[cheering, applause]
[Baines] Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you. Thank you very much!
Thank you very...
Thank you, so incredibly grateful to be here.
Thank you very much.
[crowd chanting] Baines! Baines! Baines!
[rhythmic clapping]
[Baines] God bless America!
[crowd] Baines! Baines! Baines!
Thank you very, very much!
[Michael] History has proven that a great leader can change the world.
For better or for worse.
Once upon a time, in the not-too-distant future,
America was at war with itself.
Our political parties had fallen into crisis.
An identity crisis.
And where there is war,
there are soldiers.
[man grunting]
And where there are soldiers,
there are casualties.
Mary Maple was once the Magnolia Queen.
Yes, it's me.
Thirty years and 30 pounds ago. [laughs]
- Michael. - Yes.
Tell me about yourself, what's your background?
Where'd you go to school?
I graduated from GW.
Hmm. What did you major in?
Political Science with a minor in Journalism.
What kind of grades?
Graduated with honors.
Cum laude.
My goodness.
- Sugar? - Oh, yes please.
[Michael] Mary Maple.
A very good person to know in Washington.
So, how can I help you, Michael?
Well, it's pretty clear that Senator Baines
is gonna run for president.
If I can be anywhere near that, I mean...
I could learn a lot from the man.
Well, John is a good friend.
- Nothing is set in stone, of course. - No, no, of course.
Rob Reynolds is unofficially running the campaign.
I have heard of him, although I haven't made his acquaintance.
Rob is also a good friend.
He's the best at what he does.
Yes, he is.
Consider yourself invited to the Maple Foundation event,
where my good friend John Boland Baines is our guest speaker.
I'll even introduce you to Rob Reynolds myself.
I'd very much appreciate that, Mrs. Maple.
Call me Mary.
Oh! My goodness!
Oh! My! Oh, darlin'! Michael!
Darlin', I need you... I need you...
I need you to stop for a minute.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
[Mary sighs]
[sighs]
- Hey. - What?
Where'd you go? I'm in here.
[chuckles]
You know, I like you better without it.
You mean you don't like my wig?
No, no, no. I like your wig.
I mean, here.
Now.
I like you like this.
[sighs] You do?
Oh, sugar, you really are something.
[both chuckling]
[moaning]
Oh! Oh!
[moaning loudly]
[Michael] A little over a year ago, at a lunch counter,
my boss, Senator Lester Garret,
told me he had a pain in his abdomen.
Less than two months later, Lester died of pancreatic cancer.
I'd been out of work ever since.
I had to make something happen.
I was on borrowed time in a borrowed SUV.
That Judge Karl?
How did you get this?
Callie, Judge Karl has a wife and kids.
Precisely.
And he's been a judicial activist
against same-sex marriage for his entire career.
Some of his legal language was actually in DOMA, for Christ's sakes.
I mean, he's a hypocrite of the highest order.
[Michael] Callie and I met when we were both interning for Lester.
Yeah, but, Callie...
wife and kids.
Yeah, you're right, I can't do that to the wife and kids.
[Michael] She's my roommate and my best friend. But lately...
I'll blackmail him.
How much do you think we would get?
Not much, honestly.
[scoffs]
[Michael] She had quite a collection going.
Most of those guys weren't exactly big players, though.
The judge tape...
This was different.
You know, in this little box...
is the real DC.
Yeah, and it's going to stay in that box.
For a rainy day.
Speaking of rainy days...
umm, how we doing on rent?
[sighs] 'Cause, uh, that's a final notice.
Yeah, we're probably going to have to bust out the umbrellas.
Really?
[clears throat]
That was a gift from Tanya.
Oh, how nice of her.
Did you ever consider selling the coke?
Michael, I can't sell a gift.
We have to pay rent.
I know.
[sighs] Whatever are we to do?
[Michael] This is my friend Kevin Bidwell,
noted political journalist for a noted political newspaper
whose circulation was way down.
Who you fuckin'? [laughs]
[Michael] Kevin Bidwell,
former college roommate who lived vicariously through me.
I wanna work for John Baines.
I want a rim job from Ann Coulter,
but that doesn't mean it's gonna happen.
[Michael] It was like college had never ended for Kevin.
All right, so what is it you actually want, Michael?
I mean, let's say you...
you get the job, and Baines became president?
Where do you see yourself? Humor me.
I see myself running for Congress.
And I see myself winning.
I'm officially humored.
You think I'm kidding.
Congress... I-- Are you even a resident of any state?
Where's the Podunk town you come from?
It's not about where I'm from, it's where I'm going.
[laughing]
That should be your campaign slogan.
Rob Reynolds will never take you seriously.
What if I told you...
that Rob Reynolds is going to have to take me seriously.
If it were me...
I'd go to Reynolds like I'm doing him a favor.
Give him what I have, protect my sources...
Does Callie have anything to do with this?
All right, two things,
and I want you to listen to me, very carefully.
Do not let Reynolds know
that you want to run for Congress,
or anything else, for that matter.
- And? - And...
just be careful.
These aren't Boy Scouts you're dealing with.
[Michael] The Maple Foundation fundraiser.
An annual event to raise money for Mary's various causes.
In this case, the cause was the United Party.
Excuse me, sir.
[Michael] Rob Reynolds.
A wunderkind who had gotten his first congressman elected
before his 25th birthday.
His tactics: questioned.
His resolve: feared.
Rob Reynolds had started a new party
and Senator Baines was gonna be the face of it.
