1
00:00:02,053 --> 00:00:04,521
(grand orchestral fanfare
playing)

2
00:00:25,575 --> 00:00:27,845
♪ ♪

3
00:00:41,487 --> 00:00:46,492

4
00:00:47,497 --> 00:00:48,797
(children chattering playfully)

5
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,099
WOMAN:
It's okay.

6
00:00:50,101 --> 00:00:51,869
You're gonna love it.

7
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:56,138
Happy first day of school.

8
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,005
Bye, sweetie.

9
00:00:58,007 --> 00:01:00,843
- Hi!
- Hi.

10
00:01:00,845 --> 00:01:02,778
Hey. I'm Sam.

11
00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:04,446
Hi. I'm Julie.

12
00:01:04,448 --> 00:01:06,048
(all giggling)

13
00:01:06,050 --> 00:01:07,982
- Bye.
- Bye, Mom.

14
00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:09,884
(giggling continues)

15
00:01:09,886 --> 00:01:11,387
I'm Hunter.

16
00:01:11,389 --> 00:01:12,755
Sam's mine right there.

17
00:01:12,757 --> 00:01:14,056
The one with the glasses.

18
00:01:14,058 --> 00:01:15,423
I'm Lisa.

19
00:01:15,425 --> 00:01:17,693
That's my Julie.

20
00:01:17,695 --> 00:01:19,464
I'm Mitchell. (sniffles)

21
00:01:20,597 --> 00:01:22,697
Kayla's hero.

22
00:01:22,699 --> 00:01:24,500
Oh, are you okay?

23
00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:26,033
- Yeah, yeah.
- You crying?

24
00:01:26,035 --> 00:01:28,102
No, man, it's a...
big day, that's all.

25
00:01:28,104 --> 00:01:29,872
- Yeah.
- You know, can I have a tissue, please?

26
00:01:29,874 --> 00:01:30,739
- Yeah, yeah.
- Thank you.

27
00:01:30,741 --> 00:01:32,473
- It's a big day for all of us.
- Yeah.

28
00:01:32,475 --> 00:01:33,608
MITCHELL:
Thanks. (sighs)

29
00:01:33,610 --> 00:01:35,744
(sighs, chuckles)

30
00:01:35,746 --> 00:01:36,711
KAYLA:
Come on, let's go!

31
00:01:36,713 --> 00:01:38,080
HUNTER: I think our daughters
are friends.

32
00:01:38,082 --> 00:01:39,515
- SAM: I'm so excited!
- JULIE: Me, too.

33
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:41,983
And I think that means
we're friends.

34
00:01:41,985 --> 00:01:44,986
(chuckling)

35
00:01:44,988 --> 00:01:47,155
Should we go get a drink?

36
00:01:47,157 --> 00:01:48,524
You okay?

37
00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:49,824
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

38
00:01:49,826 --> 00:01:51,860
- Yeah.
- Do you guys want to go get a drink?

39
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:53,929
Just... Ah, they made it.

40
00:01:53,931 --> 00:01:55,764
You guys want to go grab
a drink real quick?

41
00:01:55,766 --> 00:01:57,866
Is he asking us if we want
to go grab a drink?

42
00:01:57,868 --> 00:01:59,435
I'm really hoping it's coffee.

43
00:01:59,437 --> 00:02:03,038
♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah... ♪

44
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,640
(overlapping chatter)

45
00:02:05,642 --> 00:02:08,176
♪ Is it a dream
keeping you awake? ♪

46
00:02:08,178 --> 00:02:09,644
(indistinct chatter)

47
00:02:09,646 --> 00:02:11,079
- Aah! That's so...
- Shut the fuck up.

48
00:02:11,081 --> 00:02:13,115
♪ Is it the stillness ♪

49
00:02:13,117 --> 00:02:15,150
- Happy Halloween!
- ♪ That makes you shake? ♪

50
00:02:15,152 --> 00:02:16,585
(speaking mock Kazakh
a la Borat)

51
00:02:16,587 --> 00:02:18,220
I can see Russia from my house.

52
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:19,888
- GIRLS: Red Vines!
- HUNTER: Red Vines!

53
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,590
MITCHELL:
Red Vines!

54
00:02:21,592 --> 00:02:23,692
♪ What's on
the ocean's floor... ♪

55
00:02:23,694 --> 00:02:25,828
(cheering)

56
00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:27,029
That's right!

57
00:02:27,031 --> 00:02:28,663
(shouts indistinctly)

58
00:02:28,665 --> 00:02:29,997
(whooping)

59
00:02:29,999 --> 00:02:32,533
Hey, hey, Hunter, get out, man.

60
00:02:32,535 --> 00:02:34,136
(girls squealing)

61
00:02:34,138 --> 00:02:36,204
LISA:
Put your seat belts on!

62
00:02:36,206 --> 00:02:37,573
Oh, my God!

63
00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:39,677
(all screaming excitedly)

64
00:02:40,944 --> 00:02:42,678
- Surprise!
- Surprise!

65
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,579
No way! Thank you, Mom!

66
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,181
Thank you so much! (squeals)

67
00:02:47,183 --> 00:02:49,119
Be careful.

68
00:02:55,025 --> 00:02:59,061
(over phone): ♪ Just walk
your fine ass out the door ♪

69
00:02:59,063 --> 00:03:03,164
♪ I do my hair toss,
check my nails ♪

70
00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:05,633
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as hell ♪

71
00:03:05,635 --> 00:03:08,103
♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪

72
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:10,638
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as hell ♪

73
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,941
♪ Feelin' good as hell ♪

74
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,710
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as hell ♪

75
00:03:15,712 --> 00:03:17,812
MAN (over TV):
Absolutely gorgeous out.

76
00:03:17,814 --> 00:03:19,281
You're probably gonna miss
these mornings

77
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:20,916
that we spend together, right?

78
00:03:20,918 --> 00:03:23,217
Stop.
You're gonna make me cry.

79
00:03:23,219 --> 00:03:25,287
And I don't want to cry,
because it's prom night.

80
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,121
And it's supposed to be,
like, the most magical night

81
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:28,289
of your life, and, you know,

82
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,893
I'm just so anxious about it.

83
00:03:30,895 --> 00:03:34,729
Well, call me
if you feel anxious.

84
00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:36,999
Or maybe FaceTime me,
if it wasn't too loud.

85
00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:39,033
I mean, if it was too loud,
you could just...

86
00:03:39,035 --> 00:03:40,568
we could wave or whatever.

87
00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:42,069
(chuckling):
That'd be funny.

88
00:03:42,071 --> 00:03:44,740
And then I can do...
You know what I was thinking?

89
00:03:44,742 --> 00:03:46,942
You should send me photos
throughout the night.

90
00:03:46,944 --> 00:03:49,210
Like, not...
not, like, all night long,

91
00:03:49,212 --> 00:03:51,979
but if you could do it
like every 30 minutes or so,

92
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,782
then I can put together
one of those iBooks.

93
00:03:54,784 --> 00:03:55,883
- That would be so fun.
- Yeah.

94
00:03:55,885 --> 00:03:57,119
That would be a really...

95
00:03:57,121 --> 00:03:58,920
I don't think
you would regret that.

96
00:03:58,922 --> 00:04:00,255
(Lisa chuckles)

97
00:04:00,257 --> 00:04:02,156
- Mom?
- Mm-hmm?

98
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:05,327
Are you gonna be okay
when I go to college?

99
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:06,894
Who, me?

100
00:04:06,896 --> 00:04:07,895
Yeah.

101
00:04:07,897 --> 00:04:09,230
Me?

102
00:04:09,232 --> 00:04:11,166
(laughs)

103
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,334
What?

104
00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,801
Pl-Please.

105
00:04:13,803 --> 00:04:16,071
Don't even get me... (laughs)

106
00:04:16,073 --> 00:04:18,039
Don't even...

107
00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:20,277
- Please.
- (Julie chuckles)

108
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,614
Okay, bye, Mom!

109
00:04:25,616 --> 00:04:27,181
- Okay, bye.
- I love you.

110
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,886
Okay, I love you.

111
00:04:35,224 --> 00:04:37,359
MARCIE:
<i>Oh, good, you did the laundry.</i>

112
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:40,628
Yeah, and got a totally sleepy,
happy baby.

113
00:04:40,630 --> 00:04:42,631
Full-blown Renaissance man.

114
00:04:42,633 --> 00:04:44,232
- (chuckling): Oh.
- Believe it.

115
00:04:44,234 --> 00:04:45,833
It's a good thing
she's asleep, too.

116
00:04:45,835 --> 00:04:47,068
I was going through
the laundry.

117
00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:48,903
- Uh-huh.
- Found these new thongs.

118
00:04:48,905 --> 00:04:51,707
You know what I'm gonna do
with these?

119
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,975
Paging Dr. Muff Diver.
Dr. Muff Diver, you're needed

120
00:04:53,977 --> 00:04:55,376
in the O.R. immediately.

121
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,044
Emergency surgery.
Later on tonight,

122
00:04:57,046 --> 00:04:58,614
I'm tearing these off
with my teeth

123
00:04:58,616 --> 00:04:59,814
like an old-school
cartoon billy goat.

124
00:04:59,816 --> 00:05:01,148
- (grunting, snorting)
- Honey.

125
00:05:01,150 --> 00:05:02,619
Mitchell.

126
00:05:05,154 --> 00:05:06,388
Those are your daughter's.

127
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:08,289
(retches, spits)

128
00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:10,292
No way. Kayla wears cleats
and Bears jerseys,

129
00:05:10,294 --> 00:05:11,393
not some dirty
stripper underwear.

130
00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:12,361
You thought they were mine.

131
00:05:12,363 --> 00:05:14,261
What, am I giving her allowance
in singles?

132
00:05:14,263 --> 00:05:15,830
Go tell her
she can't wear these.

133
00:05:15,832 --> 00:05:17,299
Tell her
they'll make her sterile,

134
00:05:17,301 --> 00:05:19,133
like with the laptop
and my brother's balls.

135
00:05:19,135 --> 00:05:21,035
We're not sure that's what
happened with your brother.

136
00:05:21,037 --> 00:05:22,903
Honey, you're being ridiculous.

137
00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:24,672
Kayla's becoming a woman.
This isn't the time

138
00:05:24,674 --> 00:05:26,741
to tighten your grip;
it's the time to loosen it.

139
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,809
This? This means
we tighten the grip.

140
00:05:28,811 --> 00:05:30,811
This isn't built for comfort;
it's built for speed.

141
00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:32,347
We need to slow it
the fuck down.

142
00:05:32,349 --> 00:05:35,751
The appliances go in
after the backsplash.

143
00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:38,320
We've done it the same way
every time.

144
00:05:38,322 --> 00:05:40,121
(takes deep breath)

145
00:05:40,123 --> 00:05:42,225
Uh-huh. All right,
put him on the phone.

146
00:05:43,661 --> 00:05:44,859
(knocking)

147
00:05:44,861 --> 00:05:46,927
KAYLA:
I'm in the bathroom.

148
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:48,632
(sighs)

149
00:06:00,811 --> 00:06:02,779
(buzzing)

150
00:06:08,919 --> 00:06:10,388
Thanks.
I was looking for that.

151
00:06:12,222 --> 00:06:14,056
You mind telling me
what this is?

152
00:06:14,058 --> 00:06:15,924
- Uh, fuzz.
- Yeah.

153
00:06:15,926 --> 00:06:17,859
Yeah, fuzz.
That's what I thought it was,

154
00:06:17,861 --> 00:06:19,361
and then upon further
investigation,

155
00:06:19,363 --> 00:06:21,962
it is clearly an unraveled
filter of a cigarette.

156
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:23,465
Kayla, are you a... a smoker?

157
00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:25,133
What? No.

158
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,102
Not a smoker, Dad.

159
00:06:27,104 --> 00:06:30,071
Hey, haven't you seen the
billions of ads that tell you

160
00:06:30,073 --> 00:06:31,873
- not to do this stuff?
- Dad!

161
00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:33,775
You can't teach someone
not to try things, okay?

162
00:06:33,777 --> 00:06:35,844
That's what trying things
is for... to teach you things.

163
00:06:35,846 --> 00:06:37,145
It's a contradiction.

164
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,313
It's like telling me

165
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,450
not to go for a triple
on a base hit to the gap

166
00:06:41,452 --> 00:06:43,150
when I've made a good turn
around first

167
00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,073
and I know that the
right fielder has a weak arm.

168
00:06:46,856 --> 00:06:48,323
Damn it, you're smart.

169
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,725
Okay. Yeah, all right.

170
00:06:50,727 --> 00:06:52,126
Time to get ready
for school, Dad.

171
00:06:52,128 --> 00:06:53,494
Okay, all right.

172
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,797
Julie! Sam!

173
00:06:55,799 --> 00:06:56,864
- Hey, girl!
- (tires squealing)

174
00:06:56,866 --> 00:06:58,032
Whoa!

175
00:06:58,034 --> 00:06:59,333
(laughing)

176
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:02,070
- I almost died.
- Prom night!

177
00:07:02,072 --> 00:07:03,504
- (whooping)
- Prom!

178
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,439
I'm so, so excited.

179
00:07:05,441 --> 00:07:07,008
Oh, me, too.

180
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,413
(school bell ringing)

181
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,080
Mm. I love you.

182
00:07:12,082 --> 00:07:14,181
I love you, too.

183
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,417
All right.

184
00:07:15,419 --> 00:07:16,484
- We're so gross.
- I know.

185
00:07:16,486 --> 00:07:17,919
People are looking at us.

186
00:07:17,921 --> 00:07:19,121
- I don't care.
- We better get

187
00:07:19,123 --> 00:07:20,363
"cutest couple"
in the yearbook.

188
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,227
♪ Here we go ♪

189
00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:31,532
♪ Here we go. ♪

190
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:32,534
I'm having sex.

191
00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:34,936
That's great.

192
00:07:34,938 --> 00:07:36,304
I'm having soup.

193
00:07:36,306 --> 00:07:37,438
No.

194
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,508
Tonight with Austin.

195
00:07:39,510 --> 00:07:41,542
- Wait, you're finally gonna do it?
- Yeah.

196
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,778
I mean, you know, we've been
dating for six months,

197
00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:45,246
and we love each other,

198
00:07:45,248 --> 00:07:47,148
and I just awkwardly
got my pediatrician

199
00:07:47,150 --> 00:07:48,549
to put me on birth control.

200
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,518
She gave me a sticker.

201
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,419
Two because I was good, so...

202
00:07:52,421 --> 00:07:54,890
I know it's, like, kind of
corny or whatever, but it just

203
00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:56,558
seems like prom night...

204
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,926
it's kind of perfect, you know?

205
00:07:58,928 --> 00:08:00,427
We're gonna have, like,

206
00:08:00,429 --> 00:08:03,864
dim lighting
and rose petals on the bed

207
00:08:03,866 --> 00:08:05,967
and the scent from that candle
that gets me horny

208
00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:07,434
every time I pass it
in Walgreens.

209
00:08:07,436 --> 00:08:09,003
All candles get me horny.

210
00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:10,371
JULIE: I'm gonna look
into Austin's eyes,

211
00:08:10,373 --> 00:08:13,174
and then he's gonna look
into mine,

212
00:08:13,176 --> 00:08:15,176
and then we're gonna, like,

213
00:08:15,178 --> 00:08:16,811
touch each other's faces,
you know?

214
00:08:16,813 --> 00:08:18,446
For, like, a long time.

215
00:08:18,448 --> 00:08:20,314
Like, a long time.

216
00:08:20,316 --> 00:08:21,816
Just to, like, connect.

217
00:08:21,818 --> 00:08:24,251
And then we're gonna...

218
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:25,922
Kapow.

219
00:08:27,524 --> 00:08:29,224
All right, fuck it, I'm in.

220
00:08:29,226 --> 00:08:30,592
- What?
- I'm in.

221
00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:31,859
I'm having sex tonight, too.

222
00:08:31,861 --> 00:08:33,595
Uh... just like that?

223
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:34,595
Yeah. I mean, why not?

224
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,297
Because it's your first time,

225
00:08:36,299 --> 00:08:38,999
and your first time
should be special and perfect.

226
00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:40,368
Yours can be special
and perfect.

227
00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:44,239
Mine is gonna be tonight
and with that dude.

228
00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:45,941
Yeah, they're just brownies.
They're not, like...

229
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:48,075
SAM: Connor Aldrich?
Your lab partner?

230
00:08:48,077 --> 00:08:50,110
- Yeah. What?
- You haven't even hooked up with him.

231
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,580
You haven't even
seen his thing yet.

232
00:08:51,582 --> 00:08:53,013
What if he has a weird one?

233
00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:54,114
They're all weird.

234
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,883
Penises are not for looking at.

235
00:08:55,885 --> 00:08:57,451
They're for use.
They're like plungers.

236
00:08:57,453 --> 00:09:00,154
Listen, my student athlete days
are over.

237
00:09:00,156 --> 00:09:01,989
Tonight is the beginning
of my adult life,

238
00:09:01,991 --> 00:09:04,558
and for the first time
I can do whatever I want.

239
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:06,961
So I want to go to prom,
get drunk,

240
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:10,098
get potted up on weed
and lose my goddamn virginity.

241
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,966
We're gonna have the same
first-time-sex anniversary.

242
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,601
We can go to dinner every year
and commemorate it.

243
00:09:13,603 --> 00:09:15,604
- Olive Garden.
- Yes! Olive Garden.

244
00:09:15,606 --> 00:09:17,172
Breadsticks for life, bitch.

245
00:09:17,174 --> 00:09:19,474
- Yeah!
- Oh, my God, it is gonna be

246
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:23,047
such a relief to get this over
and done with before college.

247
00:09:24,213 --> 00:09:26,281
Um, no, I mean, like...

248
00:09:26,283 --> 00:09:27,648
No, it's cool.

249
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,283
I just don't think
I'm there yet.

250
00:09:29,285 --> 00:09:31,253
You know, maybe something
might happen tonight

251
00:09:31,255 --> 00:09:34,255
with me and Chad, but, uh,

252
00:09:34,257 --> 00:09:37,194
I don't think sex
is gonna be that thing.

253
00:09:38,294 --> 00:09:40,231
♪ ♪

254
00:09:44,635 --> 00:09:45,635
JULIE:
Sam?

255
00:09:49,206 --> 00:09:51,639
(chuckles) But you never know
what could happen.

256
00:09:51,641 --> 00:09:54,142
I mean, maybe
my inner sexual Smaug

257
00:09:54,144 --> 00:09:56,847
will emerge from its keep
and spread its mighty wings.

258
00:09:58,381 --> 00:10:00,348
I never know
what you're talking about.

259
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,316
- Yeah, I... me, neither.
- (school bell ringing)

260
00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:04,255
♪ ♪

261
00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:12,597
Oh, my God.

262
00:10:24,408 --> 00:10:26,074
(chuckles)

263
00:10:26,076 --> 00:10:28,279
LISA:
Julie, is that you?

264
00:10:34,985 --> 00:10:37,018
So realistic.

265
00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:38,956
(cell phone buzzing)

266
00:10:40,189 --> 00:10:42,325
Ugh. God.

267
00:10:45,328 --> 00:10:47,195
BRENDA:
Come on, Sam, we're waiting.

268
00:10:47,197 --> 00:10:49,000
Be right there!

269
00:10:50,467 --> 00:10:51,999
- There she is.
- All right, took me 20 minutes

270
00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:53,435
to figure out how to do
video on this thing,

271
00:10:53,437 --> 00:10:54,536
but I finally got it.

272
00:10:54,538 --> 00:10:56,003
- BRENDA: Oh!
- (camera clicks)

273
00:10:56,005 --> 00:10:57,604
Nope. Took a picture of myself.

274
00:10:57,606 --> 00:10:59,974
Siri, video, please.

275
00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:02,277
BRENDA:
Wow! That Chad is going to rip

276
00:11:02,279 --> 00:11:04,112
through his little
tuxedo pants.

277
00:11:04,114 --> 00:11:06,047
- Mom. That's gross.
- What?

278
00:11:06,049 --> 00:11:08,148
- Why?
- 'Cause you're practically imagining

279
00:11:08,150 --> 00:11:09,718
your daughter
in sexual congress.

280
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,018
You sicko.

281
00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:12,586
Ah!

282
00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:14,589
I was just trying
to connect with you.

283
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,992
You never talk to us anymore.

284
00:11:16,994 --> 00:11:19,697
- Hey, I got this.
- Okay.

285
00:11:22,531 --> 00:11:23,665
(sighs)

286
00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:25,233
Prom night, huh?

287
00:11:25,235 --> 00:11:28,168
I got sad and reflective
on my prom night, too.

288
00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:29,637
- You were?
- Yeah. I was scared I wasn't

289
00:11:29,639 --> 00:11:31,306
gonna stay friends
with the guys I had

290
00:11:31,308 --> 00:11:33,374
been around most of my life,
but I was able to...

291
00:11:33,376 --> 00:11:34,709
- Hey, baby, I love you so much.
- What?

292
00:11:34,711 --> 00:11:35,777
You just really
freaked her out.

293
00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:37,644
Sweetie, if you're worried

294
00:11:37,646 --> 00:11:40,782
about that at all,
just know you shouldn't be.

295
00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:43,417
You never stay friends
with people from high school.

296
00:11:43,419 --> 00:11:45,152
I mean, the oldest friend
I have is Jan

297
00:11:45,154 --> 00:11:46,687
from work, and I've known her
for three months.

298
00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:48,523
- Who's Jan?
- You know Jan, babe.

299
00:11:48,525 --> 00:11:50,291
She draws those silly cartoons.

300
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,726
- Oh, racist Jan.
- Yeah, that's the one.

301
00:11:52,728 --> 00:11:56,031
Who you are today
is not who you're going to be.

302
00:11:56,033 --> 00:11:57,731
And that's okay.

303
00:11:57,733 --> 00:12:00,200
- FRANK: That's good therapy.
- And who you become will be

304
00:12:00,202 --> 00:12:02,670
so different that your friends
won't understand you anymore,

305
00:12:02,672 --> 00:12:04,339
and then you will wake up
and realize

306
00:12:04,341 --> 00:12:05,739
these friendships are over.

307
00:12:05,741 --> 00:12:07,742
This feels like
a very painful divorce,

308
00:12:07,744 --> 00:12:09,676
just like the one I had
with your father,

309
00:12:09,678 --> 00:12:11,678
but then you'll find a Frank.

310
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:14,816
Uh, I appreciate that,
but that's not my deal.

311
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,484
I'm still cool
with a lot of my boys because

312
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:20,388
on prom night,
me, Dennis, Matt and Cory

313
00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:23,691
all convinced our friend Steve
to join the Army.

314
00:12:23,693 --> 00:12:25,627
He fought
in the Persian Gulf War.

315
00:12:25,629 --> 00:12:27,494
He died right away.

316
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:29,163
- (Brenda sighs)
- But once you go through

317
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,465
something like that,
you're bonded for life.

318
00:12:31,467 --> 00:12:34,668
The bedrock of deep,
meaningful friendships

319
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,206
is shared experience.

320
00:12:37,707 --> 00:12:40,577
I thought they were gonna
put him in the Reserves.

321
00:12:44,213 --> 00:12:46,717
That is some horseshit.

322
00:12:51,755 --> 00:12:53,323
Hmm.

323
00:12:54,457 --> 00:12:56,726
(footsteps approaching)

324
00:12:59,728 --> 00:13:01,796
Wow.

325
00:13:01,798 --> 00:13:03,864
You look so beautiful.

326
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,270
(gasps) Turn around.

327
00:13:07,670 --> 00:13:10,205
- Wow.
- (Julie chuckles)

328
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:11,638
Oh, my goodness.

329
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,108
Wow.

330
00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:16,643
So, what's the big plan
for after prom?

331
00:13:16,645 --> 00:13:18,513
Uh, we're just going
to Austin's.

332
00:13:18,515 --> 00:13:19,781
You really like him, huh?

333
00:13:19,783 --> 00:13:21,682
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he's...

334
00:13:21,684 --> 00:13:23,618
Yeah, he's cool. It's not,
like, serious or anything.

335
00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:26,220
His mom told me
he got into UCLA.

336
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,723
- That's nice.
- Yeah, I mean, it's good.

337
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,825
You remember that time
when, like,

338
00:13:30,827 --> 00:13:33,161
I thought about going to UCLA?

339
00:13:33,163 --> 00:13:35,396
Yes.
That would have been crazy.

340
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,264
That would have been
the worst mistake ever.

341
00:13:37,266 --> 00:13:39,901
I don't think it would have
been that huge of a mistake.

342
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,737
Uh, yes, it would have.
(laughs)

343
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,571
University of Chicago
is perfect.

344
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,907
It's 45 minutes away.

345
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,577
So that way you're gone,
but you're not "gone" gone.

346
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,446
But I'm gone.

347
00:13:52,448 --> 00:13:54,615
Right, but not, like, gone.

348
00:13:54,617 --> 00:13:56,618
Right, but, like,
I'm going to college,

349
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:58,619
and, like,
I'm not gonna live at home,

350
00:13:58,621 --> 00:14:00,522
so I'm, like... I'm gone.

351
00:14:00,524 --> 00:14:02,322
Mm-hmm.

352
00:14:02,324 --> 00:14:04,893
Why are my boobs so big?

353
00:14:04,895 --> 00:14:06,864
- Ready, Kayla?
- KAYLA: Yup.

354
00:14:08,698 --> 00:14:10,632
- And now...
- ("Sirius" by The Alan Parsons Project plays)

355
00:14:10,634 --> 00:14:12,200
...standing at five foot,
seven inches...

356
00:14:12,202 --> 00:14:13,700
five, nine if you count
the heels...

357
00:14:13,702 --> 00:14:16,303
straight out
of Great Lakes High School,

358
00:14:16,305 --> 00:14:18,406
the prettiest girl
in all of prom...

359
00:14:18,408 --> 00:14:20,575
Kayla Mannes!

360
00:14:20,577 --> 00:14:22,279
- (cheering)
- (Kayla whoops)

361
00:14:23,847 --> 00:14:26,547
Uh... just high fives
from now on.

362
00:14:26,549 --> 00:14:28,316
- Okay.
- MARCIE: Oh, honey, I never thought

363
00:14:28,318 --> 00:14:29,617
I'd see you in a dress.

364
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,552
MITCHELL: Technically,
it's not a full dress.

365
00:14:31,554 --> 00:14:33,488
Some material is missing
from the middle there.

366
00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:34,522
MARCIE:
Okay.

367
00:14:34,524 --> 00:14:35,556
You look great.

368
00:14:35,558 --> 00:14:36,691
All right.

369
00:14:36,693 --> 00:14:37,926
Yeah, I think it's time to go.

370
00:14:37,928 --> 00:14:38,926
Yes. Yeah.

371
00:14:38,928 --> 00:14:40,494
Honey, we got to go.

372
00:14:40,496 --> 00:14:42,229
- (Mitchell sniffles)
- Honey?

373
00:14:42,231 --> 00:14:44,331
Dad, are you okay?

374
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:47,402
It's like when
he watched <i>Frozen.</i>

375
00:14:47,404 --> 00:14:48,503
(chuckles) Come on.

376
00:14:48,505 --> 00:14:50,338
(sniffs)

377
00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:51,906
LISA:
<i>Hi. How are you?</i>

378
00:14:51,908 --> 00:14:52,941
- Hi.
- Hi. How are you?

379
00:14:52,943 --> 00:14:53,941
Oh, Sam.

380
00:14:53,943 --> 00:14:55,210
Hi, Marcie.

381
00:14:55,212 --> 00:14:56,777
Oh. Oh, oh.

382
00:14:56,779 --> 00:14:58,546
- Hey, Mitchell.
- Hey. Haven't seen you in a while.

