OK, what were we supposed to do?
Kill her?
Oh man.
I can't believe I'm here with you right now.
Going to school before school starts.
You're such a dweeb, dude.
And worse than that, I think it's rubbing off on me.
Dude, chill out.
This is going to take like two seconds.
I'm not even part of your gay little club, dude.
I really wish you would have told me
that you were doing this today before inviting me over.
I didn't invite you.
You just showed up.
Still, false advertising.
Hey, Sammy.
Where is everyone?
Look, this isn't a team meeting.
So let's get right to it.
Have you seen this?
Everyone has seen this video.
This is like Chernobyl bad.
Who the hell is Chernobyl?
I like to think I created a certain standard for this group
that you just no longer live up to.
And so Simon, you're out of FMSDA.
I'm going to need your jump drive
and your computer lab key card back.
I'm prepared to hear you defend yourself and make
me understand why you deserve to stay in FMSDA.
Rip a whole new asshole dude.
Whatever.
I'm sorry.
Compelling.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three, four...
This ain't your avenue, man.
Would you just shut your mouth?
Every time you open your mouth, you just make things worse.
Dude, we are going to kick this school's ass this year, man.
Oh man.
Oh shit, lacrosse team.
Hide, hide, hide, hide, hide.
There's that son of a bitch.
Bbashrethedorf.
Oh, that's Desiree.
I cannot not understand what she sees in that douche bag.
What was that?
No one.
You were looking at her, weren't you.
Bashrethedorf.
Honey, I know what I'm doing.
You obviously don't.
Anyone who comes to the door can see inside the house now.
The TV part supposed to go on the inside.
The TV part, would you listen to yourself?
The monitor is on the inside of the house,
then how is any going to know that we have a video intercom.
Why does anyone have to know that we have a video intercom?
Because if I'm going to spend $537.51 on something,
I don't want to have to hide it from my neighbors.
I can't.
How's it going, Dad?
Oh, you know.
I can't complain.
So how's school going?
School hasn't started yet, Dad.
But it was a pretty rough day.
Good, good.
Just keep it up.
You know, I heard Ahmad even got a girl from this summer.
I'm sick of this shit.
That was my iPad.
I'm sick of being a loser, man.
I've had it.
Guys like Bashly get all the girls, and what do we get?
Pantsed on YouTube.
Yeah, I know.
Wait, Ahmad?
The spoiled little Indian kid from your iPhone club thingy.
OK, first of all, that's racist.
I don't see how that's racist.
He's from India and he's a squirrly looking fella.
Well, yeah.
Him.
How did that little dude get a girl to date him?
Dude probably made it up.
No, I've seen pictures of them together and everything.
So, it's easy to fake that.
You know, it actually is really easy to fake.
We're going to make ourselves girlfriends.
No, no.
That's creepy.
That's beyond creepy.
Well dude, I hate to break it to you,
but we're kind of pathetic and creepy already.
Deal with it.
People would see right through that.
No they wouldn't.
You're like an idiot savant computer guy.
Just make it do things.
Make it work.
There is no way that I'm going to sit here and make
a girlfriend on my computer.
It doesn't work that way.
You know, just think about all the opportunities
that this little computer could give us.
Just think about all the stupid app shit that you make.
Don't call it stupid.
All that really interesting app stuff
you make, why don't you just make it,
you know, interestinger, like with boobies.
Think about the boobies, Simon.
Think about the boobies.
It's not going to work.
We just post a bunch pictures of us
Photoshopped in with some girls, claiming to be our girlfriends.
People are going to see right through that.
Haven't you seen "Catfish?"
Here me out.
We take different pieces from different girls
on the Internet.
We put them together to make an amalgam of a girl, you know?
It's one that can't be searched.
Different hair from this girl, eyes from this girl,
lips from this girl, tits from that girl,
real Frankenstein shit.
Like, they go to be hot, but they can't be too hot,
you know?
Like, in your case maybe a little bit jerkey.
We hack into Facebook, we go back in time literally
by changing the days on the photos,
and put it in like they've been on for years.
