus, Richard,
but Jesus is busy, so you get me.
But how can I get Rex out of prison?
Rex can take care of himself.
You love him too much.
He is really an adult baby.
Whatever he can take, he stays his nose or in his mouth.
Or donkey.
Rex is very similar to wig glue, is more flexible than you think.
It has many uses if you put your mind to it.
But how can I get him out of the prison?
Find me.
Your path is a way out.
Eating Chinese food late at night is a big mistake.
Now I'm sleeping in a fortune cookie.
How are Rex like full automatic vending machines with STD?
ΓÇÿ Because when you put three quarters, you get one.
[groans] Get out of my mind.
[laughs, nonsense nonsense]
Dream.
[grunts]
I come with me best insult while sleeping.
Wig glue.
[knock on the door] Dirt!
[tapping on]
[woman snorts, groans]
International overnight delivery for Richard Martinez, huh?
Um, what...?
Hey, hey! What...?
[speaking Russian], bitch!
[scream, laugh]
What does that mean?
I think that ΓÇ £ hallelooΓÇ ¥ is in Russian.
- Yes! - I have a better question.
what's the matter Do you do it in a box?
Dear, expensive flight costs and you know,
some of us don't win ΓΓ £ RuPaul Drag Race. Ç ¥
Ooh, the girls are full of hatred. You will see.
I do not watch reality television.
Well, it turns out it's episode ΓÇ £ FrontlineΓÇ ¥
about human trafficking is much more informative
than I thought it was meant to be.
Well, I'm not sure if it's good or bad.
Whoa, honey, with me, that is always good because...
Say hello to my little friend.
[both scream, laugh]
I love you.
You're old bitch.
Old? Honey, you have to talk to the wig,
because you know there are at least ten years
between me and you.
Well, let me tell you this -
Rex will have ten years jail if we don't issue it,
but I think I have a plan.
Ohhh !!!
Do you have a plan to get me out of this box?
- Come on, girl. Just lean... - Bitch, I know.
Darling, overage fee for weight.
They tried to say me £ 150, bitch.
Ahhh!
ΓÖ¬
Ooh! You look amazing!
Look, I told you... Bianca will fix everything.
Oh, girl, it's just drag, is not a cure for herpes.
No, baby, if you want medicine for herpes,
You leave Rex that isolation cell.
[both laugh]
You know, there is only one more thing we need...
Oh, Deborah!
Bianca del Rio...
when I live and breathe.
Yes, we will fix it later.
We have lots work to do...
to you.
[tasting lips]
ΓÖ¬
I've waited a long time for this makeover.
How do I look?
Well, when I say I want to reset your face,
This is not what I have in mind.
My legs kill me.
How do you fruit run on this heel?
Lifetime ill and suffer.
Hi. You must be Sacha.
I am Bianca del Rio.
[Russian accent] Are you a fancy slut?
I have no money, not for the short.
Uh, no.
We are actually here looking for my friend Mitya.
Dmitriy. He was here yesterday,
and I believe it is the potato.
Not here.
In government work.
Today, I watch potatoes!
What is the problem with potatoes?
There is a line for potatoes.
Hey, calm down, Potato Lady!
Um, Bianca is the germo.
Listen. We need chemicals.
This is a science week, isn't it?
There must be some places around here
we can buy or steal supplies to make chemical reactions.
If you need to work, me too,
how do you say, uh, pimp.
Oh
These girls are here, are not the best.
But the prison is not too picky.
[torn paper]
This place may have what you are looking for.
Thank you.
Come on friends. We have to shop.
We have some bullshit to blow up.
[chuckles]
Secret prisons are under the Kremlin.
We only see the visitor center in front,
which means prisoners are behind.
Okay, this is a crazy plan, even for you.
Oh, shut up.
Now you, you must do it give this
and wait for my signal.
I'm not sure if it's enough to put the Kremlin in orbit,
but that surely will break some walls.
Now, hold it now.
This won't happen go in my hand, right?
No! It's stable until you use a detonator.
Do you carry a detonator?
- It's in my wig. - Good.
Wait a minute.
So they should be hiring ya'll bitches
to seduce gays?
- Yes - Yes
Hmm
Well, what will you do
if they try to make you have sex with Rex?
I will actually bite cyanide capsules in my molar.
You guys, look.
We really like "Charlie's Angels" now.
Do-da-loo, do-da-loo, do-da-loo...
Hey... You are Bosley.
Oh my God. Here. Take this.
This is the rest of the ΓÇÿem. Get ΓÇÿem and leave.
Defeat, queen. Do your work!
Now listen, Debbie.
I know we haven't seen from eye to eye,
because I have seen dogs higher than you,
but you and I really need to work together
to realize this.
You can count on me,
and I don't just say I will work with you now
so I can copy you later.
- What? - What?
ΓÖ¬
- Tits up. - I try.