This is not about this year, it's not about this election,
- it's about the next elec... - Rob, darlin'.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
I wonder if you've met Michael Lawson.
Michael is... Well, Michael...
Uh, Michael would do anything to get onboard.
Oh, yeah, well, good luck, Michael.
Uh, Mary.
[sighs] Don't worry, darlin', I'll work on him.
[Michael] Well, Kevin had been right about one thing,
Reynolds was never going to take me seriously.
I had known that.
But Mary had kept her promise and gotten me the introduction.
The rest was up to me.
Lydia Bowman. New Year's Eve a couple years ago.
Senator Barr's party, you were Rob Reynolds's assistant.
Executive assistant. Of course, of course.
Michael.
Lawson, yeah, I know.
Lydia, I was wondering if maybe you...
- Oh, Michael, I'm here with someone. - I know.
I was wondering if maybe you'd give this to Mr. Reynolds for me.
Oh, I... I thought...
- Now I'm embarrassed. - No, don't be.
I knew you were here with someone.
My great misfortune.
I'll give this to Rob. Thank you.
- [applause] - [Mary] Ladies and gentlemen,
my dear friends,
I would like to welcome you to this party.
And when I say this party, I am not just talking about this event,
I am talking about a movement.
[all] Yes! [cheering]
Unlike that broken Grand Old Party...
[audience laughing]
...this party is United.
[man] Yeah! [cheering]
Without further ado,
I'm going to give you the man who's here to get this party started.
From the great state of Texas, Senator John Boland Baines!
[cheering]
Thank you! Thank you!
Let's get right to it, shall we?
What has happened to us?
When did we become so angry? So divided?
[Baines] Why has the voice of compromise become silent?
Don't let anyone in until the speech ends.
What does this mean? I wanted your attention.
You have it.
Yes, okay, I'm, uh... I'm...
[Baines] ...run by extortionists.
We can unite behind being... [audio muffles]
I'm in possession of a thumb drive.
On this drive is a video of a certain prominent judge.
Very close friend of the Senator's
and likely to end up on your short list for the Supreme Court.
In the video, this judge is...
How do I put this?
In plain English, please.
He's blowing a guy in a bathroom stall.
[Baines] We can do it, we can be united!
[audience cheering]
We have people who want to overthrow the government.
People who want to secede from the Union because things haven't gone their way.
- Well, that's just not American. - [audience members] No.
United we stand and divided...
we have failed.
Do you know how Bobby Kennedy was assassinated?
It was in a kitchen. A lot like this one.
A little nothing changed history.
A lot can be learned from that.
The United Party.
Sounds nice, doesn't it?
What do you want?
I want a job.
Sir.
- Look, I'm not asking you to... - Shh, shh, shh.
[Baines] We're not determined to tear down the machinery.
We believe that the interests of the individual
should be left to the people involved, not the government!
What if I told you I won't give you a job?
Hmm? What do you do then?
I hand the drive over to you.
As a friend.
A friend of mine?
A friend of the party.
[audience cheering]
[Baines] We believe in a free market,
but be prepared to act when it fails,
or when it is abused.
I believe that we can be against needless regulations
and yet not deny that our planet is warming and we must act.
I believe that we can be pro-business
and still not be held captive by the vested interests
of billionaires and corporations.
Welcome to the show, Michael.
We can be united!
United Party!
[crowd] Baines! Baines! Baines!
Thank you. Excuse me... Rob.
What'd you think of the speech?
Very moving, sir, very presidential.
Let's hope it goes as well when we make it official, huh?
Of course you will.
I have good news, Darcy's comin' home.
We'll have to throw a grand ol' welcome home party for her, won't we?
Yes, we will. Yes, we will.
Who is this?
Oh, uh, Senator, this is Michael Lawson.
He's gonna be working for us.
Fantastic!
Well, welcome aboard, Michael. Thank you, sir.
You're a good-looking kid, you know that?
[chuckles] Thank you, sir.
Isn't he?
Isn't he, Judith?
Uh, isn't who what?
Darling, I was just saying,
Michael Lawson here is coming to work for us.
I said he was a good-looking young man.
- Don't you think? - Yes.
And that is so important in a campaign.
I'm glad you're with us,
this campaign needs youth.
Thank you, sir.
Excuse me. Vonetta!
Senator Baines.
You were smart with me today.
Keep it up.
I want that flash drive.
[Michael] At times, life can be grand.
[blowing]
[exhales]
[indistinct]
[Michael] I had convinced myself that what I was about to do
was the best thing for both of us.
[hip-hop music playing, on headphones] [man rapping]
Well, if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck,
it's probably a judge blowing a guy in the bathroom stall. [chuckles]
- It's the only copy, I wiped it... - What?
It's the only copy.
I wiped the computer and the original sources...
How do I know it's not out there floating in the cloud somewhere
just waiting to be downloaded?
You don't. You just gotta trust me.
But I don't trust anyone.
- I don't follow. - There's nothing to follow.
The senator's daughter coming into town,
I'm gonna need you to go on over there and help out Judith.
Yeah, sure, absolutely. Uh, anything to help out.
Hey, is Callie Roland looking for a job?
Find out.
We'll pay her, she'll continue to do what she does best,
destroy bad people.
Everybody wins.
- [phone rings -And I paid your next six months' rent.
- Oh, I didn't ask you to... - Forget it. It's done.
Go talk to Lydia, I need to grab this.
Hey, hey! Mad Cash!
I was just listening to your latest hit.
Oh, man, it's a smash.
