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- Hello everyone. I'm Jeff Dunham.
- Greetings, infidels < br /> I am Achmed, a dead terrorist.
- I have a question for you, achmed
- I listen, without the real ears
- All right.
Who is your favorite cartoon character?
- Is this a trick question? - Not serious, who is that?
p>
- Tigger Like in Winnie the Pooh?
- Yes, and Eeyore. He is very sad.
- and a pig?
- Don't be an idiot.
- sorry - Whatever.
What's the use of this?
- What if you, Achmed, What is animation? </ P>
- Me? Cartoons? </ P>
- Sure. - That would be fantastic
- Then hope for that
- What? - Express a hope.
- Oh, like, "I wish I was animated"?
- perfect
- Hi everyone. - Aah!
- I'm Tinker Bubba
- What is it - - Hi, Tinker Bubba.
- How. Did I hear someone making a request?
- Yep. That is Achmed.
- A hope? What do you want to
- you say you want /> to get drunk.
- No, animation. - Oh, well, I can do it too.
This is ridic -
- Ah! Oh! </ P>
What happened to me? Why do I look like this? </ P>
- Thank you, Tinker Bubba. - You're welcome. </ P>
- You're an infidel fairy
- Toot-toot for now. Must fly.
Whoo-hoo!
- You tricked me - You got your wish
p>
- And why do I like this?
- This is for you special new animations,
Achmed Saves America.
Enjoy the show .
- Come back, Tinker Bubba!
A "J"
I will kill you.
>
Oh, not a phone call while I ride
I have coverage all the way out here
and not the cell tower that is visible.
p>
Yes yes. What? What?
- entangled Why are you still alive?
You have worked for us for three years,
I swear, you the worst terrorist
as a whole the world of non-Muslims
- I'm not.
As a devout non-Muslim, I am offended by that.
- Did you forget you exploded? < br>> a training camp?
The only thing left is the monkey bar.
- It could be. We are much better than them.
- Don't worry, Hassan. I will do it right this time.
- Stunned, focused!
You don't lose your courage, < br /> Are you?
- No! Are you kidding me?
I'm going crazy I don't want to kill myself
- Then tell me why you did it this mission
- Because you told me
- Wrong answers! Why?
- And why do you hate disbelievers?
- Because you told me
> - The correct answer. So don't mess this up. </ P>
- Why do you treat me like a fool? </ P>
The bomb is ready to go. </ P>
Oops
Huh?
Hey -
I'm alive. I failed!
Son of a female dog .
Well, it certainly can't be worse than this
Hah!
What is Hezbollah? Let me go, you fly wolf.
Release me at once
Clutch me again! I'm kidding!
Well, That was hurt.
Wait. Where is this Aluminum Devil takes me?
No!
A "J"
J "J"
Mmm.
Hmm. Hey.
Death to America... ville.
Terrorist log, hate date 7/3 /13.
I have arrived in the land of unbelievers. </ P>
It will only be a problem from the time till -Aah! </ P>
- Oh Boy.
I don't know what that is, But it makes a noise.
- I hope we hit something cool.
Then today it won't happen total loss
- Whatever.
Everyone is in the mall except me.
And now my life is over. </ P>
- Well, I know we hit something,
but if I know what it is. </ P>
- Turn around, ass
- Is that what we hit?
- Whoa! Is he dead?
Can't we leave now?
- no, baby We have to help him.
- here it is, buddy You are fine.
You will be fine - wait stop.
- Let me reach out with that.
- What are you doing? - Oh, that's the hand. </ P>
- Remove your hand from me
- And the diaper goes above, right? </ P>
- Wait a minute. - It's knee. </ P>
- I don't even touch myself there
- That is... - What are you doing?
- third knee - Stop touching me!
You put my butt in front!
- I'm sorry. I didn't see you
- Oh, that makes me feel much better.
- I think we should exchange insurance information -
Ooh.
Oh, it looks like ours.
"Ew! - Oh,
- Can we take you to the doctor? or something?
- I want nothing to do with you
How I want that evil plane never brought me
from my homeland until now < br> American wretched.
- Mother, did you hear that? He said he just flew here.
Maybe he was our exchange student.
- Yeah.
Claude, the French boy we left at the airport?
- I hate you, and I hate this country
- Oh, yes, he's French. We better stop him.
Excuse me. Sorry to bother you.
What? < What? What?
Ah! What is this devil?
- Bill, no
- Bills? Seriously & apos;?
You named your dog?
What is your name your children, Bubbles and cujo ?
- Billy, off!
I'm sorry. He just likes you.
- Oh good. When to start hitting ?
- Anyway, are you Claude?
- Of course I'm Claude.
I scratch, scratch, bite, lick, and bend ,
but I mostly scratch.
- So you said you Claude?
- Yes, you are an American infidel stupid
- Very beautiful. - What?
- Claude, we your adopted family, Wilsons,
and we are very happy You're here
- Are you a friendly infidel or an idiot
or just a friendly idiot?
- Sorry about mixed up at the Airport,
but it's over now.
Let's take you to your new home.