383
00:14:58,548 --> 00:14:59,980
- Yeah.
- You know, I was worried

384
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,216
when I never heard back
from you about hot yoga.

385
00:15:02,218 --> 00:15:03,484
Called you a bunch of times.

386
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,987
- I ended up having to eat that two-for-one Groupon.
- Oh, yeah.

387
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,622
I don't really do
the hot yoga thing.

388
00:15:07,624 --> 00:15:09,691
- It's just...
- Well, we should catch up, though, right?

389
00:15:09,693 --> 00:15:11,558
- Yeah.
- Like a lunch. I don't know.

390
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,460
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, give me a call.

391
00:15:13,462 --> 00:15:14,796
- I've been calling you.
- Mm-hmm.

392
00:15:14,798 --> 00:15:16,497
Doesn't work.

393
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:17,768
It's not effective.

394
00:15:21,605 --> 00:15:23,307
(cell phone buzzes,
computer chimes)

395
00:15:25,741 --> 00:15:28,913
(cell phone buzzes,
computer chimes)

396
00:15:31,481 --> 00:15:33,748
(chiming)

397
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,316
- (laughter)
- I don't even know. Wait, wait, wait.

398
00:15:35,318 --> 00:15:36,718
- Oh, my gosh, thank you.
- You guys, you guys.

399
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,253
Wait, this is, like,
the best lighting

400
00:15:38,255 --> 00:15:39,720
with the Valencia filter,
so wait, wait.

401
00:15:39,722 --> 00:15:41,755
- Oh, God. All right, here we go.
- (camera clicks)

402
00:15:41,757 --> 00:15:42,990
- Yeah, okay, that's enough.
- One more.

403
00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:44,425
- We're good.
- Oh, my God.

404
00:15:44,427 --> 00:15:45,826
We need to get
this party started.

405
00:15:45,828 --> 00:15:46,960
- Ooh! Okay, Julie.
- Hmm?

406
00:15:46,962 --> 00:15:48,332
I got you something.

407
00:15:49,466 --> 00:15:50,864
It's coconut oil.

408
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,300
For lube.

409
00:15:52,302 --> 00:15:53,968
I hear it works just as well

410
00:15:53,970 --> 00:15:56,037
and it makes blow jobs
taste like Almond Joy.

411
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,971
(sighs) Thank God it doesn't
taste like Mounds.

412
00:15:57,973 --> 00:16:00,474
I'd rather eat ten dicks
than one Mound.

413
00:16:00,476 --> 00:16:03,277
- Mm.
- But thank you. That's so sweet.

414
00:16:03,279 --> 00:16:04,178
- Oh!
- Aw!

415
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,846
- Oh, my God, I'm so excited.
- Me, too.

416
00:16:05,848 --> 00:16:07,849
- Oh, my God!
- You have to text me, like, right away.

417
00:16:07,851 --> 00:16:09,683
Oh, my God, we're gonna be
doing it at the same time.

418
00:16:09,685 --> 00:16:11,418
(gasps) Oh, my God. We have
to talk about it tomorrow.

419
00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:12,487
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, every detail.

420
00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:13,754
- There's gonna be so much to talk about.
- Guys?

421
00:16:13,756 --> 00:16:16,291
- Hey, guys.
- (laughing)

422
00:16:16,293 --> 00:16:18,659
I want in on this sex pact.

423
00:16:18,661 --> 00:16:21,763
Are you sure? You don't have
to do this just because we are.

424
00:16:21,765 --> 00:16:23,297
No, that's not why.

425
00:16:23,299 --> 00:16:25,867
I want to have sex. Yeah.

426
00:16:25,869 --> 00:16:28,436
That's something
all three of us have in common.

427
00:16:28,438 --> 00:16:29,637
- Mm-hmm.
- Chad is gonna

428
00:16:29,639 --> 00:16:33,974
tap that ass with his penis.

429
00:16:33,976 --> 00:16:37,311
And I doubt we'll have anal
the first time, but...

430
00:16:37,313 --> 00:16:39,580
- All right.
- This is gonna make tonight

431
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:40,447
- even more perfect.
- Yeah.

432
00:16:40,449 --> 00:16:42,383
- It's gonna be the three of us!
- Yes!

433
00:16:42,385 --> 00:16:43,750
(all laughing)

434
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:45,787
HUNTER:
Prom night, motherfuckers!

435
00:16:45,789 --> 00:16:48,355
- (whooping)
- ♪ I came to dance, dance, dance, dance... ♪

436
00:16:48,357 --> 00:16:50,724
Yeah! Rudy, it's coming up.

437
00:16:50,726 --> 00:16:51,926
Bear left, bro.

438
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,561
Yeah! Jesus, Rudy.

439
00:16:53,563 --> 00:16:55,797
What the fuck? Yeah!

440
00:16:55,799 --> 00:16:58,566
Oh, my God,
it's my fucking dad.

441
00:16:58,568 --> 00:17:00,401
♪ Hands, hands, hands, hands ♪

442
00:17:00,403 --> 00:17:02,070
♪ You, you... ♪

443
00:17:02,072 --> 00:17:04,505
("Dynamite" by Taio Cruz
playing)

444
00:17:04,507 --> 00:17:08,375
HUNTER:
Yeah! Prom night, bitches!

445
00:17:08,377 --> 00:17:11,078
(Hunter whooping)

446
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:12,346
- Yeah!
- Oh, God, it's him.

447
00:17:12,348 --> 00:17:13,881
Oh, what's up? Yo!

448
00:17:13,883 --> 00:17:16,851
(singing along to stereo):
♪ We gonna light it up ♪

449
00:17:16,853 --> 00:17:19,019
♪ Like it's prom night ♪

450
00:17:19,021 --> 00:17:20,954
Taio Cruz.

451
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,589
♪ Like it's prom night. ♪

452
00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:24,424
- You got this, girl.
- Don't mess this up,

453
00:17:24,426 --> 00:17:26,893
because that limo
is totally awesome.

454
00:17:26,895 --> 00:17:29,831
Sam. Sam.

455
00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:31,132
Taio Cruz.

456
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:32,600
Whew!

457
00:17:32,602 --> 00:17:35,135
(music stops)

458
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,537
Sorry.

459
00:17:36,539 --> 00:17:38,139
- Sorry. Ho!
- (sighs)

460
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,977
Whew! (grunts)

461
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,150
You're so grown up. (chuckles)

462
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:50,852
Dad, what are you doing here?

463
00:17:50,854 --> 00:17:53,387
You think I'm gonna miss
the most important night

464
00:17:53,389 --> 00:17:55,623
of your young life?
(chuckles)

465
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,158
- That's graduation.
- No.

466
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,659
Graduation's for losers.

467
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,027
Didn't even go
to my graduation.

468
00:18:00,029 --> 00:18:02,529
But prom night...
that's a big one.

469
00:18:02,531 --> 00:18:04,731
Prom was the best night
of my life.

470
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:06,133
I think about it every day,

471
00:18:06,135 --> 00:18:08,035
and I want you to have
the same experience.

472
00:18:08,037 --> 00:18:09,903
Tonight, you have fun.
You don't worry

473
00:18:09,905 --> 00:18:12,940
about any rules that your mom
or Frank laid down.

474
00:18:12,942 --> 00:18:14,776
No one gives a fuck
about Frank.

475
00:18:14,778 --> 00:18:16,043
All I know is this...
you look amazing,

476
00:18:16,045 --> 00:18:17,577
and I would love
to grab a quick pic.

477
00:18:17,579 --> 00:18:19,780
No. Go stand
with the other parents,

478
00:18:19,782 --> 00:18:21,615
and try to be normal.

479
00:18:21,617 --> 00:18:23,617
Sam, I'm not a normal parent.
I'm not gonna...

480
00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:25,420
Just... I don't even fucking...

481
00:18:25,422 --> 00:18:27,154
- Holy shit, you invited Hunter?
- No, of course not.

482
00:18:27,156 --> 00:18:29,489
I haven't talked to him since
he and Brenda got divorced.

483
00:18:29,491 --> 00:18:30,924
- You know he calls me all the time?
- What?

484
00:18:30,926 --> 00:18:32,993
He wants to play darts.
I don't play darts.

485
00:18:32,995 --> 00:18:34,662
- Darts?
- You kidding me?

486
00:18:34,664 --> 00:18:35,896
- Anyway, I can't hang out with him.
- HUNTER: Oh!

487
00:18:35,898 --> 00:18:37,698
- I'll be guilty by association.
- No, no.

488
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,866
- (grunts, whoops)
- I will never forgive that babysitter fucker.

489
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:41,635
- Hey, Hunter.
- Hey, man. Good to see you.

490
00:18:41,637 --> 00:18:42,903
- What up?
- Hey, all right?

491
00:18:42,905 --> 00:18:44,172
Mwah!

492
00:18:44,174 --> 00:18:47,475
- Ah.
- (Hunter laughing)

493
00:18:47,477 --> 00:18:49,009
Did you have another daughter?

494
00:18:49,011 --> 00:18:50,944
I did. I did. Thank you.

495
00:18:50,946 --> 00:18:53,079
- It's... it's been wonderful.
- Yeah.

496
00:18:53,081 --> 00:18:54,449
I'm thinking about
doing that again.

497
00:18:54,451 --> 00:18:55,615
You know,
the whole second round.

498
00:18:55,617 --> 00:18:57,151
I think a lot of dads kind of

499
00:18:57,153 --> 00:18:58,719
get it right
the second time around.

500
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,688
Or, you know, you could

501
00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:02,222
just raise the one
that you have.

502
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,825
Well, I did.
Too late for that.

503
00:19:03,827 --> 00:19:05,726
Raised. Job done.
Hi, honey.

504
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:07,495
LISA:
Actually, I heard,

505
00:19:07,497 --> 00:19:09,596
if you spend
a significant amount

506
00:19:09,598 --> 00:19:11,531
of time with your children,
that you develop

507
00:19:11,533 --> 00:19:14,935
some kind of, like,
telekinetic bond with them.

508
00:19:14,937 --> 00:19:17,004
- Is that true?
- I've heard. Mm-hmm.

509
00:19:17,006 --> 00:19:18,739
I hope it's not true,
'cause if it is,

510
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:21,608
Sam has been looking
at a lot of Asian porn.

511
00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:23,544
- (Hunter chuckling)
- My wife's Asian.

512
00:19:23,546 --> 00:19:24,912
Indian.

513
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,146
That's Asian.

514
00:19:26,148 --> 00:19:27,981
This is more like, uh...

515
00:19:27,983 --> 00:19:29,717
It looks like when...
the typical Asian.

516
00:19:29,719 --> 00:19:31,219
- Yep, good seeing you, man.
- Uh, okay.

517
00:19:31,221 --> 00:19:33,062
Good to see you, brother.
You know what I mean.

518
00:19:33,789 --> 00:19:35,489
Who's this guy? Who are you?

519
00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:36,958
Dad, this is my date.

520
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,860
Hi. Uh, it's great
to meet you, sir.

521
00:19:38,862 --> 00:19:40,060
- I'm-I'm Connor.
- Connor and I...

522
00:19:40,062 --> 00:19:41,229
we're in the same
science class.

523
00:19:41,231 --> 00:19:42,130
We're lab partners.

524
00:19:42,132 --> 00:19:43,864
Yeah, we're working
on our chemistry.

525
00:19:43,866 --> 00:19:45,633
(chuckles)

526
00:19:45,635 --> 00:19:47,034
CONNOR:
Uh...

527
00:19:47,036 --> 00:19:50,604
Um, I'm gonna get a napkin,
if that's cool.

528
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,106
Okay.

529
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,509
Okay, so, uh...

530
00:19:55,511 --> 00:19:59,113
with this, it's, uh, one shot
to the groin, stab and drag.

531
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,615
I refuse to believe
she couldn't do better

532
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:05,052
- than that loser.
- Oh, I think Chad seems nice.

533
00:20:05,054 --> 00:20:06,187
HUNTER:
Chad? No, Chad's amazing.

534
00:20:06,189 --> 00:20:07,889
- Look at that fedora.
- Yeah.

535
00:20:07,891 --> 00:20:09,589
I'm not talking about Chad.

536
00:20:09,591 --> 00:20:11,191
I'm talking about
fucking Frank. What a dick.

537
00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:13,227
LISA: Frank does not seem
like a dick to me.

538
00:20:13,229 --> 00:20:15,229
He seems like a nice guy.

539
00:20:15,231 --> 00:20:16,998
And you know what?
Don't blame Brenda.

540
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,798
It's really hard being alone.

541
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,634
HUNTER: Well, let's just agree
to disagree on Frank.

542
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,269
Oh, here they come.
Okay, just be cool.

543
00:20:22,271 --> 00:20:24,572
He's gonna talk about his
tow truck company instantly.

544
00:20:24,574 --> 00:20:27,541
I guarantee you he's gonna
throw that shit in my face.

545
00:20:27,543 --> 00:20:28,742
Be cool, be cool, be cool.

546
00:20:28,744 --> 00:20:29,876
(clears throat) Brenda.

547
00:20:29,878 --> 00:20:31,180
Hunter.

548
00:20:32,248 --> 00:20:33,247
Frank.

549
00:20:33,249 --> 00:20:35,883
- Lisa.
- What'd I do?

550
00:20:35,885 --> 00:20:38,018
I'm sorry. I don't know why I
just said your name like that.

551
00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:39,152
This is so nice. Thank you.

552
00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:40,824
You're welcome.

553
00:20:42,791 --> 00:20:44,558
- (sighs)
- Okay.

554
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,826
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Lis, Lis, Lis, Lis, Lis.

555
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:48,328
- I got to go get Julie's wrap.
- Mm.

556
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,297
(sighs) Were you gonna
let our daughter

557
00:20:50,299 --> 00:20:51,932
take a fucking Lyft to prom?

558
00:20:51,934 --> 00:20:53,601
What is this, Afghanistan?

559
00:20:53,603 --> 00:20:54,868
How'd you pay for that limo,
Hunter?

560
00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:56,269
'Cause I know your credit's
in the shitter.

561
00:20:56,271 --> 00:20:57,805
It is.

562
00:20:57,807 --> 00:20:59,839
'Cause I bought your mom
a wheelchair.

563
00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:01,174
She's gonna pay you back.

564
00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:03,044
With what money, Brenda?
Can she pay me back

565
00:21:03,046 --> 00:21:04,345
with crackers that she steals
from restaurants?

566
00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:05,880
I don't want
to talk about your mom.

567
00:21:05,882 --> 00:21:07,147
I don't want to talk
about her wheelchair.

568
00:21:07,149 --> 00:21:08,649
All I care about
is that my daughter

569
00:21:08,651 --> 00:21:09,784
has the greatest night
of her life.

570
00:21:09,786 --> 00:21:11,952
If it was her greatest night,
you would not be here.

571
00:21:11,954 --> 00:21:13,621
Oh, what a sick burn.

572
00:21:13,623 --> 00:21:15,056
FRANK: All right,
all right, all right.

573
00:21:15,058 --> 00:21:16,923
- Good.
- Yo, wait, yo, yo. We're all adults here.

574
00:21:16,925 --> 00:21:20,260
Let's not make it uncomfortable
if you're gonna be around more.

575
00:21:20,262 --> 00:21:22,162
- Let's have a beer sometime.
- Okay, first of all,

576
00:21:22,164 --> 00:21:24,164
I don't want to go
to have a beer with you.

577
00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:26,100
I don't want to hang out
with you. I don't like you.

578
00:21:26,102 --> 00:21:27,835
I don't like your wife.
I don't like your guys' deal.

579
00:21:27,837 --> 00:21:29,336
I think it sucks
and it's played out.

580
00:21:29,338 --> 00:21:31,806
Hey, if you ever change
your mind, here's my card.

581
00:21:31,808 --> 00:21:33,708
Ah, here we go.
"Tow with Frank."

582
00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:35,643
Where'd you come up
with that name?

583
00:21:35,645 --> 00:21:37,612
- It's very straightforward.
- All right, I'll tell you this.

584
00:21:37,614 --> 00:21:39,113
The design of that card
is pretty cool.

585
00:21:39,115 --> 00:21:40,815
And my favorite part
is right fucking there.

586
00:21:40,817 --> 00:21:42,653
Oh, God.

587
00:21:51,293 --> 00:21:53,229
♪ ♪

588
00:22:12,115 --> 00:22:14,114
BRENDA: Wow, that is just...
No, that's us, Frank.

589
00:22:14,116 --> 00:22:16,083
- You know what?
- I got it. I got it.

590
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:17,284
You've taken about 15
goddamn selfies.

591
00:22:17,286 --> 00:22:18,719
- Yeah!
- All right.

592
00:22:18,721 --> 00:22:20,254
All right. Cool.

593
00:22:20,256 --> 00:22:21,322
Bye, Mom.

594
00:22:21,324 --> 00:22:23,056
- Have fun, honey. Okay.
- I will.

595
00:22:23,058 --> 00:22:24,290
Bye, Dad.

596
00:22:24,292 --> 00:22:27,094
Remember... stab, turn, drag.

597
00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:28,328
I don't have the knife, Dad.

598
00:22:28,330 --> 00:22:29,329
Yes, you do.
Check your clutch.

599
00:22:29,331 --> 00:22:31,731
(Kayla groans)

600
00:22:31,733 --> 00:22:33,334
Hey, uh, it's been
a pleasure, sir.

601
00:22:33,336 --> 00:22:36,336
I really, um,
it's... I'm honored.

602
00:22:36,338 --> 00:22:37,904
- (hands clap)
- Oh.

603
00:22:37,906 --> 00:22:39,373
Intense, professional grip.

604
00:22:39,375 --> 00:22:40,908
Cheers.

605
00:22:40,910 --> 00:22:42,710
Take it easy, big guy.

606
00:22:42,712 --> 00:22:46,012
Hey, uh, you guys have
a good night, too, you know.

607
00:22:46,014 --> 00:22:47,414
MARCIE:
Thank you.

608
00:22:47,416 --> 00:22:49,383
See that smirk?
What was up with that smirk?

609
00:22:49,385 --> 00:22:51,451
You are intense.

610
00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:52,987
- HUNTER: Sam. Hey.
- Oh, hey, Mr. Lockwood.

611
00:22:52,989 --> 00:22:54,055
- Hey.
- Nice to meet you.

612
00:22:54,057 --> 00:22:56,222
- Chad, yes, come on, man. Bring it in.
- Yes. Oh.

613
00:22:56,224 --> 00:22:57,458
Good. Yeah.

614
00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:58,992
My hat.

615
00:22:58,994 --> 00:23:01,729
- I want to talk to Sam real quick.
- Yeah. Okay.

616
00:23:01,731 --> 00:23:03,998
Uh, let-let me get
a picture real quick. Chad.

617
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,900
- Oh. Okay.
- Real quick photo. Just so fast.

618
00:23:05,902 --> 00:23:07,168
Just don't even fuck
with a filter.

619
00:23:07,170 --> 00:23:08,236
- Just-just plain.
- Okay. Here we go.

620
00:23:08,238 --> 00:23:10,136
- There we go. And there.
- And then you want to get

621
00:23:10,138 --> 00:23:11,439
a quick one of me and Chad
real quick?

622
00:23:11,441 --> 00:23:12,339
- That sounds cool.
- Here you go.

623
00:23:12,341 --> 00:23:13,908
- Okay. - Yep.
- Sammy, here you go, baby.

624
00:23:13,910 --> 00:23:15,142
Real quick.
Just a couple fun ones.

625
00:23:15,144 --> 00:23:16,477
CHAD: What are we doing?
Uh... like this?

626
00:23:16,479 --> 00:23:18,345
- Bros.
- (camera clicks)

627
00:23:18,347 --> 00:23:20,014
HUNTER:
Duck lips.

628
00:23:20,016 --> 00:23:22,115
- (camera clicks)
- And then just kind of a...

629
00:23:22,117 --> 00:23:23,750
Julie?

630
00:23:23,752 --> 00:23:25,286
Can I talk to you a second?

631
00:23:25,288 --> 00:23:27,188
We got to go. I love you.

632
00:23:27,190 --> 00:23:28,255
I'd really like to talk to you.

633
00:23:28,257 --> 00:23:29,923
But I really gotta go.

634
00:23:29,925 --> 00:23:31,357
Okay, fine.
Just don't forget your wrap.

635
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:32,960
It's okay.

636
00:23:32,962 --> 00:23:34,729
- I don't think I need it.
- Are you sure?

637
00:23:34,731 --> 00:23:37,464
Because we live in Chicago,
and it's chilly.

638
00:23:37,466 --> 00:23:39,299
I don't know
about other places,

639
00:23:39,301 --> 00:23:42,004
but it gets cold in Illinois.

640
00:23:43,772 --> 00:23:45,239
It's not that cold tonight,
so I don't

641
00:23:45,241 --> 00:23:47,274
- think I need it, okay?
- Okay, Julie, wait.

642
00:23:47,276 --> 00:23:49,809
So you'll call me when you get
to Austin's after prom, right?

643
00:23:49,811 --> 00:23:50,810
Right.

644
00:23:50,812 --> 00:23:52,479
Okay.

645
00:23:52,481 --> 00:23:54,214
- Okay.
- I love you.

646
00:23:54,216 --> 00:23:56,052
Okay. I-I love you.

647
00:23:57,220 --> 00:23:58,752
Okay!

648
00:23:58,754 --> 00:24:00,054
Whew.

649
00:24:00,056 --> 00:24:02,021
- (engine starts)
- Mm. Okay.

650
00:24:02,023 --> 00:24:03,726
(squealing, shouting)

651
00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:09,997
- (whooping)
- CONNOR: This is so cool!

652
00:24:09,999 --> 00:24:11,865
- (cheering)
- Blow it out!

653
00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:13,334
(whooping)

654
00:24:13,336 --> 00:24:14,802
- CONNOR: Chad, I, um...
- (cell phone dinging)

655
00:24:14,804 --> 00:24:16,037
I saw you do <i>Pippin</i>
last year.

656
00:24:16,039 --> 00:24:18,005
- That was really good. - Oh.
- KAYLA: Nice. - (Sam chuckling)

657
00:24:18,007 --> 00:24:19,507
CONNOR: Yeah, you're a
really good singer, man.

658
00:24:19,509 --> 00:24:20,909
- What are you doing this year?
- Yeah. Um, we're actually

659
00:24:20,911 --> 00:24:24,010
doing <i>Arnold,</i> which is
an all-male version of <i>Annie.</i>

660
00:24:24,012 --> 00:24:26,346
- CONNOR: Okay.
- RUDY: Caught you drinking.

661
00:24:26,348 --> 00:24:28,348
(laughs)
Just kidding, y'all.

662
00:24:28,350 --> 00:24:31,852
I may look like a parent,
but I assure you, I am no narc.

663
00:24:31,854 --> 00:24:34,290
Thank you, sir.

664
00:24:35,825 --> 00:24:37,892
Not done yet. Name's Rudy.

665
00:24:37,894 --> 00:24:39,425
I did not go to my prom.

666
00:24:39,427 --> 00:24:41,362
No, my leg was crushed
by a cement truck,

667
00:24:41,364 --> 00:24:42,962
so I could not dance, but...

668
00:24:42,964 --> 00:24:45,165
So I've made it
my mission in life...

669
00:24:45,167 --> 00:24:46,467
well, my whole career...

670
00:24:46,469 --> 00:24:48,501
to make sure
that little kids like you

671
00:24:48,503 --> 00:24:50,871
have a wonderful night
to remember forever.

672
00:24:50,873 --> 00:24:54,475
So just sit back, relax
and enjoy your prom night.

673
00:24:54,477 --> 00:24:55,976
- (laughter, whooping)
- Okay.

674
00:24:55,978 --> 00:24:58,949
RUDY: Oh, fuck,
that was the turn! Fuck!

675
00:25:00,383 --> 00:25:02,383
MITCHELL:
Hey, Lis?

676
00:25:02,385 --> 00:25:04,151
You got any S.O.S. pads?

677
00:25:04,153 --> 00:25:06,386
I'm soaking those pans,
but you burnt the shit

678
00:25:06,388 --> 00:25:08,389
out of that mac and cheese,
and...

679
00:25:08,391 --> 00:25:10,825
sponge just isn't gonna cut it.

680
00:25:10,827 --> 00:25:12,593
Thanks for helping clean up.

681
00:25:12,595 --> 00:25:14,394
Don't mention this one.

682
00:25:14,396 --> 00:25:17,364
I mean, Marcie brought the baby
home early, and...

683
00:25:17,366 --> 00:25:18,999
I got to keep busy.

684
00:25:19,001 --> 00:25:22,068
I got to keep my mind off
of Kayla and "Connor."

685
00:25:22,070 --> 00:25:24,872
That's not the right way
to use those.

686
00:25:24,874 --> 00:25:27,106
'Cause his name
is actually Connor.

687
00:25:27,108 --> 00:25:28,377
So...

688
00:25:29,912 --> 00:25:31,444
It's okay.

689
00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:33,581
- UCLA?
- Uh-huh.

690
00:25:33,583 --> 00:25:35,181
I didn't mean to snoop,
but I'm...

691
00:25:35,183 --> 00:25:36,450
No, no. It's okay.

692
00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:38,352
I mean, I don't think
it's a real thing.

693
00:25:38,354 --> 00:25:39,920
She's not actually gonna go.

694
00:25:39,922 --> 00:25:41,855
I think she just applied
for fun.

695
00:25:41,857 --> 00:25:44,191
She didn't... Why?
Have you heard differently?

696
00:25:44,193 --> 00:25:46,893
I would assume it's to go,
but she very well

697
00:25:46,895 --> 00:25:48,863
could have applied ironically.

698
00:25:48,865 --> 00:25:50,264
You... you know millennials,
right?

699
00:25:50,266 --> 00:25:51,899
- Hmm. Mm-hmm.
- And wherever she goes,

700
00:25:51,901 --> 00:25:53,901
you can have a bunch of time
on your hands.

701
00:25:53,903 --> 00:25:55,068
Can figure out
what you want to do

702
00:25:55,070 --> 00:25:56,135
for the back nine of your life.

703
00:25:56,137 --> 00:25:57,337
Uh-huh. Yeah.

704
00:25:57,339 --> 00:25:59,139
(computer chiming)

705
00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:02,008
I think Julie
left her laptop open.

706
00:26:02,010 --> 00:26:04,044
Julie's doing a lot of texting.

707
00:26:04,046 --> 00:26:06,012
- Mm-hmm.
- Is everything okay?

708
00:26:06,014 --> 00:26:07,948
Maybe we should check to see?

709
00:26:07,950 --> 00:26:09,283
- Peace of mind.
- Yeah.

710
00:26:09,285 --> 00:26:10,587
(chiming continues)

711
00:26:13,889 --> 00:26:15,256
MITCHELL:
What the hell is that?

712
00:26:15,258 --> 00:26:17,156
LISA:
I have no idea.

713
00:26:17,158 --> 00:26:19,161
(toilet flushes)

714
00:26:20,328 --> 00:26:21,595
What are you still doing here?

715
00:26:21,597 --> 00:26:23,229
Hey, your, uh...

716
00:26:23,231 --> 00:26:25,932
your mac and cheese
is messed up.

717
00:26:25,934 --> 00:26:28,434
(computer chiming)

718
00:26:28,436 --> 00:26:30,671
Are you guys snooping
on your kids?

719
00:26:30,673 --> 00:26:32,472
That is not cool.

720
00:26:32,474 --> 00:26:34,941
No, it's not snooping
if the information shows up.

721
00:26:34,943 --> 00:26:36,075
That's exactly
what snooping is.

722
00:26:36,077 --> 00:26:37,644
No, it's like the Patriot Act.
It's...