[hip-hop song playing] [man rapping]
[Michael] Wallace Pellum, aka Mad Cash, was a high school dropout
who parlayed early hip-hop success with mass crossover appeal.
By the age of 30,
the dapper entrepreneur was rumored to be worth close to a billion dollars.
So why should I want to get the vote out for your candidate?
[Michael] Rob Reynolds had plans for this new party.
And in his mind, Mad Cash would play a big part in it.
You going to church tomorrow?
Yes, I am.
You know I believe in God. Well, so am I.
Tomorrow could be the revolution, Wallace.
I mean, we have the real party, this time we get it right.
And the Latino vote too.
Good, my babies are half Latino.
Exactly! You see?
We're aligned.
Me, you, Baines, and the United Part
are gonna take back the right.
Yeah, well...
we may have your values,
but we still just niggers to you.
Well, you have to find your place in the party.
And you might as well be sitting with the big boys.
True that, my brother.
True that.
[Michael] Tanya and Callie were...
Oh, let's just say they were tight.
Really? No one's gonna sit up front with me?
Let's just hit the road, Jack.
Ooh! You looking real good, Mike.
Thank you, Tanya.
[Tanya] You want a bump? A bump?
- Yes! - No, no, I'm all right.
[Michael] Tanya had come to DC from Pennsylvania.
[sniffs] She wanted to be a serious television journalist.
So far, it hadn't worked out.
Hey, Tanya... [Callie] No!
- You can't borrow the SUV again... - Yes.
You can borrow my SUV for as long as you want, baby!
Thank you, Tanya. [Callie] Why are you so nice?
'Cause I love him.
No, you don't. I do.
[Michael] Like I said, they were... tight.
[Judith] I like the cut glass, but I don't care for anything iridescent.
Okay, then. Yeah.
And then, um, cut glass.
And I like the silver, I don't want...
[clears throat] Uh, Mrs. Baines.
Hi.
An SUV?
I'll be inside.
[Michael] Mrs. Baines was an environmentally conscious conservative.
You really have to get rid of that.
Sit down.
Young man traveling around as a single passenger in an SUV,
do you have any idea the carbon footprint...
- You won't see it again. - Good.
One of the things that bothers me the most
about my husband and this campaign is that
he'll no longer travel on a commercial airline.
I mean, he's going to be traveling around on a private jet.
Yeah, those small planes, they make me nervous too.
No, it's about the fuel consumption.
Those things are the worst.
Listen, you have to understand, this campaign is going to be
a cross between the Reagan philosophy
and when Jimmy Carter had solar panels installed on the White House roof.
They worked wonderfully.
You're probably too young to remember any of this.
Unfortunately, they were dismantled during the Reagan administration.
It's the only blemish on an otherwise perfect presidency.
So...
Mary Maple tells me you have a beautiful cock.
Oh...
Sorry, what?
[sighs] Come with me.
Oh! You should think about getting a Volt.
Not only are they American-made,
but they run on gas and electric.
[softly] Look at this.
I can't do this.
Really?
I see evidence to the contrary.
This is wrong.
I don't feel right about this.
[sighs] You know how you got here.
I know how you got here.
Get up.
What... what are you doing?
[moaning]
[moans]
[moaning]
Now you can.
Excuse me?
I'm working for Senator Baines.
[laughing]
Yeah, right.
Yeah, no, I'm serious.
[chuckles] Come on.
- It just happened, Callie... - No.
No, things like this don't just happen.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Why would they even hire you knowing your history, our politics?
It just doesn't... Yeah, well,
that, uh, brings me to my other thing.
- There's a second thing? - Yeah.
I gave them the thumb drive.
What thumb drive?
The Judge Karl video.
I gave it to Rob Reynolds.
He's the one that offered me the job.
Are you fucking kidding me?
That was mine.
- Well, okay, it was sort of yours. - No!
These are mine!
Okay, Callie, well, I had to do something.
I had to make a move because we were drowning, you know that.
I mean, come on, look.
I give the drive to Rob Reynolds,
he pays our rent for the next six months.
Look at this.
That's more money than you've seen in your whole life.
Plus the reality is, now that they've seen the video,
no way Judge Karl's getting nominated for the Supreme Court,
so frankly, it's a win-win.
Win-win?
Michael, this is insane.
Goddamn it, are you for real? The United Party?
Okay, yes. But Baines is actually different.
- He's a fascist. - Fa... [scoffs]
Come on, Cal! What does that even mean?
You know what it means!
They'll sell guns to seven-year-olds, while they laugh
as cops fucking kill people in the street!
The want to de-unionize, deregulate the entire universe.
They'll sell us food that they refuse to eat... Callie.
They still are trying to overturn Roe v. Wade, for God's sakes!
Callie! What? They're the personification of evil.
And your good buddy Rob Reynolds is the devil himself.
Michael, what the fuck were you thinking?
They wanna hire you too.
So, what did he say about me?
- [rock song playing] - [man singing]
[Michael] The Volt. It runs on gas and it runs on battery.
This car was who I needed to be.
You know, make my own environment safe,
create as little pollution as possible.
[song continues]
[moaning]
[Michael] I was laying the groundwork for my own political career.
Now, I know what you're thinking,
but four years from now I could be Congressman Michael Lawson.
Then I could really help the people who needed it.
It was worth the risk.
At least, that's what I told myself.
You call that dressing inconspicuously?
- What? - Drive.
If you want a job...
[sighs] What do you need done?
- Martin Goodrich. - Hmm.
[imitating Southern accent] Senator from the great state of Florida?