- You took me to your cave? </ P>
- Well, I have a man's cave. This is the garage. </ P>
- is he naked? </ P>
- Try not to make him feel bad, OK dear? </ P>
He might be poor. </ P>
Let's eat hot food first. </ P>
- We have strangers Can we go to the mall?
A "J"
I have hurt myself,
"the first season from the homeland "style,
among enemies, people who are hated.
People who call themselves Wilson is clever.
They insist on treating me with respect
and feed me a number of indecent foods
that I can barely resist.
- I have the same problem
- their city in dire conditions,
and their lives filled with emptiness and failure,
but they did not take it clear route
blowing yourself and everyone around them.
What's with that?
- I just worked on the assembly line now,
but my dream is to design cars, like this
- This is gas-guzzling, annoying evidence
for all the rest the world hates America.
- Exactly.
This will be a big seller and save the company.
If only my boss will see it.
- He will, because it's perfect, Honey, just like you
- It's nothing like an American
I was taught to hate, which makes me hate them more.
Plus, I don't know a woman can drive
- Well, here's your house for the season hot, Claude.
It's convenient, but we like it.
- I'm nauseated by the decadence stench.
- He did it. - Now, Kevin
- Don't choose our guests
He has a long day. </ P>
You know he was hit by minivan
p>
Why aren't you and your sister? go throw football
or something? - Fine.
- I went to Angie's house
- Don't ignore your phone
- Children today
- On my land, they will have both of them have been stoned until now.
- Right.
You French kids started drinking early, right?
- Wayne, remember our surprise
- Oh, of course
Come back soon .
- So now that I've been in on the stomach of the enemy,
I will make it as my mission. to burst out reeky,
steaming vengeance, but how and when?
Both: Ta-da!
- Ah! Are you Catholic?
- No, we are Americans. </ P>
- Claude, you arrived here just in time for our city
The 100th anniversary celebration, and tomorrow
- Ginny is responsible for from parades and fireworks.
- This will be a show.
- fireworks Blast?
Large crowd
- We will fix it Your room runs out, Claude.
- you go ahead
I'll just be here innocently plan and plan.
This will be easier than I thought
Americans are stupid.
They always leave their dynamite just lying around.
Let me go! I killed you!
Oh, stop. Stop that.
I can't kill when I'm tickled.
I killed you!
Stop it!
♪ I've worked on my big bomb ♪
♪ All the long nights. ♪
The diary I love, my bomb is complete. </ P>
Tomorrow I will take my revenge on these people
who has been so kind to me.
- This is a soft pillow.
How I hate them.
Is it hypoallergenic?
- Just as you asked
- Yes, thank you, evil, America, the female monster. </ P>
- You Frenchman has something like that > colorful words for everyone
Oh, are you writing a book & apos;
- Yes, that's a book from funny observations
about small city life,
like the type you wear suicide agitators,
Garrison Keillor.
- That's good. Nighty-night now. </ P>
- Good night, "Good night. </ P>
Beautiful hello. </ P>
- Hey! I want to talk to you. </ P>
I don't have a bomb. </ P>
- Anda tidak membodohi saya, Nak.
I know why you're here
- Is that so?
Good...
- My parents brought you here just to make me look bad .
- La la la la.
- I can't compare for how cold you are.
You are from France and all. I hate you. </ P>
- Ah, really
I hate you too. </ P>
- According to my father playing football,
p>
but I don't want to do that
I'm good at other things -
secret items that I have never even told my parents about
- You want to lie with other boys of your gender?
- No! I want to be a ventriloquist. </ p >
- What is it?
I have a doll I made him talk.
We tell jokes in front of a big audience and laugh out loud.
- Is that a job?
& apos; Yes! </ P>
- That is the stupidest thing. I've heard
Seriously, who will pay to see anyone doing that nonsense?
- But I'm good at it.
I have been practicing with my new dummy
A-d ad a!
Little Jeff
Hiya, Claude.
- The toy is owned with human spirit!
I hit your face with shoes,
>
which is the worst thing you can do
for someone in my country for some reason
nobody has ever explain to anyone
I'm sorry I told you something.
This will be a long summer.
- Or short
Aah!
Wow. Only you
I think you are Jessica Chastain.
- Who is that?
- He is a crazy bitch in Help
What are you doing here? </ P>
- I, like, come out with my boyfriend,
now my ex-boyfriend
Ugh. I hate him. I hope he's dead.
- Hmm.
Is it he lives within a 20 mile radius
of tomorrow's parade
- Please don't tell Mom and Dad.
- Where is my lips once sealed
- They never liked it too.
They thought I had, like, bad taste for guys
- You? No. Don't be too hard on -
- Mwah.
Wow.
I feel something now.
- Well, it's my detonator- bomb, penis, nothing!
- You're so funny.
- Gracias?
- And I like your French accent.
- Cassidy, are you home?
- Must leave. I will love you until I die.
- stay within a 20 mile radius.
- Good night, Cassidy. - Good evening mom.
- Congratulations night, Kevin. - Good night, Dad!
- Good night, Ginny!
- Why are you shouting at me
when I lie < br /> right next to you
- Sorry dear!
- Good night, little Jeff!
