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Have you prepared a list of questions?
Yes.
I think I already have everything I need.
Be happy because you are not exposed to this Chlamydia, okay?
I've tried peeing earlier...
... as if a dragon is angry inside my cock,...
... you know, like Game of Thrones!
That's bad, Kateesha.
I can't help if are tall, athletic...
... piercing this bushy man.
Yes... Oh, damn it!
Gosh, I thank to God every day...
... because SuperSonics moved to Oklahoma. Shit
Well, I will go so I not late for your interview.
What are you wearing?
There is no camouflage, no fish and no glowing colors.
How will they see you in the dark, bitch? How?
I have to go.
Wow, it's big.
Oh, sorry.
If you are looking for a homeless shelter, is two floors down.
Oh no... I'm Hannah Steale.
I came here to meet Mr. Black.
The Bitch College. Can I take your jacket?
Yes, please. thanks.
Ew...
Follow me.
If you want to know,...
... I am a section secretary who pokes his boss,...
... which means there is no place for drunken apprentices...
... with messy and bunchy hair.
Come here.
Ah!
That is the aroma of the seeds...
... after lunch and twice playing tennis.
Mmm...
Have a nice day, Miss. Steale.
Basic cheap bitch.
Ow! My neck. Ow. Oh
You...
Oh, damn it!
I think I should try pulling the door.
Ms. Kavahellnah.
Christian Black.
Are you okay?
I think so, huh.
Good, because you're so messed up!
I mean, you hit the statue like a rhinoceros butting,...
... and I say rhinos because you're more fat than I thought,...
... and you have a nasal fold that is shaped like a small horn.
- Maybe you want to sneeze. - Okay.
A little proactive there.
I'm not Ms. Kavahellnah.
You're not Ms. Kavahellnah?
- Who are you? - My name is Hannah Steale.
I study Literature...
... with Kateesha at the university.
Oh
Please, sit down.
- Thank you. - You are welcome.
No.
- No. - So what do you want?
Gosh! Just tell me!
Pencil.
Pencil... You live just say from the start!
Gosh! Here, take it!
- Gosh! - Thank you.
You should be honest, Nn. Steale.
Damn.
This is a question from Kateesha, okay?
"You have made a lot of money.
" How do you get it, and may I ask? " Oh... Miss Steale.
I got my money...
... more than black entrepreneurs get it.
- Landowners? - Narcotics.
You have to understand your business from outside and inside.
I smoke cigarettes. Not too long,...
= =... but long enough for you know what the penis feels like.
It feels like a sharp butt burning.
- Mmm. - Ew!
I have had asthma, like E.T. when he is sick in the river.
I lost six teeth.
Have you ever eaten steak with one molar tooth?
No. What do I do that for?
Eating and annoying.
Eating and annoying. This is difficult.
- Maybe it's your luck. - No.
Keanu Reeves is luck.
Flo Rida is luck.
Iggy Azalea is luck.
Yes, he's in a row.
Next question.
"Are you gay, or are you gay?"
Just because you touch the penis doesn't mean you're gay.
Especially if it's for money or cigarettes.
You're only gay if you enjoy touching a penis.
Touching the penis politely... like... "I don't like this."
It's not gay. That's just research.
You said you were an expert from England.
What is Chaucer, Shelley or Keats...
... which makes you fall in love first with literature?
- That is Seuss. - Seuss!
- Cat in the Hat, Thing 1 and Thing 2. -... and Thing 2!
I mean, who doesn't want to be her?
You know, me and my brother is Thing 1...
... and 2nd Thing for Halloween this year.
- Really? - Yes. Look at this.
Gosh, look at you two!
We call it Thang 1 and Thang 2.
That's great.
What if I want to hire you?
I don't know. I saw the way the woman here was dressed.
I'm not suitable.
You know, even though you have a reinforcements sweater,...
... oily woven clothes,...
... and your Usher's nose are big and old,...
... there is something strange about you .
Yes, you're like the Ugly Little Dwarf...
... who are among beautiful puppies.
The ugliest that does not want people to touch it.
You, thick-haired and big-eyed and look wild.
But you just want to go home and give you love,...
... or attacking seeds someone with stones...
... and throw your little friend into the ocean.
Get away from misery.
Oh OK.
Thank you, Mr. Black.
Please, call me Christian.
- Christian. - I hope I have answered all your questions.
Sure.
- Hannah. - Christian.
Oh, damn it!
Gosh!
Oh!
Oh my God!
Gosh, stop it!
White girl, fix the elevator.
Oh, Hannah!
So what about it?
He's just ordinary, I guess.
Oh, damn it! You sodomized it! I know it!
Yes, suction the penis, suction the penis.
What? Uh! Suck the penis! Yes, yes!
Feel, fucker. Suck the penis.
Oh yes! Oh, yes!
Gosh, huh! Oh!
So, is the penis big?
- What? - Oh, it's really thin,...
... or very long, like big skinny?
Because it's really weird.
But, what is it like short and hard?
I can take care of the penis which is short and fat.
No, no... No penis.
Remember what I told you, okay?
If there is a red hole around it in the head of the penis,...
... put it in your butt, okay?
He seems, "Oh no, that's just a birthmark."
"Bitch, you have 47 birthmarks on your penis?
" I won't want that.
"Again!" Okay?
But you have to admit, girl, he's crazy!
Yes, I think if you like types that are wildly successful,...
... very handsome, likes dangerous things,...
... then Christian Black is your man.
Bitch, I'm talking about Lil Weezy!
Oh, he has boils.
And he is not afraid to make a bitch pregnant.
Let you look after the baby.
Mmm.
Will you eat it?
I hope I can find a man the size of this bread to satisfy me.
This bread should be gluten free.
Hmm, Mr. Black.
Oh God.
Mmm... Gosh, Christian.
Mmm...
Gosh, you know what I want to do.
- Hi. - Gosh.
A surprise, Ms. Steale.
Please, call me Hannah.
Okay, Miss. Steale.
I just went around and wanted to buy some items.
You followed me, Mr. Black?
Yes.
I mean, unless you don't want to.
You want to, right?