You know?
Like sweet sixteens, family reunions,
quinceaneras and all that shit.
Like, they need to be interactive, you know?
Write an iPhone ad that will text and call us.
What are you going to name yours?
Lilly.
Her name is Lilly.
College girls?
No way.
We now have girlfriends.
Greetings lame dicks.
Stanley.
Whats up?
So, I heard about your GFs.
Oh, did you now?
Yeah, I did.
We haven't even told anybody.
I saw it on Facebook.
Everybody saw it on Facebook.
Well, our girls.
They just had to go tell everybody.
You know how girls are?
Yeah.
They're really into us.
Yeah.
Really into us.
So where are they?
Oh, that's right.
They're college girls, right?
Hm-hm.
Totally.
So why didn't you mention them yesterday?
Well, because you were being a dick yesterday.
What college do they go to?
State.
Where'd you meet them?
Outward bound.
Why is this the first time we heard of it.
Extreme wilderness adventure.
We're only allowed to use technology once per week
and call it...
Where are they from?
Stacey?
Willowsbrooke.
Lilly?
Northbrooke.
Have they met your parents yet?
Not yet.
We're keeping it casual.
How far have you gotten with her?
A gentleman never tells.
Bullshit.
Peg?
Oh, we're boning like rabbits, but like really horny rabbits.
Dude.
What?
Gross.
Oh, lookey here.
Calling me right now, the old ball and chain.
Nice.
Yeah.
Well, see you later, dude.
Mr. Nathaniel Hawthorne working on the emotion
of his protagonist in this work, remembering class
that the protagonist is the main character.
The protagonist faces almost a force of agony
that has befallen him.
I'm sorry about what happened yesterday.
I wanted you to stay on and be on Rusty.
It's OK.
It's really not that big of deal.
It is to me.
I actually wanted to win something this year.
But with you gone, that's pretty much out the window.
Something that you just don't like about yourself.
Well, I have.
Can any of you guess what mine is?
It's my pinky toe.
I can't move it.
Now class, let's quiet down because this is the best part.
Peg.
Hey.
What's up?
Who are you texting?
My girlfriend.
Oh.
What, what, why?
Oh, nothing.
I was just thinking...
nothing.
Thinking what?
Let's talk after class.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A lot of butts.
Sorry, guys.
It's my girlfriend, Lilly.
She' really into me.
Well, that's it.
Now, from now on when you enter this class,
you will leave your phones right here in this basket.
And when you leave, you can take them with you.
I thought you were different, Simon.
Dude, I accidentally mixed up the messages.
Stacy go the ones I wrote and Lilly got the ones
that you wrote.
That's some sick stuff man.
I know.
Seriously?
Now, give me your phone.
I want to change it back.
Oh, no way.
No, this just worked on Desiree, dude.
She wants to meet me after class.
I got to go.
I got a semi in my pants.
First period, first fucking day of class and you're
going to be fucking what?
Phone vag?
Language.
My bad Mr. Crowley.
What are you going to do to make it up to me?
Anything you want.
Homework for a week.
Books.
A month.
Jesus Christ.
Come on, Peg.
Don't fuck with my flow or I'm going to punch your face
right in the face.
Vag.
Stupid, pathetic idea.
I wish I could make you real.
Dinner.
Simon, have you been crying?
Yeah.
Why on earth were you...
I had it all wrong, Mom.
I thought it should be a program that's executable,
a robot that would just randomly send out messages I told it to.
But that's not it at all.
You see, it had to think and respond.
If I just work on my algorithm a little bit more
to define the perimeters of what we perceive
as human emotion, then just a few simple responses,
I can feed it information.
Wait, I don't have to feed it information.
As long as it has an internet connection,
it has a brain that has access to all the information
it could ever want.
My algorithm just need to provide it
with access and a filter, that way
it can make decisions and respond
to me based on those decisions.
It's not just a random generator,
it's a program that can actually think and carry
on a conversation like a companion, like a person.
That's nice, dear.