Yep, that's right.
[normal accent] You know, they actually like their Social Security down there,
so, I bet he's gonna mop the floor with your guy on primary day, huh?
- Goodrich is a pervert. - I bet.
We hear he's into some pretty unsavory shit.
I heard the same, yeah.
Can you get it on camera?
Well... that depends.
That's half. Make sure to pack your sunscreen.
Fucking hate your politics, but... the money's not bad.
[Rob] Pull over.
[band playing "Hail to the Chief"]
[continues]
Please, please, not that song. Not today.
[song ends]
Today is about something different.
Today is about friends, old and new,
helping us to welcome home somebody very special.
It's about the best daughter a man could want.
My daughter, our daughter,
Darcy Baines. Come on down, baby.
[applause] [band playing]
[applause quiets]
[Baines] Have fun.
Hi! You look amazing.
[inaudible]
[singing traditional pop song]
[lighter clinks, clicks]
[Darcy] Don't do that.
I had actually given it up the other day.
Smoking?
Maybe.
I'm Darcy.
[clears throat] Michael Lawson. I work for your father.
So...
what do you do for my father?
Not sure, I just started.
I...
I think he'd make a great president, so I help out.
Well...
you're very...
[exhales]
Very what?
I don't know.
[both chuckle]
[lighter clinks, clicks]
Better not let your mother see that.
Yeah, my mother's dead.
Sorry, I... I meant Judith.
[chuckles] Yeah, I know what you meant.
Anyway, everything always gets cleaned up around here,
don't you know?
Hmm.
Hey, I have an idea.
[band playing traditional pop]
Jesus, she looks just like her. Who?
Judith, I need to know that you two are gonna get along this time.
Promise me?
Well, of course I promise.
Well, I'll leave you to it.
That dinner with Senator Woodward...
- Yeah? - Forget it. You don't need him.
He's a friend, Rob.
I know, we'll reschedule, but something came up.
What? Senator, you're flying home to Dallas.
Gertie Hayden? Just got off the phone with her.
- Our cash cow has finally come in. - It seems so.
Well, let's hope she's ready to give forth generously.
Are you coming?
Don't think so, don't want to spoil the milk.
You'll need someone with.
I'll call Billy, make sure he gets the somebody.
Sounds good.
So, how'd you like Europe?
Liked leaving it.
- Really? - Yeah.
[scoffs]
[Michael sighs] Okay.
So, uh...
So?
- So, I give up. - Smoking?
What?
You're gonna give up smoking for me.
I am.
Yeah.
You're gonna give up everything for me.
Uh...
Really.
Course.
Why?
Because.
Darcy.
[whispers] Say it again.
- Say what again? - My name.
Say it again.
I just started this job, Darcy.
Say it again.
[Rob] Darcy!
Your father's looking for you.
She's a little young for you, Michael.
[Kevin] Poor little Rob Reynolds.
Dog bites his face when he's seven years old.
I can see him writing in his composition book,
"What shall I become?
President of the United States."
Probably broke his little heart.
I bet the happiest day of his life
was when he realized he could grow a beard.
I mean, think about what that does to you. I mean, he's...
He's a powerful guy.
Hell, he might end up being one of the most powerful men in America.
But he'll never be president.
Almost makes you feel sorry for the guy.
Don't. He probably bit the dog first.
[chuckles] Hah, hah.
[Kevin] Look who's come down from Mount Olympus to mingle with the unwashed masses.
[Michael] Jerry Todd, the right hand of the left wing.
He had already gotten the last two presidents elected.
What?
Usually, at this point, I ask you who you're fucking.
No. No, no, no, that's usually the first thing you ask me.
Tell me you're not fucking Judith Baines.
[scoffs]
I'm not fucking Judith Baines.
Jesus, man.
Good, because then you'd be as reckless as Callie,
and I know you're not that stupid, right?
I'm not crazy.
[cell phone ringing]
Yeah?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah, absolutely, I'll... I'll be there.
Okay.
I'm flying with Baines to Dallas.
Dallas?
Nothing bad ever happened there.
I have to take a piss.
[Michael] I had heard Jerry Todd was looking
for someone inside the Baines campaign.
- [man] How's it hangin'? - You had to hand it to him,
he had a way of catching you at your most vulnerable.
Look, you hang to the left.
You worked for Lester Garret, didn't you?
So, what do you think you could do for me if I were to hire you?
Well, Jerry...
I've actually been leaning a little more to the right recently.
But it's been nice hanging with you.
Well, let me know if you ever change your mind.
Good morning.
Did you enjoy yourself at your party?
Yeah.
Good.
I noticed that you were dancing with Michael Lawson.
Darcy, now that your father's...
Well, we need to be careful.
"Careful."
"We."
You need to be careful about who you're seen...
Touching?
You know what I mean.
Is this coming from my father?
Mmm...
Anything regarding the campaign is coming from the both of us.
We were just dancing.
All right. [clears throat]
Um... Enjoy your breakfast.
[interviewer] Senator, you've been recently criticized by the NAACP
for your advocacy of racial profiling,
yet you claim that you yourself have never been racially profiled.
[Vonetta] No, not that I remember.
- Yet, rap mogul Mad Cash... - Yes. I heard what he had to say.
Calling me a female Uncle Tom.
He is the real problem in this country today,
superficial and materialistic.
If Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. were alive,
he would be far more upset with the way
young African-American men dress and act.
Dr. King was a rebel.