I know you want.
What can I do for you?
Yes.
I want to buy a series cable and tape.
You're lucky, we have a serial cable here.
- What color do you want? - Red.
Color of passion.
The tape goes through here. Follow me.
If I don't think first,...
... I might accuse you of as a serial killer.
Don't mess around. If I'm a serial killer,...
... I need rope, ax, soap, ammonia gas,...
... chlorophyll, wood cutter, plastic...
... and three big boxes of Space Pampers.
and shovel.
I think again...
I think I want to buy more items.
It seems complete.
Thank you, Ms. Steale.
If your roommate needs photos for a story,...
I'm empty tomorrow. And the next day.
And the day after tomorrow again.
Actually I'm being empty until next week.
This. Just contact me.
"Christian Black.
"I'm not rich, I'm rich... man."
Thank you so much for your help, Ms. Steale.
Notify me when the Space Pampers is coming, okay?
Save three boxes for me!
There is a long journey ahead of me.
Dah!
I will contact you.
- Jesse! - Hey.
Thank you for doing this last time.
Hannah, listen, you're my best friend, okay?
You know I'll do anything, right?
Oh!
- Yes. I like handjob. - What?
I said I like this job. This is great.
Gosh. Come here.
I will attack it later.
Uh... Um...
I don't understand the latter.
I said I would go to the bar.
- Oh. - Come on, Hannah,...
... that's what platonic friends do.
Do you know? Drink beer, right?
Then you get drunk and have sex...
... until we ask our friend status.
- I think so. Come on. - Yes, come here.
- Wow! - Wow!
Hannah! Have you just kissed me on the lips?
- Wait, I thought you were... - No. Listen, let's be clear.
- We are just friends. Don't make it weird. - Oh no, I thought you were...
- It's okay. I will sodomize you later. - Wait. What?
I said until later.
- Gosh, Hannah. - Oh.
Go.
Pow! Pow!
He looks at you with...
... fearful style now.
He looks like Marky Mark...
... after leaving Funky Bunch and starting acting.
Alright, smile.
Cheese.
Okay, never smile again, okay?
He invited me to drink coffee after shooting.
Oh, that's adorable!
The last time I drank coffee,...
... I eat outside McDonald's.
The McCafé menu makes fat women.
OK, let's solve the internet.
Eat.
I'm not your dog, you can't tell me.
You're right. If you do my dog, I will do this.
Naughty dogs, naughty dogs!
So, tell me about your family
Well...
My father left me when I was two years old,...
... so I grew up by my stepfather, Ron.
That's very boring.
What about your mother?
- He married eight times. - Yes.
He is always romantic.
Are you a romantic?
I think so.
I like to walk on the beach.
I like to chat, I like to hug.
And I like the films of Nicholas Sparks.
Even with Miley Cyrus?
- That's my favorite! - Bitch, I'm out!
- Cheers. - Yes.
It feels like a white kid during the fall holidays.
I hate it. I will contact him.
Do you want to drink again?
Yes. Drink to forget it.
Yes.
Oh yeah.
It feels terrible.
This drink must be made delicious.
Let me fix it for you.
I have to go to the toilet.
What should you do?
I have to go to the women's toilet.
- Huh? - I have to defecate!
Hannah... are you okay? A little dizzy maybe?
- Wow! - Huh? Can't make good choices?
We have to increase to the next level and you suck my cock.
Honey, you go to the next level, later you won't feel sick again, okay?
Gosh. You're my best friend.
Yes. Profit.
Play my mouth with your finger.
Damn!
I won't be able to get it.
I will menyodomi you. I won't like it, but I'll do it.
Look, I'm not sodomizing with white women, okay?
Negro, who do you call white?
Did he just call me with the word "N"?
Makes me excited.
Call me a Negro again.
Mmm-hmm.
Hello.
Yes, this is Hannah.
Hannah, are you drunk?
Yes, I'm drunk.
Bastard, maybe you are masturbating,...
... Your penny sucks your ass.
You sound like Yoda. Listen, I want you to go home now.
Don't tell me,...
... Mr. "Oh, let's drink coffee.
" No, get away from me! "
I will say with words that you understand.
Now, you have to go home!
No!
I told him .
- Mmm-hmm. - Bitch, you smell like dirt.
Ugh!
Oh, Hannah! Hannah! Hey, it's cold outside.
You can't go out like that.
Oh, thank you.
How do you feel?
Just a little drunk.
Are you drunk like Donald-Trump-who-is-president-president...
... or drunk like, Donald-Trump-said-he-not-like-Mexican?
Because it's crazy.
Many Mexicans are crossing the border.
And you show them Negro love! Show Negro love!
Can I show you love?
What? No!
Come on! Just one kiss!
I don't know when you will get this drunk again!
Come on, give the kiss!
Ow! Stop it!
- Hey! He said no! - Stop it!
Christian!
You just pushed me, Negro?
Oh, you will run out, kid.
Wait. This Negro is attacking?
I will attack you, Negro.
He attacks!
Damn!
Christian, keep lying down!
OK.
This Negro is a ninja.
Star of the world!
- Bitch! - He has a beautiful face.
He left?
You should run away!
Oh, I don't feel good, Christian.
Come on, I'll take you home.
Oh no, I can't be with you,...
... because my roommate is in there.
Don't worry. He has been taken care of.
What is your name again?
My name is Eli.
My friends call me Weekday.
I'm Christian's sister.
Ooh... Mmm...
The poor.
Mmm-mmm...
I know what you say,...
... "Oh, he's financially poor, but spiritually rich."
Mmm...
- Well, that doesn't count. - What do you feel?
- Gosh.
When will it end? Gosh!
The weight of my penis makes my money too heavy to carry!
Yes!
See you later, miss.
- Until we meet again. - How do I touch you?
I mean, relating to you!
My telephone number...
... is seven.
Oh!
That's a good number. Oh, God.
I contact you later!
Good morning.
I lament you all night.
I haven't blinked at all.
Gosh, my eyes hurt.
- How can I be here? - I brought you here, Hannah.
You open my shirt?
Sure. Mmm...
Gosh, we don't...