We're definitely going to talk about why
you were crying, though.
Later.
Now, your father and I are leaving
for Aunt Kate's in the morning.
I wrote out a list of chores that you
need to do when we're gone, it's on the chalkboard.
Peg can come by, but he cannot stay past 10.
We'll be back on Sunday.
Simon.
Did you hear me?
Got it, Mom.
I worry about him.
He can't wait to get laid.
Harry.
What?
So now you need a sense of humor.
So, what about the tough questions?
Sex drive, maybe a little one.
This is going to take all night.
OK Simon, we're leaving.
They're toaster tarts in the pantry for breakfast.
Don't be late for school.
Simon?
Simon!
OK, Mom.
OMG, did you hear Bash and Desiree broke up?
He is so going to [inaudible] at his party.
OMG.
Hey, no.
Sup, Vag?
What's this?
Aw, we have all the time in the world.
No you don't, you have until Friday.
That's our English assignment, especially
since you were too much of a pussy to show up this morning.
I need it by Friday night, so bring it to my party.
And bring your little girlfriend too, I hear she's in college.
I totally get off on the idea of the first college girl
I'll go balls deep is stolen from you.
Hey, there's that bugger Peg over there with Desiree again.
Like I give a shit.
I got girls waiting to blow me.
Let that geek carry her purse for a few days.
I need a break anyway.
But if your BFF touches her, I'll
split both your nut sacks in half.
You got the Vag?
How can I have a nut sack if I'm a vag?
Jell-O. Friday.
OK, so now we're in agreement here.
Cindy's office squad which is perfect,
because when you look at your reputation
now we just can't have the whole squad brought down by it.
Right.
I know.
So, shopping, I'll get her make up all in place, and...
Desiree.
Anyway, what I'm thinking... what?
You know what, why don't we just finish up
this conversation tomorrow.
All right.
Sounds good.
OK.
Bye-bye.
I just wanted to see if you wanted
to hang out and or something.
I know what you want, you want to kiss me.
Maybe, maybe.
You know, whatever.
Yeah, sure.
What do you want to do, man?
I don't even care.
I have an idea, how about this?
Why don't you come over to my place tonight
and help me with my homework.
And then afterwards, who knows, maybe you'll get lucky.
Yeah, uh, yeah.
Uh, yeah, I got plans but I can cancel.
Oh.
Um.
Down boy.
Ow.
Son of a bitch.
Who?
Its me, Simon.
Lilly?
No.
How?
You created me.
You designed me and now I'm here.
No.
No, this isn't real.
I'm dreaming.
You were dreaming that this happened?
Yup, this is exactly what happens.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Ow.
So am I.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'll clean it up.
OK.
I think I'm finished.
Desiree, I'm finished.
Did you do the differentials part?
Yes, I did.
OK, because that's what do tomorrow.
Ah well, I did it.
So...
So what?
Well, you know, I did your homework for you
and we had a conversation earlier.
It was a great conversation, I loved it.
You're are so cute.
And you said something about, uh, getting lucky.
Oh.
Well, don't you have a girlfriend?
Oh, well she, uh, she um, we have an understanding.
What kind of understanding?
Well, uh, you know, she's a college girl,
and so she's super open minded.
We can see other people.
You know, it's not a big deal.
No.
No, I'm not OK with that.
If you want anything to happen here tonight with me,
you have to end it with her.
OK.
Well?
What?
What you want me to do it now?
Right now?
Yes.
Now.
It's going to be a long conversation, you know?
And it's going to take a while.
Now.
Yeah.
OK.
I could do it now.
That's fine.
Oh, and I want all those Facebook photos of you
two gone.
Uh, yeah.
OK.
I'll just untag myself.
No, I want them gone.
OK.
I'll go do that right now.
No.
Do it here.
I don't necessarily think that's right.
I mean, you know, they mean a lot to her.
I should let her down easy, you know?
OK.
But just so you know, you better do it quickly
because I'm not going to wait here all night.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, I'm just going to grab my shoes.
I'll be right back.