- Mad Cash is a... - [TV clicks off]
John,
you cannot have Vonetta Calhoun stand next to you
when you announce your candidacy.
- I can't? - She will hurt you
more than she will help you with the black vote.
African-American.
African-American, yes.
I see her down the line as a possible running mate.
That would be crazy, John.
Senator.
What's your real problem, Rob?
That she criticized your rap star buddy?
Senator, sir,
my rap star buddy can walk into any neighborhood...
Caucasian, African-American, Latino...
and not only register votes, but get you votes.
He's a cultural icon and a social media phenomenon.
My rap star buddy... is a billionaire.
I want Vonetta Calhoun standing next to me when I announce.
And where do you want Judith?
So, I understand you worked with Lester Garret.
Oh, yes, sir, I interned for him after I graduated from GW.
That turned into a full-time position, but...
Well, you know what happened.
Ol' Lester.
I'll say this about Lester Garret...
he went to bed at the end of the day believing his own bullshit.
And I mean that in a positive way.
Yes, sir. Can I freshen you up?
Oh, no thank you, I'm still working on this one, sir.
Michael, call me John.
Sure.
I had a tendency to overindulge, so...
It's in the genes.
Is that so?
My father, he did a lot of damage to his liver, to his family.
Were you close with your dad?
No, no, he wasn't around much.
How 'bout your mom?
I had an aunt, her sister.
She was, uh...
kind to me.
Can't pick your family, sir.
[chuckles] Least not the first time around.
[chuckles]
Nothing harder than family.
Nothing more important either.
Family, yes, sir.
- And, Michael, call me John. - Right, yes.
- [pop song playing] - [woman singing]
[woman rapping]
Who's your lady friend over there?
Tanya is her name.
And I have yet to see her naked.
You want that?
Yeah, you want that.
Tanya.
Come here.
[song continues]
[inaudible]
I wanna know more about your friend here.
Rob.
Tanya.
[Tanya] How are you?
[song ends]
[Darcy] Oh, yeah, I think I saw... [Baines] You did, huh?
That's what comes with running a ranch.
- Okay. - I guess.
- Hey, morning. - [Baines] Morning.
[Darcy] You like eggs? Yeah, thank you.
Good.
Then sit.
You remember my daughter, Darcy?
[Michael] I do.
Did I not tell you she was going to be here?
You did not.
That's because my father always wanted a son.
That's not true.
I wanted two sons. [chuckles]
- Don't burn the eggs. - [laughs]
It's not gonna pour itself.
Huh?
You look like you could use some.
Oh. Thank you.
[Baines] So, Vonetta Calhoun.
- Senator from Virginia. - Yeah.
Did you see that clip?
The racial profiling thing?
Yeah, I did.
What'd you think?
Honestly, I think the racial profiling issue
is a lot more complicated than the people are willing to admit.
I know that.
What do you think of her?
The people she's talking about
are way more interested in assimilation and survival than anything else.
Like, you can't attract young voters by attacking the way they dress.
- So precious. - Hi.
[man] You only get two tries for free.
[Michael] Gertie Hayden, the cash cow, was old Texas oil.
She had already bankrolled one ex-president.
I don't trust a man who don't drink.
Yeah.
Okay.
You sure are pretty to look at.
- [chuckles] - [laughs]
- Now, that Reynolds boy, Ron Reynolds. - Rob.
Rob, Ron, whatever the hell his name is.
That boy gives me the heebie-jeebies, you know what I mean?
I believe in John.
He's a hell of a man and that's why I'm gonna back him.
Can't stand that wife, though. [sighs]
Now, she is a terrific kid.
When her mama died, John didn't know what to do.
That little girl, as a seven-year-old,
had more to do with bringing John back
than anything that bitch has ever done.
First thing Judith did after they got married
was to send Darcy away to a private school in New England.
[sighs] Don't get me wrong,
Judith has helped his political career, all right.
But with that little girl away from him,
that just about broke John's heart.
Is that right?
I am so glad John decided to unite us on this trip.
[laughs]
[Baines] Come on.
[Rob] And this is the answer to the post-neocon Tea Party movements
that have hijacked the Republican...
[Michael] Back in the capital,
Tanya had agreed to have dinner with Rob Reynolds as a favor to Mad Cash.
...family values, fiscal responsibility, and my baby.
I'm calling all the shots, and once we get to the White House...
Mad Cash said you know people in television.
Yeah.
So, do you know anyone at Access Hollywood?
Because I think I'd be good at that.
This is the District of Columbia.
So you can't help me with that?
I know people at Fox News.
- Rob! - Jerry.
Jerry Todd, Tanya Jones.
Miss Jones.
So, how goes the campaign, Rob?
- What campaign? - Ha!
Rob and I have the same job, only I'm on a real team.
Speaking of teams. Isn't that Kenyon Carver?
Also known to basketball fans as Mr. Downtown?
A pleasure.
You don't like your salad?
Get in.
Umm, excuse me, I'm gonna go to the ladies room.
Look at Kenyon Carver there.
He's the most selfish player in the league.
He wouldn't pass the salt to his own mother at the dinner table.
You know, I was never good at math, Rob.
But subtraction would indicate you're minus one date.
Did you sleep with that old woman?
No.
[Darcy] This is where it happened.
And I was in the car with her.
She never saw the other car coming.
After the accident, when I finally went back to school, um...
the bus would drive past here every day.
And, um... then one day I just, I...
I broke. I broke down.
I told my father.
You know, he didn't want me to see that, so...
he used his influence to have the bus rerouted.