[knock on the door]
Da?
Hi. We are prostitutes here to fix homo.
Yes, we are here to cure all homosexuals.
Calm down. I got this, Mrs. Teresa.
[booing] We've done worse, but it's not much worse.
Enter inside.
Hmm... It doesn't matter if I do.
[sing-songy] I already told you.
Friend!
We have to go to jail.
I feel the presence I have not felt since...
the last time your hand was was in my ass.
Dropping it.
Don't mind rats. Mice don't mind you.
I really like what you are done with that place.
This is very boring.
That's radiation. We have a leaky pipe. Look at the steps.
[panting] Is that Plutonium?
Oh, that's Uranium-235.
- Very good. - Thank you.
Prisoners today think it's Gatorade.
Homo is stupid.
You are smarter than most prostitutes we get.
- OK. - But it's just as comfortable.
I'm sure you mean bad.
No, comfortable. My mother is a prostitute.
In you go.
- Uh... - Uh, so what should we do?
Fix homo and I pay you one potato each.
One potato, two potatoes, three potatoes...
Nyet!
He seems good.
[whining]
[Russian Accent] Just to get ready.
Then we start.
Now I've been to some curly shit,
but this is weird, even for me.
I can't wait to see the whore you choose for me, though.
I hope he's terrible.
Oh right.
I think there are will be more prostitutes.
I think that's just us.
How does it work?
Well, they caught it tied to that machine
to test their sexual response.
Are you not watching ÇÇ £ Masters of Sex? ΓÇ ¥
Premium cable?
I am a teacher, not a lottery winner.
There are lots of lotteries you don't win.
(Rex) When you are there...
[grunt]
Yes father!
(Rex) Oh... Oh, look at that.
Now listen. They will choose one of us,
hope you,
to go there and squeeze it to see if they can change it.
As soon as he makes an error, he gets out of here, free.
This doesn't make sense.
We are dragging secret Russian prison under the Kremlin
try to change this straight gay slut.
And it's not like you sailed here on a good ship Logic,
what is it?
Buy a woman to drink first.
I will take Old Spice.
- Neat. - We must test you.
Okay, which slut do you want?
Oh, it's like ΓÇ £ Sophie's Choice, ΓÇ ¥
unless I want to be that child who goes to the gas room.
Is that a choice?
I choose for you.
Now listen. I want to help Rex,
but if he chooses me, I don't know whether I can do this.
This will be me.
I'm much more beautiful than you.
You really don't get caught all this homosexuality,
yes, Debbie?
Stop calling me, Debbie!
Rex runs with difficulty.
What you have to do approach him.
He will appear again. You are a very lucky woman.
Good... Show me my hand.
Topnotch! Hands.
Good. Good.
There is no syphilis, but we use it too.
Come on.
You are a very old prostitute. You know what to do.
Here? Right now? In this lighting?
Make this a real strange man or you both die in Siberia.
I think I get potatoes.
Potatoes are for cover.
[sighs in] There must be another way.
Maybe Siberia isn't too bad.
It can. You know you want this.
You want this since the night we met.
I tripped you in the snow bank.
I think you are homeless.
Oh yes? Then why are you trying to kiss me, huh?
That's not a kiss. I give you mouth to mouth.
You don't breathe.
Well, I breathe now.
[panting, snorting]
If I vomit in my mouth,
it won't be good for one of us.
Speaking extra costs! There are no more potatoes.
Kiss! Kiss now!
Wait. Before we do this,
Richard, Richard, something I have to say.
What?
If Deborah is there wear my wig, I will kill you.
Not if this kills me first.
[choking]
There is no response.
Sorry.
I smell cabbage. Does anyone cook cabbage?
Listen. This isn't fun for me too.
Now focus, or I swear to God I will think of you as a Muppet!
Thank you for the dirty talk, but I don't think that will help.
Maybe if you tilt your head a little so I can see the guard.
There is no response. Come on. Again!
Kiss.
I really hope there is cyanide in my molar.
Then both of us can die.
I mean, you know it's sin,
but you are not ready for how dirty.
Definitely boiled cabbage.
Maybe with some radishes?
Is anyone hungry?
- Nothing. - Sorry, I am late.
Rex, look. That is the person from the science week.
I don't think he was funny at that time
and I don't think it will help now.
Oh, I made adjustments.
To be honest, I think he is hotter as Katya.
Wait. What?
Nice to meet you.
How do you miss that? I will think
the feeling of your nerdy will feel tingling.
[whispering] You are a science teacher.
You know what to do.
Everything is fine now.
Listen. If you try to stick your tongue
in my throat again, You will taste my lunch.
[gags]
[panting] Success!
Yay!
Oh yeah! Success!
Yay. Success!
Hey, bring him back to his cell.
Wait! I thought so was released as soon as they recovered!