723
00:26:37,646 --> 00:26:39,412
Well, it's not like
the Patriot Act.

724
00:26:39,414 --> 00:26:41,181
- It's like snooping.
- LISA: Okay, we don't know

725
00:26:41,183 --> 00:26:42,682
what they're talking about,
so...

726
00:26:42,684 --> 00:26:44,050
- What?
- Okay.

727
00:26:44,052 --> 00:26:45,486
Oh, is it like puzzles?

728
00:26:45,488 --> 00:26:47,587
Ooh, ooh! I love puzzles.
Just saw <i>Inferno.</i>

729
00:26:47,589 --> 00:26:49,422
MITCHELL: Yeah, great.
What are they saying?

730
00:26:49,424 --> 00:26:51,158
Okay, so there's something
about an eggplant hand...

731
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:52,992
- handshake.
- Eggplant agreement.

732
00:26:52,994 --> 00:26:55,028
Yeah. They got an agreement
to make eggplant parmesan.

733
00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:56,931
No, eggplants are dicks
in teenage emoji language.

734
00:26:56,933 --> 00:26:58,265
- What?
- LISA: You know what, that's true.

735
00:26:58,267 --> 00:26:59,600
Julie told me that...
that the emojis have...

736
00:26:59,602 --> 00:27:01,402
- they all have secret meanings.
- Mm-hmm.

737
00:27:01,404 --> 00:27:04,939
So, like, trees are weed,
and snowflakes are cocaine,

738
00:27:04,941 --> 00:27:07,574
and that thing is "yas queen."

739
00:27:07,576 --> 00:27:09,476
- Yas queen!
- What the hell is that?

740
00:27:09,478 --> 00:27:10,611
- You've never heard of "yas queen"?
- No.

741
00:27:10,613 --> 00:27:11,612
All right, grandpa.

742
00:27:11,614 --> 00:27:13,614
Hold on. Julie is making...

743
00:27:13,616 --> 00:27:16,316
some kind of a dick-related
agreement here.

744
00:27:16,318 --> 00:27:18,552
Kayla is in on the agreement.

745
00:27:18,554 --> 00:27:20,120
- No fucking way.
- "Okay, clown face."

746
00:27:20,122 --> 00:27:22,088
What the fuck does that mean?

747
00:27:22,090 --> 00:27:24,960
That means she's down to clown.

748
00:27:26,729 --> 00:27:27,827
- LISA: Okay.
- MITCHELL: Three eggplants?

749
00:27:27,829 --> 00:27:29,963
And look at the drool coming
out of that smiley face.

750
00:27:29,965 --> 00:27:30,797
You wish that was drool.

751
00:27:30,799 --> 00:27:31,766
- That's come, my man.
- Stand down.

752
00:27:31,768 --> 00:27:33,968
It is. Look, it's come.
He's like... (moans)

753
00:27:33,970 --> 00:27:36,002
LISA: This is sex
if I've ever seen it

754
00:27:36,004 --> 00:27:38,005
- illustrated in emoji form.
- Oh, no, no, no. Maybe not.

755
00:27:38,007 --> 00:27:39,506
They're best friends.
They're just saying, like,

756
00:27:39,508 --> 00:27:41,475
"You're okay with me.
You're okay to me.

757
00:27:41,477 --> 00:27:43,576
- You're okay to me."
- You say that to your friends?

758
00:27:43,578 --> 00:27:45,011
Whenever I see my friends,
I go,

759
00:27:45,013 --> 00:27:46,180
"Hey, you're okay with me."

760
00:27:46,182 --> 00:27:47,581
- I don't use these.
- HUNTER: Hold on.

761
00:27:47,583 --> 00:27:49,450
Agreement hands,
agreement hands,

762
00:27:49,452 --> 00:27:51,352
agreement hands. This is a...
It's a sex agreement.

763
00:27:51,354 --> 00:27:53,354
- They're making a sex pact.
- (Mitchell stammers)

764
00:27:53,356 --> 00:27:55,489
They're gonna lose
their virginity on prom night.

765
00:27:55,491 --> 00:27:57,290
That cannot be a sex pact.

766
00:27:57,292 --> 00:27:58,758
That? That is friendship.

767
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,428
And that is... that is the bond
of friendship

768
00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:03,063
that can never be broken.

769
00:28:03,065 --> 00:28:04,364
- I mean, maybe. - Yeah.
- (computer chimes)

770
00:28:04,366 --> 00:28:06,200
Oh, look, they wrote
"Sex Pact 2018."

771
00:28:06,202 --> 00:28:09,036
I fucking knew it!
I love puzzles.

772
00:28:09,038 --> 00:28:10,570
I told you guys.
Have you seen <i>Inferno?</i>

773
00:28:10,572 --> 00:28:12,306
- Lis, have you seen <i>Inferno?</i>
- Call your kid.

774
00:28:12,308 --> 00:28:13,774
Have you guys seen <i>Inferno?</i>

775
00:28:13,776 --> 00:28:15,642
I figured it out in two
seconds. Did you see <i>Inferno?</i>

776
00:28:15,644 --> 00:28:17,478
The guy jumps off the thing
in the beginning.

777
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,512
He's got a virus. Have you seen
<i>Inferno</i> with Tom Hanks?

778
00:28:19,514 --> 00:28:21,181
Okay. Okay, she's not
answering her phone.

779
00:28:21,183 --> 00:28:22,415
Yeah, Kayla isn't, either.

780
00:28:22,417 --> 00:28:23,683
Okay, what the heck
is happening?

781
00:28:23,685 --> 00:28:25,419
She's always been honest
with me.

782
00:28:25,421 --> 00:28:27,086
She's always told me the truth,

783
00:28:27,088 --> 00:28:29,489
and now I'm just swimming
in a pool of lies.

784
00:28:29,491 --> 00:28:31,124
Okay. Here's what's
gonna happen.

785
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:33,760
She's gonna have sex
with that Austin kid,

786
00:28:33,762 --> 00:28:36,195
and then she's gonna think
that she has

787
00:28:36,197 --> 00:28:39,333
all these feelings, which she
does not actually have,

788
00:28:39,335 --> 00:28:41,567
then she's gonna drive
across country

789
00:28:41,569 --> 00:28:44,805
and follow him
and ruin her fucking life.

790
00:28:44,807 --> 00:28:46,339
Okay, I think that's
a pretty big

791
00:28:46,341 --> 00:28:47,708
leap to make when you read a...

792
00:28:47,710 --> 00:28:51,178
I have invested
every single piece of my being

793
00:28:51,180 --> 00:28:53,047
into preparing Kayla
for success, and now this?

794
00:28:53,049 --> 00:28:57,584
She is about to have sex with
some dipshit with a "man bun."

795
00:28:57,586 --> 00:29:00,220
You're not using those
in the right way.

796
00:29:00,222 --> 00:29:02,355
Hey, can we all come back
to "planet Earth"?

797
00:29:02,357 --> 00:29:04,124
'Cause this is not a big deal.

798
00:29:04,126 --> 00:29:05,726
They're teenage girls.
They have sex.

799
00:29:05,728 --> 00:29:09,532
Do you, like, freak out when
you see a bee fucking a flower?

800
00:29:12,835 --> 00:29:15,268
- I'm gonna stop her.
- I'm in.

801
00:29:15,270 --> 00:29:17,136
Let's cock-block
those motherfuckers.

802
00:29:17,138 --> 00:29:19,172
Whoa.
(stammers, makes buzzing sound)

803
00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:20,606
No, sir. Uh-uh.
No, no, no, no.

804
00:29:20,608 --> 00:29:22,375
I promised Sam the greatest
night of her life,

805
00:29:22,377 --> 00:29:23,844
and if you guys fuck up
your daughters' night,

806
00:29:23,846 --> 00:29:25,445
it's gonna fuck up
my daughter's night,

807
00:29:25,447 --> 00:29:27,181
and that shit is "not cool."

808
00:29:27,183 --> 00:29:28,582
I don't give a fuck
what's cool with you.

809
00:29:28,584 --> 00:29:30,383
Let's go, Mitchell.
I'll drive.

810
00:29:30,385 --> 00:29:31,751
Hey, hey, hey, wait!
No, no, no.

811
00:29:31,753 --> 00:29:33,152
You want to go?

812
00:29:33,154 --> 00:29:34,520
You're gonna have
to go through me.

813
00:29:34,522 --> 00:29:35,823
- (Lisa growls)
- Oh, Jesus.

814
00:29:35,825 --> 00:29:37,524
Okay, you called my bluff.
Wait.

815
00:29:37,526 --> 00:29:39,192
Wait! Hey, hey!

816
00:29:39,194 --> 00:29:40,594
- Get off! Get off of me!
- Hey! Hey!

817
00:29:40,596 --> 00:29:42,462
- Get off!
- It's not cool!

818
00:29:42,464 --> 00:29:44,198
"It's not cool!"

819
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,568
Hey! What's the plan?
This is stupid.

820
00:29:49,872 --> 00:29:52,105
Fuck off.

821
00:29:52,107 --> 00:29:54,307
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
What the fuck are you doing?

822
00:29:54,309 --> 00:29:56,610
I just need to talk to
my daughter for five minutes.

823
00:29:56,612 --> 00:29:58,144
Get out of the car!

824
00:29:58,146 --> 00:29:59,645
- You get out. You get out.
- You get out.

825
00:29:59,647 --> 00:30:01,347
- Stop saying what I'm saying.
- MITCHELL: Open the door!

826
00:30:01,349 --> 00:30:02,883
- Stop saying what I'm saying.
- Stop saying what I'm saying.

827
00:30:02,885 --> 00:30:04,485
- Stop... Okay, listen, listen.
- MITCHELL: Hey.

828
00:30:04,487 --> 00:30:06,152
Lis. Okay, everyone calm down,
calm down.

829
00:30:06,154 --> 00:30:07,688
- But you got to go.
- The-the window.

830
00:30:07,690 --> 00:30:09,556
- No, the window.
- HUNTER: Hey.

831
00:30:09,558 --> 00:30:11,691
- What the fuck? No! Holy...
- (Mitchell grunting)

832
00:30:11,693 --> 00:30:13,427
(grunting)

833
00:30:13,429 --> 00:30:14,627
(groans)

834
00:30:14,629 --> 00:30:15,895
MITCHELL:
Ah, these are new shorts!

835
00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:17,163
HUNTER:
Truce! Truce!

836
00:30:17,165 --> 00:30:18,265
Truce.

837
00:30:18,267 --> 00:30:20,433
Truce, truce, truce.

838
00:30:20,435 --> 00:30:22,169
- (horn honks)
- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

839
00:30:22,171 --> 00:30:23,703
- (Lisa yelps)
- Oh, my fucking God.

840
00:30:23,705 --> 00:30:24,705
Aah!

841
00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:26,839
Sorry, man.

842
00:30:26,841 --> 00:30:28,142
It's not gonna work.

843
00:30:28,144 --> 00:30:29,479
You're not Schwarzenegger.

844
00:30:31,547 --> 00:30:33,313
How is that possible?

845
00:30:33,315 --> 00:30:35,181
How is that possible?
Oh, shit.

846
00:30:35,183 --> 00:30:36,749
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh!

847
00:30:36,751 --> 00:30:38,152
Oh, my balls! My balls!

848
00:30:38,154 --> 00:30:39,486
(yells) Your ass is so...

849
00:30:39,488 --> 00:30:40,653
(grunting)

850
00:30:40,655 --> 00:30:42,689
- Get...
- Hey! Hey!

851
00:30:42,691 --> 00:30:44,290
- Get out!
- Not cool! Aah!

852
00:30:44,292 --> 00:30:45,726
You're bullying me.

853
00:30:45,728 --> 00:30:46,927
This is bullying.

854
00:30:46,929 --> 00:30:49,328
What you're doing is wrong!

855
00:30:49,330 --> 00:30:51,664
You know your daughter's
in this stupid sex pact, too.

856
00:30:51,666 --> 00:30:54,200
Yeah, and she's not gonna
do anything about it, okay?

857
00:30:54,202 --> 00:30:56,269
Oh, like you would know
what your daughter's gonna do.

858
00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:58,271
Okay, first of all, ouch.

859
00:30:58,273 --> 00:30:59,772
Second of all, I know nothing

860
00:30:59,774 --> 00:31:02,209
is gonna happen with Sam
because...

861
00:31:02,211 --> 00:31:03,777
because she's gay.

862
00:31:03,779 --> 00:31:04,944
Really?

863
00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:06,579
Did she come out to you?

864
00:31:06,581 --> 00:31:07,647
No, of course not.

865
00:31:07,649 --> 00:31:09,249
She barely speaks to me.

866
00:31:09,251 --> 00:31:10,651
Then how do you know?

867
00:31:10,653 --> 00:31:11,951
Because, bro, I'm her dad.

868
00:31:11,953 --> 00:31:13,953
And there's just
some things you know.

869
00:31:13,955 --> 00:31:15,288
Chad is nothing.

870
00:31:15,290 --> 00:31:16,556
He's like a beard.

871
00:31:16,558 --> 00:31:18,491
Or whatever a lesbian beard is.

872
00:31:18,493 --> 00:31:19,559
A merkin?

873
00:31:19,561 --> 00:31:20,960
I don't know. The point is,

874
00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:23,229
I guarantee you
they don't even kiss, okay?

875
00:31:23,231 --> 00:31:24,864
I'm not worried about that.
I'm worried about

876
00:31:24,866 --> 00:31:26,732
you two dicks
fucking up her night.

877
00:31:26,734 --> 00:31:28,935
Okay, well, what you don't
understand is that sex

878
00:31:28,937 --> 00:31:31,470
can be very confusing
for young girls

879
00:31:31,472 --> 00:31:34,441
and make them say things and do
things that they might regret.

880
00:31:34,443 --> 00:31:35,909
Like dropping out of college

881
00:31:35,911 --> 00:31:38,211
to follow around
the Dave Matthews Band

882
00:31:38,213 --> 00:31:39,680
with a guy they think they love

883
00:31:39,682 --> 00:31:41,681
who then winds up
getting them pregnant

884
00:31:41,683 --> 00:31:44,284
and then leaving them
for the girl who makes

885
00:31:44,286 --> 00:31:47,724
grilled cheese sandwiches
with hash aioli on them.

886
00:31:48,856 --> 00:31:50,923
Yeah, that is a...

887
00:31:50,925 --> 00:31:54,627
extremely specific scenario,
and that won't happen to Julie.

888
00:31:54,629 --> 00:31:56,262
Dave's not even touring
right now.

889
00:31:56,264 --> 00:31:57,797
He's taking time off
for fatherhood.

890
00:31:57,799 --> 00:31:59,566
It was me, you idiot.

891
00:31:59,568 --> 00:32:01,567
Me. That happened to me.

892
00:32:01,569 --> 00:32:03,237
Yeah.

893
00:32:03,239 --> 00:32:05,639
♪ Yeah, move somethin',
move somethin' ♪

894
00:32:05,641 --> 00:32:08,275
♪ Make you wanna do somethin',
do somethin' ♪

895
00:32:08,277 --> 00:32:10,710
♪ Dance for the night,
live for the day ♪

896
00:32:10,712 --> 00:32:13,313
♪ Hey, ho, hey ♪

897
00:32:13,315 --> 00:32:15,382
♪ Yeah, move somethin',
move somethin'... ♪

898
00:32:15,384 --> 00:32:17,284
You weren't ready.
Okay, one more, one more.

899
00:32:17,286 --> 00:32:18,785
Smile.

900
00:32:18,787 --> 00:32:19,786
I closed my eyes.

901
00:32:19,788 --> 00:32:21,787
Oh, my God.

902
00:32:21,789 --> 00:32:23,923
(gasps)
You guys, this is our song.

903
00:32:23,925 --> 00:32:26,360
Do you remember when we got
snowed in at Sam's

904
00:32:26,362 --> 00:32:27,893
and we played this, like,
over and over?

905
00:32:27,895 --> 00:32:29,363
- Yes!
- We have to dance!

906
00:32:29,365 --> 00:32:30,896
- We have to dance!
- This is our jam!

907
00:32:30,898 --> 00:32:33,299
♪ Scream my name ♪

908
00:32:33,301 --> 00:32:35,335
♪ I love me ♪

909
00:32:35,337 --> 00:32:37,871
♪ Gonna love myself,
no, I don't need anybody else ♪

910
00:32:37,873 --> 00:32:39,873
♪ Hey, gonna love myself ♪

911
00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:41,475
♪ No, I don't need
anybody else ♪

912
00:32:41,477 --> 00:32:43,343
♪ I love me,
can't help myself ♪

913
00:32:43,345 --> 00:32:45,345
♪ No, I don't need
anybody else... ♪

914
00:32:45,347 --> 00:32:46,479
- Hey. Hey.
- Hey.

915
00:32:46,481 --> 00:32:47,547
- I want a drink.
- Okay.

916
00:32:47,549 --> 00:32:48,582
Yeah, let's go get one.

917
00:32:48,584 --> 00:32:50,683
No, no, no, no. Like, a drink.

918
00:32:50,685 --> 00:32:51,918
Oh, you want a "drink" drink.

919
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:53,854
- Yeah.
- Okay, let me call my guy.

920
00:32:53,856 --> 00:32:55,555
Hello, Mr. Drink-Drink.

921
00:32:55,557 --> 00:32:58,325
- Let's go get fucked up.
- Okay.

922
00:32:58,327 --> 00:33:00,326
Hey, wait, Kayla, Kayla.

923
00:33:00,328 --> 00:33:01,627
Ah, it's...

924
00:33:01,629 --> 00:33:04,463
♪ Any time that I like ♪

925
00:33:04,465 --> 00:33:05,934
♪ I love me... ♪

926
00:33:11,472 --> 00:33:13,573
Hey, Chad.

927
00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:15,409
I'm gonna go get, uh,
some dessert.

928
00:33:15,411 --> 00:33:17,376
- Get me two.
- (Julie chuckling)

929
00:33:17,378 --> 00:33:21,047
♪ The beautiful,
it comes without you, yeah ♪

930
00:33:21,049 --> 00:33:24,950
♪ I'm gonna put my body first ♪

931
00:33:24,952 --> 00:33:26,987
♪ And love me so hard... ♪

932
00:33:26,989 --> 00:33:29,556
Hey, Angelica,
it's a nice cape.

933
00:33:29,558 --> 00:33:31,325
Oh, hey, Sam.

934
00:33:31,327 --> 00:33:33,559
Thank you.

935
00:33:33,561 --> 00:33:35,562
♪ Scream the words... ♪

936
00:33:35,564 --> 00:33:37,831
Um, yeah, it's a...
it's a Galadriel cape

937
00:33:37,833 --> 00:33:39,966
that I made a couple months ago
for LordCon.

938
00:33:39,968 --> 00:33:41,634
Figured I could wear it again.

939
00:33:41,636 --> 00:33:44,070
Not too much overlap
on the guest list.

940
00:33:44,072 --> 00:33:45,806
(chuckling):
Yeah.

941
00:33:45,808 --> 00:33:47,807
Yeah, totally.

942
00:33:47,809 --> 00:33:49,442
(laughs)

943
00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:51,478
Who'd you come here with?

944
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,579
Um, just my friends.

945
00:33:53,581 --> 00:33:56,018
Lauren and I broke up.

946
00:33:57,353 --> 00:33:58,485
Oh.

947
00:33:58,487 --> 00:34:00,120
No hard feelings, though.

948
00:34:00,122 --> 00:34:03,526
Um, she's still
a little confused.

949
00:34:04,926 --> 00:34:07,660
How do you think one becomes...

950
00:34:07,662 --> 00:34:10,564
not confused?

951
00:34:10,566 --> 00:34:14,000
It's probably different
for everyone.

952
00:34:14,002 --> 00:34:16,402
But for me, when I kissed
Brad Markowski,

953
00:34:16,404 --> 00:34:17,770
I started to suspect it.

954
00:34:17,772 --> 00:34:19,406
And then last year,
when I touched

955
00:34:19,408 --> 00:34:22,576
Dash Lowenstein's dick,
I was like, "Fuck no."

956
00:34:22,578 --> 00:34:24,810
It was like holding
a dead snake.

957
00:34:24,812 --> 00:34:26,048
Hmm.

958
00:34:28,417 --> 00:34:30,553
But I guess you never know
until you try.

959
00:34:31,919 --> 00:34:35,421
♪ I know how
to scream my own name ♪

960
00:34:35,423 --> 00:34:39,392
♪ Scream my name... ♪

961
00:34:39,394 --> 00:34:41,060
Uh, before I do drink this,
though,

962
00:34:41,062 --> 00:34:42,696
I just want to let you know

963
00:34:42,698 --> 00:34:44,834
that I am fully planning
on having sex tonight.

964
00:34:46,468 --> 00:34:47,933
With... with you.

965
00:34:47,935 --> 00:34:50,971
Yeah, I-I mean,
wherever the wind blows us.

966
00:34:50,973 --> 00:34:53,140
Well, the wind's
gonna blow us there.

967
00:34:53,142 --> 00:34:54,808
Wherever the night takes us,
it's...

968
00:34:54,810 --> 00:34:56,642
It's gonna take your penis
into my vagina.

969
00:34:56,644 --> 00:35:00,480
Okay, uh, you know,
if the universe wills it.

970
00:35:00,482 --> 00:35:02,585
And the universe will will it.

971
00:35:04,486 --> 00:35:06,888
(chuckles) Thanks for
letting me know, I guess.

972
00:35:08,156 --> 00:35:09,689
- (groans)
- Oh, yeah.

973
00:35:09,691 --> 00:35:11,558
- Oh, my God.
- I warned you.

974
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:12,993
- This is what gin tastes like?
- No, no.

975
00:35:12,995 --> 00:35:14,593
I've heard that gin sucks,
and this sucks.

976
00:35:14,595 --> 00:35:15,629
No, it's...

977
00:35:15,631 --> 00:35:18,665
- I made it. Um...
- Oh.

978
00:35:18,667 --> 00:35:20,767
This is so dumb, okay?

979
00:35:20,769 --> 00:35:22,102
Our kids are gonna hate us

980
00:35:22,104 --> 00:35:23,537
because you're gonna
humiliate them.

981
00:35:23,539 --> 00:35:25,439
I'm not gonna humiliate Julie.

982
00:35:25,441 --> 00:35:27,207
We're best friends.
I'm the cool mom.

983
00:35:27,209 --> 00:35:29,109
Hunter, don't make me sit
on your balls again.

984
00:35:29,111 --> 00:35:31,444
Stop, stop, stop it,
stop, stop.

985
00:35:31,446 --> 00:35:34,180
This is how they're gonna
be remembered in high school.

986
00:35:34,182 --> 00:35:37,149
As the weirdos whose parents
dragged them out of prom

987
00:35:37,151 --> 00:35:38,884
because they were afraid
of their sexuality.

988
00:35:38,886 --> 00:35:40,453
It's not something
that should be feared.

989
00:35:40,455 --> 00:35:42,024
It should be celebrated.

990
00:35:43,792 --> 00:35:46,091
And-and-and we have
to empower these young women.

991
00:35:46,093 --> 00:35:47,861
I mean, what year is it, guys?

992
00:35:47,863 --> 00:35:50,196
- It's 2018.
- (horn honks)

993
00:35:50,198 --> 00:35:51,198
HUNTER:
Jesus Christ.

994
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:53,633
- MITCHELL: Oh, gross.
- Okay, you know what?

995
00:35:53,635 --> 00:35:55,067
That's an unfortunate
coincidence.

996
00:35:55,069 --> 00:35:56,502
Get a fucking room!

997
00:35:56,504 --> 00:35:57,904
♪ ♪

998
00:35:57,906 --> 00:36:01,241
♪ The good life
is the life for me... ♪

999
00:36:01,243 --> 00:36:04,845
- (Sam shouts)
- (laughter)

1000
00:36:04,847 --> 00:36:06,779
Let's take a picture.

1001
00:36:06,781 --> 00:36:08,681
Kayla!
Let's take a picture right now.

1002
00:36:08,683 --> 00:36:09,950
- Okay, cool.
- Right now. Right now.

1003
00:36:09,952 --> 00:36:11,550
Cheese.

1004
00:36:11,553 --> 00:36:14,254
Oh, my God, my mom called me
like 15 times.

1005
00:36:14,256 --> 00:36:15,921
- Ooh. Nope.
- She's crazy.

1006
00:36:15,923 --> 00:36:17,223
- No, that's a no.
- That's kind of funny.

1007
00:36:17,225 --> 00:36:19,792
- Boom. Airplane mode.
- No.

1008
00:36:19,794 --> 00:36:22,162
Yeah. We're flying
the friendly skies now.

1009
00:36:22,164 --> 00:36:23,696
Yeah, till she freaks out.

1010
00:36:23,698 --> 00:36:25,064
Hey, can we please, like,
get out of here?

1011
00:36:25,066 --> 00:36:26,866
No. We can't go right now.

1012
00:36:26,868 --> 00:36:28,767
They haven't even played
me and Austin's song yet.

1013
00:36:28,769 --> 00:36:30,236
How are we gonna get
in the mood?

1014
00:36:30,238 --> 00:36:31,671
I don't know,
light your Walgreens candle.

1015
00:36:31,673 --> 00:36:33,973
That's later.
Don't you want... Look, look.

1016
00:36:33,975 --> 00:36:36,276
Jake Donahue
is just warming up.

1017
00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:38,078
Don't you want to see him
break-dance

1018
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,613
- and probably hurt himself?
- No.

1019
00:36:39,615 --> 00:36:40,781
- It's gonna be so good.
- I don't.

1020
00:36:40,783 --> 00:36:42,848
(laughing): Do you remember
at the Sadie Hawkins Dance

1021
00:36:42,850 --> 00:36:44,216
when he tried to do the worm

1022
00:36:44,218 --> 00:36:46,118
and he fell
and broke his two front teeth?

1023
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,120
- Yeah. He had to go to the hospital.
- I have pictures.

1024
00:36:48,122 --> 00:36:49,955
- It was great, and this is gonna be better.
- Mm...

1025
00:36:49,957 --> 00:36:51,524
- No, no, no. No!
- So we're staying.

1026
00:36:51,526 --> 00:36:53,259
Julie, Julie,
I promise that you're

1027
00:36:53,261 --> 00:36:55,562
gonna dance to your song
with your boyfriend tonight.

1028
00:36:55,564 --> 00:36:57,263
This place is dying, okay?

1029
00:36:57,265 --> 00:36:59,765
- We got to get out of here.
- Okay, fine.

1030
00:36:59,767 --> 00:37:02,569
Okay, cool. Let's go.

1031
00:37:02,571 --> 00:37:04,303
We're going to the lake house.

1032
00:37:04,305 --> 00:37:06,805
I am not sure that this
was worth $85.

1033
00:37:06,807 --> 00:37:08,841
- Where's Chad?
- What?

1034
00:37:08,843 --> 00:37:10,877
Oh, he's probably out
on the dance floor.

1035
00:37:10,879 --> 00:37:13,046
I'm gonna go find him
and meet you guys outside.

1036
00:37:13,048 --> 00:37:15,015
- All right.
- Okay.

1037
00:37:15,017 --> 00:37:17,118
♪ ♪

1038
00:37:29,564 --> 00:37:30,932
The fuck?

1039
00:37:34,336 --> 00:37:36,870
Smirking little piece of shit.

1040
00:37:36,872 --> 00:37:38,837
- Top knot. Top knot.
- Let's get him.

1041
00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:40,806
Yeah, you guys go do that.

1042
00:37:40,808 --> 00:37:42,875
I'm gonna get some punch.

1043
00:37:42,877 --> 00:37:45,678
All right, asshole,
what'd you do with my daughter?