Took 20 minutes longer to get to school, but...
I never had to go by here again.
You have to promise...
to never hurt my father.
Huh?
Promise.
I promise.
[grunting, moaning]
This is crazy.
- Yeah, it is. - [sighs]
Last time.
Good, yeah, I think that's for the best.
Last time here, Michael.
I don't think I can do this anymore.
It's wrong.
You'll do this until I say stop.
Find us a new place. Not a hotel.
Next time you tell me this is wrong...
I'll tell Rob Reynolds that you raped me.
I'm wearing your DNA right now.
Don't forget that.
Just find a new place.
[scoffs] I just wish more people knew
how easy it was to get this video.
You proud of me?
Yeah, I guess. Jesus, poor dog.
There's more.
What's this?
Peanut butter and roses.
- No, I... - [laughs] Here.
"You are a true artist and a great American. RR."
Rob Reynolds, what a guy.
[keys jingle]
Ain't life grand?
Cal, are you sure this is what you wanna be doing?
Absolutely.
I found my calling.
Michael, Rob wants to see you in his office.
You wanted to see me?
Michael, come on in.
Oh, John.
Tell Rob what you told me about racial profiling.
Yes, the senator says
that you have an opinion about Vonetta Calhoun
that you'd like to share.
We're anxious to hear what.
Uh, yeah, um, I think I said that the issue is complex.
I also said the people she's talking about
are more worried about assimilation and survival than anything else.
Is that it? Did I leave anything out?
Ah, about the young voters...
Uh, you can't attract...
You can't attract young voters by attacking the way they dress.
Thanks, Michael.
Well, I think Michael's right,
Vonetta Calhoun is definitely not the way to go.
She's out of the event, your rap star buddy is in.
Very good, Senator.
Rob, call me John.
So? How's Cruella de Vil been treating you?
Uh, with kid gloves.
'Cause she's afraid of you.
I don't... I don't want to talk about her.
Guess who just walked in.
What's up, man? Man.
[sighs] So, what's the good word? Abstinence.
That's a good word for people who get laid.
Sadly, for the rest of us, it's merely a fact of life.
What can I get you?
Club soda with, actually, just a little bit of rum in it.
- Okay. Menu? - No, no, thanks.
So, how's Callie doing?
Don't know. Fine, I guess. Why?
Tell me, was that a Doberman or a Rottweiler?
Don't ever play poker.
So, who's she working for, Jerry Todd?
No, not quite.
Indeed.
The plot thickens. Okay.
Thank you. I'm gonna have to order off the menu for this one.
God, I love dinner theater.
Oh, shit.
It's Darcy.
That's Baines's daughter?
My God.
She's breathtaking.
I mean, not in the "I wanna fucking bang her" kinda way,
more in the "I wanna hold her and spoon with her after the fact" way.
Maybe even weep a little.
Hey, man, you mind if a take rain check on this one?
What... Dude. What...
- Come on, you just got here. - I'll see you at the fountain later.
You gotta be kidding me.
Hey.
Give me a ride?
That girl you were with...
she was at your party.
She the one who told you about me?
Jeannie's an idiot.
What'd she... What'd she say?
What are you doing?
I can't... I'm... I can't.
Fine.
[Darcy chuckles]
Come on.
[keys jingling] [door unlocks, opens]
[cell phone buzzing]
Oh, fuck. Judith. Fuck.
Callie? [cell phone ringing]
Hey, Callie, I'm glad you called.
I'm wondering, can you be out of the apartment tomorrow...
What?
[crowd chattering]
I'm so sorry, you're gonna be okay, don't worry.
Callie? Callie, what happened?
[crowd chattering] [hip-hop on speakers]
Can I help you?
[people screaming]
I'm gonna fucking kill him, you understand me?
He's dead!
What are you talking about?
Why don't you go fucking ask Rob?
Rob? Okay, wait, I'm coming with you.
No.
- Don't. - Callie.
Get the fuck away from me!
[ambulance departs] [siren wailing]
[Michael] Rob Reynolds had been humiliated.
What he had done to Tanya he did for personal reasons...
[people screaming]
and that made it all the more unsettling.
- [woman] Stop it! Stop it! - Help! Somebody, help!
[Callie] They posted it online?
It's not good enough that they beat her to a bloody pulp,
they had to post it online too?
There's no way in hell I'm letting him get away with it.
I'm taking Tanya, I'm gonna take her home.
And then as soon as I get back here, oh-ho-ho, I'm gonna fix this.
And then we're getting out of here for good, so pack your shit!
What... We? What are you talk... Callie! What are you talking about?
Callie!
Fuck.
- [knocking] - [sighs]
Damn it. Cocksucker.
Who the fuck is knocking on my door?
[knocking continues]
Oh. Hello, Mother.
I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong apartment.
Are you sure? Because I'm not the only one that lives here.
Yeah, I'm sure it's the wrong apartment.
Hey, you look familiar.
Are you a friend of Michael's?
No, just a little lost.
- Maybe I could help. - No, thank you.
Okay, well, you have a blessed day!
[cell phone ringing] Michael Lawson.
Is in big trouble.
Hey. Where were you?
I'm sorry. Reynolds called me into his office, I lost track of time.
Who was that annoying girl that answered your door?
[softly] Fuck.
[normal voice] Uh, that was my roommate.
She was not supposed to be there.
Is she your lover?
No, she's a lesbian.
Get rid of her.
Well, I thought I had.
Just make it happen.
[cell phone ringing]
Yeah?
It's me. Yeah.