Girl, please. Look at him.
He needs more care,
but at least you don't go to Siberia.
What about Carly?
Curly? Who is Curly?
Shut up, Debbie!
You have my child, Carly.
He is not one of these flamers. Let him go!
You look after Bianca.
Let me know how this is all played.
I have a man waiting for me.
[bang on the floor]
Oops. Baby makes a boom boom.
What happened here?
Mitya, what have you done?
This prostitute is the queen who lights up
and degenerate homosexuals.
I'm a real woman here, okay?
You can bring it.
Bianca del Rio is what you want.
You think that shoe kills you before;
wait until I get you.
Okay, that's it. Take care!
Bring gay to cell!
I live with Mitya and this prostitute until you come back!
Come on. Come on let's go.
Let's go.
This is amazing. Now both of us will rot
in this full of mice prison together.
You bring this to yourself, fag.
Oh yeah. They might will put us
in cells together with each other.
Don't you like that, Debbie?
Don't call me Debbie !!!! [screaming loudly]
Oh no. That voice. The mice.
(sing-songy) Deb-bie. Deb-bie.
Debbie, Debbie, Debbie. Bzzz!
Stop it! You stop it with your phagic bond,
your clown makeup, one of your evil ones,
and your wallet is full of bees!
You stop calling me Debbie !!!!
Oh no. What is the mating season!
Whoa!
[gun shot]
Little Debbie with her Holly Hobbie's dress.
Little Debbie with addiction to lip gloss.
You stop it!
They call me Little Debbie Snack Cake!
I am the shortest in school!
You are as cruel as them!
You stop teasing me!
[click the gun]
Oh no, no, no, no!
They come, they come.
Oh!
Oh no, they came.
They come to marry my face.
They- they marry my face!
You don't have a key?
Nyet. Maybe if I have a wig,
I can take bobby pins, but I don't have anything.
[gasp] Looks like we're next.
Well, you know, since Debbie is here
and his brother kidnapped me and left me dead in the forest,
I have never left home without this.
I don't have time for this!
I don't have time for you!
Alright! Let's go,
Detainees are kept below.
We have to hurry.
It works perfectly, Deborah.
Wait. What?
Your voice... It carries mice.
I already said we needed it to work together.
They must feed us immediately.
Gorky hungry.
What the hell ?! No, no!
See! They are here.
- Mama, is that you? - Carly!
Oh, I can't go My baby is here in prison.
Look, you guys, I will do it has come out in a short time.
You and Bianca work together
[whispers] Just to get you out of here.
Don't worry He will get what will happen to him.
Mama, don't you learn anything from all this?
Well, I learned I saw quite fierce like a blonde,
and do you know mice have mating season?
[both panting]
It's okay, kid. She is with me.
I told you I can take care of myself.
I hope you will tell me that
before I have to be friends with you.
Excuse me.
You are free to go.
[whispering] Stay below, keep calm.
Carly, you are free!
me.
Now, please help encourage Bianca here.
That's what we do here.
No, Mama. I can not.
- What? - You are right. I am free.
Finally free from you.
No! Carly! What are you doing?
This Flamers turns you against me?
They are just people the same as you and me, Mama,
trying to do the right thing.
But we never tried to do the right thing.
I mean all that hate - and for what?
You can't leave me here.
Sorry, Mama.
You say prison is made new woman from you...
Well, it makes new women come out of me too.
Noooo !!!
I will buy you Bianca. This is not over.
Looks like you are a cat.
You have to do it hold your own feet, bitch.
You haven't seen anything.
As soon as I get out of here, I will come for you, Bianca!
I will come for you!
Oh no.
This is where the horny rats are.
(Rat) Hey...
[shouts] Biancaaaa !!!!
This method. Let's go.
Thank you for everything.
I can't believe you will do that to Debora.
I mean, I won't even do it leave him in the prison cell.
Well, Rex already is okay but good to me.
I mean, it makes me ask
all this about what in the first place.
Maybe we are better together living side by side,
instead of tearing off _ dropping each other.
Bianca tells me about snakes that bite your breasts.
Yes.
I know a doctor who can make new ones,
cream like potatoes mash.
- Yes! - They will mash.
Maybe a little thick, but we do our best.
Good.
Tater tits... Yes.
Let's go!
I will never forget you.
Hey! Wait.
Hi friends. Let's pop this stand pop.
- He doesn't come with us? - Who?
Your new girlfriend.
Oh, that's just a prison.
He knows that.
Besides that, I think my time behind bars
proves I don't need a man to protect me again.
What you need protect you is a bubble wrap.
I've been fine in New York since you left.
I don't need you to worry about me anymore, mother!
But I'm worried about you.
Why do you think that cocaine brick
in your bag will help?
Not that bag... Another bag.
There are two bags, like those under your eyes.
OK. You make me understand that.