No, we don't do it.
And I'll prove it with my blue seeds.
Look at this.
Ugh!
What is that? What is that?
Oh... This is really painful.
I do not know what to do!
Why did you show me that?
I make breakfast for you.
This. Eat it You need energy.
But you licked it, and did sort of strange things on this bread.
Can I get that still fresh? Maybe jam.
No, eat it.
Why don't you leave me alone, Christian?
Because I can't afford it leave you alone.
I am a certified stalker.
There are four commands I am doing, and I am chasing the fifth.
Listen to me.
I don't do romantic things.
Anal, yes. Play hands, of course.
Two for pink, one for the smell, yes.
I do that. But I don't do romantic things.
You know, I want to bite that lip.
I hope you will do it.
Ow!
Ow! Mmm...
Oh my God!
Come on, we get out of here.
- Gosh, it makes me wet. - Oh!
Oh, I like it.
Idiot!
How are you doing?
Open your eyes. Lizard kiss, come on.
Vampire bites!
I like it! Again!
Yes! Yes!
Gosh!
You keep quiet and watch.
Get out of here!
Excuse me.
I have to warn, elevators make me excited.
Oh, Dad, I want you to write songs about me.
I want to be your mind.
Oh, this is a wonderful time.
I was inspired to make songs...
... about you now.
Oh, it feels good.
Because I love sex without a condom.
Oh
And I like it when my cock goes into you while naked.
Deeper father! Yes!!
This starts to craze inside you...
Yes! Yes!
This starts to craze inside you...
Oh, I thought you were wild for about two minutes! Oh!
You are infected, huh.
You need antiseptic, huh.
Because you burned it...
Oh, is that like E Minor?
Oh, you burned it!
Oh, you burned it...
Ah... You...
Oh, shit.
Fucker!
Done? I have to go to church.
- Hey! - Oh.
You guys make love.
- Oh. - Hey bro.
- How are you doing? - My older brother.
My sister, peace and be approached.
Hannah, this is my little sister, Eli.
- "Small"? - Yes.
I'm Eli, like a movie about books,...
... because I'm inside.
He is inside.
Very deep.
Yes.
Kateesha tells a lot about you.
Yes, you're like...
... more innocent than I thought.
Well, he's innocent but beautiful.
- You're like a brick, boring and stiff... - All right.
and thick face.
Good, enough with this little chat.
There are trips far in front of us.
Indeed. Nice to meet you. A pleasure.
The month will rise again.
Oh, that's really romantic, boo. What does it mean?
- Fucking, bitch. - All right, I got it! See you later!
- Nice to meet you. - Dah.
Alright, listen. Meet me at the office later.
There are special plans for you.
- Okay? Fucking, bitch. - Mmm-hmm.
- Who do you call a bitch? - Oh, damn it!
Damn.
I just said. My sister told her,...
... and I think it's funny.
Mmm.
Gosh, bitch... I mean, girl.
Are you ready for a trip in your life?
Gosh! Are we going to get on your helicopter?
I can't believe you thought I would take you on a helicopter.
We haven't even made love.
Please.
Gosh! Do you live here?
What, black people can't have this good place?
No, black people shouldn't be have this beautiful place.
You know, Wesley Snipes has a place like this,...
... before he stops paying taxes.
How about drinking wine?
Yes, please.
OK.
Do you know why I bring you here, Hannah?
I think it makes sweet love.
I don't make love. I sodomize.
Hard and fast.
Very fast.
Like the Ronda Rousey fight. You blink and you end.
OK.
But first you have to sign...
... non-statement approval.
What is that?
Basically this is when the lawyer says "keep quiet."
Come with me. I will explain.
Non-statement approval...
... protect both of us, but mostly me.
Behind this door is my playroom.
You mean like PlayStation and the like?
Oh That's a good key.
Very narrow.
The keyhole doesn't open! Ready to open?
Refill! I told you to refill!
I'm an Xbox player.
Oh, you're next, Black!
You won't want that.
When you are done with Wendy Williams,...
... play this game so I can shoot your face!
I will be honest with you, Christian. He is not attractive.
Like a bitch that has lupus.
You are like a thumb that has just been inserted into someone's buttocks.
Oh!
Slam dunk!
That's crazy.
Yes, how about... Ha!
- I can't. - Because I'm better.
Okay, there's something...
... what I want to show you.
Gosh. There is no more poor Negro, right?
- Nothing. - No offense.
And don't worry about the soft hair that grows on your penis.
We can't see it from your pants.
Don't give all your pains to him, bro.
- He is not entitled. - Half a penis.
Over there Charles Barkley.
Idiot! I am out!
Please, Miss. Steale. Keep your mind open.
Tempting.
I got this from my grandmother.
You're a crazy fucker.
No, Bill Cosby is a crazy asshole.
I'm just the dominant one.
What does it have to do with me?
I want you to give yourself to me sexually.
I will whip, chained and play viagra to you.
And what do I get from all that?
me.
Gosh!
- Oh. Let me be clear. - Mmm-hmm.
So, you want to finish me with this rope...
- Whip. - Whip.
You want to bind me to this buffer...
Eh... Handcuffing.
And demean me with unimaginable ways,...
... and instead for all this torture,...
I got you?
Yes, that's true.
And there are women who want to?
Some women.
- This is like DisneyLand for adults. - Yes.
What do you think?
I'm pretty good at anything,...
... as long as you promise not to tell my father if I sodomize with Negro Men.
What do you think?
Two things. Where is the cup,...
... and when will we eat shit?
What are we doing here?
I think we can start with a little rope game.
No!
Okay, what if I tie you up on the buffer there and I slap your ass?
Don't want to!
Maybe a little whipping?
I don't even know what whipping means,...
... so don't want to!
Okay, then what should we do?
You have to look for Jesus! That's what you have to do.
Okay, this is how.
I make a standard contract for a requirement.
Make love a lot, we can make love more often.
Yadda-yadda, we end with making love.
Look, and you negotiate what you can do.
It's not that you don't want to...
... goes into all this,...
... but I...
Are you often abused?
No. I...
Have a problem with daddy.
No.
