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And the wrong way to be single.
And then there is this man.
Good morning.
Hi. Do you want me to be your "Handjob"?
We are all embarrassed to admit that we are single.
and try to pretend that we are not single.
We need you in Room 3.
We should always be cheerful.
and happy.
What?
But why should we be ashamed?
We can live freely, marry later affairs.
and always go to parties.
before us, really end it.
So why do we have to have a partner?
Where do you want to go?
Oh, I don't want to go home.
Will not.
Damn!
Gosh. Oh, my God!
This is it. Oh, God, oh, God.
I've covered you. Everything is fine.
How can I be wrong...
I'm Josh.
I'm Alice.
This story is not about relationships.
It's about the story of everyone.
when possible, maybe, our lives are going on.
This is not broken. understand?
We only split temporarily.
temporary. Like,... like breaking up.
Bullshit!
Josh, I'm used to being alone.
I leave my parents.
Then stay in a dormitory, and live with you.
But we are happy, right, Alice?
Really? / Yes.
Or are we bored?
I'm not bored. I am happy.
I say that I will do many things all the time.
and I never did it.
Like, I will learn to cook, or martial arts course.
or I will climb the Grand Canyon.
and I never did it.
That's not my fault.
You say that your shoes, make your feet hurt.
Look, if we really want it to last long.
I have to know who myself.
and I don't want to spend my life by wondering "What's the point of all this?" / That's stupid.
When you walk out of here.
You will realize how important I am.
and how good I am.
and you will really need me.
and you will start following me.
Sad isn't it?
This is the best for both of us. / Yes.
We need to know how it feels to be single, at least once.
Do you fuck with one of my friends?
Or do something that makes me hate you.
Someday this will be useful.
Oh my God.
I will miss your breasts.
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Is it successful here?
Yes! Yes.
Right here, good. Nice.
No, no, no.
Yeah, yeah, good!
Yes. Yes, yes, good. Oh!
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Oh! Oh! Oh!
What are you doing here?
I cook breakfast for you!
No, no need. I don't want breakfast.
Really? / Get out!
You're in my apartment!
Put it.
This is not my apartment.
Sorry.
I might be a little jazzed.
Oh
I might have to, delete my fingerprint.
Last night you were great.
Really? / I don't remember.
Okay, let's do it.
What if I urinate?
I don't want to see it. / Oh, my God.
Do it naturally.
Women have done this, over thousands of years, understand?
Have you done this often?
Well, I've done it about 3,000 times.
Don't you want to have a baby?
You know no?
I just feel that...
Who doesn't let you pursue your dreams.
after you have children.
And I don't want to be like...
I want to eliminate my dreams.
To be a mother, who takes care of a small baby.
Plus, your body also becomes stretchy.
and you don't have time to exercise.
and time to sleep, right?
Oh no, baby! No no no no no no. You can!
No, I don't want to. My body will stretch.
My body is stretchy. That has happened.
And my vagina is so loose!
Let's push! Push.
Yay!
What is dirt or baby?
This is not a baby.
Robin? This is Alice, your new partner.
Please, bring him to work.
Yes, okay.
Thank you.
Hi, I'm Alice.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Yes. Oh, sorry, my hands are a little oily.
Good. OK.
Welcome to the law firm that belongs to several people.
Some other people, and some Jews.
I'm just kidding. They are all Jews.
I'm happy to be here.
This is actually one, my primary choice.
Toilet there, That's good.
To do personal things.
But whatever you do, don't do anything in the photocopy room.
First, it will be a cliché.
Second, there is a security camera.
Oh, now I don't have a relationship with anyone.
because I just...
Uh, yeah, I know what you mean.
It records everything.
Unless you want your sex tape to leak, is part of your plan here.
I suggest you relate in...
You will never know our secrets.
You will never know!
Whoo!
Sorry. That is none of your business.
Because you here are my business.
Look, I just moved upstairs, and Wi-Fiku sucks.
So, even though I have to listen to every drunk bastard
stumbling out of here at 5:00 a.m.,
at least I will use free Internet.
Wow. Okay, hi. Um...
I'm Tom. And... Hey.
If you want to use my free Wi-Fi.
at least you help me.
and don't write like...
"I want to wake up with my best friend."
Unless you want my chest to wrinkle.
Then maybe we can be good friends,
it will be awesome.
Look, I spent half a year ago created an algorithm.
Making a dating application for find the best candidates.
and download it to Excel.
So, I know what I'm looking for.
Yes, that's not strange.
What are you doing online?
I mean, you're a beautiful girl.
And here in New York City.
There are millions of people out there.
Yes, but how many meet criteria?
Here? Okay, there are eight million people in this city.
That sounds a lot, right?
Indeed.
But half the women.
Even though I tried hard in college,
I can't find it.
How hard are you trying it? / Look first.
Good.
So, four million people.
Then you must have an age limit.
Say more than 20. / In accordance with the law.
Under 40. / But still sexy.
Now, this is only one million.
Right. We are talking about one million people.
But half of them are married.
10 percent are gay.
I want someone who is a college graduate.
Not too bad.
So...
This is your girlfriend.
I hope so.
He must be taller than me.
And he must like children.
So, yes, I did it on 10 different dating sites.
Dating site to increase my chances.
So what are you saying?
You allow me to consider this bar like my own living room.
and I will not call the police, Because every night is always noisy.
Good. Very good. Is this the woman?
Hmm.
Thank you.
Mmm. Mmm.
See you later.
Stupid Basics.
Um, have a nice night.
Wait. What? Where do you want to go?
I want to go home.
What?
I don't want you to say that again.
Ugh!
Now you're single, understand? You can't go home!
You don't even have to have a home.
All you have to have is just 500 square feet.
To store clothes and occasional baths.
Well, technically, I'm not, like, single.
We only "rest" temporarily.
Uh, there is no such thing The term "rest," Season-3 Ross.
No, we are indeed resting.
We just split up temporarily.
to ensure that we really want to be together.
Oh, so you're doing some kind of sexual rumspring?
No. / Why didn't you say it?
You can tell me that!
This is my first day at work.
Rumspringa!
What? No! Where are we going?
Ask me rum and Coke, if you feel unsuccessful.
go away!
you wrote on your profile, you're a big dreamer.
You know, come on.
No, no, I think I want what everyone wants.
Removes several types of women.
So what is your type of woman?
Ordinary normal.
Wrigley Field.
Dolphin coach. / Oh, my God.
Oh my God. I like dolphins.
I like it since I was a child.
Wow, no, no. You know, that's normal.
already checked, you know?
Mmm-hmm. Carl is handsome.
Sanchez is bad. Yes, that...
Golden Shower. That one, Oh.
I accidentally chose it.
Thank you, prom.
So this is not a career goal or a purpose in life.
This is something more sexual.
Have you ever heard about Whack-a-Mole?
Rum and Coke.
Rum and Coke? Is it true?
I don't think you want to do it.
Rum and Coke with me on the first date.
Um, rum and Coke? / I have to find a hamster alive.
So, I think I can trap road mice.
I mean, we are in New York.
Rum and Coke! / I have to go shave my legs.
Just drink water!
Oh Good.