Well, you were supposed to clear out.
Why?
I think you know why.
Chanel No. 5? We met.
Leave it alone, Cal.
Look...
I just have to drive Tanya home,
and then you can have the place all to yourself.
How is Tanya?
That should have been your first concern.
[dial tone]
[Todd] This better be good. I was in the middle of an amazing massage.
Well...
I've got something I'm selling to the highest bidder,
if you know what I mean.
Okay, so what do you got?
It will destroy Rob Reynolds
and the entire Baines campaign.
I might have an investor.
You tell me what you have, I'll tell you what it's worth.
So, what do you got?
[chuckling]
[pop song playing]
[Darcy] Take me away from here. [Michael] Huh?
Take me to your place.
I can't, I have a roommate.
Then take me to a hotel.
[Michael sighs]
That's not...
We can't start sneaking around like that, Darcy.
That's just not a good idea.
[song continues] [man singing]
I should go, and you should get back.
[grunts]
My father is going to make his announcement tomorrow.
I know.
I want you to take me.
I don't think the campaign wants that.
It's what I want.
[sighs] Darcy.
I love you.
[song continues]
[Michael] "Darcy, I love you."
I wanted to say it.
But I couldn't.
I was thinking about Dallas.
Being in their kitchen with them.
Having breakfast together.
Me, Darcy, and Baines.
How happy they seemed.
How happy I felt, how...
I'm not happy. Jesus Christ!
What exactly do you think you're doing? Judith...
I want this to stop.
I... I don't know what you mean.
You don't know what you're dealing with, Michael.
This is not about us.
This is about Darcy, and she is an extremely troubled girl.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Look...
You have a future if you want it,
you can go on the road and campaign with John.
And I promise to leave you alone.
But this country needs my husband,
and the only thing Darcy will bring you or this campaign is down.
What do you mean, she's troubled?
She tried to kill me, that's why she was sent away.
She tried to kill you.
- You're fucking lying. - Look at me.
When she as 14, she attacked me at the dinner table.
Attacked you? Stabbed me in the hand,
could've cut me to ribbons if John hadn't...
Well, look, something you may not have noticed.
Shit.
[lighter clinks]
Now, why... why would she do that?
I'm not getting into it.
Why should I believe you, then?
I'm through with you.
With this.
We won't be seeing each other anymore, okay?
And I'm... I'm sorry I snapped and...
threatened you, but...
I felt something for you and...
you made me feel ugly.
Anyway, it's done, and...
you see the scar and you know I'm telling the truth.
You want to run for Congress, right?
Am I right?
We can make that happen.
But are you willing to make the necessary sacrifices, Michael?
Think about it.
What's up?
- Billy, come in. - What's up?
Come on. Have a seat.
[indistinct] No, no, it's okay. Sit down.
We... have a snitch at Jerry Todd's office.
Said someone came to see him, said she has something...
that can destroy Baines.
She? Who are we talking about?
Billy,
there are 270 million guns in the United States of America.
And that's one of them.
Callie?
Callie, you back?
[fan blowing]
Callie?
[keys jingle]
[Callie sighs] Michael,
I wanted to let you know that I am leaving
because you have broken my heart
and now I feel the need to save you.
And make some serious money.
So... Well...
I recorded you with Judith Baines.
[laughs] I'm kind of surprised...
- Oh, Jesus Christ. - ...she'd have sex with you here.
- But, um... - Oh, fuck!
at the end of the day...
I forgive you, she was clearly using you.
I mean, we'll split the money.
You know, head off somewhere together like we always said.
...a interesting video and I'm going to sell it to the highest bidder.
Now, this is partially both of our faults, but what were you thinking?
[sighs] I mean, I forgive you, all right?
I forgive you for you losing your way.
- [blowing] - I have to do this for both of us, okay?
I mean, we'll split the money...
- [whispers] Where'd you go? - ...and...
You know, we'll go off somewhere together, like we always talked about.
We can be completely different people... Oh, fuck.
...do something so much...
[tones beeping]
Hello.
Check the windows.
Michael, Michael, Michael.
[line ringing]
Come on, Michael, pick up the phone.
Come on, Callie. Pick up. Pick the fuck up.
[busy signal] Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, fuck!
[cell phone ringing]
Hello?
Michael, where are you?
Rob, I'm sorry. I'm handling this.
Handling what?
- I'm not stupid. - No, I am.
What do you want? I'm willing to pay.
This was not me, I had nothing to do with this, Rob.
Really? 'Cause from what I'm hearing, you play a major role.
I'm taking care of this, I promise.
Where are you, Michael? Where's Callie? I need to talk to her.
Fuck.
[rock on car stereo]
[engine off] [music off]
- Shh! Shh! - Michael!
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck are you doing?
- We need to leave. - No, no,
you need to give me that drive, you need to give me the camera, you need to erase...
You need to erase that fucking tape off of wherever else it is.
- [scoffs] - Callie!
What? Callie.
- What? - Callie.
- Please. - What is your problem?
You gotta give me every copy you...
- [Darcy] Every copy of what, Michael? - Why?
Michael, who is this?
This is Callie.
Callie, this is Darcy, Senator Baines's daughter.
[laughing]
Oh, that's fucking...
[clears throat] I'm an old friend of Michael's.
What is this?
I'm here to take you to the announcement.
That's for Judith, actually.
Michael, what's going on?
[Callie] I need to leave.
Michael, are you coming with me?
Michael?
No.
Oh.
Okay. Suit yourself.
I'll see you later.