What I'm trying to say is, I...
- Still a virgin? - Yes.
Gosh! I can't believe this!
I don't understand!
Well, say you have done something.
Blowjob?
- What is it inside? - Fingering?
- No. - Panda rages?
- Why go berserk? - Why do you ask?
Gosh! Okay, say that you have done anal.
I know how.
You let someone stab something into your dirty hole...
... so you can tell your mother and your pastor if you are a virgin.
I'm just waiting.
For what?
Girl, you are around 20 years old!
Your Sperm will get worse. Your Sperm will rot!
Under there will later ferment. Only ferment. Understand?
So nobody wants your cock?
I'm just very selective about who I will...
Oh, selective?
Sounds like someone is friendly but doesn't want to be played.
- Hey. - Do not take it wrong.
I don't want to like an old washing machine...
... or like a brush wet inside the car wash...
... or keep quiet like the statue outside the bed shop.
But I want an experience.
Alright, listen.
We will fix this situation. Right now.
I've waited a long time for this.
Come on.
Yes!
Oh... Very...
You're very "soft".
Have you never made love to with a virgin before?
Not with hairy ones.
Ow! You hurt me!
Shh...
What's up?
Oh yeah, I have an umbilical cord.
Oh, wow!
Wow!
There is a taste!
- What? - You're the first to see it.
Eskimo's little kiss?
Oh no one has ever done that to me.
- Watch out for teeth! - Sorry.
Already.
OK.
Sorry. Not had time to take a shower.
Damn!
Thank you.
Oh!
OK. Are you ready?
I will take you to another galaxy!
Gosh, I want to go out!
Gosh!
Gosh! Gosh!
- Whoo! - Already out?
Oh, that was great.
Really? I expect something...
... different.
Don't worry. This is the first time for you. Do not clean.
You will be even better if you have experience. Keep trying.
Oh, the usual thing for women...
... to make sandwiches for men...
... to increase energy.
Either that or the rest of Pizza, or maybe Hot Pocket.
Do you want me to make a Hot Pocket for you?
I don't make rules, I just said.
You have to learn a lot, kid.
Mmm...
Have you fallen asleep?
Negro!
Ugh!
Christian?
- Christian! - Oh, damn it!
Who is that?
My mother.
Oh!
Great.
Now I have to get rid of two crazy bitches. Damn.
Mother!
- Ah, Christian. - Hello.
You should be neat, or we will be late for regata.
I forgot that today.
You're not drunk anymore, right?
- No, mother. - Mother raised you not for that.
After all, it is your trait in your genealogism.
Hello.
I stand on my property!
Oh, damn it!
Mother, what are you doing? He is Hannah Steale!
How many times do I have to say? Negro life is important.
Come on, wake up.
- Hannah, this is my mother, Claire. - Oh.
I'm sorry, Hannah.
Geez, your breasts are beautiful.
I think your breasts wither,...
... like socks containing stone toes,...
... like in National Geographic magazine.
You have to forgive my mother's behavior.
Sometimes he can factually not be precise and very racist.
Don't apologize for me, Christian.
I'm your mother, and I love you...
... like my own white child.
But I keep hiding my wallet at night, just in case.
As usual, mother.
Nice to meet you.
- Are you two dating? - No, mother, we don't date.
We only bersodomi. Very hard.
and fast. Apparently, that's the best way.
Well, it's nice to meet with you, Hannah.
I mean, you're the first woman who I saw together with Christian.
I'm sure he...
What does Oprah say? "On DL?"
Christian, you can be better.
Oh, mother.
You're one of the richest men, the world's most handsome man.
You can date white women.
Like Tiger Woods and Seal.
Okay, time to go, mother.
or like Taye Diggs or Quincy Jones. Or even Ice-T.
Hannah, Chinese Christian Brother, Mai, just came to town,...
... so we have to hide cats and family dinners.
- You have to come. - I'll be happy.
Nice to meet you.
Good, good. Time to go, ma'am.
Oh...
Now, where is my wallet?
Still here.
- You will never know. - Yes.
Mmm...
This is delicious. Mmm.
OK.
We have breakfast. Time to go.
Oh look, your Uber-Taxi has arrived. OK.
Okay, what?
Explain.
Well, how can you get into all...
... dominant obedience matters?
He is one of my mother's close friends,...
... and my music teacher.
I am 16 years old.
He is older.
Don't be nervous, Christian.
What I want you to do is to do your best.
I thought I was here to study music.
dear, indeed.
And your lesson starts here.
Hey. Oh Just a minute.
There is a simple John Holmes here,...
... without big penis and stamina!
Baikla! Repeat again! One two three!
Ow!
Know why I hit your head with a tambourine, Black?
I don't know.
Well, are you hurrying or are yelling?
I thought I was making love.
Oh! That's not making love!
Now, count.
One, two...
I hurry up or let out?
- Answer the question! - You hurry up!
What is crying? Oh! Poor little guy.
- Are you sad? - I am sad.
Basic little bastards are useless, are adopted and not loved!
Crying and drooling in my vagina like a 9-year-old girl!
Now, for the last time,...
-... say louder so I can hear! - I am sad!
Oh, Black, get out of bed! You make me disgusted.
- But I'm sad. - Get out of bed!
- You're not ready for this! - I am ready!
Ugh!
Willy? Willy, you're next.
Willy?
You have a lot of practice, Black!
You don't produce anything, sexually or musically.
And you know...
... which disappointed me all this time?
I think you blacks have big rhythms and penis!
Gosh, I'm wrong!
I have a rhythm!
Everything is ready, Ms. Steale. From Mr. Black.
What's up?
What is that? What is a Drone?
Alright, sign here.
Thank you very much.
Oh, girl, another gift?
Gosh, you must be protesting at him!
Wait a minute, what is a Retina display from a MacBook Pro?
Bitch, you lick the butt hole!
I don't lick the buttocks!
Damn, you're lucky.
I licked six butt holes last week! I got a Dell gift!
Desktop!
I don't understand it at all.
Hey, did the shipment arrive?
No.
It's just a strange sex contract from Christian that he wants me to sign.