Yo.
Go to my room.
Thank you.
We have arrived.
Come on, I teach you how to be single.
Okay, first lesson. Go buy a drink.
Good.
That is just a trick.
You don't have to buy drinks. men who will buy drinks.
That's how they are for acquaintances.
So, they don't have to pay you to get in touch.
So, buy a drink.
Good.
No... don't use a wallet.
Good. / here it is.
Now which of you is buying oil?
Do you know how much it costs.
Hey, how are you all?
I don't know why I said "you guys."
"All of you" should take as much time as possible.
And I'm not even from the South.
I'm from Portland.
South of Canada.
Are you Canadian?
I just did it again, I'm wrong again.
My system is mistaken.
You might misread your information.
I bet that the man tells you who he really is.
You just don't want to hear it.
I tell the truth with women always.
They listen, what they want to hear.
Sounds like nonsense.
I'm not kidding. Look at this.
Hey, baby. Hey.
Hi.
Hey, uh, you know we sleep together just for fun, right?
Because I am not interested with a long term relationship.
so I thought I would start see other people.
and I think you have to move too.
Because I care about you,
and I don't want to see you hurt.
Oh, I care about you too.
Yes.
Wow.
You are well dressed. From the funeral?
Gosh. See you later.
This doesn't stop.
This is stupid. Looks like I have to go home.
It's better. / No, are you kidding me?
You have a small window...
To see the way you've traveled in New York City.
No, Josh and I didn't break up until I could see someone else.
I try to find out who I am.
Then why don't you take this,
go home and watch beavemu?
Look, I'm just will choose for you. yes?
Um... I know.
I want to see your tongue.
on the face of the bartender.
What?
Don't worry, I know him.
He is like an expert. She's an expert in sex.
That person?
Yes. I've heard she's great on the bed.
From myself, because I might have slept with him.
I don't remember.
Maybe, uh... it's winter.
Maybe, I only use his penis, as a scarf. Let's go there.
What?
Hey, Tom.
This is Alice.
He is single and needs to deal with any stranger.
Let me buy a drink. Take it.
Thank you. / Eh, thank you.
Let me pay for it.
Welcome to the party.
Cheers!
Whoo!
Come on! Yes! Ha!
Hi! / Yes!
Hey. / Hi.
Whoa! Whoa!
He just hit on your face!
Oh! Rumspringa!
Wake up!
No.
No, Meg! Ow!
Gosh.
Wake up! get up !
Doctor?
Do I have sex with a doctor? Do we have sex?
No.
No, we don't have sex.
I don't sleep with anyone?
No, I don't think so.
Why does it smell like grass here?
You have that...
What? / It's in your hair.
There.
What? I...
No, I have long eyelashes.
That is... It is sticky in your hair.
Oh
Yay! Free coffee!
Uh, take two Tylenols, and don't forget breakfast.
I love you.
I love you too.
Your roommate is pretty cool.
Oh, he's my brother.
Really?
Uh, so I thought your brother would be angry, Because I threw away the water there.
That's a Zen garden.
cats have a Zen garden?
Not a cat.
Where am I?
I know I have sex in this apartment!
Oh yeah. What is wrong?
Okay, where are we?
A, Broadway and 77. A...
We have to work another 30 minutes.
So, we have to be fast.
Take it easy, I've done this a lot.
Wait, do what? / Let's go.
Wait, do what? / Manage my time!
First step.
This is for babies.
That doesn't matter.
Baba, are we good?
Payment received. Let's go.
Hi!
Yes, hey. I'm really interested.
to buy a lot of your products, but first,
I need you to put it on my face,
in a good way, free.
I need a full face, with the "Wow."
Mimosa, give me orange juice.
Here. Come on. Give it.
Success.
You are three-and-a-half hours late.
Yay! Time for lunch!
And don't worry about your weight.
This will be normal again, after you stop breastfeeding your baby.
"Katie." That's the name.
OK.
Oh no. I have to pee.
The last few days I used to urinate.
You can take care... / No, no, no, no, no.
I can't look after a baby.
Hello. How are you today?
Your mother will be back soon.
What, um, "Katie" stands for "Katherine"?
Look, people will see this.
what you just did and think about when you smile.
But, because I'm a doctor,
I know that it's possible...
Only your tricks.
You know no?
You're not funny,
and I'm not interested.
So, you will continue to love it, but I'm not interested
Shut up, honey.
And, you know no? Don't touch it,
because it's not healthy.
Yes.
The germs can interfere, like small microbes.
that goes into your mouth, and will make you sick.
So don't eat your shoes.
You won't miss. No, it will work.
Why did you put everything in your mouth?
Hello. Hi.
And so we know,
There are many people in this world.
that requires things like you in their lives,
To make his life perfect.
I'm not one of them. No, I'm fine.
OK. You win.
If Tom texted you, don't reply, because it's still noon,
Wait four more hours to reply.
I don't even think about it.
Don't lie!
You need it and you need it.
and unable to avoid that.
All abilities.
I think I can, like...
And, when you respond, don't use full sentences.
OK.
And if you use emojis, I will hit you.
Alright!
No! No! Oh no!
You can take it back later that afternoon.
OK.
Emoji?
This is very stupid. right
Looks like I don't know are you right with me.
Sure.
And I won't be one of the cliche girls.
who thinks I can, like, change you, or something.
No, you can't. / No.
I tell you.
Sex? This is the best way to know what you want.
Think about this, all love, overall,
"I just want a man to meet when I'm cold."
Tell the man...
when you are cold. / This means he...
This means he is pretending, because he knows what you want to hear.
the man is lying.
But I care if you are cold,
I tell everyone the same thing.
"If you're looking for someone, it's not me."
"If you are looking for someone"
"For a little fun, it's not me."
Yes.
I always have a relationship.
But, I think it's only because I...
don't really know how to live single.
Then, you come to the right place.
The trick is to like them, but they leave you.
That way, no one is hurt.
See this.
Do all these things have in common? Come on.
Um, tomato sauce and beer.
Pickles, chocolate sauce.
Are you pregnant?
No, this can't be used for breakfast.
There is no breakfast in the morning,
because you can't make an omelet.
Plus, there is no water. So, make a headache,
You must be able to survive.
Except if New York water is good.
and you can drink directly from the tap.
Yes. But, uh...
Using what?
You have to be creative.
Glass.
All right, MacGyver, no woman has arrived this far, but...
do you tell the plumber to turn off your water?
No, I do it myself.
What if you need to wash your hands?
Am I, a surgeon?
What if you are thirsty?
Good. / Already prepared. / very good.
Do you also think if last night was only one night's love?
You're psychopath.
I'm not a psychopath. most people like me...
Can't say honestly.
I told you, this is what is out there.
Why did you say it?
I don't know.
It's just that, you're different.
Gosh. That's what you often say, To every woman.
Yes it's effective right?
Yes perfect.
We end today.
And this is fun.
See you later.
Hi.
Mimosa?
no, I'm on a trip to a meeting.
So, I might not drink.
Yes, no, I don't want it either I don't want to drink either.
I bought chocolate chip pancakes.
As we usually eat.
Um, good. I don't have a lot of time, so...