Simon, let me in, man.
Simon!
Hey, Simon, I know your mad, man, but I need your laptop.
Simon, Simon.
Simon, I got to borrow your laptop, dude.
Did you hear that?
Nothing.
OK.
Yup, Desiree wants to bone tonight
and I got to be a free man beforehand.
What the?
What is up with this?
Why is the keyboard all sticky?
Ew.
You know how girls are, man.
They always want to own the pig, pun intended.
OK.
All right.
I'm taking your laptop, dude.
I'll leave a message.
Dear Simon, borrowing your laptop,
bring back to school tomorrow.
Love
and kisses, Peg.
You're so sexy when you wake up.
It wasn't a dream.
I'm so... you were [inaudible].
You were.
Mmmm.
You're going to love it.
It's so good.
I think you've got this covered.
All right.
Ew.
You know, I never thought that Red Vines
would be so delicious.
I know, right?
They're so bad for you but I don't even care.
Did you just Disney movie me?
Maybe.
That's pretty cheesy, babe.
Oh.
I guess it just needed time to juice up, I guess.
Hey Stacey.
How are you doing?
Can we talk for a minute?
I need to tell you something.
It's not going to work between us.
I know.
It's not you, OK?
It's me.
Well, it's a little bit you because on the account
that you're not real.
But, you know what?
You did better than I ever though you would for me.
You know?
You got me Desiree, and, you know, you're a wonderful girl.
And listen, you know, I'm sure that one day you're
going to go out there, you're going
to make some sad, lonely computer nerd super happy.
Not this guy, not me.
Damn.
Simon is like Rain man with this shit.
What is this?
Sex drive at 15%?
Simon, you're such a pussy.
She's going to need more emotional than that,
she's not a robot.
Maybe a little strength too, maybe she'll
be beat Bash's ass for us.
There we go.
That's more like it.
Updating.
Take it off.
Lilly!
Shut up!
Take it off.
Don't look me in the eye.
Your friend Peg broke up with Stacey last night.
Yeah?
Desiree is pretty into him.
So are you going to do that with me?
What?
Break up with me for some stupid slut
as soon as she starts showing a little interest in you.
No, it's totally different.
Stacey's just someone that Peg made up.
Desiree is a real girl, so he must...
Well, you made me up.
Yeah, but you're real now.
Stacey was just a Facebook page.
Besides, Peg has had a crush on Desiree for like ever.
Wait.
So if some little bitch you've had a crush on
starts showing a little interest in you,
you are just going to leave me for her?
Is that it?
I don't know what's happening.
OK.
Why are you so upset?
OK.
Just take a deep breath.
"The Woman in Me," by Rebecca [inaudible]
says that when I am feeling marginalized by my man,
I just need to take a deep breath
and step back, and count the ways in which I
am a powerful woman.
I won't let you steal my power.
Baby, just...
Don't use that word.
That word is designed to lower my feminine value.
I apologize.
OK.
I don't want to fight.
Do you love me?
So much.
And you promise you will never ever leave me
for some stupid slut?
No, no, no, no, mam.
Can you stay with me today?
It's just too early for you to leave me.
I have to go.
If I miss more than one class, they call my parents.
Oh, I've got it.
Mrs. Dops?
Simon has a fever today and we wouldn't want
him giving it to anyone else.
Thank you so much.
I'll tell him.
OK.
Done.
Now, let's have a little fun and then
I can fill your tummy with pancakes.
Oh my God.
You're the perfect woman.
So she was like, "That's my purse,"
like she owned it already, but I mean,
we were both in the same store.
And if she wanted it that badly, she
wouldn't have left it outside when
she was in the dressing room.
OMG, what did you do?
Bitch tried to call security on me,
so I just took out my credit card
and I paid for it, staring her down the whole time smiling.
I mean, what was she going to do?
What?
You made your point.
Listen, I'm not here to apologize or anything,
and I'm not saying anything is going on with Sydney,
but if it were...
and last night it was, it would be over.
Like I care.