You sign and you get the paper, boo, understand?
A bitch must have his own. Stay licking the ass, understand?
Use a Laptop to do research. Starting with...
"How do college students study not have a computer?"
I don't like receiving commands. We're done!
Are we finished?
- Ap... - Yes, I read your message.
Wow emoticons, sparkling diamonds, dung?
What does that mean?
You make me confused with the emoji...
Hey, how can you enter here?
What is important?
Yes, it's actually important, because you don't live here and you don't have the key.
You don't need a key to enter the clothes basket, Hannah.
Now, help me out.
You're lucky I'm not hiding in your medicine drawer,...
... or your jewelry box.
I try to hide in your closet,...
... but you have the Gideon Bible there and I don't fit.
Wait a minute, you enter by breaking the window?
This one?
Oh no, it could be someone else.
The brick on the floor reads "Property belongs to Christian Black."
"Christian..."
Yes, indeed.
But, I mean, can Christian be any black, right?
I mean, okay, shh...
Enough with the interrogation.
Come here.
Don't move,...
... or I have to punish you.
I said don't move!
OK.
Oh!
That feels weird. What is that? Really hairy.
Yes! Yes!
Wait, don't move. Don't...
Gosh, it's cold!
You are ready, Ms. Steale?
Yes, Christian.
Oh!
You bring a condom, right?
- Condoms? - Yes.
Oh... Okay, of course!
Of course I have a condom. Wait a minute.
Gosh!
Just want to know that you use protection against me.
Aha! Dusty old!
"March, 1982?" Aw, it's impossible.
Yes, there is one here! Find it!
This, let me tell you to hear.
OK.
I will wipe this bad guy aside.
Oh! Then I will carve there.
Gosh, it feels really natural.
Like you don't wear it at all!
That slippery skin of my cock.
- Oh! Relax. - What?
Not you. I talk to me.
OK? Oh... Ready?
It was like two blows!
The Negro here is recording!
They will put me in into the Wheaties box! Oh!
Thank you for using a condom.
I know, because,...
... we don't want you to get pregnant, right?
I know. I don't even get birth control and I'm ovulating.
Did I say _ if there were twins in my family?
Twin?
My sister has "Sextuplets".
Sextu...
Oh really? Let me take a mint after sex.
This, Hannah.
Eat. This.
Yes.
- Ugh! It feels weird. - Already?
Ah!
Smart girl. Phew!
I have a question about something on the contract.
I have pee on the paper. Sorry about that.
I have extra large urethra.
When I pee it feels like socks.
I mean the contents, not stains on page 7.
I want to do business meeting tonight.
Sounds good. I will wear clothes that I always wear.
We start, Ms. Steale?
First page, paragraph one.
This must change!
There is a typo in the header.
That's it?
Mr. Black, I will end this negotiation now!
My fault.
Fourth page, sections 13-20.
Warm greetings for anal boxing...
- Is there a problem? - Absolutely not.
And attack vaginal fist.
I mean, if you are going to do anal,...
... you will definitely do vaginal boxing. I mean, it's from there.
Oh sure. I will...
I will write it there using Bold.
Next page, sex toys. "Are they accepted in compliance?"
Dildo, I think. Buttocks, good.
- Fuck! - Wow...
How can this enter?
What about genital flapper?
Sorry, Ms. Steale, I...
I didn't find it in...
Because you forgot to write it.
Slow movement, Mr. Black.
I'm embarrassed.
Let's be clear. I won't leave you with another woman.
- I want at least two or three. - Lima.
- Seven. - Seven, ready.
You can't change my mind, Mr. Black.
You make me excited, Miss. Steale.
- Thank you. - You know, Ms. Steale,...
... I want to have sex with you in the middle of next month.
Stupid. You can't sodom me with me...
... in the middle of the next minute.
I will menyodomi you to another galaxy.
You will be like, "Oh, damn it, it's cold on Pluto!"
Yes, I will sodomize you at Stephen Hawking's exhibition.
And I will have your butt so hard that causes damage to the continuum of time and space.
I will sodomize you to the time of slavery, and you will get a free letter.
Yes, I will hire DeLorean and sodomize you until you return to the future.
I will menyodomi you to all other planets, where the insects are Men in Black.
You will be like, "Oh, damn it! How many times have you sodomized me?"
Three million, 746 hundred million times.
And you will like, "Why?"
And I will like, "Shut up," and I attack you with neurons...
You will be like,...
"Gosh, why is my vagina so sick?"
And I will like, "You fell."
Great game, Mr. Black.
I've done this before.
And he is an heir from our university.
With enough interest, he donates all of his money.
Usually in units, limitas, twenties,...
... $ 100 is folded there is a little powder.
Welcome Mr. Christian Black.
Why are you talking about my business, huh? Do not interfere.
Thank you. Let's talk about your life and purpose.
You spend four heavy years in this school to get your diploma,...
... makes your parents you get into debt,...
... for what?
Among global warming and the decline in the world economy,...
I don't know why you want trying to be the best.
Give up on hope! Think about it
You are wasting time.
you. You are a drug addict waiting to happen.
Look at you. You can't wait to get out of here and suck marijuana.
And you! You're a naked dancer!
Your butt nungging while I speak here.
You can find the rhythm there.
And you, sir.
Well, you are white. You will be fine.
In closing, I want to say,...
... "Thank God I'm not you."
- Kateesha! Gosh, we succeeded! - Yes, girl!
I'm proud of you.
Who are you talking about? I'm close.
There is one more handjob to make the best student get drunk away from that bitch,...
Lindsey Hung, right?
- What you are talking... - Shut up.
I see the bitch, he talks nonsense.
He needs an obstetrician...
... when I finish the affair with the bitch! OK!
See you later.
I'll hit the bitch's throat.
Lindsey! Basic bilingual bitch!
I'm proud of you.
Hannah!
Father!
Nice to see you.
Oh! I'm sorry for you.
You know, I think you will be useless.
But you end up very well,...
... before being a stoned slut.
- Oh yeah. - Yes, your mother is rehab.
27 times is a success.
- Yes, right? - Yes, a success.