See! Is Svetlana Zlopasnost.
We run now!
worsening homosexuals run away!
Come get them!
[LOUD BOOM]
[explosion, boom]
Go!
Go, go, go, go, go!
Ah, sh...!
Come on let's come on.
Perfect time, as usual.
Girl, you know I support you.
It's not because no wants in front of you, but, uh...
[shouts]
Oh!
So that's finally from Svetlana Zlopasnost.
Who will host next season from £Ç £ Homo Hunters? ΓÇ ¥
That's a good show.
DIVING THE WORLD.
Thank you for everything your help, Mitya.
Sorry, we made your club invaded and we blew up your work.
But maybe this means that you can come to America now.
I- if you want, I...
Well, I will like it very much.
Tempting.
I want to know you better.
But there are still many that are successful must be done.
Texas You have given me hope that if we stay and struggle,
we can have Texas too.
Oh, that's the saddest thing...
and the stupidest thing I think I've heard it.
[chuckles]
I understand.
You have to stay and make it a bad situation is better.
I mean, that's the reason
why did I move to Texas in the first place...
and the reason why am I back.
Not only children who need education.
We have made some progress, but there is still more to be done.
True.
I will help. I mean, if you queue can change my mind,
anyone can change.
Oh, eat it.
Come on. Not anyone will eat it, huh?
[all groaning]
It's been three months since now we moved to homo house,
and amazing!
Sometimes I miss the wind
passing cracks on the wall, but...
And now we have central heat.
When I build fire in the middle of the room.
Basement in-in-in-in I have a swing.
Oh, basement. What is a treat!
It's kind of a funny swing in the basement closet.
Not too much with Weee!
Sometimes I climb into a swing.
I hear groans.
I think homo haunted houses, but that is only my Boris.
[chuckles] Da!
I like it.
[chatting, the cheers of the audience]
(Reporter) On International news,
Russia continues to insist
they don't run the secret gay prison under the Kremlin,
and the explosion last month in downtown Moscow
only a gas leak.
But that word dozens of gays people have been arrested
and jailed in Russia has sparked anger and protest
around the world.
Personally, I support gay the right to wear this outfit
Roger tells me I look great...
but I'm pretty sure he is fair wears me as Barb
from £ £ Stranger Things. Ç ¥
Yes. Justice for Barb.
That is what is meant.
NEWS: This turns off and it can be in your wallet now.
What is that?
You will know in the next hour.
Rex, no.
Rex, no! Rex!
If you don't bring your butt...
Wooo! Rex!
[telephone ring]
[no sound]
Ow!
Marker.
Get it from my face. I am trying to appear.
I feel like a damn roach.
Here, like, I'm a crab?
[tasting lips]
Mother [BIP]!
[chuckles] You can't do this to me.
I speak with a stick.
How will you get Bianca to go to Russia?
Oh, easy.
[laughs]
I sent him a letter saying ' he won a teaching award, right?
Only he must go to Russia to get it.
[both laugh]
Good. Get, Dratch.
[laughs] You bastard.
He just made me kiss. It's really a jerk.
You are found to be a gay man in the asshole of the teacher making love.
Sorry.
That's him there in the bathroom.
Oh, I want to fuck you. [laughs]
Good. ΓÇÿ Because you know what?
You will speak Spanish into my shell hole tonight, baby.
Ahhh !!!
Damn you, Debbie!
I will do this.
Explosion. Ah.
Lock him! Email!
[laughs]
Oh, God, it's there, right?
That looks at me. No. Okay.
Oh my God. I heard it click.
Good. [gasps] Jesus.
Good. [chuckles]
This can be our big breakthrough.
[panting, shouting]
It's four o'clock in the morning and you're in an old police station.
I- This improves. Getting better.
Oh, you don't like gay? or clown?
Shut up.
Well, I think I found Natalee Holloway.
Oh no. That Rachel Dolezal disguised as... [grunts]
Sorry.
This whore is the drag flamin queen
and degenerate homosexuals!
[laughter]
Yes and yes.
This courtesan...
[all laughs]
Have special rates.
OK, let's restart.
- Line? - This is belching.
Okay sorry. It sucked.
Come on.
Secret police are everywhere. We must be careful.
The old skin, dear, they must be really good.
Love you, pussy.
It's still prettier from your bastard.
I sent it... [giggling]
I sent him a letter saying... [giggling]
- Oh, don't look at me. - I do not see you.
Let me do this correctly.
They will hire ya'll
prostitutes to get there and seduce gays?
[laughs]
Oh wait. Let me do this correctly.
So they will do it hire a prostitute ya'll...
[laughs]
Del Motto...
Oop, oh, he locked it up.
Sorry, I'm just...
Katya destroys the entire film.
Hey, yes, we are in Russia. Its over there.
And cut.
- Real. - This is a wound.
- Good work. - Good job.
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