Good night, "ethery-diddy"! </ p >
- Shut up!
Good night, bomb
A "J"
- Good job, ma'am
- thank you And don't you two look good
- Yeah, I have this shirt on -
- Ah! It's almost time for the show to begin.
- No, Mom, I'm not.
"Claude, Claude. Where is Claude?"
Everyone likes the Frenchman.
- here it is Almost arrived.
Nobody helped or touched me.
- Claude, you look very patriotic.
- Ginny, the town square looks great. </ P>
This event will be fair. It turned around
the spirit of our city and made me elected back,
or you were fired
Just kidding. Not really.
- Mayor McEwen, this is Claude, Our French exchange students
- Uh, ou est He is fromage toilette?
Oh, that's funny
Whoa! What the hell?
- holy nonsense
Forgive my French.
- Hey, Ginny, shindig good
A little low-key if you ask me
I mean, where is the eagle?
Nobody says kick-ass < like the flag
with wings that go Americaw!
- Americaw!
- Ah!
- Claude, this is our neighbor, Andersons.
Chet and Ev, this is Claude.
- Nice to meet you, Claude.
- You know, I usually don't be like you French,
but in your case, I will make an exception.
- Don't be an idiot. I hate French people.
- Well, then we will be simpatico
Ha. That's for Mexico "I wet your back, you're soaking wet."
It's like a nice racist.
I like you.
- The way to set an example, Chet. Carl Zimmer
We don't have tea Wing nuts like him , Claude. </ P>
- yes? And we don't all freedom to hate, kiss,
helpless lesbians like this person. </ P>
Americaw! </ P>
- Please, can't the two of you get along? </ P>
As soon as possible All this doesn't matter. </ P>
Now, if You excuse me,
saya harus pergi ke kamar anak laki-laki Prancis kecil.
- Hurry back. You don't want to miss the show.
- My show will go a bigger impression
J "J" </ p p>
Five minutes to blow time.
I have to really tweet it.
Justin Bieber will be in Portland!
- And in the spirit of a hundred years,
suits in Stan McEwen »s Wide and Tall
sell for $ 100. </ P>
Limited supply. Settings may be outdated.
Now, we have a very special guest here today, uh, somewhere.
Right?
- I don't know where he is- That's him.
Claude, up here.
- A big hand for our new friend from France, everyone
- Hello
but be prepared! </ P>
Selamat tinggal sekarang. T-T-F-U.
- Oh no, you don't go anywhere, our new friend
- Help! I am illegally detained
by a leather man big black who's dressed so well
- you're ridiculous We have something for you
- Oh good. I also have something for you.
You are first
- America is a foreign country ,
and you are our first legal person.
And now Raul & Apos's Gardening Service
wants to give you 21-leaf-blower greetings. </ P>
- That's why we're all here -
Thank you and welcome!
- Hurray!
- You are all very cheerful.
- Now, to help celebrate < br>> Claude's arrival,
put your two hands for American Idol season nine
Hollywood rounds almost semifinalists,
Ronny Huntingchurch!
- Well, this is for you, Claude.
♪ Million years ago, When Columbus sailed in the sea ♪
♪ He didn't plan it in that place he would land on ♪
♪ Still going to dare and be free ♪
♪ We welcome Irish people, Chinese, and Jews ♪
♪ But I say, on behalf of the United States ♪
♪ There are no better strangers than you ♪
Wait. I can't cry.
I definitely have shrapnel in my eyes.
- ♪ You are the pen in Jefferson's hand ♪
♪ You are Patton in the last place of Custers ♪
Tooth George Washington, the big Toby Keith ♪
♪ You put "heart" in the heart ♪
♪ And we tell you /> proudly bust immediately ♪
♪ We pray to our Lord ♪
♪ But there is Claude ♪
♪ What we believe ♪
- You-Do you believe me?
What a fatwa.
Those people are all wrong.
You are the best infidel ever there.
Where do I come from, nothing good.
They live in their cave, knee high in camel droppings,
cover their wives so they look like Pac-Man ghosts.
- That's French for you
- I love this country.
Live to America !
Oh! I'll be back soon.
That hurts a lot.
- You will get used to it
Where is the bomb?
Always in the last place you saw
Ow!
You were there.
Huh?
Your actual, literal base bastard.
No no no no, It wasn't a creaking bomb.
Give me that bomb.
I have to save people I want to kill a minute ago.
Oh. Things I have to do.
Billy, see what I have for you
This is your favorite...
femur.
Come on, Bill!
Oh...
no!
Fuuuuuu -
Wow! Almost.
That's a pretty big button.
>
- I'm sure this looks awesome from down there
- He really loves America.
- I really hope so
- America , I love you!
Still like it.
Love it a little less.
- I'm at Americaville General Hospital
where the whole city is holding up caution
for someone they just met this morning...
Ah!
La He la la!
Burned
- Doctor, will he be okay?
- Well, he shows it there are no vital signs whatever
The technical term for that is "dead."
- Wow, that sounds serious. - Huh?