Well, then it's not done, I'm just going to order it.
I'm done. I, I'm finally done.
What? What do you mean ?
Our "rest" time.
I know it's very difficult.
Difficult for both of us.
But, I'm finally ready for together again.
And I will never ask anything.
I've been with someone.
O yes... Congratulations.
So, like this, Josh, I just want to know,
tell me when you're done, huh?
I don't know, Alice.
Like, we can... we will wait until you are finished.
This is different, I'm not...
I'm not sure if I want to reverse.
Do you mean, my friend?
I don't need to find out that I love you.
And I'm not stupid.
You, I think, have finished, with everything you want to do.
Together with others.
and how easy are you back to me?
No thanks. Everthing is gone.
Who ordered pancakes?
Meg, I'm not ready to be alone. I'm not ready.
I don't know how are going through this.
I don't even know where it is.
I don't even know what, what happened actually.
I will be alone forever.
At least my body...
Will be useful as food for my cat.
In eight weeks my body was not found, because no one was looking for it.
Why did you watch Bridget Jones?
What do I say?
When it feels beautiful.
I know, but it's a bad idea.
You suddenly follow...
"Sex and the City" and "Bridget Jones".
and think that you have to have a single experience.
Though it's all nonsense.
No. The girls have never looked for a boyfriend.
And this is good.
Because now you can focus on your career.
What? No! I do not want.
That will hurt.
Whoa!
Okay, you've never been single for!
Yes.
You have to go looking...
And collect 200 penis.
And you remember...
the best thing that ever happened to me.
is when I think about quit medical school.
Don't tell stories medical school.
And then, I have a boyfriend the bastard, Bobby,
Having an affair with my lab partner.
because he is willing to do that I don't want to do.
Does it involve midgets?
No.
I've slept with albino.
Anyway, the good news is,
There are now 3,000 beautiful babies in the world...
and no one can take it...
from me... from him.
Why don't you go to one of the alumni events?
Alumni program?
You go, and you meet with people...
and if you really like what you do.
Getting "men" is easy.
No! I don't want to be like you, Meg.
I don't want my job to be my life.
Good. Sisters, time is over.
There are pros and cons among you, understand?
Pro. Young and beautiful.
Pro. Beautiful too, for your age.
Suskses. Doctor. Access to pills.
Cons. There is no access to the pill.
Cons. You're really stingy with pills.
Right.
Pro. Love me unconditionally.
Give me a spare key to the apartment.
Have a nice underwear drawer.
Very neat and organized.
Do you have the keys to my apartment?
Cons. Do not ask personal questions.
Good. I will be back lonely,
Crazy about going to work and returning to the hospital.
Cons. Ugly when sad.
Hey, uh, did you bring sandwich from your own house?
Do you wear pajamas at the bar?
These are sports pants.
I think you want to kick someone else.
You might want to make them "give up" and go home.
Leave me alone.
I like this bar.
Lucy?
Hi!
Oh my God!
Brittany! / Hi!
How are you? / How are you?
I will get married!
He will get married!
This is the best news...
I've ever heard in my life!
Oh, yay!
How old are your children?
No.
I don't have children. I just read it.
But it's not what you think.
Is this more like voluntary?
Oh Oh
Yes. Yes.
So, are you married?
Not yet.
Dating someone?
Uh, it doesn't seem.
Are you divorced?
No, no one has ever loved me.
Who finally divorced me.
You have to join the game, before you can lose, so...
I'm not even a good loser.
Oh, my God, is this a penis straw?
You seem to be going through a crazy night.
Hi.
Hello dear.
This, um...
It's okay, you can say it.
Miss independent here, right?
I'm his girlfriend.
Oh! She's your girlfriend.
This is my boyfriend.
Oh my God, isn't he looking hot in these pants?
Oh, wow, so sweet.
This is Brittany. He will get married soon.
Oh, you want to get married. Wedding!
End of spontaneous sex, traveling alone.
and buy whatever you want without having to ask permission, right?
Marriage!
Congratulations, good luck. I hope so.
Sorry. There are no filters.
Try to hear. I hope, the kiss isn't excessive.
Gosh. No, no, that's great!
Thank you very much! Good night.
Oh
Come on, damn it!
Hey.
Sorry. Is that supposed to be a personal moment?
I can't open my flat.
I apologize for what I said to you.
What?
I say, I'm sorry for what I said to you.
I can't hear you.
I said I apologize for what I said to you!
What?
I will have a baby.
What? / I found a sperm donor.
This person. She's Swedish.
Oh my God. / He doesn't have cancer
Family history, no one has ever used illegal drugs.
There is no history, any mental illness, or...
Oh my God. / I know.
Oh my God.
I know.
Wait. Do you think it's a bad idea?
Why did you say "Oh, my God" five times?
No, but... Wait, when did you meet him?
That's the good news.
I have never, met him, or his family.
There has never been at all.
Never. Is that crazy?
No Oh, my God, you will have a baby.
I know! / You will have a baby!
I am happy too.
You will always be my first baby.
But you have to be an adult.
And you have to move this Friday.
What?
The apartment manager, has found you here.
Is this a bad idea? Do you want a story?
No, you will be the best mother in the world.
Wait. What do you mean?
What did you just say about the apartment manager?
You have to go on Friday.
Not that, you are allowed to receive guests.
Yes. But I am not allowed receive guests.
which slides down through the sewer, while naked.
I didn't do it.
Oh
Robin who did it.
I've seen security records. And it...
I don't know.
this seems a comfortable place,
Are you sure you live here?
Oh, this can be a window for reading.
Reading is for losers.
I don't know. I really like it.
Yeah, but, I mean... Oh!
Wait! No, don't do that!
This is already damaged.
I will take it.
This place is dangerous.
This is perfect.
Don't... Don't...
Is this just broken? / Yes.
Good night.
This is very strange.
Maybe you should leave it there.
Maybe you don't have to shuffle it like that.
What is it, just to urinate.
No, it's not like that. It's not Polaroid.
I will be the best aunt.
I will give the child whatever he wants.
At any time.
Don't be too hopeful, understand?
Because this has not been successful, in the first experiment.
It's too late.
See? I told you.
Are you okay? / Yes.
Oh no, it's always... this is...
This doesn't always work for the first try, as I said.
What?
I usually deal with this sort of thing. You know right.
Do you drink enough water?
Your lips are completely dry, means you are dehydrated.
I will take water for you.
This plum works.
throughout the end of summer, and the beginning of autumn.
Alice!
And this is very beautiful,
This is Italian plum prune.
So, we will make caramel.
with a cup of sugar, and one third of a cup of water.
I will cook it on a fire that is not too lively.
Until caramel and chocolate blend together.
Alice!
Hey. Hey.
My buzzer is broken.
It's like Romeo and Juliet who have lived in New York.
This is not good. Can I ride?
Yes
If you want to make this cake next time.
Hey.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to see you. What is wrong?
Well, when I'm in the bathroom.
I found yours.
so I think you might want it.
I can come pick it up.
That's the problem, so...
that's the reason why I'm here.
So, Michelle stays with me tomorrow.
So... / Wow!
Michelle.
It turns out he has a name too.
