* Silent Night
* Holy Night
* All is calm
* All is bright
* Round yon virgin
* Mother and child
* Holy infant so tender and mild
* Sleep in heavenly peace
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
- How's your day?
- Interesting. - Ha.
- Where's Homicide?
- They're dragging ass as usual.
So, here's what we got:
Santa Claus there is your trigger man,
his real name is Randall Edwards.
The clerk is, was Heather Harrington, she's DOA.
Ambulance is in route, there's no sign of the money yet
and this one was a silent alarm.
- Just another Christmas Eve, huh?
- Oh, yeah, and get this, Santa Claus says he didn't do it.
- Of course he didn't, how could he?
He's out delivering all those toys, right?
- Huh, joker.
- Hey, you want a candy cane?
- No, man. - Ah, come on.
- No, no, no.
- I'm going in. - How's Julia?
- Oh, she loves Christmas.
- At least somebody does.
- What the hell are you doing in my crime scene?
Shouldn't you be on the street
controlling the crowds, officer?
- Am I in uniform?
- Yeah, congratulations, now step off.
Last thing I need is a DA up my ass
'cause some dumb shit trampled my scene, let's go.
- Pardon me, Serpico.
- What was that?
- Nothing.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
- It's Heather Harrington.
- What?
- Her name, just thought you might wanna know.
My mistake.
- Get him the hell outta here.
- 'Cause, see, I would wanna know.
Because tomorrow somebody who knows her
is gonna have a very unmerry Christmas.
- You done? - Yeah, he's done.
He's done, come on.
- How do you just waltz in these crime scenes?
You see a young girl murdered, you don't feel a thing?
Is that part of the job description?
The application say, homicide detectives,
all must be diagnosed sociopaths?
- Control, six Lincoln 20, code seven.
- Roger 20, code seven approved.
Bring back something tasty, okay, honey?
- Don't I always, Julia?
20 out.
Heads, I'll do it.
Best two out of three.
- Merry Christmas.
That's for the children.
- Merry Christmas.
And happy new year.
- Ugh! - Whoa, whoa.
- Goddamn! - You hurt?
You'll be all right.
Take it easy next time.
- There won't be a next time.
- You're too young for makeup.
- No, I know.
But I also saw this dog at the pet store and I want it.
- Evening.
What can I get for you?
Christopher.
- Hey, Mom.
- What are you doing here?
- I just happened to be in the neighborhood,
thought I would stop by.
- Ah, hmm, just happened today?
- I know, what are the odds?
- Remote.
- Probably.
- So, how are things with you?
- Never better.
- Last thing I pegged you being was a cop.
- Hmm, yeah, it makes two of us.
It's detective now.
- Ah, detective.
Well, I guess you didn't stop by for the conversation,
did you?
- It's actually my dinner break,
so I thought I would kill two birds with one stone.
- Same old?
- Mm-hmm, times two.
- I think your eyes are bigger than your stomach.
- Second one is not for me.
- A girl?
Are you?
- Yeah.
- Mmm.
- In fact, I might propose to her.
Maybe even tonight.
- Hmm, Christmas present.
- Something like that.
- Is that why you stopped by, to tell me?
- No.
So, how's work?
- Never changes.
I had a couple of chuds in here earlier, yeah,
same old kinda night.
- You don't get a lot of customers on Christmas Eve, huh?
- No.
Not really.
- How are you holding up, Mom?
- I'm good.
Everything is fine.
- Saw those when I walked in.
- What?
Ah, yeah.
- Started smoking again, huh?
- Yeah, a few years ago.
- You said you'd quit.
- Couple of times.
- Didn't take, huh?
- Didn't feel the need after you left.
I only quit for you.
- I don't understand why you would start up smoking again.
Especially after what happened to Dad.
- Okay, now you don't talk about things
you know nothing about.
- Is that the same tree?
First grade, right?
Wow. - Yeah.
Been a long time since I had a real Christmas tree in here.
- It's festive.
- Mom, when is Daddy coming?
- He's coming, baby, you gotta be patient, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay, Chris.
Let's be honest.
What are you really doing here?
- I just wanted to say,
Merry Christmas, Mom.
- Well, thank you.
Merry Christmas to you too.
- Thank you.
I gotta hit the road.
- Oh, wait, what about your food?
- She'll understand.
- Oh, well, um.
In that case, it was really nice seeing you.
Unless there's something you wanna say.
- Like what?
- Not for me to say.
- Is this about Dad?
'Cause I'm not in the mood for games.
You want something from me?
- Oh, no, there's nothing I want from you.
Nothing.
- Okay, so, that's it.
If there's something on your mind,
now's the time to say it.
- You didn't even ask about him.
- I didn't need to, Mom.
When the door opened and I saw you and not him, I knew.
- You know, before the funeral, I sent you that letter.
He wanted to see you just one last time before he passed.
- I didn't read it.
- Did you even open it?
- Thought about it.
- That's just so typical.
You just can't be wrong.
- That's what you want.
You just want me to say that I was wrong and--
- No, how about we just start off with I'm sorry?
You can't say those two little words.
Nope, because you're just, you're too damn,
you're too damn stubborn.
- No, I'm not.
- Not what?
Not stubborn or not wrong?
- Pick one, I gotta go to work.
- Okay, Chris, don't.
Please don't leave, we can fix this.
Just, you just have to try.