Hey, where are my other stepfathers?
Over there.
Jonny Quest, B. B. King.
Dad doesn't know who is the Negro whose button is opened.
He must be the father who gave birth to you.
Yes, everything is good. A group of good men.
And you know people used to say, "Need a village."
And that's true. Especially when...
... your mother becomes a sewer whore...
... and in that village he will be gangbanged.
- The village is a gangbang worker. - Hannah!
Hi!
Hey, hey, wait a minute, playman!
Why do you dare to grab and kiss the girl I grew up?
What is this nonsense?
Ron, this is my girlfriend, Christian Black.
Girlfriend!
Ron, to be honest, I only menyodominya several times.
"Girlfriend" makes it sound serious, I'm like a craze.
I mean, I might feel moody, but...
Do you think about marrying her?
No.
What if she is pregnant?
Still not, but it's impossible.
I like this person!
I like this Negro.
I make your father happy.
You know, from us playmakers, Black, I really like you.
- You can sit with anyone you want. - Thank you.
Yes, but don't overdo it like that we did to his mother.
- That's what I want. - Yes, I appreciate that.
We overdo their mother like a stick.
Yes.
You never told me about your mother.
Your mother sodomizes everyone in the environment,...
... then he wants to feel calm with me, and I do that.
You know, I have to chat with you,...
... seek knowledge, because you are very wise.
I have a lot of wisdom and I've gone through a lot,...
... and I finished dealing with prostitutes...
... and smell on my fingers...
-... for years... - Damn! What!
- Still there. Never lost. - Oh! Damn it!
Wow, sir! I kissed it one by one!
Yes, man.
Like beautiful and horrible at the same time.
I put my hand on...
... in bitch underwear messaged all over the world.
Really?
- Asia, Malaysia, Congo. - Hmm.
There is Dubai.
Wow, I kissed her hair.
Touching buttocks bitch at Dubai airport.
I'm sure you can share experience with me, friend.
Let's take a photo, let's take a photo for both of us. Selfie.
No, baby. Only me and him.
Ready? One two three. Negro!
Where are we?
Congratulations, Hannah.
That's a car.
With broken glass?
Do you like it?
Yes. The car is good.
Do you know what I passed to steal this car?
I mean... The car is made of steel.
- Have you just turned away from me? - No.
Look, there are two things that I hate,...
... when you turn away from me and "Craisins".
What is Craisin? Not cranberry, nor raisin.
That is even meaningless.
- You just turned away again! - No.
Yes, you did it. It's on the tape.
Look, look at this.
Oh, what did he do? He turned away. Look at
- How do you do it? - Come on, come with me now.
But...
I give you a lesson about turning away. Come on.
Oh
Do you know why I will punish you?
Because you're a crazy who likes to harass women.
Maybe there is truth there, but that's not the reason.
Because I turned away.
Bingo.
Oh!
This will make you sicker than me.
Ha!
Welcome to my world.
Gosh! Shit!
Oh, it's sick! Oh!
Do you do it?
Ow.
OK, 15 across, "Winter drinks."
Not at all? You don't feel anything?
I like knitting.
Will you pat my butt? All of this starts to feel bored.
OK, do you want to play?
Oh, I have something for you.
Excuse me.
Just play around. It's getting dark here.
Sure.
Will you find something that can?
Almighty Big Brother!
Wooo!
That is the oar of my social society!
Oh!
You know, Hannah,...
... I don't want to do this,...
... but you become a bad girl.
Do you damage my seat?
No.
I think I'm pretty good at this.
Oh...
I don't understand.
I hit you with anything. I do not understand.
Don't be discouraged.
I don't feel anything there since I implanted my butt.
See you at my place tomorrow. Yes.
When you are in this room, do as I say.
- Understand? - Yes.
- Yes, who? - Yes, Sir.
Smart girl.
Raise your hand.
Spin. Kneel.
Shut up.
Don't look at me!
Raise your hand.
Is that sick?
No.
Sometimes the pain is in your mind.
Damn! Fuck!
And sometimes the pain is not in your mind!
Bastard!
I have important questions for you, Mr. Steale.
- Where is bin Laden? - What?
Where is bin Laden? Where was the last time you saw bin Laden?
Where is he?
I don't know!
He has been dead for five years!
I don't hold selametan!
And now torture actually begins.
Where are we?
I don't remember the safe words.
Chapter 23.
"It's a cold day, gloomy in Seattle."
Gosh, this book "50 shades of fucking terrible." (Very bad)
Who wrote it, third grade elementary school?
Please return to torture with water!
- What are the safe words? - Stop it!
What are your safe words?
I don't know.
Please... Will you drop me now?
Yes, Ms. Steale.
If I can find the key.
You don't see the cookies... No, I know where. I...
Gosh, my hands start to cramp.
I have an idea.
Look, most people use the key universal padlock in their sex prison...
... for reasons like this. Hmm.
But what you have is a play key that is bold.
Well, that's an unusual job.
You need someone else to see this.
Yes, I don't know what to say.
Next time, I put the tracker app on the key so it doesn't disappear.
- What is the name? - Oh, I know his name.
It's on the tip of my tongue. Starting with "T."
- Ta... - Maybe Ten (Ten)?
Telepathy?
Hey, stupid, it's called a Tile.
Tile!
Gosh, you're great!
- You go to college! - Yes!
Come on!
I open many keys every day, but I've never seen this one.
- Dude, this is great. - Thank you.
Yes. I can not. Who's next?
Who is next? Who are you, Ocean Eleven?
How many fools would you bring here?
- Retreat! - Oh.
Is the third count, the Great Mysterio...
... will send this lock open!
One! Don't ignore your view.
Two! Illusion!
Three! Mysterio!
- Thank you. - Um...
Uh...
Yes, it doesn't work. The lock is still there.
Nothing happens!
Oh I can not. Friends.
Oh my God.
Oh, talking about disappearing, I there is a bar mitzvah in one hour. Mysterio!
- Oh damn it! - Gosh.
This is not in my contract!
Where are we?
For dinner at my parents' house.
- You look beautiful. - Thank you.
Where do you learn to dance?