1044
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:47,613
Two of you guys have
the same shitty haircut?

1045
00:37:47,615 --> 00:37:48,881
Hey.

1046
00:37:48,883 --> 00:37:51,216
Look at me.
My hair's too long.

1047
00:37:51,218 --> 00:37:54,754
Hey. You can't go around
assaulting children.

1048
00:37:54,756 --> 00:37:58,191
You have to blend in if you
want some information, okay?

1049
00:37:58,193 --> 00:38:00,660
So just... just be cool.

1050
00:38:00,662 --> 00:38:02,328
God.

1051
00:38:02,330 --> 00:38:04,296
Okay.

1052
00:38:04,298 --> 00:38:05,634
Julie?

1053
00:38:06,801 --> 00:38:07,901
Julie?

1054
00:38:07,903 --> 00:38:10,236
♪ Nothing lasts forever ♪

1055
00:38:10,238 --> 00:38:14,140
♪ But we won't know
till we try... ♪

1056
00:38:14,142 --> 00:38:16,176
Prom night, huh?

1057
00:38:16,178 --> 00:38:18,611
What?

1058
00:38:18,613 --> 00:38:21,948
Just... just special night.

1059
00:38:21,950 --> 00:38:23,316
(cheering and whooping)

1060
00:38:23,318 --> 00:38:27,087
♪ You make me
feel so alive... ♪

1061
00:38:27,089 --> 00:38:28,824
Got to try.

1062
00:38:30,325 --> 00:38:35,227
♪ You make me
feel so alive... ♪

1063
00:38:35,229 --> 00:38:36,765
- Chad?
- Yeah.

1064
00:38:45,774 --> 00:38:49,075
♪ Oh... ♪

1065
00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:50,709
♪ One for the money ♪

1066
00:38:50,711 --> 00:38:53,113
♪ Give me all your money ♪

1067
00:38:53,115 --> 00:38:55,147
♪ Oh... ♪

1068
00:38:55,149 --> 00:38:57,350
This is my moment.

1069
00:38:57,352 --> 00:38:59,252
♪ One for the money ♪

1070
00:38:59,254 --> 00:39:01,354
♪ We gonna make you
lose control ♪

1071
00:39:01,356 --> 00:39:03,292
♪ ♪

1072
00:39:05,861 --> 00:39:08,361
(yelling in pain)

1073
00:39:08,363 --> 00:39:09,899
♪ We gonna make you
lose control... ♪

1074
00:39:13,834 --> 00:39:16,102
You ruined my moment!

1075
00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:18,671
Fuck your moment.

1076
00:39:18,673 --> 00:39:19,939
- What happened back there?
- What happened is that...

1077
00:39:19,941 --> 00:39:22,942
is that my daughter was kissing
Chad even though she hated it.

1078
00:39:22,944 --> 00:39:24,377
And I've been dragged
into this situation

1079
00:39:24,379 --> 00:39:26,745
- by you two fucking idiots.
- Just ignore him.

1080
00:39:26,747 --> 00:39:28,147
- Great idea.
- We're gonna go to Austin's house.

1081
00:39:28,149 --> 00:39:29,783
Julie said that's where
the after-party is,

1082
00:39:29,785 --> 00:39:31,750
- and we'll get 'em there.
- And that sounds like a plan.

1083
00:39:31,752 --> 00:39:33,085
Hey, how dare you ignore me.

1084
00:39:33,087 --> 00:39:34,854
We are in this situation
because you two

1085
00:39:34,856 --> 00:39:36,922
raised a couple of bigots
who have shamed my daughter

1086
00:39:36,924 --> 00:39:38,457
into losing her virginity
to the wrong sex.

1087
00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:40,459
Shame.

1088
00:39:40,461 --> 00:39:43,296
My daughter is not a bigot.

1089
00:39:43,298 --> 00:39:44,464
(scoffs, chuckles)

1090
00:39:44,466 --> 00:39:46,332
We go to all of the marches.

1091
00:39:46,334 --> 00:39:49,268
We went to the Tax Day March,
and nobody goes to that shit.

1092
00:39:49,270 --> 00:39:51,171
- Nobody.
- Ignore him.

1093
00:39:51,173 --> 00:39:52,305
- It's hard.
- Yeah, it is hard.

1094
00:39:52,307 --> 00:39:53,473
'Cause I don't quit.

1095
00:39:53,475 --> 00:39:55,174
And now I have
to go rescue Sam,

1096
00:39:55,176 --> 00:39:57,009
okay, because she is scared
and confused,

1097
00:39:57,011 --> 00:39:59,312
and I know what it's like
to be ostracized by society

1098
00:39:59,314 --> 00:40:00,946
for your sexual preferences.

1099
00:40:00,948 --> 00:40:02,781
Sleeping with women
that aren't your wife

1100
00:40:02,783 --> 00:40:04,451
isn't a sexual preference.

1101
00:40:04,453 --> 00:40:06,785
No, it is. I prefer them.

1102
00:40:06,787 --> 00:40:08,488
- (music blaring from inside)
- MITCHELL: How parents can let

1103
00:40:08,490 --> 00:40:09,888
their kids play music
this loud.

1104
00:40:09,890 --> 00:40:11,758
We all share this planet.

1105
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:13,892
This is how loud I listen
to my music, dawg.

1106
00:40:13,894 --> 00:40:15,495
Probably won't even
be able to hear us.

1107
00:40:15,497 --> 00:40:16,796
(doorbell ringing)

1108
00:40:16,798 --> 00:40:18,864
It's so dark in there.

1109
00:40:18,866 --> 00:40:20,799
You know, they... okay,
they could be in the backyard

1110
00:40:20,801 --> 00:40:21,901
playing two-on-two hoops.
I don't know.

1111
00:40:21,903 --> 00:40:22,901
HUNTER:
Oh!

1112
00:40:22,903 --> 00:40:24,471
Oh, I found a big window.

1113
00:40:24,473 --> 00:40:26,772
Oh, no, no, no,
don't, don't, don't.

1114
00:40:26,774 --> 00:40:29,442
Trust me. Do not look
in that window.

1115
00:40:29,444 --> 00:40:31,076
- What?
- Just look at me. Do not look in this window.

1116
00:40:31,078 --> 00:40:32,438
Do not look
in this fucking window.

1117
00:40:34,048 --> 00:40:37,116
Julie's red dress.

1118
00:40:37,118 --> 00:40:39,287
- Yeah.
- Oh, shit.

1119
00:40:42,057 --> 00:40:45,058
You know, I know... I know this
must be tough for you.

1120
00:40:45,060 --> 00:40:49,027
I mean, if... hell, if that
was Kayla in there, I'd...

1121
00:40:49,029 --> 00:40:51,330
- I'd-I'd kill myself.
- Nope.

1122
00:40:51,332 --> 00:40:53,366
That's the wrong thing
to fucking say right now.

1123
00:40:53,368 --> 00:40:55,502
- Stop them. Stop it.
- I can't...

1124
00:40:55,504 --> 00:40:56,504
(stammers) Wait.

1125
00:40:57,805 --> 00:40:59,839
Hey. It's not Julie.

1126
00:40:59,841 --> 00:41:02,942
- It's not Julie. (laughs)
- MITCHELL: What?

1127
00:41:02,944 --> 00:41:04,910
LISA: Oh, shit.
It's Austin's parents.

1128
00:41:04,912 --> 00:41:06,412
- Good for them.
- LISA: They're really...

1129
00:41:06,414 --> 00:41:07,846
really going at it.

1130
00:41:07,848 --> 00:41:08,848
I always wanted to do this.

1131
00:41:08,850 --> 00:41:10,783
I've always wanted
to watch people have sex.

1132
00:41:10,785 --> 00:41:12,384
Oh, my God,
he's yanking her hair.

1133
00:41:12,386 --> 00:41:14,087
Ow. That looks like it hurts.

1134
00:41:14,089 --> 00:41:16,256
Yeah, we shouldn't
be looking, man. Come on.

1135
00:41:16,258 --> 00:41:18,424
MITCHELL: She runs the risk
of, like, dislocating her hip.

1136
00:41:18,426 --> 00:41:20,259
Hey, Mitchell. You're being
a fucking perv, dude.

1137
00:41:20,261 --> 00:41:21,960
Don't look.

1138
00:41:21,962 --> 00:41:24,062
(grunting and moaning)

1139
00:41:24,064 --> 00:41:26,198
(yelling)

1140
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,000
(screams, gasps)

1141
00:41:28,002 --> 00:41:29,268
What happened?

1142
00:41:29,270 --> 00:41:31,571
We locked eyes,
and then he finished.

1143
00:41:31,573 --> 00:41:34,073
It means his load
is on your soul for eternity.

1144
00:41:34,075 --> 00:41:36,075
- MITCHELL: Holy shit.
- LISA: Oh, shit, he's coming.

1145
00:41:36,077 --> 00:41:37,209
(Hunter stammering)

1146
00:41:37,211 --> 00:41:38,980
I'll pretend I'm a plant.

1147
00:41:42,584 --> 00:41:43,883
Mitchell? What are you doing?

1148
00:41:43,885 --> 00:41:45,819
- What, Lisa?
- Hey, Ron.

1149
00:41:45,821 --> 00:41:47,553
(chuckling): What are you guys
doing out here?

1150
00:41:47,555 --> 00:41:48,888
Hi.

1151
00:41:48,890 --> 00:41:51,156
- LISA: Hey.
- What a nice surprise.

1152
00:41:51,158 --> 00:41:52,424
We thought the kids were here.

1153
00:41:52,426 --> 00:41:53,593
We didn't realize you guys
were here, uh...

1154
00:41:53,595 --> 00:41:55,861
Oh, Cath and I were just having

1155
00:41:55,863 --> 00:41:57,497
a little, uh,
prom night role play.

1156
00:41:57,499 --> 00:42:00,133
- You know, to keep the sex life alive.
- Prom night.

1157
00:42:00,135 --> 00:42:01,267
- That kind of thing.
- Where are the kids?

1158
00:42:01,269 --> 00:42:02,234
Um, do you know
where the kids are?

1159
00:42:02,236 --> 00:42:05,404
The kids are at
Kyler Montero's lake house.

1160
00:42:05,406 --> 00:42:07,540
- How do you know that?
- Because Austin told us.

1161
00:42:07,542 --> 00:42:11,109
Yeah. He's texted me
like 19 times tonight.

1162
00:42:11,111 --> 00:42:13,613
- Ugh. Oh, my God.
- Yeah, we tell each other everything.

1163
00:42:13,615 --> 00:42:16,082
- It's unbelievable.
- I mean, he-he knows about prom night.

1164
00:42:16,084 --> 00:42:17,584
- CATHY: Well, you know.
- I'm sorry, you...

1165
00:42:17,586 --> 00:42:20,252
you tell your son about
your sex games with your wife?

1166
00:42:20,254 --> 00:42:22,154
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
- Wow, that's...

1167
00:42:22,156 --> 00:42:24,022
- Can't do that.
- Yeah, it's weird.

1168
00:42:24,024 --> 00:42:25,591
- It's so... it's-it's weird.
- There's a line.

1169
00:42:25,593 --> 00:42:27,593
- We have a very open family here.
- Yes, we do.

1170
00:42:27,595 --> 00:42:29,328
- We don't hide anything.
- LISA: You know what?

1171
00:42:29,330 --> 00:42:30,562
What is Kyler's address?

1172
00:42:30,564 --> 00:42:32,931
I-I... Okay, listen,
I-I feel like

1173
00:42:32,933 --> 00:42:35,435
I can't betray
Austin's confidence in me,

1174
00:42:35,437 --> 00:42:37,604
and frankly,
if Julie wanted to tell you

1175
00:42:37,606 --> 00:42:40,205
where the house was,
she would have told you.

1176
00:42:40,207 --> 00:42:41,406
- Uh-uh.
- Uh, I got...

1177
00:42:41,408 --> 00:42:42,508
Hold on, hold on.
Buh-buh-buh.

1178
00:42:42,510 --> 00:42:44,109
Give us the address,

1179
00:42:44,111 --> 00:42:45,410
or my giant friend's
gonna tear

1180
00:42:45,412 --> 00:42:46,946
- your husband's dick off.
- Yeah.

1181
00:42:46,948 --> 00:42:48,513
Uh... no, I'm not.

1182
00:42:48,515 --> 00:42:50,250
- No, I'm not. No, no, no.
- Excuse me? - What?

1183
00:42:50,252 --> 00:42:52,317
That's... that's good.

1184
00:42:52,319 --> 00:42:54,453
And, uh, sorry
to interrupt your evening.

1185
00:42:54,455 --> 00:42:57,122
I hope you guys enjoy
the rest of your lovemaking.

1186
00:42:57,124 --> 00:42:58,124
- Ow! Fuck!
- Come on.

1187
00:42:58,126 --> 00:42:59,225
- What was that about?
- What?

1188
00:42:59,227 --> 00:43:00,926
Hey, man, thank you for killing

1189
00:43:00,928 --> 00:43:02,462
- my daughter's hymen.
- I don't think so.

1190
00:43:02,464 --> 00:43:04,529
Kyler Montero's lake house?
Marcie did the bathroom.

1191
00:43:04,531 --> 00:43:07,066
She's gonna know the address,
so let's just go.

1192
00:43:07,068 --> 00:43:08,968
- All right, dope.
- Dope.

1193
00:43:08,970 --> 00:43:10,470
(whooping)

1194
00:43:10,472 --> 00:43:12,471
- Ow, my eyes!
- Yeah!

1195
00:43:12,473 --> 00:43:14,941
RUDY:
Okay, come on in now.

1196
00:43:14,943 --> 00:43:17,209
It's all fun and games
until there's a decapitation.

1197
00:43:17,211 --> 00:43:19,578
I don't need any more
dead girls on my conscience.

1198
00:43:19,580 --> 00:43:21,381
I'm sorry, Rudy.

1199
00:43:21,383 --> 00:43:24,317
We just had to check that off
the old prom bucket list.

1200
00:43:24,319 --> 00:43:26,352
- (laughter)
- Oh, my God, Sam!

1201
00:43:26,354 --> 00:43:28,254
- Come here. Yeah.
- Move, Chad!

1202
00:43:28,256 --> 00:43:30,290
- Chad, you want a drink?
- No.

1203
00:43:30,292 --> 00:43:31,991
What you got there?

1204
00:43:31,993 --> 00:43:34,192
This is a very, very special

1205
00:43:34,194 --> 00:43:36,062
reduced hash oil
of my own invention.

1206
00:43:36,064 --> 00:43:38,330
It has rosemary essence
for blood flow,

1207
00:43:38,332 --> 00:43:39,933
a curcumin extract
from turmeric

1208
00:43:39,935 --> 00:43:41,366
to reduce inflammation,

1209
00:43:41,368 --> 00:43:43,569
and it gets you super baked.

1210
00:43:43,571 --> 00:43:45,638
(chuckles) All right.

1211
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:47,372
Let's do it.
Do I just... I suck?

1212
00:43:47,374 --> 00:43:48,607
Yeah, you press the button,

1213
00:43:48,609 --> 00:43:50,176
then you take, like,
a little puff.

1214
00:43:50,178 --> 00:43:52,377
Or a really, really big one.

1215
00:43:52,379 --> 00:43:54,212
Okay. (chuckles)

1216
00:43:54,214 --> 00:43:56,649
And then you just hold it
for, like, a beat.

1217
00:43:56,651 --> 00:43:58,283
You guys know
that Tanner Dunn's parents

1218
00:43:58,285 --> 00:43:59,651
rented out a whole floor

1219
00:43:59,653 --> 00:44:01,654
of the Park West Hotel
for an after-party?

1220
00:44:01,656 --> 00:44:03,022
- What?
- (Sam chuckles)

1221
00:44:03,024 --> 00:44:05,058
Um... yeah, he, uh...

1222
00:44:05,060 --> 00:44:07,359
I guess they're super loaded
and they're still proud of him

1223
00:44:07,361 --> 00:44:09,495
even though it took him
like six years to graduate.

1224
00:44:09,497 --> 00:44:11,997
I remember him.
He got to, uh, miss school

1225
00:44:11,999 --> 00:44:14,067
- when his kid was born.
- Yeah, yeah, that guy.

1226
00:44:14,069 --> 00:44:16,005
You should definitely
let it go now.

1227
00:44:19,307 --> 00:44:20,640
- Holy shit. (chuckles)
- Oh, yeah.

1228
00:44:20,642 --> 00:44:22,408
I can run a six-minute mile.

1229
00:44:22,410 --> 00:44:24,710
My lung capacity is legit.

1230
00:44:24,712 --> 00:44:26,712
- No!
- One more selfie, and this time,

1231
00:44:26,714 --> 00:44:28,214
let's pose like Kanye.

1232
00:44:28,216 --> 00:44:29,549
- No. Boo!
- Yes.

1233
00:44:29,552 --> 00:44:31,550
- You take too many pictures.
- Uh...

1234
00:44:31,553 --> 00:44:33,652
They don't look like him.

1235
00:44:33,654 --> 00:44:36,555
HUNTER: Ugh, it's just a bunch
of paint samples and swatches.

1236
00:44:36,557 --> 00:44:38,457
(hushed):
Hunter, quiet.

1237
00:44:38,459 --> 00:44:39,759
Why do I have to be quiet?

1238
00:44:39,761 --> 00:44:41,593
Shit would not fly
if Marcie found out.

1239
00:44:41,595 --> 00:44:43,129
Who wears the pants
in this house, dawg?

1240
00:44:43,131 --> 00:44:45,230
- I do.
- Oh!

1241
00:44:45,232 --> 00:44:48,134
(sipping loudly)

1242
00:44:48,136 --> 00:44:49,368
Mmm.

1243
00:44:49,370 --> 00:44:51,303
This is soy creamer?
Are you sure?

1244
00:44:51,305 --> 00:44:53,305
It's pretty freaking rich.

1245
00:44:53,307 --> 00:44:55,375
This is so messed up.
Who are you to get involved

1246
00:44:55,377 --> 00:44:57,343
in our daughter's sex life?

1247
00:44:57,345 --> 00:44:59,511
- Oh, honey, I was just try...
- No, don't "honey" me.

1248
00:44:59,513 --> 00:45:02,180
Did your dad try to stop you
when you lost your virginity?

1249
00:45:02,182 --> 00:45:03,149
That's totally different.

1250
00:45:03,151 --> 00:45:05,017
It is not different.
It's a double standard.

1251
00:45:05,019 --> 00:45:07,419
Oh, when a guy loses his
virginity, it-it's no big deal.

1252
00:45:07,421 --> 00:45:09,122
It's celebrated,
but if a girl does,

1253
00:45:09,124 --> 00:45:11,056
it's some sort of big loss
of innocence?

1254
00:45:11,058 --> 00:45:12,558
- Yes.
- MARCIE: But come on, you guys.

1255
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:13,759
It's the same damn thing.

1256
00:45:13,761 --> 00:45:15,660
Oh, Marcie!

1257
00:45:15,662 --> 00:45:17,629
Stop talking.

1258
00:45:17,631 --> 00:45:20,767
- Just give us the address.
- Just give us the address.

1259
00:45:20,769 --> 00:45:24,102
Honestly, Lisa, I can't believe
you're on their side.

1260
00:45:24,104 --> 00:45:27,105
Side? This is not
some philosophical debate.

1261
00:45:27,107 --> 00:45:28,774
We're trying to stop
our daughters

1262
00:45:28,776 --> 00:45:31,777
from some kind of sex pact
that they've planned

1263
00:45:31,779 --> 00:45:33,812
and not thought through
all the way.

1264
00:45:33,814 --> 00:45:34,747
That is such bullshit.

1265
00:45:34,749 --> 00:45:37,049
How do you expect society
to treat women

1266
00:45:37,051 --> 00:45:39,584
as if they're equal
when their own parents won't?

1267
00:45:39,586 --> 00:45:41,453
I don't know about that.

1268
00:45:41,455 --> 00:45:43,221
I'll deal with society
tomorrow.

1269
00:45:43,223 --> 00:45:45,124
Right now I'm thinking
about my daughter.

1270
00:45:45,126 --> 00:45:46,192
Well, that is...
that's convenient.

1271
00:45:46,194 --> 00:45:47,392
Yeah. You know what?

1272
00:45:47,394 --> 00:45:49,062
Go ahead and be part
of the group

1273
00:45:49,064 --> 00:45:50,395
that perceives women as little

1274
00:45:50,397 --> 00:45:52,665
damsels in distress
that need saving.

1275
00:45:52,667 --> 00:45:54,600
Who cares about us
not getting paid as much

1276
00:45:54,602 --> 00:45:56,768
or not having control
of our own bodies?

1277
00:45:56,770 --> 00:45:58,437
Can you please not talk to me

1278
00:45:58,439 --> 00:46:00,506
like I'm someone
who bombs abortion clinics?

1279
00:46:00,508 --> 00:46:01,506
I think
we're a little off topic.

1280
00:46:01,508 --> 00:46:02,442
Just... we need the address.

1281
00:46:02,444 --> 00:46:05,143
I just can't believe
that you think Julie

1282
00:46:05,145 --> 00:46:07,145
shouldn't be free
to explore her sexuality

1283
00:46:07,147 --> 00:46:09,147
in the same way that boys are.

1284
00:46:09,149 --> 00:46:12,451
Girls and boys
are very different.

1285
00:46:12,453 --> 00:46:15,087
Guys will take
whatever's in front of them.

1286
00:46:15,089 --> 00:46:17,323
We have these feelings,
and then...

1287
00:46:17,325 --> 00:46:20,660
your parents won't let you
see the man.

1288
00:46:20,662 --> 00:46:23,763
(crying): And then he just
writes a lot of letters,

1289
00:46:23,765 --> 00:46:25,330
but you don't get them

1290
00:46:25,332 --> 00:46:27,366
because your mom
doesn't give them to you,

1291
00:46:27,368 --> 00:46:29,768
and then it starts raining
really hard

1292
00:46:29,770 --> 00:46:32,138
'cause he built a house
for you,

1293
00:46:32,140 --> 00:46:36,341
and... and then it's...

1294
00:46:36,343 --> 00:46:38,544
- Mitchell, did you get the address?
- Yep.

1295
00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:39,779
- What?
- I'm really sorry. I'll call you tomorrow.

1296
00:46:39,781 --> 00:46:41,714
- I'm just really stressed out.
- It was so good to see you.

1297
00:46:41,716 --> 00:46:43,515
Was that <i>The Notebook?</i>

1298
00:46:43,517 --> 00:46:46,352
Fucking fuck off, Hunter.
Goddamn it! Mitchell!

1299
00:46:46,354 --> 00:46:47,687
I love you. I'm doing this
for our daughter.

1300
00:46:47,689 --> 00:46:49,288
- I'll be home late.
- Fucking shit!

1301
00:46:49,290 --> 00:46:51,890
♪ See, I'm gonna get it
'cause I play the game... ♪

1302
00:46:51,892 --> 00:46:53,593
To the loss of our innocence.

1303
00:46:53,595 --> 00:46:55,696
(whooping)

1304
00:46:57,198 --> 00:46:58,631
(cup clattering on floor)

1305
00:46:58,633 --> 00:47:00,366
- Oh!
- (Sam grunting)

1306
00:47:00,368 --> 00:47:01,567
- Come on.
- Ooh!

1307
00:47:01,569 --> 00:47:02,868
You guys.

1308
00:47:02,870 --> 00:47:04,370
This is the best night.

1309
00:47:04,372 --> 00:47:07,506
I am so drunk, super high,

1310
00:47:07,508 --> 00:47:09,741
and Connor has a little
something-something

1311
00:47:09,743 --> 00:47:12,477
that I feel I need
to go check out.

1312
00:47:12,479 --> 00:47:14,846
All right.
It's fuck o'clock.

1313
00:47:14,848 --> 00:47:16,617
- JULIE: No way. You, too?
- SAM: Yep.

1314
00:47:18,419 --> 00:47:20,652
- These are macarons.
- Ooh.

1315
00:47:20,654 --> 00:47:22,622
With a very special
concoction of mine

1316
00:47:22,624 --> 00:47:24,524
that I call Wavy Davy.

1317
00:47:24,526 --> 00:47:27,259
So it's DMT that I get
from the Dark Web.

1318
00:47:27,261 --> 00:47:29,227
Uh, and then there's
a little tiny bit of Xanax

1319
00:47:29,229 --> 00:47:31,230
to just kind of take
the edge off, you know.

1320
00:47:31,232 --> 00:47:32,230
It's pretty tight.

1321
00:47:32,232 --> 00:47:33,832
Mm, sounds pretty tight.

1322
00:47:33,834 --> 00:47:35,935
And then I bake it into
a white chocolate macaron,

1323
00:47:35,937 --> 00:47:37,569
and it has, like,
a raspberry filling

1324
00:47:37,571 --> 00:47:38,837
that's both, uh,
light and fluffy

1325
00:47:38,839 --> 00:47:41,274
but also very flavorful
and satisfying.

1326
00:47:41,276 --> 00:47:42,841
Are you ready?

1327
00:47:42,843 --> 00:47:45,511
- Uh, yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah, let's do it.

1328
00:47:45,513 --> 00:47:46,645
(sighs) Okay.

1329
00:47:46,647 --> 00:47:48,182
- Mmm.
- Let's go.

1330
00:47:49,417 --> 00:47:50,616
Hmm.

1331
00:47:50,618 --> 00:47:52,852
- (Connor chuckles)
- It's yum.

1332
00:47:52,854 --> 00:47:54,323
KAYLA:
Hmm.

1333
00:47:58,593 --> 00:48:00,426
Okay, so what do we do?
We just walk in and-and flick

1334
00:48:00,428 --> 00:48:02,194
- the lights on and off until the kids come?
- Shh.

1335
00:48:02,196 --> 00:48:03,729
Just act cool and young,
and maybe we'll just slip in.

1336
00:48:03,731 --> 00:48:05,730
Mitchell, untuck your shirt.

1337
00:48:05,732 --> 00:48:07,399
No, it's not
that kind of shirt.

1338
00:48:07,401 --> 00:48:08,634
- It looks stupid untucked.
- Untuck your shirt.

1339
00:48:08,636 --> 00:48:09,834
You look like a youth minister.

1340
00:48:09,836 --> 00:48:10,935
HUNTER:
Untuck your fucking shirt, man.

1341
00:48:10,937 --> 00:48:12,605
- We're trying to look cool.
- MITCHELL: All right.

1342
00:48:12,607 --> 00:48:13,906
(groans) Whoa, whoa.

1343
00:48:13,908 --> 00:48:15,473
Sorry, bro. Sorry, guys.

1344
00:48:15,475 --> 00:48:17,310
Sorry. My friend's wasted.

1345
00:48:17,312 --> 00:48:19,245
- Don't.
- KYLER: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1346
00:48:19,247 --> 00:48:21,513
Hey, hey. No... no adults
are getting into my house.

1347
00:48:21,515 --> 00:48:23,683
Not on prom night.
Okay, not on prom.

1348
00:48:23,685 --> 00:48:25,250
We were just down the street

1349
00:48:25,252 --> 00:48:27,419
at, um, another party,
and then we just decided

1350
00:48:27,421 --> 00:48:29,455
to come up here
and hang with you guys.

1351
00:48:29,457 --> 00:48:31,457
Um, no parents here, right?

1352
00:48:31,459 --> 00:48:32,658
Oh, thank God.

1353
00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:33,725
No, not except
for you guys. No.

1354
00:48:33,727 --> 00:48:35,227
We're not...

1355
00:48:35,229 --> 00:48:37,230
- (chuckles) Yeah, no.
- We don't...

1356
00:48:37,232 --> 00:48:38,230
Okay, so you're cops.