- Just because you won't let me forget what I did wrong
doesn't mean that I don't spend every day
wishing I could change it.
But I can't go back in the past, Mom.
And I've come to accept that.
Why can't you?
- No, Chris, wait!
- Gee.
Control, six Lincoln 20, code seven over, over?
- Roger, 20.
Are you okay, Chris?
- Negative, Control, 20 out.
Why couldn't I just say, I'm sorry?
I'm sorry.
See?
I'm sorry.
Jesus!
- Christopher!
- Turn the vehicle off, please.
- Yes, sir.
Well, I guess I was wrong.
The diner.
I said there wasn't gonna be a next time.
- You know how fast you were going?
- Uh, no.
- You could have killed somebody.
Something funny?
- No, sir.
- What's the deal with those?
- Those, just some side work I do.
Irrigation, stuff like that.
- License and registration.
- Sure thing.
- What was that?
- I don't know.
- Pop the trunk.
Now! - Yes, sir.
- Now! - Yes, sir.
- Yeah, that's how my son was,
really disrespectful and stubborn,
always wanting someone at his beck and call.
- You're talking about him in the past tense.
- Yeah, I haven't talked to him in years.
That's just how it is.
- Sorry about that.
- Evening, sir.
Take a seat anywhere, I'll be in in a second.
- Hey.
So, get any good shots?
- Couple.
- They gonna make you rich and famous?
- I doubt I'll be as famous as Avedon
but it's an interesting hobby.
- So you're just gonna be one of those starving artists?
- Are we starving?
- No, no thanks to you.
- What's that mean?
- I hate to break it to you
but your trust ain't gonna last forever.
- You know, you're one of a handful of people
who believes that seven figures won't last a lifetime.
- At the rate you spend it?
- On you.
- Oh.
You're regretting it yet?
- Course not, I love you.
- Sasha Harrington Carlisle.
Geez.
I sound like I was born with a silver spoon up my ass.
- We talked about this, no hyphens.
- Uh, yeah, hyphens.
Consider yourself lucky.
I was gonna keep my last name.
Taking the groom's name?
It's too fucking patriarchal.
- You don't want my name?
- In Korea,
wives don't take their husbands' last name.
- I didn't know we lived in Korea, which Korea?
- The good one.
So, my David, I've been meaning to ask you something.
- Yeah.
- This brooding photographer shit is for the birds.
When are you gonna get a real job?
- A real job.
Refresh my memory.
- I know this is a very foreign concept to you,
but most people tend to leave their house
for eight hours a day, five days a week,
and they go to this magical, faraway land called work.
And they make money.
- Is that so?
Maybe I got left out of the loop, huh?
- David, I'm serious.
You hanging around the house all day is kinda fucked up
when I have to go and work.
- What's bothering you more?
That you're working or that I'm not?
- Both.
- You wanna switch?
- No, I just wanna be equal.
* Fa la la la la, la la la la
* Tis the season to be jolly
* Fa la la la la, la la la la
* Don we now our gay apparel
David, are you listening to me?
David.
- Not really.
- Hi, I'm sorry for the delay.
I hope I didn't keep you too long.
There you go, it's on the house, Merry Christmas.
- Appreciate it.
- Oh, well, thank you.
Would you like some food, dessert?
- I think we'll need a minute or two.
- Oh, okay, just let me know.
* Join the triumph of the skies
* With angelic host proclaim
* Christ is born in Bethlehem
* Hark, the herald angels sing
* Glory to the newborn King
- Good stuff, ladies. - All right.
- So, hot chocolate?
- Yes, sounds good.
- All right, let's get a move on.
I caught you trying to sneak a peek earlier.
Now, what would Mrs. Claus have to say about that?
- Well, she is the jealous type, so--
- Got you by the balls?
- Ice grip.
- Ugh!
- So, all this?
Why do you do it?
- For the kids.
- You have kids?
- A charity.
It's just a small way that I give back.
On the streets, kids don't have much to look forward to
this time of year.
I'm Lena.
- Jason.
- Pleasure.
- So, got any plans for Christmas?
Maybe besides this, obviously.
- Very little.
I'm a full blown Heeb.
- Yeah, I'm not really a big man upstairs kinda guy.
- Just because I'm into the Tanakh
doesn't mean I can't give you New Testament boy some love.
- So.
You doing anything after?
- Just him.
- Ha.
- It was nice to meet you, Jason.
And good luck with the collection.
- David.
David, I'm not fucking around, please.
- Debatable.
- Bullshit.
You treat me like your fucking pet.
While I'm at work,
you hang around on the sofa watching movies
or doing whatever the fuck you do on that couch.
- I read, too, sometimes.
Besides, how would you know?
If you're at work?
- Because you're always still watching them
when I come back.
- Oh, really?
You're really tugging at the heartstrings here.
I mean, those starving kids in Africa got nothing on you.
- That's not fair.
- Life is not fair.
I pay for the house, I pay for my car, paid off your car.
The one you handpicked, by the way.
Got you that rock you love to flaunt so fucking much.
And all your jewelry, and your spa treatments,
whatever the hell they are.
And in return, you pay the groceries.
Which I cook.
And the utilities.
Is that so tough?
Because if it is, you're free to walk.
And with your propensity for being the village bicycle
back in the day,
you should have no trouble hooking up somewhere.