He has a name.
Well, technically, he also has a name.
I mean, house rent will go up.
and I live with Craigslist men.
he starts stealing my socks.
That makes sense.
Makes sense. / And we are very happy.
us. You say "us." nice.
So...
So, let me show my house.
this kitchen. This is the dining room.
This is the living room and my work, in the bedroom area.
Do you work using Spanish?
Oh, it's like that since I moved,
I don't know how to fix it.
And now I don't know what the world will be like.
If there is no Spanish.
It's pretty easy, you know, that's...
Alice.
You're very skilled.
Alice.
Michelle is really lucky.
I didn't expect this to happen.
I just...
I have never compared everyone to you.
and then I meet with someone who is pretty good.
I'm happy for you.
Yes, I can see it.
Alice. OK.
I will go.
Good.
You must continue your life.
Good.
Eh, Don't look at the past, Look at the future.
You can't sleep with Tom again.
Then we have to repeat it again...
Come to a different bar.
No, you will be fine,
Don't give him the amount of your drink.
How many drinks do I have?
In every friendship between men and women.
there are a number of drinks.
and if you surpass it, that means you will definitely have sex.
So, how many drinks do I need to make you sick?
Two and a half.
but maybe three, if I eat.
Three.
Okay, and Tom eight.
So you can't touch eleven drinks.
between you two.
Good. Not one for you, 10 for him.
No, six for him, five for you.
If I have more than five drinks.
I have sex with you.
The amount of my drink is 27.
What?
I'm even more than 24.
That...
What are you doing? Stop it.
What is that? / Stop.
Gosh.
I thought it would be hot. But it's cold.
You have LTRP.
Gosh. Is it true ?
Yes
Tom gave it to me.
Wait. What is LTRP?
Long-term Pussy Relationships.
You need to get treatment.
What do you mean? I don't even have feathers.
It's like you dropped your hair brush.
and sticky in your vagina.
I can make "forest" the dreadlocks, and make it a reggae band.
Looks like a bowl of curly fries.
It's like Gandalf looks right at me.
"There won't be a penis that escapes!"
You've messed up my life so much.
Hi.
Hi. Do you have business here?
Um, I just want to come here.
Not the actual way right?
Not only physically, but emotionally.
Yes.
Eh, no, I'm asking if your show is here?
Oh, um...
Gosh.
The Wesleyan Alumni Networking event.
Cool.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry sorry.
Gosh. Gosh.
Oh, God, we...
Hey. Come back to the line.
You screw up the beat.
I'm David Stone, nice to meet you.
Hi. Hey, I'm Alice.
Alice...
Kepley. / Kepley.
This is not as good as "Stone."
Do you want one of my business cards?
Or maybe you can get 400 sheets, so that it floods your bathroom.
What is that?
Um, My Social Security Number,
My mother's maiden name, my ATM PIN.
That's what happened to him, right?
Really, that's very important.
What are you doing?
Um, I'm a paralegal.
Yes. Brown, Light and Finkelstein.
What is on Wall Street 144? / Yes.
Yes, I have a building next to it.
Do you "have" a building?
Like, in Fantasy Building League?
Eh, no. Um, I don't "have" the building,
I almost have it.
There is no way to make the correct sound.
I'm a developer, I'm not alone.
It's like a group of people, but...
It's like real estate work. / Yes, I know, that's pretty good.
Oh, your team.
It's a boring song.
Are you kidding me? This is my favorite song! / Is it true ?
Yes, this is my top 13 favorite song of all time.
Oh, I'm sorry, it's my daughter.
Oh yes, no, Me too.
I mean, a princess.
Nice to meet you.
See you later. Yes.
OK, 30 seconds left.
Twenty-seven.
Doesn't it take three to 10 minutes, right?
I do this in the form of solidarity.
Everything. I'm positive.
What? / What?
Wait.
I took a drug test. Isn't that what you are doing?
No
I...
You are pregnant.
I am pregnant.
It's okay, don't worry. We will take care of it.
I mean, "Yes!"
You're pregnant!
We are pregnant!
I'm not pregnant!
I'm a drug user!
I found my partner! This is Paul.
Hey.
The teeth are very good!
Alright, damn office? It's time for Santa's secret!
Who is ready to reach the half of my magic.
and win the prize yourself?
Doris, you're the first, honey.
Whoa! This is a hole-puncher!
You win Kathy's credit card.
Let's do it, dance by making circles!
Bridget, come here, Basic slut!
How many sliders do I need to make burgers?
What?
How many small burgers do I need to make a burger?
You're crazy.
Don't call me crazy.
Never call crazy pregnant women.
understand? / OK. / Never ever.
Good.
How much small meat to make big meat?
I don't know, maybe four?
I use seven.
Eight. I mean eight.
What are four or eight?
It's eight, or more. Everybody knows that.
Who said that?
Slider People.
Please blink, Let me know you're alive.
I'm sorry. / Oh, my God.
I have to pump blood through my body.
in an uncomfortable way.
and it feels like are all here.
Don't touch your stomach like that in my workplace.
I need a man.
A man?
I don't know... I don't know what happened.
These, like, hormones.
Actually, there is a man watching you.
Which one? / He...
Do you see it? / No.
OK. He is like...
Right there.
No. / Why?
Because he is too young.
All young people want to do is having sex all day long.
I can only 10 minutes,
and then take a nap which is very long.
How old is the Niblet?
Maybe, twenty seven?
The reason people like that want to talk to me...
is to get medical marijuana recipes.
So, no need.
I think he came. / Yes, he really wants that.
Wait, he might want to eat.
Don't look there. No, he came.
He's here.
I just saw you looking at me from there.
I think I want to come here, says "What's wrong."
Oh my God, I misunderstood, huh?
Are you not... You just talked about...
Um, don't you want me to come here?
Hey, I'm Ken.
Hmm. You must be Alice's sister.
Do you want to drink? / No.
I've been a lot...
I've had a lot of drinks today.
Have you ever heard of something about after-party?
Or even, like, other parts of this party?
Because this feels like day at work.
Oh God, I bored you huh?
What is that... Do you hold you yawn?
Is your face like that?
No, I'm sorry. I'm a doctor, and I'm really tired.
What did you say before?
Nothing, I only work here, for now.
But, um...
Oh God, are you having a stroke?
Seriously, this is a honeymoon.
Like, we only met 30 seconds ago.
Honest, like, if we don't want to make it through this,
I don't think at all we will make it.
So why don't you, release it?
Alright, just release it.
Yes.
That's so cool.
It feels relief.
Really?
What is your name?
I, uh, Ken.
And what happens here?
what is this... I'm not...
Is this one talisman?
Where are you, like, foot fetish. I'm in the leg?
Do you want to be a foot?
I don't want to be a leg, but I want to go with you.
Yes. / Why?
Really? I... don't you want to be with me?
Yes! I... It doesn't know what I'm saying. No, I just want to know why.
Because I think you're hot.
And I think you're funny.
And I like your face when you try not to yawn.
Then you yawn amazingly after that, so...
I mean, it's always something I look for in a girl.
I don't know.
But, toast!
Damn, this is a candle.
So, do you want to do that?