I already got that bitch thrown off
the cheer leading squad anyway.
And what about that slut who said she was going to blow you?
Listen Bash, the girl obviously doesn't want to talk to you.
So why don't you just...
Shut up.
OK.
Baby, I'm done with the whole blow job receiving business.
Totally.
OK.
You're dismissed.
Huh?
We're done here.
You can go now.
Go away.
Is that Simon's?
Uh, yeah.
I'm supposed to give it to him.
Go.
So cute.
Bash, baby, what have you been up to?
Have balls, Peg.
Mmm, pancakes.
Baby?
Lilly, sorry.
Lilly the door is locked from the outside, I guess.
The door was locked.
I would have gone down and helped you.
I know, I locked it.
What?
Why would you do that?
It's just better this way.
What's better?
What way?
Did you know that 99.7% of all relationships
starting in high school end?
I can't have you leaving with the odds
overwhelmingly against us.
I just want us to stay together, sweetie.
So, you just want to keep me locked up in my house?
In your room, yes.
When you say it like that you make it sound so bad.
OK.
Sweetheart, I know this is all new to you,
but I have to be able to eat and drink and...
I'll get you whatever you need.
Honey, this is just silly.
You're just looking for an excuse
to leave me like your pervy little friend, Peg.
Now, Lilly, this is not acceptable behavior.
Don't talk down to me like that.
In "Taking My Power Back, by Beatrice Lesband,
she says that men are free to roam
wherever they please while woman are
expected to just stay at home.
Oh, we're not roaming anywhere, Mr. You're staying right here.
Deep breathes.
Count the ways in which I am a powerful woman.
Now, eat your pancakes, and I'm going to go clean up
after making your breakfast.
I need to cool down.
I'm so sorry.
I just... I'm just so afraid without you.
I don't know what I did.
Baby, here.
I'll clean this up.
There's that word again.
You don't respect me, do you?
Baby, baby, baby.
Who else are you calling baby?
No one.
Only you.
I promise.
I'll never say it again.
Oh, I'll show you.
You're so strong.
Where did you get handcuffs?
Amazon.
I got them for us.
I thought it would add excitement in the bedroom.
Aw, that's sweet.
Right?
There.
Now, you stay here and rest and I'm
going to go downstairs and clean up the mess you made.
Come on.
Simon, dude, I don't think I've ever made a phone
call on this phone before.
That's how important this is.
Please answer your phone.
Dude, come on.
You know what?
Fuck it.
I'm coming over right now, dude.
No way.
What are you doing?
Don't worry about it.
Just take off your shirt and get on the bed.
I'm about to get super cranked up.
No.
No way, we need to talk about this.
I'm not OK with what happened.
Who is that girl?
We're about to find out.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh.
Oh my God, I'm so out of shape.
God, this is the only time I'll thank you for a small hand.
Look, will you stop playing around on Facebook
and come talk to me?
Babe, I'm at work.
Oh my God, don't babe me.
Get over here.
Me too, babe.
You're such a ass, douche bag, whole ass.
You know, I'm not coming to your party tonight.
And, I was going to make cupcakes.
Desiree, what kind of cupcakes?
Strawberry.
Those are my favorite.
Well, I know that's silly.
Simon, was that you?
You crafty little devil.
How did you slip those handcuffs?
Simon?
Oh, you poor thing.
You're hurt.
Woah.
No!
Oh my God.
I'm just going to walk from here.
What's the worst that could happen?
Oh my God.
Oh fuck me.
Oh.
OK.
Oh God.
Simon?
Let me in, man.
Who is it?
Simon, let me in, man.
Now's not a really good time, man.
Simon, just let me talk for a minute
and I can explain everything.
Look I'm sorry, man.
I got caught up being popular and having
Desiree be so into me.
You know?
She was really into me, but you what?
I decided to leave that and come here for you, man.
Simon?
Damn.
You see right through me, don't you?
Best buds always do.
She dumped me, man like month old cheese.
Like I wasn't even a real person.
Liked all those hot, steamy, passion-filled nights.