So don't pretend you're Mother Teresa
and you don't give a damn about money,
because I know you, Sasha.
And despite your contempt for me,
I would prefer you stay because I love you
regardless how you feel about me.
- You sure know how to show it.
- Don't you think
I wish you loved me the same way I loved you.
- Meaning what?
- Let's just say you love your low cut tops
and you're getting dolled up all the time
but you're not doing it for me.
- So you think I'm screwing other guys behind your back?
- I just think that you like looking your best
and I look like a waste of time.
- In a T-shirt.
- It's a heat wave.
You wanna get outta here?
You're always doing that.
- Why didn't you park in the lot?
- 'Cause I couldn't find a spot.
- You and your old man car.
- Let's not start that again.
- And it looks really bad when you park on the driveway,
you know? - What, next to your Lexus?
- It's a Mercedes.
- I'm gonna pretend I didn't blatantly hear you
dissing my car.
- Would I do that?
- Wait, wait, I've got a present for you.
- Okay, thank you. - It's in the trunk.
- Can we go?
Please. - It's in the trunk.
- Come on, David, I'm sweating.
- Let's open it here. - I'm gonna get cholera!
Standing in this Christmas heat wave.
- Christmas heat wave.
You don't get cholera from heat, you get it from bad water.
- Okay, I will open it, okay?
- You know, I think it's some of my best work.
- When did you take those? - I took them last night.
Isn't that something?
Santa came early.
Here, I thought you weren't the intimate type
Is this one of those it's-not-me-it's-you things
or it's-not-you-it's-me things, whatever the fuck it is?
- How could you do that? - How could I?
How could I?
I'm so glad you asked me that.
I mean, while you were kissing him in the dark,
I had to open the aperture to an f-3.5.
The ISO was a bitch. - David.
- But I got there-- - David, stop!
- When I told you I loved you, it wasn't bullshit.
But you never loved me, did you?
Did you? - Of course I did.
- Past tense.
- I still do.
- Get your hands off me.
I don't know what hurts more.
You lying with a straight face
or me wishing I could believe you.
- Sorry, babe.
So sorry.
I've been meaning to do this for a long time.
- You wanna kill me?
You wanna kill me?
Okay, let's go.
- She's done for, buddy.
Snap out of it, we got work to do.
First things first, okay?
You can't stay out here in this heat like this.
You're gonna need a fucking IV
to replace all the fluids you lost.
Where you going?
All right, it's cool, man, no hurry.
I'll stay here and keep watch.
- Lose something?
- Oh.
- Geez, what happened?
- Oh, I didn't know, I tripped.
- Tripped on what?
- Oh, it's kinda stupid, really.
Thanks.
- Yeah, sure.
Merry Christmas.
- Ugh! - Whoa, whoa.
- Goddamn! - You hurt?
You'll be all right.
Take it easy next time.
- There won't be a next time.
- Camera's not the hope diamond, buddy.
You can always buy a new one.
- If I had left it there, it would have been suspicious.
- Well, body-checking a cop is pretty suspicious too.
Don't you think?
I don't think Sleeping Beauty
is gonna wake up from that one, mm-mm.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Oh, testy, huh?
That's what I love about you, Davy.
You hit all the stages, boom, boom, boom, boom.
One after the other.
What, huh?
You should be happy.
Acceptance is the final stage.
- No more fucking chat, shut the fuck up!
- Why you getting all riled up, huh?
I mean, you should be grateful, dick.
- Oh, fuck.
- We better get her out of here.
She looks so peaceful, don't you think?
All right, let's roll.
I bet you 20 bucks I find it first.
- I don't even own a shovel.
- Of course you do.
It's one of those things everyone has
stashed away somewhere.
Aha, and I'm the type of guy who's gonna say, I told you so.
- Let's go.
- Hold on a second.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's nice.
- Are you fucking crazy?
- Ha, hardly.
- I'm not chopping her up.
- So, look.
We go out there, dig a hole, we'll put her in.
- Right.
- Then, we'll cut her into teeny, tiny pieces.
- I'm not doing that, I told you,
I'm not cutting her up, all right?
Jesus!
- See, this is why I hate hanging out with you, Dave.
You never wanna have no fun.
- Being psychotic is fun to you.
- Well, here's what's psychotic.
You fucking sitting around all day watching action movies
and never doing anything with your life.
- I'm happy.
- Look at you lying.
Nobody could be happy doing what you do.
- I suppose all things considered, it's not too bad.
- What would you do if Mommy and Daddy were still alive
and you didn't have this nice little nest egg?
You'd be doing the same fucking thing you're doing now.
Nothing, nada, ha.
- I can't believe she did that to me.
Oh, you knew.
- What does he have that I don't?
- Sense humor, massive cock.
Sounds like me, don't you think?
- Shut the fuck up.
- You better slow down.
You're driving a little too fucking fast.
- I'm not.
- You're driving too fast, okay?
See, I told you you were driving too fast.
- Fuck.
- I can't fucking believe you.
- You're distracting me.
- Oh my god.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Oh, geez.
Just be cool, man.
We're not going to jail.
- We are if he find that fucking body.
- I'm not going to jail,
hence, we're not going to jail, get it?
- Don't do anything.
- Oh, trust me.
Hey, you want me to handle this?
'Cause I can play nice.
- I think you've done enough for one night.
I don't want you screwing this up.