I don't want something serious.
Good, because I'm being prepared to get married.
I'm just kidding.
Oh my God, your body is awesome!
Do I like hamburgers?
Your race is like a hamburger.
Very awesome!
You don't have to come all the way here with me, right?
Take the subway with you?
It was like an additional 20 minutes Paul.
Aw. thanks. Yes.
Actually, I have something.
Oh well.
I have a sandwich for your lunch on the train.
Oh thank you. / And there is a bagel cake here, too,
if you don't want to eat sandwiches.
this trip is only 45 minutes, but thank you.
And this too. / What?
Merry Christmas.
You don't have to do it.
It's okay it's just a small thing.
Oh Open now, huh.
Whoa! This is our photo.
It's a memory of our time together.
Yes, this is our memory for three weeks.
And then we can fill the rest.
Oh, so...
Look, Lucy, I... I really care about you.
And I don't know if we want to think about long-term relationships.
it's just that I don't know whether I see the future with you.
Usually, I break with people before vacation,
Just like that, you know, That is not a bad thing.
But I think, because we are dating someone else,
I will just wait and break with you on the anniversary of "Martin Luther King".
Okay, I don't know what that means, but it sounds racist.
It's just statistically, This is the easiest vacation.
To break up with someone, right?
I mean, there's no family obligation,
You can leave before Valentine's Day.
Sorry, did you just say that you met someone else?
Yes.
Isn't that the purpose of online dating?
No.
That is to find your soul mate!
I think maybe we have to find someone else.
OK. happy to talk with you.
Goodbye.
Um, Merry Christmas.
"'We are safe!' Paul said, when they ran from the dragon. "
Um, who is Paul?
Sorry, "Prince."
"Then, he bent to kiss him, and finally said..."
Oh, damn it!
How is the story finally?
I will tell you what is the end.
He kisses him, and he wakes up and finally feels loved,
and understood, and desired.
But then, his friend sees he eats with a bitch.
and before he realized it, he was dumped from...
Castle.
"Bitch"?
You risk everything "bitch."
And now, you know, he lamented all his mistakes
and all the money is spent on make up.
and blow his hair, and his shoes!
Shoes! For a walk.
And I'm not supposed to have hair here.
There is no hair here, but that one ton here.
I should have tons, one ton here.
Do you think it's all real?
Do you think everything is real? / No.
and Spanx!
Everything. Never use Spanx.
Because finally will damage your body.
and then the prince will see all your shortcomings.
That won't be interesting anymore.
rather than trying to bend your way.
from something basically sausage packaging.
Look at this link!
You know, we have to rest.
when telling a story, right?
Okay, you know no? / Sorry.
Are you kidding me? / Hey, hey. OK.
This must be scissors. This is useless.
Unless your Spanx is made of construction paper.
And that's the end of the story.
parents, I ask you sign something.
Before you leave, if you don't mind.
Story time next week.
Same time, same place, different readers.
Thank you. Okay, now. Hey, you. Hey. How are you?
Look at me. Hi. Hello. Hey.
Oh, that was terrible.
You frighten children and also their parents.
But that's also something amazing.
I'm George.
Lucy.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Hey!
Hey! Why, thank you.
For you. / I will accept it.
Oh no. / This is Robin.
Yes. I want to save it myself.
Sorry, we're late.
It's okay. I'm glad you can come.
I know it's difficult to be single at the end of the year. this, so...
Why do people always say it? Holidays at holidays are the best for singles.
Party every night, free to drink liquor.
Mmm-hmm. Santa's beard tickles intimate parts.
What? / Good night.
Yes, take your jacket...
Here, you want me to get...
Thank you.
Yes, of course. I know it's hard for you.
For me? / Yes.
I'm fine.
Your cool girlfriend is fine with my arrival tonight?
Yes. Yes, I know, he is an adult.
And, um, I said you were my cousin.
Hello dear. / Hey. Hi.
Oh, you must be Alice.
Hi! / Hi.
Oh, Meg!
Hi. / Hey.
Hi, what are you doing here?
I brought you hot chocolate.
For what?
To drink.
Oh, I have to go back to work soon.
OK.
Oh thank you. / Certain.
That's good. Hi.
Nice to meet you. You look better.
Oh, oh, there's bourbon in it.
Does that surprise you?
I've never seen someone like that before.
I just thought he would be like...
Do you understand?
Yes.
That's good, huh.
I can't drink alcohol now.
Because a doctor gave birth.
Doctors are really cool.
You're cool too...
Receptionist.
Oh well. So, you're the male version receptionist?
Receptionist.
Oh, I like the sensation, you know?
Like, "Hello? Please wait a minute." Hello? I will see if there is still one? "
But I want to stop. I don't know.
I feel like I'm working in a restaurant.
Good. I mean, I don't want a Christmas tree, but...
Oh, are you Jewish? / No, I just don't want to buy a Christmas tree.
Oh, so, you're a monster.
No, I never go home, and it's useless.
No.
They are like needles falling into the carpet.
and stab your feet when you walk.
Okey.
OK. we see this?
This is the John McClane Christmas tree.
Like, you can't kill this person.
We load it with some water,
One of us pour a bottle of paint next to it,
You're good to go for, like, three weeks.
I said, you will beg this dead person.
Yes. Then, in three weeks
We throw this person out on the road,
Welcoming for Valentine's Day.
"we" get ready to welcome Valentine's Day?
Yes, heart, candy, what is that.
Oh no, no, no, no. this is not...
Listen, three weeks from now,
I think all this will disappear.
and I think, reality will happen, that is that I work all the time.
Maybe I will never see you,
Maybe I should cancel all our dates.
And, when I finally see you,
Maybe you will be with another woman.
Oh... Yes, and then,
You will go, and meet some girls in the gym.
Because you obviously have a lot of time to be in the gym.
and so does it, and
I don't even know why we talk about this.
I mean, you obviously don't suit me.
and I feel we are wasting time, talking about the problem.
And I have hip problems, serious hip problems.
and can't do fun things,
like having sex, but from gravity.
And what we do is amazing.
Thank you for helping me out of the problem.
It was really fun.
But you will find a girl of your age.
Then you can do fun things.
like looking for trees and others...
But here is not what happened, between you and me, so...
As long as you know.
I have to go back to work now.
Oh my God.
Okay, we won't buy a Christmas tree!
Are you okay? Are you happy? / I am fine.
You do well. This is an amazing party.
You're very beautiful.
Hey, Robin.
Yes.
Oh Yes?
Do you want to go see a Rockefeller tree?
Now? / Yes.
No, Buzz-Cut and Dimples come from Italy,
and they want to know all Christmas traditions in America.
as we sit on their faces.
No. / Come on, it's Christmas!
I won't do it tonight.
Why? their penis may look like cannolis.
It's okay. I'll call you tomorrow.
It's plastic. You can't throw it away.
Visit www.Markasjudi.cc
Hey.
Looks like I know you.
Gosh, I wish I had one of your business cards,
So I can remember who you are.
Yes, you, um, the man who married.
With a child and a building.
Eh, I'm not married yet.
But I have a daughter.
And you understand. / Yes.
You wear a scarf outside your jacket.