- He woke up. </ P>
My boyfriend woke up. </ P>
- The blue wire won't hurt you
The wire is red will make us die
- Shh. I thought he was trying to tell us something
- ♪ Bomb on the bus goes Bing, bang, boom ♪
♪ Bing, bang, boom ♪
♪ Bing, bang, boom, bing, bang, bang ♪
♪ Bada, bada-bing, bing ♪
Hey everyone!
Oh, the pain!
This made me say something was only sung in a terrorist camp. </ P>
- Well, that's what we
can most expect. From now on, I'm afraid.
- We have to leave it now. She needs a rest.
- Mother, I think you will need it someone to take
Where Claude in the parade. </ P>
Saya telah mengerjakan sesuatu.
- Parade?
I can become in a real American parade
where people wait all night to get a good seat
to see other people walking?
Count me!
Sorry.
- Hmm. I thought you were dead
- This is a miracle. </ P>
- Aah! </ P>
I declare this hundred year parade begins! </ P>
A "J"
- Look what you did, Claude.
- You have been inspired by entire cities
- Thank you.
I don't have < br /> to blow it up again, right?
- Congratulations, Claude.
In the words of Michelle Obama,
"For the first time in my adulthood,
I am very proud of from my country. "
- Yes, we heard he said that.
That's when we recruited him.
- He is a true American.
- Yes, and his hair is actually straight
- Son, You are a true hero, 210% of Americans
- You people suck in math
I like it.
- Claude, Dave Chester, CNN. </ P>
- CNN? I love you Quys. </ P>
You are the Border Book wired network
- Claude, You have just been here two days,
and you have been hit by a truck, thrown up,
rolled down the hill in a fiery trash...
- And I've tried curly fries.
- So how do you like our country?
- Well, I'm in America, so I won't tell you how I feel.
I'll sing, just like that 30-year-old teenager
to the astonished Glee TV show.
I just hate-watch.
♪ When I was only four years ♪
♪ Nothing was there I think it's bigger ♪
♪ Than to change this nation You call home ♪
♪ Into a giant smoking crater ♪
♪ But like Miley Cyrus and her bong ♪
♪ Or Brett Favre texting all night ♪
♪ Or Mitt Romney is terrible singing along
- ♪ Jimmy cracks corn, and I don't care ♪
- ♪ I'm wrong, I'm wrong I'm wrong ♪
♪ I'm wrong, I don't see the buzz ♪
♪ Yes, I'm wrong, Call Obama ♪
♪ And unconscious and half dead ♪
♪ I wrote this song ♪
♪ You are enough people it's easy to fool ♪
♪ But your heart that place belongs to ♪
♪ I don't know why I can't deny that I'm wrong ♪
♪ Running water, Girls Gone Wild ♪
♪ There are no bombs tied to each child ♪
- Ah! - ♪ I found me disappointed ♪
- Americaw! - Yes, what did he say
♪ So a lot of food you throw ♪
♪ So many TVs filled with gays ♪
♪ I love you, Project Runway, so I cancel my fatwa ♪
♪ Because I'm wrong ♪
- ♪ Oh, he's wrong ♪
> - ♪ Yes, I'm wrong ♪
- ♪ So it's very wrong ♪
- ♪ About America, I say that I am- ♪
All: ♪ wrong, wrong, wrong ♪
- ♪ When I see on your face ♪
♪ Be them Wilson, Berg, /> or Chong ♪
♪ I have to admit that I am a twit, and I'm wrong ♪
♪ Oh, I'll miss my friend snipers ♪
♪ And I'm a flea infestation ♪
♪ Have an early grave ♪
♪ But even though you are filled with sin ♪
♪ Like Blind Side, You all take me to ♪
♪ Strangers who don't have skin ♪
- Ah.
- Stay away from him! He's mine!
- ♪ I'm wrong, I'm wrong, I'm wrong ♪
♪ Yes, you're dim and rather simple ♪
♪ And don't use it a thong ♪
♪ But it's obvious I'll stay here ♪
♪ Because I'm wrong, wrong, wrong ♪
♪ Yes, it's clear I'll stay here ♪
♪ Where I belong ♪
- All right, you can do it once just this
- Americaw!
A "J"
Good night, Ginny. - Good night, Claude.
- Good night, Wayne. - Good night, Claude. </ P>
- Good night, Cassidy. - Good night, Claude. </ P>
- Good evening, Kevin. - Good night, Claude. </ P>
- Good night, Kevin creepy, puppies with dead eyes
- Close "ut"! </ P>
- Good. Good night, America.
- Chet, you will fall This thing!
- We're late, > thank you
Will you be fast?
- I'm sorry My flops explode.
- Well, you will be left behind.
I want to make sure Claude sees me comforting her.
Hey, over there, Carl. Nice view, huh?
- Yes, right.
- So, uh...
Every room there for -
- No. No, Chet, not really.
I've been waiting here all morning
- Listen, can you help a friend out
- I can help you, but then you will
- God hang it
- Hey, uh, boss, check it out.
It has a double quad carbohydrate like a genuine muscle car,
but I designed it to sit on the chassis
of our existing middle size,
so you will only have to make some tweaks
on the assembly line to - Yeah, yes, it's up to
- Sure, but maybe also can you see -
- I will definitely think about that, Wayne.