- Screwing what up, huh?
- Shut up.
- You shut up.
- Turn the vehicle off, please.
- Yes, sir.
I guess I was wrong.
The diner.
I said there wasn't gonna be a next time.
- You know how fast you were going?
- No.
- You could have killed someone.
- Slow your roll, Mr. Police Officer.
Close only counts in horseshoes, grenades, and nuclear war.
- Something funny?
- No, sir.
- You ran a red light while speeding
in an urban center, and you're laughing about it.
- I'm not.
I wasn't paying attention, I'm really, really sorry.
- Don't apologize to this prick.
Take him out so we can get back to business.
- What do you do with those?
- Those, just some side work I do.
Irrigation, stuff like that.
- License and registration.
- Oh, this must be serious.
Officer of the law, emotion forbidden.
- What's that?
- I don't know.
- Pop the trunk, now.
- You should take him out for your own good.
Take him out.
You heard him.
- Now!
- Now's not the time to ponder
your shitty life choices, okay?
All right, let's go.
- I'm sorry.
This is not working out, you, me, us.
- Breaking up with me, Davy? - I'm serious.
Every time I listen to you, things turn to shit.
- Well, whose fault is that?
Yours or mine?
- Mine.
I don't wanna see you anymore.
I want you to go away.
- You just can't wish me into a cornfield, Davy.
Doesn't work that way.
- But I can sure as hell try.
- You'll die without me. - No.
Ever since the beginning,
I just wanted to do the right thing.
I find someone who truly makes me happy and you blow that.
You can't stand the fact
that you're not the most important thing in my life.
I have things I want that don't include you.
Maybe,
maybe one day things will change.
But they won't until you give me some space.
Just for a while, okay?
Just for a while.
Just for a while, please.
Okay.
Goodbye, Vince.
* Hallelujah
* Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
- You're welcome.
- You're late.
- Dude, whatever.
Are you the guy or not?
I don't got time for this shit.
- I'm the guy.
I never shake the devil's hand.
You realize I was about two seconds
from walking out that door?
- No chains on that booth.
- No money at yours.
- It's coming.
- Is it gonna be here sometime between now and New Year's?
- Have faith.
- In you?
Not in your fucking life.
So, what kept you?
- Traffic.
- A lot of traffic on that sidewalk?
- Being in a hurry is not a big priority to me.
- That I can work with.
- So?
Are we doing this?
- If I get my money.
So long as we're clear on that fact.
- That's not clear for a second.
We haven't discussed a price yet, just your startup cash.
- And? - And how much is it?
- Does it matter?
If I told you it were a million dollars right now,
you'd find a way.
- I don't know where I'd find a million.
- The same place you're gonna find 38 grand.
- Oh, wow.
That's a little higher than I expected.
I was thinking five, maybe 10.
- You thought wrong.
My usual fee, 25.
Plus a 50% markup 'cause I just don't like you.
Totals 38.
- I don't know if I can swing that.
- You'll find a way.
Wouldn't wanna waste my time or anything.
- Not if I can help it.
- See?
You're lying again.
Trust me, dishonesty doesn't suit you.
10 minutes.
- I don't know what's keeping him.
- Him?
- My contact.
- Okay, well, does nebulous contact
know you're on the clock, right?
- He's gonna get you your money.
- I'm a patient person.
Tolerant, even.
But there's a big difference
between patient with a first-timer
and a client who's a disorganized,
- Gold digger?
- No gal pays someone else to off their spouse
unless there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Just pointing that out.
- Still, it doesn't matter.
I'm your client and you work for me.
- Not till I take your money, I don't.
I'm walking at 6:30, money or not, got me?
6:21, plenty of time.
- And I prefer not to spend it in this shithole diner.
- Sorry for the delay.
I was a little tied up.
You guys ready to order?
- Not hungry.
- We're gonna be open for a little bit,
in case you change your mind.
- It's okay.
I suspect I'll be leaving pretty soon.
- And you?
- Maybe later.
- Maybe later, then.
- I'm gonna head to the little girls' room, okay?
- Good, get lost.
- You got this.
You're fronting the money, you're taking the risk.
We're doing things my way.
I'm not gonna let you push me around.
My money, my deal.
I demand a better deal.
I'm getting a better deal.
- Thought you fell in.
- New price, 10 grand, and it's not up for discussion.
- What the hell happened in there?
- I think it's fair.
- And this is your expert opinion about these matters?
- I know what's right is right.
- There you go waving that word around again.
- I gave you a chance to do the right thing.
You didn't, now I have to.
- You wouldn't the right thing
if some fellow stuck it in your G-string.
- Been checking on me?
- Hey, I don't judge.
- Can we turn on the AC in here, please?
- It's busted.
- Of course it is.
- What?
Can't take the heat?
- What do you do with the money anyways?
You stack it in a safe or something?
Hang on to it for a rainy day?
- Why are you having me waste your beloved?
- The dude is fucking cuckoo.
- Guys are simple.
I had this job a couple years back.
Guy wanted me to take out his wife.
You know, whatever, standard job, get it all the time.
This bald, lanky, Coke-bottle glasses wearing motherfucker
would spend his whole day sitting on his ass
playing computer games.
His wife was an obstetrician, pretty gal.
Never made the runway, but from what I hear,
her IQ is the 4th percentile.
She would have been going places, not for that long.