In a small club in Tampa.
Dance!
Yes!
Oh, wow.
Ah! Shit!
What is that?
Gosh, he has a baby penis!
This is because of the lighting! The lighting is bad! That makes a shadow!
It's not small! You guys are small!
Hi.
Oh, you arrived.
Hannah! Nice to meet you.
Hi.
Hannah, this is my father, Gary.
We are happy to meet you, Hannah.
- Really? - Oh, yes.
I'm sure that Christian is gay.
He's a good provider, likes Lady Gaga.
You can't turn away from Anderson Cooper.
What kind of Republican is watching CNN?
Hi! I'm Mai!
Nice to meet you!
I can't believe you're a Republican.
That is the deepest secret.
We continue?
- I can't believe you're a Republican. - Sorry.
Ah...
Ny. Black, this meal looks good.
Oh, thank you, Hannah.
Well, it's important to me...
... even our adopted children are released according to their nature.
So, for Eli, you have prepared Balangu.
That is a avoidance Spicy Goats from Nigeria.
And for Mai, of course, there are Peking Duck...
... from Mandarin Province in China.
I'm Korean!
Don't be rude, Mai!
There are billions of Chinese children starving...
... who need power to make Sneakers for Nike,...
... and they will kill each other for this dish.
For Christian, of course, there are Fried Chicken and Kool-Aid.
That is a dish that is very popular in Detroit, Michigan.
And your favorite, of course, spicy sauce!
Oh, mother.
So, Hannah, do you want to have children?
Yes, I want to, if I meet with a suitable person.
Oh, you don't know what joy we got from our children.
Mai is what worries me the most.
I mean, he's really sweet.
I mean, it looks like it will happen when he grows up someday and runs away with Gary.
Like our director's friend,...
... who married Mia Farrow?
Honey, stop it. She's our daughter.
She's a little sexy.
Hannah, I want to recommend...
... you to adopt a poor child.
Wow, that's really sweet, Mrs. Black.
The opening of a good talk is charity,...
... it helps your social status...
Give it to me.
... and your vagina isn't tight anymore like elastic straps in Cirque du Soleil.
OK, ma'am. Please.
I always do anything for my child.
I even learned speaking Mandarin for Mai.
That's not even real language.
The bottom attack!
Hannah, where did your family come from?
Oh...
My mother lives in Georgia.
Oh, Atlanta!
Oh, surely your mother is a naked dancer.
He actually lives in Savannah,...
... and he is just a housewife.
Surely, honey.
I will visit him, within a few days.
Drink everything? Drink?
- I'm two. - I want, ma'am,
... but I promise to Hannah to show us our garden.
Stretching home! Yes!
Excuse me, sorry.
Food store time.
I like being in the air now!
Why don't you talk about him?
Who, my mother?
Gosh, he has a call?
You love him?
Of course, she's my mother.
Gosh, how long has this happened?
From birth.
Come on, I can't compete with him!
You don't have to compete with my mother!
You're my girlfriend, she's my mother.
That is two different relationships!
No! Okay, Hannah, you are mine, understand?
There are no mothers, siblings, cousins, the departure of a second cousin...
... there are no friends you call cousins because they are close to your parents!
- Nothing. - No one playing with cousins?
There is no playing cousin.
Christian, what do you want?
I want Kevin Hart not in every movie!
Why? He is funny.
Come on, there are other Negro actors!
- What about them? - Who is it like?
It could be Sam Jackson on Ride Along.
Who knows what wig he uses?
I think you want me!
What do you want, love letter?
- Hickies? Flowers that are easy to eat? - Mmm.
You know, it's not even a real flower. That is fruit.
Yes, but delicious.
And that's the beginning, okay?
And maybe we can go to Tiffany's Engagement Ring,...
... and a wedding where we invite 500 of our closest friends,...
... then we have seven children, and we live in a big house...
Wow. Have you planned everything, huh?
You know, am I just or is it really hot here? Shit
You want me to be someone that I can't make.
No, I'm not changing you.
You changed me!
Wait a minute.
Those are the words from the Radio movie.
No.
Yes, the films are Cuba Gooding, Jr.,
... where he plays a mentally disabled athlete.
"We don't teach Radio,...
"... Radio teaches us. "
Well, mine is different.
The same assumption.
It's finished?
= = Jerry Maguire, also plays Cuba Gooding, Jr.
I don't understand your obsession with him.
You know, all this time I thought I wasn't in the right place... yes!
That's what Snow Dogs said.
Gosh!
I have to stop watching Netflix.
Hannah!
The song sounds sad.
Not as sad as Luther Vandross "Dance With My Father".
Oh my God, that song made me cry.
Every time I hear it, I want to say, "Where is my father?"
Christian, we have to talk.
Do you mean like white people?
What's wrong with that?
Well, they talk a lot, you know?
The way they are different from Negroes who do it.
White people don't like to argue, they like to discuss.
Then they start using the word SAT big...
... then hate each other.
Too much business.
I like the way Negroes, where we curse each other,...
... we fight, then we are friends again,...
... but we talk to each other from behind,...
"Oh, well, I'm not poking the bitch."
But what you won't do...
- But what you won't do... - What are you...
You can't tell me to say no!
Don't let me applause, boo.
Oh, it's impossible.
Look, that's communication.
I've felt better.
- Christian. - Hey!
You're upset not because I haven't...
... sign the contract, right?
That is not even legally legal. You know that, right?
The most important here are the rules.
And if you break it, you must be punished.
How will you punish me?
First, you'll be forcibly staying at home...
... then I will tell you to stand in the corner for an hour.
Then I will tell you to go to the room...
... without dinner, young lady.
Christian, this is crazy. Why do you have to punish me?
Because I am 51 Shades of fucked up! (Very chaotic)
I only have five-four seconds left to go crazy.
There are three fillets to fry.
I have 99 problems, but now a bitch adds one!
So it's 100 problems, Hannah!
I can only take care of a few . 99 doesn't matter.
100 it feels... I can't even count up there.
OK.
Show the worst.
I want to see how severe it is.
There are no more cowardly punishments...
... what you have done so far.