Like aimless.
Eh, this is really unexpected, but are you...
want to go see, Rockefeller tree with me?
No? definitely "no."
No, no.
I know there might be so crowded with many visitors,
I don't know why I even want to do it.
I just... I think, I want to show you something.
OK.
OK. Through this way.
Yes.
Do you know? I just realized it now.
That I go with strangers.
To a location that I don't know, is covered with plastic.
So if you want to kill me.
You know no? Just be honest?
Dying will not be the worst thing in the world, now.
What happened? OK. / Close your eyes.
OK. here it is, goodbye.
What is that sound? / Wait a minute.
The biggest shower curtain in the world?
What is that? What happened?
Wait a minute.
Is this a body bag?
What is duct tape?
What is a duck ribbon or is it a duck recording?
Um, open your eyes.
Gosh.
This is amazing.
Thank you.
I always want to see it.
Yes.
I don't know why I always speak for myself
doing things that I really want to do.
What is it like?
There is something that people do in the New Year,
They climb the Grand Canyon in the dark.
So they can see, the New Year comes in the morning.
Sounds amazing.
I know. / Yes.
I'm not a rock climber.
I don't like doing that, as you have.
Dirty? / Yes.
But, um, I don't know.
Maybe we can, um, do something else this year.
"we"? / do I say "we"?
Its name is Ping-Ping.
Ping-ping?
Nice to meet you.
Which one is this?
Lion.
The lion is very handsome and, also, we seem to fit.
Well, what is this?
Zebra Zebra.
I was told not to believe a man with two names.
How do you want to tell me the names of these people?
This is LA. I'll be out for a while.
Well, we will be fine.
Do you know the song "Your Eyes"?
What song?
Song "Your Eyes".
No, I don't know.
Oh, I know that song.
♪ I love you baby And if it is it's quite all right ♪
What are you doing?
We only sing a song.
but the sound is better than my voice.
I can talk to you for a while?
Yes, yes.
Uh, what are you doing?
What do you mean?
You're not his mother.
What are you... what are you...
What do you mean?
We just sing, David.
Listen, I'm sorry, but when it comes to Phoebe,
I became very protective.
And, you can't...
Look, I'm very sorry.
I don't know at all.
I'm not trying to, like...
I guess I don't know if you will scold me
Because you never really
share anything with me.
Do you know how I know your wife died?
From your doorman, David.
Yes, fine.
I thought you were divorced. I do not know.
It's only been two years, understand?
Phoebe isn't ready for all that.
I don't know how feels like being a parent.
But, I think you should tell Phoebe about his mother.
Listen, Alice.
I can't do it.
I'm sorry.
I know I shouldn't, need you again, but...
I need you.
Come here.
I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore.
No problem.
I have to warn you, I sometimes fart weird.
I don't know what I am, or baby farts through me, or what, but...
Let me see.
Hi, you're a smelly little baby.
You know you won't be able to hide longer.
You need to tell him.
I love you, monkey.
I love you.
Hey, Happy Alcoholic Day.
Well, let me guess.
You're one of those people hating the buzzkills parade that stays at home While the rest here,
Celebrating Saint Patrick's Day.
Don't you know what? I participated.
George is the eighth Irish.
Do you think he would like it? Look, yeah...
Yes.
Who is George?
Lucy. Hey!
Oh, that's it!
Is that George?
Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
Yes!
Hi. / Hi.
Long time no see.
Yes.
Are you here with someone?
Oh no. I, me, I'm alone.
I thought I'd take some pancakes,
Because I like pancakes. / This is our favorite place.
OK.
What are you doing? Who are you here?
I came here with my parents.
Gosh. They are here.
See who this is. Alice!
Hey! How are you? / Oh, my God.
We are here to celebrate.
How are you? Glad to see you. / Hi.
Josh goes to business school.
What? / Yes. I succeeded.
That's what happened. This is crazy.
I don't even know you want...
We will only take pictures.
Come on, come here. Oh
We will only take pictures.
Come on, come on, come here.
Squeeze. / No, no, no!
Time to take a photo. One two...
No, you have to be seen.
Three!
You are better than him.
Wow. What?
What? Mother!
Enter into.
I know you have said one million times.
OK. Here you go. Come in,
Then go home. See you again.
See you later. Good.
See you later.
Nice to meet you.
Yes.
Good. Yes.
Don't eat my pancakes, man.
Oh sorry.
do you want... Yes, let's...
I will see you again.
Good. / Good.
See you later.
What is this?
Are you pregnant?
What?
I've tried to have a baby. Yes.
I... This might won't even stick.
Yes, I think he's stuck.
Okay, I don't know how that sounds
but, if you haven't seen,
my breasts become much bigger.
Yes, of course I see your breasts are getting bigger.
I put it on my vision board, okay?
I think it's because of me.
Who did it?
I am the person! People like me, visionaries!
Don't you realize that I'm fat?
That's a trick question. You're not fat.
You're beautiful, you're always beautiful.
and you are doing well.
Do you think so?
Why have you tried to avoid me lately?
Gosh.
I think I will...
I will become a father!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Sorry, we will have a baby!
We will become... Not "father." We will...
No, it's not.
Like, you don't... It's not...
Is this not my child?
I'm just pregnant.
What do you mean, you're "only pregnant"?
That's crazy. How could it be?
What? I said, you're crazy.
You have lied to me all the time.
We are together then you are pregnant.
And now you're angry with me because I believe that?
That's what is done crazy people aren't.
That's three times.
Say again.
I don't know. This is crazy for me.
I just want to say something.
Usually, it's a good idea
Don't call crazy pregnant women.
Do you know what I mean?
He deceives everyone.
That's not funny!
Oh, sh... Oh, God!
Not funny!
Chase it!
Who is his father?
I don't know! I do not know.
How do you not know?
Stop yelling at me.
How can you not know?
Don't you know the name?
I did insemination with a sperm donor.
Gosh. / understand?
Do you have a problem?
I have no problem with that. This is your body.
Do whatever you want with your body.
Cover it in a tattoo. I do not care.
I think I deserve to know when there is someone
living in a person with whom I have sex.
Don't say iyu. That's disgusting!
There is nothing dirty about it. It is beautiful!
This is not your problem. / Not genetically, understand?
But my boyfriend has a baby.
Honey, we will make this , like,
This is something I need to know.
What will you do? Stay at home and take care of the baby?
Have I just won a lottery?
Yes, I want to stay at home and take care of the baby.
When I was eight years old, my Halloween costume was a father who lived at home.
You say that I don't have to go to work anymore.
I can be together, with babies all day long?
Stop saying the word "baby."
Babies, babies, babies, babies, babies! Because babies are amazing!
Okay, listen.
You and me, we might be having fun together.
Then one day, we will be on the road on this trip together.
And I will drive, then I'm tired
and I don't like doing it,
but I will agree to let you drive.
Then I will feel very safe,
and that's when we will crack.
You think you can control everything, but you can't.
That's not how this works.
If I can choose someone to do it, it is you.
You can choose!
Then I'm not the only one in the car.
Yes.
Well, for the record, is not me who left you.
But you dumped me.
Father? / Yes dear?