So one day they have an argument.
One thing leads to another
and she put the proverbial gun to his head and says,
"You got two choices, get a job or get out."
So, he gave me a call.
- Did you do it?
- Didn't have to.
The guy up and keeled over
the day before we were supposed to meet.
Pulmonary embolism.
Turns out you can only sit on your ass for so long
before life catches up with you.
- And why are you so happy about it?
The guy died.
- Two reasons, his death was no big loss,
and his wife kept up her end of the bargain.
To death do them part.
I still keep tabs on her from time to time.
She's doing better.
- Would you have done it?
- If he hadn't curled?
I think about that sometimes.
- What's your family think of what you do?
They must be so proud.
- A lot of people hate their jobs.
But they still do them.
I'm no different.
- He's here.
- He's not here until he's here.
Three.
Two.
Nah, you know what?
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't care.
Go ahead, Romeo, scratch away.
- Nothing.
- I'm gonna consider this a victory.
It's been a pleasure.
It hasn't.
- We're not done yet.
- You're entitled to your opinion.
- Thank you, Jason.
- I like your lap dog.
He knows when to keep his mouth shut.
- This is a big operation.
I don't know what to tell you, Randy,
but we don't exactly need Santas after Christmas.
- It's Randall.
Don't call me Randy.
And yeah, I get it, but come on, Barrett.
- Look, I like you, I always have.
But revenues are down.
You know if I had something it would be yours,
you know that.
But there's no money.
No money, no jobs.
- I appreciate that, but-- - No buts.
That's it.
Look, if anything opens up, you're at the top of my list.
Till then.
- So where does that leave me?
- Somewhere else.
- You know, I just, I don't accept that.
I will do anything, anything.
I'll pick up garbage with a pointy stick.
- Hey, I had to let go of three maintenance workers
just last week.
- Do you remember that story on the news a while back
about the, I don't know, it was like,
78 people stood in line all day
for a temp job washing dishes?
- Yeah, sure.
- Guys with degrees got passed over for that.
What chance do I have out there
with things like that going on?
- I couldn't tell ya.
But you're resourceful.
I have faith in ya.
- I can't buy food with faith, Barrett.
- Yeah, I know.
- Fine.
I'll just knock off a bank or something,
maybe that will keep my family fed for a couple of weeks.
- Don't talk like that.
You don't mean that.
It's counterproductive.
You're a good man, you work hard, you'll find a job.
- We'll see.
- Yeah, it's Barrett.
Hey, hon, no.
Yeah, no, no.
That's fine.
Yeah, no, nothing really that important.
Hold on a sec.
Hey, just bring that outfit back when you get a chance,
all right?
No rush, Randy.
Mm-hmm.
- You never agreed to my condition.
- Still sore over that?
- If you're not doing it, hand over my bag.
- Yours?
Shit!
You are delusional.
What constitutes yours?
I want this, so it's mine.
Why did he not go over to get it anyway?
'Cause he sure as fuck didn't scrape it together
by his lonesome.
- Couldn't tell ya.
- Sure, just like you don't know whether or not
you're gonna dump your little boy toy
the second you get all your dead bull's money.
- You're so clever, aren't you?
- See you in Lyon, I'll bring the croissants.
- The bag stays.
- You realize there's no going back now.
- Change the price.
- All right, 10 grand.
- Good.
I'd ask you to shake on it,
but I know how you feel about it.
Here's to hoping we never speak again.
- De gratia.
- Hey.
So, get any good shots?
- Couple.
- They're gonna make you rich and famous?
- I doubt I'll be as famous as Avedon,
but it's an interesting hobby.
- Randy!
Don't!
Dry cleaning!
- Don't call me Randy!
- I was serious, man!
You mess that up, I'll have to send you the bill, all right?
- You know what?
You don't like what I'm doing
to your precious little fucking outfit?
Then you go ahead and bill me.
You bought it on clearance at Sears, fake fucking suit!
Don't look at me that way!
- Merry fucking Christmas!
* What is it about this time of year
* Keeps us so happy and on a cheer
* Wherever you go there's people smiling
* 'Cause it's Christmastime
* And we're feeling fine
* Share a little bit of magic with me
* Whistle throughout the land
* Christmas is a time when the love light shines
* Go on and build that big snowman
* Share a little bit of magic with me
* Whistle throughout the land
* Christmas is a time when the love light shines
* Watching the snow flakes melt in my hand
* What is it about this time of year
* The firelight warms away our fears
* Sharing the songs that ring inside us
* 'Cause it's Christmastime
* And we're feeling fine
* Share a little bit of magic with me
* Whistle throughout the land
- So your lady friend is running late, huh?
- Yeah.
Hoping she doesn't show.
- Nervous about it?
- Can I get a glass of orange juice?
- Sure.
I hope you don't mind me prying, it's just my nature.
* Christmas is a time when the love light shines
* Watching the snow flakes melt in my hand
- You're a little early, Santa.
- Any chance you're hiring?
- Mm, no.
- Ever?
- Times are tough, but I can see what I can do.
Don't run off with that pen, that's my favorite.
You okay?
I mean, for real?
- Sure.
It's just been a tough couple weeks.
- Yeah, I hear ya.
Well, don't rush, take your time.
- Yeah, people keep telling me that.
- Telling you what?
- Never mind.
- Okay.