Can we Photoshop Claude? with the CEO, do you think?
- I think - Yeah, great, great
I have to pee
- Good afternoon everyone. I am Mayor Stan McEwen. </ P>
I'm not sure what we are in store for today,
But I know this will be special.
It is my honor
to present the chairman from my election campaign again,
Mrs. Ginny Wilson.
Hello everything.
I know you're waiting for the main event,
so I'll just read from the words prepared this
written by our special guest.
"Good afternoon, I am loved by new American devils."
- Friends! Friends!
- sorry Wha-it -it says "devil" here.
- That is typo and not the Freudian slip
reflects something I used to believe
with every fiber of my being. Bad guys
- "I hope you will appreciate
a pleasant surprise I hate you." </ p >
Have.
- "And I hope it will kill you
- Thrill. More typos
Stupid AutoCorrect
Am I correct? </ P>
Maybe we should skip. </ P>
- Right, right. </ P>
Well, obviously I don't < br /> very well in this case,
so let me submit the program
for reasons we are all here today,
New Americaville sons,
Your friends and me, Claude!
A "J"
- Thank you! You are too kind.
Good.
If I can have -
Thank you. Really, this is too much.
Thank you . If it's Silent!
I already have time to reflect
about an extraordinary person in this beautiful city
in this beautiful country means to me.
And today I, Claude, from France,
want to pay you back to hospitality
You have shown me,
to thank not only Wilson's family
Give them a hand.
They are there. </ P>
Very good. </ P>
Cassidy, please, don't addict me
Choose one of the many idiot boys in this city
And, Kevin, I like you. I really do.
Put the stupid doll. </ P>
You will never get a daughter as long as you have it. </ P>
However, I'm very grateful for all of you
I have decided to give you a gift,
is the same as the Americans gave the Liberti statue
by my country France-
France is the place lam from and there's nowhere else
Here it is!
- Hey, that's fair Big Rock Rock
Hmm. - Yes...
But thanks to my talent in explosives,
the talent I learned < br /> together with others
French school children in France, my birthplace,
I'm here for you...
Mount of America Foreverberg!
This is your fourth biggest American icon -
billionaire wig model
> Donald Trump...
Professional male haters Taylor Swift...
Strange strange, youthful Tom Cruise...
and drug lord Lance Armstrong!
- I got the one who craved to salute me full.
- Oh. So you still get that?
- Tom Cruise starred in in one of my favorite films,
Jerry Maguire.
I fogged when Renee Zellweger dump him
- Thanks for the spoiler, asshole. I haven't seen it yet.
We love you!
- The way to go. < br /> - you are the best, achmed
I'm sure I can say safely, without fear being
ironically opposed, that there isn't,
I don't mean anything, Can damage this golden moment.
- Hello, Achmed
- Holy nonsense
- United States of America, My name is Hassan al-Hassan.
- Hey, there are terrorists.
- Good to go, Chet.
Just because he has an Arabic name,
he automatically becomes a terrorist.
- I am a terrorist
- Welcome to America.
- This person is a traitor!
Achmed's name is not Claude. Achmed's name is Achmed.
- This is it?
- And he is a terrorist. - He is?
- And he is a skeleton.
- He is?
- Kembali re-to n? - Saya?
- Yeah, but if the name is what is Achmed, then where's Claude?
A "J"
- What did he say right?
- No! Good...
No, no, no, I'm not a terrorist. I'm a good person
You know, I'm actually , my production-number
Remember my song?
Everything you know about me
says I'm a great person and a true American.
- Everything except this!
I found this in his room.
All the plans to blow us up are here...
and some pictures strangely riding a flying horse?
- That is a superhero character I am working on -
Turban Cowboy .
This is turban time.
Well, now I hear it come out loud...
Come on, friends.
This is America, where if you are white,
you can get away with anything.
And nobody's whiter than me
- I know him. In my heart, that's not true.
- crazy - How with my re-election?
- I thought he might be a terrorist
- Please, I beg you. Listen to me.
- Is any of us what we really looked at?
- Dad, maybe so a terrorist
- If you just want to listen
Shut up! I killed you!
Is that a true terrorist? can say
- I think we should call < br /> police.
- No need. I'm a representative.
- You bought it in the toy store
- I didn't buy this not in the toy store
I won a lottery in the church.
Say your prayers, head bones.
- This is FBI agent Jack Bauer.
All: Ooh!
- Not from TV.
All: Ah!
- This is my real name It's quite normal. </ P>
I get this all the time. Relax. </ P>
You have 24 seconds to give up , from now on
- Oh no, I'm too pretty to be jailed.
- Yes, you.
- Injured, before leaving,
someone wants to say something.
You are a "father"! You must be "de" ashamed.
- The toy is owned with human spirit! </ P>
- Tulang kaki, jangan sampai gagal sekarang!
- Stop it, Chet. You will hurt someone
- Freedom is not free, Ev.
Not so fast!
I have Mexican, and I'm not afraid to use it.
- I'm not "that". My name is Carlos.