I want to hear the song "your eyes".
Sing to me.
Not tonight, baby. understand?
Sleep.
If Josh and I could get married now.
Then we will have, like, cute little baby daughter.
and he might be called "fruit".
What kind of name is "George,"? Right?
I hate her hair.
Actually, technically, we will have a daughter in four years,
and his name is Rihanna.
What? we haven't known each other For four years.
No, not you. Josh.
Oh, right, yes.
But, exactly. It's the same thing as me and Lucy.
It's like, if I go to work, and he's not there, I'm like crazy or something.
Yes. Because he's not sick of you.
I understand. I don't know where I can find another like him.
Yes. I also do not know.
Maybe we just made the wrong step.
Maybe, all this time, we have focused on something wrong
and now it's all too late.
For something wrong.
Here it is. We can't pass "eleven."
What are you talking about?
Number of our drinks.
In every friendship between men and women, there are a number of drinks,
and if you mathematically pass, you have to have sex.
Whatever.
Oi. Sorry. makes it noisy.
Wha... where is that from?
Uh, floor.
One two three. That's three.
Four five six.
Seven.
Eight nine.
This is still ten. It's still ten.
Eleven. Do you drink this?
No.
Oh, thank God.
You are the one who drank it.
This might be an error.
This is just a bad idea.
Yes, I'm sorry. I tried to forget Lucy from my mind.
Yes, look. Usually, I will feel angry.
But I only do the same thing with you.
Right, yes.
Damn. I think I like it.
Like, when we are together,
I feel like me, but, like, I get better.
Look, it's a miracle. That's what I have to find.
Yes.
I can go out alone.
Visit www.Markasjudi.cc
Cheers!
Whoa!
Alice! Happy Birthday!
Hi!
Thank you. What is that? Give it to me.
Um, this is actually for Meg.
I've made it specifically for him.
That's so sweet. Look at how comfortable it is. Oh
Maybe I will give it to him. But someday.
Hey!
There is no Tom, There is no Josh,
I have a really exciting time.
and I won't think about any man.
This is for no drama.
Without drama.
Happy birthday!
Thank you guys.
I will show. Through this way.
Oh my God.
Icky Stimpkins!
Josh! What is wrong?
Wow, I haven't seen you since college!
I'm just taking a walk.
I have to go drink, but I will see you later.
Okay, cool. Yes, man.
I'm looking for Alice.
We get all "No caps"
But, uh, you look like a good person, and, you know...
Hey. How is everyone ?
Hey. Hey. Josh.
Are you Josh?
What do you mean?
No, nothing. I'm just surprised.
Wait, how do you know Alice?
How do you know Alice?
Oh, shit.
This is Josh.
I see.
What? are you new friends, or...
Gosh.
Come here.
Um, Tom here, and David, and Josh.
And David. Did I say David?
Yes, I know, because I invited them.
You're welcome.
Why? Why did you do that?
Because I think this will be funny. For me.
And good for you emotionally, Have people fighting over you.
Hey. / Hey.
What are you doing here? / How are you?
Good enough. Uh, I need to talk to you about something.
Good. I also.
You first.
I will get married.
What?
That, uh...
Listen, computer programs are nonsense.
Your algorithm? Also, nonsense, understand?
Just because music stops, doesn't mean you have to sit on the nearest seat.
You don't have to be with George.
You must be with me.
Yes. I want to be with you.
What?
Oh my God, every bad date happens at the bar.
There is someone who is always there.
you.
me.
Yes. Gosh. / Is it true?
We can live happily together.
And, I mean, we will get married soon.
because we might want to have a family soon.
Oh my God. Our children.
Our children will be very funny.
Right.
That is why we like brake pumps.
and not in a hurry, you know?
Come on... Let's take care of it now.
Oh God, Tom.
I'm just kidding.
Thank you. Gosh.
I don't want to be with you.
And you don't want me, right.
Wait. / Dear!
Gosh. I see everything.
I think you will hyperventilate, man.
But I don't!
Oh, Tom.
Come on. Do not be sad.
Do you know what this is?
First, these are small green shoots alive
Fight the way out from your heart pebble parking lot.
So, congratulations.
That's beautiful.
Thank you, honey.
Oh, wait a minute.
Hey, man, I'm just saying.
Stay away from my girl, okay, man?
Or I will get you soon.
Good. OK. / understand?
So, stay away. Understand?
Yes. Because I've given him a ring.
and you won't succeed with just your penman.
Baikah. / You are a jerk, man.
Cool, okay. No, of course.
Lucy loves you, I like you.
We are brothers, now, okay?
So, I want to...
This is great...
Asking you to be My best friend.
Yes, you understand.
Of course not, man!
Of course, you can't be the best human.
You're a stranger to me.
Good? / Yes.
I want to say this again, stay away from my lover.
I don't want you to be my accomplice.
We still love you, you're our family.
You will definitely be invited to the wedding party.
Maybe...
But maybe not. So, don't be offended.
I'm glad we talked this, man.
Whoo!
Uh...
Are you trying to hide from me?
Are you hiding from me? / Hi. Hah? Hi.
I don't see you, it's here.
This is a good hiding place.
Uh, listen.
I've thought a lot about you.
Look, David, I'm sorry, I...
I can't do this.
You make it so clear to me, that you don't want to, so...
Not for that I came here.
I came here just to apologize to you.
Because it's been a bastard.
Oh
Yes.
Well, you're right about Phoebe.
Oh good. Have you talked to him?
Well, um, you know, I'm trying.
But, uh, are you okay?
I'm trying.
Happy birthday.
See? I said this would be nice.
Although, my plans made them fight unsuccessfully.
and that doesn't happen.
Robin, this is not a joke. This is my life.
But you know no? I don't think you will understand it,
Because you never really cared.
About who is injured.
So, this kind of thing doesn't affect you.
Good. Sorry I invited them,
but who cares about me?
I care, because you are my friend!
Really? Because as far as I know,
You are only friends with me when you feel wasted,
and need someone to entertain you.
You just want to be friends with me
when you need me become your little sidekick.
The reason why I'm not friends with you when you are in a relationship,
is because you only turn into human back cells.
Good.
Yes, you want some advice?
Yes, what?
You won't find the right man.
By bumming free drinks and by giving your body.
Where do you know?
So far, you've been like that,
"Oh, yes, party and penis, and squirt.
" Let's spurt to, our entire body. "
" Do it right, bitch! "
It's about me being sick because of you.
meet people and drop their sandy penis.
Fall to what they are?
their sandy penis.
It's like, every time a new man looks at you,
You keep forgetting who you , and,
like... "Oh!"
You're stuck in their world.
At least when I decide I want a boyfriend,
I will find someone who likes me as I am.
Because I know who this damn is.
Hey.
Gosh.
Happy birthday.
It's your birthday!
And I drink some of your gifts.
Are you okay?
No, No
Oh my God, you look beautiful when you're angry.
I miss him.
What do we do? / We will have sex.
Sure.
Yes, Tuahn. / What?
So, since I saw you, I feel my heart is messed up.
I should not let you go.
Because Michelle and I are still together,
and we are really involved.
I feel like we are making love. / What? What?