I'll be damned if I'm gonna let Santa
walk into my diner on Christmas Eve
looking like he just got a lump of coal in his stocking.
- It's really not necessary.
- Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
I'll leave you to do that.
- Yeah.
- Where are you?
- I just had to make a quick stop.
- You're not at the?
Randy? - No.
No, of course not.
- You swear?
- I am not drinking.
I swear on my goddamn life, I swear on Abby's life.
- Randy, don't blaspheme, you know better.
- I know, I know, I'm sorry.
- How did it go with Barrett?
- Well, I mean, best case scenario
I'm gonna be the Easter Bunny.
- April?
- Yeah, last time I checked.
- So?
- So, I'm trying.
It's gonna take some time.
- Then try harder.
- Kasey, I know, okay?
Look, I'll be home soon, okay?
- All right, bye.
- My condolences.
That sounded rough.
- Yeah, I bet.
- Hey, it's Christmas.
Everybody is miserable at Christmas.
- Tell me about it.
You're welcome.
- Mommy, can I talk to Daddy?
- Sure, baby.
- Yeah.
- It's me again.
- Yeah, what's up?
- Abby wants to talk to you.
- Just tell her I'll be home in a few.
Kasey?
- Hi, Daddy.
- Oh, hey, kiddo.
Merry almost Christmas.
- When are you coming home?
- I'll be home in a little bit.
- Can you come home now?
- Oh, you know what, honey, I can't right now.
I got something I gotta do first.
- After?
- Yeah, definitely, definitely.
So, you excited for Santa to come?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
You think he's gonna bring you something good?
- I don't think so.
- Oh, why not?
You've been a good girl all year, haven't you?
- Does Santa ever bring money?
- Money?
Why would you want money over some awesome toys?
I mean, that's just nonsense, baby.
- I want money so we can pay doctors
so they can make me all better.
- Abby, I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay?
Your mommy and me, we got all that worked out, okay?
I mean, you don't have to worry about any of that.
Whatever it takes, we're gonna take care of you,
you hear me?
Whatever it takes.
Now, what do you wanna do about supper tonight, mm?
We can go anywhere you want, anywhere.
- Maggie's, I want mashed potatoes.
- Mashed potatoes, yes, then that's it,
that's what we'll do, Maggie's, yeah.
Hey, honey, will you put your mom back on, please?
- Okay, Daddy.
- Yeah.
- What the hell was that about?
- Gimme one sec, okay?
Honey, why don't you go get ready, okay?
So we can leave.
- Kase?
- Yeah, I'm here.
- How does she know about that?
- I don't know,
she must have overheard us at the appointment today.
- But you reassured her, right?
- Yep, I lied.
- Hey, hey, it's not lying, you hear me?
It's not lying, everything is gonna be okay.
- How can you say that?
- Okay, just hang on a second.
Let me get off the road.
Okay, there we go.
But listen, I mean it, everything's gonna fine.
- Fine?
We don't have money coming in for months, Randy.
- Look, there's still a lot of places out there
that are hiring.
- As a burger flipper making two bucks an hour?
- As opposed to what, huh?
You think I was rolling in cash playing Santa for a month?
- Well, no.
Where are you now?
- Just outside some liquor store.
- What?
What the hell are you doing there?
- I think I got a way
for us to get some money for Abby's treatment.
I just gotta make it through the holidays
and we can talk about it later, okay?
- All right.
Are you gonna meet us there?
- At Maggie's, yeah.
I'll be there in 10 or 15 minutes.
- All right.
I love you.
Bye.
- Hey.
- Drop the weapon! - Down now!
- Drop the weapon!
Put your hands up! - Hands up!
- Let me see your hands!
Let me see your hands!
Hands behind your head! - Hey, hey, it wasn't me.
- Watch the gun.
- It's not mine, there was a guy.
- Yeah, yeah, right, shut the hell up.
- No, I'm telling you, there was a guy.
He was robbing the store.
- Yes, there is, yes, he was.
Hand behind your back, there we go.
Hold right there, don't you fucking move.
All right, you got the gun? - Got it.
- Good, stand up.
- It wasn't me.
- You got a name?
- Yeah, Randall.
Randall Edwards, but you got the wrong guy.
I swear I wasn't robbing the goddamn store.
- Yeah, just like it wasn't your goddamn gun.
- It's not, I don't even believe in them.
Listen to me, there was a guy who tear-assed outta here,
and I heard three shots.
- Watch your head. - Listen to me.
There was one, and then there was two back to back
and then he came out and took off
and then you guys showed up.
- You got a description of this guy?
- Yeah, he's a white guy, kinda young,
and he's wearing a Santa suit also.
- So you're saying that two guys in Santa suits
just happened to be at the same store at the same time?
- It's Christmas.
- Look, Randall, you're under arrest for armed robbery.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used--
- Just stop.
- Excuse me?
- Don't bother, man.
- So, let's be clear.
You're waiving your Miranda rights, right?
- Yeah, just please stop.
- Okay, Randy, listen, if we dust that gun,
whose prints are gonna come back?
- Mine, let me explain.
He came out of the store and dropped it.
I accidentally picked it up.
- You accidentally picked it up?
Get the fuck outta here.
You know, if you make this easy on me,
I'll make it easy on you.
- James. - Yeah.
- Clerk's down.
She's already gone, I called it in.
- You get a name?
- Heather Harrington.