- This isn't about you
>
Anyone moves, and I blow it.
With a leaf blower.
I can't believe you all go there
I am very disappointed
Ah, screw it
Goodbye, Americaville.
- Hello, traitor
Hassan!
- This is the fifth day "America Made to Look Stupid."
The small town of Americaville deals with revelation
that they have saved < >> known Achmed terrorists
The reaction to this story has come
from across the political spectrum,
with Democrats and Republicans
finally found common ground for something
Americaville, now known as Terrorist Town, USA,
is the worst city in the entire United States.
- This is the city of pinheads,
and the biggest pinheads of all
are families who harbor terrorists. </ P>
And they are the subject from my new book,
Killing Wilsons.
- America is a country law and legal process,
But in the Wilsons case,
>
a drone attack is too good for them
- are we even sure
that Mr. Wilson is the father of this terrorist? </ P>
- U.S. Motors Motors,
where terrorists are illegitimate Wayne Wilson has worked,
today announced that, as a gesture of apology,
they will close their Americaville factory,
destroy it, burn debris,
lock the ash in a concrete vault,
and bury the closet iron under Giants Stadium.
- Do you mind if we turn it off?
- sorry We are under orders > to make you watch it
and keep TiVo-ing back to the beginning
- And they are the subject of my new book,
Kill Wilsons. </ P>
- So that's your testimony
You don't know this person terrorist or framework? </ P>
- No, we just like it. </ P>
p>
- Thank you.
Maybe we can go back to some of the versions of our lives and -
- No, Mom, you don't understand
I said we were finished here
- This is not American I grew up in.
- I advise you to be quiet.
Whatever you say can be used against you at trial
Oh, there will be no trial. </ P>
Eh, don't worry, then. We start .
J "J"
- My friend, today your new life begins,
only on the other side This tunnel is America
and your New House... Depot parking lot. </ P>
& apos; Yes! </ P>
Oh, finally we get out of that wretched place
dan pergi dari orang-orang yang mengerikan itu.
But you have fun. Tap yourself
A "J"
- I can't believe Wilsons just handed me </ p >
after all we mean to each other.
I broke bread with them.
I put a bomb in their guest room
p>
- How can you let yourself? be brainwashed
by those who disbelieve, After we spend so much time
Washing your brain to hate them?
- I think I can only be washed
- Soon this will all end,
and the decadent country only will be bitter memories.
Two tickets for the Third World, please, first class
- May Wilsons rot in hell!
Wait. What is this?
- We see who escaped terrorist accomplices
taken to prison
- Terrorists lovers, go home!
Return to another country!
- They are not my accomplice.
I am the mastermind of this failure
- If I can say one thing...
Claude, Achmed, wherever you are,
if you can hear I... - I can!
- We know you're really a good kid,
and we hope you are fine
What?
- Wilsons is put onto the prison bus and...
goooooooooal!
- I can't let The Wilsons became the first innocent person
pernah salah dipenjara di Amerika.
Hassan, you have to take me back there to help them
- You're crazy.
I won't pay more attention shouts </ p >
of buffalo buffalo.
- Oh, yes, how is your wife?
Zing, boom! American lay-down humor.
- For that, I have to kill until you die
But he's fine. He loses some weight. </ P>
He's more cows compared to buffalo.
Anyway, it makes sense!
Why do you want to go back? to a country full of demons?
- All right, I'll tell you. </ P>
I want you to imagine a place where everything is the same
and all are welcome, no matter where you come from
or who is your father or how much land do you have.
This is a place dedicated to pursue happiness,
where all the good things in this life spread before you.
And your right to take it as much as your heart wants.
This place, my friend, is called HomeBound Buffet.
And America is filled with them.
Machines weaving
- These people- they all seem very happy
- That's an unlimited buffet whether for a nation
- unlimited
Surely there are some restrictions
- no
- All right, they serve dinner, yes,
but it's certainly not a desert.
- A frozen-yogurt bar without foundation with all kinds of toppings -
Oreo, Snickers, Cap & nos; n Crunch.
- Don't say Butterfingers. Don't say Butterfingers.
- Butterfingers.
I have to go there right away.
Let me in!
I have to go to... Route 75 , America,
in West Town Country Mall at once. </ P>
- No! We have to save the first Wilsons. </ P>
- Just a little pacing? - Good.
A standard portion of fro-yo, no more than two toppings.
- Ooh , yay!
- Let's enter
Hey you.
Get out of there.
- holy nonsense This is po-po. </ P>
That's a funny name they have police in America. </ P>
- I like it. </ P>
- I said leave here Prohibited from entering!
- But we have to save our friend.
The FBI thinks they are terrorists,
But it didn't. </ P>
We...
what bad guys will say
at the scene From our new Broadway musical,
Les Mis Arabs.
Uh, must go!
- Terrorists! After them!
- Achmed, I'm very sorry What are we doing now?
- We do what Americans do. </ P>
- eat? - No.
What do Americans do? when they run out of options. </ P >
- Throwing the Salam of Mary pass?
- Close. They pray.
- But we pray all the time, like, 38 times a day
- No, no, we have to pray like Americans
- How is that?