It's like they meant nothing to her,
like it didn't even happen.
All right, full disclosure, that thing I just said,
it was a lie.
The thing about the passion-filled nights
never happened.
But you're going to bet your ass that I'm going
to tell everyone that it did.
I don't care what Bash does to me.
OK.
That thing I just said was a lie.
I absolutely care what Bash does to me.
I'm sorry I bailed on you.
When you needed me most I just...
oh shit.
Oh shit.
I'm coming little buddy.
Damnit.
Oh shit.
Simon.
Who the hell is that?
It's Lilly.
No, seriously.
Who is it?
Oh damn, it's a hooker isn't it?
Mam, we're minors, OK?
So, whatever money he owes you we
could probably pay it back, just...
God damn.
Hookers are strong.
Shut up you little perv.
It's Lilly for real.
Now stop pulling on me.
Oh my god.
What the hell?
Don't leave.
Hey, help.
Help.
Hey.
Updating.
Look at this shit, emotions 21%, strength 80%,
what the hell does this mean?
Baby, what are you doing?
People are downstairs waiting for us.
Nag much?
Just go downstairs, I'll be there in a second.
Oh shit, sex drive 91%.
Simon, you dirty little vag.
Why do you keep using that word?
I don't think it means what you think it means.
Quit breaking my balls.
Just go downstairs.
Ass hole.
Love you, baby.
Updating.
Updating Updating.
WT fuck, man.
Updating.
How is she real or or whatever?
I can't even begin to explain.
One minute she was an iPhone app,
and the next she was right there in front of me.
Updating.
Oh my God.
This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy.
Updating.
Let's get out of here.
Come on.
What do we do?
We've got to get out of here.
Where do we go?
I have to get my laptop.
Yeah.
Here's the thing about your laptop, Bash kind of stole it.
You have got to be shitting me.
We got to go to Bash's?
Oh fuck that.
No.
Let's go to my house, let's hide out.
No.
We've got to go to Bash's.
I've screwed all of this up and now I've got to fix it.
Ladies and gentleman, this evening's entertainment.
So we all know our little friend Simon and his new girlfriend,
but what you all don't know is that he created this chick out
of thin air.
All these photos, are Photo Shopped.
Let me show you some pictures that weren't Photo Shopped.
Updating.
Simon.
Simon, don't leave me.
Updating.
OK.
I'm freaking out.
I'm done.
Why is she so psycho?
I don't know.
Everything has been great, like really great.
All day yesterday was awesome, you know?
Wait, did you bang that thing?
It's not a thing, it's a girl.
And yes, like a lot.
Nice, man.
What?
Oh, OK.
What are we supposed to do?
Kill her?
No.
No, man.
I'm going to fix her.
I just need my laptop.
Geez.
Updating.
God damnit, not again.
Updating.
Why is everyone laughing?
Maybe because of that.
That's it.
I thought that would be more dramatic.
Yeah.
Updating.
Bash?
Well well, If it isn't Casanova himself.
Give me my laptop.
Yeah, give him his laptop, dude.
What are you going to do if I don't, Vag?
Man, you don't understand.
I need that laptop.
Well, come get it.
Fuck it.
We don't have time for this.
Simon?
I'm not mad, sweetie, I just want to talk.
Hey baby, what's up?
You.
What do you want, bitch?
You're the tramp that wrecked my best friend's relationship.
Whatever, slut.
Aw, cat fight.
Oh, oh, oh!
Oh!
Oh Peg.
I told I'd go balls deep in your girlfriend tonight.
Updating.
No fucking way.
Updating.
Peg.
Updating.
Oh, Peg.
That was so... that was so sweet.
I can't believe you did that.
Desiree?
Is that you?
It's so dark.
It's so cold.
Let me try to get the bottle out.
Oh God, no.
No, that's tender.
That's tender.
It's just your shoulder.
I'm pretty sure if you clean up the wound it'll be OK.
Oh, I didn't know you were a doctor.
Go away please.
Desiree, don't listen to her.