1357
00:48:38,232 --> 00:48:40,533
(laughter)

1358
00:48:40,535 --> 00:48:43,636
I got two DUIs last year.
How could I be a cop?

1359
00:48:43,638 --> 00:48:44,870
MITCHELL (laughing):
The police?

1360
00:48:44,872 --> 00:48:46,605
Look at my untucked shirt.

1361
00:48:46,607 --> 00:48:48,473
You're literally the cop-iest
motherfucker I've ever seen.

1362
00:48:48,475 --> 00:48:51,546
You look like you got your hair
cut in the back of a squad car.

1363
00:48:52,879 --> 00:48:55,247
This is a regular
men's haircut.

1364
00:48:55,249 --> 00:48:56,716
Okay, this is ridiculous.

1365
00:48:56,718 --> 00:48:58,317
All right, you're minors,
we're minors.

1366
00:48:58,319 --> 00:49:00,285
You're like 45 years old.

1367
00:49:00,287 --> 00:49:01,953
Fuck you.
I was born in '77.

1368
00:49:01,955 --> 00:49:03,788
'87. '94.

1369
00:49:03,790 --> 00:49:06,024
We're gonna drink
with you guys.

1370
00:49:06,026 --> 00:49:07,792
Would cops drink
with underage kids?

1371
00:49:07,794 --> 00:49:09,395
- MITCHELL: No.
- No.

1372
00:49:09,397 --> 00:49:11,363
Okay. What about a little
chugging contest?

1373
00:49:11,365 --> 00:49:12,732
Um...

1374
00:49:12,734 --> 00:49:14,366
Yeah.

1375
00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:15,370
Bring it.

1376
00:49:16,504 --> 00:49:17,669
Okay, wait.

1377
00:49:17,671 --> 00:49:18,937
I got to get the room ready.

1378
00:49:18,939 --> 00:49:20,841
(chuckles)

1379
00:49:22,944 --> 00:49:25,944
Oh, wow.

1380
00:49:25,946 --> 00:49:27,413
You're really going for it,
aren't you?

1381
00:49:27,415 --> 00:49:28,913
I saw this
in the romantic comedy,

1382
00:49:28,915 --> 00:49:30,816
<i>American Beauty.</i>
So good.

1383
00:49:30,818 --> 00:49:33,585
You watch the whole thing?

1384
00:49:33,587 --> 00:49:34,587
(chuckles)

1385
00:49:37,792 --> 00:49:39,825
You know what this candle
does to me.

1386
00:49:39,827 --> 00:49:41,060
Is that the one
that gives you hives?

1387
00:49:41,062 --> 00:49:42,798
- No, it's the good one.
- Oh, nice.

1388
00:49:46,366 --> 00:49:48,403
You look so hot right now.

1389
00:49:58,446 --> 00:50:00,680
- Where are my chuggers at? You ready?
- Yeah!

1390
00:50:00,682 --> 00:50:02,515
- Oh, right here. Let's go.
- Whoot, whoot!

1391
00:50:02,517 --> 00:50:04,015
- (sighs)
- All right.

1392
00:50:04,017 --> 00:50:06,084
- Cool.
- Drop 'em.

1393
00:50:06,086 --> 00:50:07,255
KYLER:
Let's do it.

1394
00:50:09,390 --> 00:50:10,422
Wait, what?

1395
00:50:10,424 --> 00:50:11,556
(chuckling):
Guys?

1396
00:50:11,558 --> 00:50:12,758
We're just chugging, right?

1397
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:13,859
We're butt-chugging.

1398
00:50:13,861 --> 00:50:15,328
Yeah, you put the tube
up your butt,

1399
00:50:15,330 --> 00:50:16,629
and you funnel the beer in.

1400
00:50:16,631 --> 00:50:18,531
Fucks you up way more, man.
Trust me.

1401
00:50:18,533 --> 00:50:20,499
- Guys, butt-chugging?
- You got this. You got it.

1402
00:50:20,501 --> 00:50:21,834
No, I'm tagging out.
You're in.

1403
00:50:21,836 --> 00:50:23,401
- What? Why me?
- You've had a baby.

1404
00:50:23,403 --> 00:50:24,602
Everything's looser down there.

1405
00:50:24,604 --> 00:50:26,839
I didn't have a baby
out of my butt.

1406
00:50:26,841 --> 00:50:28,808
- Even I know that.
- Mitchell.

1407
00:50:28,810 --> 00:50:31,810
Okay, this isn't
a common occurrence with me,

1408
00:50:31,812 --> 00:50:34,779
but I have had things
up there before.

1409
00:50:34,781 --> 00:50:36,915
- Hmm?
- It's just all about breathing.

1410
00:50:36,917 --> 00:50:39,685
So just breathe through it
and accept it in.

1411
00:50:39,687 --> 00:50:41,821
I can't do it. I can't do it.

1412
00:50:41,823 --> 00:50:44,089
Hey! She's up there right now
with that dick-bag Connor

1413
00:50:44,091 --> 00:50:45,725
with his man bun
and that stupid smirk.

1414
00:50:45,727 --> 00:50:46,962
Think about this.

1415
00:50:48,696 --> 00:50:50,363
W-Wait. Connor?

1416
00:50:50,365 --> 00:50:52,665
You know... you know
Connor Aldrich, "The Chef"?

1417
00:50:52,667 --> 00:50:54,734
Why do they call him
"The Chef"?

1418
00:50:54,736 --> 00:50:56,935
Uh, maybe a big fan
of <i>South Park?</i>

1419
00:50:56,937 --> 00:50:58,437
"Hello, children."

1420
00:50:58,439 --> 00:51:00,573
No, no.
He cooks drugs into everything.

1421
00:51:00,575 --> 00:51:02,441
Everything.
Uh, one time he made me

1422
00:51:02,443 --> 00:51:04,776
this, like,
acid financier cake. Oh!

1423
00:51:04,778 --> 00:51:07,379
That shit was to die for, man.

1424
00:51:07,381 --> 00:51:09,381
(chuckling): Like, literally,
I almost fucking died.

1425
00:51:09,383 --> 00:51:11,149
Yeah, dude, if your daughter
had anything like that cake,

1426
00:51:11,151 --> 00:51:12,872
she might not remember
who you are tomorrow.

1427
00:51:14,087 --> 00:51:16,455
Give me the fucking tube.

1428
00:51:16,457 --> 00:51:18,390
♪ Whoa, whoa, honey, now... ♪

1429
00:51:18,392 --> 00:51:19,692
Let's bone.

1430
00:51:19,694 --> 00:51:20,993
Wait, what? Oh.

1431
00:51:20,995 --> 00:51:23,632
Are you sure that this
is how you want to do it?

1432
00:51:25,098 --> 00:51:26,799
Yes, Chad.

1433
00:51:26,801 --> 00:51:28,901
This is always
how I've imagined it.

1434
00:51:28,903 --> 00:51:31,470
Oh, you know, I'd rather leave
my shirt on, if that's sexier.

1435
00:51:31,472 --> 00:51:34,406
(chuckles)
I need another drink.

1436
00:51:34,408 --> 00:51:35,443
Wait, wait, uh...

1437
00:51:37,611 --> 00:51:39,879
Can you lube it up
with something first?

1438
00:51:39,881 --> 00:51:41,446
- Yeah, I'll just spit on it.
- No!

1439
00:51:41,448 --> 00:51:43,649
Why? Because I'm a man?
Get over yourself.

1440
00:51:43,651 --> 00:51:45,484
No, 'cause you're
fucking gross,

1441
00:51:45,486 --> 00:51:46,951
and your fucking
saliva's gross.

1442
00:51:46,953 --> 00:51:48,620
I have... I have lip gloss.
I have lip gloss.

1443
00:51:48,622 --> 00:51:50,488
- Got a lip gloss. We got a lip gloss.
- Okay, fine. Shit.

1444
00:51:50,490 --> 00:51:51,589
(hushed):
I don't have lip gloss.

1445
00:51:51,591 --> 00:51:53,192
- All right, guys, let's get those tubes in.
- (spits)

1446
00:51:53,194 --> 00:51:54,727
All right,
I got the lip gloss on there.

1447
00:51:54,729 --> 00:51:55,828
- Okay.
- Okay, okay.

1448
00:51:55,830 --> 00:51:57,529
- All right.
- Okay, ready?

1449
00:51:57,531 --> 00:51:59,165
Ow, ow, ow, ow!

1450
00:51:59,167 --> 00:52:00,832
- It's not in yet.
- Okay. - HUNTER: Chill.

1451
00:52:00,834 --> 00:52:02,535
LISA: So it's just gonna be
on the count of three.

1452
00:52:02,537 --> 00:52:04,669
HUNTER: You got this, dawg.
This is for your kid.

1453
00:52:04,671 --> 00:52:06,439
- On three. Okay. All right. Yeah.
- On three.

1454
00:52:06,441 --> 00:52:07,672
- Okay, one...
- One...

1455
00:52:07,674 --> 00:52:10,810
- Oh!
- HUNTER: Are you okay?

1456
00:52:10,812 --> 00:52:12,710
- Okay, get your 40s.
- They got a lager and an IPA.

1457
00:52:12,712 --> 00:52:14,013
- (Mitchell groans)
- Does it... Doesn't-doesn't...

1458
00:52:14,015 --> 00:52:15,547
- It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
- LISA: Okay.

1459
00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:16,848
- I don't know about this.
- No, no, no, no.

1460
00:52:16,850 --> 00:52:18,149
- It's too late. It's already in.
- Here you go.

1461
00:52:18,151 --> 00:52:19,517
It's in you.
It's part of you now.

1462
00:52:19,519 --> 00:52:21,053
- Ready? Set...
- Yeah.

1463
00:52:21,055 --> 00:52:23,922
Chug...!

1464
00:52:23,924 --> 00:52:26,524
ALL (chanting): Butt chug!
Butt chug! Butt chug!

1465
00:52:26,526 --> 00:52:27,892
- Oh, wait.
- (chanting continues)

1466
00:52:27,894 --> 00:52:29,462
- Hey, hey.
- LISA: Loosen up.

1467
00:52:29,464 --> 00:52:31,596
- It's not working, dude.
- I can't.

1468
00:52:31,598 --> 00:52:32,864
- You can hold my hand.
- Okay.

1469
00:52:32,866 --> 00:52:34,066
Butt chug! Butt chug!

1470
00:52:34,068 --> 00:52:35,801
- Ow!
- You're hurting her.

1471
00:52:35,803 --> 00:52:37,069
- LISA: That really hurt!
- I'm sorry!

1472
00:52:37,071 --> 00:52:38,636
HUNTER:
Hey, man, listen.

1473
00:52:38,638 --> 00:52:40,906
Channel that energy
into your butthole.

1474
00:52:40,908 --> 00:52:41,973
- Breathe.
- This changes everything I know.

1475
00:52:41,975 --> 00:52:44,076
HUNTER: Dude, if your daughter
could see you now,

1476
00:52:44,078 --> 00:52:45,447
she'd be so proud of you.

1477
00:52:46,814 --> 00:52:49,047
Whoa.

1478
00:52:49,049 --> 00:52:52,817
I am... I am tripping so hard.

1479
00:52:52,819 --> 00:52:54,587
It's not working.
It's not working, dude.

1480
00:52:54,589 --> 00:52:56,654
- Oh, it's terrible. Oh.
- MITCHELL: It is.

1481
00:52:56,656 --> 00:52:57,857
CROWD:
Butt chug! Butt chug!

1482
00:52:57,859 --> 00:52:59,792
- Open up.
- No, I'm sorry.

1483
00:52:59,794 --> 00:53:02,127
- I-I can't do it, man.
- Focus! For your daughter.

1484
00:53:02,129 --> 00:53:03,761
Fuck, Mitch. Focus.

1485
00:53:03,763 --> 00:53:05,096
- You gotta breathe.
- You gotta open up, dude.

1486
00:53:05,098 --> 00:53:07,566
- Relax.
- I'm relaxed. I'm dilated.

1487
00:53:07,568 --> 00:53:10,035
I'm staring at your asshole.
You're not dilated.

1488
00:53:10,037 --> 00:53:13,605
LISA: Mitchell, you're gonna
lose to this punk bitch?

1489
00:53:13,607 --> 00:53:15,741
Breathe. Take it in.

1490
00:53:15,743 --> 00:53:17,009
CROWD:
Butt chug!

1491
00:53:17,011 --> 00:53:18,710
(gurgling)

1492
00:53:18,712 --> 00:53:20,044
LISA:
There we go.

1493
00:53:20,046 --> 00:53:21,881
- Okay, good.
- Oh! Oh, it's working!

1494
00:53:21,883 --> 00:53:25,084
- It's working! It's working!
- Holy shit! Holy shit!

1495
00:53:25,086 --> 00:53:26,785
We're almost halfway done.

1496
00:53:26,787 --> 00:53:29,087
- (siren whooping)
- Po's! Fucking run!

1497
00:53:29,089 --> 00:53:30,589
- Cops? (grunts)
- (passes gas)

1498
00:53:30,591 --> 00:53:32,661
- Oh, no!
- (frantic chatter)

1499
00:53:34,629 --> 00:53:37,062
Ass beer! Oh, oh!

1500
00:53:37,064 --> 00:53:38,663
Lisa, the beer went
into my mouth!

1501
00:53:38,665 --> 00:53:40,265
I have to go to the hospital!

1502
00:53:40,267 --> 00:53:42,868
- (knocking at door)
- Hurry up! Get out of here!

1503
00:53:42,870 --> 00:53:44,136
BOTH:
Shit.

1504
00:53:44,138 --> 00:53:46,038
We got to go.

1505
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:48,239
I got ass beer in my mouth.
I should go to the hospital.

1506
00:53:48,241 --> 00:53:50,209
- Oh, shit. The fucking cops?
- (siren whooping)

1507
00:53:50,211 --> 00:53:51,944
- Fuck.
- The fucking cops are here?

1508
00:53:51,946 --> 00:53:53,846
- Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
- I can't get the tube out.

1509
00:53:53,848 --> 00:53:55,180
- Pull the tube out.
- Lis, pull it out.

1510
00:53:55,182 --> 00:53:57,116
- No. I put it in.
- I had to spit on it!

1511
00:53:57,118 --> 00:53:59,084
- What? You spit on it?
- No, it was my lip gloss.

1512
00:53:59,086 --> 00:54:00,785
- It was lip gloss.
- Pull it out!

1513
00:54:00,787 --> 00:54:02,321
Hey, man, be gentle.
Be fucking gentle, all right?

1514
00:54:02,323 --> 00:54:03,955
I'm gonna be gentle,
all right? Ready?

1515
00:54:03,957 --> 00:54:05,156
- All right, on three.
- On three.

1516
00:54:05,158 --> 00:54:06,625
- One.
- Ow!

1517
00:54:06,627 --> 00:54:09,928
(frantic chatter and yelling)

1518
00:54:09,930 --> 00:54:11,564
- Come on.
- Whoo!

1519
00:54:11,566 --> 00:54:14,098
Hey, guys. Guys.

1520
00:54:14,100 --> 00:54:15,301
Wait, wait.

1521
00:54:15,303 --> 00:54:16,834
Sam?

1522
00:54:16,836 --> 00:54:18,703
Sam, Sam! We're over here.

1523
00:54:18,705 --> 00:54:20,906
- No! No, I... No.
- She's...

1524
00:54:20,908 --> 00:54:22,640
- The night is over.
- No.

1525
00:54:22,642 --> 00:54:24,910
It's over. It's done.

1526
00:54:24,912 --> 00:54:26,879
The night is not over.

1527
00:54:26,881 --> 00:54:28,881
The night has just begun.

1528
00:54:28,883 --> 00:54:30,819
♪ ♪

1529
00:54:32,285 --> 00:54:34,986
Jesus, Chad, use your legs.

1530
00:54:34,988 --> 00:54:36,654
I mean, I pretty much
carried her,

1531
00:54:36,656 --> 00:54:37,825
like, the whole way there.

1532
00:54:43,798 --> 00:54:45,863
(grunting)

1533
00:54:45,865 --> 00:54:48,736
Hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle!

1534
00:54:49,836 --> 00:54:51,002
CHAD:
Come on, Sam.

1535
00:54:51,004 --> 00:54:52,370
- Come with us.
- I can't.

1536
00:54:52,372 --> 00:54:54,138
My car is here.
But all my friends

1537
00:54:54,140 --> 00:54:56,174
are going to the hotel party.

1538
00:54:56,176 --> 00:54:57,611
Maybe I'll see you later.

1539
00:55:02,616 --> 00:55:04,183
RUDY: Get in the car!
Go, go, go, girl!

1540
00:55:04,185 --> 00:55:05,850
- Sam! Seriously, hurry up!
- You'll see her later.

1541
00:55:05,852 --> 00:55:07,285
- You'll see her later.
- What are you doing?

1542
00:55:07,287 --> 00:55:09,788
Ooh, this night is not over,
I swear to Christ!

1543
00:55:09,790 --> 00:55:11,323
Dukes of Hazzard!

1544
00:55:11,325 --> 00:55:12,957
(grunts)

1545
00:55:12,959 --> 00:55:14,959
Racist-ass show anyway.

1546
00:55:14,961 --> 00:55:17,196
- I got the spins, man.
- We got to find our daughter, dawg.

1547
00:55:17,198 --> 00:55:18,930
- I'm gonna sit down for a second.
- Rudy!

1548
00:55:18,932 --> 00:55:21,667
- It's Rudy. Rudy.
- Rudy, Rudy, wait, wait!

1549
00:55:21,669 --> 00:55:23,067
There he goes, there he goes!
Hit the clicker!

1550
00:55:23,069 --> 00:55:24,837
- Open the doors!
- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

1551
00:55:24,839 --> 00:55:26,772
- Okay, sit.
- I got mine.

1552
00:55:26,774 --> 00:55:28,777
HUNTER: <i>Seat belts!
You'll get a big ticket.</i>

1553
00:55:31,946 --> 00:55:33,946
- That's them right there.
- They're getting away.

1554
00:55:33,948 --> 00:55:35,214
- You gotta go faster. Hey.
- Okay.

1555
00:55:35,216 --> 00:55:37,049
(slurring):
Hey, you gotta be at 110%.

1556
00:55:37,051 --> 00:55:38,783
- Okay.
- You got to be in it to win it!

1557
00:55:38,785 --> 00:55:40,752
How do you get more competitive
when you're drunk?

1558
00:55:40,754 --> 00:55:42,921
Hey, man. I'm more of a winner
when I'm drunk, all right?

1559
00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:45,256
- Okay, okay. (groans)
- And the question I have

1560
00:55:45,258 --> 00:55:47,125
for you, Lis:
Are you a winner?

1561
00:55:47,127 --> 00:55:48,993
Are you in it to win it?

1562
00:55:48,995 --> 00:55:51,062
- Winning is my bitch!
- All right.

1563
00:55:51,064 --> 00:55:52,330
- Strong.
- Knock, knock!

1564
00:55:52,332 --> 00:55:54,232
- Who's there?
- Me winning.

1565
00:55:54,234 --> 00:55:55,366
(laughs)

1566
00:55:55,368 --> 00:55:57,368
(chuckling)

1567
00:55:57,370 --> 00:55:58,971
It's not...

1568
00:55:58,973 --> 00:56:00,772
It's not that good.

1569
00:56:00,774 --> 00:56:02,174
(Mitchell and Lisa laughing)

1570
00:56:02,176 --> 00:56:04,176
I don't... Ow, ow!

1571
00:56:04,178 --> 00:56:05,843
- (laughing): Lisa winning!
- It's not that good.

1572
00:56:05,845 --> 00:56:07,812
Ow! Fuck!
All right, it's good.

1573
00:56:07,814 --> 00:56:09,348
It's fine. I like it.

1574
00:56:09,350 --> 00:56:10,482
<i>Hey, you're losing him.
Let's go.</i>

1575
00:56:10,484 --> 00:56:13,185
(Mozart's "The Marriage
of Figaro: Overture" playing)

1576
00:56:13,187 --> 00:56:15,453
(grunts) Not on my watch.

1577
00:56:15,455 --> 00:56:17,890
(music volume increases)

1578
00:56:17,892 --> 00:56:20,158
- (tires squeal)
- Oh, hey! - Whoa! - Ow!

1579
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:21,694
Y'all think you gonna outrun

1580
00:56:21,696 --> 00:56:23,027
Rudy "The Main
Motherfucking Man" Glover?

1581
00:56:23,029 --> 00:56:24,163
Hell no.

1582
00:56:24,165 --> 00:56:25,997
- Are you all right?
- No!

1583
00:56:25,999 --> 00:56:27,165
- Come on.
- (panting)

1584
00:56:27,167 --> 00:56:28,966
CONNOR:
You okay?

1585
00:56:28,968 --> 00:56:31,102
Hey, guys.

1586
00:56:31,104 --> 00:56:32,971
Hey, I don't...

1587
00:56:32,973 --> 00:56:34,308
I don't feel so...

1588
00:56:35,876 --> 00:56:38,176
- Oh, my God!
- (all shouting)

1589
00:56:38,178 --> 00:56:39,210
Oh, my God!

1590
00:56:39,212 --> 00:56:40,381
(screaming)

1591
00:56:44,385 --> 00:56:46,484
HUNTER: <i>All right,
here's what we're gonna do.</i>

1592
00:56:46,486 --> 00:56:47,652
Lisa, I have seen every single

1593
00:56:47,654 --> 00:56:49,855
- <i>Fast and the Furious</i> movie, okay?
- Mm-hmm.

1594
00:56:49,857 --> 00:56:51,756
All of them, dozens of times.
Have you seen any of them?

1595
00:56:51,758 --> 00:56:53,859
I saw the Tokyo one,
and I saw the one

1596
00:56:53,861 --> 00:56:55,127
where The Rock
punches the torpedo.

1597
00:56:55,129 --> 00:56:56,928
Those are the best two to see.

1598
00:56:56,930 --> 00:57:00,165
Okay, in times like this,
I ask myself one question:

1599
00:57:00,167 --> 00:57:02,734
"WWVDD?"
You know what that means?

1600
00:57:02,736 --> 00:57:03,968
"What would Vin Diesel do?"

1601
00:57:03,970 --> 00:57:05,504
Holy shit!

1602
00:57:05,506 --> 00:57:07,347
No one's ever fucking
gotten that before. Okay.

1603
00:57:09,743 --> 00:57:11,276
(screaming)

1604
00:57:11,278 --> 00:57:12,444
- (gasps)
- (muffled scream)

1605
00:57:12,446 --> 00:57:14,049
Oh, man, it smells like...

1606
00:57:15,281 --> 00:57:16,415
HUNTER:
What we're gonna do...

1607
00:57:16,417 --> 00:57:17,482
we're gonna kiss the bumper.

1608
00:57:17,484 --> 00:57:18,350
- You give it a little tap.
- Okay.

1609
00:57:18,352 --> 00:57:19,984
And then they're gonna
spin and stop,

1610
00:57:19,986 --> 00:57:21,754
and we're gonna spin
and stop the other way.

1611
00:57:21,756 --> 00:57:23,355
- Okay.
- And we're gonna look at each other,

1612
00:57:23,357 --> 00:57:25,290
and we're gonna go,
"It's all about the family."

1613
00:57:25,292 --> 00:57:27,526
Wait, I don't feel comfortable
running the kids off the road.

1614
00:57:27,528 --> 00:57:30,129
This slow and un-furious
attitude is not helping us.

1615
00:57:30,131 --> 00:57:31,430
You have to believe!

1616
00:57:31,432 --> 00:57:32,930
Okay, I'm gonna kiss it.

1617
00:57:32,932 --> 00:57:34,301
HUNTER:
Here we go!

1618
00:57:35,903 --> 00:57:37,368
- (Lisa gasps)
- MITCHELL: What's that?

1619
00:57:37,370 --> 00:57:39,303
- Did I do it?
- No, you didn't even kiss it.

1620
00:57:39,305 --> 00:57:40,439
- You gotta kiss it.
- Shit. Okay.

1621
00:57:40,441 --> 00:57:42,841
HUNTER (imitating Vin Diesel):
Kiss it for the family.

1622
00:57:42,843 --> 00:57:44,846
- Is that Sam?
- Is that Sam?

1623
00:57:46,814 --> 00:57:48,881
- MITCHELL: Oh! Oh, God!
- LISA: She barfed on us!

1624
00:57:48,883 --> 00:57:50,448
HUNTER:
<i>Oh, my God!</i>

1625
00:57:50,450 --> 00:57:52,319
(all screaming)

1626
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:01,426
(metallic creaking)

1627
00:58:01,428 --> 00:58:03,364
(high-pitched):
Fuck.

1628
00:58:06,267 --> 00:58:07,966
(whispering):
Okay.

1629
00:58:07,968 --> 00:58:09,868
Are we in Heaven?

1630
00:58:09,870 --> 00:58:11,970
Okay. Listen, I know
how to do this.

1631
00:58:11,972 --> 00:58:14,205
Everyone lean backwards.

1632
00:58:14,207 --> 00:58:16,207
If we all lean backwards
on three,

1633
00:58:16,209 --> 00:58:17,576
the car will roll back.

1634
00:58:17,578 --> 00:58:18,877
- Ready?
- Okay.

1635
00:58:18,879 --> 00:58:20,245
One...

1636
00:58:20,247 --> 00:58:22,080
(shuddering):
two... three.

1637
00:58:22,082 --> 00:58:23,247
(creaking)

1638
00:58:23,249 --> 00:58:26,250
- Oh, fuck...!
- No!

1639
00:58:26,252 --> 00:58:27,518
- Oh!
- Oh, no!

1640
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:29,457
(clunking)

1641
00:58:32,827 --> 00:58:36,160
Well, that's the last
of the ass beer.

1642
00:58:36,162 --> 00:58:38,163
- Jesus! That's it. Are you okay?
- (groaning)

1643
00:58:38,165 --> 00:58:41,332
Are you bleeding? You might
have internal blood injuries.

1644
00:58:41,334 --> 00:58:43,535
- I'm all right, I'm all right.
- Here's the problem.

1645
00:58:43,537 --> 00:58:46,038
The <i>Fast and the Furious</i>
movies are not realistic.

1646
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:47,238
Where are we?

1647
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:48,540
Shit!

1648
00:58:48,542 --> 00:58:49,908
HUNTER:
Fuck.

1649
00:58:49,910 --> 00:58:52,109
(grunting)

1650
00:58:52,111 --> 00:58:53,511
What are you doing?

1651
00:58:53,513 --> 00:58:55,314
I heard that in times
of crisis, parents have

1652
00:58:55,316 --> 00:58:56,881
- superhuman strength.
- MITCHELL: No offense... there's

1653
00:58:56,883 --> 00:58:58,584
no scientific way you're gonna
flip that car over.

1654
00:58:58,586 --> 00:59:00,585
- I couldn't even do that.
- I couldn't do it, either.

1655
00:59:00,587 --> 00:59:03,825
Do not tell me what I can
and can't do.

1656
00:59:05,959 --> 00:59:07,158
(Lisa grunting)

1657
00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:09,026
Kayla's not answering again.

1658
00:59:09,028 --> 00:59:10,428
- Goddamn it.
- We lost 'em, guys.

1659
00:59:10,430 --> 00:59:11,897
We are fucked!

1660
00:59:11,899 --> 00:59:13,401
Or maybe not.

1661
00:59:16,002 --> 00:59:18,169
What are you doing?

1662
00:59:18,171 --> 00:59:20,171
Trying to telepathically
communicate with Kayla.

1663
00:59:20,173 --> 00:59:21,573
I'm with the X-Men of parents.

1664
00:59:21,575 --> 00:59:23,107
You know what
my secret power is?