- They ask for something like victory exercise,
not pregnant, and celebrity breasts.
- What do we pray for - side breasts?
- No. A miracle.
A "J"
Aah! </ P>
- Side breasts. </ P>
Aah! Aah! </ P>
This is an American. </ P>
- Yes, bald eagle, great American symbol,
who is the second choice after turkey,
take us to america
This is turban time !
J "J"
- We have direct team coverage from the bus convoy
because it slowly makes its way down the main road
from Americaville and to Guantanamo.
Let's go now stay to our Madison Ashford,
who is embedded with the terrorist family
and their kidnappers
- Dave, I'm here with terrorist sympathizers.
- We only gave him a house.
- claiming terrorist sympathizers
as they headed for them imprisonment well.
- There is no place like home
- Other tubers have hit the bus
That's why I wear body armor. </ P>
- There is my Scout leader
and my citizenship teacher.
- Well, who throws everything?
- Father O & Apos; Malley and Rabbi Weisman
are holding a slingshot for you Abdullah
- Well, at least we helped bring several people together. </ P>
- Wilsons, if there is hell, you will do it. </ P>
- Hey, when this is over,
You want to walk to a bar?
J "J"
- Oh.
p>
Oh!
I think America will go means death to me.
- Funny. That could be the title of your memoirs
- That a little too on the nose for me
I will ask Wilsons what they think about it
- the Wilsons! We have to save them
Hassan, we have to go now,
but secretly to avoid detection.
- How is your meal, gentlemen?
- Oh, that's perfect, so delicious.
But we have to go now.
- We bring out a new trough
Butterfinger pieces.
- How fattening you are. Thank you.
- Are they just destroyed? - You bet yes
- Just as we want to gorge ourselves into an early grave,
we really have to go... now!
Charlie Sheen.
Bush. - Is something wrong?
>
- Oh no, it's all cool.
What's wrong?
We've We have a ridiculously big dinner,
burp and fart to fill our hearts,
and now we go, just like other Americans -
I look so young in photos that.
Holy crap
All right, it looks like like you have us
Oh look, they put it out more bread pizza
Everyone: Ooh! - go! Come on let's go!
More sprinkles.
Oh, and some Fresh bread.
- Wow. This country throws out so many cars
It's fantastic
This isn't good.
The Wilsons need me, and I have disappointed them.
At least I can do, if we don't succeed ,
is writing a note cleaning them up
Can you?
Hassan, how are you doing building something?
- not as good as like blowing something.
- That will happen To replace.
Take that welding bullshit and come along with me
- What are we building? - You will see!
- This hurts my wrist.
- Sorry, ma'am /> I am under the command
Alright. </ P>
- You can do it? </ P>
- This is very classified. </ P>
- so you
- I'm not sure you know what the word means,
but thank you.
- Ooh, Chris Matthews went to get moist all this time.
- Honey, isn't this the best birthday present,
see neighbors we went to jail?
- nice jewelry
- Hey, what song Should I play now?
What about America, Eff Yeah,
from the Team America movie? </ P>
- The song is ironic, Chet. </ P>
- It's not ironic if you don't get a joke
"Ow!
It's better to be free from the cage.
- Biting my justice, you eat the food is gone!
- Now, I know things look bad,
but we can't just give up.
We have to keep hope
it's something or someone can save us
- Right, children.
We should hope for something better
because that's what we do.
I don't know who will help us. It could be strangers.
It could be someone who hasn't been born yet.
Could be -
Pigeon skull!
- Is that a superhero?
- No, this is a burning skull! Weaving machines
- Greetings, infidels!
- This is Claude.
- my name is achmed
- Girl's car!
Substitute Wiener!
- Ah, hell, no
> - Leave him alone, Chet! </ P>
You are wrong with America! </ P>
- No! You are wrong with America!
Americaw!
- Gentlemen, You are both right!
- Hey, what- Get out of the way!
- I hate you, Chet!
- Damn- - I always hate you!
- Car Turd!
- HEY -
Oh. Sorry .
- Don't worry.
We have Obamacare.
Hello, Wilsons! I love you!
- Whoa! </ P>
- Even you, you are a little backstabber! </ P>
- thank you, achmed
- I still say he's a bad person! </ P> p>
- Someone has practiced!
- thank you
- Pantyhose Great Hoover. What's the matter?
- I changed myself I entered
- He changed himself into a bomb
- I thought he said, "Turn yourself up."
- When did you pass from Quantico? </ P>
Get ready to shoot. </ P>
- What is the way? </ P>
- Lebih baik, lebih buruk lagi.
- don't shoot Please, listen to him.
- Women and men and big dangerous weapons,
I go back to tell you /> that these amazing people,
Wilsons, don't deserve to be taken to prison
I do
- Wait, wait, wait. Why are we all just gasping?
We know he has to be jailed.
- I don't know
I feel a little stupid
> about that now
- It's true that I came here
with the intention of doing you hurt,
but it's over.
>
And Wilsons doesn't have anything to do with it
because they are worthy, good people,
- Accepted.