- Was that you, Randy?
I got an alarm, I got a gun, I got a dead woman,
and I got you, look at me, goddammit!
And you're telling me this was some other Santa Claus
and some astrological event happened or something like that.
You wanna try me again, Randy?
- Don't call me Randy.
- All right, whatever.
Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- How's your day?
- Interesting. - Ha.
- Where's Homicide?
- They're dragging ass as usual.
So, here's what we got:
Santa Claus there is your trigger man.
his real name is Randall Edwards.
The clerk is, was Heather Harrington, she's DOA.
Ambulance is in route, there's no sign of the money yet
and this one was a silent alarm.
- Just another Christmas Eve, huh?
- Bad day?
- Huh?
- Normally, when I get guys in here on Christmas,
it's not 'cause they're having a good day,
you know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah, just one of those days.
- Maybe you're looking for a little pick-me-up?
Not like that, you perv.
- No, no, I'm okay. - Come on, it's on me.
Unless you wanna keep being a sad sack,
but to tell you the truth,
I'm gonna try and polish off this bottle myself, so.
Don't even worry about it, it hasn't worked in years.
You're not much of a drinker, are you?
- Not really.
- The second one always goes down easier.
Is that your girlfriend?
- How'd you know?
- Don't you know?
We all got intuition about these things.
- Yeah, she said something like that.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm guessing the love boat is sinking, though, right?
- Why would you say that?
- Well, you're here.
- Yeah.
She kinda asked me to.
- Mm, it's my kinda girl.
You wanna hook me up with her digits?
- You ever, uh.
I mean.
You love someone
but you hate how they make you feel.
- So why stay with them?
Look, no, no, no.
I'm the worst person you should ask to for advice.
I mean, my last boyfriend was like a serial cheater.
And I ain't got no family, except for my sister,
but I haven't talked to her in years.
- Okay, well, let's just say for argument sake
that's all moot.
- All right, so if she's more of a ball and chain
than she is a magnet, just dump her.
I mean, unless you're Hindu, you only got one shot at life,
so why spend it with someone who makes you feel like shit,
you know?
- Because I love her.
- Look, you ain't got to tell me that, all right?
If you love her, make sure you show her,
show her how you feel.
Don't just recite the words.
Just don't become a slave to her is all.
- Thanks for the pep talk.
- Heather.
- Yeah, yeah.
I got that from your name tag.
- I'm John.
- John?
Okay, John, you don't have to lie to me, John.
I don't judge.
- What do you mean?
- Shh, intuition, remember?
All right, so, it's gonna be
13.95, John.
Don't be a stranger, John.
- Could I get a lottery ticket?
- Yeah, you want a nice purple one?
- Yeah, whatever is cheapest.
- Okay, so.
What are you doing?
- I'm sorry, I need the money.
- All right-- - Okay, shut up, okay?
Just do it.
- And we'll both just pretend like this never happened, all right?
- Look, shut up. - You don't have to do--
- Just shut up, okay?
- Please.
- As soon as I get the money, I'm outta here.
- No, no, no, that's not enough.
I need at least three grand from that safe.
- We don't even keep that much in here.
- Well, then give me what you do have.
- Why you doing this, all right?
- It doesn't matter.
- It does matter because you could just walk away.
- No, I can't.
I love her.
- She's making you do this?
- Stop fucking stalling.
- I don't know why you just don't go to the cops.
I mean, she's obviously blackmailing you, right?
- Oh, no, fuck!
I'm sorry, no, no, no.
Stay with me.
Stay with me, come on!
I'm so sorry!
No!
Fuck!
Goddammit!
- Hey.
- Nah, you know what?
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't care.
Go ahead, Romeo, scratch away.
- Nothing.
- I'm gonna consider this a victory.
It's been a pleasure.
It hasn't.
- We're not done yet.
- You're entitled to your opinion.
- Thank you, Jason.
- I like your lap dog.
He knows when to keep his mouth shut.
- Come on, Davy.
You can dig better than that.
Come on, faster!
Dig, motherfucker, come on!
* Holy Night
Dig that hole, move, move!
See, that's what you get for not wanting to chop her up.
Now you gotta dig a bigger hole.
* All is bright
* Round yon Virgin
* Mother and Child
- Santa!
- Hey, kiddo, Merry Christmas!
- Mom, he called me kiddo just like Daddy does.
- I heard him, baby.
- Are you really Santa?
You don't look like him.
- I don't?
Why do you say that?
- You just don't. - Abby.
- Huh, I kinda like that.
You got me, I'm not Santa.
But you've seen a lot of Santas around town, right?
Stores, malls, stuff like that, right?
- My daddy does that. - Yes, he does.
- Yeah, Santa Claus, right?
He's awesome, he's magical and shit, I mean, stuff.
But let's face it, Santa Claus,
he can't be at all places at all times.
So he needs helpers.
Like your daddy and me.
- You know what I want for Christmas?
- I couldn't tell you, but if you tell me,
I'll make sure the big guy gets the memo, okay, Abby?
- Mommy, he knows my name! - He does.
- Go ahead.
- Well, Santa's got his work cut out for him.
But I'll make sure Santa Claus knows to do his best, okay?
- Okay.
- Abby, why don't you go inside, get us a table?
I'm gonna have a little talk here with Santa's helper, okay?
- Okay, Mommy.