1665
00:59:23,109 --> 00:59:24,642
I'm super fucking annoyed
right now,

1666
00:59:24,644 --> 00:59:26,480
and I hurt my love handle.

1667
00:59:30,917 --> 00:59:32,084
No, no.

1668
00:59:32,086 --> 00:59:33,550
Hey.

1669
00:59:33,553 --> 00:59:35,988
You guys think my new clothes
go with my fedora?

1670
00:59:35,990 --> 00:59:37,522
I'm just kidding.
I know they do.

1671
00:59:37,524 --> 00:59:38,960
(Chad chuckles)

1672
00:59:40,493 --> 00:59:41,995
(Julie sighs)

1673
00:59:43,263 --> 00:59:44,598
AUSTIN:
Hey.

1674
00:59:46,633 --> 00:59:49,267
- Have you talked to your mom?
- No.

1675
00:59:49,269 --> 00:59:50,902
So, my parents
were just texting me,

1676
00:59:50,904 --> 00:59:52,203
and they were having sex,

1677
00:59:52,205 --> 00:59:54,274
and your mom showed up
looking for you.

1678
00:59:55,408 --> 00:59:57,241
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

1679
00:59:57,243 --> 00:59:58,509
It's... it's okay.

1680
00:59:58,511 --> 01:00:00,245
They have sex all the time.

1681
01:00:00,247 --> 01:00:01,913
- (cell phone buzzes)
- Oh, my God.

1682
01:00:01,915 --> 01:00:03,547
- She... The texts.
- (buzzing continues)

1683
01:00:03,549 --> 01:00:05,317
So many texts.

1684
01:00:05,319 --> 01:00:06,951
She's mad.

1685
01:00:06,953 --> 01:00:09,254
I need to handle this.

1686
01:00:09,256 --> 01:00:10,988
Good news.
A Lyft is on its way.

1687
01:00:10,990 --> 01:00:13,024
Oh, wait, no, I know this guy.
He sucks.

1688
01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:14,225
- (cell phone buzzing)
- Oh, shit. It's Julie.

1689
01:00:14,227 --> 01:00:16,328
- Be-be cool, be cool, be cool, be cool.
- Okay, be quiet.

1690
01:00:16,330 --> 01:00:18,663
- Okay.
- JULIE: Hey, Mom.

1691
01:00:18,665 --> 01:00:20,399
I just got all your texts,
and I just want

1692
01:00:20,401 --> 01:00:21,667
to let you know
that we're all good.

1693
01:00:21,669 --> 01:00:23,000
LISA:
Cool, cool. Okay.

1694
01:00:23,002 --> 01:00:26,171
Um, are you at the prom?

1695
01:00:26,173 --> 01:00:27,339
Yeah.

1696
01:00:27,341 --> 01:00:29,707
Yeah, just nonstop
magical moments.

1697
01:00:29,709 --> 01:00:31,343
Ha! You are lying to me.

1698
01:00:31,345 --> 01:00:33,044
Where are you right now?
Where are you?

1699
01:00:33,046 --> 01:00:34,212
Why are you freaking out?

1700
01:00:34,214 --> 01:00:35,513
I'm freaking out

1701
01:00:35,515 --> 01:00:37,549
because I know
what you're up to.

1702
01:00:37,552 --> 01:00:39,250
And I know that you
and your friends

1703
01:00:39,252 --> 01:00:42,721
are planning some kind
of little sex pact or whatever.

1704
01:00:42,723 --> 01:00:45,223
- What did you say?
- You heard me.

1705
01:00:45,225 --> 01:00:47,158
How could you possibly know?

1706
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:50,729
Because I am your mother
and I know you.

1707
01:00:50,731 --> 01:00:53,631
- And I know you better than you know yourself.
- HUNTER: Yes.

1708
01:00:53,633 --> 01:00:58,203
And I also know that you're
planning on going to UCLA

1709
01:00:58,205 --> 01:01:00,372
and that you're
following Austin.

1710
01:01:00,374 --> 01:01:02,306
Yeah. (chuckles)

1711
01:01:02,308 --> 01:01:06,414
I... know... everything.

1712
01:01:07,647 --> 01:01:11,116
Oh, my God, you know nothing.

1713
01:01:11,118 --> 01:01:13,752
Why do you even assume
that it's me following Austin?

1714
01:01:13,754 --> 01:01:17,355
Huh? You're not worried
about me, Mom.

1715
01:01:17,357 --> 01:01:18,622
You're worried about you.

1716
01:01:18,624 --> 01:01:20,125
You're afraid of losing me.

1717
01:01:20,127 --> 01:01:21,526
You're afraid of being alone.

1718
01:01:21,528 --> 01:01:23,995
I am not scared of being alone.

1719
01:01:23,997 --> 01:01:25,363
(laughs)

1720
01:01:25,365 --> 01:01:27,332
This is not about me.

1721
01:01:27,334 --> 01:01:31,402
I have not thought about myself
for the last 18 years.

1722
01:01:31,404 --> 01:01:33,404
This is about you.

1723
01:01:33,406 --> 01:01:37,142
And as a single mother,
I am trying to stop you

1724
01:01:37,144 --> 01:01:39,212
from making
a life-ruining decision.

1725
01:01:40,546 --> 01:01:43,247
So I was a...
a life-ruining decision?

1726
01:01:43,249 --> 01:01:46,051
No. No, of cour...
No, that is not what I meant.

1727
01:01:46,053 --> 01:01:48,285
- No, that is not what I meant.
- You know what, Mom?

1728
01:01:48,287 --> 01:01:51,323
I'm not going to UCLA
because of some boy, okay?

1729
01:01:51,325 --> 01:01:53,692
I'm going to UCLA
because it's the furthest

1730
01:01:53,694 --> 01:01:55,462
I can get from you.

1731
01:01:57,131 --> 01:01:59,131
W-Well...

1732
01:01:59,133 --> 01:02:01,600
Hello?

1733
01:02:01,602 --> 01:02:04,569
Nanaru is on his way.

1734
01:02:04,571 --> 01:02:06,207
46 minutes.

1735
01:02:07,807 --> 01:02:11,011
Well, so she hates me.

1736
01:02:12,145 --> 01:02:13,544
(Mitchell sighs)

1737
01:02:13,546 --> 01:02:15,513
She doesn't hate you.

1738
01:02:15,515 --> 01:02:17,249
Kayla's ignoring me.

1739
01:02:17,251 --> 01:02:19,517
She's bringing it
to a whole new level of spite.

1740
01:02:19,519 --> 01:02:21,152
Yeah.

1741
01:02:21,154 --> 01:02:23,120
It's a...
that's a new level of pain.

1742
01:02:23,122 --> 01:02:25,089
Yeah. I know, I know.

1743
01:02:25,091 --> 01:02:28,225
It's just different for me,
because I gave birth to her,

1744
01:02:28,227 --> 01:02:30,294
and I just feel very connected.

1745
01:02:30,296 --> 01:02:32,263
She was living in my body.

1746
01:02:32,265 --> 01:02:33,631
- Kayla grew in me.
- Yeah.

1747
01:02:33,633 --> 01:02:35,200
She grew in me. She-she did.

1748
01:02:35,202 --> 01:02:37,835
She grew from my balls,
and I shot her into Marcie.

1749
01:02:37,837 --> 01:02:40,240
This is the same
for you and me.

1750
01:02:41,408 --> 01:02:42,707
Not exactly.

1751
01:02:42,709 --> 01:02:46,143
I mean, you have
daily love in your life,

1752
01:02:46,145 --> 01:02:49,080
and I'm probably gonna
die alone

1753
01:02:49,082 --> 01:02:51,482
and won't be found
for a really long time.

1754
01:02:51,484 --> 01:02:54,419
Until one day,
someone will be walking by

1755
01:02:54,421 --> 01:02:55,754
with their golden retriever,

1756
01:02:55,756 --> 01:02:57,656
and the dog
is just gonna lose its shit,

1757
01:02:57,658 --> 01:02:59,558
and then they're gonna
call the police,

1758
01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:03,562
and then they're gonna come in
and find me draped over the tub

1759
01:03:03,564 --> 01:03:07,232
with my feral cats
eating away at my hair.

1760
01:03:07,234 --> 01:03:08,732
'Cause cats do that.

1761
01:03:08,734 --> 01:03:10,401
The fuck is wrong with you?

1762
01:03:10,403 --> 01:03:12,437
That is some dark shit.

1763
01:03:12,439 --> 01:03:14,238
- You're gonna die alone?
- Oh, oh, oh, oh! My man!

1764
01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:15,806
- My man!
- Where the hell did you get that idea?

1765
01:03:15,808 --> 01:03:16,808
- You know what?
- Come on!

1766
01:03:16,810 --> 01:03:18,343
I call you all the time.

1767
01:03:18,345 --> 01:03:20,111
You ever return my calls? No.

1768
01:03:20,113 --> 01:03:21,812
Because we're not
really friends, you and me.

1769
01:03:21,814 --> 01:03:23,482
We're not friends?

1770
01:03:23,484 --> 01:03:25,484
I don't mean it, uh, that...
I-I... you...

1771
01:03:25,486 --> 01:03:27,752
You know what you are?

1772
01:03:27,754 --> 01:03:30,522
You are like the thing
that pops up on Facebook,

1773
01:03:30,524 --> 01:03:33,457
and then it's, like,
this beautiful picture

1774
01:03:33,459 --> 01:03:36,428
of your grandma who's dead.

1775
01:03:36,430 --> 01:03:38,430
And you're like,
"Fuck you, Facebook,

1776
01:03:38,432 --> 01:03:40,297
for reminding me of my loss."

1777
01:03:40,299 --> 01:03:41,399
That's why you're avoiding me?

1778
01:03:41,401 --> 01:03:43,167
Because I remind you of loss?

1779
01:03:43,169 --> 01:03:46,770
Yes. I don't want to be
reminded of sweet, young Julie

1780
01:03:46,772 --> 01:03:49,274
and our kids
and that beautiful time

1781
01:03:49,276 --> 01:03:50,908
- in our lives is over.
- HUNTER: Oh, God.

1782
01:03:50,910 --> 01:03:53,245
Boo-fucking-hoo with you two.

1783
01:03:53,247 --> 01:03:55,446
You guys completely ignore me.

1784
01:03:55,448 --> 01:03:57,482
- Always.
- Yeah, no shit, cheater.

1785
01:03:57,484 --> 01:03:58,917
Oh, cheater? That's my...
that's my designation?

1786
01:03:58,919 --> 01:04:00,685
That's what I am?
I'm the cheater?

1787
01:04:00,687 --> 01:04:02,453
Fuck that shit.

1788
01:04:02,455 --> 01:04:04,823
Did you guys ever once call me
when that went down

1789
01:04:04,825 --> 01:04:06,790
and ask me my side
of the story?

1790
01:04:06,792 --> 01:04:08,627
You didn't.

1791
01:04:08,629 --> 01:04:10,194
I would have
told you the truth.

1792
01:04:10,196 --> 01:04:11,897
I would have told you
that Brenda had stopped

1793
01:04:11,899 --> 01:04:13,531
talking to me
months before that happened.

1794
01:04:13,533 --> 01:04:15,500
You know she hooked up
with her boss

1795
01:04:15,502 --> 01:04:18,270
at a company retreat
in Wisconsin?

1796
01:04:18,272 --> 01:04:19,738
Do you know she beat me up?

1797
01:04:19,740 --> 01:04:21,473
She fucking beat me up

1798
01:04:21,475 --> 01:04:23,707
at a Romano's
fucking Macaroni Grill!

1799
01:04:23,709 --> 01:04:26,477
She fucking slapped me in front
of the fucking maitre d'!

1800
01:04:26,479 --> 01:04:27,678
- I didn't know that.
- I'm sorry, man.

1801
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:29,680
And I fucking embarrass myself,

1802
01:04:29,682 --> 01:04:31,917
and I embarrass myself
in front of my daughter.

1803
01:04:31,919 --> 01:04:33,350
And I-I-I thought, you know,

1804
01:04:33,352 --> 01:04:34,652
I should pull back
a little bit,

1805
01:04:34,654 --> 01:04:35,953
and then fucking Frank
showed up,

1806
01:04:35,955 --> 01:04:37,888
and he... I pulled back more,

1807
01:04:37,890 --> 01:04:39,790
and I thought,
"One day I'm gonna fix it.

1808
01:04:39,792 --> 01:04:41,560
One day I'm gonna
fucking fix it."

1809
01:04:41,562 --> 01:04:43,460
And then I thought,
if I gave her

1810
01:04:43,462 --> 01:04:48,232
something awesome,
like a great night,

1811
01:04:48,234 --> 01:04:50,468
I could get close
with her again.

1812
01:04:50,470 --> 01:04:52,140
But I can't.

1813
01:04:53,941 --> 01:04:55,674
(sniffs)

1814
01:04:55,676 --> 01:04:57,509
'Cause she's gone.
They're just...

1815
01:04:57,511 --> 01:04:59,511
(sighs) The kids, they...

1816
01:04:59,513 --> 01:05:00,879
they just leave.

1817
01:05:00,881 --> 01:05:03,547
Oh, shit!
I know how we can find them.

1818
01:05:03,549 --> 01:05:04,915
Go to Cathy and Ron's.

1819
01:05:04,917 --> 01:05:06,484
Austin's been texting them
all night.

1820
01:05:06,486 --> 01:05:08,553
Did you hear anything
I said just now?

1821
01:05:08,555 --> 01:05:10,254
- That's a great idea.
- (sighs) Fuck it.

1822
01:05:10,256 --> 01:05:11,656
It's just good
to say it out loud.

1823
01:05:11,658 --> 01:05:13,828
- Let's go flip that car.
- Hell... (screams)

1824
01:05:14,928 --> 01:05:17,596
Jesus Christ!

1825
01:05:17,598 --> 01:05:20,935
Oh, my fucking God.

1826
01:05:22,336 --> 01:05:23,834
Shit.

1827
01:05:23,836 --> 01:05:26,538
My car just exploded.

1828
01:05:26,540 --> 01:05:28,176
(Lisa sighs)

1829
01:05:29,308 --> 01:05:31,709
Nanaru is 26 minutes away.

1830
01:05:31,711 --> 01:05:33,245
So that's good.

1831
01:05:33,247 --> 01:05:34,613
- (Lisa sighs)
- I thought I canceled him.

1832
01:05:34,615 --> 01:05:35,980
Thanks, Nanaru.

1833
01:05:35,982 --> 01:05:37,381
So Austin's parents
aren't gonna

1834
01:05:37,383 --> 01:05:38,683
just tell us where they are.

1835
01:05:38,685 --> 01:05:40,752
So we need to get Ron's phone,

1836
01:05:40,754 --> 01:05:43,020
read the texts
and find our kids.

1837
01:05:43,022 --> 01:05:44,355
Okay?

1838
01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:46,258
Hunter, it's not gonna be you.

1839
01:05:46,260 --> 01:05:47,725
So, Mitchell, it's you.

1840
01:05:47,727 --> 01:05:49,560
No. That's breaking
and entering.

1841
01:05:49,562 --> 01:05:51,663
That is...
I'm uncomfortable with that.

1842
01:05:51,665 --> 01:05:53,497
Are you a team player,
or aren't you?

1843
01:05:53,499 --> 01:05:54,698
Am I a team player?

1844
01:05:54,700 --> 01:05:55,966
I just chugged a 40
with my asshole.

1845
01:05:55,968 --> 01:05:57,002
I'm a team player.

1846
01:05:57,004 --> 01:05:58,770
Then get your head in the game.

1847
01:05:58,772 --> 01:06:01,372
It's the bottom of the third,
we are down by one,

1848
01:06:01,374 --> 01:06:03,610
and there is not a lot
of game left.

1849
01:06:04,944 --> 01:06:06,710
There is a lot
of game left, though.

1850
01:06:06,712 --> 01:06:08,712
Listen. You have one pass left.

1851
01:06:08,714 --> 01:06:10,649
One. One pass.

1852
01:06:10,651 --> 01:06:12,716
- Is it rug... rugby?
- You don't have a limit on passing.

1853
01:06:12,718 --> 01:06:13,785
Is it Australian-rules
football?

1854
01:06:13,787 --> 01:06:15,620
And if it was the third,
I would have the fourth...

1855
01:06:15,622 --> 01:06:16,921
You know what? You know
what's happening right now?

1856
01:06:16,923 --> 01:06:18,689
Let me tell you what's
happening right now.

1857
01:06:18,691 --> 01:06:20,825
Is Kayla and Connor
are sliding into bed.

1858
01:06:20,827 --> 01:06:22,459
He's grabbing a condom,

1859
01:06:22,461 --> 01:06:24,596
and then he's flicking it
to the side

1860
01:06:24,598 --> 01:06:26,531
with a smirk on his face.

1861
01:06:26,533 --> 01:06:29,600
That fucking smirk. No way.

1862
01:06:29,602 --> 01:06:30,935
We need a Hail Mary pass.

1863
01:06:30,937 --> 01:06:32,569
Are you up for that, son?

1864
01:06:32,571 --> 01:06:34,038
- Yes, Coach.
- Well, I can't hear you.

1865
01:06:34,040 --> 01:06:35,707
- Yes, Coach. I'm in it.
- I can't hear you!

1866
01:06:35,709 --> 01:06:37,008
I can fucking do this!
Let's go!

1867
01:06:37,010 --> 01:06:38,446
Okay, we gotta...
we gotta be quiet.

1868
01:06:43,082 --> 01:06:44,785
HUNTER (whispering):
Careful.

1869
01:06:50,423 --> 01:06:51,790
All right, go.

1870
01:06:51,792 --> 01:06:53,394
Go.

1871
01:07:05,404 --> 01:07:07,341
♪ ♪

1872
01:07:19,352 --> 01:07:20,873
(whispering):
Did you...? Look at that.

1873
01:07:28,627 --> 01:07:29,861
(whispering):
Go out that way.

1874
01:07:29,863 --> 01:07:30,995
There's a person.
There's a person.

1875
01:07:30,997 --> 01:07:32,566
What? Fuck you.

1876
01:07:34,066 --> 01:07:35,702
Jesus Christ.

1877
01:07:48,482 --> 01:07:51,750
RON (singsongy):
I'm gonna get you.

1878
01:07:51,752 --> 01:07:55,486
(chuckles)
Not if I get you first.

1879
01:07:55,488 --> 01:07:57,589
(hooting like a monkey)

1880
01:07:57,591 --> 01:07:59,359
(piano plays discordant notes)

1881
01:08:01,828 --> 01:08:03,995
No, no. Get away from here.

1882
01:08:03,997 --> 01:08:06,433
- I'm fucking out.
- Mitchell, in. - Get in. (gasps)

1883
01:08:08,167 --> 01:08:10,801
- RON: Cath?
- CATHY: Ron, no talking.

1884
01:08:10,803 --> 01:08:13,605
Come on, we had a deal.
We have to find each other

1885
01:08:13,607 --> 01:08:15,607
by sensing each other's musks.

1886
01:08:15,609 --> 01:08:17,008
Can't use our voices.

1887
01:08:17,010 --> 01:08:19,980
(heavy, rumbling footsteps)

1888
01:08:32,592 --> 01:08:33,758
(cell phone buzzing)

1889
01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:35,426
(Cathy hooting)

1890
01:08:35,428 --> 01:08:37,795
Here, kitty, kitty.

1891
01:08:37,797 --> 01:08:39,029
I can smell that musk.

1892
01:08:39,031 --> 01:08:40,735
(Cathy hisses, purrs)

1893
01:08:43,069 --> 01:08:46,004
(Cathy chuckles)

1894
01:08:46,006 --> 01:08:48,505
- (Cathy screams, grunts)
- RON (chuckling): Oh. Yeah.

1895
01:08:48,507 --> 01:08:51,041
- (slapping)
- Yeah, yeah, I like the sound of that.

1896
01:08:51,043 --> 01:08:52,943
CATHY:
Oh!

1897
01:08:52,945 --> 01:08:54,879
RON:
Oh! Hey.

1898
01:08:54,881 --> 01:08:57,614
You want to touch first,
that works for Ronnie.

1899
01:08:57,616 --> 01:08:58,916
You want me to touch you?

1900
01:08:58,918 --> 01:09:00,218
- Help yourself.
- You want me to touch you?

1901
01:09:00,220 --> 01:09:02,519
- Yes.
- I'm gonna touch you hard.

1902
01:09:02,521 --> 01:09:05,523
- Do it. Do it.
- How about I touch you with my nails, baby?

1903
01:09:05,525 --> 01:09:07,724
- Let's have it.
- Oh, oh, yeah.

1904
01:09:07,726 --> 01:09:09,461
- Oh, wow.
- CATHY: Your hair is so sexy, babe.

1905
01:09:09,463 --> 01:09:10,761
Your grip is unbelievable.

1906
01:09:10,763 --> 01:09:12,563
RON:
I want you to touch me

1907
01:09:12,565 --> 01:09:13,864
where I like.

1908
01:09:13,866 --> 01:09:15,733
My balls, you know?

1909
01:09:15,735 --> 01:09:18,536
CATHY: Oh, you'd like me
to touch your balls.

1910
01:09:18,538 --> 01:09:20,804
You want me to touch
your balls, do you?

1911
01:09:20,806 --> 01:09:22,907
- RON: Yes, I do.
- CATHY: How badly do you

1912
01:09:22,909 --> 01:09:24,509
want me to tug at your balls?

1913
01:09:24,511 --> 01:09:26,810
RON: I want you
to rip them off my body.

1914
01:09:26,812 --> 01:09:28,846
- That's what I want.
- Mm, I don't really believe you.

1915
01:09:28,848 --> 01:09:30,547
I don't believe
you want it bad enough.

1916
01:09:30,549 --> 01:09:31,983
RON:
I want it bad. Do it. Come on.

1917
01:09:31,985 --> 01:09:33,917
- Really? How bad?
- I want it so bad that my balls

1918
01:09:33,919 --> 01:09:35,586
- are going to explode.
- Ooh, are they gonna explode

1919
01:09:35,588 --> 01:09:37,721
into a million little pieces?

1920
01:09:37,723 --> 01:09:39,122
Well, let me tell you
something, darling.

1921
01:09:39,124 --> 01:09:40,224
It is your lucky day.

1922
01:09:40,226 --> 01:09:41,626
Because it's Christmas for you.

1923
01:09:41,628 --> 01:09:42,827
- (groans)
- RON: Let's go.

1924
01:09:42,829 --> 01:09:44,562
Come on. Come on, do it.

1925
01:09:44,564 --> 01:09:46,663
- You there?
- What, this isn't hard enough?

1926
01:09:46,665 --> 01:09:48,066
- RON: Let's go. Come on.
- CATHY: Harder?

1927
01:09:48,068 --> 01:09:49,666
RON:
Come on, do it, do it.

1928
01:09:49,668 --> 01:09:51,669
- I'm waiting.
- Okeydokey.

1929
01:09:51,671 --> 01:09:54,538
CATHY (grunts):
Oh, yeah, you like that?

1930
01:09:54,540 --> 01:09:56,707
Hey, man, I don't judge
people's sex shit.

1931
01:09:56,709 --> 01:09:58,576
That was ridiculous and stupid.

1932
01:09:58,578 --> 01:10:00,010
Way to take one
for the team, guys.

1933
01:10:00,012 --> 01:10:01,679
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Here it is.

1934
01:10:01,681 --> 01:10:03,547
"The police came
to the lake house.

1935
01:10:03,549 --> 01:10:05,649
Almost lost my flower
but didn't quite work out."

1936
01:10:05,651 --> 01:10:07,785
- Flower? - Flower?
- He said that? He's a boy.

1937
01:10:07,787 --> 01:10:08,853
LISA:
Hub-uh-uh, hub-uh-uh...

1938
01:10:08,855 --> 01:10:10,522
"Heading
to the Park West Hotel.

1939
01:10:10,524 --> 01:10:12,023
- We've got the Grand Lux Suite."
- Suite?

1940
01:10:12,025 --> 01:10:13,925
"Looks like the little boy
is becoming a man."

1941
01:10:13,927 --> 01:10:15,093
Fucking dork.

1942
01:10:15,095 --> 01:10:16,627
Okay, so that was
ten minutes ago.

1943
01:10:16,629 --> 01:10:17,795
So they haven't had sex yet.

1944
01:10:17,797 --> 01:10:18,929
We can still catch 'em.

1945
01:10:18,931 --> 01:10:20,797
Okay, let's do this.

1946
01:10:20,799 --> 01:10:22,000
♪ ♪

1947
01:10:22,002 --> 01:10:23,968
♪ I am free, yeah, yeah ♪

1948
01:10:23,970 --> 01:10:26,136
♪ Come water me, oh, oh ♪

1949
01:10:26,138 --> 01:10:28,139
♪ Love you so,
but if you don't ♪

1950
01:10:28,141 --> 01:10:31,209
♪ I have to leave,
oh, no, whoo ♪

1951
01:10:31,211 --> 01:10:33,711
♪ It's hot, I think I wanna
kick off both of my socks ♪

1952
01:10:33,713 --> 01:10:35,880
♪ I can feel it boilin' up
in this pot ♪

1953
01:10:35,882 --> 01:10:38,916
♪ A closed mouth don't get fed,
is you hungry or not? ♪

1954
01:10:38,918 --> 01:10:41,853
♪ Like brr-brr, operator,
caboose like choo-choo ♪

1955
01:10:41,855 --> 01:10:43,720
♪ Bless my trainer, thank God,
thank God, thank God ♪

1956
01:10:43,722 --> 01:10:45,723
♪ I'm gettin' thicker,
and I got 'em sweatin' ♪

1957
01:10:45,725 --> 01:10:47,058
♪ In the middle of the winter ♪

1958
01:10:47,060 --> 01:10:48,960
♪ Get up,
I don't get dehydrated ♪

1959
01:10:48,962 --> 01:10:51,828
♪ I moisturize it daily ♪

1960
01:10:51,830 --> 01:10:54,599
♪ I am my inspiration ♪

1961
01:10:54,601 --> 01:10:56,000
- ♪ I am my inspiration ♪
- ♪ Get up ♪

1962
01:10:56,002 --> 01:10:58,102
♪ I am free, yeah, yeah ♪

1963
01:10:58,104 --> 01:11:00,170
♪ Come water me, oh, oh ♪

1964
01:11:00,172 --> 01:11:01,738
♪ Love you so,
but if you don't ♪

1965
01:11:01,740 --> 01:11:03,843
♪ Then I have to go. ♪

1966
01:11:05,645 --> 01:11:06,877
Hey.

1967
01:11:06,879 --> 01:11:08,179
- Hey.
- Hey.

1968
01:11:08,181 --> 01:11:10,214
How's she doing?
Is she okay?

1969
01:11:10,216 --> 01:11:12,050
No, she's not doing okay.
She's bummed.

1970
01:11:12,052 --> 01:11:14,588
She doesn't even want to kiss.
And I love kissing.

1971
01:11:16,256 --> 01:11:17,822
Give me your room key.

1972
01:11:17,824 --> 01:11:19,223
- What? Why?
- Yeah.

1973
01:11:19,225 --> 01:11:21,259
Give me your room key,
and then bring her up

1974
01:11:21,261 --> 01:11:22,863
in like 15 minutes.

1975
01:11:23,997 --> 01:11:25,596
- Okay.
- Yes.

1976
01:11:25,598 --> 01:11:26,764
Thanks. You're the man.

1977
01:11:26,766 --> 01:11:28,366
Thank you for this.

1978
01:11:28,368 --> 01:11:29,870
(sighs)

1979
01:11:30,971 --> 01:11:32,906
♪ ♪

1980
01:11:34,740 --> 01:11:36,206
How we supposed to find them
in this place?