- Only Wilsons crime is seeing the best in me,
and the only evil I don't see is the best in inside...
and plan to explode entire cities, yada, yada
- If I can say a word or two words.
- Of course, sir. Where did the shots kill me, people? </ P>
- I didn't see them. </ P>
Oh wait. </ P>
That's better. We are clear
Subjects are in the target zone.
- On my orders, in three...
- I want to say a few words
p>
about this amazing young man.
- Hey, anyone who is playing with the laser pen out there
must really stop
You can release the retina.
- .. Two, one, f -
- Sniper team, back!
- What- Who is that?
- I said back! </ P>
That's a direct order! </ P>
This is General Charles McCarthy
from the United States Joint Command,
and I ordered you to retreat now
That's better.
- This is a miracle. - Type.
- Now throw a weapon You in the drainage ditch.
And let Mr. Wilson spoke. </ P>
- Thank you, General McCarthy. </ P>
And thank you, son. </ P>
- Why didn't they shoot him? He was on there.
- He surrendered peacefully.
- Not in my America.
- Well, honey, this isn't true.
- Why can't you support my hobby more? </ P>
- Itu tidak baik.
I can see the cave from here.
- Au revoir, You're fried in French head.
- Now, Chet! - Don't "now , Chet "me. </ P>
He gets what is right for him. </ P>
You do good things, and you will be rewarded. </ P>
do bad things, and it's just la bye-bye.
Hiya, Chet.
- Save me, Sean Hannity!
- No! My fuel-saving hybrids! </ P>
- My lower body
A "J"
- Anyway, you said
p>
- How can you still live? - I think I know
Because of the American dream the burns inside him
- Actually, It's a piece of shrapnel.
But I feel you.
Yes, I admit now. He is just a talking frame.
Without intending to offend. - Please. We pass that.
because he believes America we all believe,
where you can make a new beginning
no matter where you come from,
where you can arrive in this country
without even a dollar in your pocket,
change your name, and make a new life. </ p >
It happened to someone You may have heard,
someone named Miss Shania Twain.
- She is not an American? - Canada < /p>
No.
- Who is Shania Twain?
Second: I love Shania Twain.
You do </ p >
- So, to quote one Shania Twain's biggest hit -
- Humans! I feel like a girl!?
- No.
Let's find a new spirit
cooperation and forgiveness.
- That doesn't impress me?
- That's not it. I'm heading there.
Let's put our hearts together and -
- Well, that's two of his biggest hits
according to Billboard's country-western charts -
- Shut up ! You said
- Let's make a new Americaville
and America just from now on!
Everyone: Ah!
p>
- Okay, that's too big
- Come here.
A "J"
- I don't think there is anyone for me to hug.
- Is this your little fool? annoying dog?
- Billy! - Billy?
My name is Claude.
- Not stupid, The name of the dog is Bill.
- You're an American giving your dog the name of a person? </ p >
You were dimwitted because you were boring
I thought I had just been shot with an arrow
- Uh, you can all go home. Sorry about that
- It's okay. </ P>
And Achmed is free to go too, right? </ P>
- Uh...
- No, I'm a villain.
I don't think there is a Shania Twain song
to help me escape by paying my debt for the community
- Nobody needs to know is right.
- Loom
- How do you like it? This President! </ P>
- From the United States? </ P>
- Iya nih, Amerika Serikat Motor Company!
- Eh, Mr. Ach-med,
I just spoke to the Attorney General,
and based on my offer
for personal guarantee your rejection of terrorism
and the fact that you have never performed
anything that is damaging...
- That's right . He blows.
- our government is ready to give you full,
complete, and unconditional forgiveness. </ p >
- Yay!
- With one condition. - Boo!
- That you shared with me plan for that amazing car
that you just visited here today.
- My car?
- Yes, you're done which seems impossible
p>
in America Americans actually want to buy.
- This is a bad trip.
- That's an agreement. All: Yay! </ p >
- With one condition.
All: Boo!
- No, no, this is a good condition.
All: Yay! - Yay? </ P>
- condition You give credit
for real men Design this car, Wayne Wilson. </ P>
- I think that looks familiar. </ P>
- It must be. </ P>
Hassan and I build it based on your drawing
The skull that lights up is me .
- Hey, everyone, Carl and I are opening a bed and breakfast.
Sorry, Ev.
- Well, I asked - When will you leave
finally for yourself.
Go happy.
Leave me and Stan a beach house in Roanoke.
- Stan? - Goodbye!
I am a terrible mayor.
p>
- this is the country you want to stay in
- Nothing is better
- Then maybe you can a reference
p>
for my job application?
- Former terrorist logs, love date 8/3/13
I am now a citizen of Americaville. </ P>
This is a good life. </ P>
Wayne and Ginny have found their true calls
Children have fun. </ P>
Yes, all in all, It's been a great year,
and the next one would be even better
Good night, Wayne. - Good night, Achmed.
- Good night, Ginny. - Good night, Achmed.
- Good night, Cassidy. Good night, Kevin. </ P>
Good night, Jeff is small. </ P>
- Good night. - Good night! </ P>
- Good night, dog with dynamite in his mouth
Uh oh.
A good child
A "J"
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