We will get married, but I don't know what I don't want to do.
Gosh!
Wait! I'm just saying... / Oh, my God.
Gosh. / Come here, come here.
I just cheated on someone else's fiance.
No, it's not cheating, because we've been together.
What are you doing? / Wait,...
You said you missed me!
Yes I miss you all this time.
I see you and you're so beautiful, and you're so pretty.
And I just need a closure.
I think we need... what is this one...
Is this closing for you? / Yes.
Only the last action to remember the past,
Before you go and settle with other people?
That's not...
Sorry, okay?
Uh, Alice.
No, you know no?
I should have asked for forgiveness. This is my fault.
I spend so much time just want you back.
So when I think that you want me to come back,
It feels like I lost my mind for the second time.
Gosh. This is it! This is a sandy penis.
Now I fall into your sandy penis.
What?
It's like quicksand, but with a penis.
I don't have a sandy penis.
I'm so obsessed with with the idea of falling in love,
It feels like I really lost myself.
Like, I forgot what I wanted and I just forgot it.
I'm like a horse in Neverending Story.
I feel something is coming out of your mind.
Josh. I want to be alone.
I know if I often say it.
But, for the first time in my life,
I really, really appreciate it.
Congratulations on your engagement.
Where do you want to go?
go home.
I want to go home.
Madam! I don't know where you live.
Oh, I'm sorry. Um, can you say it to Second south and Berry?
Gosh!
Robin? Gosh!
Gosh! Are you okay?
Take us to the hospital, and I won't sue you!
What happened? / We have to go.
Hey!
Oh my God!
Oh, my God, what happened?
No no No. It's fine, this is fine, it's fine.
Gosh! No, that's fine!
I've held it.
The average labor force for a new mother is 26 hours.
It doesn't just pop out like a TV. This will be fine.
Good.
Oh my God!
Oh my God, is everything okay?
call a taxi. / Good!
I will get it.
Ooh!
Take us to the hospital and I won't sue you!
This is bad.
Alright okay.
Oh, this is really bad!
I need to call my patient and apologize.
No.
This is not natural!
Good. Oh, my God!
You are on the 10 cm opening,
And you've entered the second stage
labor, known as active labor.
What?
I'm studying in medicine. Is that so hard to believe?
Yes!
I want to try it now.
Keep your feet away from my chest.
Keep your feet off my chest, okay?
OK. don't be over!
You're a woman...
gave birth to a baby behind a taxi.
and I'm Australian-American.
I will be a hero!
In a taxi? Don't worry, Meg.
My hands and mouth have both.
this has been sterilized with vodka.
I feel like going out. / No no no no.
I will... I will...
Thank me! Hold inside!
We can do it.
We can do it, we can do it.
Here it is!
Exit. Exit. / Okay, open the door.
Damn, the door... / Open the door.
This doesn't want to open! / Open the door!
The door won't open! / Open the door.
Wait! through Window. We just have to...
What are you doing? / The door is locked!
Open the door!
This is going to come out!
Robin! Okay, you have to help him!
You have to help him. He will help you, okay?
I can't. / Help him.
Come on!
Close your feet tightly.
Don't let it out!
Robin, this isn't locked!
Come on!
Oh! my wallet.
No no no no! Enter it in. / This is going to come out!
I need... We need a wheelchair.
Oh my God. / Okay, don't let it out!
He will come out. / Don't leave it out.
Wait, Meg. Meg! Meg! I have to... I have to push.
It wants to get out.
Are you not participating?
You don't need me anymore.
OK. Oh, my God. / OK.
I'm scared. / I am here.
Hi.
I call him.
Look, I know you don't want me here,
But please listen to me, understand?
You like me.
And I like you.
And you're crazy. That is the fact.
Honestly, I think you might be like crazy when you weren't pregnant.
But I can say that, because I love you.
I love you.
I will come back later.
Thank you. Thank you for calling.
Don't do strange things.
Oh, thank you, thank...
Well, you want to meet or not?
He?
This is "him"?
This is Madeline's baby.
God, look at you.
Happy birthday dear.
He is very beautiful.
And I think I love you too.
I mean, I love you, I don't know why I said it.
I love you so much.
I mean, I'm not...
I really can handle all this myself.
I'm an independent woman.
Dear God, are you serious?
But I don't want to.
I don't want to.
Hi.
Does he not look like an alien?
You are the most beautiful alien in the world.
Visit www.Markasjudi.cc
Hey.
What do you want?
I want to tell you that I can do a lot of things myself.
I can open my own shirt,
But I want you to do it for me.
Sounds weird.
I want you to see me, open my clothes.
No, sorry. That sounds very sexual.
That's not what I mean.
I mean I want to open my own clothes.
and I just want you to be here,
because you're my best friend.
and I love you.
And I really love you, too.
This is more than just friendship.
I'm so glad you feel the same way.
I'm just kidding!
Gosh.
I understand. Oh, but I love you.
And I miss you.
I managed to surprise you.
Wait, are you kidding me? Do you live here?
Robin! This is 500 square feet,
Where do you store your clothes and bathe occasionally?
Uh, yeah.
I'm super rich. Don't I say it?
Wait. Why are we always hanging out at my place?
Why do you even work in a company?
Wait, why am I paying everything all the time?
Wow.
Well, I don't need to work in a company.
I just like to be friends with you.
And fuck two security guys.
Why do you have a scooter?
This is a scooter in my room.
I have all over the floor.
I have paid the bill, every time we are out.
But that's how you live super rich.
Oh my God!
You still have a lot to learn from me.
I want you to be my dear dad.
I will be your dear brother.
I think you don't want breakfast?
You damage it.
I think that when we are single,
It is the time where we, are truly alone.
But, how well do we want to be a single person?
is there no danger.
You will be a good single,
so that your way of organizing.
That you will lose the chance to be with someone great?
Some people adopt babies to continue.
Some people refuse to continue single.
Sometimes, it's not statistics.
This is just a company.
And sometimes, just because it ends,
does not mean love ends.
Um, I want to talk to you about your mother.
He fell ill when you were little.
and I'm not talking about it because I still miss him.
Every day.
But, we need to talk about him.
Who is that?
me.
Who is that?
Mama.
Yes.
Many good memories here.
I want to show you something.
♪ But if you feel like I feel ♪
♪ Please tell me that it's real ♪
♪ You're too good to be true ♪
♪ Can't take off my eyes from you ♪
Your Song Your Eyes.
♪ I love you, honey ♪
♪ And if all that is true ♪
♪ I need you, honey ♪
♪ To warm the lonely nights ♪
♪ I love you, honey ♪
♪ Believe in what I say ♪
♪ Oh, beautiful baby ♪
♪ Don't take me down I pray ♪
♪ Oh, beautiful baby ♪
Now I know why Dad never sings.
Why?
Because Dad's voice is very bad.
What are you talking about? Father's voice is very good.
The thing about being single is, you must respect that.
Because, in a week,
or all your life, alone,
You might only get it for a moment.
One time, when you are not bound.
In relationship with anyone.
Parents, pets, siblings, friends.
One time, when you stand alone.
Really, really single.
Then,
It disappears.
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