1981
01:11:36,208 --> 01:11:37,908
It's got like 20 rooms.

1982
01:11:37,910 --> 01:11:39,309
HUNTER:
I'm sorry, what the fuck

1983
01:11:39,311 --> 01:11:40,877
are you talking about?

1984
01:11:40,879 --> 01:11:42,880
20? It's got like 200.

1985
01:11:42,882 --> 01:11:44,148
What? 20?

1986
01:11:44,150 --> 01:11:46,184
Grand Lux Suite
is on the top floor.

1987
01:11:46,186 --> 01:11:47,618
HUNTER:
Go, go, go, go.

1988
01:11:47,620 --> 01:11:49,252
Move. Hurry, Lisa!

1989
01:11:49,254 --> 01:11:53,825
♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance,
dance, dance, dance ♪

1990
01:11:53,827 --> 01:11:55,827
♪ Make it clap like this ♪

1991
01:11:55,829 --> 01:11:58,966
♪ Dance, dance,
dance, dance... ♪

1992
01:12:08,074 --> 01:12:10,010
♪ ♪

1993
01:12:30,262 --> 01:12:32,198
♪ ♪

1994
01:12:49,682 --> 01:12:51,314
(sighs)

1995
01:12:51,316 --> 01:12:53,319
What am I doing here?

1996
01:13:06,966 --> 01:13:08,968
(door opens)

1997
01:13:12,172 --> 01:13:13,904
Oh, my God. (gasps)

1998
01:13:13,906 --> 01:13:16,040
Oh, my God, my favorite.

1999
01:13:16,042 --> 01:13:17,841
That's so sweet.

2000
01:13:17,843 --> 01:13:19,242
(gasps) Oh, my God.

2001
01:13:19,244 --> 01:13:20,844
This is a dream.

2002
01:13:20,846 --> 01:13:22,145
(gasps) It's, like, perfect.

2003
01:13:22,147 --> 01:13:23,715
That is... It's so nice.

2004
01:13:23,717 --> 01:13:24,849
You're so sweet.

2005
01:13:24,851 --> 01:13:26,850
It actually wasn't me.

2006
01:13:26,852 --> 01:13:28,051
It was Kayla.

2007
01:13:28,053 --> 01:13:29,786
She wanted you
to have the perfect night.

2008
01:13:29,788 --> 01:13:31,022
That's why it looks so good.

2009
01:13:31,024 --> 01:13:33,758
Well, why do you look so good?

2010
01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:35,492
(laughing):
You're such a dork.

2011
01:13:35,494 --> 01:13:37,196
I-I know.

2012
01:13:39,498 --> 01:13:41,702
- Oh, my God. (gasps)
- (Austin chuckles)

2013
01:13:45,872 --> 01:13:48,042
Not as smooth as I could.

2014
01:13:51,511 --> 01:13:53,478
Let me get my shoes.

2015
01:13:53,480 --> 01:13:54,478
(mouths)

2016
01:13:54,480 --> 01:13:56,416
♪ ♪

2017
01:13:57,784 --> 01:13:58,819
Kayla?

2018
01:14:05,091 --> 01:14:06,758
Nobody move. Where's Kayla?

2019
01:14:06,760 --> 01:14:08,796
Kayla? Kayla?

2020
01:14:09,928 --> 01:14:11,429
Get that out of here.

2021
01:14:11,431 --> 01:14:12,964
Now, how's this work?
Is this...?

2022
01:14:12,966 --> 01:14:14,165
- No, just leave it.
- Okay, cool.

2023
01:14:14,167 --> 01:14:15,207
- It's difficult.
- Mm-hmm.

2024
01:14:18,370 --> 01:14:20,138
Play sports.

2025
01:14:20,140 --> 01:14:22,105
Mwah. Mwah.

2026
01:14:22,107 --> 01:14:24,908
Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.

2027
01:14:24,910 --> 01:14:26,277
Mwah.

2028
01:14:26,279 --> 01:14:27,944
And that's that.

2029
01:14:27,946 --> 01:14:31,114
So, you, uh,
sure you want to do this?

2030
01:14:31,116 --> 01:14:32,149
Yeah.

2031
01:14:32,151 --> 01:14:33,917
Yes. Fuck yeah.

2032
01:14:33,919 --> 01:14:35,920
You're gonna...
you're gonna penis me.

2033
01:14:35,922 --> 01:14:38,255
- Yep.
- First, I'm gonna...

2034
01:14:38,257 --> 01:14:40,056
I'm just gonna touch it.

2035
01:14:40,058 --> 01:14:41,559
- You want to touch it? Yeah, you can touch it.
- Yeah.

2036
01:14:41,561 --> 01:14:43,426
- Yeah, yeah, go for it. Yeah.
- Okay, just, like...

2037
01:14:43,428 --> 01:14:45,429
Oh! Wow!

2038
01:14:45,431 --> 01:14:47,398
Okay. That is, like,
the greatest feeling

2039
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:49,800
I've ever had
in my entire life. (moans)

2040
01:14:49,802 --> 01:14:51,868
Really?

2041
01:14:51,870 --> 01:14:54,938
It doesn't just feel like
a super dry hand of a friend?

2042
01:14:54,940 --> 01:14:56,943
No. Nope.

2043
01:14:58,043 --> 01:14:59,943
Okay, so...

2044
01:14:59,945 --> 01:15:03,080
do you want to, um...

2045
01:15:03,082 --> 01:15:04,383
put it in?

2046
01:15:07,820 --> 01:15:08,986
No.

2047
01:15:08,988 --> 01:15:10,353
Okay.

2048
01:15:10,355 --> 01:15:12,055
- I can't. I'm sorry.
- You know what?

2049
01:15:12,057 --> 01:15:14,591
Look, we don't ha... (yells)

2050
01:15:14,593 --> 01:15:16,327
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

2051
01:15:16,329 --> 01:15:18,228
- Holy shit!
- Right there. Look at all of it.

2052
01:15:18,230 --> 01:15:20,096
Oh, my gosh! I gotta get over.

2053
01:15:20,098 --> 01:15:22,200
- Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- (Sam chuckling)

2054
01:15:22,202 --> 01:15:24,068
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

2055
01:15:24,070 --> 01:15:26,603
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I just...

2056
01:15:26,605 --> 01:15:28,840
- It's okay.
- I was thinking about it and you,

2057
01:15:28,842 --> 01:15:30,875
and then it just... I'm sorry.

2058
01:15:30,877 --> 01:15:32,309
- (Chad panting)
- (Sam chuckles)

2059
01:15:32,311 --> 01:15:34,178
My God.

2060
01:15:34,180 --> 01:15:35,846
You're amazing.

2061
01:15:35,848 --> 01:15:37,881
I know we're still virgins,

2062
01:15:37,883 --> 01:15:40,417
but I feel different, you know?

2063
01:15:40,419 --> 01:15:42,953
Yeah.

2064
01:15:42,955 --> 01:15:44,391
I know.

2065
01:15:47,159 --> 01:15:50,027
You ready to, uh, do this?

2066
01:15:50,029 --> 01:15:52,129
Wait.

2067
01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:54,999
Wait. Um...

2068
01:15:55,001 --> 01:15:57,335
Ah, shit.

2069
01:15:57,337 --> 01:15:59,006
Shit.

2070
01:16:00,973 --> 01:16:03,206
Maybe Julie was right.

2071
01:16:03,208 --> 01:16:05,910
Like, maybe losing
your virginity

2072
01:16:05,912 --> 01:16:08,144
doesn't have to be perfect,
but...

2073
01:16:08,146 --> 01:16:09,947
I feel like it should
just be, like,

2074
01:16:09,949 --> 01:16:12,116
a little bit more special
than this, you know?

2075
01:16:12,118 --> 01:16:13,651
- Yeah.
- Like, not cheesy, but...

2076
01:16:13,653 --> 01:16:16,153
Like, if I was hard-pressed
right now,

2077
01:16:16,155 --> 01:16:18,989
I don't think I could remember
your last name.

2078
01:16:18,991 --> 01:16:19,991
- It's Aldrich.
- Aldrich.

2079
01:16:19,993 --> 01:16:22,059
I thought it was Ostrich.

2080
01:16:22,061 --> 01:16:24,327
I-I didn't realize
that you're a virgin.

2081
01:16:24,329 --> 01:16:26,496
- You know?
- Yeah.

2082
01:16:26,498 --> 01:16:30,334
Um, but, like,
I'd still be down to do it,

2083
01:16:30,336 --> 01:16:32,135
but maybe, like, you know,

2084
01:16:32,137 --> 01:16:34,205
when we get to know each other
a little more.

2085
01:16:34,207 --> 01:16:36,006
Like, maybe Monday
or something?

2086
01:16:36,008 --> 01:16:38,442
- Yeah.
- Not to, like, plan it and be weird, but, like...

2087
01:16:38,444 --> 01:16:40,243
No, no, I can look
at my schedule

2088
01:16:40,245 --> 01:16:41,912
- and see if it's... (chuckles)
- (laughing): Okay.

2089
01:16:41,914 --> 01:16:43,346
Pencil it in.

2090
01:16:43,348 --> 01:16:45,349
Um, yeah, that's cool.

2091
01:16:45,351 --> 01:16:47,151
- Okay, cool.
- Um, let's just relax.

2092
01:16:47,153 --> 01:16:49,286
We could do, like, some
light journaling or something.

2093
01:16:49,288 --> 01:16:52,290
Yeah, yeah, we could...
we could do that.

2094
01:16:52,292 --> 01:16:57,260
Or we could do,
like, other stuff.

2095
01:16:57,262 --> 01:16:59,263
Yeah? Like what?

2096
01:16:59,265 --> 01:17:01,431
Like...

2097
01:17:01,433 --> 01:17:04,568
not sex, but...

2098
01:17:04,570 --> 01:17:08,339
I'm still down for pleasure.

2099
01:17:08,341 --> 01:17:10,043
(Connor chuckles)

2100
01:17:13,946 --> 01:17:15,278
(exhales sharply)

2101
01:17:15,280 --> 01:17:17,281
You got this.

2102
01:17:17,283 --> 01:17:18,349
Hey, guys. What's up?

2103
01:17:18,351 --> 01:17:21,154
Anyone seen Sam?
Anyone seen Sam?

2104
01:17:26,191 --> 01:17:28,291
Chad!

2105
01:17:28,293 --> 01:17:29,292
Fuck.

2106
01:17:29,294 --> 01:17:30,931
Get out of the way.

2107
01:17:33,199 --> 01:17:34,698
(grunts) Jesus!

2108
01:17:34,700 --> 01:17:37,233
(both groaning)

2109
01:17:37,235 --> 01:17:38,669
What the f...?

2110
01:17:38,671 --> 01:17:40,136
You again?

2111
01:17:40,138 --> 01:17:41,471
- You!
- What the fuck?

2112
01:17:41,473 --> 01:17:43,107
What's your beef with me, dude?

2113
01:17:43,109 --> 01:17:44,341
I don't know
who the fuck you are!

2114
01:17:44,343 --> 01:17:46,344
I'm Jake motherfucking Donahue.

2115
01:17:46,346 --> 01:17:48,345
That name means nothing to me.

2116
01:17:48,347 --> 01:17:50,313
Do you know what it's like
to be humiliated

2117
01:17:50,315 --> 01:17:51,681
in front of everyone you know

2118
01:17:51,683 --> 01:17:53,587
and have to seek redemption
for that?

2119
01:17:54,721 --> 01:17:57,054
Actually, yes, I do.

2120
01:17:57,056 --> 01:18:00,191
Kayla? Kayla?

2121
01:18:00,193 --> 01:18:01,692
Kayla? Get the hell away

2122
01:18:01,694 --> 01:18:04,094
from my daughter,
you little piece of shit!

2123
01:18:04,096 --> 01:18:05,763
- Dad, what the...?
- (Connor screams)

2124
01:18:05,765 --> 01:18:07,331
KAYLA:
Oh, my God!

2125
01:18:07,333 --> 01:18:09,099
You okay?
He didn't hurt you, did he?

2126
01:18:09,101 --> 01:18:10,568
What? No, he didn't hurt me.

2127
01:18:10,570 --> 01:18:12,603
Holy shit! Connor.

2128
01:18:12,605 --> 01:18:14,337
- CONNOR: Ow.
- Oh, my God, are you okay?

2129
01:18:14,339 --> 01:18:16,040
I'm actually totally fine.

2130
01:18:16,042 --> 01:18:17,441
Connor, I'm so sorry.

2131
01:18:17,443 --> 01:18:18,475
- Are you okay, though?
- Yeah, please...

2132
01:18:18,477 --> 01:18:19,676
Are you sure?

2133
01:18:19,678 --> 01:18:21,778
Dad, what the...
what are you doing here?

2134
01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:23,546
I've been following you around
all night.

2135
01:18:23,548 --> 01:18:25,316
Are you ser...? Oh, my God.

2136
01:18:25,318 --> 01:18:26,684
You've been following me?

2137
01:18:26,686 --> 01:18:28,385
- Are you crazy?
- You gave me no choice.

2138
01:18:28,387 --> 01:18:29,653
You're in over your head
with this kid.

2139
01:18:29,655 --> 01:18:31,121
I am not some pathetic

2140
01:18:31,123 --> 01:18:32,489
damsel in distress
that needs saving.

2141
01:18:32,491 --> 01:18:34,058
- I can handle myself.
- No, you can't.

2142
01:18:34,060 --> 01:18:35,492
- Yes, I can.
- No, you can't.

2143
01:18:35,494 --> 01:18:38,028
- Yes, I can.
- Kayla, you can't.

2144
01:18:38,030 --> 01:18:40,031
And that's why I'm here.

2145
01:18:40,033 --> 01:18:41,200
It's my job.

2146
01:18:42,802 --> 01:18:44,402
Oh.

2147
01:18:44,404 --> 01:18:46,703
Yeah, so you just don't think

2148
01:18:46,705 --> 01:18:50,374
I can make my own decisions
and handle myself.

2149
01:18:50,376 --> 01:18:52,611
That really fucking sucks.

2150
01:18:56,114 --> 01:18:58,715
(sighs) Kayla...

2151
01:18:58,717 --> 01:19:01,652
Kayla, I'm just trying
to figure this thing out.

2152
01:19:01,654 --> 01:19:04,991
God. Why is sex even bad?

2153
01:19:07,726 --> 01:19:09,460
(sighs)

2154
01:19:09,462 --> 01:19:11,629
I-I don't know.
I don't know. It's...

2155
01:19:11,631 --> 01:19:13,563
It's not... You know, it's...

2156
01:19:13,565 --> 01:19:15,501
I don't know.

2157
01:19:16,668 --> 01:19:18,501
I'm...

2158
01:19:18,503 --> 01:19:21,639
I'm just trying to be
the best dad I can be.

2159
01:19:21,641 --> 01:19:24,207
Well, you are.

2160
01:19:24,209 --> 01:19:27,243
You taught me everything.

2161
01:19:27,245 --> 01:19:29,546
You built me up.

2162
01:19:29,548 --> 01:19:31,614
Made me strong.

2163
01:19:31,616 --> 01:19:34,318
You made me into who I am.

2164
01:19:34,320 --> 01:19:36,719
Like, that's... (chuckles)

2165
01:19:36,721 --> 01:19:40,491
You did not have
to save me tonight, Dad.

2166
01:19:40,493 --> 01:19:44,631
You taught me how to do that
a long time ago.

2167
01:19:45,730 --> 01:19:47,166
And I love you for it.

2168
01:19:49,569 --> 01:19:51,638
Best coach ever. (chuckles)

2169
01:19:56,508 --> 01:19:59,210
Thank you. Thank you.

2170
01:19:59,212 --> 01:20:02,179
- (sniffling)
- Oh, Dad, come on.

2171
01:20:02,181 --> 01:20:03,717
Come on, toughen up.

2172
01:20:05,418 --> 01:20:07,318
It was just really nice
what you said.

2173
01:20:07,320 --> 01:20:09,252
(sniffs)
It's good. It's good.

2174
01:20:09,254 --> 01:20:10,621
I mean it.

2175
01:20:10,623 --> 01:20:12,790
Thanks. I feel like...

2176
01:20:12,792 --> 01:20:16,594
like Phil Jackson when he
was coaching the Bulls,

2177
01:20:16,596 --> 01:20:20,430
and... and then the...
and they were so good.

2178
01:20:20,432 --> 01:20:21,866
- (Kayla chuckles)
- (Mitchell sniffs)

2179
01:20:21,868 --> 01:20:24,167
- That's how I feel right now.
- Yeah.

2180
01:20:24,169 --> 01:20:27,138
AUSTIN: I should have taken
my socks off first.

2181
01:20:27,140 --> 01:20:28,872
(both laughing)

2182
01:20:28,874 --> 01:20:31,908
Now, I'm just warning you,
I've practiced a few times,

2183
01:20:31,910 --> 01:20:34,411
- but this might not go that well.
- That doesn't look right.

2184
01:20:34,413 --> 01:20:35,880
- Yeah, all right.
- I think you need another one.

2185
01:20:35,882 --> 01:20:38,215
- I think we need another one, too.
- Wait, wait.

2186
01:20:38,217 --> 01:20:39,782
We have to do our dance.

2187
01:20:39,784 --> 01:20:41,618
- We have to. Like, yeah, yeah.
- What, now?

2188
01:20:41,620 --> 01:20:43,687
- Naked?
- No, get me one of those, um...

2189
01:20:43,689 --> 01:20:45,456
the hotel robes.
I want to feel fabulous.

2190
01:20:45,458 --> 01:20:47,191
(laughing):
Okay.

2191
01:20:47,193 --> 01:20:48,528
Coming right up, milady.

2192
01:20:51,830 --> 01:20:54,465
♪ Your shadow running around ♪

2193
01:20:54,467 --> 01:20:56,767
♪ It's funny how things
never change ♪

2194
01:20:56,769 --> 01:20:58,769
♪ In this old town ♪

2195
01:20:58,771 --> 01:21:00,336
♪ So far ♪

2196
01:21:00,338 --> 01:21:01,906
(chuckling)

2197
01:21:01,908 --> 01:21:04,207
♪ From the stars... ♪

2198
01:21:04,209 --> 01:21:07,278
AUSTIN: We're gonna christen
every corner of this room.

2199
01:21:07,280 --> 01:21:10,313
And when we're done,
let's FaceTime my parents.

2200
01:21:10,315 --> 01:21:11,715
JULIE:
Okay, but right now,

2201
01:21:11,717 --> 01:21:13,884
I want you to stare
into my eyes.

2202
01:21:13,886 --> 01:21:15,486
- AUSTIN: What?
- JULIE: Mm-hmm.

2203
01:21:15,488 --> 01:21:17,921
I just want, like,
a real connection.

2204
01:21:17,923 --> 01:21:20,858
AUSTIN: So you just want me
to look straight into your eyes

2205
01:21:20,860 --> 01:21:22,660
for the next three minutes
and 37 seconds?

2206
01:21:22,662 --> 01:21:23,760
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

2207
01:21:23,762 --> 01:21:26,399
♪ Wish I was there
with you now ♪

2208
01:21:28,633 --> 01:21:30,768
♪ If the whole world
was watching ♪

2209
01:21:30,770 --> 01:21:32,469
♪ I'd still dance with you ♪

2210
01:21:32,471 --> 01:21:33,770
Look at me.

2211
01:21:33,772 --> 01:21:35,639
♪ Drive highways and byways ♪

2212
01:21:35,641 --> 01:21:37,741
♪ To be there with you ♪

2213
01:21:37,743 --> 01:21:41,946
♪ Over and over
the only truth ♪

2214
01:21:41,948 --> 01:21:46,383
♪ Everything comes back
to you ♪

2215
01:21:46,385 --> 01:21:48,155
(electrical buzzing)

2216
01:21:52,958 --> 01:21:57,228
♪ I saw that you moved on
with someone new ♪

2217
01:21:57,230 --> 01:21:59,529
♪ In the pub that we met ♪

2218
01:21:59,531 --> 01:22:01,398
♪ He's got his arms
around you ♪

2219
01:22:01,400 --> 01:22:04,504
♪ It's so hard ♪

2220
01:22:06,271 --> 01:22:09,575
♪ So hard ♪

2221
01:22:11,010 --> 01:22:13,577
♪ And I want to tell you
everything ♪

2222
01:22:13,579 --> 01:22:18,185
♪ The words I never got to say
the first time around ♪

2223
01:22:19,918 --> 01:22:22,620
♪ And I remember everything ♪

2224
01:22:22,622 --> 01:22:24,388
♪ From when we were
the children ♪

2225
01:22:24,390 --> 01:22:26,389
♪ Playing in this fairground ♪

2226
01:22:26,391 --> 01:22:28,394
♪ Wish I was there
with you now ♪

2227
01:22:31,530 --> 01:22:34,564
♪ 'Cause if the whole world
was watching, I'd still... ♪

2228
01:22:34,566 --> 01:22:36,502
♪ ♪

2229
01:22:48,346 --> 01:22:49,880
(knocking)

2230
01:22:49,882 --> 01:22:51,514
- Dad?
- Where is he?

2231
01:22:51,516 --> 01:22:53,716
- What are you doing here?
- Chad?

2232
01:22:53,718 --> 01:22:55,519
Hey, Chad, you motherfucker.

2233
01:22:55,521 --> 01:22:57,755
Oh, my God, are you kidding me?

2234
01:22:57,757 --> 01:22:59,422
Did he make you do something
you don't want to do?

2235
01:22:59,424 --> 01:23:00,657
'Cause I don't care if he's

2236
01:23:00,659 --> 01:23:01,892
the fucking coolest kid
in school.

2237
01:23:01,894 --> 01:23:03,327
I'm gonna shove his fedora

2238
01:23:03,329 --> 01:23:05,828
so far up his ass,
it'll be a hat.

2239
01:23:05,830 --> 01:23:08,698
No, Dad, we didn't do it.

2240
01:23:08,700 --> 01:23:10,067
All right? And even if we did,

2241
01:23:10,069 --> 01:23:12,973
it would be <i>none</i>
of your business.

2242
01:23:15,841 --> 01:23:19,643
It's just,
I was worried about you.

2243
01:23:19,645 --> 01:23:20,879
Well, that's a first.

2244
01:23:22,347 --> 01:23:24,681
I deserve that. (sighs)

2245
01:23:24,683 --> 01:23:25,948
Sam, I gotta tell you
something,

2246
01:23:25,950 --> 01:23:27,886
and I'm just gonna say it.

2247
01:23:30,690 --> 01:23:32,292
(Hunter groans)

2248
01:23:33,758 --> 01:23:36,460
(Hunter sighs)

2249
01:23:36,462 --> 01:23:41,635
Sam, I have realized
over the last few years...

2250
01:23:43,369 --> 01:23:45,469
...that I have made
a big mistake in my life.

2251
01:23:45,471 --> 01:23:47,607
What, like cheating on my mom?

2252
01:23:48,774 --> 01:23:50,674
Well, no. Marrying your mom.

2253
01:23:50,676 --> 01:23:52,076
But no, that...
that wasn't a mistake,

2254
01:23:52,078 --> 01:23:54,377
because then I wouldn't
have had you.

2255
01:23:54,379 --> 01:23:56,112
(stammers)

2256
01:23:56,114 --> 01:24:01,684
I've made lots of mistakes,
but th-the big mistake...

2257
01:24:01,686 --> 01:24:07,457
is that I let what happened
between your mom and I

2258
01:24:07,459 --> 01:24:10,462
get in the way
of our relationship.

2259
01:24:14,065 --> 01:24:15,601
I'm sorry.

2260
01:24:17,136 --> 01:24:21,738
And I hope that we
can start over and...

2261
01:24:21,740 --> 01:24:25,442
build up our relationship again
because...

2262
01:24:25,444 --> 01:24:27,047
you're my only kid.

2263
01:24:28,814 --> 01:24:30,413
And I'm your only dad.

2264
01:24:30,415 --> 01:24:31,681
Well, Frank is...

2265
01:24:31,683 --> 01:24:32,950
Fuck Frank.

2266
01:24:32,952 --> 01:24:33,953
(chuckles)

2267
01:24:36,721 --> 01:24:38,654
Frank's fine.

2268
01:24:38,656 --> 01:24:42,626
Dad, can I tell you
something now?

2269
01:24:42,628 --> 01:24:43,693
Yes.

2270
01:24:43,695 --> 01:24:45,062
Yes, yes, yes, anything.

2271
01:24:45,064 --> 01:24:47,033
I'm a lesbian.

2272
01:24:53,506 --> 01:24:55,040
(quietly):
Give me your hand.

2273
01:24:57,176 --> 01:24:58,709
What does your mom think?

2274
01:24:58,711 --> 01:24:59,779
She doesn't know.

2275
01:25:04,616 --> 01:25:06,683
You told me
before you told your mom?

2276
01:25:06,685 --> 01:25:09,051
- Yeah.
- (crying): That's big news.

2277
01:25:09,053 --> 01:25:11,421
She doesn't know?

2278
01:25:11,423 --> 01:25:13,489
- You didn't tell Frank?
- No.

2279
01:25:13,491 --> 01:25:15,829
(Hunter sobbing)

2280
01:25:23,202 --> 01:25:24,768
(sighs, sniffs)

2281
01:25:24,770 --> 01:25:26,836
Okay. Over.

2282
01:25:26,838 --> 01:25:28,906
(crying):
Crying is over.

2283
01:25:28,908 --> 01:25:30,107
What do your girlfriends think?

2284
01:25:30,109 --> 01:25:31,942
No, I'm too nervous.
I can't tell them.

2285
01:25:31,944 --> 01:25:34,010
You're nervous
to tell Kayla and Julie?

2286
01:25:34,012 --> 01:25:37,581
It's just... I don't want
to lose my two best friends.

2287
01:25:37,583 --> 01:25:39,750
This is the stuff you tell
the people you care about.

2288
01:25:39,752 --> 01:25:42,653
You think they're not gonna
support you because you're gay?

2289
01:25:42,655 --> 01:25:45,889
They would support you
if you were a vampire.

2290
01:25:45,891 --> 01:25:47,925
They would support you more.

2291
01:25:47,927 --> 01:25:50,193
- With all the <i>Twilight</i> shit.
- (Sam laughs)

2292
01:25:50,195 --> 01:25:52,862
- Do we still like <i>Twilight?</i>
- Definitely not.

2293
01:25:52,864 --> 01:25:54,931
(laughing):
No, no.

2294
01:25:54,933 --> 01:25:56,636
Oh, God.

2295
01:25:57,903 --> 01:25:59,937
Thanks for showing up.

2296
01:25:59,939 --> 01:26:01,037
Really.

2297
01:26:01,039 --> 01:26:03,974
But you should probably leave

2298
01:26:03,976 --> 01:26:06,777
because it's insane
that you even came here

2299
01:26:06,779 --> 01:26:09,045
in the first place.

2300
01:26:09,047 --> 01:26:10,980
I'd love to get
a picture with you.

2301
01:26:10,982 --> 01:26:12,648
Yeah.

2302
01:26:12,650 --> 01:26:14,684
Great. Okay.

2303
01:26:14,686 --> 01:26:16,252
Just gonna stand on this.

2304
01:26:16,254 --> 01:26:18,688
Yeah, you know...
you know the drill. Come on.

2305
01:26:18,690 --> 01:26:20,189
Come on. Here we go.

2306
01:26:20,191 --> 01:26:22,428
Gotta turn it around here.

2307
01:26:25,698 --> 01:26:27,531
Dad, you're not taking it.

2308
01:26:27,533 --> 01:26:28,802
It's...

2309
01:26:30,668 --> 01:26:33,135
What?

2310
01:26:33,137 --> 01:26:35,772
I'll remember this.