- Hey, look.
I'm sorry if I got too close.
- No, you seem good with kids.
- How long has your daughter been?
- Sick?
Four months, this time.
- It's nothing to be ashamed about.
I understand.
- No, you don't understand.
And I praise God every single day for each person
who doesn't understand.
- How much does all that medical stuff cost?
- Too much.
I should get going, she's probably looking for me, so.
- Wait.
Take this.
Just take it.
- I can't take this from you.
- I don't want it. - Why?
- It doesn't matter, okay?
Just make sure-- - It's $250,000!
- Just make sure that you help your kid with that.
- Mom, when are you coming?
- I'm coming, baby, I'm coming, Abby.
I'll be right there.
I don't know what to give you.
I don't know, I have nothing to give you but this
and you need to take this.
It's what's right.
Merry Christmas.
- You know what your daughter wanted for Christmas?
She said she just wants to be normal
like all the other kids.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
* Silent Night
* Holy Night
* All is calm
* All is bright
- Oh my god.
Is he?
- Call 911.
Call 911.
- Dissing my car. - Would I.
- You wanna kill me?
Okay, let's go.
- Fuck!
Fuck!
- Merry Christmas, girls.
Mashed potatoes?
And chicken pot pie.
- Do you know of a man, came in here in the last hour or so?
- Well, I've had my share tonight.
What's your type?
- Mid-40s, a big haggard.
- Dressed like Santa Claus?
- That's him.
- Yeah, he was in right before six,
he asked for a job application and then he just took off.
Oh, you know what, he did leave this behind.
- He just left it?
- Yep.
Enjoy.
- Good morning, ma'am.
I'm sorry, I'm afraid I have some bad news
regarding your husband.
- No, no.
- Some details are being released.
Except that the prime suspect
in the Magnolia Liquor Store robbery,
Randall Edwards, a 47-year-old Glendale resident,
has reportedly committed suicide while in police custody.
Officials are not releasing any further information
at this time.
Reporting from North Hollywood, I'm Nick Sanchez.
- What seems to have originated with a botched robbery
and the murder of a clerk here at Magnolia Liquor
at Hollywood Boulevard.
The clerk, Heather Harrington,
was pronounced dead at the scene.
And the authorities suggest that the perpetrator
was actively involved in the death of Officer DeJesus.
* Silent Night
* Holy Night
* All is calm
* All is bright
- When did you take those? - I took them last night.
Isn't that something?
Santa came early.
Here, I thought you weren't the intimate type.
Is this one of those it's-not-me-it's-you things
or it's-not-you-it's-me things, whatever the fuck it is?
- How could you do that? - How could I?
How could I?
I'm so glad you asked me that.
I mean, while you were kissing him in the dark,
I had to open the aperture to an f-3.5.
The ISO was a bitch. - David.
- But I got there-- - David, stop!
- When I told you I loved you, it wasn't bullshit.
But you never loved me, did you?
Did you? - Of course I did.
- Past tense.
- I still do.
- Get your hands off me.
I can't, I can't, I can't.
- David.
- Home free.
- Think I could get a lottery ticket?
- Yeah, you want a nice purple one?
- Yeah, whatever is cheapest.
- Okay, so.
What are you doing?
- I'm sorry, I need the money.
- All right-- - Okay, shut up, okay?
Just do it.
- And we'll both just pretend like this never happened, all right?
- Look, shut up. - You don't have to do--
- Just shut up, okay?
Just do it, please.
- All right.
You know, you don't have to do this, all right?
You can just put the gun down
and we'll both pretend like this never happened.
Please.
- I thought you said you were gonna be busy with work.
- It's Christmas Eve.
The kids couldn't wait up for you.
- I can see that.
Merry Christmas, baby.
- Merry Christmas to you, sweetheart.
He wanted to see you
just one last time.
Is this about Dad?
Is that the same tree?
- You didn't even ask about him.
You just want me to say
that I was wrong.
- There's nothing I want from you.
- I might propose to her.
- A girl?
Is that why you stopped by, to tell me?
We can fix this.
No, Chris, wait!
- Is that the same tree?
First grade.
Mom, I'm sorry.
* It's another sunny Christmas in LA
* There's a traffic jam
* On the 101
* And the weatherman says
* Sun, sun, sun
* I miss icicles and snowballs now and then
* But I've got Mickey Mouse
* And low gas bills for my house
* Yeah most of all I've got my friends
* It's another sunny Christmas in LA
* That's all right, that's okay
* Santa is coming here anyway
* On a big red motorcycle
* Who needs a sleigh
* Santa's coming anyway
* There's some smoke above
* From a chimney top
* Wait a minute, no
* That's just a lot of smog
* But I'm so happy to be here this time of year
* I won't cry and I won't pout
* 'Cause I've got friends and I'm hanging out
* And my heart
* Is full of love and good cheer
* It's another sunny Christmas in LA
* That's all right, that's okay
* Santa is coming here anyway
* On a big red motorcycle
* Who needs a sleigh
* Santa's coming anyway
* 'Cause it's Christmas in LA
* It's another sunny Christmas in LA
* That's all right, that's okay
* Santa is coming here anyway
* On a big red motorcycle
* Who needs a sleigh
* Santa's coming anyway
* 'Cause it's Christmas in LA
* Santa's coming anyway
* 'Cause it's Christmas in LA
* Yeah