'Cause you're gonna call me.
We should go.
[car door opens] To the announcement?
Inside.
[engine starts] [rock on car stereo]
[tires screeching]
- [audience cheering] - [Baines] Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, thank you very much.
It is an honor to be here with you today.
[inaudible] I'm humbled by the experience.
I don't need to tell you that we live in trying times.
Challenges facing our great country,
rising unemployment, runaway inflation,
diminishing opportunities
are tearing at the very fabric of our American families.
And I know how important family is to all of us.
[Judith moaning on video]
Was this before or after we were together?
[gasps, shudders]
The United Party is a conservative party.
We share the same core values.
We can embrace traditional morals
without falling prey to bigotry.
- [applause] - We can.
Or worse... Or worse...
allowing bigots to hide behind our honestly held principles.
[water running]
[Michael] Darcy.
You promised me.
I didn't know Callie was filming us.
[water off]
We want God and we want faith.
We don't want fear, and heaven knows, we've had too much hate.
[cheering]
And we have room...
We have room for everyone, because we are everyone.
Everyone who has ever worked hard,
everyone who has ever pushed open
the doors of opportunity for themselves.
We believe in the American dream!
We believe in America!
Leave.
Use the back door.
That's what we tell the help to do.
[cheering]
As a member of the United Party,
I, John Boland Baines,
announce my candidacy
for president of the United States of America.
Thank you.
Thank you!
[chanting] Baines! Baines! Baines! Baines! Baines!
[Baines] The United Party!
Baines! Baines! Baines! Baines! Baines!
I have to take care of something.
Baines! Baines! Baines! Baines! Baines! Baines!
[Baines] Thank you!
Thank you! [Judith] Do you think Michael was in on it?
[Rob] I don't know, but it doesn't really matter now, does it?
Where is he? I was hoping you could tell me.
[cell phone rings] Yeah?
Wait here.
Darcy?
I'm in here.
Oh, there he is. Come here.
Rob. Rob. The fuck you think you're doin', huh?
Fuck is wrong with you, huh?
Calm down, Rob. You wanna fucking ruin everything?
You and that dyke cunt.
Darcy.
What?
We need to talk.
Where's Michael?
Michael's on the TV.
Darcy.
No, no, no.
Okay, you need to calm down.
It's okay, just please calm down.
No, Darcy.
Darcy!
I'm gonna take care of this. You don't think I'll crush you?
- [Judith] Darcy, no! - [blow lands]
- [screaming] - [stabs]
[Darcy gasps, whimpers]
Oh, my God.
[breathing heavily]
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
[screams]
[Judith] Oh, my God.
[sobbing] No!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, no, no!
- Oh, my God. - No, no, no!
Judith?
Why, Michael?
[Darcy] Michael! [Rob] What happened?
Fuck!
Fuck. [Darcy] I'm sorry.
- [Judith] Darcy, put down the knife. - [Rob] No, no.
Darcy, give me the knife.
No! We have to take him to the hospital. Give me the knife!
[Darcy] Michael!
Darcy, listen to me, Darcy!
Listen to me, you're gonna have to listen to me, okay, both of you.
Darcy, listen to him.
Open it.
[cartridge clatters] [pistol cocks]
[Michael] Oh.
They're gonna get you an ambulance and you're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be okay, I promise!
You're gonna be all right.
Michael, okay, you're gonna be all right, I promise.
Put him in the car. [Michael groaning]
No, no, he needs an ambulance.
Darcy, you have to trust Rob.
You're gonna have to trust Rob.
- We have to trust Rob. - [Rob screaming]
[gasping]
[breathing raggedly]
Todd shit his pants.
He's probably still in the parking garage counting the 10,000.
Good.
Callie?
That flash drive she had, that the only one, Michael?
[Michael] Anything happens to me,
the Washington Post gets a package.
You're full of shit.
Were gonna drop him on the side of the road.
Wait, what?
Call 911 with your dummy phone and they'll come get him.
They'll take you to the hospital, fix you up.
Can you hold on for that long?
I don't know, I don't know.
And when the cops come, you tell them
the person who stabbed you was male Caucasian.
- Darcy? - You understand, Michael?
Yes.
[Rob] Get his watch and his wallet, everything.
I should have gone with him to the hospital.
Rob will take care of it.
It was an accident, I wasn't trying...
Are you gonna help me?
Are you gonna help your father?
Is he gonna send me away again?
Look at me.
No one is getting sent away, do you understand?
No one is getting sent away.
We are gonna be the First fucking Family.
Now, go get a mop.
[Rob] We play this right...
You listening, Michael?
- Mmm-hmm. - Play this right,
and we all win.
Callie.
No.
Darcy.
You think about Darcy.
- Hey. - [chuckles]
Ah, a declaration of your love for me?
Your friend Michael, the good-looking one,
he dropped this off, told me to give it to you.
[Michael] Dear Kevin,
There's a very good chance that after tonight
you will not see me again.
If that is the case, do your old college roommate a solid.
When the time is right, tell Darcy Baines I'm sorry.
And that I never meant to hurt her or her father.
Tell her what I couldn't.
That I loved her,
and that the happiest moments of my life were spent with her.
[ragged breathing]
That's all the details you get, my friend.
I was gonna be a player in this town...
and Callie, Callie was gonna...
Well, needless to say...
it hasn't worked out.
[gasping]
[sirens wailing in distance]
[sirens wailing]
[pop song playing]
Subtitles by explosiveskull
[man singing]
[song continues]
[song fades]