2311
01:26:35,774 --> 01:26:37,139
Come on.

2312
01:26:37,141 --> 01:26:38,908
Oh, my God.

2313
01:26:38,910 --> 01:26:40,644
HUNTER:
What's up, dawg?

2314
01:26:40,646 --> 01:26:43,013
So, I just, uh...

2315
01:26:43,015 --> 01:26:45,549
parented the shit out of Sam.

2316
01:26:45,552 --> 01:26:47,216
And I feel, uh...

2317
01:26:47,218 --> 01:26:49,286
oh, God, like, uh...

2318
01:26:49,288 --> 01:26:51,188
pride, I think.

2319
01:26:51,190 --> 01:26:52,688
- That's it.
- It's new.

2320
01:26:52,690 --> 01:26:54,023
Good for you, man.

2321
01:26:54,025 --> 01:26:55,157
Thanks.

2322
01:26:55,159 --> 01:26:56,225
Well done, my friend.

2323
01:26:56,227 --> 01:26:57,661
- Thank you.
- Well done.

2324
01:26:57,663 --> 01:26:59,129
How'd it go with Kayla?

2325
01:26:59,131 --> 01:27:00,831
Put Connor through a wall.

2326
01:27:00,833 --> 01:27:02,599
Are you serious?

2327
01:27:02,601 --> 01:27:04,535
(chuckling):
Yeah. He's okay.

2328
01:27:04,537 --> 01:27:05,969
Yeah, he's lighter
than I thought.

2329
01:27:05,971 --> 01:27:07,136
(both laughing)

2330
01:27:07,138 --> 01:27:08,772
Hey.

2331
01:27:08,774 --> 01:27:09,939
Hi.

2332
01:27:09,941 --> 01:27:12,576
So, Julie's, um...

2333
01:27:12,578 --> 01:27:14,044
Julie's having sex right now.

2334
01:27:14,046 --> 01:27:16,580
- Okay. And sit down.
- Wowie.

2335
01:27:16,582 --> 01:27:17,947
Yeah.

2336
01:27:17,949 --> 01:27:19,849
But it's good.
It's fine, right?

2337
01:27:19,851 --> 01:27:21,751
I mean, you have to do that
eventually.

2338
01:27:21,753 --> 01:27:22,920
Right?

2339
01:27:22,922 --> 01:27:24,587
- Are you good?
- Yeah.

2340
01:27:24,589 --> 01:27:27,124
They seem like they really like
each other, and that's nice.

2341
01:27:27,126 --> 01:27:30,727
That's a good thing, but it's
just a little, you know, scary,

2342
01:27:30,729 --> 01:27:33,630
because what if he doesn't know
how to do it right?

2343
01:27:33,632 --> 01:27:36,133
You know, like, what if he
doesn't know where to put it?

2344
01:27:36,135 --> 01:27:37,934
But he knows, right?
Should I go back up there?

2345
01:27:37,936 --> 01:27:39,836
- No. No, no, no, no.
- No, no, he'll figure it out.

2346
01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:41,004
- No, no.
- It's one or the other.

2347
01:27:41,006 --> 01:27:43,040
Nope. You stay right here.

2348
01:27:43,042 --> 01:27:45,578
Do you want to have
a drink right now?

2349
01:27:46,811 --> 01:27:48,644
You mean, like, hang out?

2350
01:27:48,646 --> 01:27:49,645
Yeah.

2351
01:27:49,647 --> 01:27:52,014
Yes, I do.

2352
01:27:52,016 --> 01:27:53,884
I'm in. I'm definitely in.

2353
01:27:53,886 --> 01:27:56,752
Um, we will be having
some shots of alcohol, please.

2354
01:27:56,754 --> 01:27:57,853
Yes, we will.

2355
01:27:57,855 --> 01:27:58,889
This is crazy.

2356
01:27:58,891 --> 01:28:00,290
(all laughing)

2357
01:28:00,292 --> 01:28:01,925
- This is...
- Well, I'm going to, uh...

2358
01:28:01,927 --> 01:28:05,795
let you guys have your fun,
and I will, uh...

2359
01:28:05,797 --> 01:28:07,933
I-I will see you guys around.

2360
01:28:12,870 --> 01:28:14,606
Hey!

2361
01:28:16,007 --> 01:28:17,644
You, too.

2362
01:28:19,110 --> 01:28:20,844
Yeah.

2363
01:28:20,846 --> 01:28:22,345
Right.

2364
01:28:22,347 --> 01:28:24,147
Fuck yeah.

2365
01:28:24,149 --> 01:28:26,116
- Piña colada.
- (Lisa laughs)

2366
01:28:26,118 --> 01:28:27,687
Just get him a shot.

2367
01:28:28,753 --> 01:28:30,286
LISA:
Cheers.

2368
01:28:30,288 --> 01:28:31,721
What a night, guys.

2369
01:28:31,723 --> 01:28:33,191
HUNTER:
That's beautiful.

2370
01:28:35,894 --> 01:28:38,961
So, I don't think the kid
at the lake house

2371
01:28:38,963 --> 01:28:40,663
was actually butt-chugging.

2372
01:28:40,665 --> 01:28:41,898
- LISA: Definitely.
- HUNTER: Yeah.

2373
01:28:41,900 --> 01:28:43,233
- MITCHELL: What?
- Yep. - Yeah.

2374
01:28:43,235 --> 01:28:45,868
And so he threw me
through a table, uh...

2375
01:28:45,870 --> 01:28:47,170
- KAYLA: I'm so sorry.
- CONNOR: No, it was cool.

2376
01:28:47,172 --> 01:28:49,171
I, like... I kind of feel fine.

2377
01:28:49,173 --> 01:28:51,108
- All right, see you.
- It's cool. - See you.

2378
01:28:51,110 --> 01:28:52,309
CONNOR:
Hey, guys.

2379
01:28:52,311 --> 01:28:53,676
Austin, uh, let's go

2380
01:28:53,678 --> 01:28:54,810
- get a drink, man.
- Yeah, sure.

2381
01:28:54,812 --> 01:28:56,013
KAYLA:
Want a fry?

2382
01:28:56,015 --> 01:28:58,017
So badly. (laughs)

2383
01:28:59,685 --> 01:29:01,385
SAM:
Can I have a fry, too?

2384
01:29:01,387 --> 01:29:03,286
- Yeah.
- Yes.

2385
01:29:03,288 --> 01:29:04,321
(laughing)

2386
01:29:04,323 --> 01:29:05,788
So...

2387
01:29:05,790 --> 01:29:08,291
I... I couldn't
go through with it.

2388
01:29:08,293 --> 01:29:11,297
Yes, I didn't. No.

2389
01:29:12,364 --> 01:29:13,663
(Sam gasps)

2390
01:29:13,665 --> 01:29:15,197
(all laughing)

2391
01:29:15,199 --> 01:29:16,700
Holy shit.

2392
01:29:16,702 --> 01:29:18,234
You're a woman amongst girls.

2393
01:29:18,236 --> 01:29:19,969
- Julie. - Yeah.
- Congratu-fuck-ulations.

2394
01:29:19,971 --> 01:29:22,272
- Thank you. Thank you.
- How was it?

2395
01:29:22,274 --> 01:29:23,739
Honestly,
it was a little painful,

2396
01:29:23,741 --> 01:29:26,009
kind of fast
and kind of awkward,

2397
01:29:26,011 --> 01:29:27,443
but absolutely perfect.

2398
01:29:27,445 --> 01:29:28,911
Aw!

2399
01:29:28,913 --> 01:29:29,912
(all laugh)

2400
01:29:29,914 --> 01:29:31,681
You guys, so much...

2401
01:29:31,683 --> 01:29:33,282
so much went down tonight.

2402
01:29:33,284 --> 01:29:34,283
SAM:
I know.

2403
01:29:34,285 --> 01:29:36,385
Including Connor.

2404
01:29:36,387 --> 01:29:38,388
- No.
- KAYLA: Let's just say...

2405
01:29:38,390 --> 01:29:40,724
The Chef went out to eat...

2406
01:29:40,726 --> 01:29:42,192
my pussy.

2407
01:29:42,194 --> 01:29:43,426
(all laughing)

2408
01:29:43,428 --> 01:29:44,861
It was good.

2409
01:29:44,863 --> 01:29:46,295
CHAD (over speakers):
Ba-ba-ba!

2410
01:29:46,297 --> 01:29:48,297
- DJ Chad.
- Is that Chad?

2411
01:29:48,299 --> 01:29:51,001
- That's Chad. Chad!
- That's Chad.

2412
01:29:51,003 --> 01:29:52,736
- CHAD: ♪ Scream my name ♪
- Yes, Chad!

2413
01:29:52,738 --> 01:29:54,737
Holy shit. Fuck yeah, Chad!

2414
01:29:54,739 --> 01:29:56,305
♪ I love me,
gonna love myself ♪

2415
01:29:56,307 --> 01:29:59,209
♪ No, I don't need
anybody else, hey ♪

2416
01:29:59,211 --> 01:30:01,778
♪ Gonna love myself,
no, I don't need anybody else ♪

2417
01:30:01,780 --> 01:30:04,014
♪ I love me,
can't help myself ♪

2418
01:30:04,016 --> 01:30:05,916
♪ No, I don't need
anybody else ♪

2419
01:30:05,918 --> 01:30:09,051
♪ Any time, day or night... ♪

2420
01:30:09,053 --> 01:30:11,254
Guys, I got to tell you
something.

2421
01:30:11,256 --> 01:30:13,122
Okay, okay.

2422
01:30:13,124 --> 01:30:16,126
(indistinct whispering)

2423
01:30:16,128 --> 01:30:17,493
Really?

2424
01:30:17,495 --> 01:30:18,828
- Yeah.
- Wait, you are?

2425
01:30:18,830 --> 01:30:20,496
Yeah.

2426
01:30:20,498 --> 01:30:22,131
I love you.

2427
01:30:22,133 --> 01:30:23,767
Forever.

2428
01:30:23,769 --> 01:30:25,367
And you, too.

2429
01:30:25,369 --> 01:30:27,370
Oh, my God!

2430
01:30:27,372 --> 01:30:29,238
- I love you. Hold on.
- Sam, come here, you.

2431
01:30:29,240 --> 01:30:30,773
Excuse me.

2432
01:30:30,775 --> 01:30:32,242
I can't believe
you didn't tell us.

2433
01:30:32,244 --> 01:30:33,477
Yay!

2434
01:30:33,479 --> 01:30:35,414
(Kayla imitates
trumpet fanfare)

2435
01:30:37,382 --> 01:30:38,814
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.

2436
01:30:38,816 --> 01:30:40,216
- Hey.
- Hi.

2437
01:30:40,218 --> 01:30:42,118
Oh.

2438
01:30:42,120 --> 01:30:44,990
Uh, Julie, I think we got
something over here.

2439
01:30:46,792 --> 01:30:48,194
Dope cape.

2440
01:30:49,895 --> 01:30:51,294
(chuckles)

2441
01:30:51,296 --> 01:30:53,295
And I'm not...

2442
01:30:53,297 --> 01:30:54,933
misreading things.

2443
01:30:57,802 --> 01:31:01,804
♪ I love me, gonna love myself,
no, I don't need anybody else ♪

2444
01:31:01,806 --> 01:31:03,773
♪ Hey, gonna love myself ♪

2445
01:31:03,775 --> 01:31:05,776
♪ No, I don't need
anybody else ♪

2446
01:31:05,778 --> 01:31:07,810
♪ I love me,
can't help myself ♪

2447
01:31:07,812 --> 01:31:09,845
♪ No, I don't need
anybody else ♪

2448
01:31:09,847 --> 01:31:12,549
♪ Any time, day or night ♪

2449
01:31:12,552 --> 01:31:15,352
♪ I love me,
gonna love myself ♪

2450
01:31:15,354 --> 01:31:17,457
♪ No, I don't need
anybody else... ♪

2451
01:31:19,824 --> 01:31:22,224
So you'll call me every day
till you get to L.A., right?

2452
01:31:22,226 --> 01:31:23,827
Yeah, and then, like,
every day after that.

2453
01:31:23,829 --> 01:31:24,961
Okay.

2454
01:31:24,963 --> 01:31:26,196
I'm gonna miss you so much.

2455
01:31:26,198 --> 01:31:28,098
You're gonna be okay, though.

2456
01:31:28,100 --> 01:31:29,431
Are you gonna be okay?

2457
01:31:29,433 --> 01:31:30,867
Yeah, I'm fine.

2458
01:31:30,869 --> 01:31:33,002
It's the weirdest thing
because...

2459
01:31:33,004 --> 01:31:37,974
I have been worried
about this day for 18 years,

2460
01:31:37,976 --> 01:31:41,443
and then I wake up
this morning, and...

2461
01:31:41,445 --> 01:31:43,380
(chuckles) nothing.

2462
01:31:43,382 --> 01:31:45,148
Like, I don't feel
emotional at all.

2463
01:31:45,150 --> 01:31:47,349
I just feel, like...

2464
01:31:47,351 --> 01:31:49,286
- It's so bizarre.
- Mm-hmm.

2465
01:31:49,288 --> 01:31:50,886
What is that?

2466
01:31:50,888 --> 01:31:52,154
It's, like, splashing on me.

2467
01:31:52,156 --> 01:31:53,956
I know.
Isn't that so strange?

2468
01:31:53,958 --> 01:31:55,093
Yeah.

2469
01:31:57,195 --> 01:31:58,530
I love you, Mom.

2470
01:31:59,832 --> 01:32:01,133
I love you.

2471
01:32:03,267 --> 01:32:04,600
No, I have money. I...

2472
01:32:04,602 --> 01:32:06,368
Lisa, tell him
I can afford br...

2473
01:32:06,370 --> 01:32:09,139
Hmm. Sorry. Sorry.

2474
01:32:09,141 --> 01:32:11,174
- KAYLA: All right, come on.
- (horn honks)

2475
01:32:11,176 --> 01:32:13,042
Let's get this road trip
started!

2476
01:32:13,044 --> 01:32:14,477
- SAM: We're waiting for you!
- I love you.

2477
01:32:14,479 --> 01:32:16,580
- Bye.
- Okay.

2478
01:32:16,582 --> 01:32:18,785
Oh, hold on.
Let me take a video.

2479
01:32:22,988 --> 01:32:24,923
(squeals, laughs)

2480
01:32:29,227 --> 01:32:31,461
- I love you.
- LISA: I love you.

2481
01:32:31,463 --> 01:32:33,162
Bye, Mom.

2482
01:32:33,164 --> 01:32:34,563
- HUNTER: I love you.
- SAM: Okay, bye.

2483
01:32:34,565 --> 01:32:36,131
- Mwah!
- KAYLA: See you.

2484
01:32:36,133 --> 01:32:38,033
Drop Julie off in Cali,
and then you and Kayla

2485
01:32:38,035 --> 01:32:39,402
- come right back home.
- That's a, a big maybe.

2486
01:32:39,404 --> 01:32:40,970
- And text, please. Please.
- JULIE: Hey.

2487
01:32:40,972 --> 01:32:42,438
Take care of my mom,
you two, okay?

2488
01:32:42,440 --> 01:32:44,174
- HUNTER: We will. All right.
- CONNOR: Later, big guy.

2489
01:32:44,176 --> 01:32:46,076
- Bye, Dad.
- I'm going to college! - Bye!

2490
01:32:46,078 --> 01:32:47,611
MITCHELL: Drive careful, young
man. That's precious cargo.

2491
01:32:47,613 --> 01:32:49,373
- (Kayla and Sam whooping)
- JULIE: Love you!

2492
01:32:50,449 --> 01:32:52,181
- Aw.
- Come on.

2493
01:32:52,183 --> 01:32:53,549
- Guys. - Come on.
- LISA: We did it.

2494
01:32:53,552 --> 01:32:55,885
We did it. We did it.

2495
01:32:55,887 --> 01:32:57,086
- We parented.
- (Lisa sighs)

2496
01:32:57,088 --> 01:32:58,921
- We did it.
- We did it.

2497
01:32:58,923 --> 01:33:00,389
(Lisa sighs)

2498
01:33:00,391 --> 01:33:03,660
- (cell phone chiming)
- Oh, it's Julie.

2499
01:33:03,662 --> 01:33:06,161
Oh, I must have been
accidentally added to the...

2500
01:33:06,163 --> 01:33:07,898
the group conversation.

2501
01:33:07,900 --> 01:33:09,666
- Oh, well, should probably leave.
- What's, uh...

2502
01:33:09,668 --> 01:33:11,434
"Can't-can't believe
we're on our own now."

2503
01:33:11,436 --> 01:33:12,602
- (chuckles)
- Aw, that's sweet. - Yeah.

2504
01:33:12,604 --> 01:33:14,437
"We're gonna get lit af."

2505
01:33:14,439 --> 01:33:16,139
"Lit A.F."

2506
01:33:16,141 --> 01:33:18,108
- That's not great.
- (cell phone chimes)

2507
01:33:18,110 --> 01:33:19,943
No, it's... they're gonna get
literature. African literature.

2508
01:33:19,945 --> 01:33:21,577
You think that's
what "lit A.F." means?

2509
01:33:21,579 --> 01:33:23,345
You think they're talking
to each other about, like...

2510
01:33:23,347 --> 01:33:25,081
- "Lit A.F."
- "Can The Chef get us..."

2511
01:33:25,083 --> 01:33:26,282
MITCHELL:
Trees? What the hell's trees?

2512
01:33:26,284 --> 01:33:28,018
HUNTER: Trees mean weed.
I told you that.

2513
01:33:28,020 --> 01:33:29,653
- Mushrooms, pills.
- MITCHELL: No, the pills are...

2514
01:33:29,655 --> 01:33:31,020
Kayla's allergy.
That's Claritin.

2515
01:33:31,022 --> 01:33:32,087
It's not Claritin. Look.

2516
01:33:32,089 --> 01:33:33,255
Snowflakes. That's blow.

2517
01:33:33,257 --> 01:33:34,991
"#NoParentsNoRules.

2518
01:33:34,993 --> 01:33:38,528
# MadDrugs.
# NoCondoms."

2519
01:33:38,530 --> 01:33:40,229
Why would they hashtag that?

2520
01:33:40,231 --> 01:33:42,331
Wait, I'm sorry. Is that
a needle and an eggplant?

2521
01:33:42,333 --> 01:33:45,635
What, are they gonna inject
heroin into some guy's dick?

2522
01:33:45,637 --> 01:33:46,969
- Let's go.
- Let's get in the car.

2523
01:33:46,971 --> 01:33:48,104
- I'll drive.
- I'm sitting behind you.

2524
01:33:48,106 --> 01:33:50,139
- (cell phone chiming)
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

2525
01:33:50,141 --> 01:33:51,241
(high-pitched voice):
We're just messing with you.

2526
01:33:51,243 --> 01:33:52,243
Ha-ha!

2527
01:33:53,544 --> 01:33:55,545
"We love you guys.
Don't worry."

2528
01:33:55,547 --> 01:33:57,046
(all laughing)

2529
01:33:57,048 --> 01:34:00,116
You guys were so pranked!
I was in on it.

2530
01:34:00,118 --> 01:34:01,984
- You didn't know.
- No, no, I did. I didn't know it was

2531
01:34:01,986 --> 01:34:03,519
coming right now. That's why
I kind of sold it so well.

2532
01:34:03,521 --> 01:34:04,720
But it doesn't matter.

2533
01:34:04,722 --> 01:34:07,256
But you guys were like,
"Holy shit!"

2534
01:34:07,258 --> 01:34:08,590
- Yeah.
- Whew.

2535
01:34:08,592 --> 01:34:11,661
♪ I do my hair toss,
check my nails ♪

2536
01:34:11,663 --> 01:34:14,563
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as hell ♪

2537
01:34:14,565 --> 01:34:16,599
♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪

2538
01:34:16,601 --> 01:34:18,201
♪ Baby, how you feelin'? ♪

2539
01:34:18,203 --> 01:34:20,603
♪ Feelin' good as hell... ♪

2540
01:34:20,605 --> 01:34:22,540
("Sweet Love" by Anita Baker
playing)

2541
01:34:26,410 --> 01:34:28,178
Damn it, Mitchell.

2542
01:34:28,180 --> 01:34:29,582
Marco.

2543
01:34:30,982 --> 01:34:32,047
Polo.

2544
01:34:32,049 --> 01:34:33,683
I...

2545
01:34:33,685 --> 01:34:35,620
Mitchell,
are you getting a snack?

2546
01:34:37,521 --> 01:34:39,421
I'm so glad we can
do stuff like this

2547
01:34:39,423 --> 01:34:40,689
now that Kayla's in college.
(chuckles)

2548
01:34:40,691 --> 01:34:43,225
I have no idea where you are.

2549
01:34:43,227 --> 01:34:45,627
I'm gonna do so much stuff
to you when I find you.

2550
01:34:45,629 --> 01:34:47,563
- Oh, oh.
- Marco.

2551
01:34:47,565 --> 01:34:49,032
- Polo.
- Ah, ah.

2552
01:34:49,034 --> 01:34:50,300
- Polo!
- (gasps, laughs)

2553
01:34:50,302 --> 01:34:51,667
I can't believe you!
It took forever!

2554
01:34:51,669 --> 01:34:53,569
I spent so much time
on the stairs.

2555
01:34:53,571 --> 01:34:55,270
- We're doing this.
- We're, like, totally doing it.

2556
01:34:55,272 --> 01:34:56,773
- I know. It's hot.
- Let's just get crazy.

2557
01:34:56,775 --> 01:34:57,773
- (whoops)
- I don't know.

2558
01:34:57,775 --> 01:34:59,309
I want you to grab my balls,

2559
01:34:59,311 --> 01:35:01,044
like Ron likes it,
like, uh... like, hard.

2560
01:35:01,046 --> 01:35:02,077
(screams)

2561
01:35:02,079 --> 01:35:03,679
(both scream)

2562
01:35:03,681 --> 01:35:05,614
♪ Ooh, child,
tired of the bullshit ♪

2563
01:35:05,616 --> 01:35:07,384
♪ Go on, dust
your shoulders off ♪

2564
01:35:07,386 --> 01:35:09,051
♪ Keep it moving ♪

2565
01:35:09,053 --> 01:35:11,121
♪ Yes, Lord, trying
to get some new shit ♪

2566
01:35:11,123 --> 01:35:13,456
♪ In there, swimwear,
going to the pool shit ♪

2567
01:35:13,458 --> 01:35:15,392
♪ Come now,
come dry your eyes ♪

2568
01:35:15,394 --> 01:35:17,727
♪ You know you a star,
you can touch the sky ♪

2569
01:35:17,729 --> 01:35:20,462
♪ I know that it's hard,
but you have to try ♪

2570
01:35:20,464 --> 01:35:23,465
♪ If you need advice,
let me simplify ♪

2571
01:35:23,467 --> 01:35:28,337
♪ If he don't love you
anymore ♪

2572
01:35:28,339 --> 01:35:32,608
♪ Just walk your fine ass
out the door ♪

2573
01:35:32,610 --> 01:35:35,812
♪ I do my hair toss,
check my nails ♪

2574
01:35:35,814 --> 01:35:38,547
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as hell ♪

2575
01:35:38,549 --> 01:35:41,117
♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪

2576
01:35:41,119 --> 01:35:44,254
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as hell ♪

2577
01:35:44,256 --> 01:35:46,089
♪ Feelin' good as hell ♪

2578
01:35:46,091 --> 01:35:47,223
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?

2579
01:35:47,225 --> 01:35:48,691
♪ Feelin' good as hell ♪

2580
01:35:48,693 --> 01:35:50,760
♪ Whoo, girl,
need to kick off your shoes ♪

2581
01:35:50,762 --> 01:35:53,263
♪ Gotta take a deep breath,
time to focus on you ♪

2582
01:35:53,265 --> 01:35:55,697
♪ All the big fights, long
nights that you been through ♪

2583
01:35:55,699 --> 01:35:58,535
♪ I got a bottle of tequila
I've been saving for you ♪

2584
01:35:58,537 --> 01:36:00,469
♪ Boss up
and change your life ♪

2585
01:36:00,471 --> 01:36:02,772
♪ You can have it all,
no sacrifice ♪

2586
01:36:02,774 --> 01:36:05,241
♪ I know he did you wrong,
we can make it right ♪

2587
01:36:05,243 --> 01:36:08,510
♪ So go and let it all
hang out tonight ♪

2588
01:36:08,512 --> 01:36:13,282
♪ 'Cause he don't love you
anymore ♪

2589
01:36:13,284 --> 01:36:17,487
♪ So walk your fine ass
out the door ♪

2590
01:36:17,489 --> 01:36:21,090
♪ And do your hair toss,
check my nails ♪

2591
01:36:21,092 --> 01:36:23,492
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as hell ♪

2592
01:36:23,494 --> 01:36:25,361
♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪

2593
01:36:25,363 --> 01:36:27,296
♪ Baby, how you feelin'? ♪

2594
01:36:27,298 --> 01:36:29,131
- ♪ Feelin' good as hell ♪
- ♪ Shine on tonight ♪

2595
01:36:29,133 --> 01:36:30,867
♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪

2596
01:36:30,869 --> 01:36:33,635
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as hell ♪

2597
01:36:33,637 --> 01:36:35,839
♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪

2598
01:36:35,841 --> 01:36:39,311
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as hell ♪

2599
01:36:39,313 --> 01:36:40,676
Subtitles by <font color="#ff0000">explosiveskull</font>
Resync by <font color="#00ffff">GoldenBeard</font>

2600
01:36:40,678 --> 01:36:43,415
♪ Mmm, yeah ♪

2601
01:36:44,583 --> 01:36:46,883
♪ All right ♪

2602
01:36:46,885 --> 01:36:48,484
♪ Listen ♪

2603
01:36:48,486 --> 01:36:53,422
♪ If he don't love you
anymore ♪

2604
01:36:53,424 --> 01:36:59,696
♪ Then walk your fine ass
out the door ♪

2605
01:36:59,698 --> 01:37:03,532
♪ And do your hair toss,
check my nails ♪

2606
01:37:03,534 --> 01:37:05,734
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as hell ♪

2607
01:37:05,736 --> 01:37:08,138
- ♪ Whoo-hoo... ♪
- ♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪

2608
01:37:08,140 --> 01:37:09,872
♪ Baby, how you feelin'? ♪

2609
01:37:09,874 --> 01:37:11,707
- ♪ Feelin' good as hell ♪
- ♪ Shine on tonight ♪

2610
01:37:11,709 --> 01:37:13,643
♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪

2611
01:37:13,645 --> 01:37:16,379
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as hell ♪

2612
01:37:16,381 --> 01:37:18,547
♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪

2613
01:37:18,549 --> 01:37:21,518
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as hell ♪

2614
01:37:21,520 --> 01:37:23,486
♪ Feelin' good as hell ♪

2615
01:37:23,488 --> 01:37:24,821
♪ Baby, how you feelin'? ♪

2616
01:37:24,823 --> 01:37:27,389
♪ Feelin' good as hell. ♪

2617
01:37:27,391 --> 01:37:29,327
♪ ♪

2618
01:37:59,423 --> 01:38:01,359
♪ ♪

2619
01:38:31,455 --> 01:38:33,391
♪ ♪

2620
01:39:03,488 --> 01:39:05,423
♪ ♪

2621
01:39:35,520 --> 01:39:37,455
♪ ♪

2622
01:40:07,552 --> 01:40:09,488
♪ ♪

2623
01:40:39,583 --> 01:40:41,519
♪ ♪

2624
01:41:11,615 --> 01:41:13,552
♪ ♪

2625
01:41:43,647 --> 01:41:45,583
♪ ♪

2626
01:41:52,457 --> 01:41:54,392
(music ends)