She's crazy.
She's not a doctor.
Give me my laptop.
Updating.
I don't need it anyway.
Updating.
Bash, what have you done?
Updating.
You're so much hotter in person.
This is why she's been acting so crazy.
Her strength, her emotion, her sex drive, seriously?
These are all way too high.
Updating.
Oh shit, you changed her relationship status?
It's just one more thing you're going to lose to me, Vag.
Bash, you don't understand.
If she's in a relationship with you...
Oh, you are intense, baby.
Don't use that word.
I'm so sorry, baby.
I was just kidding.
I didn't mean it.
Simon, this bitch is crazy.
I just want to talk.
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Oh shit.
Well, I did not see this evening taking this turn.
What do we do?
Do we call 9-1-1?
No.
Hell no.
We're not going to do that.
We're going to do what teenagers always do
in a situation like this, run.
That's my house.
So, what happened back there?
Who is that lady?
Honestly, it's a long, long story.
Tell me later?
OK guys, so the next project that we're
going to be working on this year, it's called Stan's Face.
Yes, yes, I know you guys are all very excited.
The basic premises, I wake up every morning
and take a new picture of my face.
Dude, that chick was so hot.
You and Simon with college chicks?
Epic, bro.
Dude, are you kidding me?
That's called evidence, son.
Hey.
How's your shoulder, baby?
You know how I feel about that word, sweet heart.
How you doing Simon?
College girl?
Nice bro.
Genius, right?
Simon, what are you doing here?
Better question is, what are you doing in my seat?
Don't look at me.
Get out of the man's seat.
Oh.
Celia, care to do that honors?
Since Stanley has stepped down as intern president,
I would like to nominate Simon for president of FMSDA.
Who will second?
Great.
Let's get started.
I've been working on this really awesome program.
Scene 70, take one, marker.
All right, you ready?
Ready over there, Tony?
All right.
And action.
I forgot my line.
Oh shit, we're doing a line?
Sorry.
Cut.
I'm sorry.
Greetings, blah, blah, blah.
Sorry.
You're gross.
OK guys...
Full disclosure, think about... blah, blah, blah.
OK, what I just said was a lie.
But that's not... Shit.
OK.
OK, the thing I just said was a lie.
About Bash not... shit.
OK.
About me not caring what Bash does to me.
All right, I got it.
Blah, blah, blah.
You can bet your ass I'm going to tell everybody
that they did.
Because she has to remove it, right?
No.
No?
No she does not have to [inaudible]...
Oh, so it doesn't matter...
We're not making a pornography.
Contrary to popular belief.
We're going to get real weird with this one, all right?
Wait until I get off on the idea that she's
going to be the first one...
I totally get off on the idea of the first girl... oh my God.
I totally get off on the idea of... oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh man I almost had it.
Shit.
Why is this line so hard?
What are we doing right now?
Scene A71, Frank, take one.
I just lost my thing-inity.
Whatever that is.
Slate.
Slate-inity.
Who's my little buddy?
You know what we're going to do?
You're going to type the buttons,
you're going to make it happen...
It is your will.
It is God's work that you do this.
It is your fate.
Do you see?
The computer tells you.
It is if it is speaking to us.
OK.
I was actually going to say I was thinking
about a different direction.
I was thinking about that.
After he leaves, I go over there.
I start making out with Stanley.
Oh my God.
Why is everyone laughing?
That was stupid.
Why is everyone laughing?
All right, so...
No one's laughing.
Take 32, [inaudible], take three.
The clacking things.
57 Charlie, take one.
That's a lot of Charlie's.
That's 57 Charlie all over the place.
Oh fuck, dude.
No.
Acting.
No, OK.
42 Dallas, take one.
It should always be dollars.
Dollars, dollars, dollars.
Dollar bills, y'all.
Everything is about Stanley.
Stanley is starring in his own movie.
Oh, right, right.
I got caught up being popular and being...
it totally fell.
And...
Head to scene 68, your anus, take one.
And action.
Wait, what are we doing?
What are we doing?