I want to feel everything.
Is that something you think you can do?
Thank you.
Yes.
Down.
Hmm.
Mmm-mmm.
Hmm.
Aha.
Nobody calls ass-whuppin ' like Joe Jackson. (Whipping the buttocks)
Hannah...
I will whip your butt six times.
I want you to count.
Gosh, fucker!
I said count with me!
One! Two!
Oh my God! Very sick, I can't keep counting! Where are we?
I don't know!
Gosh, Hannah!
I don't know how to count, okay?
My mother with shallow brains never taught me.
How about this? Let's say in Spanish.
- Spain? - Si / Yes.
Tres / Three. Cuatro / Empat
I'm not too sure, but I think Cinco / Lima after tres.
Are you kidding? Cuatro after tres.
Well, don't be angry with me. I don't know Spanish.
Look, my superficial brained mother never taught me to count or speak Spanish.
- Now we have to start from again! - No!
Wuu!
I'm tired. Gosh, it's tiring.
Oh, tomorrow I will be sick.
Come on, wake up.
Don't touch me!
Hey!
Does that make you happy see me like this?
I mean, not really. You're like a sad Gollum.
You're bent, and you cry. You're a little crazy.
Come on, don't hate me.
hate you?
I feel jealous of you.
Wow. These are the words of the Thesaurus.
I hate you like Negroes hate police.
Wow.
I hate you like Republicans hate ObamaCare!
Honey, come on.
I hate you like Kanye West hates everyone!
Well, I support it about Taylor Swift.
What is the bitch singing?
You won't do that again to me.
You say it's okay.
I know niggers, shabby negroes who consider themselves cheap,...
... and they won't have problems come here...
... to sodom your ass!
- Wow. Santailaj. - Like one "Cuckoo!"
And they will greet you from below...
... like doves on old onion bread!
You can't cuckoo here!
You have to calm him down.
Do you know?
Let's try something else.
Aw, this is cute. I understand, change roles.
This is cute.
Handcuffs. OK.
Do you think you would do all this to me?
You deal with the wrong bitch.
You sound angry.
This is for Kerry Washington from "De-jango Unchained!"
That is... Read Django! The letter "D" is left!
This is for Lupita Nyong'o on "12 Years a Slave!"
Gosh! Very stinging!
All he wants is soap!
Even antibacterial soap!
This is for Denzel Washington.
Wait, he's not even a woman.
You're just crazy.
But they made him cry in "Glory".
Who made Denzel Washington cry? There is no!
Are you talking about this?
Look, I have a "Glory" cry.
If it's not for Denzel Washington, Flight is for Soul Plane!
Damn!
Why do they make Soul Plane?
And this is for the little white skin girl in "Fifty Shades of Gray"!
Johnson. Dakota Johnson.
He must be naked in the movie!
That's careless!
Wuu! Ah!
It feels burning! It feels like someone turned on...
My ass is on fire! Gosh, it hurts so much!
It's finished?
Oh no, Negro. We haven't finished yet!
We haven't finished with you, Negro!
What? What are you trying to do?
I will make your ass knight.
Welcome to my world, fucker.
Gosh!
This is really painful.
I hope I die.
Don't be touched!
Oh, it feels tickling.
Christian, I thought you liked it.
For what it's like}!
What kind of pervert person who finished you for his own pleasure?
Christian, you don't want someone like me.
You're the one I want.
I violated the graduation of college with a liberal rank...
... and without hope for the future.
That's what I want.
Christian, I'm so in love with you.
Uh... Wow!
Slow down. It's not in contract.
Specifically say, and I quote,...
... "Bitch doesn't love a Negro."
OK? And I Bold twice.
I know I have to make you sign this contract.
Christian, I think the best is you go.
Get out!
OK, do you want me to go? Do you want me to go? Fine, I'm leaving!
OK? Wait a minute.
Um...
I live here.
Aren't you supposed to go? Am I wrong
Bring an umbrella because...
Bitch, it's raining now.
I need my car back.
I've sold the junk.
I will send a check for $ 37.
That's below the Blue Book number!
Hannah!
Christian, you must let me go.
Please, listen to me!
No, you listen to me.
You will find someone. Someone who wants...
... with all the degrading things you want to do to them.
Hannah!
Christian.
Oh
Ah!
Gosh!
How can he love you? He doesn't even love himself.
Do you see the haircut?
How can you think this will end well?
Never look back.
Christian.
Hannah.
While I run down 47 stairs,...
... I have enough time to think.
And when I passed the 23rd floor, I realized that I owe an apology.
I just want to apologize because of the way I treat you.
Especially all about water.
It turns out you're right about bin Laden.
- Who knows? - Every one.
Hmm?
You hurt me, Christian.
I know. But I have a softer lash.
Do you know hairy and pink?
Not too stinging.
That's not what I'm talking about.
- You want romance. - I deserve it.
Well, what's more romantic...
... rather than running down 47 stairs?
Do you know I've been paralyzed?
Are you dead?
No, but that will make from the Red Room at least a week.
Dah, bitch.
OK. Hannah, wait. Hannah!
No, Christian. You can't afford...
... has a normal relationship.
I know, but I'm trying, okay?
I want to be like that old man whose wife has Alzheimer's,...
... and he wakes up every day...
... and he tells stories about their lives together.
Then they fall asleep, but they don't wake up.
Because they have died.
That's from "The Notebook."
That's what Ryan Gosling plays and a woman with a big butt?
Oh
He never forgets it.
You don't even like Nicholas Sparks films.
I used to hate him, but now I love him.
Even "The Last Song."
Why does it even become a movie?
Do you know it's not even a book?
If I will give you another chance, all must be different.
I know.
There are very important things that I want to tell.
I am...
I...
What I'm trying to say, I love...
Empire.
The cake made me say crazy things.
OK.
I love you.
I know you love me.
I have one last surprise for you.
But you have to pack.
Are we going to ride your private jet?
Gosh, what kind of jet is that?
No, no. Do not say. I want it to be a surprise.
Ah!
I can't believe you thought I would take you on a private jet.
I love you so much, but you don't even have a wedding ring yet.
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